


Ad Astra Per Aspera [2] - Band of Brothers

by wexhappyxfew



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate History, Band Of Brothers - Freeform, Emotions, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Government, Healthy Realtionships, Love, Military, Nurses' Corps, Platonic friendships, Reunions, SPARs, Sadness, Sisterhood, Slow Burn, Trauma, Valid Emotions, WAC - Freeform, World War 2, World War II, being there for one another, dealing with grief, operation virago - Freeform, viragos, wound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 74
Words: 237,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25766932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wexhappyxfew/pseuds/wexhappyxfew
Summary: Ad Astra Per Aspera is the sequel to The Soldier of Stars.Waking up disoriented and inside a hospital, that has the dingy army issued light bulbs, the rough cots and the smell of despair is not how Hazel thought her new year would start, especially with the pulsing wound that lies in her side. Hazel Parker, severely injured and mentally unstable, lies in wait at a field hospital, as Easy Company continues to battle the tortures of the war.Catherine McCown, Elizabeth Elliot and Easy Company, are struggling, especially after the major losses of Bill Guanere and Joe Toye or others like Donald Hoobler and especially Skip Muck and Alex Penkala and most importantly, the tiny sniper Hazel Parker. Each loss pushed Easy into a darker time, a darker reality that they would ultimately have to face if they were to make the attack on Foy.Through the ups and downs of the ending of the war Ad Astra Per Aspera follows Easy's ending to the war as well as Hazel's undying story of love and war, as well as the thoughts of the stars and the will to keep fighting even if you're hurting.
Relationships: Brotherhood - Relationship, Floyd Talbert x OC, Friendship - Relationship, George Luz x OFC, Joseph Liebgott x OFC, Sisterhood - Relationship
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

_ad astra per aspera_

.....

_to the stars_

.....

_through difficulties_

....

_PLEASE READ **THE SOLDIER OF STARS** BEFORE THIS BOOK!!_

hazel parker has been wounded in battle, more severely than she has ever been before. waking up inside of a field hospital was not how she has expected her evening to end up going. away from all her friends, away from easy company, away from catherine, away from lizzie, away from joe. she wasn't there anymore, she wasn't fighting that battle. she was here in a field hospital, fighting with the demons that played ball in her head. fighting with the reality that she wasn't in the war anymore with the enemy but with herself. 

the stars were there to comfort her though.

they always were.

hazel finds herself thrust into a new reality of war; the struggle of the combat medics and nurses behind the lines. with the help of a nurses' corps members, by the name of amelia beckett, hazel slowly recovers and gets back on her feet, but the process of recovery is not an easy one, especially not alone. her own personal struggle of recovery to get back to where she had started and to get back to easy company, to get back to her family. to get back to the men and women she loved. 

catherine mccown does not fare well knowing that the little sniper that has become like a sister to her, is injured, pulled from the line and stuck in a tiny hospital, shivering, alone and upset, with easy company. 

elizabeth elliot does not fare well knowing that she couldn't do a thing to save the sniper who was like a sister to here, watching as she cried out in the terror and fear that lizzie had hoped to never see on the woman's face. 

joseph liebgott does not fare well knowing that he's sitting in a foxhole, holding the tiny, golden chain bracelet of hazel's and she's not sitting there beside him telling him about the stars. he's upset that she's not here and instead she's in a field hospital, alone.

easy company sits in wait as hazel parker sits in a field hospital, struggling to face the reality of the situation, of the pain in her side, of the mental battle she now faces, and the struggle to get back to war and to her family. 

this is her fight back to the company she loves, back to easy company.

but hazel finds solace in the stars. 

she always does.

\- even through her difficulties that accompany her journey back to easy and back to her family. 

_the stars were always there for her, even if she wasn't there for herself._

_______________________________________

_hi! welcome to the sequel to the soldier of stars, ad astra per aspera. i have been so excited to unveil this book, especially with how lengthy the other has gotten. i felt this was a pivotal enough point to start off the new book own, so we truly see hazel's struggles in war, put to light. the beginning of this books deals with that struggle and her return to easy before eventually seeing the end of the war and the horrors that accompany it. if you've joined me this far on the journey, i have never been happier to be here with you!! thank you!! <3_


	2. tears on my cheek

" Once women find sisterhood, there's nothing stronger."

_\- Zoe Kravitz_

✰✰✰

_" Hazel!"_

_" Hazel!"_

_" Hazel!"_

" Hazel!" Catherine yelled, her voice strained, as she cupped her hands around her mouth, calling out for the sniper, her heart racing. Hazel hadn't been in her foxhole with Shifty and after the shellings she was no where.

" Hazel!" Catherine yelled again. Catherine's hands were shaking. 

" Hazel?" Catherine whispered, her voice shattering into shards like a vase on concrete.

" Lieutenant McCown." a voice said and Catherine looked over her shoulder to see Gene there, body ridged, eyes firm and cold. Her heart sank into her chest. 

" What? What it is? Did you find Hazel?" Catherine said, taking a few steps towards Gene. Gene met her eyes, his lips formed into a thin line across his pale face.

" Gene." she whispered.

" Follow me." he said simply before turning. 

Catherine froze for a moment before eventually gaining her footage and hurrying after Gene. 

As the duo walked through the trees, Catherine began to see people standing in a huddled group, talking quickly. There was yelling, there were frantic calls, and there was the sound of an oncoming jeep in the distance. With each step grief filled Catherine's system and more tears threatened to rush to her eyes. 

_No, no, no,_ she kept whispering to herself. 

This wasn't how it had to be.

This wasn't what it was going to be. 

As they rounded the corner to the clearing, Catherine's heart caught in her throat. 

It was Hazel. 

She was lying on her back, hands limply pressed against the side of her chest, face too ungodly pale for Catherine's liking, eyelids gently shut over the blue brightness that was usually underneath. Catherine's knees went to jello as she watched Lizzie, working dutifully to wrap the wound pierced in Hazel's side. There were others there, mostly medics, but Catherine noticed Foley there, as well as Lip, Malarkey, Tab and Shifty all talking softly together. Catherine watched Gene gently bend down next to Lizzie and begin to help her as a jeep slowly began to drive up through the snow patches. Catherine's heart stopped. That's when she met Lip's eyes and the man was already making his way over towards her, picking up his pace as he watched the Lieutenant crumble into pieces.

" Lip, _no_ , please she can't be, _please_ , _please_! Lip _NO_!!" Catherine cried, as the tears crawled down her face as she collapsed into his arms, shaking and trembling, sobs crawling past her chapped lips and into his shoulder. 

" She's alive." Lip whispered, and that's all it took for Catherine to let out a sob, as she struggled to hold onto Lip, to let him keep her in that hug, to let him hold her.

" She's alive." cried Catherine, hot, boiling tears streaking down her face, as sobs escaped her lips like a waterfall, only making her cry harder. Lip slowly pulled back and gently cupped Catherine's face, as tears ran from her eyes, blinding her vision in the night. 

" Will she be okay?" managed Catherine, hiccuping through the tears as the medics and some of the other guys over there looked her way. 

Catherine loved Hazel with her whole heart. Hazel was a sister, a woman who didn't need to be told she were strong, who didn't need to be humbled or told she was doing something wrong. She was powerful in her own way and all she had ever been was pure and innocent, to pure and innocent for this war. And now, she lay right beside death's bed, almost rolling off into the abyss. Hazel had been kind to everyone; she always had been and now watching her lying there pale, almost lifeless, Catherine couldn't help but press a hand to her mouth again and let another sob pass her lips.

" She'll be okay, Cath," Lip whispered, wiping at the hot tears that pressed down her cheeks like wax, " she's going to be fine." Catherine let out another aching sob, that ripped raw from her core. Hazel had been nothing but pure and now this is what she got. 

War was _cruel_. 

When Catherine had cleared herself, Lip gently let her grip his arm as he led her toward Hazel. Catherine gently bent down beside Lizzie who sat silently beside Hazel, tears in her own eyes, even though she fought so hard to keep them from running down her own pale face. Catherine watched Hazel's youthful face, laying so deafly still. 

When would they see her smile again? 

When would they see her dimples, or the way her eyes lit up when she talked about the stars? 

When would they see Hazel again? 

Hazel's hands were covered in her own blood and the area where the wound was had been hastily cleaned and tied up as well as it could for the Ardennes forest. Catherine slowly reached forward, sitting right by Hazel's head and cupped her cold check, gently brushing her thumb over it.

" Hey Hazel," Catherine whispered, her voice shaking as she spoke, " I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." Catherine's throat tightened up, and her eyes had never filled quicker with tears. 

" I promised I would from the day we were shoved into paratrooper training, I vowed it to myself," Catherine whispered, the urge to start sobbing again, plummeting through her throat like lava, a hot, horrid, truth, " and I couldn't even do that. You don't deserve this. No one does." Catherine looked down again, squeezing her eyes shut, praying, praying she wouldn't break again. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Lizzie. Catherine gently reached up to place her hand over Lizzie's and gently squeezed it. Lizzie felt a tear crawl down her cheek.

" I'm sorry I couldn't save you." whimpered Catherine, keeping her eyes closed, forcing them to remain closed, " You're my sister, Tiny, you know you are, you've always been. And I love you, I love you so much." Catherine remembered when Hazel walked into Fort Bragg in through that dark oak door on the first day in Camp Athene, how bright eyed and young she was, how quiet yet humble she remained. How she held herself, how there was this silent pride that swelled and burst from her. Catherine felt like she was watching a movie, every moment that Catherine could remember spending with Hazel, flying through her head. 

" You taught me so many things," Catherine whispered, " I just can't believe you're hurt." A small whimper left her lips. It grew quiet in the night, as the snow silently fell as if in mourning for the innocent that slowly slipped from its grasp.

" The jeeps here." Gene softly whispered. 

" Cath," a quiet voice whispered and Catherine looked up to see Malarkey there, " how about you come back to my foxhole?" Catherine watched him with tear filled eyes.

" Don..." she whispered.

" C'mon," he said softly, gently wrapping an arm over her shoulders. Catherine cast a desperate glance back at Hazel, praying that her eyes would flutter open that she'd sit up and she'd smile again. But she lay still, the shallow rise and fall of her chest barely visible. Lizzie met Catherine's eyes.

" Go, Cath." Lizzie whispered. Catherine sucked in a breath and nodded. Malarkey slowly helped her to her feet, leading her away. Lizzie watched Catherine go, her body trembling. Lizzie turned her focus away from her to Hazel. Her main priority. The stretcher bearers approached from the jeep. 

" Help me move her." Lizzie said softly, her pained eyes looking at the stretcher bearers. Gene gently moved to Hazel's shoulders as Lizzie took to her side as Oates and another stretcher bearer took to her legs and side. The 4 slowly lifted her body up from the crimson snow and onto the worn stretcher.

" Let's get her moving." Gene said as the two stretcher bearers slowly lifted her up and began moving her towards the jeep. Lizzie gently walked to Gene's side, looking up towards him. 

" Hey," Gene whispered, placing a hand on her back, his fingers warm," she'll be okay, she's strong." Lizzie softly nodded, swallowing gently her heart racing. The medic stature kept her from fulling breaking down at the sight of Hazel lying there in the snow, motionless, but it didn't keep the emotions from the pounding in her heart. 

Once Hazel's stretcher was moved onto the jeep, Lizzie felt herself crumbling as she slowly climbed up into the jeep to take the woman who was like her sister to a field hospital. It hurt. Lizzie slowly sat down in the back of the truck, as Gene followed in beside her and the stretcher bearers took over the driver's and passenger's seats. Lizzie could feel herself, holding in her tears, her whole body was shaking and this time it wasn't from the cold or the sickness. She watched Gene gently grab her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as Lizzie shut her eyes and felt another tear crawl out, her bottom lip trembling. 

She was a medic for God's sake, she wasn't supposed to be crying. 

She wasn't supposed to be this ungodly upset because it was war. 

But it was Hazel. 

The girl who had already been through so much in her life, so much pain and fear and trauma, that forced her to grow up as a young child. 

And her she was, wounded and unconscious. 

Lizzie gently squeezed Gene's hand back, reaching up a shaking hand to wipe at her eyes as she bit back her trembling lips. The drive to the aid station back behind the lines where Buck, Bill and Joe Toye had all gone was emotional. Her body was just limp and even with all the bumps of the road, she didn't wake. 

Lizzie was in a daze as the jeep rolled up to where a few members of the Nurses' Corps came running out to retrieve her. Lizzie watched from the back of the jeep as the stretcher bearers seemed to move in slow motion helping the stretcher move from the front to the tent inside, as the nurses led them inside.

" Lizzie," Gene whispered at her side. Lizzie bit back a trembling lip. Stay strong. Stay strong. Lizzie blew out a trembling breath as her throat tightened up. 

" Come on," Gene said, gently standing and hoping out of the truck before turning and making sure Lizzie could hop down. Lizzie moved in after the stretcher bearers following where they went. They moved Hazel onto a nearby cot, where a few medics were that immediately began working on her unconscious body. Lizzie stopped a bit farther back, watching as they cut open her ODs and began dressing the wound. Lizzie's heart broke into pieces.

" Excuse me?" a voice said and Lizzie looked up with tear filled eyes to see that it was one of the nurses that had helped bring Hazel in, " I need to fill out a report for her, what happened?" Lizzie stared at her, lip trembling, trying to get herself to speak, to get words to move out of her mouth. That's when a hand pressed against her back and a voice spoke up at her side.

" During the shellings," Gene said, " she took a hit. The pain was too much, so she passed out." The nurse nodded, writing down a few things on her slip of paper.

" Her name?" 

" Hazel Parker." Lizzie said softly. The nurse smiled.

" She's a Virago isn't she." the nurse said and Lizzie nodded slowly. The nurse smiled as she began to fill out other bits of information.

" We've had a few in here from the 82nd in the past month," the nurse said, " they've all made a safe return to the front line and I have a feeling Hazel Parker will too." Lizzie let out a shaky breath and nodded as she felt Gene look towards her.

" Left lower abdominal wound," the nurse said, " no morphine?"

" No," Gene said, " she passed out on her own, when we had gotten there at least." The nurse nodded as Lizzie's eyes trained on Hazel, as the medics worked with ease. It was like they were numb. Lizzie sniffled.

" The shrapnel has been removed," the nurse confirmed, " but she'll need to heal, and we're not sure how long that could take. I'd say your goodbyes for now when they're done." Lizzie and Gene nodded before the nurse gave them a smile and then stepped past them moving towards the surgeon. Lizzie met Gene's eyes, and he watched her softly as her eyes glossed over. The gaze was soft, but filled with tension. 

It would be like telling everyone all over again that Donald Hoobler was gone, or that Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye had taken a hit or Buck was being pulled from the line or Skip and Penkala were gone. It was a horrible feeling that Lizzie was scared to break the news of. 

Lizzie and Gene sat outside in the blistering snow at 0100, waiting for when they could be allowed inside to see Hazel. Conscious or not. Lizzie sat beside Gene on the bench, arms crossed over her chest, staring forward, eyes blank. Gene was beside her, his worry filled eyes keeping his own watch on the blonde medic. He watched Lizzie let out a tiny sigh, her whole body heaving with the movement.

" My heart hurts," Lizzie whispered, her voice like a a flower blooming in snow. Lizzie sat curled into herself, her nose bright red, her lip giving a tremble every so often, her body shivering. Lizzie shook her head. 

" None of them deserved this," Lizzie whispered, " to get the injuries they did." Gene watched Lizzie reach up to presumably wipe at her cheek. Her watched Lizzie lower her hand then and looked at her fingers, before balling them into a fist and putting them back into her crossed arms over her chest.

" You know," Lizzie said, a small laugh leaving her mouth, a bit tear filled, but a small laugh, " she was the one back in Camp Athene that inspired all of us. She never knew it, but she got up and got moving, even if she was having a bad day. And she'd do her 5 miles, crawl through the mud, aid in the practice patrol session with Thermes and run the obstacle course like a piece of cake. It was like there was no fear in her. It was so inspiring." Gene watched Lizzie faintly smile, her eyes on the ground as she did so. 

" I wish I could've told her." Lizzie said and that's when Gene looked at her.

" She's going to be fine," Gene said softly as Lizzie glanced his way, a small smile on her lips. 

" And you'll tell her yourself when she comes back to the line, whenever that may be alright?" Gene said softly and Lizzie nodded. A tearful smile adorned her lips, but it settled Gene's nerves for a moment. 

When they were finally led into where Hazel was, her side was all cleaned up, yet she was still unconscious, her chest slowly rising and falling. Lizzie and Gene just sat on opposite sides of Hazel for a while, looking at her, praying she'd wake up, that her body would shift and she'd be awake, saying she's fine, that she's okay. 

That everything would be fine. 

But instead she lay still. 

It was like the two medics were in mourning, looking at Hazel, who would be fine at the end of this, who would survive who would live a life after this. But it felt like a mourning because they had no clue when her return to Easy would be. She'd come back, but would it be in a month, 2 months? 

Who knew. 

Hazel didn't wake the entire time that Gene and Lizzie sat there with Hazel, in a soft silence. Eventually they had to move back to the line, they had a company to take care of. So, tearfully, Lizzie left Hazel, lying on the cold cot in the corner, unconscious. And getting back to the company was even worse. 

Because when Lizzie and Gene got to the CP, Catherine was already there, her eyes red and puffy, an indication of what they had suspected. Winters and Nixon were quiet, stone-faced almost. Catherine had told them. It didn't take long for Lizzie's emotions to set off Catherine's and before you knew it the two women were sobbing, holding each other close together, hiding their emotions from the world the best they could. 

The 3 men in the CP, were hardly bothered by the tears of the two women. 

Hazel had seemed untouchable, but now that was the horrid truth, everyone could be touched and sometimes they burned out, like even the brightest star. 


	3. true friendship

" Be grateful for the wound that pushes you towards God."

\- Unknown

✰✰✰

Hazel shifted a bit, and immediately let out a grimace at her side, at the pain that masked her again, but it was centered to that one area now. Hazel went to sit up but suddenly stopped at the feeling of a cot beneath her, and a blanket, an ounce of missed warmth. 

Then there was a hand on her shoulder forcing her to lie back down. Hazel looked over and saw a nurse sitting by her side, in the darkness of the night, her eyes tired, with dark rings around them, looking right at her. 

Hazel's first instinct was to cry. 

Where was she?

" You're awake," the nurse said, turning to grab something from the ground and offer it to her. It was water from a canteen. Hazel laid still as the nurse gently brought it to Hazel's lips for her to sip from. Hazel sat with tired, pained eyes as she let herself swallow the liquid and then stare up at the roof of the medical tent.

" What happened?" Hazel whispered, her voice shaking.

" From the information I gathered from your company medics, they said you took a hit from the mortars and got shrapnel in your side. We removed it and we've sterilized you and cleaned you up." the nurse explained to her as Hazel looked towards her.

" When can I go back to the line?" Hazel asked her and the nurse smiled sadly.

" You're still severely wounded at the moment," the nurse said, " you can't go back to the line anytime soon." Hazel stared at her and her mind spiraled in fear as she then looked around. 

The company. 

What were they thinking? 

She hoped they didn't think she was dead, when she was very much alive and kicking. She thought of Catherine and Lizzie first, almost automatically. 

What were the two of them thinking? She thought of Joe and her heart tore from her chest, as she bit back her lip and shut her eyes. Then she thought of Shifty, George, Tab, Johnny, Lip, everyone. She thought of everyone still there. Her heart ached. 

" It hurts," Hazel whispered softly, meeting the nurse's eyes again. The nurse's warm smile fell.

" You'll need pain meds daily until you start getting better, let me grab those for you." the nurse said slowly standing and hurrying away. Hazel stared at the ceiling, her heart rate picking up. 

Then she heard it, the explosions, racking around in her brain and she squeezed her eyes shut. It was like a move scene playing out. She could envision the mortars going off around her, the way the trees exploded, caught in the crossfire of the shellings tour branches limb from limb. She remember the feeling of the shrapnel lodging into her side and her eyes shot open like a bullet. She was breathing heavy, her heart racing, her side aching. 

" Here you are," the nurse said as she slowly sat down on the stool that was pulled up to Hazel's side. Hazel attempted to sit her weak body up, but she groaned and ended up falling back against the rough cot, a grimace leaving her lips. 

" Here," the nurse said placing the medicine on the side table and then standing to slowly raise the sniper into sitting position, enough to take the pill. The pill was gently placed on her tongue and then Hazel took the water, with the slightest bit of difficulty, swallowing it down before letting out a soft groan. 

" That should start working within the hour." the nurse told her. Hazel's face scrunched up in pain and she nodded, as her hand immediately went to the wound, in pain. She slowly let herself lie down again on the cot, and let out a shaky sigh. 

" What's your name?" Hazel asked her. The nurse smiled.

" Amelia Beckett." the nurse said smiling at Hazel, " I have to get an IV set up on you." Hazel watched Amelia, pull over the IV, attached to what Hazel assumed was either blood and water or water and something else. Amelia pulled up Hazel's sleeve, and then cleaned the small indent of her elbow. 

" There will be a slight prick." she said and then slowly slid it in. She attached a few pieces of surgical tap around the IV before knocking against the bags of water and blood and nodding in accomplishment. 

Amelia was fairly tall Hazel thought, and she held a certain grace yet passion about herself, as she flicked the bag of water again. Just like waking up, Hazel could tell Amelia was stressed, the lines that seemed permanent against her facial features, were marks of fear and strain that the war provided daily, even away from the front lines. But Hazel liked her hair, it was almost a ginger color, but you could tell it was still a soft blonde, the ginger an underlying tone and she had bright green eyes, and a gentle smile. 

" How did you end up in the Nurses' Corps?" Hazel asked Amelia. Amelia glanced towards her, with one final flick on the bag of water and then slowly sat down on the stool. Amelia laced her fingers together, leaning against her knees. 

" I decided I wanted to do what I could and help people, help men who got hit on the front lines and make sure they knew that once they were in my care that I'd make sure they got home safely or that they got back to the frontlines safely." Amelia explained, " It's just something I've always believed in, that if you can't do anything, go and help someone." Hazel felt a tiny smile on her lips and she nodded. 

" Then I heard about the Viragos actually, Operation Virago and it was really inspiring." Amelia said, nodding, and smiling, " A bunch of us signed up, but there were only a few from our group that got accepted. You women have been inspirational to all of us that couldn't participate in it." Hazel, despite the pain in her side, smiled. A genuine smile. 

" We vowed not to tell a soul, because we want it to succeed, we want this to be the opening to allowing women into wars. Into allowing men and women to fight together side by side. We've always believed in that." Amelia said and a smirk crawled onto her face, " We figured, hell, if we got the right to vote in 1920, then what's next for us? Equal pay?" Hazel laughed lightly, but stopped as her stomach clenched and her hand shot towards it in seconds. Amelia looked at her sadly and then looked at the bandage.

" Sorry about that," she said, " humors been the only thing to help us through in here, and even then it's pretty rare, especially with how this has all been going."

" I appreciate it when it does show." Hazel said with a small nod. Amelia smiled.

" Where were you before the Viragos?" Amelia asked her. 

" The WAC," Hazel said with a nod, " and then when that was sent out, I just knew I had to sign up. My mom always told me that I could do anything, no matter what was said, what was expected. You can always go above and beyond, and you can always do more than you initially think." Amelia smiled.

" Your mom sounds like a nice person," Amelia said and Hazel grinned. 

" I miss her," Hazel said softly, " but she's doing okay, since my last letter, I just can't imagine when I finally tell her about this." Hazel said and Amelia gave a small smile. 

" She's your mom, she'll always worry no matter what." Amelia said and Hazel smiled with a nod. 

" What was Camp Athene like?" Amelia asked, " We heard it was real top secret, 15 weeks of training, no off base during that time, you couldn't even get out to bars and stuff." Hazel nodded.

" 15 weeks straight of training, especially on the weekdays, and the weekends were filled with classes for 8 hours a day. You never really had breaks," Hazel said, " but it's how we got where we did. I think if we didn't have the type of training provided, we wouldn't have made it where we did." 

" Were the guys....receptive of it?" Amelia asked, " I don't know how to word it." Hazel smiled softly, remembering the day fondly, back in Aldbourne.

" I'd say they were, a bit surprised, but receptive. Now they're like my family." Hazel said and Amelia smiled gently. 

" Tell me you were doing something badass that made their eyes shoot out of their heads." Amelia said. Hazel smirked. 

" I had special training in England for my position as sniper and I was doing practice shots on a target and that's when our Lieutenants and NCOs showed up. They thought I was a boy at first. It was pretty funny to see their reactions." Hazel said with a slight laugh, she remembered that moment so vividly. That moment had been before the horror of war, before the tragedy of it all had pierced their hearts. 

" That's great," Amelia said, " I bet you showed them up." Hazel laughed lightly, her side squeezing again a bit and she groaned slightly before adjusting. 

" Sure did." Hazel said with a small smile. 

" 2 of your medics delivered you and one of them was a girl, is she another Virago?" Amelia asked. Hazel smiled at the mere mention of the two medics. 

" Eugene Roe and Lizzie Elliot, yes," Hazel said nodding, " Lizzie was the 3rd Virago of the company. We have a Lieutenant, Catherine McCown who runs between our Battalion and our company, mostly working with the NCOs to lead where she can. They're two of the strongest women I know." Amelia smiled.

" It seemed you all had a real bond, she looked distraught, I felt horrible." Amelia said, " Just seeing the looks the medics have on their faces when they come in especially, I always feel so bad." Hazel's heart dropped into a pit in her chest and she let out a shaky sigh. 

" They're my brothers and sisters." Hazel said softly, her heart suddenly having a dull ache deep set in it, " They were the best thing to happen to me even in the middle of all this war." Amelia felt her heart swell smiling at the woman. 

That was true friendship and love. 

True bonds. 

" Everything I did with them, even the saddest moments I've ever experienced, was with them and I have no regrets, just because they were there." Hazel said, and she felt tears well in her eyes. Amelia gently leaned forward and placed a hand on Hazel's shoulder and rubbed it. Hazel looked at her with tear filled eyes. She already missed each and every one of them. 

" My best friend," Hazel said, wiping at her eyes with a slight grimace as she moved her arm slowly, " I can't even imagine what he might be thinking." Amelia smiled.

" Tell me about him. Tell me about all of them." Amelia said. Hazel watched her.

" Really?" Hazel asked her.

" I have time." Amelia said with a small smirk. Hazel felt a smile fall onto her lips. 

" Joe Liebgott, he's one of my best friends." Hazel said and Amelia smiled, " Even when I first met him back in England, we just bonded so easily. And he's completely different from me, you would've never thought." Amelia smiled softly at her.

" But he was always looking out for me, and he's always there, even when I was sick, and he just, he was just the best friend you would've never seen coming." Hazel said, smiling softly, as her thoughts went to the bracelet he wore on his wrist still, " Of course, he teased me relentlessly, but I wouldn't expect any less." And Amelia laughed lightly with a nod, a smile on her lips. 

" And then there's George Luz, he's one of the funniest people I've ever met," Hazel said softly with a sad smile, " but he knew when you were upset, it was like some magic ability he had within him. He knows when you're sad or upset, everything." 

" And Shifty," Hazel said her heart giving a sad ache, " Shifty Powers, his name's Darrell, but we all call him Shifty." Amelia looked at her with a raised brow.

" He's quick on his feet," Hazel said watching Amelia smile, " we've been foxhole partners for a while, and he's like my counterpart for sharpshooting, he just, he gets me, we get each other." 

" Floyd Talbert," Hazel said with a slight laugh, " biggest flirt there was, but also one of the most caring people I've ever met. He took care of a dog in Holland and called him Trigger, it was adorable." 

" Then you have Donald Malarkey," Hazel said, her heart dropping, she wouldn't dare mention how he lost his 5 best friends, " the sweetest ginger you'll ever meet besides our Captain and one of our other members Babe Heffron." Amelia smiled softly.

" Gingers are the best." she said and Hazel grinned with a small laugh. 

" He went through a lot, but he still is so strong, I've always admired him," Hazel said, " And Babe, he's lost a few friends, close ones, but he still manages to put a smile on my face. He's always there too, he made sure Lizzie survived when a tree fell on a foxhole in one of those shellings." Hazel smiled fondly. 

" And our Captain, his name's Richard Winters and he's one of the most respectful people, kind and caring yet he's one of the best leaders we've ever had," Hazel said, " and I can't forget about Lip, Sergeant Lipton, sorry, he's our First Sergeant, but more of a CO than anyone." Amelia smiled gently.

" It sounds like these boys treat you ladies well," Amelia said with a warm smile. Hazel felt her eyes well with tears as she nodded and bit back her lip.

" It's why I miss them so much," Hazel said as Amelia gave her a soft smile. Amelia gently touched Hazel's shoulder. 

" I'll give you a minute, breakfast is soon." Amelia said, " And I'm sure you'll want something in your stomach." Hazel nodded. Amelia gave a blissful smile before slowly standing and tucking the stool in beside her cot. Hazel watched Amelia go, before slowly lying back against the bed and once again staring at the ceiling that lie overtop of the cot she lie in. She let out a shaky breath. 

Hazel remember when her, Catherine and Lizzie had all been in London together back in March 1943. She remembered the smiles on their faces, the way their eyes lit up like Christmas trees, as those dashing young British soldiers offered them drinks at the nearby pubs. She remembered running through the streets along the river to see Big Ben. 

Hazel remembered her and Joe, in Paris, slowly dancing to the soft Christmas music that filled their ears. The soft hum of his heart in her ear as he held her so close and so comfortably. Hazel had never felt she trusted Joe more than in that moment to lead her in even just the swaying motions of dancing.

Hazel remembered when her and George had sat on the bed together, without having to say a word to each other, in the quiet of the barrack in Mourmelon. 

Or the time when her and Shifty had talked about home in the OP in the Ardennes; Shifty had looked so at ease. 

Or the time when Johnny taught her darts, or when Bill lead them through the tiny town of Aldbourne and Joe Toye had scared the life out of a few civilians. Hazel giggled a bit at the memory. 

She thought of Winters showing up on Christmas Day with chocolate and a warm regard for the holiday in the home of the Burnett's. 

Grace and Harry, the two people Hazel adored and missed so much. 

Hazel remembered her and Perconte putting a betting game on George and Catherine as the two participated in a drinking game and then they walked home after, laughing, almost in tears. 

She remembered her and Tab on the night patrol back on the outskirts of Carentan where they found Harry Welsh drunk as a skunk, going off about Kitty Grogan the love of his life. It was adorable. 

Hazel remembered the times her and Bull would practice leading small squads of people with Skinny cursing up a storm behind them in the rainstorms, and finding it to be some of the funniest memories Hazel would ever hold. 

Hazel remembered praying with Gene, praying for everyone's safety, especially Catherine's. 

She remembered Skip and Penkala and Malarkey and the meals she shared with them, the funniest conversations she felt she'd ever have. 

Or even the moment where she broke in front of Lip and he'd held her tightly and so securely in his arms. 

She remembered meeting Babe, sitting there with Chuck as they all talked and the two Philly men strode up with big grins on their faces. 

A small tear leaked out of Hazel's eye, trailing down the side of her face. Hazel hoped they'd be okay, that when they finally did attack Foy, that they realized that Hazel had every ounce of hope, support and love in her heart that they'd do good, that whatever they'd go through, they'd be one step closer to ending this war. Hazel smiled softly to herself as she sucked in a shaky breath. 

She'd be okay, they all would.


	4. foy

" Every river leads to the ocean. Stars do burn out. So yes, everything ends, But do you want to know a secret? Everything - and I mean everything - **begins again**."

_\- Erin Van Vuren_

✰✰✰

" Joe." 

" Joe."

" Joe." George called out towards Joe Liebgott who sat on the edge of his foxhole laughing beside Alley. Joe slowly turned to George.

" Hey, Luz." Joe called as Alley smiled widely, " What's up?" George's gate slowed as he gently stepped in front of George and knelt down by his side in the snow.

" Can I talk to you for a second?" George said and Joe's gaze turned from playful to serious.

" What's going on?" Joe said, watching pain and conflict flip through George's eyes like a novel.

" George what's going on?"

" Just, please, can we talk?" George said softly. Joe glanced back at Alley, before taking George's extended hand and letting him help him up to his feet. George and Joe walked side by side through the snow, as Joe's mind turned to absolute crumbles. 

What was going on? 

George's hand stopped him from his confused walk forward. Joe slowly turned to George in the darkness of the morning.

" What is going on?" Joe said, his voice strained, his eyes searching George's for answers. 

" Joe, she...she.." George stopped and for the first time in months, Joe heard George's voice crack. Joe's heart cracked it felt.

" Who?!" Joe yelled, hands on George's shoulders. George looked up at Joe's eyes.

" Hazel." George whispered softly, " She got wounded." 

Joe's world stopped, his entire world fell to his feet, his arms went slack, his body went into withdrawal.

" Hazel?" Joe whispered softly. George nodded, gently placing a hand on Joe's shoulder. Joe felt anger boiling up inside him. Those Krauts had done it to her, they were the reasons he was injured, in a field hospital, all alone. When George met Joe's eyes again, George saw angry tears in Joe's eyes, ones he tried to conceal. 

" Did she go to a field hospital?" Joe managed to say, biting back his tears, blinking as many times as he could to stop them.

" Yeah, Gene and Lizzie took her there." George said softly. Joe nodded, placing his hands on his hips, as he stared angrily in the snow. He sniffled, wiping at his eyes before looking away from George back into the filled in trees of the Ardennes. 

Joe had never felt the pain he felt in that moment, just the want to completely break down, fall to his knees and cry out. 

But she was wounded, she wasn't dead like so many other Easy Company members. 

She was alive. 

And if Hazel were here now, Joe knew she wouldn't want to see him crying for her. 

When Joe met George's eyes again, George gave a slight smile.

" She'll be back, she's got to." George said and Joe nodded, a forced smile quirking up at the corner of his lip. Joe looked off, thinking of a few days ago when Hazel was telling him about the stars like she always did; she had never looked more excited just talking about something she loves. 

And the way her eyes lit up, they were glowing even in this harsh wasteland, they were like embers, burning so bright under the night sky. Joe glanced back at George.

" C'mere buddy," George said, gently stepping forward and wrapping Joe in a warm hug. Joe gently hugged George back and shut his eyes. 

" I miss her," Joe whispered softly, only so George could hear.

" I know you do." George said back as Joe sucked in a shaky breath. Everything was going to be okay, but it didn't stop the dull pain in his heart, when he thought of her face, how innocent and pure it was, and how fast that was ripped from them. 

Joe let a tear roll down his cheek as he let his eyes close. 

Staying strong was the only was to get through out here, though. 

Hazel's injury was just adding onto the fact they were in the cold, in a war, and people were dying or getting injured left and right. 

Joe felt his heart cry that morning. 

Joe Liebgott had cleared up that morning, into the angry, hot-headed self, pissed that the Germans had gotten Hazel, an innocent, pure woman who didn't deserve any of that pain, wounded. 

But he had been angry for a while; seeing Bill and Joe, hearing about their injuries, hearing Skip and Penkala were gone, had struck a nerve in him. Everyone they had lost, had hurt Joe, Hazel was just someone who kept his pain at bay, kept his anger tame, the lion that pawed at his heart, under control. But now Hazel was gone, and he finally felt all the pain catching up to him and he hated it. 

The way he felt.

Everything about it. Because he would do anything for Hazel and now here he was. 

That morning was dreary, worse than any of the others. Not to mention it was the day before the assault on Foy, but after all the losses, that Easy was still reeling from, they had to combat the fact that Dike would be their leader in combat. And there was supposed to be a sense of patriotism, that they'd finally be making the assault on Foy after watching it over for a month, but no one was merely enthused by it. The losses had taken a toll and Hazel was the last straw. 

Catherine watched Joe sit alone at breakfast, ignoring Chuck and Alley and Tab, sitting on a log away from everyone, angrily eating the food he had. Hazel's injury was eating away at him, Catherine could tell it was. 

Hazel was Joe's rock, and everyone knew it. He had a smile just for her, and he smiled more around her; he was happier by her side. They had inside jokes, they stargazed, they talked about some of the deepest things together. They were total opposites who understood each bit of each other. And now, Hazel wasn't there and Joe still was. And it hurt Joe too much to be able to begin to comprehend it all. 

Catherine forced herself to swallow any emotion she felt however because she knew if she didn't then as a Lieutenant, there would be a break in the company, and while assaulting Foy that was the last thing they needed. 

Malarkey had been there for her that early morning, as she had, to her regret, sobbed into his arms, when that was the last thing he needed. But Hazel was like a sister, she was her sister, and it hurt. It hurt too much. But Catherine had been there for Malarkey, sitting by his side, as the man held her hand tightly, without having to say a word, just needing a friend there.

So, Catherine went around that day making sure each man was ok, sitting with them if they needed to talk, taking in whatever pain they bore to her, letting them know it'd be ok, everything would be alright. 

Her emotions were important, but making sure everyone else was okay was important, especially after what had happened. She was a human, but she was a Lieutenant about to lead a group of soldiers into battle with an incompetent CO. She had to try her best. She sat with Lizzie for a while on the side of her foxhole, talking, letting Lizzie get whatever she had deep inside her out. And it had helped. 

Even if Catherine bore all the pain of the people around here, she didn't care; if they were better able to fight this stupid war than she'd take it all in, from everyone. 

The night before the assault, Easy was a bundle of nerves, mostly because of their incompetent CO, Lieutenant Dike. Catherine had spent that night at dinner, praying. Her family was not heavily religious, but she did it for Hazel's sake, for Bill and Joe and Buck and Hoobler and Skip and Penkala and for the assault of Foy. If they didn't pray, if Catherine didn't, with all that pain she held, she didn't know how she could live with herself. Hazel would want them all to continue, even without her. 

That's something she would say. 

She would've prayed as well. 

Catherine began to focus on her duties as a Lieutenant heading into the assault. Lip would be leading 2nd Platoon, and after the loss of Bill, Joe, Skip, and Penkala, and Hazel many people were thinking that after this, Chuck would be moving up to lead 2nd platoon. Catherine believed that as well. Catherine did her rounds like that as usual, filling in for Lip. He was going to Winters to let him know about Dike and the worry that surrounded the company because of it. Catherine made sure to visit Lizzie again, as per usual. 

And she even went to visit Joe, who had refused to talk to anyone really. Catherine approached his foxhole he shared with Alley who was on OP duty. Joe was sitting his foxhole, holding something tiny in his hands. It was the tiny bracelet from Mrs. Burnett that Hazel loved so much. Joe was holding it so gently in his hands, rubbing his fingers over it, eyes seemingly memorizing it. Catherine didn't know that Hazel had even given it to Joe.

" Hey, Joe." Catherine said and she watched Joe look up towards her with tear filled eyes. Catherine had never seen Joe cry, nor really any of the men. As Toccoa veterans they were tough, the women knew that, but hearing about Hazel had clearly struck a bone in Joe Liebgott's system. 

" Hey, Mack." Joe said as he shoved Hazel's bracelet into his pocket and wiped at his eyes, sitting back and looking away. Catherine bit her lip.

" I know you're upset, Joe. About Hazel." Catherine said as she crouched beside the foxhole. Joe was quiet. 

" Do you want to talk about her?" Catherine asked him, slowly sitting on the edge of his foxhole, " I know she's your best friend." Joe sniffled at that mention.

" Tell me what your fondest memory of her is," Catherine said, as she glanced towards him. 

" Paris." Joe whispered. Hazel had never said much about Paris except that she had some of the most fun there, especially with Joe. It was like their own little thing.

" What was Paris like?" Catherine asked Joe. 

" I had never felt happier, Mack." Joe said softly, " You know, she's...it's Hazel. Who can't be happy around her?" Joe sniffled again. Catherine watched Joe sigh, shaking his head.

" You know I danced with her, the first time she'd danced in a while." Joe said, " She's really good at it." 

" And she smiled." Joe said, as Catherine watched him wipe his eyes, " She has a beautiful smile." Catherine smiled, her heart ached.

" Hearing...hearing she got hit," Joe said, biting back his trembling lip, " I hate the way I feel."

" But she's ok," Catherine said and Joe looked up at her with raw, pained eyes, " Gene and Lizzie know so." Joe looked down at his hands and sniffled, and nodded. He looked down again and reached into his pocket and pulled out the tiny bracelet.

" This was hers." Joe said, as he wiped his eyes again. 

" It's beautiful." Catherine said.

" Yeah," Joe said, and she smiled a bit, " it is." 

" She'd be upset if she knew she was in a field hospital and not here with us." Catherine said.

" It's why I'm gonna fucking destroy those fucking Krauts tomorrow, Mack. They're the reason Hazel's hurt." Joe said, a bit of anger in his tone. 

" Use that anger tomorrow." Catherine said softly him as Joe looked towards her, " Show those assholes what true anger is, what pain is." Joe looked up at her and smiled a bit.

" Yes, ma'am." he said with a nod. 

" Try and get some sleep." Catherine said as she slowly stood up and brushed off her pants a bit, before pointing to the bracelet, " Keep that safe." Joe nodded. Catherine left Joe behind, feeling better herself, just hearing him talk about her, from her best friend. 

The next morning, it was the morning of the assault and everyone was on edge. Catherine would be in the attack. Winters had told Lizzie she could stay back, she was severely sick, but she told him that she'd rather fight, than hang back and have people die. 

So Lizzie would be moving with Dike and George, but it was only because Dike said if he went down he wanted to be worked on immediately. 

_Selfish bitch._

At the moment, Catherine would be 2nd in Command to Lip for 2nd Platoon. Lip had come to her late last night, asking if she could join him. She had of course said yes. When Easy Company moved out into the open, the firing had already started.

" Covering fire!"

" Let's go! Keep it moving!" Lip yelled to the group of men and women that ran across the field. As Easy Company ran forward towards the town of Foy, machine guns began opening up around them. Catherine was a little behind Lip, making sure that men were moving across the field, when a man fell to her feet in front of her, causing the girl to trip and plummet to the ground. She let out a groan.

" Keep moving!" she called to the men that ran past, shoving up from the guy, and positioning him behind the hay barrel nearby for protection until a medic could get to him.

" Let's go! Let's go!" Lip began yelling as Catherine caught up to him, as bullets whizzed past their heads, sizzling and smoking as they did so. 

Lizzie was moving back near Dike and George. Lizzie's ears were ringing from each little explosion that went off, but she wasn't surprised, they always did that.

" Keep 'em tight, Shames!" Dike yelled, as a tank shot with full force blowing up near a group of guys to their left. Lizzie grumbled to herself as she followed closely behind George, her weapon out in her arms. The artilley kept shooting towards them, blowing up tiny huts on the outskirts, causing debris and shrapnel and snow to explode into the sky and overtop of Easy Company men.

" Keep moving!" Lip yelled to the group as Catherine pushed a guy forward as an explosion rattled off from where he had almost remained standing. 

" Wait a minute, wait a minute, where's Foley?" Dike began calling out, stopping in open fire, as Lizzie looked at George crouched to the ground. Lizzie looked over, Foley was right where he should be. 

" Where the hell is 1st platoon?" Dike yelled, slamming into Lizzie with such force that propelled her to the ground in Dike's freak out. Lizzie grumbled to herself as she pushed up from the snow and George looked as Dike raised a hand to his mouth.

" Hold up!" Dike yelled, and Lizzie narrowed her eyes.

" Keep moving!" Lizzie heard Lip and Catherine yelling.

" Easy Company, hold up!" Dike yelled and crouched to the ground as Lizzie and George squatted beside him. 

" What the hell?" muttered Lizzie as George looked at Dike, agitated.

" Bull shit." George muttered. 

" 2nd platoon, hold up!" Lizzie heard Lip yell, signaling for the platoon to stop moving. She watched as Catherine did the same, following Lip's orders before hurrying over to Lip and crouching by his side. She could see Catherine's anger from here.

" Will you move!" Winters yelled as he stood from where he crouched next to Sink.

" Get me Foley on the radio." Dike told George.

" Get out of there, move!" Winters yelled again.

" Sir, I think we should take cover." George told Dike. 

" Find some cover!" Lip began yelling, as Catherine bounced back and against a bail of hay. More explosions were still blowing up dirt and snow in front of them and getting closer to the sitting company who wasn't moving.

" What?" Dike yelled at George, as an explosion went off behind them and Lizzie crouched down the ground, as the impact hit her. The explosions were going off and taking out men at the same time. Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut, they were in the open, they'd be killed. 

" Easy Red, Easy, Easy Red..." George began calling into his radio. Lizzie forced herself up to her feet as they collapsed against a bail of hay, breathing heavy at the same time. George was in front of her, yelling into his radio as Dike was next to her, not even focused on what was going on. Dike grabbed George's phone on his radio from his hands.

" Foley, Foley, you get back...here where I can see you, goddammit!" Dike yelled. Lizzie's eyes widened. What was going on?

" Fall back!" Dike began yelling, as Lizzie's anger nearly boiled over. She looked at George flames in her eyes, and she had to bit back her lip as to not say a word. But George looked equally as pissed.

" Lip!" Catherine called as she collapsed by his side and he made sure she crouched standing up again next to him.

" The fuck's going on?" she asked him.

" I have no clue." he said looking toward where Dike would be. 

" Go forward!" Winters yelled again.

" Stay on my ass!" Lip yelled, tapping a private and Catherine, " Hold fast, 2nd platoon!" Lizzie looked up as Lip came crashing into Dike's side and Catherine followed, eyes filled with overflowing anger. 

" What are we doing, Lieutenant?" someone yelled.

" Why are we stopped?" spat Lip at Dike.

" Fall back! Fall back!" Dike continued yelling and Lizzie held herself back from smacking him. Lip grabbed his shoulder and yanked him his way. Just then Shames and Foley appeared, and Gene came crashing in next to them, already worn out yet looking extremely confused. 

" Lieutenant, what's the plan?" Foley yelled as he came in next to George.

" I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" Dike began yelling. Lizzie's eyes narrowed. 

" You'd better get Dike on the radio to me now." Winters snapped through the radio to George. From Lizzie's position, she didn't have a clue what was going on, as the group huddled around a hay bail and the company lay spread so thinly out along the perimeter of the town. She was confused. 

This wasn't the plan.

" Lieutenant, what's the plan!" Foley yelled.

" Captain Winters, sir." George said shoving the radio in Dike's face.

" What's the plan?" Shames shouted. 

" Okay, okay, Foley," Dike said as Lip gripped his by the shoulder, as Catherine glared down at him, snow falling in her eyes, like sparks.

" Foley, you take your men, you take your men on a flanking mission around the village, and attack it from the rear." Dike snapped, as an explosion set off near the group. 

" Dike, we cannot stay here!" Lip yelled in his face, " You understand that?"

" You want 1st platoon to go 'round and attack the village, by itself?" Foley yelled, utterly confused. 

" We will provide suppressing fire." Dike yelled.

" We're gonna be kind of alone out there, Lieutenant." Foley yelled at him. 

" We will provide suppressing fire!" Dike yelled again. Catherine was ready to pounce on him. Catherine watched eyes filled with fear as Foley let out a breath and shot up and back. He disappeared. It was a bad idea.

" Sir, there is a machine gun in the church and a sniper out there. You send that platoon on a round about, they'll be slaughtered!" Catherine yelled, as Dike stared glossy eyed at her. No response. 

" Get going forward!" Winters yelled.

" You need to talk to Captain Winters, sir." pleaded George with Dike. Dike was in slow motion it seemed, his mind not registering things, his eyes flitting everywhere. He wasn't mentally here. He never was. An explosion rocketed off nearby, as Dike remained unresponsive. Lip took initiative. 

" Suppressing fire, now!" Lip yelled. George continued pleading with Dike to answer the radio to Winters, whose voice sounded angry from where Lizzie sat. 

" Forget him!" yelled Catherine and moved around pulling George to her side.

" Radio Foley!" she told him and George dialed in. 

" We lost 5!" Foley yelled through as Catherine held the phone to her ear, " Can you locate?"

" Lip! Locate!" she called to him, handing the radio to George as Winters switched onto the radio.

" The building with the caved-in roof." Lip called.

" The building with the caved-in roof!" George began yelling through the radio. Lip cursed to himself, jumping up and swinging back and turning and slamming into Dike's side. 

" Sir, we are sitting ducks here. We have to keep moving!" Lip yelled in Dike's ear.

" You've got to keep moving!" Winters suddenly yelled, wiping around his rifle from his shoulder and running forward.

" Dick! Captain Winters." Sink yelled.

" Godammit, you do not go out there." Sink yelled at him. Winters looked back at the group and began marching angrily back towards them.

" You're the battalion commander, now get back here!" Sink yelled at him.

" Now Dick I understand your attachment to Easy C-"

" Speirs, get yourself over here!" Winters yelled, his voice echoing over the group. The group watched Speirs jump up, like a god almost and begin hurrying over to Winters.

" Get out there and relieve Dike and take that attack on in." Winters yelled at the man. Without hesitation, Speirs turned and went charging towards Easy, to save their asses. 

Catherine blinked a bit, not sure if she was hallucinating or not. A bomb exploded from a tank, pushing up dirt from the ground and jumping through was non other than Ronald Speirs. 

Lizzie felt a body blast past her and looked behind her and saw Ronald Speirs slam into Dike, grasping his collar and looking at the dazed CO.

" I'm taking over." Speirs said to him quickly. Even his voice sounded authoritative. 

" 1st Sergeant Lipton!" Speirs yelled.

" Here!" Lip yelled and Lizzie watched as Speirs moved quickly towards Lip.

" What have we got?" Speirs asked the man.

" Sir, most of the company is spread out here. 1st platoon tried an edn around but they're stretched out, they're pinned down by a sniper." Lip explained, leaning over Catherine and George to point to the roof.

" I believe he's in the building with the caved-in roof." Lip said pointing to it where shots came from.

" Alright, I want mortars and grenade launchers on that building 'till it's gone. When it's gone, I want 1st to go straight in, forget going around, everybody else, follow me." Speirs told him. 

" Yes, sir." Lip answered. Catherine watched in relief as Speirs raced forward, confident in his motives.

" Lieutenant McCown, I want 2nd Platoon on the CO!" Lip called to her, as Catherine nodded to him and took off. That's when the mortar group started firing. 

" On your feet, 2nd platoon!" Lip called as George and Lizzie followed Lip. Lizzie began racing after Lip and George, her tiny feet carrying her over the snow. Lip began yanking people up from where they hid behind barriers and such, as the group continued racing forward. Lizzie watched Speirs a bit in front of her, his head whip around to look at the explosion flow up the nearby shed, but he kept racing forward, even faster. 

Lip continued calling out to people to keep moving, as well as Catherine who seemed to be a force to be reckoned with as she connected with 1st platoon. Lizzie raced forward after Luz, and collapsed next to him where he was with Speirs and now Lip as well.

" Lipton?" Speirs asked the man as he looked over his shoulder. Something hit Lip as George began yelling into his radio.

" What do you see, Lipton?" Speirs asked as Lip blinked a few times and glanced back.

" Armor and infantry, a lot of infantry." Lip said.

" I Company's supposed to be on the other side of the town!" Speirs called, " D'you see any sign of them?"

" No, sir." Lip called. 

" Radio anything?" Speirs asked, moving next to George.

" Sir, I think they're gonna pull back. If we don't connect with I, they're gonna slip away." Lip said.

" That's right, wait here." Speirs called, before patting Lip's leg and shooting up like a bullet from his spot. Lizzie watched as Speirs jumped over her and then went running forward, towards the Germans.

" What the hell?" muttered George from his radio watching with Lip and Lizzie. Lizzie watched from her position as Speirs raced forward, running through the smoke and Germans, his feet carrying him through, like he almost was invisible. 

At first the Germans didn't shoot at him. 

It was like they couldn't believe a man like Speirs was racing through their side of the battle. Lizzie watched as Speirs threw himself over the concrete ledge. 

And they waited. 

They assumed he hoked up with I Company, because the astounding thing was, that after he had hooked up with I Company, he came back. 

Lizzie watched with wide eyes, as shots were fired at Speirs as they missed him. Lizzie watched as Speirs began sprinting back towards them, his legs moving quickly. 

He looked like a leader, unfazed by it all, racing towards glory and victory. 

Lizzie had to smile. She hadn't smiled in a bit anyway. Lizzie looked up at George and Lip with wide, happy eyes. Speirs was the leader they needed. 

In the end, they took over 100 German prisoners. Then it was time to clean everything up. People were singing, the atmosphere was light and everybody felt calm for once, because they had finally taken Foy, the town they had watched for too long. Then a single shot rang out, and another followed, and the joyful singing the group heard silenced.

" Sniper!" someone yelled, and Lizzie felt someone pull her backwards. Lizzie slammed against the concrete building next to Shifty as Lip moved in next to him, breathing heavy. The sniper continued taking shots at them, as Lip rushed another person behind. If only Hazel were here; but they had Shifty.

" Where is he?" Popeye called. Lip peered around the corner.

" Shit, I can't see him." Lip said to Shifty. Lip peered over the corner again and then shot back again. 

" Second floor, building on the right." Lip said.

" Don't miss, Shifty." Lip told him and Shifty nodded. 

" Now!" Lip called and took off running across in the open. That's when Shifty popped out on the side and aimed his gun. The sniper took shots at Lip and her heart shook with each one praying Lip wasn't hit. The next shot came from Shifty's weapon and the sniper was silenced. 

Cheering rose up and Lizzie let out a shaky breath filled with relief. She sighed to herself. She peered around and saw Lip against the wall, he put his hand up, he was ok. 

They'd been looking down at Foy for so long that it was finally a relief to have made the assault, even with Speirs coming in as a CO. 

With it over now, everyone was filled with a wonderful new-found relief. 


	5. little bird

" May my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living."

_\- E. E. Cummings_

✰✰✰

Hazel blinked herself awake and pain immediately consumed her entire being again. The nightmare last night hadn't been as bad as the night before, but it was fresh in her mind. She hated that it was that fresh in her mind. Hazel grimaced as she sat up and her hand went to her wound, which had bandage changes every few hours. 

It was a stark reminder of the war and of the horrors that Bastogne held. But today was the day she had been promised a hot shower, an actual hot shower, where the water was warm and there was soap and she could feel some sort of warmth for a moment or two. Hazel looked towards her bedside table and saw water and a pill sitting there. 

Amelia. 

Amelia Beckett had been one of the nurses to really help Hazel these first few days, making sure she ate and drank and remained clean as she could before her shower and that her wound didn't worsen. Hazel slowly pulled her feet over the edge of the bed and let her cold feet touch the ground. A shiver was sent up her spin. She looked towards the bed beside her. 

A man had come in the other day, unconscious, with wounds that looked worse than Hazel's and Hazel learned he had extreme blood loss. His skin was pale and his body was all curled into itself and freezing. He had woken up yesterday, but he barely spoke, barely ate and Hazel had seen Amelia try plenty of times to get him to swallow food but he refused. 

It was like he wished he had died.

Hazel let out a shaky sigh and then reached over and grabbed his cup of water and the pill before taking it quickly. 

_Her hands went to her side, and pulled back only the crimson red blood that flowed from the wound._

Hazel swallowed the pill softly, her eyes staring straight forward, gaze compromised. 

_The blood was bright red - fresh. And it stung. It stung horribly. She remembered the sight through blurry eyes._

Hazel slowly glanced down towards where the wound was and lifted up the soft shirt she had been provided because the ODs were too constricting for the wound. 

_It pulsed, the entire wound and it ached. She remembered getting a paper cut as a kid. She never thought pain could amount to this._

Hazel stared at the bandage that covered her entire chest, wrapped gently around, covering where the wound lay underneath. She gently touched the wound and pulled her hand back quicker than her hand touching a hot pot. 

_Her tears were salty, streaming down her face as if they were to fall into a sea, watering the dark fills of land all over the world._

Hazel's heart raced as she stared at the wound, her breathing rate picking up as a bead of sweat formed along her forehead.

_Her cries were like a baby bird's, calling out to it's mother, pleading for mercy, pleading for aid and help, pleading for its mother to take it safely under it's wings again._

_But she had pushed the baby bird out of the nest for a reason._

Hazel slowly touched the wound again and a shock filled her system at the immediate pain that flowed through her chest and she grimaced at the mere thought of it. 

_The baby bird had needed to fly. Hazel's cries were one with the baby bird except she couldn't fly, she had gotten wounded in the process. Wounded ones died off._

Hazel's shaking hand gently felt around the layer of bandage, her fingertips gently prodding it with ease before she let her trembling hand drop to the side and into the soft covers of the scratchy cot. 

_Hazel remembered how the stars had looked, but that's all she remembered seeing before she passed out, they're twinkle, they're brightness never fading even in the darkness of the night._

_Why had she faded out?_

_Going out like a light?_

Hazel sucked in a shaky breath as her hand softly pressed against the wound again. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head softly. 

_When she'd brought in that breath of gasping air last, what had it been like? To nearly brush a knock on death's door and have him decide you had much more to live for in this cruel world?_

Hazel slowly looked up, sucking in another breath as tears rushed to her eyes. She blinked; she blinked hard, to let the tears escape her clouded features. She told herself to stop crying. Each day since the wound had been marked as a sign of war on her body, she had cried. Cried for the pain she felt on the surface, but for the pain in her mind, her inability to accept it all that she had succumbed to the mere darkness of a surface level wound which she could recover from. That she pitied herself as much as she did when people like Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye had lost their legs. 

_Hazel had laid in the snow, unconscious to the world, but her mind failed to cease as a cat with a yarn ball knocked around her brain, hitting just about every emotional memory that had sparked a reaction in her to suddenly play like a script in front of her._

Hazel glanced towards the nightstand, and gently grasped it. She was determined to stand on her own, move the two legs she had back and forth and move them across the tent to the bathroom on her own. 

_She remembered as a child, attempting to stand and look out over the edge of the mountain her and her mother would hike up and be so scared to even take a wavering step towards the edge. Her knees were like jelly._

_Her knees still felt as if jelly was switched for bones._

Hazel's hands gripped the old wooden and damp nightstand and pushed herself up, her body aching as she did so, a hand pressed against her wound as she squeezed her eyes shut so tightly, praying it would stop hurting once she stood. 

_Her first steps as a baby had been across the rug in front of the fireplace, when they still had their old dog Betsy who had been 16 years old. Hazel never understood as a child why she died, Hazel just thought that she had decided to go off somewhere else and live with all the other dogs._

_Hazel figured she was happier there._

_But that dog had witnessed her first steps._

Hazel slowly felt her trembling hands let go of the nightstand, and tried to move her legs forward, without collapsing. She felt herself swim for a second, all in her head and her hands went to he nightstand immediately. She shut her eyes, to steady herself, to center herself. She was fine. 

_Hazel remembered being too scared to jump from the monkey bars as a child, she was afraid to fall and scrape her knee on the mulch ground or ruin her dress. Her parents had been short on money. The dress was the best she had owned._

Hazel was too scared to let go of the nightstand, which stood in between her bed-bound self and the freedom of something that was given to her freely as a human being. Hazel bit back her lip and whispered a soft prayer to herself. 

_Hazel had been a young girl when she had first started to understand the meaning of the prayers which left her family's lips at dinner. What they meant, they're importance, their importance to herself. She still prayed today._

Hazel's fingertips left the nightstand and she let her shaky legs take a step forward, the dizziness hitting her next. She was getting to that bathroom on her own this time. But when she took the fateful next step, on her injured side, a groan of pain left her being, as she grasped a hand over the wound and fell slightly against the nearby post which held up the foot of the cot. 

_Hazel wasn't one to get involved in many people's lives. She had seen what getting involved in her father's life had done._ _She had watched Maggie Clearwater shove the new girl into a pole and then blame it on one of her friends. Hazel vowed never to shove anyway, even herself against a pole and blame it on another._

Hazel pushed up off the pole and pushed a gently hand on the pole as she let out a trembling breath. Being put in the room where there wasn't a lot of action, had its perks, but it was a struggle, they were all so busy on the other side with people in worse condition than Hazel herself. 

_" You're a little short for a 4th grader aren't you?" Maggie said, snickering behind her hand, which had perfectly manicured nails. " And that dress, as if I'd wear that to a public school." Her little friends laughed around her as Hazel had stood, her hair flying from the tiny braids her mother had put her hand in that day, dirt upon her knee and the ends of the dress, as she had been picking nearby wildflowers that bloomed in the playground area._

Hazel narrowed her eyes, staring at the bathroom symbol, the tiny stall she aimed to move towards today. Hazel groaned again, pushing off from the wooden poll and slowly, ever so slowly put each foot in front of the other, her body getting her closer and closer towards the stall. Hazel had stared back at them. 

_" Oh didn't you forget? She's mute." Maggie said a laugh exploding from her mouth, as Hazel stood at her locker in 9th grade, tears threatening her vision, " I guess Daddy always hoped for one of those, or wait, no he's gone." Hazel had shut her eyes, and the locker and walked off._

Hazel's yearn to take each step one in front of the other, moving towards the stall, became more powerful with each step. She was determined. And Hazel determined was a sight to see. 

_As Hazel presented her project on the stars, in the 11th grade, she could see Maggie laughing in the back of the classroom, with all of her friends, as they pointed. Juliette, her real acquaintance, so much so that Hazel considered her a friend, had told them off after class. Lucas Widener had given her one of his chocolate bars that day after class and had told her to ignore them._

Hazel took step after step forward, forcing herself to take each step and ignore the slowly numbing pain in her lower abdomen and upper leg. As she neared it, she could read the sign clearly, it was all so clear, compared to her last few days of fog that had controlled her. 

_Hazel did ignore Maggie and her group of friends who had decided it was fun to take out their securities on Hazel Parker, the girl who was fatherless. Hazel though, continued on her academics. She knew she'd get nowhere in life wasting her time on them. Her experience with her father had made her stronger, a little quiet and a little more cautious but it was a quiet and strong braveness. People will say words behind your back that they don't have enough courage to say in front of your face._

_Those were true cowards._

_Hazel Parker was not a coward._

Her hand slowly grasped the door hand and she rapped her knuckles against the door. There wasn't a response. She let a soft groan leave her lips, a pained one. Using the bathroom hurt, sitting down was like there was popping inside her abdomen, like the stitches there would burst. 

_She'd gotten her first set of stitches when she had slipped and fell on her chin, almost busting a lip. Maggie had made fun of her for it - but when did Maggie not made fun of someone who was anything but perfect. Hazel told herself no one was perfect, because then were you even human if you were perfect._

_God had created humans with flaws, flaws that made you, you and Hazel lived by that. If you were insecure or angry, that's okay, but God didn't ever hope that a human would take that out on another._

_It was the sad truth._

Hazel had shuffled towards the sink, her legs already hurting from holding her body up. The wound had made enough impact to spread to the top part of her leg, enough to be painful where walking was even a challenge. It was like Hazel couldn't even notice that her hands were brushing against each other scrubbing the pain and despair and anger that had been inside her body for the first days here. 

_Hazel turned and had glanced over her shoulder a she watched Maggie get dumped by her long-time boyfriend Tommy Watkins. Maggie had sat there and cried tears in the hallway and her friends had abandoned her. Hazel had watched from afar, as Maggie moved about, like the quiet girl Hazel had been._

Hazel slowly looked down at her hands in the hot water and watched as blood came seeping into the soapy water. She squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered the feeling, the impact the shrapnel had made, the aching disease that seemed to spread across her entire body, an unsettling grimace that left her lips and the blood that had shown on her fingers. 

_Hazel had approached Maggie._

_She wasn't upset for Maggie's wrongdoings, and Hazel knew that sometimes people who were suffering even worse, just liked to take it out on others because they had no outlet. Maggie's friends had never been her real friends, it's why her anger was taken out on others, she just wanted her fake friends to like her for who she was._

_Hazel knew God hadn't made her perfect, he had made no one perfect, it was the uniqueness of the human being, something that made humans special, all things special, created by God's touch._

_Hazel was quiet, but she wasn't a bad person._

_She was closed-off to many, but she wasn't a bad person._

_H_ _azel was just Hazel._

_And Maggie was just Maggie._

_And in that moment, when Hazel had approached the girl on the floor, tears on her cheeks, mascara running, they had been two humans, recognizing the flaws of human nature of human beings themselves._

_Hazel had helped her stand up and bring her to the nearby bathroom. Hazel had quietly helped Maggie remove her makeup and even apply it back on her face. Without a single word spoken from her lips._ _Maggie had watched Hazel as if she were cowering in fear, like Hazel would start berating her in the public school bathroom._

_An innocent girl, forced to grow up too fast, forced to understand things an 8 year old shouldn't have to understand yet._

Hazel stared at her blue eyes in the mirror, the ones who had watched Maggie cry that day in the bathroom stall, watched her finally break, finally come to terms with herself, finally become a blubbering mess. 

But Hazel had simply helped her, a fellow woman helping another. 

Hazel remembered God's words, of making sure to love your enemies, even if you didn't like them, if you couldn't agree with them, if you couldn't see past their motives. 

Love was more powerful than anything in this dark and grim world. Some would even think it were as forceful as gravity. 

_So Hazel helped Maggie that day and even if the two girls never talked to each other again after that, Hazel had put God's wisdom through herself and into Maggie. Hoping, praying that maybe there'd be some sort of change within her, some sort of humanity driven thing that would cause a switch to flip._

_Hazel saw Maggie the next day, her clothes looking like they had a gentler tone, she wore her hair in loose curls, into the pinned up curls, pressed in that she always wore. And even if her eyes were puffy, and her smiles weren't as genuine, she seemed different a good different._

_Even if Hazel would never utter another word to her, the look the two cast in the hallway that day in school had been one Hazel would remember. It looked to be filled with hope. Not everyone you cared for, you had to stick around with, just sorta like a guardian angel watching from afar._

_Was that who God was to Hazel, continuing to pass his wisdom through her own mind as she stood there with the pulsing wound, delivered by the enemy?_

_The enemy which had taken so much? She was still struggling to fully believe it all, but as she looked back, doing what she did for Maggie had been enough living proof for her._

Hazel quickly shut off the water before turning and stepping outside again. As she walked, she felt her limbs stronger than when she had walked towards the bathroom in the first place. Hazel took each step gently, her feet nimble and poised. 

Hazel limped more like it towards the bed, the small pillow that she laid under her head at night, lying at a sideways angle and the blanket thrown over. It was all so simple but for a wounded soldier, a wounded human being, it meant much more than that. 

It meant a place of healing, but a place of dark, nightmarish memories which consumed them once the eyelids shut for the day after doing their duty. 

_Nightmares were a usual thing for little Hazel as she stayed up, sitting by the window at night, praying to the stars above that whoever had a hold of her mind each night would let her go. She would sit in her nightgown, clutching Mr Snuggles, her bunny that was yellow, close to her chest as innocent tears bubbled in her eyes. She wished it would all stop._

The nightmares of the hit, the impact, the passing out, what the stars had looked like, so bright in the sky, flashed through her brain without second thought as she stood there staring at the cot. 

Hazel sucked in a breath, before releasing a shaky tremor immediately after. Hazel's hand went to her wound, as if she were battling a ferocious beast, protecting something from it, hiding it, holding it there, keeping it safe as she limped towards the cot where she had previously stood up from. 

Hazel gave a glance to the soldier who was curled in the other cot, asleep, with a full meal on his nightstand. Hazel shut her eyes and shook her head before slowly shuffling around to get herself seat. Her hand gently touched the nightstand. 

_Hazel had a quote on the nightstand at her house, a special one her mother would always whisper out in Polish before Hazel would shut her eyes and let the grasp of nightmares begin, her own battles with the demons that were ever-present inside her mind. ' You are stronger than you think you are, wiser than you know you are, and braver than what you make yourself to be.'_

Hazel slowly lowered herself down onto the cot, her feet leaving the ground as her bottom hit the cot. 

And then there she was, sitting alone on the cot, staring forward again, like a little bird, waiting for its mother to tell it, just one more time.

_One more time._


	6. leadership

" The best leaders have a high consideration factor. The really care about their people."

_\- Brian Tracy_

✰✰✰

The night after Foy was secured, Easy thought Mourmelon was their newest destination, but Sink said _one more time_ and they were off to Noville and then to Rachamps for one more time. 

Mourmleon would have to wait. 

But after Rachamps there was complete and utter bliss.

When Lizzie slowly stepped into the convent, all she felt was warmth, a warmth she hadn't felt in so long, and there was a soft glow practically everywhere, lighting up people's faces in a soft hue of orange flames from candles. Lizzie's feet slowly dragged across the wooden floor of the convent as her eyes slowly settled on each man that rested in the convent in the pews. Lizzie looked up towards the roof and the ceiling of the convent, her eyes shining. It was so warm and so welcoming. 

Lizzie softly glanced towards Gene, who sat, adjusting Frank who had gotten a bullet in his butt. Gene slowly turned and met her gaze, and she watched a gentle smile bloom on his face. Lizzie's heart felt warm. 

She had seen Gene struggling out in Bastogne, struggling to cope, to remain oddly enough human, just like them all. Seeing Gene warm and happy made her happy for him - he deserved it. 

Lizzie slowly glanced towards the softly singing choir, before slowly stepping towards Gene. She moved in beside him and she slowly rested her weary body down in the pew next to Gene, letting her sore muscles melt into the seat. Lizzie felt a small smile on her face as the choir singers sang their beautiful song. It was so peaceful, all of it. 

Lizzie really wished Hazel were here now.

To see it all. 

To sit with her friends in the warmth and smile. She wished Hazel could've seen the smile that was on Shifty's face right now, or the soft looks from Joe. Joe had her bracelet out again. Lizzie smiled softly. Lizzie then glanced towards Gene beside her. 

His face was relaxed, his eyes shining from the way the candles that were lit seemed to shine in his eyes, and there was the faint hint of a smile on his lips. It was like he caught her looking as he glanced towards her slowly. Lizzie watched him with a soft look. He looked more relaxed than ever as he sat there. Especially for a medic. 

Lizzie hoped he'd stay this gentle. 

It was a nice change. 

Lizzie smiled a bit wider, before she let her head rest against Gene's shoulder and stay there. His arm slowly wrapped around her shoulders as she let her tired, weary eyes shut. He was so warm, and his godly touch was what Lizzie needed. 

Sometimes human touch was even more important than anything that could be said, Hazel taught her that. 

Catherine stood outside, looking out towards the stars, something she would've expected to do with Hazel right now not just herself. A cigarette hung off of her lip, a gentle stream of smoke flowing from it, keeping her warm.

" Lieutenant," a voice said and Catherine looked over to see it was Lieutenant Speirs, the newly appointed CO. Catherine remembered Hazel saying back in Aldbourne in August, saying that she adored Speirs, just for the way he had approached the war in general. Catherine felt a tug at her heart that Hazel couldn't be here to witness this happen. 

" Hi, sir." she said, pulling out the old and tattered box of cigarettes she carried around and held one out towards the man. She watched Speirs smile under the light glow of the lights that hung at the entrance of the convent. He gently reached forward and took it before placing it on his lip. Catherine brought out the lighter and lit up his smoke for him. She nodded as he took in a drag and then blew out the smoke, it was as if it had turned to ice.

" Thank you," Speirs said and Catherine nodded.

" I should probably be telling you that, sir." she said glancing up towards him, " For what you did for the company." Speirs watched her.

" Our sniper, Hazel Parker, she would've been happy to know it was you who took over." Catherine said, " She thought you were brave, she always said so." Speirs looked out towards the stars and Catherine could see the smile on his face. 

" I heard what happened to her," Speirs said, his voice gentle, " I'm sorry. I know you 3 must've been close." Catherine smiled sadly.

" She was just always there, sir, ya know? She likes my sister." Catherine said and she watched Speirs look at her. 

" Like the Amazons." Speirs said and Catherine grinned. She nodded.

" I guess you can say that, sir." Catherine said. 

" I remember when I first heard about Operation Virago, I was in OCS when the news broke." Speirs told her, " Lot of guys weren't fans of it, I was." Catherine raised a brow.

" Really, sir?" she asked him. Speirs glanced towards her, a smirk on his face.

" Surprised?" Speirs asked her taking another drag of her smoke. Her eyes widened.

" No, no!" Catherine said," Maybe, I don't, we just assumed." 

" It was right of you too, there were a lot of guys who went through certain extremities for it all." Speirs said, " I was sick to my stomach, but I just ignored them, stuck with myself." Catherine watched him.

" I always thought you all were brave, for what you did, risking your lives to be up on the front lines." Speirs said, and smiled at her, " No one would believe, especially coming from me, but I've always thought that." Catherine smiled, never judge a book by its cover. 

" Can I tell you something, sir?" she asked him, glancing towards him in the darkness. Speirs nodded, face dropping into a serious spectrum.

" Out there, in the Ardennes, when Hazel got hit, I...I hit a breaking point and I've been too scared to admit it to any of the guys I really know. Just telling you, and I hope you take no offense sir, but someone I don't know yet completely, I just know you'll listen. Even though I know they will, they just, they've been through too much." Catherine said and Speirs watched her gaze gently with a nod. 

" None taken, Lieutenant." he said and she grinned softly.

" I was just stressed, ya know? I couldn't get answers from Dike and I was trying to keep the NCOs in order and trying to make sure people were okay and I was doing reports daily on the geography, it was just a lot and I guess that hit it off." she said softly. 

" I guess it was more of just needing someone to listen, someone who hasn't experienced the pain you have." Speirs said and Catherine nodded. Maybe you understood some people more than you thought you would.

" Thank you, sir...for listening." she said, taking a smoke drag. Speirs looked at her and nodded, a small smile on his face.

" I have to head up to Battalion, drop off these reports, but you get warm alright?" Speirs told her.

" Yes, sir." she answered a small smile on her face, " You too, sir." Speirs slowly glanced at her. Speirs let out a tiny chuckle as he took one final drag of the burning cigarette on his lip.

" Quite the line there, McCown, smooth if you want to call it that." Speirs said and Catherine smirked proudly.

" Would you rather I stutter?" she said and Speirs chuckled, as he put his helmet on his head.

" I think Winters would grow too concerned for that," Speirs said and Catherine grinned at him a small laugh leaving her lips. 

" Probably would," she said. Speirs smiled before glancing up at the entrance to the convent.

" I'll see you around, Lieutenant, get some rest." he called as he headed out into the snow, through the darkness of Rachamps. Catherine smiled softly before turning and stomping out the cigarette to head inside. 

Once she entered, she felt a warmth, that flowed through her numb body, bringing a reality back to her, one that she had been missing. She sat down alone, she needed to, and stared up at the ceiling where little candles lined against the windows near the top. She watched them glow, their bright lights providing a sense of hope even in this darkening time. 

Suddenly her mind floated to Bill and her heart sank inside her chest. Bill had been the friend she had never imagined being able to get out here, out here with all this chaos. And now he was gone. Tears welled in her eyes as she softly wiped a tear from her cheek, as sniffled softly. 

Catherine bit back her trembling lip just thinking of him. He would've liked to have seen the company like this, so calm, so content, so at peace even after all that wore. It was like his soul was left back in Bastogne. 

And then all the memories rushed back of Joe Toye and Skip and Penkala and Hoobler and Buck. 

Each one of them engraining in her mind as she sat there, with tears in her eyes. 

Catherine shut her eyes and tried to rid the memories from her brain but could only let out a shaky sigh. She wished Hazel could see this. She could imagine her, there next to Liebgott probably telling him about the stars she could see through the stain glass, with a smile, unchanged by war on her face. Her heart fell. Catherine let a tear slip past her cheek as she hastily wiped it away again. She'd let her guard down in Bastogne, horribly and she'd let these men see her at her lowest, her weakest, where she physically couldn't lead like the Lieutenant she was and that hurt. That she couldn't lead them in those moments where they looked to her.

" Can I sit?" a voice asked and Catherine looked up with tear filled eyes to see Winters standing there. Catherine nodded and shifted over in the empty pew to let the Battalion leader slowly sit beside her. He was quiet. Which was odd. Usually he had a purpose when coming up to talk; now he was quiet. Catherine glanced his way.

" Sir?" she asked him. Winters looked at her and offered a smile.

" You doing okay?" he asked her. Catherine averted her eyes, looking down with a sigh and shaking her head.

" I let them down out there," she whispered softly, " the whole time. I let my damn emotions get in the way."

" You care for the men, Catherine," Winters said, " emotions are emotions, I wouldn't get to hung up on it, I mean look where we are." Catherine felt a smile touch her face.

" Right," she said.

" And I mean hey, we got rid of Dike didn't we? Who couldn't be happier about that?" Winters said and Catherine snorted even.

" We did, didn't we?" she said and Winters even had a smirk on his face. Catherine smiled softly.

" Thanks for that," she said, and Winters smiled with a small nod.

" Remember, back in Aldbourne, that conversation we had? About leadership?" she asked him softly, her eyes trailing to his. Winters nodded.

" My perspective hasn't changed much even since jumping into war," she said sadly, folding her hands together, " I thought it would. Leadership is lonely." Catherine met his eyes and Winters gave a small, curt smile before gently leaning forwards on the pew.

" Lonelier than you think, right?" he said looking over at her. Catherine nodded.

" Very much so." she said with a sad smile, " I feel like I did what I could for the men and women, I gave it my all, I just don't think it was enough, we still lost people."

" These men, they know you're a good leader, they all do and they trust you and rally around you, and they know you did what you could you tried your hardest. But people aren't perfect, leader's aren't perfect, they just make the decisions one feels they have to make it the situation that helps them come out at the best possible situation. And you lose men in war, it's inevitable with the modern war." Winters said and Catherine watched him and softly smiled with a nod.

" I just wish I could go back and changes things, the way I did them." she said.

" But look at all this," Winters said, glancing out towards the men, " you wouldn't be here now. You did what you could out there, Catherine, we all did, as leaders. As a leader yourself, you did what you could for these men. That's all they could ask, to give them your all." Catherine softly smiled and nodded.

" And you're not alone, you know, you got Nix, me, Speirs now, Harry when he returns, Lip, all of us," Winters said, " we all lead together in Easy, even if I am Company Commander, I still think of you all." Catherine smiled.

" I know you would." she said, " As a former Sergeant in the company, you never forget the men you trained for war with." Winters smiled and nodded.

" No you don't." he said and Catherine smiled.

" Thank you, Dick, really." she said and Winters smiled.

" Get some rest," Winters said as he slowly stood up and moved out of the pew slowly adjusting his helmet to his head.

" Oh, Dick," she said and he turned to her.

" Are we moving off the line?" she asked him. Winters bit back his lip and then glanced around before stepping towards her.

" We're being moved towards Alsace, but don't tell these guys, let them rest tonight without that worry." he said before leaning back with a tiny smile. Catherine nodded and smiled.

" Good night," she said as she slowly adjusted herself and Winters tipped his hat on his head before turning and stepping out. Catherine chuckled to herself. 

What a dork. 

A funny dork.

Yet a good friend. 

A friend she needed. 

Who understood leadership like she did even months later.

That night, Catherine let her eyes shut and let herself just be, just be in this silence and the warmth. And she let herself sleep, not in a cold foxhole, but in the warm pew, all alone, resting as comfortable as she had in a month. 

When Catherine opened her eyes the following morning, she was warm and well rested. She hadn't felt like this in ages. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eye's and yawned. A bunch of people were still asleep, but Catherine you tell her stomach was rumbling. She figured that she didn't even get up to check on the men. She must've been so exhausted. Catherine yawned and then fully sat up. She could smell breakfast outside, the smell wafting into the church, whenever the door opened, so Catherine slowly moved out of the pew to get some. She walked outside, and immediately sat a bunch of people were awake, well replacements and some officers. 

Speirs was there, talking to Winters, as Lip was talking with a few replacements. Nixon was awake, cracking jokes with the cooks that were nearby it seemed as some laughter rose. Even in the darkest times this group could find some laughter and hope. She spent her morning laughing with Nixon, at jokes he told the chef with his crude humor. 

Catherine felt an ounce of warmth. If Hazel were here, she would have been laughing beside her, listening to each and every word; now, even if she's not, she's still here. 

In the late morning, Easy Company was moved out of Rachamps, leaving the convent behind. Lizzie sat between Malarkey and Lieb, one of the wool caps on her head, on top of her braided hair, across from George, Christenson, Bull and Lip. She felt weary and exhausted, but better knowing that everyone had gotten some much needed rest.

" Hey, look, it's 1st Battalion." George said, and Lizzie turned her head a bit, seeing the soldiers that were walking on either said of them. 

" Hey!" George called out and Lizzie smiled, " Hey!'

" What do you want?" one of the soldiers yelled back to him. 

" Yeah, thanks for crapping in our foxholes, you shitheads." George said.

" hey, it's our pleasure." the soldier from 1st Battalion called back and Lizzie smiled again, a small laugh escaping her lips. 

" Enjoy the walk boys." Bull called out to them. Lizzie smiled and then looked up at the sky, where the sun was shining down on them.

" There they go, Easy Company riding out again." she heard someone call. She smiled, as she looked to the light blue sky and clouds above. There was also hope in darkness, sometimes you just needed to dig further, or search harder for it. 

But it's always there. 

Hazel would've said that, Lizzie thought, she was like the light in the darkness. 

**_" Beyond the wounded and killed, every man at Bastogne suffered. Men unhit by shrapnel or bullets were nevertheless casualties." - Stephen E. Ambrose_ **

**_" I'm not sure that anybody who lived through that one hasn't carried with him, in some hidden ways the scars. Perhaps that is the factor that helps keep Easy men bonded so unusually close together." -Captain Richard Winters_ **


	7. memories

" Every night her thoughts weighed heavily on her soul but every morning she would get up to fight another day, every night she survived."

_\- r.h. sin_

✰✰✰

When Hazel opened her eyes that morning, she saw bright light streaming in through the window Amelia had opened by her bed. Hazel craned her neck toward it and saw sun rays slowly filtering in through the window, reflecting onto the ground. 

It was whimsical. 

Hazel slowly flipped off the covers of the bed and grimacing only slightly, sat up with a groan, holding a hand to her aching chest. The wound pulsed, but every morning it did that until she got some medicine in her system. 

Hazel had been moved to a field hospital in France; one much bigger, much cleaner and much nicer than the one behind the front lines in Belgium, but she the bed still held memories of nightmares and the fears that pulsed through her brain each and every night. The bed wasn't a cot, and the nightstand wasn't damp or old, it was new it seemed. 

Amelia had been moving from field camp to field camp and had traveled with Hazel, making sure she would be alright. Amelia had been there for Hazel in the early days, when the pain had caused hysterical crying fits or the flashbacks became to unbearable to even think on. Hazel took the pill and the water, as if it were normal by now, which it was, and slowly sighed looking towards the silent soldier. 

The silent soldier, she had yet to learn a name, had been lying on that bed for ages by now. She never saw him eat or drink, yet he was still alive, curled into a ball, barely moving under the covers. There were times where Hazel had almost convinced herself to stand up, walk over and try to see if he just wanted to have a normal conversation, but she held herself back, thinking of what might possibly be going through his own mind. 

What would it be if she just walked up and asked him a question? She didn't want to startle him. 

Hazel slowly stood, on shaky legs and slowly walked towards the entrance to the room where an influx of soldiers constantly rotated in and out of. Her and the silent soldier remained the only constants. Some died, some got better and some weren't willing to stay and went AWOL. 

Hazel would've went AWOL a long time ago if it weren't for the fact she could barely brush her teeth by herself. 

Amelia helped her out; she was a good nurse. 

Hazel stepped towards the doorway and pulled back the tiny curtain to see the other side. There was a fine line between Hazel's side and the other side. 

Hazel's side was for men who were taken care of, who were nursing their injuries before going back to the line. 

The other side was for new members coming in, hanging onto life or death, people bleeding out, the screaming the cries. 

_Just the other day, Amelia had rushed from Hazel's side and had to perform surgery on a man she couldn't save._

_" For us medics and doctors, the war's never the frontline you know?" Amelia had said, " It's back here or it's in your mind, it's never focused on the front line. People think it's selfish, to think that way, but they're not the ones that have to watch the light fade from mens' as they realize the last thing they'll see is a medic yelling at them to keep their eyes open or one of those army issued light bulbs becoming to bright for them to look at. No one thinks of it that way, to think there's also a war here." Hazel watched Amelia sadly, as Amelia changed her bandage. Her wound was still fresh and bleed daily but the pain wasn't like it was on the first day of the initial impact. It was better._

_" I don't think it's selfish, Amelia," Hazel said softly with a sad smile, " you're saving mens' lives, lives that wouldn't have been saved if you weren't there. Some people they just don't understand the war like the ones who lived it." Amelia watched Hazel and cracked a tiny smile._

_"_ _I've always thought that but finally be told that, it helps, it helps a lot actually, just to be told, that what I'm fighting for isn't selfish, that wanting to save peoples' lives and think that a bigger was is going on here, it's selfish, it helps." That was when Hazel realized the impact of combat medics, and doctors and nurses and surgeons and people who weren't even on the front lines, battling for people's life, fighting against the very thing, they were against._

_Death._

_They saw so much of it, everyday without fail and yet they showed up with a smile. Hazel remembered seeing Gene and Lizzie, laughing quietly together as they talked at dinner on night back on the 2nd; even after all the death they'd seen, they had each other and knew they could look into each other's eyes and have someone they trusted looking back. It must've been the same way with Amelia._

_" You're a good nurse, Amelia," Hazel said quietly, " people just, they take anger out on others and ideas when they can't find a way to heal themselves." Amelia smiled gently. "_

_People do seem to do that all the time." Amelia said. " Human nature." Hazel said softly and sadly and Amelia nodded._

Hazel saw people being rushed in and out and blood and gore and just a mess on the other side. She slowly shut the curtain, her hand shaking. It was time to shower; she hadn't showered yet, the wound was too much to go around for a shower to even be in the ballpark. 

But Amelia had promised today was the day. 

Hazel slowly picked up her clothes in her arms and turned and went to walk towards the shower. Her footsteps remained slow as she slowly eased her way on her nimble feet towards the showering rooms. Hazel stepped onto the tiles of the bathroom and glanced around the shower room, with wide eyes. Hazel sucked in a shaky breath and slowly walked across the tile. 

It was fairly humid in the shower room, compared to the outside world of blistering snow that swirled endlessly around outside. Hazel slowly stepped inside a stall, shutting the curtain behind herself as she looked around with wide eyes. The shower curtain was a clean, white almost linen material that hung from two rungs. On the bench there were a few towels, soft and warm - they were fresh. 

Hazel slowly placed her towels down on the bench and then picked up the towels and brought them into her arms. She gently pressed her nose into the fabric and inhaled the soft, gentle, fresh scent. It suddenly smelled of pine, a clean pine. 

Her mind went to Joe and her heart suddenly ached a bit more than it already did. Her eyes watched the towel, a simple towel and tried not to break. 

She was stronger than that. 

Hazel slowly hung the towel up on the hook and then slowly began undressing from the dity ODs that were some of the most horrific signs of war she had ever seen. Hazel slowly removed her Star of David and then the dog tags, lying them down gently together on a little shelf in the stall. Then she reached up and began unbuttoning her OD coat. She didn't want to look at the wound on her chest, she didn't want to have to see it again. 

But Hazel slowly pulled it off and then looked down towards it, as it throbbed a bit and ached. Hazel slowly touched it again, the bandage at least and grimaced at it. Hazel squeezed her eyes shut, as suddenly the memory of hitting the ground as if she were a sack of potatoes thrown in the yard, hit her. Her eyes shot open and her breathing was ragged. 

Her heart was suddenly racing, and her wound was throbbing. Hazel slowly shut her eyes and sucked in a shaky breath before letting it out. 

Hazel pulled off the rest of her ODs. Hazel turned on the shower and began to feel the warm water heating up as it came flying out of the shower head. Hazel slowly stepped into the shower and felt she could almost cry at the warmth. The bandage, Amelia said, would hold in the shower and she could get it changed against afterwards. 

Hazel finally felt warmth, a warmth that reminded her of home. Hazel slowly put her hands in front of her face, watching the water run over them and pool in the crevasses of her palm. The warm water dripped through her fingertips and she watched it with sad eyes. 

Is this what warmth was like? 

What it finally meant to be and feel really, warm? 

Hazel's eyes filled with tears as the water fell over her, pouring down through her messy, tangled hair, pouring down her youthful face that once smiled under the sun rays, but now frowned at the feeling of actual warmth. Hazel bit back her lip as she shut her eyes, feeling the hot tears slowly crawling down her cheeks, mixing with the warm water that filled her ears, rushing like a river. 

She felt the impact in her side, the pain that had swarmed her brown like alcohol, rushing through her veins alerting every part of her body. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head, praying it would stop, begging it to. She let out a weak cry, pushing her hands to her eyes, as the boiling tears spilled past and down her cheeks, more and more. 

She heard the explosions as if there were rockets going off, one after the other, so much so Hazel couldn't stop them, that she couldn't stop the noises. Her hands moved to her ears, plugging them, wishing it would stop, wishing it would all stop, the noises, the visions, the pain, the tears, the horrid memories that were ingrained into her brain. 

Hazel wanted it all to stop. 

Small, innocent cries escaped past her lips, as the water just about covered the sound that left her lips with each cry. She thought she had cried all the tears she could, she thought crying was over with, that crying was something she could push away. 

But her heart ached for too many things, for too many pains that found it's way into her heart. 

Hazel pushed a hand to her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut as she cried. It hurt so much, everywhere and not just physically, it hurt mentally and emotionally. 

It all hurt so much. 

Why? 

Why did it hurt so much to just know she could shower? 

She hadn't showered in almost a month, and everything that had happened in that one month, hurt her more than what had happened in the past 2 years. Bill and Joe were gone, Hoobler was gone, Buck was gone, Skip and Penkala were gone and now she was gone. She was here and Easy Company was there. 

And she wasn't with them. 

And that's what hurt. She couldn't fight with her company. She had to fight herself, her own brain. And sometimes that battle was worse. And it sucked. 

Hazel was panicking, she was thinking of the worst of it. She had to have been, it's why she was panicking the way she was. Hazel hadn't lost a leg and she hadn't lost her life. She was still here, on two feet, alive. She was still alive. And that's what she needed to tell herself as she stood there with the warm water running down her hair and onto her face. She was alive and she was human. 

Hazel squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think, she tried to think of the happy times, Lizzie would tell her that. To think of all the happy times in her life. The moment where she felt her heart swell, or her eyes shine, or where she laughed until she felt she couldn't stop. When Hazel had gotten her Camp Athene medal pinned onto her uniform. Hazel's eyes filled with tears, good tears, happy tears. 

_As Major General Ridgeway Ridgway stopped in front of Hazel with Sweeney at his side, holding out the Camp Athene medal, Hazel's heart swelled with pride and she couldn't keep the smile from her features as Ridgway smiled at her._

_" Congratulations Corporal Parker." Ridgway said as she shook his hand._ _  
_

_" Thank you, sir." Hazel said and Ridgway smiled proudly at her. Hazel felt even more pride; it had been a fatherly look, something she'd been deprived of. She felt proud standing here right now. She needed that._

Hazel felt herself steady for a moment, steady in the sense of stability. She remembered jumping through the air, on her final jump to earn her jump wings. How it had felt, how she had felt, everything. 

_On their 5th and final jump, the morning was slightly warmer than it had been in the past, and there was a fulfilling excitement that overwhelmed the entire plane as they slowly gained elevation again._

_Hazel couldn't wipe the smile from her lips as she sat there, watching them ascend up into the clouds. There wasn't an ounce of fear or hesitation, as she flew through the air, her parachute spreading like bird wings. She felt she was on top of the world, able to see everything from where she was at the current moment. She could see the trees at the edge of the horizon, lit up by the sun, and she could see lakes and mountains in the distance. She could see tiny towns and people walking around. She could see it all, she felt._

_She came crashing to the ground in a large heap, rolling around before stopping just like her past few times, and then inhaling the green grass. She smiled to herself before flipping on her back and standing, yanking each piece of her equipment off, her helmet lopsided on her head, but a smile on her lips._

Hazel remembered getting those jump wings pinned to her chest beside her Camp Athene medal. 

_She remembered the swell of pride, the smile that had been on her face, the sense of the readiness and the thirst for war. Hazel watched as Ridgway went around with Sweeney holding the velvet case of Jump Wings in his hands, beside Ridgway. Ridgway stepped in front of Hazel and smiled down at her._

_She broke from her facade and couldn't help but offer a grateful smile up at him. She watched as he slowly reached into the velvet box of paratrooper Jump Wings and pulled out the most meaningful thing she felt she'd ever get in her life. He attached it to her uniform before stepping back._

_" Congratulations, Corporal Parker." Ridgway said to her and she smiled up at him._ _"_

_Thank you, sir." she said, and saluted him. Ridgway smiled at her before saluting her back. Then he held out his hand to her and she looked up at his eyes. They twinkled like stars, with a wise glint_. 

Hazel remembered the first time Joe had walked out of the bar to come and see that she was stargazing instead of dancing. He had brought chocolate with him, the good chocolate.

_" Could you see stars like this in Camp Toccoa?" she asked him, " We could see them in Camp Athene."_ _  
_

_"_ _Not sure, I don't stargaze remember?" Joe said as Hazel looked at him and laughed. She nodded. Joe slowly pulled out something from his pocket; a chocolate bar._

_" Figured I'd stow this along, you want a piece?" Joe asked her. Hazel grinned. She loved chocolate. She nodded. So, Joe cracked the bar in 2 and handed her the other half._

Memories, some of the fiercest played through her mind, some of the happiest as well. Her heart ached for those moments, for those moment to come back. She remembered Catherine, teaching her and Lizzie as they sat like school children, about D-Day and what would be happening, what would occur. Hazel's eyes were never so bright watching Catherine talk so passionately as she did. 

_As Hazel approached the sand table, which was surrounded by a mass of Easy Company men, she noticed Catherine nearby at the larger map, looking up at the 5 beachheads. Hazel smiled softly, stepping past Joe and stepping past the men, struggling a bit to pull herself up onto the stage and clambering in beside Catherine._

_" Hey, Mack." Hazel said and Catherine glanced her way with a grin._ _  
_

_" How're you doing? With all this?" Catherine asked her, looking back up at the map of the mission._

_" It's a little stressful, I'm not afraid to admit that." Hazel said with a shrug of her shoulders, and an innocent smile, " But I feel we're ready." Catherine smiled. Hazel grinned._ _  
_

_"_ _You look like you want to explain it to someone," Hazel said, sitting down criss-cross applesauce like a child and staring up at the big map with curious eyes, " I'll visit the sand tables later." Catherine smiled at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling._

_" You sure?" Catherine asked Hazel._ _  
_

_" You're my friend, of course." Hazel said._

_So, Catherine began explaining things, going over little things, and Hazel felt better knowing Catherine, a Lieutenant, and someone who worked in college with this sort of stuff was explaining the mission specifically to her._

Hazel's eyes welled with fresh tears. Catherine. She missed Catherine more than Hazel could imagine. The way Catherine just walked around with a confident smile, a helping hand and an easy-going manner that calmed people down almost immediately. Catherine was like a sister, her and Lizzie were like the sisters Hazel never had. And Hazel loved them so much for it. She remembered when Lizzie had come on D-Day plus 2, and Hazel had never hugged her tighter in her arms, thankful that she was alive and thankful she was here.

_" Hazel!" Lizzie called catching sight of the girl. Hazel's heart dropped and as she turned she saw Lizzie pulling her helmet off, with wide eyes._ _  
_

_" Lizzie!" Hazel called, not hesitating to race forward and wrap her arms around Lizzie, pulling her close. Lizzie held Hazel close, the biggest smile on her face. It felt so nice to get a hug from someone Lizzie considered her sister, it felt like family. Hazel slowly pulled back and Lizzie looked around._

_" Where's Cath?" Lizzie asked her. Hazel's eyes dropped to the ground as she nervously bit her lip. Hazel bit her lip when she was nervous. Lizzie's mind thought of the worst possible circumstances that were about to leave Hazel's mouth._ _  
_

_" She got injured in the jump." Hazel said softly, " She was evacuated back to England." Lizzie's heart fell._

_" What happened?" Lizzie asked softly._ _  
_

_"_ _She shattered her shoulder, supposedly her parachute opened up late and it was a malfunction. She crashed landed on her shoulder." Hazel said softly, crossing her arms, as her hand went to touch the Star of David that sat around her neck, worriedly rubbing it._

_" She'll be ok though, Gene brought her in." Hazel confirmed and Lizzie felt relief. Gene. Gene had gotten her to safety. She could always trust Gene._ _  
_

_" Well, how are you?" Lizzie asked, placing her hands on Hazel's shoulders, " You ok? You look stressed."_

_" No, no I'm fine," Hazel said waving her off the worry list, and an analysis on stress, " I was just hoping to see everyone else we were missing soon. And here you are." Lizzie grinned._

Hazel felt a tiny smile crawl onto her lips as she stood in the water. Lizzie. 

Lizzie Elliot who never failed to make someone smile or put on a laugh, that's just how she was. Hazel hoped she never changed, from the gentle touch of her medic hands, to the soft look in her eyes when you needed help; Lizzie was always there for you, without fail. 

Hazel's mind filled with memories, of each and every Easy Company man that had filled her heart with the warmth and love she hadn't gotten in years. The memories held such a special place in her heart, one that was deep inside, the wounded barriers, the closed gates, memories she'd never forget. And it was always one special thing about each of the men, something she remembered, something that made them the way they were. 

Winters' leadership. Nixons' intelligence. Harry's enthusiam. Buck's compassion. Lips' kindness. 

Tab's joy. Bill's bravery. Joe Toye's courage. George's love. Joe Liebgott's respect. Shifty's gentleness. Perconte's sincerity. Gene's caring nature. Chuck's integrity. Babe's innocence. Malarkey's humanity. Skip's hope. Penkala's tranquility. Bull's trust. Johnny's confidence. 

Each man represented these qualities to her. And she missed them too much. But remembering each of them, remembering what they stood for, for her. It meant more than anything in the world to remember them that way. 

And suddenly, her wound didn't hurt as much as it did, and her heart didn't ache like it had, or the tears that had streamed down her cheeks, were replaced with a youthful color and bright eyes that shined as if they were the sun. 

A smile donned Hazel's face as the water trickled down her face. She would be fine, she'd be okay, everyone would be okay. She had to believe that. Hazel slowly shut off the water, after she had scrubbed what she could and washed her hair and stepped out. Her skin was paler than she had thought it to be. She dried off, and then pulled on the fresh ODs that were provided. They were a basic army set that everyone wore.

The Screaming Eagle patches had long ago been removed in Bastogne so members of the company couldn't be easily identified by the enemy. 

So, Hazel slowly pulled the ODs on, her wound aching a bit as she bent over, but she felt better and her mind felt clearer and she had a new perspective on this wound that penetrated her skin, her entire being; her mind. 

Things like this happened all the time, infiltrating your life, interrupting your day, but you had to keep jumping over those hurtles. You always could. 

God would never throw a hurtle too high that you couldn't jump over. Hazel moved slowly back towards her bed, her feet still slow against the ground for her bandages' sake, which had stayed on nicely and stayed in place as well. Her socked feet moved across the ground and she finally saw her bed and sighed. A shower had been what she needed to reach the realizations she had needed to come to. Hazel slowly placed her towel and dirty ODs by her boots by the side of the bed and then turned to seat herself down on the edge of the bed. But when she turned around, someone was looking right at her. 

The silent soldier was awake.


	8. the silent soldier

" May your Guardian Angel wrap you in love, protect, heal and guide you from high above."

_\- Mary Jac_

✰✰✰

Hazel slowly lowered herself onto her bed, eyes watching the silent soldier's own brown ones. He watched her slowly ease herself onto the bed, with a masked, unknown expression that stared back at her. The two soldiers watched each other for a moment before the silent soldier looked at her ODs on the floor. 

" You're one of those Viragos aren't you?" he asked her, his voice surprisingly gentle compared to what she thought she'd hear slip from his mouth. She nodded.

" I am." she said with a gentle nod. 

The silent soldier sat with a loose fitting white shirt, that had some holes in it - it must've been the PT shirt guys wore underneath, and he had dirty OD bottoms on, with socked feet. His eyes had dark circles that surrounded his eyelids, and his eyes seemed emotionless, like a dark gate was pushed over them, concealing each and everything emotion that was inside, back and away from sight. His eyebrows were slack, relaxed, but the stress lines around it showed. He was young and he already had the stress marks of a 30 year old. His lips had cuts in certain areas and his cheek had a tiny scar, from the war, Hazel assumed. His dark brown hair was greasy, he hadn't showered in a while and the stubble along his face was unkempt - but this was the war taking over a human life form, not a soldier of war.

" It's okay, you don't have to look as if I'm a washed up dead fish at the shore." the man said a slight laugh leaving his lips, as a small smile fell on Hazel's lips. 

Whoever this man was, he hadn't lost his humor.

" I'm Hazel Parker." Hazel said holding out her soft, clean, yet internally war torn hand out in front of her. The silent soldier looked at her hand before slowly reaching forward to shake it.

" Jem Rossi." the soldier said and Hazel slowly leaned back with a nod. 

The soldier in front of her, Jem, didn't look like a soldier would. 

It seemed he'd lost hope, given up on himself, let himself go. 

He was skin and bones for all she knew, just because he was giving up.

" How did you get hit?" Jem asked her, " I've heard them changing your bandages." Hazel's hand went to her wound and she gulped.

" One of the shellings, from the Germans in the Ardennes, I got caught out in it." she said and she saw something flash through Jem's eyes. A understandable pain. Jem slowly leaned down to lift up the cuff of his OD bottom and revealed the wrapped wound underneath.

" Krauts got me with the shellings too," he said, his eyes staring coldly at it, " I'm having trouble walking because of it." Jem then let the pant leg slide back over his leg and he let out a shaky sigh. 

" I'm sorry." she said softly. Jem glanced her way.

" Yeah, me too." he said nodding to where he hand lay. She forced a sad smile. 

" Were you in the Ardennes?" she asked him. He nodded.

" Got there the 16th of December, moved through with the 82nd." he said to her, " They got me though, my buddies said I wouldn't, but they tore a chunk out of my leg." Hazel stared at him. He had been in the Ardennes too. She watched his eyes daze off with a certain pain, a certain ache. 

" 101st," she said and Jem met her eyes.

" You were surrounded." he said quietly and she nodded. Jem watched her.

" And that's how you got that." he said pointing to the wound. She nodded.

" It sucks doesn't?" he said and she nodded, " Now I can barely move on my own two feet, because of some Kraut artillery shells." He shook his head. 

" I never knew this was God's path for me." she told him and Jem met her eyes, " God always protected, but I guess he let you get hurt for a reason." Jem softly bit back his lip.

" Is that why you've given up?" she asked boldly watching sadness stir in Jem's eyes. Jem watched her and then ever so slowly nodded. 

" I noticed you haven't been eating," she whispered, " and when Amelia offered you water, you didn't take, you had said you couldn't, you wouldn't." Jem watched her.

" I wanted to die on that battlefield." he said softly to her, " I thought when my leg was hit I would be dead but instead I woke up here. I wished I had died." Hazel stared at him, watching him run a hand through his hair and sigh to himself, shoulders slumping. 

" I want you to eat again," Hazel said, watching as he looked towards her, " I want you to eat the food Amelia gives you, even if it's the smallest bites, and drinking water. Lots of it. I won't let you give up, alright? I saw you in the hospital, back in Bastogne, and we're still here beside each other. God wanted me here for a reason and if it was to make sure you didn't give up, then being here is what I feel I needed. I won't let you give up." Hazel watched Jem. She didn't realize how brave she had become, to tell someone that. 

Because at some point everyone deserved saving, even if they thought they couldn't be saved.

" It's too hard..." Jem said, " I can't." Hazel stared at him. Hard. She bit back her lip, that little angry face she made when concentrating showing everywhere.

" I can believe in you for you, okay?" Hazel whispered softly. Jem slowly looked up towards her, his gaze soft, vulnerable, open. Jem gently looked down at his hands.

" No one's ever told be that before." he said, and she heard him sniffle. Jem met her eyes with his own tear filled eyes. 

" I really wished I had died out there, but now, hearing you say that, it gives me some hope." he managed out, as he anxiously tapped his foot and nodded, a tiny smile on his face, " Thank you." Hazel watched him with soft eyes. Hazel gently stood up, her wound not giving out as much as it had before on her and slowly walked towards him. Jem looked up at her.

" Have you stood yet?" she asked him.

" Only a few times and half the time the medic dragged me to the bathroom." he said, watching as Hazel held out a hand towards him.

" I'm not a medic," she said watching as he looked between her hand and her face. 

Jem shakily took her hand and grasped onto her free arm as she slowly helped him to his feet. Jem shakily look down at his legs, all around at the two supports who were always there for him; his legs. Hazel slowly met his eyes and smiled at him and nodded, leading him away from the bed a bit. Jem's grasp was sweaty and shaky, and Hazel could feel the fear radiating from his entire body.

" You got this, alright?" Hazel said as she pointed towards the bed post.

" It's 5 steps to the bed post, you got this okay?" she said. Jem was squeezing her hand so tight, that he had never retracted it faster, afraid that it would turn white. Jem stood on shaky feet for a second before taking a meager step forward. 

Jem wavered for a second, pulsing his arms out like a toy plane to steady himself. Hazel watched a smile appear on his lips as he realized he was still standing.

" I'm standing, Hazel!" he said, a joyful laugh behind his voice, a boyish one. He took another step forward and another laugh left his mouth.

" I'm doing it!" he said, as he took another step and then another and then finally reached the bed post. 

Even if only Hazel was the only person clapping for him, Hazel knew it meant the world to him. Hazel met his eyes with a grin. Jem smiled, a genuine smile, before looking down at his leg.

" Guess it wasn't so bad after all." he said. Hazel smiled softly.

" You never know until you try, Jem, my mom always told me that." she said. Jem smiled.

" Hey look at you," a voice said and both Hazel and Jem looked over to see it was Amelia standing in the doorway a smile on her face as she entered the room of beds.

" Amelia!" Hazel said, stepping forward, a slight limp in her step as Amelia wrapped her in a warm hug. Amelia smiled and then the two pulled back as they looked towards Jem. 

" Glad to see you on your feet," Amelia said to Jem.

" Thank you, ma'am, I'm glad to." Jem said and then smiled at Hazel, " I should be thanking her." 

" A little guardian angel, right?" Amelia said with a smile at Jem before looking at the innocent girl who stood, smiling up at them.

" Yeah, little guardian angel." Jem said with a nod before the two smiled at Hazel who stood with a grin on her face, her cheeks having color in them for the first time in days, and her dimples even showed. 

" A guardian angel indeed." Amelia said. Hazel smiled. 

Dinner that night was a bit more enjoyable. She had someone to eat with besides herself. Amelia said she would each night, but she always had duties to tend to and Hazel didn't blame her. She respected the medics more than anyone could imagine. 

It was the 18th of January, she had looked at the tiny calendar Jem said he carried around. Hazel wondered where Easy was, what her friends were doing, what the battle on Foy had been like, if they had lost anyone, if they had all gotten the rest they deserved. If they were heading back to Mourmelon. Hazel gently poked the potato and stuck it in her mouth, savoring the taste. She then glanced at Jem who was more so playing with his food instead of eating it.

" It's really good, Jem." she promised, taking another gleeful bite. Jem offered a smile before poking his fork into the potato. He stared at it, eyes contemplating the food on the fork. 

" I don't think I can." he said quietly, staring at the good on the fork, " I said I could, but now...." Jem had given up on himself, but Hazel hadn't given up on him and she had told him that.

" Hey, I didn't say it would be easy," she said softly leaning forward, " just a bite?" Jem watched her eyes and then looked back at the potato.

" Does it taste like home?" Jem asked her, " Like Christmas day dinners?" Hazel smiled.

" Just like Christmas day dinners, seasoned and salted, with all the herbs, all the fixings, the most beautiful golden crisp." she said, " I feel just like I'm at home." Hazel watched Jem slowly glance at the potato and then bring it to his lips and slowly let himself savor the taste. He slowly began chewing, softly and thoughtfully eating it. 

" How is it?" Hazel asked him looking at him with hopeful eyes. Jem's eyes widened a bit.

" Whoa." he said and then looked at her, " You weren't kidding." Hazel smiled a bit and gently popped another bit of potato in her mouth. Jem smiled. 

That night, Hazel watched Jem finish his first full fill of potatoes, a meal. 

One of the nurses, a friend of Amelia's, stopped her as the two were leaving.

" That's the first time he's eaten, even without a nurse." she said to Hazel. Hazel felt a grin grow on her face as she shyly smiled.

" I told him that I wasn't giving up on him." Hazel said, " Just like I didn't give up on myself." The nurse smiled at Hazel before nodding to her. Hazel and Jem sat down on their beds that night.

" You know you talk in your sleep." Jem had said to her as they sat there, " I figured I'd let you know, just in case." Hazel looked at him. 

" It's the nightmares," she said softly, " the visions of the hit, every night since I was pulled from the line I've gotten them, they're different every night." Jem watched her.

" Sometimes I see the young man's body who I had to pull back on a solo patrol." Hazel whispered, " Or the faces of the men who died or got wounded. Or I see myself getting injured." 

" I was unconscious by entire rescue and I couldn't see the faces of my friends, who've seen me through by best and my worst. I could've even say thank you for rescuing me." Hazel said. Jem softly watched her.

" Me either." he said, " I was unconscious until I woke up before the move here." 

" I remember that." Hazel said, " I know what that feels like, to wake up and notice you're all alone, none of your friends are here, you're in a cot with a wound you didn't know you got. It was scary." Jem nodded.

" It's why I didn't give up though, I knew I was stronger than the demons that bore down on me, all of them. Despair, Sadness, Fear, Anger, Loneliness. I knew I was stronger than all of them because I'm human. They're just feelings, and those feelings don't have to last for long." Hazel told him nodding softly to herself, " Yeah." Jem watched her. 

" You speak like a philosopher." Jem said to her, a small smile on her face, " You sound confident, yet so humble." Hazel glanced at him and smiled softly.

" I believe in God." she said, " I've learned that God puts you in places and guides you in certain ways, for the right reasons." Hazel slowly kneaded her hands together.

" It can be tough, all of it. It can be real tough, but it builds you up, makes you stronger." Hazel said. Jem watched her softly, a bit his lip.

" You think there's still hope?" Jem asked, " For people like us." Hazel felt a grin poke at the corner's of her lips and she nodded.

" Of course," she whispered softly, " hope's always there, hard to find sometimes, but there." 


	9. talks of going AWOL

" Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions."

_\- Dalai Lana_

✰✰✰

Within the coming days, Hazel was getting stronger, standing and moving by herself. She ate, she showered, she would get her bandages changed by Amelia who always spent her coffee breaks chatting with Hazel and Jem. 

As the days of January passed, the trio spent more time then they thought they would together. And Jem was getting his weight back up to normal as well, he was eating and drinking and he smiled more. 

Hazel remembered seeing him those days curled on the cot in Bastogne. He looked healthy and with help from Amelia, the trio would get their walk in around the place, getting Jem's bad leg up to speed. But Jem always said that if he didn't have his guardian angel, Hazel Parker, he felt he never would've gotten up on his feet and he would've let himself rot on that bed for the rest of his dwindling days.

Hazel sat down at breakfast on the 26th of January, and gently ate her fill of bacon and eggs. Until Jem slid in, in front of her and held up a picture. It was of a woman, standing with a little dog in her arms.

" Who's this?" Hazel asked reaching forward to gentle take the fragile pictures in her hands, eyes wide in awe.

" That's Phoebe, and her puppy, Emmy, back home in Pennsylvania." he said with a soft smile, looking fondly at the picture in her hands.

" Is she your girlfriend?" Hazel asked softly, a gentle smile on her lips. Jem smiled.

" Yes, yes she is," Jem said, " I've taken this from Normandy through Holland, Bastogne and now here, I've always loved her, since the 2nd grade." Hazel's heart melted.

" She's beautiful, Jem." Hazel said staring at the photo with a soft heart. Hazel handed Jem back the photo and smiled gently.

" What about you?" Jem asked, " I'm sure you have a few lucky men lined up back in America." Hazel blushed and shook her head almost bashfully.

" No, I don't," she said looking down, " I was only 18, and I was too young for all that." Jem watched her softly. 

" Anyone in mind?" Jem asked, with a slight smirk but she just giggled and shook her head.

" No," she said, even though her heart gave a slight tug and she frowned a bit at the feeling. 

" Where's home for you, Jem?" Hazel asked him, " I know you mentioned Pennsylvania." Jem smiled and leaned forward a bit, looking fondly into basically nothing.

" State College, Pennsylvania." he said with a nod, " Born and raised." Hazel smiled.

" What's it like out there?" Hazel asked him, with shining eyes.

" Well, my mom and dad have had a farm there, from their parents since the late 1890s, and I've just always lived on that farm, gone to the local school. It's real out there though, sorta that in the middle of nowhere. Sure, you have Penn State right there, but we lived out in the hills and fields. We used to travel down to Gettysburg, ya know?" Jem said and Hazel watched Jem's face sadden.

" I had family in the past wars, the Revolution, the Civil War, and so going to Gettysburg as a kid, I always said how I hoped I was the first member of my family, in my generation to not have a war in their lifetime," Jem said and then gently clasped his cold hands around his coffee mug, " I was wrong." Hazel felt her shoulders slump. Just a kid and he thought that. What sort world did they live in?

" But I was happy to fight until death for my country," he said nodding, " it's what unites us." Hazel nodded with a soft smile.

" It is truly." she said softly.

" What about you? You have the slightest hint of an accent." Jem said. 

" Pigeon Forge, down in Tennessee." she said, " We live in a little cabin, that overlooks the Appalachian Mountains and the valley below with the town, I feel you couldn't grow up in a more beautiful place." Jem smiled at her.

" And you went to Church right?" he asked her and she nodded.

" Big Church go-er, it was my escape though, for the world when the outside world wasn't so kind. I just knew though, God was there and I could put my faith in him." Hazel said with a small smile. Jem nodded.

" What were you in your company, rifleman, machine gunner?"

" Sniper," Hazel said with a soft nod and she watched Jem's eyes go big.

" No way," he said, placing down his mug, " no way!" Hazel nodded, as a small embarrassed smile fell on her face.

" We heard all about you, we had a few Viragos, but not in my company and we've just always heard about you guys and we heard that they trained one of you to be a sniper." Jem said with a wide smile on his face where all his teeth showed, " Never thought I'd ever meet you, figured I'd just see in the paper or something when this war ended." Hazel smiled.

" Well, here I am." Hazel said as Jem laughed.

" I don't know if you know, but they showed most of the groups that were getting Viragos, videos of your training, and it looked intense. You're strong." Jem said with a nod, " Those icy mud pits, it looked like hell." Hazel laughed.

" It was," she said shaking her head, " hell on earth." 

" But here you are," Jem said. Hazel frowned a bit.

" Didn't expect to be here exactly, maybe still with my company." she said with a slight shrug. Jem offered a soft smile.

" Yeah, same." he said, nodding and biting back his lip, " When I got hit actually, I didn't pass out until they had loaded me onto one of those trucks ya know? I saw my buddies, the looks they gave me as I was loaded onto that truck, I wish I hadn't seen them and had passed out earlier." Hazel watched Jem begin to stare hard at his coffee.

" Hey," Hazel said leaning forward, forcing him to meet her eyes, " you'll see them again, I promise." 

" The second I'm able to walk around without so much as a limp and without a bandage, I'm going AWOL to get back to my company." she said, " Would you want to join me? I know you miss your company, we all do, with how long we've all fought together, I can see it in your eyes." Jem looked at her.

" I saw it in your eyes, the way they lit up." Hazel said, " I know that feeling." 

" When do you say?" he asked her.

" Well," Hazel said leaning forward and waving Jem closer, " it's the 26th now, and Amelia thinks that in two weeks, my bandage can finally be removed, at least during the day." Jem nodded.

" And she told me about your files, you might have a slight limp, but it'll go away but you've been healing up and it seems you'll be good in two weeks time." Hazel said and she watched Jem smile, a genuine smile, " And I figured maybe February 8th wouldn't be a bad day to break out of here and get back to our company." Jem grinned.

" I like the way you think, Hazel," Jem said leaning back and gleefully sipping his coffee. Hazel grinned proudly.

" We rest up this week and next, we eat and rest when we can, do what we're told and heal up the best we can and bust out of here." Hazel said, " I miss my company."

" You're not the only one," Jem said with a joyful smile and Hazel grinned at him. 

Hazel began physical therapy officially the next day with help from Amelia. Amelia had opted to be one of her almost personal nurses when she didn't have other duties to attend to. Amelia had told Hazel that she had seen the look in the eyes of Gene and Lizzie, the two medics that had brought Hazel in and knew she had to do anything to get Hazel back up on her feet again. Hazel's heart had swelled just hearing their names and then she realized how much she missed them. 

Hazel's physical therapy was to make sure the wound hadn't penetrated enough to start immobility on her leg right below where the impact had been initially made. A lot of the things Hazel practiced were basic things, like sitting up, lying down, standing up, sitting down, swinging her legs back and forth to make sure her knees were okay and that she could hold herself up in sitting position. 

Simple things like that to make sure everything was still intact. Her and Amelia got time to talk while they did it thought and it helped Hazel not focus on her wounds for a little bit and to just focus on the joyful conversation she had with Amelia. 

Amelia was someone Hazel had admired from the beginning; Hazel had seen Amelia in the field hospital in Bastogne doing what she could to save peoples' lives but then making sure Hazel and now Jem got food and were okay as well. She cared about everyone - she was a lot like Lizzie and Gene who Hazel admired and adored so much. 

With each passing day, Hazel got stronger and she watched Jem get stronger as well, building up his leg strength and eating his fill each night. He no longer talked about not wanting to eat, but instead her showered, he ate, he drank his water, took his medicine, did his physical therapy, it was a relief to Hazel, to finally see him doing what he needed. 

Hazel and Jem ate every meal together and then they'd talk for a while, telling stories from both their companies and having a good laugh or two at the same time. Hazel felt like she knew every friend of Jem's in his company, he always talked about them with such love and passion in his eyes, and it made Hazel realize that each company was just like Easy. 

Each company had gone through training like that, and it had bonded them because of it and it carried throughout the war. 

A bond like that lasted a lifetime. 

Hazel had been heading to the mess hall for lunch on the 1st of February when she saw a familiar face down the hall, walking alone, a bit of a limp. Her eyes widened.

" Frank?" Hazel called, picking up her pace a bit, as much as her limpy leg and side could handle, 

" Frank Perconte!?" She watched the man slowly look up and meet her eyes, and a smile spread across his lips.

" Tiny!" he called, as the two hurried faster toward each other before Hazel reached him and wrapped her arms around him, in one of the tightest hugs she'd ever given someone. Hazel shut her eyes, as tears threatened to pour from them, as she hugged Frank. 

An Easy Company member. Easy. Her company. Someone from her company. He smelled clean and from the looks of it was all clean with fresh ODs, fresh boots, fresh everything. It was wonderful to see another member of Easy all clean, happy, upbeat especially after Bastogne. Bastogne had opened more mental wounds than physical wounds. Hazel slowly pulled back and met his eyes, but he had a smile on his face. Hazel grinned.

" How are you? What are you doing here?" she asked him, gently holding onto his shoulder. He was still in shock it seemed watching her with big eyes. 

" What am I doing here? What are you doing here, Tiny? I thought I wouldn't be seeing you for a while." he said, a smile spreading on his face and Hazel giggled. She couldn't help but hug him again.

" I missed you," she said, " I miss everyone." 

" They miss you like crazy, Tiny, you can't even imagine." Frank said as Hazel pulled back and watched him, " Cath, Lizzie, Joe, I'd never seen the 3 of them that way, never." Hazel watched Frank as he spoke and her heart broke inside her chest.

" What are you doing here?" Hazel asked him, searching for a sign of a wound.

" Oh you'll like this, bullet right through the ass." Frank said turning a pointing to his ODs. Hazel couldn't help but let a tiny smile on her lips as Frank laughed.

" Aw no, Frank." Hazel said as Frank just laughed.

" I got a week in this place and then I'm out," he said, " you wanna come with? I'm sure I can get you out of here."

" One step ahead of you," Hazel said and Frank smirked grandly.

" What're you thinking in that mind of yours?" he said with a laugh.

" Let's talk over lunch," she said, as she wrapped an arm around his back and he did the same to her shoulders.

" It's a deal," Frank said and Hazel smiled as the two moved towards the dining hall. Hazel had never been happier to see Frank despite the hole in his butt from a German, but the entire way to the dining hall, he cracked jokes about it, making Hazel laugh harder than she had in a few weeks and grasping her wound, tightly to keep the stitches there in place. Frank apologized for making her laugh but he couldn't keep the laugh in his own mouth inside. Hazel couldn't stop laughing, and she knew if Amelia found a torn stitch she'd rip Hazel a new one. 

When Hazel and Frank entered the mess hall, Hazel saw Jem sitting with the morning paper that was delivered each morning, reading through it and eating what looked like meatloaf. When Jem noticed her coming over and wide smile spread across his face as he noticed the man beside her. Hazel had talked in length about many of the men of Easy and when Jem noticed the man, he figured it had to be either Frank or Bill, most likely Frank because of Bill's wound.

" Frank Perconte." Jem said as he stood holding out a hand.

" Yeah, how'd ya know?" Frank said shaking his hand.

" She loves talking about you guys," Jem said and Frank grinned at Hazel who smiled softly. 

" Jem Rossi," Jem introduced.

" Fellow Italian?" Frank asked him.

" Yeah, grandparents are from Venice," Jem said, " traveled in the late 1880s." Frank grinned.

" Told ya we're the best." Frank said as he slowly, grimacing a bit, eased himself into a seat in front of Jem and Hazel took her spot. Jem chuckled. 

" Jem and I have been helping each other through all this, it's been rough," Hazel said, " but it's nice to have friend there, especially ones who understand you." Frank smiled genuinely and then looked at Jem.

" She's one of the most beloved of the company," Frank said his voice surprisingly gentle and quiet as he spoke, like it physically hurt him, " no one could take her being wounded, seeing her being wounded, it took a lot to keep moving on. She's always been there." Jem's eyes turned soft and he looked at Hazel who smiled softly.

" None of the guys liked hearing you were wounded, a lot of the guys I saw cry for the first time since war," Frank said honestly, and Hazel gently reached forward to place a hand on Frank's shoulder. Hazel gently smiled at him as Frank met her eyes. He gently placed a hand on hers and nodded.

" I'm just glad to know you're okay," Frank said, " all the guys will be so happy." Jem smiled. 

" You're just so innocent, you know? Everything a war isn't, hearing you got hit, it was hard." Frank said. Hazel's eyes widened and she took his arm.

" How's Cath? Lizzie?" she asked him. Frank watched her.

" Lizzie better than Catherine, but they were actually the ones who brought us out of the slump for Foy." Frank said, " Both went around to all the foxholes, talking to people, making sure they were okay, encouraging others, I'd never seen people remain so strong. They love you a lot Hazel, and it hurt them to see you like that, but they kept going. You guys are so incredibly strong." Hazel watched with slightly tear filled eyes as Frank spoke. Hazel wiped at her cheek and then met Jem's eyes who watched softly.

" The Viragos are something special." Jem said with a gentle nod looking at Hazel. Hazel smiled softly. 

" They've always been my sisters," Hazel said and the two men smiled.

" Yeah, closest things to sisters out here." Frank said with a smile at Hazel and Hazel grinned brightly. Then her heart missed a beat.

" How's Joe?" Hazel asked, watching as Frank's eyes turned sad.

" He didn't exactly take it well, if that's what you're asking," Frank said with a sad smile, " George went and told him, he was upset." Hazel slowly looked away and at her shaking hands in her lap. She shut her eyes. 

Why did she feel like this? 

Why did her heart ache as much as it did just thinking of him? Her heart ached.

" He has my bracelet, I told him if I get hit to return it to my mother," Hazel said softly, " he probably thinks I'm not coming back." 

" I don't think anyone thinks your coming back," Frank said with a small smile, " it'll be great to see their faces though when you step in front of them for the first time in a month." Hazel laughed lightly, Joe sitting in the back of her mind, like a lingering thought. They all laughed. It was nice to laugh.

" So, what's this about going AWOL?" Frank said leaning forward as Jem and Hazel looked at each other with a smirk.

" Let us enlighten you." Jem said, pulling out a piece of paper. 

Frank smirked.


	10. edelweiss

" Tears are words that need to be written."

_\- Paulo Coelho_

✰✰✰

It was to be, the 8th would be the AWOL date. Frank managed to snag a bed beside Hazel's, and the happy trio turned to four and Frank made quite the impression on Amelia when she had to change the bandage on his butt. It was quite funny, but Amelia had seen it all before and had laughed it off. It was the least of her worries with Mr. Frank Perconte.

Frank integrated in with Hazel and Jem perfectly and Amelia knew she could always find the group together doing something around the hospital. The group talked on and on about everything under the sun, and they were the group that attracted other wounded soldiers over to get in on conversations. It brought a bit of light to everyone's dark days in the hospital.

Jem always wound sing along to the tune of the songs on the radio, but his favorite was _I Don't Want to Set The World On Fire_ by The Ink Spots.

And he was good, really good.

He had that soulful, rasp to his voice, like Joe Toye's and Jem always had the goofiest smile spread across his face as he sang the little tune. But it warmed Hazel's heart, and it made everything at the hospital seem less depressing as it normally was, with the amount of wounded and death that walked like ghosts through the halls.

That night, the 4th, 4 days before the AWOL date, Hazel, Jem and Frank were sat on their beds, doing their own thing for the evening. Hazel had finally sat down to write a letter to her mother, to finally tell her what happened and to let her know she was okay, that she was alive and well and healing.

Most importantly, happy. She was closer to God, her faith and she felt better, better than she had in the beginning of being in the hospital.

_Mom,_

_I hope this letter sees you well. I'm writing from a hospital near Epinal, France. If that second sentence scared you, don't be, I promise you. I am well. I was wounded in Bastogne, by one of the shellings that we received daily, but I am okay. I've been healing up better than they thought I would and I've been eating and drinking water and sleeping the best I can, and I've been warm. My nurse, Amelia Beckett has taken the best care of me that I feel I could've ever gotten and she's become my friend while I've been here. We've talked for hours before and she's just like one of the girls._

_Being here has made me respect the medics even more than I already did, seeing what they deal with, what they have to go through, all of it. I honestly can't imagine having to do their job, they're all so brave and absolutely fearless, I admire them all so much. Over the time I've been here the past few weeks, I've gotten to know a man by the name Jem Rossi, from Pennsylvania. He got wounded just like I did but he's in the 82nd and we've really bonded over so many things. He struggled in the beginning, just like me, but we helped each other out a lot, trying to get ourselves back on our feet and moving even if it took a bit, and we're already seeing huge differences, good differences. It's a nice feeling to have a friend to go through things like this with you. And then guess who showed up, Frank Perconte!! He took a bullet in the butt in Foy supposedly and ended up in the hospital before being transported here. I had never been happier to see an Easy Company man walking down the hall with a bullet wound in his butt. I swear you'd love to talk to the man, you'd get along well._

_My wound is healing fast, the stitches in my side are healing everything up together and I'm feeling better. I suffered from blood lose, but now I've never felt better, sitting here. I just feel better and I can tell. The wound made me really start to think about God and my morals and I feel closer to him than ever before. I feel like it was his plan for me, eventually, because I helped Jem from dying really, from wanting to rot away, I've helped Amelia feel better when she can't help herself, and I've helped Frank feel more secure here. I don't entirely know if it was fate, but being here, has made me come to certain realizations about the war. The war is meant to dehumanize you, make you become a robot to think certain things, think a certain way, do a certain thing a certain way. But they never told you what happens and goes through your mind. And it has helped me. It has helped me more than I can ever imagine. I feel like I'm finally finding myself, through this wound, if that isn't strange enough? To find myself in a wound which felt like it would take my very life from me. I would've never thought in all my life that getting a wound that took my life from me would help me find it again and find this sense of peace with what I'm going through. It's all so strange, such an odd feeling, but I've talked to Amelia about it, more times than you can imagine and she said it's rare for some people but they come out a better person after their wounds. She said I'd be one of them! :) And that made me smile._

_Now, I haven't really told anyone this, but is it possible to feel this weird, odd sensation when you're away from someone for a while. Someone who was just constantly there and now they aren't? I don't know, it sounds kinda dumb, but over the past few months, I've just started to admire Joe Liebgott more. I don't know, mom, he's always been my friend, someone I can trust, someone who just gets me and doesn't judge me, and I don't know, if I'm starting to feel that he's more than a best friend? I don't know, I'm scared of my emotions and what I feel since I feel everything as deeply as I do. He's just been on my mind a lot...I don't know. I guess it's maybe the way he's cared for me over the past few months. And I know people always look at the beauty of a person but he's much more than that mom, so much more. He has a good soul even if he doesn't believe it himself. He just always makes me so happy, and I never have a dull moment with him. Just knowing he's somewhere else and he's not there, I guess it makes me kinda sad._

_I'll think about it all, I've had a lot of time to over the past few weeks here in the hospital. I wish I could talk to you on the telephone and you could give me all the advice you have back to me, but I know we can't. Please stay safe for me and try to eat some more cookies when you can, they always make my day brighter. And remember, mom, I'm okay, I promise!!_

_Love,_

_Your daughter, Hazel_

Hazel slowly folded the letter and put it into the envelope and sat back her heart pounding, cheeks aglow and Joe Liebgott's face like a banner hanging up in her brain.

Hazel gently touched her red hot cheeks and let out a shaky breath.

She thought of Paris.

How Paris had been, every moment in Paris with Joe. Her face warmed even more and suddenly there was this ache to have him sitting by her side, giving her that small smirk, letting her talk about the stars to him. Hazel gently placed a hand on her heart and felt it racing. Just thinking about Joe did that to her. Maybe this hospital bed was going to make her realize more things than she thought.

On the 5th, Hazel was in a fog, her mind consumed by Joe Liebgott, the man from San Fransisco she told all her secrets to and trusted, the one who teased her and comforted her, the one who listened to her talk about anything. She didn't talk much at breakfast as Frank and Jem went on and on about different things, even talking about some of the sports games and such. Hazel wasn't even paying attention.

Her poor little heart, sagged in her chest, as if a frown had been put on its face.

Hazel wished her mother were here or Catherine and Lizzie were here so she could ask them why she felt the way she did, why her heart ached.

Curse her stupid emotions.

Hazel had thought about Joe the rest of the day, her mind trying to tell herself it was just because she missed him so much and that she would have to get used to a few days with his jokes and his grin and his fluffy hair. She told herself that was why, sucking down the emotions and keeping them away as if they were some secret file.

So going to bed that night wasn't any different than the rest, lying down on a warm hospital bed, with the soft glow from the hallway escaping under the door as Jem and Frank's quiet snores filled the room, as well as the multiple other men who occupied the other side of the room. Hazel felt herself falling asleep before she even knew rest was coming her way.

But that's when the nightmares would start, they had been subtle at first, like a retelling of D-Day or back in Bastogne with Private Julian. But other days, they were filled with horrifying dreams with the men and women of Easy Company. Dreams where it would be people doing something they'd never do. But it would be reruns, Sobel leaving her behind, to freeze out in the bitter cold. She always blacked out in the end and woke up in sweats, thankfully not disturbing Jem who slept soundly in his own bed. And each time she shot up out of the bed, it was like the stitches in her chest were yanking apart, and a burning exploded over her. But they were always fine in the end.

But that night, the dream wasn't a nightmare.

It was anything but a nightmare.

It was Catherine and Lizzie.

Hazel in the dream felt her eyes fill with tears, the two women were sitting at a table in their Class A's, with Hazel there as well and the 3 of them were all talking together, their voices a mixture of laughter and blubber together, but it made Hazel feel like crying.

Then her dream faded into San Fransisco.

She was looking up at the Golden Gate Bridge, the sun glistening across it and beside her was Catherine and Lizzie. They wore beautiful flowing dresses and their hair was clean and their faces were make-up free, just like in the war and they looked as beautiful as they always did and their smiles were bright, lighting up the entire city. They looked so happy too, where their eyes even shined. And their smiles were more genuine than ever before, and they were practically glowing.

Literally glowing.

It made Hazel tear up.

She didn't realize how much she'd miss those two women. They were her rocks, they were what kept Hazel stable. And now they weren't here, and Hazel had never missed them more.

Catherine was like a mother with her natural leadership instincts and warm advice and then Lizzie with her caring touches, soft eyes and the jokes that even made the toughest eggs easy to crack. Hazel's eyes slowly opened in the night, as she stared at the dark ceiling. She slowly sat up, and felt tears roll down her cheeks.

Big, fat tears.

The things she didn't want seeping out of her eyes while here.

But there they were.

Hazel pushed a hand to her mouth.

It wasn't a nightmare, it was reality, a reality Hazel wished, to just see them happy again - both of them.

She just wanted them happy.

And there they were the saddest they'd ever been and because of her. Her heart ached, a throbbing ache. She missed them more than she could ever imagine.

This stupid wound.

The stupid Germans.

Stupid everything.

If she had been in her foxhole, she wouldn't have been wounded, she'd be sitting with them right now, she'd be with them right now, she wouldn't be in this stupid hospital, with this stupid bandage wrapped around her chest, holding her organs in place. If only she hadn't been that stupid. A small cry escaped her lips, trembling from her mouth as she broke. She clamped a hand tighter to her mouth, forcing herself to swallow the cries that bubbled from her lips, telling her self to stop being weak.

Hazel, trembling, slowly stood from her bed and walked with shaky knees to the bathroom where she turned on the light and collapsed to the floor, sobs racking her entire body. Loud, anguish filled sobs, full of heart break escaping her mouth.

It hurt.

It all hurt so much.

Everything.

Every painful memory.

How much had she cried here?

How much had she let herself cry because she just couldn't deal with it all?

Too many times. Too many times for her own good. She shouldn't have though. Let herself break this emotionally. But she figured that's why the hospital was here. To let you rethink all that and become better in the end. But it sucked. It all sucked horribly.

Hazel slowly looked up, the static of the lightbulb burning above her. Hazel sniffled to herself before slowly standing to her feet and looking up towards it. She reached forward and flipped the switch.

It turned dark.

Completely dark, except for the window where faint starlight filtered in. Hazel flipped the switch back on and watched the light come back on. She did it a few more times before leaving the light out. She turned to the window, wiping her cheeks and sniffling quietly to herself and leaned up against the window, letting out a shaky sigh.

This stupid war.

This war had taken so much from her. She didn't know what pain was, true pain. Pain like this.

Sure, as an 8 year old, she didn't know pain would last a lifetime from then. She thought her dad would come back. But he wasn't. He wouldn't. And now here she was, experiencing an even worse pain that.

Was there worse pain than that?

Hazel shut her eyes and then looked towards the stars. And she felt a comfort. A soft and gentle comfort as if her mother was standing by her side watching with her. Hazel expected to look to her left to see Joe sitting there with a goofy smile, shining eyes and eager ears, as his jostled his knee against hers to annoy her.

But instead she was greeted with the cold darkness.

But what was the light without darkness, like the moonlight that streamed in now?

The moon wouldn't shine as bright as it did if it weren't surrounded by the dark.

The next morning Jem had slept in and Frank and Hazel had gone down breakfast that morning and instead sat in the comfy chairs that looked out towards the little town below. Hazel hadn't touched her food and that's when Frank looked at her.

" Oh, no, you're eating," he said placing down his plate and picking up here's, " I promise you it's better than that Army shit they fed us." Hazel let a soft laugh pass her lips. 

" I'm okay, Frank really." she said but Frank saw past her eyes as she met his.

" Something bothering you?" he said, " Besides your wound." Hazel softly gulped and met his eyes.

" If I had been in my foxhole, Frank I wouldn't be here." she whispered softly. Frank's eyes softened.

" Hazel, you can't blame yourself, it's war, it's bound to happen to anyone." Frank said softly. Hazel forced a smile.

" I was the little birdie that thought she could, you know? Spread my wings, take flight, move on, continue to fight. But I guess if you try so hard and get nowhere you eventually fall down." she said.

" But you get up again," Frank said to her, " we fell, but we'll be back on our feet on our way to Easy in 2 days. 2 days! We'll be seeing them in two days." Hazel's heart felt warm as she crossed her feet over one another.

" You're strong, Hazel, you always have been," Frank said to her, " Bill and George, they always said you were, and I've always believed it. This wound..." he pointed to her chest, " it's one of those cones you have to swear around in the road, like the ones in Downtown Chicago. But then you pass it, ya know?" Hazel watched him.

" Physically I guess," Hazel whispered," but mentally, it's like a film, over and over. It hurts." 

" Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," Frank said as he gently stood and sat beside her, wrapping an arm over her shoulder, " it will now, but then you make good memories right? That go over the bad ones." Hazel suddenly smiled. Grace had said that back in Aldbourne. The good overpowered the bad.

" Yeah," Hazel whispered, as she leaned against Frank's shoulder, " the good overpowers the bad." 

" Yeah, sure does, doesn't it?" Frank said and Hazel smiled.

" Thank you, Frank, for being here for me." she said glancing up towards him.

" Eh what do you know, I knew some Italian guy like me would be capable of comforting someone one day." he said and Hazel laughed. The two sat together the rest of the morning together and by 11, Hazel had eaten. Hazel eventually took to sitting on the window sill during the afternoon, looking out the hospital window to where the children in the local school played games together, throwing a ball back and forth. Hazel felt a small smile fall on her lips.

" Edelweiss, edelweiss..." Hazel sang softly, her voice soft and pure, filled with more emotion that she felt she could ever compose coming out of her mouth, " Every morning you greet me, small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to meet me..."

" Blossom of snow, may you bloom and grow.." Hazel sang gently, watching the children in the snow, her eyes filling with sadness, " bloom and grow forever, edelweiss, edelweiss, bless my homeland forever...." Hazel felt something catch in her throat and looked down quickly and squeezed her eyes shut.

" You have a nice voice," a voice said and Hazel looked over her shoulder to see it was Amelia there. Hazel let out a soft sigh and then smiled gently.

" Thanks, Amelia." Hazel said. Amelia gave a soft smile watching how emotional she looked just singing.

" Where'd you learn it?" Amelia asked as she walked forward and wrapped an arm around Hazel's shoulder.

" My mom," Hazel said, " my dad use to sing it to her, but now my mom would just sing it and I guess it's just a way to comfort me. She always sang it to me before bed when I was little." Amelia gave a gentle smile towards Hazel.

" Your mother sounds amazing," Amelia said and Hazel felt her throat tighten.

" She is," Hazel said, " she's the best mother anyone can ever ask for." Amelia smiled at Hazel and watched her suck down a cry. 

" Sorry," Hazel said wiping at her eye, " I miss her, she was good at comforting people."

" Aw Hazel," Amelia said squeezing her shoulder tightly, and giving her a warm side hug, " we at least you get your bandage off today." Hazel immediately shot out of the hug and looked at Amelia.

" Today?" Hazel asked with wide eyes, tears gone. Amelia nodded with a grin.

" Yep, you'll be set." she said. Hazel smiled and eagerly jumped off the bed ledge and followed Amelia into the little room in the back where once the bandage was removed a few of the doctors could make sure the wound wasn't infected.

But when Hazel looked at it, it looked anything but. Hazel slowly sat up and felt the wound, it didn't hurt like it did, maybe a slight dull throb, but it was far from the pain it was when she had gotten the wound inflicted and she felt for her, it had been much more of an upward mental battle with her brain. The stitches were removed but Hazel was too kicked up on adrenaline to even recognize the slight pain that gave with each stitch that came out. It felt so good to not have a bandage bound around her waist.

" Guys," Hazel said as she stepped into the room where she knew Frank and Jem would be. The two looked up from their books. Hazel showed her wound and both their eyes widened.

" You got it off!" Frank cheered jumping up from his bed like a small child, as Jem threw down his book and popped up out of the bed like popcorn. Frank reached her first and clasped her into a warm a hug as Hazel grinned excitedly. Then she hugged Jem close a smile on her face. She pulled back as she looked at the two of them.

" How are you two?" she asked.

" Bandage was removed last night, a bit hard to sit, but I'm ready to bust out," Frank said. Hazel glanced at Jem.

" Bandage was just removed, slight limp, but it's better than letting my two halves of my brain go at it." Jem said and the trio laughed. 

" The 8th, we plan on the 8th." she said, " I've already got Amelia figuring out where the 82nd and where the 101st have gone - she has intel from her head surgeon. We'll get back to our companies."

" You sound like one of those super heroes in those comic books," Jem said, " giving out all those orders and stuff." Hazel laughed lightly. 

" We gotta sike up, we're getting out of here," she said with a smile on her face as she lowered herself onto the bed.

" Or are you just excited to see Joe?" Frank called to her and she launched her book at his head. Frank stared at her with a smirk.

" I'll remember that, Tiny," Frank said with a laugh as he ducked into the bathroom. Hazel found Jem smirking at her.

" Who's Joe?" he asked.

" No one..."

" Oh right, I forgot..."

" Don't look at me like that." Hazel grumbled.

" Like what?" Jem said with a slight laugh.

" You know what Jem," she said as Jem laughed and leaned back.

" I'll give you my address to write to me when this whole thing is over, I wanna see how this plays out and how it ends," Jem said with a winning smirk her way and Hazel groaned to herself.

" He's my best friend and that's it," Hazel said, " that's it." 

" Usually someone says that's it, and then goes and kisses the other, so yeah I'm going to give you my address so you can write me." he said with a laugh and Hazel narrowed her eyes.

" You suck," she said.

" I'm a mildly wonderful human being, what could you be talking about?" Jem said and Hazel just shook her head, smirking lightly.

Hazel slowly leaned back against her bed and let out a shaky sigh, staring up at the ceiling, her mind consumed by that _dork_ , with his _fluffy_ hair, his brown eyes and that _stupid_ smirk.

Hazel let out a sigh and shut her eyes.

She'd worry about that later, right now, she needed to _get out_ of this hospital and go AWOL.

✰✰✰

_- > just a note, i know the song edelweiss, was not a song during this point of time, but it is an alternate history genre book, and i felt the song fit, so that's why i used it, i thought it'd be cute!! :) thanks for reading!_


	11. to easy company

" Goodbye is not forever. Goodbye is not the end. It simply means, I'll miss you until we meet again."

_\- Sanjeev Kumar_

✰✰✰

So with their final 2 days in the hospital, the trio ate what they could, and did what they could to figure out where Easy and the 82nd would be. Hazel had been on duty for that, as Frank and Jem were to find the transports. Hazel had headed towards the main office of the hospital and stepped inside with a smile on her youthful face.

" Hi," Hazel said brightly, putting on her best act for the secretary, " I'm from the 101st and was wondering where the transports are." The secretary slowly glanced her way and stood like one of those creepy old teachers from grade school.

" Transports leave every morning at 0800, have you not known this dear?" she asked, slowly seating herself down in the chair.

" No, actually, I've been up in Intensive Care and then I was moved to Recovery for a few weeks, I haven't been able to leave really with them monitoring my wound." she stated gently, giving a kind smile, a bit forced and Hazel bit back her tongue.

" Right, well, I'll write you a note so that pretty little head of yours remembers, alright?" the secretary said and Hazel nodded. _Perfect_. 

" Thank you," Hazel said and the secretary gave her a pity smile. Hazel bit back her lip and held her tongue.

" 0800, you will be able to report on any day of your choice at the main entrance. Let them known your division, the drivers have been keeping intel of where the companies are, they should be able to drive you out to your company and you should arrive within the next day at least." she explained handing Hazel a blue, tattered sticky note. Hazel took it and stared at it. This was their ticket out of here, tomorrow they'd be leaving. 

" I just have a quick question, I'm a paratrooper-"

" One of those Viragos, yes." the woman said nodding to her, interrupting her. Hazel stopped and stared at her wide eyed.

" Um, yes ma'am, I uh, I just want to know where the 101st and 82nd are." she said. 

" Well, dear," she said leaning back to pull out a folder, " I'm surprised your nurse hasn't told you yet about it all. They usually have the information."

' I was eager," Hazel said quickly with a nod, " real eager." The secretary gave her a bored stare and then shrugged pulling out the file.

" Most recently, the 101s has been on its way to Alsace, France, Haguenau most likely it says here. And the 82nd has been on the road to Schmithof, Germany." the secretary said to her and Hazel quickly plucked a pen from her cup filled with them and quickly wrote down her best interpretation of the names she could. Sure, it looked like a 5 year old wrote it with a shaky hand, but she needed to know. 

" You alright there, dear?" she asked Hazel. Hazel looked up with wide eyes.

" Perfectly fine, um, excited." Hazel said slightly out of breath looking at the paper with all the information. Tomorrow, the 8th, they'd be out of here. With this.

" What did you say your name was again, dear?" the secretary asked leaning forward and Hazel's breath caught.

" Oh I'm sorry I have to go," Hazel said, slowly stepping backwards, " food, yeah." The secretary watched Hazel stumble out of the office and move as fast as her wound could bear her to down the hallway.

The secretary shrugged to herself and sat back, moving back to working on her documents, as if the small woman who were perhaps a child, had just walked in.

Hazel hurried down the hall with the information. _Alsace_ \- Easy would be there, they'd be there!

Easy Company.

Her heart ached at the thought of just getting back there to see them again.

" I got it." Hazel said as she slid into where Frank and Jem sat around a tiny wooden table with a map spread in front of it. Jem waved her over and she squeezed in between the two and collapsed by their sides, placing the little blue paper in front of her. Frank and Jem looked at it but Frank glanced at her.

" Who even wrote this out?" Frank asked and Hazel narrowed her eyes.

" _Ooooh_." Frank said looking away as Hazel shoved his shoulder.

" Watch the ass, Hazel!" Frank called.

" I shoved your shoulder," she said with a giggle.

" Hey, children, focus!" Jem called and the two turned to Jem who stood like a father trying to get his children to focus. Hands on his hip, looking at the two, with those sunken in eyes.

" Waiting on you, Rossi." Frank said, waving a hand in front of him.

" Alright, tomorrow, we move out at 0730. If what it says is right, leaving at 0800, we'll miss the transports. We move out, we get down to the entrance and blend, we get on our transports and go our merry ways. Of course, I have to head to Germany, so sock me over the head." Jem grumbled as Hazel laughed lightly.

" We've waited a while for this, we'll be fine." she said.

" I know we will," Jem said with a smile. The trio looked at the map the rest of the night before mess was on the clock and the group ate what they could. They wouldn't have time for a fulfilling breakfast. Maybe a coffee on an empty stomach, but then they'd be off.

That night, Amelia made a quick visit to them, she was getting busier, the wounded were flowing in like a waterfall. It'd be the last time they'd see her.

" Can we write each other?" Hazel asked through the comforting hug.

" Of course," Amelia said, " always. You can always write me." Hazel smiled softly to herself as Amelia pulled back.

" Thank you, for being here and just being such a positive light, without you the last month would've been rough." Amelia said, " Not that I'm thanking you for getting wounded, god no, I couldn't wish that on anyone, I'm just thankful you came into my life." Hazel smiled softly.

" Thank you for coming into mine, Amelia." Hazel said and Amelia smiled hugging the girl again. In a matter of a month, she had felt like a sister. And a sisterhood never broke.

" Take this, it's my address and my parents phone number," Amelia said, " write anytime, they'll get the letter, and I'll see it once this whole thing ends." Hazel let out a laugh.

" It will, it all will." Hazel said.

" Plus I wanna know more about this Joe Liebgott and what happens between-"  
" Best friends." Hazel said quickly and Amelia smirked.

" Best friends don't talk about each other like that, Hazel Parker." Amelia said with a wise glint in her eyes. Hazel's cheeks heated. Amelia smiled at her.

" Good luck, Hazel," Amelia said and Hazel smiled.

" Thank you, Amelia." she said softly, " For everything." Amelia smiled. That night, Hazel didn't get a single nightmare like when she had in the past, her mind was clear of them. The trip to Alsace was the only thing that overflowed her entire brain. They'd be seeing Easy again in a matter of 48 hours. She had never been more excited, with butterflies flapping wildly in her stomach.

By 0700, the trio was up and moving about, taking what belongings they had, which wasn't much and heading down to the dimly lit dining hall where coffee was available 24/7.

As Hazel had left the cot which housed so many nightmares, so many struggles, she felt good to see it finally get left behind. It was moment of her life she'd never forget, but she was happy to finally leave it behind now and move on.

Those memories, those nightmares bounded her for that month, but not anymore. The three sat quietly, going over getting to the transports and moving off.

And that's when Hazel realized she wouldn't see Jem again. So as the three were moving down the back staircases Hazel gently placed a hand on Jem' shoulder.

" Thank you for everything, Jem, you've been a great friend to have, especially out here." Hazel said softly. Jem gently glanced at her.

" I think I should be the one saying that," he said to her and Hazel smiled.

" You've been my guardian angel since the beginning. You got me standing, eating, drinking, moving around, laughing again. I thought I was almost dead on that cot and then you spoke to me, Hazel. That was all it took to motivate me at my lowest. I can't thank you enough." Jem said. Hazel smiled softly, her heart warm.

" She is some guardian angel isn't she." Frank called from in front of them and the trio laughed. Hazel looked back up at him.

" I hope you get back to Phoebe and Emmy," Hazel said, " you'll have a beautiful family."

" I hope you get back to your mom, and that you can see those Tennessee stars again." Jem said and Hazel's heart ached for that.

To lie on a mountain in Tennessee with no war torn world around her, watching the stars glide over her head like the lightning bugs she always thought they were, watching down on the world, watching the world evolve and change everyday. She wanted that again.

Hazel then stopped and gently hugged him. The hug meant 1000 words that neither could say from their lips.

Since the beginning of the hospital journey, they'd helped each other heal together.

And together they were getting out of here, okay and alive and breathing.

Hazel pulled back and smiled at Jem.

" Go get your stars, Hazel." Jem told her and Hazel smiled. 

" I will." she said. And with that, they were moving down the stairs again and busting out the side door into the cold. Hazel hadn't been in the cold in so long, she had forgotten the feeling of that absolute bitterness that overwhelmed her body when she felt it on her skin.

" There, c'mon!" Frank called pointing to the trucks. The group moved as fast as they could stopping in front of the MP who stood with papers.

" Division?" he asked.

" 101st." Hazel said. The MP pointed to a truck to his right. The truck which would take them to Easy.

" 82nd." Jem said. The MP pointed to his far left.

" Well, this is it you two." Jem said and the two 101st members looked at Jem. Jem slowly saluted the two as Frank and Hazel saluted back with smiles on their faces. 

" Good luck," Jem said and the two smiled, " and get those stars Hazel, grab a fistful of them, you deserve them." Hazel felt a smile on her cheeks.

Then Jem was off, a tiny mock salute like Lizzie rolling off his fingers as he stumbled back towards his transport truck. Jem slowly jumped up onto the back of the truck with a wave and hung off the back as it slowly drove away.

" I don't wanna set the world on fire.." he said a gleeful smile on his face as he removed his helmet, hanging out the back as if he were some sort of actor in a movie. Hazel laughed as his singing slowly disappeared down the road and Frank chuckled.

Jem was gone, off to the 82nd.

Hazel hoped he'd be okay.

Hazel let out a shaky breath as she followed Frank to their transport and the two got in the back of the truck. The two squeezed in side by side and then looked at each other.

" To Easy," Hazel said holding out her hand to him. Frank smiled and grasped her hand.

" To Easy." he said and then he grinned.

The two soldiers stayed, side by side as the truck pulled away, rumbling down the cobblestone road towards Alsace, towards the French Border, the Rhine, towards Easy. Easy Company moved through the small part of Belgium they were in, back into France.


	12. haguneau

" Sometimes we need to be apart to understand just how much we truly love each other."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Many thought they would be going back to Mourmelon, but that wasn't the case. They were moved to Haguneau, France, Alsace if you will, and the trek there was an exhausting one at that.

Each night they stopped, mostly to bed down and then they were moving the next day. By the time they were pulling into Haguneau, Easy was physically and mentally and emotionally destroyed. They'd lost so many people, so many men who had been friends of many of the soldiers in the company. They had to push back at the Germans, throwing more things for the Airborne to take care of, which was not unusual, Easy was worn out though.

Lizzie had surprisingly recovered from the nasty flu that had taken over her system, but it seemed Lip had picked it up and it had turned to pneumonia.

Poor Lip. He just tried his best and got sick in the end. B

ut Lizzie returned the favor and stayed with Lip where ever he went, a smile on that pale, face. The sickness had drained her but she was eating again and drinking and her eyes were much lighter.

But with Lizzie well again, Catherine saw a stress lift from Gene.

Catherine had known Gene had been stressed for Lizzie more so than anyone with that sickness, but seeing her well again settled people - until Lip got sick then.

Poor Lip.

In early February was when they arrived at Haguneau; even though it was nice to be back in France, it was still dreadfully cold and miserable to be there, out with all the weather.

Catherine, yet not sick, always was frozen like one of the popsicles her mother made in the summer, because of the fact her body couldn't produce body heat. Attached to 2nd platoon, she didn't travel with the officers because Winters had suggested that by staying with the rest of the men, there was still a snippet of humanity for her to experience.

Malarkey had been marked platoon leader. Malarkey had been through hell and back with all his friends deaths and losses, and he was struggling mentally, but he kept up a brave face since being put in the spot. Catherine just tried masking her emotions most of the time.

It had been almost a month with Hazel, and Catherine could tell that everyone missed the woman.

Especially Joe.

Catherine had seen Joe various nights, sitting with the tiny bracelet of Hazel's in between his fingers, staring at it, memorizing it, holding it delicately in his hands, just holding it. Joe's best friend was in fact the tiny sniper, who now had no marked date of a set return.

Catherine watched Joe become increasingly stressed out and shut down a bit. But Catherine knew what was underlying in terms of Joe and Hazel. He had a smile that seemed reserved just for her, and he was only ever really happy when he was around her. She was like that bright shock of light in his life, something he needed. She was his rock, and now without his rock,

Catherine watched him float away.

She glanced towards Joe who sat on the edge of the truck, the tiny bracelet in his hands again, as his eyes remained on the tiny chain, his gloved fingers slowly running over the chain, just holding it in his hands as if Hazel was really there.

Catherine felt a pang in her heart, watching Joe as distraught as he was about Hazel's injury and evacuation. Catherine herself had to push her emotions down into the cold pits of her cold self and keep the company running even in this cold wasteland, but she knew each man and Lizzie were having their own struggles in it of itself. Catherine's entire brain felt frozen as she stared coldly at Babe's booted feet.

To say the least she was miserable, but she wasn't sick and she thanked God for that.

Lip was suffering.

" Hey, guys." Catherine heard a voice say, and she slowly turned her head to the source, her eyes squinted and hazy at the voice. She had no clue who was speaking.

_They seemed too happy._

" Some Lieutenant told me to report to 2nd." the voice said as it neared and Catherine squinted again. Then her eyes fell a bit.

It was David Webster.

Where had he gone?

No one really reacted to Webster's appearance, everyone was too worn out and exhausted to have some sort of reaction to him. Catherine sat idly and closed her eyes, jaw clenched. Jackson was staring at Webster, as if he were horrified by his appearance.

" Your name's Jackson, right?" Webster asked him.

" That's right." Jackson answered. Catherine figured that Webster must've thought Jackson was the most gullible. 

" Who's leading the platoon?" Webster asked him.

" Sergeant Malarkey is." Jackson said. 

" What, no officers?" Webster asked, shocked. Catherine would never lead a platoon, as she was attached to Battalion more so than a platoon leader.

" I guess you didn't hear." Liebgott said speaking up, his voice gruff. Catherine looked at Joe, the pain seeping through his eyes like smoke. 

" No, what's that?" Webster asked him.

" They're making Malarkey a Lieutenant." Liebgott told him, as Catherine bit back her lip, " He's on the fast track now." 

" Really, that's great." Webster said.

" Yeah, isn't it?" Liebgott said. 

" Jackson, help me up, will you?" Webster, asking throwing his bag down by their feet and climbing up in next to Jackson who moved over.

" So, uh, you come from the hospital?" Jackson asked, almost snootily. 

" Yeah." Webster said.

" Must've liked that hospital." Liebgott said quickly, " 'Cause, uh, we left Holland four months ago."

" Well, I wasn't there the whole time. There was rehabilitation, then the replacement depot." Webster started, but Liebgott stopped him.

" Well, I'm sure you tried to bust out and help us in Bastogne, Web." Liebgott said quickly. Then he sniffed. 

" I don't know how I would have done that." Webster said.

" That's funny, 'cause Popeye found a way." Liebgott said, " So did Alley, right, back in Holland?" Catherine bit her lip. Liebgott was very much right. Babe was nodding from next to him.

Catherine feared Webster would bring up Hazel.

" Where's Hazel?" Webster asked as the group went quiet, " She was part of 2nd right?" Catherine looked over slightly towards Joe, who sat staring at Webster, his emotions portrayed rawly on his face. She saw Joe's jaw tighten, as he looked away. Joe was hurting, more than anyone could imagine.

" I thought I had seen her, but it must've been Lizzie." Webster said. 

" Don't continue, Web." Catherine suddenly said, as the group looked towards the Lieutenant.

" Lieutenant McCown-"

" Please don't ask anymore questions about Hazel." Catherine told him, and Catherine felt Chuck's hand on her arm. Webster leaned away and towards Joe again confused. Joe didn't say a word except stare at him, hurting. Joe opened his mouth, speaking again and ignoring Webster's comments.

" Then there was Guarnere-" Webster cut Joe off.

" Yeah, where is Guarnere?" Webster asked, " He still your Platoon Sergeant?" Catherine ball up her hand in a fist.

" Shut up, Web." Catherine muttered, and Webster looked at the rest of the group confused.

" No," Jackson said, " He got hit."

" Alright, let's go!" Malarkey called as the truck stopped. 

" Yeah?" Webster said as he watched him stand and jump up off. As Catherine hurriedly pushed herself off, she heard Babe start telling Webster what happened. Everyone in Easy was already fairly pissed off with the situation they were in right now, with no being able to go back to Mourmelon, that bringing up traumatic moments, even though Webster didn't know about them, was like putting salt on the wound. Catherine knew Webster had good intentions, he'd been gone for four months, but Catherine still got visions of hearing about them being gone each night, the horror on Lizzie's face, the cries from Hazel, it was just a lot to have to take in.

" Spread it out! Hold along this line 'till I figure out where we're going." Malarkey called out to the moving part of the group. Catherine followed next to the group, close to Chuck, but glanced towards where Speirs stood with an MP.

The new CO seemed to be observing them as they walked by.

Then a loud whistle echoed overhead, and Catherine crouched a bit as the explosion went off in the distance. She slowly uncrouched and saw Speirs unmoved and Webster on the ground. Catherine bit her lip, but continued walking.

Everywhere was cold and slushy, and there was a slight stench that covered the area, of just rotting coldness. The buildings were mostly all bombed it with no sort of electricity and bombs flew by every so often going from side to side.

Well, it was home for now.

Lizzie was helping George take off Lip's webbing - the man was sick, sick as hell. And Lip cared for everyone, so he always went the extra mile for people, even if it was risking his health.

" Here," Lizzie said, gently taking Lip's arm to help lower him to the couch. Lip let out a tired groan as he collapsed on the ground on the couch.

" Thanks Lizzie." Lip said exhaustedly and she smiled. She had taken it as her duty to take care of Lip. He had been there for her, like Gene had when she was sick as a dog in Bastogne, now it was her turn, to aid him and return the favor, Lip deserved it.

" Let's take your temp." Lizzie said softly and Lip nodded. She slowly reached into her bag as she crouched beside Lip and took out the thermometer.

" Hey, look who it is." she heard George say and Lizzie looked over to see David Webster making an entrance into the formulated CP. He looked clean, healthy and quite possibly a little shaken up.

" Nice digs, huh, Lip?" George said after handing Lip some papers.

" Yeah," Lip answered.

" Sergeant Lipton?" Webster said, as Lizzie worked on the thermometer and gently placed it on Lip's lip.

" Hey, look what I found." Lizzie heard George say and she looked up from her crouched position to see George walking over with a fluffy blanket.

" There you go." he told him, as he straightened it out, " He's got pneumonia."

" I'm sorry to hear that." Webster said.

" Eh, what are you sorry about?" George muttered through the cigarette on his lip, " He's alive, he's got a couch, a goddamn blanket, snug as a bug."

" Yeah." Lip muttered. 

" Doc Elliot, how are you?" he asked her, nodding to her. Lizzie smiled.

" I'm okay, Web, doing okay," she said with a nod.

" She just recovered from the flu." George said and Lizzie glared at him.

" I'm sorry to hear you were sick, especially in Bastogne?" he asked her. Lizzie smiled softly.

" It's fine, I'm okay now." she said, " But thank you." Then Lizzie gave a curt smile and turned back to Lip, taking the thermometer from Lip's mouth.

" 102.5." she said and Lip sighed shaking his head. 

" Sergeant Malarkey said to check with the CO if I should be in 2nd platoon." Webster said.

" Have a seat, Webster, we'll get you situated." Lip told him, motioning him to sit down. 

" How long have you been sick?" Webster asked him.

" Long enough." Lip said, and Lizzie sadly smiled at him. Just as she was cleaning the thermometer, she watched a man walk into the door. It was a Lieutenant, a young one.

" Is this the Company CP for Easy?" he asked. Lizzie quickly moved to her feet and stood at attention as she met George's eyes where he stood over with the boxes.

" Yes, sir." Lip said as Webster stood and Vest turned around to look at him.

" As you were." the Lieutenant said, " Lieutenant Jones looking for Captain Speirs."

" He's on his way, sir, why don't you sit down?" Lip offered, to the other chair that was close by to another chair. Lizzie softly followed the Lieutenant, watching him with her eyes as he moved towards the chair. 

" Try getting some rest, Lip," Lizzie said softly, " I'll check back on you later."

" Of course, go unpack with Gene, you have a lot of stuff there." Lip said and then he smiled softly. Lizzie smiled and then walked forward as the Lieutenant met her eyes.

Her gate slowed for a moment as she met his eyes, but she just looked away and kept moving. She avoided Webster's eyes as she raced out of there. Lizzie stepped out into the streets of Haguneau and moved towards the aid station where she knew the rest of the medics would be. Lizzie's feet were light as she moved through the streets, and she managed to avoid any mortar rounds that flew through the sky to the roads.

Lizzie slowly noticed the Red Cross symbol coming into view and hurried up to the door. She slowly clasped the handle and opened the door up before stepping inside. Once she did, it instantly felt warmer and let out a sigh. She gently walked down the center hall to the open back room where the medics would all be. When she entered she immediately saw Gene there, sifting through a box of supplies, his nose just as bright of a red as it was in Bastogne. Lizzie slowly looked over and saw Oates and Mampre hauling in boxes through the side door, most likely from the truck that was outside and Spina and Pepping were sorting out multiple bottles. Lizzie sighed to herself and moved over to Gene.

The past month, Gene had really been there for Lizzie, through their ups and downs that took them on what felt like a rollercoaster. Between losing Hazel, being sick, not being able to go back to Mourmelon, they were just really there for each other and it was nice to have that sense of security there.

" Hey, Gene," she said as she approached him and gently leaned against the table and looked at the box. Gene slowly looked up and met her eyes and smiled. 

" Hey," he said and then pulled out another back of bandages, " Lip doing okay?"

" Yeah, I'm going back in a little while to check in on him again, just to keep making sure he's okay, he's been through a lot, he deserves it." Gene smiled at her.

" You feeling okay?" she asked him leaning forward. Gene gave her one of those _Lizzie-I'm fine-but-not really-looks._

" Yeah, why?" he asked her.

" Your nose." she said and Gene smirked at her.

" What about my nose?" he asked.

_Okay, now he was just playing with her._

" It's red." she said softly. Gene met her eyes.

" I'm okay," he said to her, " yours is too, you know?" Lizzie sighed and rubbed it.

" Hey, no, no, last time you did that, you got a nosebleed, remember?" Gene said as he slowly pulled her hand down from her bright red nose.

" I don't suppose you have a sufficient amount of tissues then?" she asked him lightly and Gene grinned, a rare little grin on his face.

" I wish," he said and then glanced over his shoulder towards where the other medics were, his eyes searching, " we haven't seen any." Lizzie sighed. 

" How have you been feeling? No more dizziness right?" Gene asked her.

" Nope, feeling better, a lot better." she said as she met his eyes and nodded.

" Good, you wanna help me with these?" he asked her. Lizzie dazed out for a second thinking about the nosebleed.

" Huh?"

" You wanna help me with these?" Gene asked again, a bit more concerned.

" Yeah, sure," she said and slowly walked beside him. 

" How're you feeling, mentally?" Gene asked her as the two worked slowly through the box of bandages.

" I didn't sleep last night." she said, " But it's fine, right? Who isn't used to hearing explosions in your sleep and people's cries in the night." Gene looked over at her. He watched her movements slow down as she squeezed the bandage in her hands tightly in her grasp, as if angrily and let out a shaky sigh, her knuckles were white. 

" Hey," Gene said reaching forward to place his hand over hers. Lizzie slowly met his eyes with her exhausted ones, dark circles underneath her eyes, a sign of no sleep.

" Nightmares?" Gene asked her. Lizzie let out a shaky sigh. 

" Yes," she said with a nod, and Gene felt her fist clench under his hand, " a lot of nightmares."

" Rest tonight, in the beds above, there's 8 of them, throughout the rooms, forget about everything and just get some sleep okay?" Gene said. Lizzie met his eyes. 

" But the men-"

" Lizzie," Gene said, and it cut her off, " I'm worried for you, and I hate to say it but you're not doing well." Lizzie felt tears in her eyes not because it hurt, but because it was the cold hard truth which sucker punched her in the heart. She was not okay at all.

" I'm not." she whispered, " my mind, Gene, it doesn't stop. It doesn't ever stop." Gene watched the tears fill her eyes as she spoke.

" And when I'm awake, I can't focus, I can't concentrate, even now looking at you, I want to start talking about why the sky is blue, but I can't because I have to force myself to stay on topic, or start fumbling my fingers and I feel uncontrollable. I wish I could just turn it off, flip a switch. I mean I feel stupid, now even saying it. And the voices they don't stop ever. I lay awake at night, just hearing this talking and it's my voice just saying useless things in my head. I just want it to stop." Lizzie whispered. Gene's heart broke. Lizzie let out a shaky sigh.

" Why would God put such a burden on me?" she let out in a shaky voice.

" Because he knew you could handle it," Gene said leaning down beside her, watching her, " He knew you were strong enough."

" How do you manage to always make me feel better with like one sentence?" Lizzie said with a soft smile. 

" Because you're my friend and friends need comfort, too. Even if they don't think they need it." Gene said and Lizzie smiled softly meeting his eyes. They were warm and soft, like back in the convent.

" Thanks, Gene." she said softly. 

" And I'm always here okay, I'll stay with you until you fall asleep, I know you need it." Gene said.

" You'd do that?" she asked him.

" Did you hear my friend speech?" Gene asked her and she laughed lightly.

" You're just the only one that knows about the whole disorder thing, I've been scared to tell the others," she said, " so it means a lot you know?" Gene smiled. 

" You deserve a good night of rest, Lizzie," Gene said softly and Lizzie nodded, with a small smile, " and I know it's been hard for you out there, all of it. You deserve it." Lizzie smiled softly.

" Thank you." she whispered and Gene nodded, a soft smile on his face. The softest in the world.


	13. the return

" Patience is the key because when the right time comes, it will be very beautiful and totally worth the wait."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

2nd platoon got to their new inhabitant, OP 2, a building right by the river, and Catherine only wanted to lay down. But Chuck insisted she drink something first before doing that. So, Catherine stood warily next to him and Liebgott as she awaited a drink. She yawned and shook her head as if to rid her from it. Once she did, she walked over to Malarkey and they worked through a few papers, their voices hushed.

" Hey, guys," a voice said, " this taken?"

" Go ahead." Ramirez said quietly. Catherine turned a bit and saw it was Webster and a new guy.

" Lieutenant, Sergeant, this is Lieutenant Jones." Webster said, " Just assigned to 2nd platoon." 

" Malarkey, Platoon Sergeant."

" McCown, Lieutenant, I work with Intelligence." 

" Congratulations on the battlefield commission." the Lieutenant said as Catherine's eyes widened. She heard Lieb and Chuck chuckle behind her.

" The what?" Malarkey said as Catherine looked to Webster. Had he believed it? 

" They're making you an officer, no?" the Lieutenant asked. Webster looked back at the men snickering.

" Me, no." Malarkey said," You must be thinking of 1st Sergeant Lipton." Webster just shook his head.

" My mistake." the Lieutenant said.

" So, you're without a platoon leader?" the Lieutenant asked.

" No, not any more, Lieutenant." Malarkey answered as Catherine eyed him warily.

" Right." the Lieutenant answered as Catherine saw Webster walked up to the group sipping their drinks. It grew quiet as Malarkey organized a few things and Catherine looked at the table.

" So, do you wanna introduce me to the men?" he asked.

" Well, some are sleeping downstairs, and the rest are right here." Malarkey said and Jones looked around. The group getting drinks just looked at the Lieutenant as Liebgott raised his cup a bit. Jones nodded. Catherine stepped forward towards Webster and stood by his side by the window. 

" Listen, I'm not mad at you, Web," Catherine told him, looking up at him. Webster watched her.

" They're just upset, rightfully so, Bastogne was rough on all of us," Catherine said with a nod, " We lost, a lot of people, and a lot of good men," Webster nodded, understanding what she meant.

" Just try and take it easy on some of the guys, it was rough out there for them." Catherine said, " Hazel got hit out there, she's been gone since early January. We just don't know when we'll get to see her again." Webster felt his heart drop into the pit of his chest.

" I didn't mean to make you upset." Webster said.

" I know, Web. If you ever need to talk, I'm here." she said and then stepped back with a nod and a small smile. Webster nodded as Catherine took her cup and went and leaned against Ramirez's bunk.

" Sergeant, a patrol's being planned for tonight, 0100 hours across the river." Catherine heard the Lieutenant tell Malarkey. 

" Regiment wants POWs for interrogation."

" What's the situation?" 

" Hey, Web." Liebgott said, walking over to the man by the window.

" What?" Webster asked. 

" Come here." Lieb said putting a hand on his shoulder.

" I wanna talk to you for a second, come here." Lieb said. 

" Why?" Webster protested.

" You want some coffee?"

" No." Webster said. Liebgott curiously watched him and leaned up against the bed post as Catherine quietly sipped her coffee from her cup.

" 15." Liebgott said to Jackson. 

" 15 what?" Jackson asked him.

" Louie's since D-Day." Liebgott said. He was right; they'd gone through 15 Lieutenants at least. Catherine had seen all those Lieutenants move through; she remained one of the only constants. 

" Is this kid out of high school yet?" Joe asked.

" He's out of West Point." Webster answered, and Catherine glanced back at him with a raised brow. 

" West Point?" Liebgott asked, as Catherine raised a brow.

" Isn't that where Ike went?" Jackson wondered.

" Yeah, he actually graduated with his son." Webster answered.

" Shit." Jackson said.

" So, uh, what do you know about this patrol thing?" Liebgott turned to Webster, asking him in the dim light.

" Uh, nothing." Webster stated. Catherine raised a brow. 

" Oh, come on, Web, you gotta know something." Ramirez stated, looking up at the man.

" I don't." Webster countered. 

" Bullshit." Liebgott said, " You were there, right, at the CP?"

" This is a prisoner snatch, right?" Liebgott asked again. 

" Hey, Chuck, listen to this." Babe said as Chuck moved by.

" Come on, Webster, spill it." Liebgott said, as Catherine sipped her drink quietly again, and McClung sat down next to Babe.

" Captain Speirs is to pick 15 men and a woman," Webster said and Catherine saw Liebgott's eyes shoot to hers, " Lieutenant Jones wants to be one of them."

" I say let the kid go." Liebgott said, " He could use the experience." 

" Probably could find 14 replacements to help him out." commented Ramirez. Joe laughed.

" So, he got anyone?" Liebgott asked him. 

" Not that I know of." Webster answered, and Catherine raised a brow again, in evident confusion.

" You said woman, Web," Catherine said looking at him, " I'm the only woman." Webster seemed to sigh and look away. 

" Why are you holding out on me? I know you know." Lieb told him.

" Just give us the names, Web." Ramirez said. 

" Who?" questioned Joe.

" There are three men, here in this room, that they think should be on the patrol." Webster said.

" Who?" Ramirez muttered.

" Well, if I tell you, you can't let on that you know." Webster said. 

" Your secret's safe, Web. Who is it?" Joe asked. Webster looked at Babe who shook his head.

" Yeah, Heffron." Webster said. 

" Ah, shit!" muttered Babe, as Hazel bit her lip worriedly.

" McClung. And you." Webster said looking at Ramirez. 

" He also wants Catherine," Webster said looking toward her. Catherine merely sighed and sipped down the rest of her drink. What a surprise.

" He want any others from any other platoon?" Joe asked him. 

" No, no, I don't know." Webster said, " Not that I know of."

" Look, that's all I know, I'm sorry." Webster said. In the back of Catherine's mind, she was thinking, there were still 11 other guys they were picking. 

" Listen up, got some bad news!" Malarkey called, as he stepped forward toward them all.

" There is a patrol set for tonight." he said and Catherine just sipped her coffee again, only a few sips away from empty. 

" And so far, Speirs wants McClung-"

" We know." McClung said. 

" Yeah, we just fucking heard." Babe said, and Catherine looked at Malarkey with sad eyes.

" Webster here told us." Ramirez said as the phone rang suddenly. 

" Easy white." Malarkey said as he picked it up. Catherine glanced towards the men, watching Joe stare at Webster who was organizing his bed the best he could.

" The PX rations just came in. Including, winter shoe packs." Malarkey said stepping forward.

" Oh thank god." muttered Catherine as Malarkey smiled softly at her. Her feet had been numb for so long.

" Beautiful, good of 'em, now that we're in a nice warm house." Liebgott muttered and Catherine sighed. Boy was the sarcasm thick.

" Also, we get showers." Malarkey said and Catherine's eyes widened. She hadn't had a shower in months. Since Mourmelon on their last day there. Suddenly an explosion echoed out in the distance.

" Alright, let's move!" Malarkey yelled, " Clear it out!" Catherine grabbed her weapon and helmet, and raced out just behind Babe, as the whistles of explosions propelled themselves closer to OP2. 

" Incoming!" she heard Joe yelled as he pushed open the door to the basement. The minute Catherine got into the basement, she curled up in a corner, and pushed her hands over her head and squeezed her eyes shut. Only a bit of dust fell on them.

" Showers, let's go, come on." Malarkey called. Catherine headed out of the basement and into the outside, her weapon drawn as she stood by his side, as they waited for everyone else to arrive there.

A distant explosion went off and Catherine looked to the source.

" Somebody's been hit!" someone yelled. Catherine was already running towards the source as the rest of the group followed as well as many other men.

" Who is it?" someone called as the group approached.

" Bill Kiehn." someone said. Catherine slowly stepped closer to see Gene was already on it, filling out papers and pulling the dog tag from his neck. Alley was nearby, mumbling about how it happened. Then all the sudden, Speirs pushed through. He began telling people to do certain things, but Catherine's eyes were on Bill. Her heart saddened.

" Catherine," a voice said and she saw it was Chuck. She nodded and began to follow him away but glanced back again to look at Bill. Her heart saddened. Catherine walked by Chuck's side toward the showers, thinking about how quickly something like that can just happen. It was terrible.

When the group got to the showers and had laid their weapons down, Catherine's heart had sunk. She'd shower with the men. She didn't give a crap though, she wanted to be clean; she'd lived with them for over a year and a half now, who cared.

" 2nd platoon, on me." Malarkey called suddenly and the group looked up and slowly moved towards him. The group stood around Malarkey as Catherine shivered, anxiously awaiting some warm water.

" Alright, I'm leading this patrol," Malarkey said and Catherine looked at him with big sad eyes.

" CO wants Grant, Liebgott, Wynn, Jackson," Jackson walked away muttering to himself, " Shifty from 3rd platoon, and Webster." 

" They want anyone from 1st?" Cobb asked.

" No." Malarkey answered. 

" Is there anyone they don't want from 2nd?" Liebgott asked him, a bit sarcastically, " Jesus Christ."

" That list sounds like everybody to me." Malarkey said and walked away in defeat. Catherine sighed looking at the group. She'd been in 2nd platoon ever since she was placed there. They'd been through so many people, especially with Bill gone now. She wondered where him and Joe were. 

" It's always 2nd platoon." Joe said and Chuck nodded," I swear to god if we were down to three guys they'd still want us for it."

" I can't believe they're gonna make Malarkey lead it." Chuck said. Catherine shook her head.

" Yeah, bullshit." she muttered, melodramatically.

" Christ, he only lost his five best friends. The fuck's he gotta live for." Babe said.

Catherine slowly pulled off her coat as she approached the entrance to the showers, and then stripped to her bra, and then she pulled her boots off and then her belt and then her pants. Her dog tags clanked together. Then she handed the guy with the old ODs, her stuff, as he stood wide eyed and she walked inside without a care in the world. Catherine was showering, not really caring at all, as she soaped up and washed off, and washed her hair. Dirt and blood fell from her body. She scrubbed at her hair and felt it become soft again. Her hair hadn't been washed in so long. Catherine put soap on her self and began washing off again. When she finally finished she ran out rather quickly, and wrapped herself in a towel in the small area where she could dress in fresh ODs. She pulled on fresh ODs as she shivered and grabbed her new winter shoe pack. Then she did a quick glance around and gratefully pulled pants on. She looped the belt through and had to pull it tighter than normal. B

ut she'd lost weight in Bastogne from not eating right. She then felt her dog tags clank together and quickly pulled on a shirt, a sweater and then her OD top and buttoned it up quickly and she felt so much warmer. She pulled on the wool socks and then pulled on her new boots, which was weird.

They were stiff like the rest of her ODs were. It was so weird because it was all so stiff from being new. She hadn't had new ODs in so long or even a shower that she forgot what it felt like. She tried her best at wringing out her long, soaking wet hair, but gave up and hastily braided up her hair with two elastics she always had on her wrist. When she tied them off she pulled on a wool cap and then stuck on her helmet. Then she walked out. Catherine walked over and grabbed her rifle, and watched as the other boys walked over, washed and cleaned in new ODs, with their hair dripping wet.

" I think I forgot what being clean was like," Chuck said as he picked up the rifle from next to where Catherine stood. Catherine laughed to herself. 

" I heard there's chocolate with supply that came in." Joe said as he walked over to the group. Catherine's eyes widened as she looked at him.

" Chocolate?" she asked him. He nodded with a smirk upon his lips. Hazel would've wanted that chocolate.

" Lots of it." Joe said. Catherine hadn't had chocolate in what felt like such a long time. Her mouth watered at the sound of chocolate.

Lizzie had been off, after the shower to grab medical supplies from where George kept a stash usually in the company CP. After the talk with Gene, she felt better, he just had a way of calming her down that she appreciated. Lizzie was attempting to pull a box off the shelf but was struggling to say the least.

" Need help?" a voice asked and Lizzie turned to see George standing there, against the door post. She glared at him.

George and her were good friends, she'll give him that, but the asshole preferred to get a laugh out of her short height every once and a while.

" What do you think?" she asked him and George chuckled stepping forward.

" Not like you're much taller." she mumbled and she heard George laugh lightly as he pulled the box down into his arms and then carefully placed it in her arms.

" But I'm taller." he said as the two walked out of the storage room.

" Rubbish." she murmured and George cackled.

" Since when did you turn British?" George asked her. Lizzie chuckled softly shaking her head.

" Those chocolates?" she asked him, noticing the rather large box of sweets.

" You've guessed correctly." he said and pulled out one of the chocolate bars. Her eyes widened.

" Catch." he said and tossed it to her and she gladly took it in her hands.

" Really?"

" Hell yeah, you enjoy that." George said as he smirked at her. Lizzie grinned as she stowed it away in her pocket. She smiled.

" What can I say? I'm a miracle worker." George said.

" Yeah some miracle worker," muttered Johnny as he strode in with Cobb just behind him, " managed to laugh his way through the majority of training and is still here, some fucking miracle."

" Real funny, Johnny." George said shaking his head as Lizzie laughed. 

" Chocolate?" Cobb asked, " The army growing soft?"

" Wow, Roy, thought you'd be happier to see something other than that slop they call food." George said a bit sarcastically. Roy made a face as George chuckled. 

" Can you give us any?" Johnny asked.

" Can I give ya any? You nuts, Johnny, these are supplies." George said. 

" Right and I'm an idiot." Cobb said and the group of 3 looked at him.

" Okay not the best analogy, but c'mon it's just one bar." Cobb said.

" Yeah, how about a bar, you got that?" Johnny asked, as George shook his head looking back down at the chocolate bars only slightly irritated.

" Goddammit, Johnny, you're breaking my heart, I'm telling you." George said as he looked down at the chocolates in front of him, as Lizzie slowly picked her way through her box. 

" Come on, George, just give me, I don't know, 10, 15 bars." Johnny compromised.

" You know what, here you go," George said and reached into the box next to Lizzie's, " Juicy Fruit, happy?" Lizzie looked up and watched as Cobb laughed and Johnny watched George in surprise. 

" We just got a report of movement." Vest said as he slammed a box down by her side.

" 1st Sergeant Lipton wants you to lay a few Bazooka rounds into a house across the river." Vest told George. 

" You'd think we could get at least one Hershey bar from the-'

" Come on Luz, you're 1st platoon at heart." Coob called interrupting Johnny.

" Jesus, Cobb, there's not enough." Luz said, at the moment, Catherine, Liebgott, Webster and the new Lieutenant all walked in. Lieutenant Jones.

" Whoa, Herhsey bars!" Liebgott called as his eyes caught sight of the delicacy.

" Jesus Christ." Luz said. 

" Wait your turn, Liebgott." Cobb hollered at him.

" Yeah, who are they for?" Liebgott asked, looking at them chocolates as Catherine stepped closer. 

" The - _not you Lieb._ " George hollered at him, as Catherine glanced towards him with a smirk. George was stressed, this was his little supply moment, not everyone else's. She gave a sympathetic smile.

" Oh, come on, George, one bar." Liebgott whined. 

" No, there's not enough to go around." George exaggerated holding the Hershey's in his hand.

" Cap'n Speirs, here?" the Lieutenant asked him. 

" Uh, down by the river, sir.." George told him and Jones nodded. Catherine watched the chocolate in front of her, Liebgott sitting down beside Catherine and setting up shop. She figured he was going to find a way to obtain at least one Hershey bar if not more. It was a very Liebgott thing to do.

" Hey, big mouth, give the kid a Hershey bar, huh?" a voice suddenly said, and everyone looked over to see it was Frank Perconte. Clean face, clean ODs, a slightly exhausted looking but happy smile, a happy smile that he was seeing his friends again. 

" You gotta be shittin' me." George called, as the group smiled, seeing a member of Easy back with them.

" What's up, guys and of course ladies." he said as Lizzie and Catherine smiled at him brightly, as Johnny made a bee line for him.

" I like what you did with the place, George." Frank said as he gazed around the rather exploded room of the house. 

" Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did good, huh?" George said as he gazed around the room as well as the group laughed.

" How you feeling?" George asked him.

" As long as you keep your hands off my ass I'll be fine." Perconte said and Catherine laughed.

" Have a Hershey." George called to Frank and threw a bar to the man. 

" Hey, he gets a fuckin' Hershey bar?" Liebgott asked quickly, looking up from his seat against George's table.

" Well, he got shot in the ass." George told him dramatically. Catherine snickered.

" Did I tell you to stick your big ass out in the wind?" Martin asked Perconte with a slight laugh.

" Well no, but I expect a little sympathy from you." Perconte said, " Right?"

" Well should I rub it for you?" Martin asked a bit sarcastically.

" Get the fuck outta here."

" Hey, can you believe this guy?" Johnny called as the group looked at him, " Try to get him out of the fucking war, he comes straight back."

" Yeah, well, that's not what I heard." Perconte said as he stepped forward towards Lizzie who was looking at him with a confused, raised brow, " I heard the Krauts are finished."

" Yeah, well, just to make sure, we've gotta row across the fucking river tonight, grab a few and ask them in person." Liebgott said.

" Are you kidding me?" Perconte asked. 

" Wish I was, welcome back, Frank." Joe said. Catherine blew out her cheeks.

" Yeah, oh, Jesus, that reminds me, Web." George said as he turned around and hauled up a wooden box, " I need you to run these to OP 2 for me. Grenade launchers for the night patrol, huh?" Webster was slow on placing his helmet on his head.

" Any day, now, Web, there you go." George said as Webster finally took the box.

" Hey, you know what, send these too." George said as he began throwing little boxes in the already filled back. Lizzie glanced inside it as Webster watched George throw little back after little box inside.

" Hey, hey, hey," Vest called, " did you hear what happened on D Company's patrol last night?"

" What?" Joe asked him.

" Replacement Lieutenant blew his foot off. Stepped on a shoe mine." Vest said as Hazel glanced at him. Jesus.

" Fresh in from West Point." Vest stated, " Had to come back empty handed." 

" No shit," George said looking at him as he placed a cigarette on his lip, " maybe he's a friend of yours, Lieutenant." Jones glanced at George.

" Hey, Vest, what you got in there?" Cobb started, " More Hershey bars and Lucky Strikes, for your rear-echelon fucks to hoard, huh?"

" Hey, 'ey, 'ey, Cobb, with the mouth, please. The kid's just trying to do his job, alright? You got 2 ladies in the room as well, Jesus Christ." George said as Lizzie smiled softly. 

" You know what, to hell with it." George said throwing everything he's counted down to the ground, as Vest cursed.

" Count 'em up Vest, I gotta go blast this house." George said as he picked up his weapon. Clara had to cackle to herself.

" You happy now?" Vest asked Cobb sarcastically.

" You coming, Perco?" George asked as he stepped past him, " Make yourself useful, watch this shit for me, alright. Web, you're coming with me?" Webster struggled to hold the box as he turned around to follow after George.

" Sergeant, is Captain Speirs gonna be where you're headed?" Jones asked him.

" Hey, Vest, one bar it's all I need." Liebgott said trying to convince the man who shook his head. 

" Uh, same vicinity, yeah." George answered.

" Alright, then I'll join you." 

" Where are we going?' Webster asked as he stepped up next to them.

" To the house I gotta blast." George said exhaustedly. 

" Is Captain Winters gonna be with him?" Vest called out.

" Jesus, look, I don't know, maybe." George said. 

" Then I'm coming too." Vest said as he pushed past the group as the men moved in on the free chocolates.

" Alright, come on, guys, please." Perconte said as he tried to push back the guys who began picking stuff out of the box. Catherine and Lizzie looked at each other and then quickly moved out of the door into the blistering cold, their helmets secured tightly on their heads. 

" I would've thought Hazel would've been with him," Lizzie whispered softly, looking up towards Catherine with sad eyes. Catherine let a sad smile past her lips.

" Me too," Catherine admitted, " I miss her." 

" Miss who?" a voice asked and both Lizzie and Catherine froze.

Catherine met Lizzie's eyes and then the two women looked over their shoulders to see in fact Hazel Parker walking right towards him.

There was a smile, a beautiful smile on her face, one that spread across her lips, making her dimples appear, one in each cheek.

And her eyes, her eyes were bright, and beaming, the blue a deep and gentle calm, like the ocean, and the helmet, mildly big lay lopsided on her head.

And her hair was pulled back into a low bun, with some strands around her face, brushing against her pale cheeks.

And she was glowing, she really was, even in the middle of this nightmare, she was glowing like the sun.

She had a slight limp, but her steps were light and almost immediately Catherine felt hit with wanted warmth and care.

It was really Hazel.

It was Hazel Parker.


	14. a mere moment of time

" I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

\- Martin Luther King Jr.

✰✰✰

" Hazel," Catherine whispered, her voice trembling as she spoke, " Hazel!" Catherine didn't hesitate to race forward, tears forcing their way into her eyes, as she reached the woman and wrapped her arms around Hazel, pulling her close and holding her. Holding her as close as she could, and not wanting to let go. She didn't want to ever see Hazel like that again, ever again in her lifetime. Catherine let out a tiny cry.

" Hazel." cried out Catherine, squeezing her eyes shut as a tear streaked down her cheek. It had all happened so fast, Hazel just appearing like some sort of God from the light.

And then when Catherine felt Hazel's tiny arms wrap around her and pull her close, Catherine broke in Hazel's arm.

And Catherine wasn't sure why she was crying, Hazel was fine.

Perfectly and beautifully fine.

But seeing Hazel, like that, so hurt, so innocent, so pure, so just out there with a wound brandishing her side like a hot iron torch, made Catherine's heart ache. It had ached for a month, for too long. Catherine slowly pulled back and placed her hands on Hazel's shoulders.

" Is it really you?" Catherine whispered watching Hazel's eyes meet hers, that tiny giggle leaving her mouth. Hazel smiled.

" Of course it's me." Hazel said softly and Catherine laughed, a mixed one between a laugh and cry.

" I thought you would be gone for so long," Catherine whispered, as a tear trickled down her cheek and Hazel gently wiped it away with a brush of her finger. Catherine smiled.

" Hazel!" Lizzie called and came flying into Hazel's arm. Hazel let out the most joyous laughs as she hugged Lizzie close. Then Lizzie was crying as she pulled back.

" You make me too damn emotional, Hazel." Lizzie managed through a voice that broke by that end. Hazel laughed lightly.

" Aw come on you guys can't have missed me too much." she said.

" You wouldn't believe it." Catherine said, swallowing back a slight cry. Hazel's eyes were shining.

" We missed you so much." Lizzie whispered and Hazel felt those tears skyrocket as well. Hazel nodded, biting back her trembling lip, trying to stay strong.

" I missed you guys, too." Hazel managed out, wiping a tear that trailed down her cheek.

" So much." Hazel whispered, " I realized a lot of things in that hospital and I really love you both, so much. I really do." Catherine bit back her trembling lip.

The three of them had seen each other all the way through training, the boat ride to England, their training with their Special Op members, and their training with the boys, until the war arrived. Lows and highs, good and bad. They'd been there for each other. Hazel couldn't help but bring both girls into a hug, as the three women wrapped their arms around one another, holding each other, just there for each other, arms laced like bows.

" I went AWOL." Hazel said softly and both Lizzie and Catherine pulled back with wide eyes.

" You, Hazel Parker, who refused to take a second helping on your tray in Bragg, went AWOL?" Catherine said and Hazel laughed.

" I know how crazy is sounds, but Frank and my friend Jem busted out." Hazel said, " I needed to come back to the company. I really needed to." Catherine felt her heart warm.

" Who's Jem?" Lizzie asked and Hazel smiled fondly.

" A dear little friend." Hazel said softly, " A really good friend." Catherine and Lizzie smiled, soft gentle, admirable smiles that made Hazel grin.

" I would've come in with Frank, but I started talking to Lip and I feel horrible, so I stayed a bit just to see him." Hazel said innocently.

" Man, you would've missed all the guys hoarding the chocolates, that would've been a sight." Catherine said and Hazel laughed.

" It was pretty hard, being there, not knowing where any of you were, my mind just a reck," Hazel said shaking her head, " I'm glad I'm back."

" We're so glad you're back," Catherine said softly, " really glad."

" How's Don been?" Hazel asked softly and Catherine and Lizzie met eyes. Hazel had worried for him the entire ride over, but she figured everyone was worried for him. He'd been through so much and was still fighting.

" Okay I'd say, he's a platoon leader, so he's stressed, and I know he doesn't say it, but he's still dealing with the losses." Catherine said softly, " He's strong." Hazel let out a soft breath.

" I felt a lot of grief, in the hospital, about all of it, about Malarkey losing his 5 best friends." Hazel whispered, " I felt horrible. Too much guilt." Lizzie gently wrapped an arm over Hazel's shoulder, rubbing it softly.

" Being back, even though we're still like this, I feel a lot better," she said, " and I had friends there that helped me a lot."

" Frank and...Jem?" Catherine asked her. Hazel nodded with a smile.

" When I was there, Jem was brought it on a stretcher and I didn't see him move for days, he wouldn't eat or drink or take medicine, he was so skinny. But he said I was the one that helped him back onto his feet, and I don't know, I just started thinking, if it was God's path for me, to get hit and go there and make sure Jem didn't die?" Hazel said softly. Catherine smiled, a tender smile.

" Jem was lucky to have you, Hazel," Catherine whispered and Hazel smiled.

" I missed you two so much," Hazel said with a slight laugh.

" C'mon," Lizzie said, looping her arm through Hazel's," let's head back to OP 2, I'm pretty sure the boys are gonna be pretty happy when they realize you're back for good." Hazel softly blushed and giggled.

" I missed them, I missed you all so much." Hazel said softly and Catherine grinned.

" C'mon," Catherine said and Hazel grinned as the happy trio of Viragos moved off towards OP 2 with a bit more happiness than ever before.

" Hey!' Catherine called as they stepped into the basement, " You'll never believe who washed up!" And as Hazel stepped inside, all eyes turned to the doorway. You could hear a pin drop. Then there was voices everywhere.

" Hazel!"

" Tiny!"

" Hazel!"

There were just voices everywhere and before Hazel could even think she was scooped up int a warm hug courtesy of Chuck. There were hugs from everyone; Don, Bull, Martin, Babe, Popeye, Skinny, Alley, Jackson and surprisingly David Webster, back from the hospital. Hugs went to everyone and there was a lot of laughs and warm smiles. Each and every interaction brightened her day. She loved each one of them. Her entire heart was full. And this was just a handful of them.

" Shifty!" Hazel called, once she noticed the man coming through the crowd.

" Hazel!" he called, dropping his tin cup to the ground to hurry forward and wrap the girl in a soft hug. Hazel wrapped her arms around him a soft smile on her face as she knew he was grinning. The two pulled back and Shifty watched her.

" How are you?" he asked holding her gently.

" I'm okay, Shifty," she said softly, " a little sore, but I'm just glad to be back."

" I heard you went AWOL." he said to her and she broke into laughs, nodding as Shifty laughed.

" Man, I missed you," Shifty said, " I had to go and be foxhole partners with Cobb."

" Aw, Shifty, really?" she said, placing a hand on his arm.

" No, no, I'm just kidding," Shifty said and Hazel laughed lightly, " Catherine took me in." Hazel smiled.

" I'm glad," Hazel said, " and I'm glad you're okay, all in one piece." Shifty laughed lightly, and it seemed to be one of those real genuine ones, like you haven't laughed in a while.

" I'm just glad you're back." Shifty said, " Real glad, all the guys are." Hazel grinned.

Besides Joe and the girls, Shifty had to be one of her closest friends in the company, the just understood each other, very deeply.

Through all the festivities Hazel's eyes searched for Joe, her mind traveling to him.

Where was he?

" Hey, uh, Cath?" Hazel asked, moving towards her, " Where's Joe?" Catherine raised a brow and then looked around.

" He's not here?" Catherine asked her. Hazel's eyes saddened.

" No, is he okay? He's not injured right?" Hazel asked softly.

" No! No, he's okay, I just thought he'd be down here. Maybe he's upstairs." Catherine suggested.

" Can I go look?" Hazel asked her softly. Catherine smiled.

" Of course, the door over there, head up, if any place he's there." Catherine said and Hazel smiled. Hazel slowly headed up the stairs, looking around the stairwell and then stepping up into the top room. Hazel slowly removed her helmet and stepped forward, looking around at the bunks, which held some of the mens' things. Hazel smiled softly, and gently touched the bunks, they were warm. She smiled softly. Hazel then slowly stepped forward and stopped.

There sat on a bunk, with a tiny gold chain reflecting in his hand was Joe Liebgott. Her heart hammered in her chest. Joe's back was to her for the most part, and he kept gently running his thumb over the chain as he held it in his grasp, she even heard a small chuckle escape from his lips. Hazel bit back her lip.

The scene was so out of the ordinary.

To see Joe alone and away from everyone, so detached, so surrounded by emotions. Hazel didn't know what to say, or how to approach him. She softly smiled and then stepped forward.

" Didn't think you still had that thing," she said softly, her voice breaking slightly at the end of it. In that moment, Joe's thumb froze on the chain and his body went rigid. Then he slowly looked over his shoulder and his beautiful eyes met hers.

" Hazel?" he whispered, his voice shaking, as he slowly started to take in it was real - all of it. Hazel stood with soft eyes, watching Joe look at her with his own big eyes.

With each step he took, Hazel watched his facade crumble, and when he reached her, his arms didn't fly around her in a rushed frenzy; they came around her so softly, so gently, so lovingly, and he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head and held it there for a few minutes, before placing a hand on the back of her head to just hold her there.

" Are you really here?" he managed out.

" I'm here, I'm right here." she whispered, as she squeezed him tighter, tears flooding into her eyes. It was so quiet, but for a moment, it was just the two of them, holding each other. It didn't need to be a glorious hug in the face of everyone, it just needed to be them, and that's all that mattered. Hazel shoved her head into his neck, holding her eyes closed so that she didn't cry right then and there like she did with women. But standing there in Joe's arm, made her realize how much she had missed him, everything about him.

" I missed you more than you can ever imagine Hazel, believe me." he whispered softly in her ear and her heart skipped a beat. She hoped Joe didn't feel it. Hazel felt the tears flood her eyes again and she bit back her trembling lip as she pressed a hand to her mouth.

When had she last seen just Joe? It must've been the night they talked about the stars, curled in each other's sides, in a cold foxhole, one with the world. Hazel slowly pulled back and finally met Joe's eyes. A small smirk was on his face.

" Hey, hey, don't cry, I'm right here," he said reaching up to gently brush the tear that trailed down her cheek. Hazel gave a weak laugh.

" I missed you, too, Joe." she managed to say softly, sniffling, as more tears brimmed in her eyes. 

And then Joe just stared at her and took her in, everything about her.

And those eyes.

Those beautiful blue eyes.

" What?" Hazel whispered, another sniffle leaving her nose. Joe gave a small smile, his eyes meeting hers.

" You're as beautiful as the day you got hit." he whispered to her. Hazel's eyes widened a bit as she watched him. Hazel's heart was beating rapidly inside her chest, it was so fast, like it was knocking against the doors of her rib cage waiting to explode. But suddenly she crumbled again, and more tears just streamed down her cheeks like a waterfall.

" Aw Parker, it's okay," Joe said and his soft voice, made her blink away those tears. She nodded, biting back her lip. The hospital had been such a life changing and spiritual experience to her, and now being back, her emotions were everywhere.

" I'm just glad to be back, really." she whispered.

" We're glad you're back," Joe said, " I'm really glad you're back." Hazel smiled softly, sniffling again.

" How is it?" Joe asked, his eyes averting down to her side, " Your side?" Hazel softly pressed a hand to it and then met his eyes.

" It's okay, it's healing, it's healing well," she said, " we actually went AWOL to be here." Joe's eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face as he looked at her shaking his head.

" I told you the sneaky ones were the best." he whispered softly and she slapped his arm with a small smile. Joe laughed.

" Clearly didn't take away any power in that slap, Parker." he said and Hazel laughed lightly, her cheeks even dusting pink at the tops.

" I heard Speirs made CO." Hazel said looking at him, a smile on her face," You got rid of Dike."

" I wish you'd been there to see it, it was like a movie." Joe said, " C'mere sit down, I'll tell you everything." Joe gently wrapped an arm over her shoulder and lead her towards little chairs that looked out of the main door across the river. Hazel slowly sat herself down and then curled up before looking over at Joe.

" What was it like? This movie scene?" she asked with a tiny giggle. Joe smirked.

" Supposedly, Dike was up against this hail bale, George's words not mine, and he was giving these orders and we were getting killed out there, it was a mess." Joe said, " But then, this guy comes running down from where HQ is and is Speirs! I couldn't believe it. And he got us moving quickly, all through the rest of the town. And you wanna know something even crazier?" Hazel leaned forward nodding excitedly like a small child.

" He ran through the town to get I Company, all the way on the other side and then that fucking lunatic came back." Joe said and Hazel let out a gleeful laugh, and Joe laughed, " I'm serious, Parker, came running back, like there was a bubble around him, no bullets hitting him." Hazel laughed again and Joe just smiled leaning back.

" I'm not laughing at Speirs I'm laughing at you." Hazel said, and Joe smirked, " You would be a funny storyteller."

" I think you're the only one that thinks that, Parker." Joe said and Hazel smiled softly, " But that's the only thing that matters." Hazel laughed lightly, even if her heart flipped again inside her chest and was pounding rapidly.

" How about you? The hospital? How was it?" Joe asked her leaning forward.

" I helped someone survive." she said softly, meeting his eyes, " They thought they'd come there to die, he told me he wished he had died out there. I told him I wasn't going to allow that to happen."

" Reality Joe, I never realized how much it sucked until I got into that hospital. I mean with the war and all, it already sucked." she whispered shaking her head, " I saw so much death, and I'm not even a medic. I saw things there that I'd never want a child to see, like the ones I'd see playing in the snow. I hoped that they'd never see what horror the war brought."

Hazel's head traveled to someplace dark. She stared at her hands suddenly, which had held the blood of her own, watching as it pooled from the wound that had nearly sliced her open in Bastogne. No, no, no this wasn't happening, not here, not now. Hazel shut her eyes, as her heart rate increased and she suddenly felt encapsulated by an undesirable fear that was too overwhelming to even comprehend.

" Hazel." a voice said and Hazel almost immediately snapped out of it, staring at Joe with wide eyes, her heart rats slowly lowering, as trembling breaths left her lips. Hazel bit back her lip.

" I get flashbacks, a lot," she said nodding, and shutting her eyes, " I hate it." Joe squeezed her hands tighter in his as he watched her struggle.

" Hey, let me help, what do you want me to do?" he asked softly. He did anything for his friends; anything. Anyone he loved. He'd drive through hell for them.

" Can you just sit here with me?" she whispered, her voice shaking.

" Always," Joe whispered, his thumb soft on her hands as they held hers in his, " all the time."

" One night, Joe," she whispered, " I had a dream where I held a baby. The most adorable baby, with blue eyes, and the widest grin, a little tooth poking through her gum, her little fists balled up, as she giggled. And she didn't want to be held by me, by my hands, because my hands have touched too much blood." Hazel met Joe's eyes, her voice shaking.

" I-..." Hazel's voice cut off as she squeezed her eyes shut, " will this pain go away, these fears?"

" I can't promise you they'll go away," Joe whispered softly, " but I promise you won't fight those fears alone, alright?" Hazel nodded.  
" Don't listen to those dreams, alright?" Joe whispered, " They're just dreams, I think any baby would love to be held by you." Hazel smiled softly.

" A baby, a child it's just, it's so innocent, for a war like this that just the image, in my mind of that baby, it hurts a lot to just see that in my mind." she said. Then she looked at Joe who sat watching her so intently.

" I missed you, Joe." she whispered, her voice breaking. She missed him and even if there was a lot of grey area around the word best friend, for now, she was grateful for just a best friend, someone who supported her no matter what and would listen to her pour her heart out and not get judged and then probably find a way to make her laugh.

Joe was all of that and more. He softly squeezed her hands as she bit back her lip.

" I missed you, too, Parker." he said softly and she smiled the best she could.

" The hospital..." Joe said, " what was it like otherwise?" Hazel watched him.

" A hospital," she whispered, " but to me it was more. It was a mental battle that I thought I'd never engage in when I already had this war going on around me." Joe watched her and squeezed her hand tighter, sitting right by her feet, which failed to touch the ground even in her chair.

" Just everything, wishing I had made a different decision or had been smarter, I don't know, I can't describe it." she said. Joe softly watched her, titling his head like a puppy.

" It's more of a feeling you know? One that's hard to describe, like too many different emotions fighting for the top spot. I just don't have one feeling about it all, but I know in the end it was good for me, even if it sucked going into it." she said. Joe watched this girl. She spoke so eloquently, and was wise beyond her years, it amazed him.

" I wish I could tell you more about the feeling, I know you'd listen." she whispered. Joe smiled.

" Well, if you do find that feeling, you come and find me because I'll sit down, kick up my feet and listen to every word you say, promise." he said and Hazel smiled.

" Thanks, Joe." she said.

" I don't think you'll be thanking me anymore when I tell you Malark's cooking tonight." Joe said with a slight smirk and Hazel laughed, a real genuine laugh.

" He's not that bad, Joe," Hazel said softly, rubbing his warm hand.

" I know," Joe said, " c'mon, you'll love it."

The two left the room, the two sturdy chairs, sitting in the lonely wind, staring out towards the the German side of the Rhine, a silent whisper of a long lost conversation being picked up by the soft glance of the wind that rushed by.

A mere moment in time.

When they got downstairs though, Speirs was in the basement. And he was talking quietly to Catherine who nodded, exhaustion on her entire face.

" Hazel," Speirs said noticing her enter the basement. Hazel smiled softly.

" Hello, sir," she said stepping forward from Joe's comforting arm.

" It's glad to see you back," he said, " I hope you're feeling better." Hazel grinned. She nodded.

" Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked her.

" Of course," she said and glanced at the group before following Speirs out of the room. Speirs opened the door for her and she slowly placed her helmet on her head as she walked up the stairs into the outside world turning to see Speirs coming up the stairs putting his helmet comfortably on his head. It was cold out, Hazel could feel it seeping into her bones but she was curious as to what Speirs had to tell her. Speirs walked out towards the edge of the river, in a shielded area where you could still see the clouded skies of Germany.

" Have you heard about the patrol set for tonight?" Speirs asked her. Hazel cautiously looked up at him from under the brim of her helmet and let out a soft sigh.

" No, sir." she said. Speirs glanced her way.

" I've only heard that you're CO and made a run back in Foy," she said with a small smile. Speirs actually smiled, a real smile and nodded.

" And I heard that you would be someone to do the same," he said back to her and Hazel felt a tiny smile prickle at the corners of her lips.

" Lieutenant McCown?" Hazel asked him and Speirs nodded.

" Back when I first heard about the Viragos, the first person I heard about was a young woman they were training on sniper and by that point I was still in OCS, so I didn't think I would earn a full company, but I always wished I'd somehow manage to work with the sniper." Speirs said.

" And look at us now." Hazel said softly and Speirs smiled and nodded.

" I want to use you to your full potential," Speirs told her and Hazel met his steady gaze with her own steady gaze. Like it were a challenge.

" Consider my interest peaked." she said and Speirs grinned. He liked this woman.

" How about you're on this patrol, but you don't even have to cross a river?" Speirs suggested, " And you're way up high, up in the eves and peaks of a sturdy roof, with your scope instead aimed on the entire battlefield?" Speirs asked her. She liked the devious look that was evident in his eye, the want for war and a thirst for a bit of revenge it seemed. For what happened to their company in Bastogne. A cruel way to look at it, but possibly their last stand against the enemy.

" I like the sound of that," she said with a nod. Maybe she was more ruthless that she thought. Speirs smiled at her.

" Good," he said.

She smiled.

She smiled wide.


	15. the stages of grief

" Grief never ends...But it changes. It's a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith...It is the price of love."

_\- Elizabeth l_

✰✰✰

When the guys heard about Hazel _going on patrol,_ a suggestion by Speirs, they had all but lost their shit in a matter of minutes.

But Speirs rather ruthless, like Hazel, was not an idiot. 

He knew Hazel had been injured and it had affected many of the men in ways that were indescribable, but he knew Hazel, just by the look in her eye, the she wouldn't let that wound hold her back from continuing to fight.

This is where she could try her knack for sniping for 100s of yards away. Speirs thought it would be a beautiful sight.

Hazel sat beside Malarkey in the basement as the two stared forward.

" You doing okay, Don?" she asked him. Malarkey looked over at her and sighed to himself.

" You could say so, Hazel," he said. Hazel gently placed a hand on his arm. She knew he was hurting from the 5 men lost on the line that were his closest friends. She knew how much it pained him to lose them. And she knew his heart had shattered. Hazel met his sad eyes.

" If they saw how far you had come, how brave you've been..." Hazel said softly, " they'd be so proud of you." Malarkey looked over and softly met her gaze. 

" They were friends who were your family," Hazel said, " Easy Company, we're all like that, but those guys, they were your family and still are, because of this." Hazel gently placed a hand on Malarkey's heart.

" They still live in you, always," Hazel said, " God makes sure of it." 

" Even if it doesn't feel like it?" Malarkey asked softly. Hazel smiled, watching his big eyes watch hers.

" Even if it doesn't feel like, they'll always be there, years from now. They'll always be in your heart because you loved them." Hazel said, " And that's important." 

" You're one of the strongest people I know," Hazel said softly, " I'll always believe that."

" Hazel...." Malarkey said. Hazel gently squeezed his arm and gave him a soft smile.

" Thanks, Hazel, for that." Malarkey said gently, " I missed you." Hazel smiled softly. Hazel gently squeezed his arm again and laid her head on his shoulder. She knew Malarkey needed even just a smidge of comfort, even if it was in the form of just sitting here in the quiet basement of OP 2, with nothing but a calming presence. And Hazel would be there for him, for anyone going through the pain and suffering of losing your family, a friend who had become one. Because she had seen things at that hospital, that changed men. And she loved Easy, she didn't want to see that happen to them too.

Catherine was smoking like a chimney, stress a bit elevated since Hazel had returned and news broke she was going to be involved on the patrol, even with just sitting on a rooftop.

" George, please tell me that when we get back to Mourmelon you can make me as many drinks as you can?" she said as she sat on the little stool in front of him as he sorted through candy. 

" What's eating ya, Lieutenant?" George asked her, actually sounding concerned. She pulled the cigarette from her lips and sighed.

" Everything that's happened, it's just catching up." she said with a sigh, " But nothing new." George watched her go to take another drag of her smoke but slowly plucked it from her fingers. 

" What the hell, George?" she said, eyes angry, as he took the smoke.

" This," he said showing the cigarette to her, " takes away the pain temporarily, but not permanently. Smoking yourself away won't help you. Talk to me." Catherine watched him.

" Contrary to popular belief and I'm actually a wonderful listener so please, c'mon Cath, I wanna know what's wrong." George said. Catherine looked at him. 

" It's hard, dealing with everything that has happened, with the war," she said quietly, biting back her lip and nodding, " I know as a leader, I'm supposed to be strong and brave and not cower in the face of danger, but I've seen so many of my friends get wounded, get killed, I've watched them deteriorate and I'm still here."

" What is that even supposed to mean?" she whispered looking up to meet his eyes sadly. George watched her and gently put out the cigarette and came around to her side. He slowly pulled up another stool in front of her and sat down.

" Please don't pep talk me, George." she said softly, her eyes filled with sadness. George gave a soft smile.

" I was going to hold your hands, silly." George said gently reaching forward to take hers in his. And Catherine watched as he held her hands, his eyes were gentle, and the brushing of his thumb across her rough and cold skin, a warmth that hadn't touched her body in ages. 

" You got any siblings, Lieutenant?" George asked her and Catherine scoffed slightly.

" You have to stop calling me Lieutenant." she said and George smirked up at her.

" Why, Lieutenant?" he said and Catherine could only smile and shake her head gently.

" I have two brothers, Jack and Clark, in the Marines, in the Pacific. Then 2 younger sisters Maisie and Polly, they're 12 and 15. And I have an older sister Matilda, she's 25, married, has a child, a husband, she's happy." Catherine said softly and George smiled at her.

" My parents they were pretty structured, and they've always wanted their kids to be structured too, ya know. Married by 24, having kids by then, living on with their life. And then there's me." Catherine said. George looked at her. 

" What do you mean?" he asked her.

" I'm going to be 25 in April, George, by this point my parents had a 2 year old daughter." Catherine said, " I've never wanted to let them down, but I guess someone has to be the first." 

" Hey, c'mon don't think like that," George said shuffling closer. Catherine looked away and shook her head.

" I just don't want to let anyone down," Catherine whispered. It grew quiet and Catherine could feel George staring at her. George was observant and he was intelligent when it came to interpreting people's feelings. 

" You haven't let anyone down, you know that, right?" George said quietly, " All the guys, we've all looked up to you, ya know?" Catherine slowly looked towards him, with a sad smile.

" Hey, Cath," George said shifting closer, grasping her hands tenderly, " you've always been a good leader, you know that." Catherine let out a shaky sigh. She was not going to cry. She was not going to lose it in front of George. But with everything, absolutely everything that has happened to her, some of her best friends being ripped from her, watching them get hit or die or crumble, broke her.

It broke her heart.

Because then she was left with the memories which hurt her soul. And George, being so gentle with her, with the dorky smile on his face, made her want to break down. His eyes were so gentle, so welcoming, so soft, and so filled with emotion. Catherine drew back a hand from George's and put it on her face as the first cry escaped her lips.

" Aw Cath," George whispered gently pulling her into his arms as she broke into sobs, she broke in his arms. George softly wrapped his arms around her as she clutched onto him, sobbing into his ODs. Catherine had told herself that breaking down was vulnerable, but now it was the only thing she could do. Catherine just hurt and she'd been hurting for so long, trying to be this perfect person that she knew she wasn't.

And George Luz got to see the most vulnerable version of her.

George eventually pulled back and looked at her.

" I'm sorry George," she managed out her bottom lip trembling as hot, boiling tears welled in her eyes, " I'm so sorry." George watched her with a soft smile. 

" You don't ever have to apologize to me, alright?" George said as he wiped a tear from her face as she sniffled.

She was a stupid mess.

They all were.

She just reacted with those dumb things she called emotions.

She was tired of being strong, tired of being this woman everyone could look to, a Lieutenant, she was sick and tired of it. Of it all. This stupid war, and her stupid emotions and the way the war made her feel like shit. She was tired of being strong in every way when she wasn't.

" I thought I could've been stronger," Catherine whispered, " but I couldn't." George smiled at her.

" You're still strong," George said softly as Catherine sniffled, " real strong."

" You really believe that?" Catherine said with a slight laugh as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

" Of course, I do," George said as if he were in shock, a smirk on his face, a gentle one, " who kept us going through that patrol in Bastogne when we lost Julian?" Catherine watched him.

" Don't give me that look," George said, " it was you." Catherine bit back her lip.

" And who was willing to fight to the death against Dog Company back in Mourmelon in those football practices?" George said as Catherine smiled slightly, " Still you I believe."

" And...who kept morale up through The Island, still you." George said and Catherine even managed to laugh a bit. 

" You're stronger than you think, Cath." George said. Catherine looked away, shaking her head.

" Hey," George said placing a finger on her chin where she met his eyes, " if you don't think it, I'll think it for you." Catherine laughed lightly, as she wiped at the stray tears on her cheeks.

" Just like how you would spoon feed me in Bastogne?" she said softly.

" Still would," George said and Catherine laughed softly, looking at him again.

" I feel like I owe you something, I've cried on you too many times." she said, wiping her eye.

" I think your pretty face was enough," George told her and Catherine gave a soft smile. Catherine softly met his warm gaze. He was smiling, a genuine smile, the one where his eyes crinkled in the corners.

" So, you want a chocolate bar?" he asked her, reaching to his right to grab one.

" They're supplies." she said, " I'm okay." George watched her.

" I can make an exception." he said as he pressed it into her hand, " Promise ya." Catherine softly stared at it and then back up at George.

" Thanks for that, George." she said softly, sniffling, " I needed that." George gently squeezed her shoulder and smiled, with a soft nod.

The radioman and the Lieutenant, emotions were hard for them, but together they understood them like an open book.

Hazel stayed with Malarkey for a while, and they didn't have to talk much, Hazel just knew that he needed someone there for him. But then they had to head out for the briefing on the patrol.

Hazel found herself walking beside Joe again, his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders, but it was comforting enough for her. He had been happy that Speirs had held Hazel back from the patrol, just enough to keep her injury from harm, but that she was still a part of it. He knew Hazel missed being a part of the action.

If anything she was a mini Speirs.

The group headed through the CP into the briefing room and Hazel saw a few men were already inside. Hazel slowly eased herself into one of the nearby chairs and Joe squished in beside her. Hazel glared.

" You're cute when you're angry." Joe said and she shoved his shoulder.

" I was here first." she said, rather proudly with an upturned nose.

" Look, there's plenty of room for the two of us," Joe said motioning between them. Hazel looked down; it was like they were attached at the hip.

" There's not even a millimeter between us." she countered, even though sitting beside Joe made her heart warm and she felt warmer in general. Joe smirked.

" You know you love it." he said wrapping an arm over her shoulder.

" We'll see," she countered, as she kicked up her feet beside Joe's. He smirked at her.

" Shut up." she murmured. People slowly trickled in and after waiting for a while Catherine made her appearance, looking rather exhausted but with a smirk on her face. 

" Lieutenant Jones," she said with a tipping of the helmet in his direction before moving in. Jones nodded to her before she moved into the room and let out a sigh.

" Wait, you're leading now, Cath?" Chuck asked sitting up, relief in his voice.

" Nah, but Johnny is," Catherine said, " I have the explosives."

" Damn, okay." Chuck said watching as Catherine pulled the multiple explosives from her bag.

" Remind me not to get on her bad side, right Babe?" Chuck said and Babe grinned as Catherine smirked.

" Yeah you remember that Charles." Catherine said. 

" Pfft." Catherine slowly collapsed in a chair and let out a sigh. She looked exhausted. A patrol was something she most definitely didn't need in her life.

" Well then, come on, he can't be leading." " Ramirez said, as Catherine glanced towards Lieutenant Jones at the door. 

" I'm not sure what they decided." Liebgott said.

" No way." Chuck said, " Not on his first day." 

" Well, do you see any other officer here?" Liebgott asked to no one in particular. Chuck glanced at Catherine.

" I'm not leading, I told you all." Catherine said, " If anything I'm intelligence at this point with the bomb." The group sighed. Just then the group heard footsteps and everyone looked up and over to see it was Cobb, Skinny, Tony and Moe, all with rather disgruntled looks on their faces, giving a nod to Jones at the door as they entered. Everyone looked exhausted even in the new gear, and extremely worn out. No one looked like they wanted to be here. 

" What?" Cobb snapped as Popeye looked up at him and the rest of the group that had entered.

" They call you guys, too?" Popeye asked. 

" So, who's in charge of this bullshit?" Moe asked the group and Catherine just sighed shaking her head. He glanced back at Lieutenant Jones.

" No, he ain't." Chuck said noticing Moe look back at him. 

" Well, if he ain't, it's you, Chuck." Babe said looking at him, " Or Mack or Shifty or Moe."

" Well, that'd be better." Liebgott said, disgruntled. More footsteps echoed and Catherine watched Jones straighten up.

" 10, hutt." Jones said, and Catherine begrudgingly moved from her position to stand at attention, in her exhausted state. Everyone else, slowly followed suit, a little peeved as well. But Catherine couldn't be mad at Jones, he was rookie, a new-guy, he hadn't been through Bastogne like they all had.

" At ease." Winters said as he, and Martin entered. Everyone slowly sat down again, as Catherine returned to leaning against the wall. 

" Ladies and gentlemen." Winters said and a chorus of sirs answered him.

" As you can see, we've assembled 17 of you here, for this prisoner snatch tonight, 0100. Just a couple of points." Winters started, " Secured four rubber boats to get you across the river. Lieutenant Jones and Lieutenant McCown here are ranking officers. Lieutenant Jones will be along as an observer. Lieutenant McCown will be of assistance to Sergeant Martin, but remain intelligence with our explosives. Her focus is on those bombs and those only, so she can not be distracted through this process." Catherine raised a brow, rather surprised. She watched as he nodded, across to someone. Webster. Johnny saw that and the angriest glare spread on his features.

" Sergeant Martin here will lead the patrol in Sergeant Malarkey's place. The whole Battalion will be covering your withdrawal. We've identified targets, we've planned fire fire for 'em. We hear these whistles, we open up. So don't blow 'em 'till you're back in the boats with your prisoners." Winters said handed the three whistles to Johnny.

" And if the house turns out to be empty, sir?" Johnny asked him. 

" It won't, but in any case, we know it's an outpost and want it destroyed, so, you have to lay some demo on a time delay. You have to move fast but carefully. Put a perimeter around the house. Once that's in place, get your rifle grenades in the first floor window. Get your assault team in quick." Johnny nodded to what Winters was saying, he got the idea.

" Okay, good, understood?" Winters asked them, " Remember, it's about prisoners. don't pop the first thing that moves. Clear?" 

" Yes, sir." everyone answered a bit warily.

" Good." Winters said as he looked at the group. 

" Lieutenant McCown?" Winters said and turned to nod to her. Catherine stood and stepped forward.

" The demos, if set correctly, have about a 5 to 6 hour window. If set wrong, the could go off while you're in the house. As Captain Winters has said, you need to be in and out. Once you touch down on the opposite bank, you'll have to move about 100 meters inland before you reach the house. Once you do, the demos will be set and you'll have to lay them once you get inside the house. I will be along with you for assistance." Catherine explained. " Understood?"

" Yes, ma'am." the group answered her and she nodded before nodding to Winters and stepping back.

" Picked your assault team?" Winters asked Martin. 

" McClung, Sisk, Cobb, Garcia. And Webster as translator." Johnny said as he looked at Webster. Catherine glanced towards Webster, who simply looked down, not meeting his eyes.

" The rest of you guys, a base of fire with Sergeant Grant and Lieutenant McCown." Johnny said as he threw the two other whistles at the two Sergeants, who caught them with ease. Catherine looked at the whistle and slid it into her front pocket. 

" You speak German, right, Webster?" Johnny asked snappily.

" Yeah, a little bit." Webster said. Catherine raised a brow looking at him. 

" Good." Johnny said, before turning to Winters, " That's my team, sir."

" Corporal Parker," Winters called out and Hazel looked up, " glad to have you back." Winters smiled at her.

" Thank you, sir." she answered with a nod and a smile.

" Captain Speirs has explained to you what you're doing correct?" he asked her.

" Yes, sir." she answered.

" Good, he'll be showing you, your position later this evening." Winters said.

" Yes, sir, thank you." she said and Winters nodded with a slight smile.

" Questions?" Winters asked the group. 

" No, sir." the group answered.

" Good." Winters said, " Good luck." 

" Thank you, sir." the mixed responses came. Then Winters nodded and walked out, as Johnny followed.

" 10, hutt!" Jones called. 

" As you were, carry on." Winters called, and Catherine slowly followed him out. Hazel watched Jones, sort of die inside, but she didn't blame him for doing that, he was new after all.

" A little German?" Liebgott asked, staring forward, before glancing a bit at Webster. 

" His German's as good as mine." Liebgott said to Jackson. Then Joe looked back up at Webster, who looked away. The group slowly filed out of the area and Hazel slowly walked out, fitting her helmet to her head as she did so. When she got outside she noticed Webster walking over towards the higher ups. He wanted out of the patrol.

" I want four men on each block." Speirs said, " Four men to go in."

" Four men on the left flank, four men on the right." Johnny said as Catherine noticed Webster slowly walked towards them. She met his eye, confused.

" Sir? Sir." Webster said and the group looked at him. 

" Yes?" Winters said.

" Liebgott and I, we both speak German." Webster said and Catherine glanced at him again.

" Yeah?" Speirs said leaning forward and highly unfazed.

" You said 17 men and women, they are 18 of us, including 2 translators." Webster said. 

" Well, fine, hey Liebgott, " Speirs said as the group noticed Liebgott, Chuck, and Hazel walking by.

" You wanna sit this one out?" Speirs asked him. Liebgott smiled slightly.

" Yes, sir." Liebgott said with a smile and a nod. Hazel glanced at Liebgott then Webster. Liebgott winked at him.

" Thanks, buddy." Liebgott said, with a thumbs up before the group of 3 walked away, the two men laughing. 

" Thank you, sir." Webster said as Webster walked away. Catherine watched him.

" Excuse me, sir." she said and stepped back towards Webster.

" Hey, Web." she said. Webster turned to find the female Lieutenant looking at him from under the rim of her helmet, her eyes looking at him quizzically.

" Ma'am." he said and looked down at her.

" Drop the ma'am, Web, why'd you do that back there?" she asked him, " Trying to get out of patrol?" Webster looked at her.

" What do you care?" Webster muttered, adjusting his rifle on his shoulder. 

" I'm just curious, Web." she said, raising a brow as she watched him, " So what there are two translators, Joe could've handled it. He's a big boy." Webster stared at her.

" Fine," Webster said, " maybe I saved at least one of our asses." Catherine raised a brow.

" At least it's one less person killed, now, if this patrol fails." Webster said.

" It's not gonna go bad, Web, these are experienced men and women." Catherine promised.

" Unlike someone who was at the aid station for too long." She looked him up and down. Webster glared at her.

" I had to be there to recover completely." Webster defended himself.

" Oh really? Bill came back with an evident limp, and he fought through the Battle of the Bugle." Catherine said to him, raising a brow, " Hazel still has evidence of the wound and a limp."

" I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but I wasn't going AWOL from a hospital." he told her. Catherine glared at him.

" Just respect the fact that some of the ones that did are not here anymore." she said. Webster's face fell.

" Catherine, that's not what I meant." Webster said, stepping closer as she stepped back from him.

" There were men who got themselves wounded and came AWOL from the hospital." Catherine told him, her eyes filling with tears, " They're gone." 

" They're injured, Catherine, they're not...they're not gone." Webster told her stepping closer to her.

" You weren't there, Web." Catherine snapped at him, as her voice broke. Webster knew he messed up.

" I was just trying to help you out, but I guess you've been doing fine by yourself." she snapped, before brushing past him. 

" Wait, Catherine..." Webster said turning to follow her. She turned around and looked at him.

" That's Lieutenant to you, Private." she said, before turning and stepping away. Webster sighed to himself.

As Catherine walked away, tears threatened to cloud her vision. 

_AGAIN_.

How many times would she had to cry here to finally feel something?

Something besides being numb?

She didn't know.

Why would he even begin to say something like that?

Bill and Joe getting injured and Skip and Penkala gone and Buck needing to be taken off the line. It had been such a numbing and painful experience that she hoped she never to experience again.


	16. the patrol

" The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It's about what you're made of, not the circumstances."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

When Catherine arrived back towards HQ, she found Nixon inside, going through cabinets of files that had been brought down from Division, as he mumbled and cursed.

" Hey, Cath, how was the briefing?" he asked her.

" Fine," she answered, as she removed her helmet and moved inside, " no one seemed thrilled."

" If I was being sent across the freezing cold water, in winter, after Bastogne, I feel I'd be pretty upset as well." Nixon said with a sarcastic smirk, grabbing a file.

" Yeah, well, I agree with them. And Webster saying what he said wasn't too pleasing either." she said and put her things down before collapsing in a chair and staring at the ceiling.

" What'd he say?" Nixon asked and Catherine looked at him.

" Bunch of bullshit." Catherine muttered, " Made me think of Toye and Guarnere, and Buck, Penkala and Skip. It's just fresh in my mind and stuff still. The littlest things related to them upset me."

" Ah, Catherine, it's only right you get upset over it, they were your friends. If I were you I'd let Webster know it too." Nixon told her. Catherine smirked at him.

" I'm not you, Nix." she said with a smile as she stood and picked up at map.

" Oh really?" Nixon said, as he picked up a map next to her.

" Yeah," she said.

" We're both officers, standing next to each other, maps in our hands, smoking like our life depends on it, drinking black coffee, with brunette hair, a grudge and a rather sarcastic way of attacking a situation. I'd say we're pretty similar." Nixon said. Catherine laughed and shook her head.

" Sure, we'll say that." she said, as she laughed again. She felt a bit better.

When Hazel got into the basement of OP 2, she couldn't help but feel the warmth that was brought over her entire being, how homely it felt. Hazel stepped down inside and removed her helmet from her already cold, as a blast of heat hit her.

Lieutenant Jones was sitting closer to the door than the rest of the men and Catherine and Hazel gave him a small nod as she entered. When Hazel looked up again, she saw most of the men sitting around an eating quietly, chatting softly together.

" Hey, Tiny," a tired voice said and Hazel looked up to see it was Malarkey with a tin of food and a spoon in it. 

" Hey, Malark." she said softly, her smile knowingly not reaching her eyes.

" You look like you need some food." he said as he turned and grabbed another tin and began filling it with some of the food he'd made.

" That'd be great," she said and took the warm tin in her cold hands," thanks."

" Of course." he said and then turned and headed back over to place it back down on the stove. Hazel turned and slowly settled herself down into a chair at the end of the table and began removing her weapon, helmet from her hands, and extra coat. Once she did, she let her hair fall around her face, and let out a sigh as the warm steam of the food wafted onto her face. It was warm, she hadn't been warm in so long. She slowly reached for the spoon nearby and scooped up the food into her mouth.

She savored it, it tasted amazing.

Like actual food.

Hazel was slow as she ate it, letting her body digest each and every bite. She needed energy though, and even though she wasn't sick like Lizzie, she felt exhausted all the time from her lack of energy that was nonexistent in her body.

" Hey," a voice said and Hazel looked up to see it was Joe sitting down next to her, pulling a chair. 

" Hey, Joe," she said quietly, biting her lip.

" How're you doing?" he asked her. 

" Just tired, Joe." she said softly, as she looked at his eyes, " Really tired." Joe smiled softly at her and placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently.

" I got something for you," he said. Hazel quirked a raised brow upwards as she watched him pull a tiny chocolate bar from his pocket. A small smile fell on Hazel's face as Joe placed it in her hand.

" I figured you'd want one," he said softly to her. She smiled at the chocolate.

" Thank you, Lieb." she said. She was never more excited to see a chocolate bar, even if she didn't show it. Joe knew how much she loved chocolate.

After Hazel finished the meal Malarkey had prepared, she ate the chocolate bar and it filled her up with a bit of energy that she had been missing. Every so often as they sat in the basement, rounds of explosions went off outside, shaking the building, and letting a bit of dust fall every so often. Soon, everyone in the basement had finished eating and were beginning to prepare their weapons and gear to make sure nothing would be rattling as they ran through the German side of the Rhine.

Catherine sat in the corner, half awake as she attempted to clean her weapon and get parts to where they wouldn't move when shaken up a bit. Catherine closed her eyes for a minute, anticipating that just a few minutes of rest would help her that night. But she knew she needed to be there to help Johnny and Chuck with the patrol.

Catherine let her head lightly fall against the smooth concrete of the inside of the basement, and curled up against it, just to let her eyes shut for a few minutes of rest with the chaos of what was going on outside.

Malarkey noticed the girl curled in the corner, and figured that just those few minutes of rest would mean the world to her on patrol. So he grabbed a blanket and gently laid it overtop of her, which she curled into more as she yawned and then rightfully passed out. Hazel had done what the other men had done to their rifles, even if she wasn't crossing the river, and found time for some rest. She felt she hadn't had proper rest in ages, they'd been on a truck for a month, a convent for a night, and foxholes for months.

Placing her head on a table was luxury.

And no dreams filled her vision as she rested there, it was blissful piece and quiet as the girls slept. The men noticed the sleeping women, and resumed their quiet demeanor and chatter that they had. The girls had suffered greatly and lacked rest.

Letting them get this before the patrol was vital. When Hazel woke up, she was surprisingly somewhat warm wrapped in the soft blanket. She slowly sat up from the hard, wooden table and looked around. The guys were all sitting around, at least the ones going on patrol, working on their weapons, and making sure that as they moved across the German side nothing would make noises as they did so.

Hazel realized Lizzie was also in the room, talking quietly to Malarkey, a strained look upon her features as she did so. Hazel innocently raised a brow in their direction and bit her lip, worried.

" Hazel." a voice said and Hazel looked over to see it was Shifty with some grease. She offered a small, sleepy smile.

" Thanks, Shifty." she said and took it from his hands and began working on the weapon in front of her. Hazel felt restless waiting for the patrol to occur, glancing at the watch that was in her pocket, or looking around and getting fidgety.

Hazel left OP 2 to visit Gene, to redo the bandage on her wound. She walked through the night, nearing where she could see the warm glow of a light on in the aid station. Hazel slowly stepped inside and removed the helmet from her head, as she moved further into the aid station, feeling warmer already, she sought out the Cajun man. She found him working over a report that lay in his hands, helmet removed, relaxed.

" Hey, Gene." Hazel called softly. Gene froze at the sound of her voice. He slowly turned, glancing over his shoulder toward her. 

" Hazel." he said as his eyes lit up. He placed down the pencil and slowly walked forward. Hazel didn't hesitate to wrap him in a warm hug. He had been the one to be the last of Easy Company to see her before she was evacuated for injury.

" When did you get back?" he asked her, as he pulled back.

" Just today, this afternoon, but I'm glad to be here. I missed everyone." Hazel said with a smile.

" How are you feeling?" Gene asked, nodding to the wound on her side. 

" It's fine," Hazel said gently patting the bandage on the left side of her rib cage, " I was just wondering if you could change the bandage, before the patrol?"

" You're going on that?" Gene asked her as his eyes widened with worry. 

" No, no, Speirs wouldn't allow it," she said and Gene smiled, " but I'm staying up in the roof to snipe, he thought it would be good for me." Gene smiled.

" Well, I'm glad." Gene said turning and nodding to the table and Hazel smiled. 

" Hop on up." Gene said patting the table and turning up the brightness of the light.

" Thanks, Gene." Hazel said to him, as she slowly pulled the OD top off, a bit of a cold breeze hitting her, as she pulled the helmet from her head. She grimaced as she pulled herself up onto the table and Gene was quick to fixate his head looking toward her. Hazel ignored his look.

She was fine.

Hazel grimaced again as she slowly lied down on her back and stared up at the wooden ceiling. Gene came over to her as she slowly lifted up her shirt to reveal the wound underneath. Gene seemed to look at it for a few moments, before deciding what to do. He slowly began to peal back the bandage on the wound, little by little as to not hurt Hazel as he did so. Hazel manage still to grimace quite a few times out of sheer pain. Gene slowly pulled off the bandage from the wound and looked at it. It was clean, it didn't smell and it was healing properly. But it was still evidently a wound on her chest.

And the scar would show that.

Gene slowly walked away to grab a new, dry bandage and place it onto her stomach. He gently put the bandage down with multiple other bandages, and then finally tape around the edges to hold her bandage in place.

" Try and be careful for me," Gene told her as he threw away the old bandage. 

" Yes, of course." Hazel said, as she pulled the shirt over the wound and attempted to sit up, but she ended up groaning. Gene looked at her and then moved to her side and helped her sit up. Hazel grasped onto him tightly as she swung her legs over the edge as then finally hopped down.

" I'll be ok." she assured him, but the medic look that he was giving her, similar to Lizzie's wasn't convincing enough. 

" Thank you, Gene." Hazel said, rubbing his arm and then grabbing her things and hurrying out. Gene watched her worriedly. Medics always worried.

At 2300 that night when everyone was resting, Speirs came rumbling down into the basement of OP 2 for Hazel.

" Hey, Parker." a voice said as Hazel blinked her eyes away meeting the eyes of Ronald Speirs. 

" Sir?" she asked sitting up.

" Follow me, I have to show you your post when the time comes." he said and slowly stood to his feet, offering a hand towards the woman. She took it with blurry eyes.

" Thank you, sir." she said yawning, " If you don't mind we asking, why 2300 and not earlier?" Speirs smirked at the innocent comment.

" I promise you, the night view is much better than the day view." he said. Speirs lead Hazel up the tiny stairwell to the attic and then lead her inside the roof where bombed out parts of the ceiling lay in disarray. Hazel slowly stepped up into the attic and looked around.

" Cozy," she murmured and she heard Speirs chuckle.

" You're quite a tiny thing," Speirs said as she looked up towards him. She smiled.

" The nickname makes sense, doesn't it, sir?" she asked him and Speirs chuckled.

" I found the perfect bombed out sector of the roof, here," Speirs said leading her forward. Hazel's eyes widened. It was absolutely perfect, all of it. The view she had was breathtaking, just below the brightly shining stars which hung above her.

" It's a perfect spot," she said looking out the window as a cold chill blew in.

" I'd say so," he said, looking around, " perfect view down onto the scene. You'll open up when you hear the whistle though, alright?" She nodded.

" Perfect," he said; he looked like a kid in a candy store, crouched beside her, watching with wide eyes. 

" Sir," Hazel said and Speirs looked at her, " I, uh, I never believed the rumors, about you." Speirs watched her gently.

" Rumors are just rumors and I've had some spread about myself back in grade school, and I chose not to listen to them and let them get to me. I never believed them." she said, " You had to do what you had to do, and that's it." Speirs smiled at her.

" I think we're more alike than we think, Parker." Speirs said and Hazel grinned, with that challenging glint in her eyes, which glowed like a thousand stars.

Maybe they were.

At 0045, Hazel retreated up to her tiny nook which was nestled in the roof of OP 2. Speirs was right, and especially for the middle of the night, thew view was absolutely amazing. Hazel gently crouched beside the open air spot, and looked out. She could see the patrol below her, organizing with the rubber boats that were provided, the mass of men that were planning on moving across below her.

Hazel gently settled back and carefully laid down on her stomach, but even with the slightest shift, her chest wound gave way and her hand immediately went to it. Hazel let out a grimace and turned to look around the attic. There had to be some sort of pillow, or a blanket even that she could put underneath her chest so there wasn't the cold plank floor.

Hazel's eyes glossed over the room, until she found a tattered blue pillow. Hazel slowly, with a bit of a grimace, pushed up from her spot and crouched, hurrying over to grab the pillow up from the ground. Hazel then turned and placed it back where her stomach would rest, before lying down again, and it was comfortable. Hazel let out a shaky sigh and smiled softly to herself at the comfort of the pillow.

But damn it felt good to be behind a weapon again, ready for the fight. Hazel hadn't fired her weapon in a month and sure it had traveled to the hospital with her, the weapon hadn't been physically fired. Hazel slowly reached forward and clicked that scope into precision, a smile on her face.

In battle, an odd feeling overcame her, like the light witch at the hospital, of the want to fight and fire this weapon. Hazel gently rested her cheek against the pad of the weapon and continued adjusting her scope until she could clearly see the opposite side of the bank and farther in than she thought she could.

Hazel was suddenly transported back to a time when she first held this weapon; now Sink had guaranteed updates on the weapon each time a new version came out, but it was still the same weapon she fired with Lieutenant Wilson that day in Camp Athene. She remembered it so clearly, all of it.

Hazel's gaze rested through the gaze of a sniper scoop at 0100, she'd be ready to fire whenever she heard that whistle blow - and they'd never know she was here. She wanted to do this, every bit of it. Whens he was in war, it was war, no emotion, no mental battle, no fury, just war and that's all it was. You fight numbly until it's over and then you can flip that switch when it's over.

But war, was cold and brutal - numbing yourself was the only escape.

Catherine clambered into the boat behind Chuck, the explosives in her tight grasp as she slowly felt the ice cold water underneath them, some droplets already in the boat and soaking her new ODs. Searchlights swarmed the sky of the opposite embankment, reaching into the fair depths of the sky, striving for a plane just to fly by so they could shoot it down.

But the Allies weren't that dumb.

Catherine glanced over her shoulder towards where Hazel would be, the little hole in the attic. Catherine, like many of the men, were worried when they heard about Hazel on patrol, but in reality she was the safest out of them all and that settled Catherine. Each group of men got into the boats, before holding onto the line of rope attached to the each side of the river and beginning to pull themselves across to the other side.

" Keep it steady, keep it steady." Johnny called to the group. Catherine gently settled the demos to the side and pulled with all her might forward, each pull getting them closer as her and Chuck led their boat further and further forward.

" Oh, shit." a quiet voice snapped out behind them and Catherine looked over her shoulder to see that their assault team was in the water. Catherine heard the chaos behind them but she noticed Jones turn and looked forward again directing the group to keep moving.

" Okay, keep going, come on, stay focused." Johnny called softly to the group. Catherine couldn't help but look back over her shoulder again to make sure the Tony, Skinny and Cobb got up and out of the freezing water. 

" Use the rope, come on." Johnny whispered. Catherine shouldered her Thomspon, and adjusted the demos at her hip before grabbing the rope and making a slight jump to the embankment and crashing down into the snow onto her knees, letting a quiet groan follow her as she did so.

Catherine slowly pushed up from the ground and maneuvered herself forward again watching as Johnny and McClung moved forward with wire cutters to get through a tiny bit of land. Once they did, they shuffled over to the side to allow for the group to start army crawling forward. Catherine crawled beside Shifty as they moved forward, the snow melting into her ODs and kicking up in her face from the person in front of her.

Johnny tapped her foot once her and Shifty passed saying, clear. Her and Shifty stood up side by side before moving forward slightly crouched weapons up and aimed. Her and Shifty moved near the edge of the bombed out concrete wall side by side, guns aimed towards where the Germans would ultimately be.

" Powers, go!" Johnny called to Shifty. Catherine gave him the nod and Shifty took off. Catherine then turned her head and looked up towards the 3 story building. There were a bunch of lights on inside. She saw Johnny watching her. She gave a quick set of hand signals to alert him and he gave her a nod back before sending the group forward. Webster arrived by her side but she just averted her gaze from him and focused back on the main entrance into the building, where the demos would have to be set. 

" Powers, Wynn, secure the left flank." Johnny whispered softly to them.

" Lieutenant Jones, take Grant and Heffron, secure the right perimeter and the crossroads. Clear?" The two nodded. 

" Security out, go." Johnny called. The group nodded, before moving out towards the left flank, taking their own 3 separate routes to attack it with. Catherine then met Johnny's eyes and he moved the group out moving towards the building with force and speed.

Hazel was watching their every move. She could see each individual person that moved out from the group, moving forward to their locations or with the main assault team. Her kill tally lay open beside her.

It was nearing 95.

That was at least 15 or so people from Bastogne.

Her heart ached at the mere thought but she averted her gaze. No emotion. She sunk into a cold, hardened position and watched through her scope as the patrol continued moving in. She saw the group moved out in front of a cobblestone staircase it seemed, all smooshed together awaiting instructions. Hazel could just make out Johnny preparing the grenade launcher in his grasp and she clicked her scope again. Then she leaned in further, surprised as someone jumped out in front of the group and launched a grenade forward, flying into the building. It was boiling chaos from there, the group yelling out to each other as they moved up the staircase and inside. Hazel's fear skyrocketed. What was going on? Hazel waited for a moment or two, just watching the door, her finger playing on the trigger.

" What is going on?" she whispered softly to herself. Her eyes narrowed and zeroed in like a bullet as she watched someone being dragged out of the door. And with that the first gunshots of the patrol signaled off. Hazel pulled the bolt with ease, falling back into it like routine and slowly adjusted herself.

Whistle.

Whistle.

Whistle.

Blow the whistle.

Hazel watched the group slowly falling back, and she watched through the scope as the men ran in bundled huddles together, pushing people back with fervor towards the boats. She watched Catherine pushing people away from their spots towards the boats; Hazel could tell she was yelling, she was very animated.

Whistle.

Blow the whistle.

And that's when she heard it, the silver whistle's tune heard about everything else.

And Hazel immediately zeroed in.

From her spot, it gave such a range that admittedly, Hazel felt she was in a game and had the power to kill anyone she wanted. A horror nightmarish thought when the last thing she had wanted to see was death. But sitting behind the rifle, death was the only thing that could come from this horrid war machine. Hazel sucked in a breath and found a machine gunner firing on the patrol, his MG-42 looking as if it were smoking from the high fire power that emitted from the weapon. She could end that.

" Guard me and guide me through war God, lead me, and light the way," she whispered as her finger played on the trigger and she watched the man behind the MG rip of another round of shots. Hazel held her breath, her body going still and pulled the trigger, watching the bullet find its home in the man's hot.

The knock back sent him flying backwards from the MG. Hazel watched the other soldier who was on ammo duty, quickly move to the spot, but Hazel was quicker, cranking the bolt action and holding her breath.

" Not so fast, buddy," she whispered, " guide and guard God, like you always do." The bullet was successful in its position and resting place as the soldier fell back. There was a slight relief on the patrol, as MGs from Easy's own side began opening up, firing back at the Germans.

Hazel's mind went to the kill tally for a moment, the sheet of paper with each tally for a life she took. 97.

It was painted in her head like one of those giant X-marks-the-spot in treasure hunts and pirate things. In war, it sat like a gate on her heart.

But she instead flipped the tally closed and with one hand tossed it over her shoulder, before clicking back the bolt action and taking aim.

This patrol needed to get back safely - they deserved to.


	17. only the truth

" War is a sinkhole that sucks money and men into it and is never filled."

_\- Margaret George_

✰✰✰

" Okay, everybody, get in the boats, right now!" Jones called out to the group as Catherine jumped or more like slid right into the boat, collapsing on her side, letting out an anguished groan, as Webster jumped in right next to her followed by Chuck. Their boat began moving as they heard Vest and Johnny shouting.

Catherine could barely hear over the explosions and gunfire that continued to ring out from both sides. It was deafening. An house blew up behind them as they set off from the German side and waves lapped as an explosion landed in the river. There was gunfire and cursing and yelling and explosions. It was overwhelming. Catherine moved towards the front of the boat and began pulling with all her might to get the lead started and to get away from the German side of the embankment where chaos laid and ensued.

Catherine felt icy water splash up on her as the group continued to pull their boat across the water, explosions rocking either side of them causing the boat to ripple at the waves the explosions created. Catherine felt a bit of relief hit her as she saw Perconte appear and grab the rope to pull people in.

" Where's the medic!" someone yelled. In all the chaos of people jumping out of the boats or pulling people from them, Catherine found herself staggering and plunged into the icy water.

It sweltered her lungs and caused her arms to flail in a panic as she pushed to air. She came coughing and sputtering and freezing from the cold night air and below freezing temperatures of water. She was hacking and it burned her throat and she couldn't see or feel anything. She was numb. She felt arms grab her and barely registered it as Captain Speirs pulling her up the embankment, as she coughed over and over to get the ice water of the river from her lungs.

Catherine was drenched in the icy water and shivering as she stumbled out of Speirs grasp and crawled forward, before pushing herself to her feet to get inside the basement again where a majority of the group had run to.

" We got wounded, come on!" Johnny yelled as Catherine felt her ODs turn stiff in the cold she was exposed to and freeze to her body. She was shivering violently. 

" Popeye, get the Krauts back there and shake 'em down." Johnny called as Catherine felt her legs becoming numb under her body suddenly.

" McClung! McClung! Get onto the company CP, let 'em know what we got." Johnny called to the man. 

" Webster, stay with him." Johnny called to Webster.

" Hey, Shifty, watch Vest." Johnny called to the sharpshooter who stood watching the Germans and gave a firm nod. That's when Lieutenant Jones entered as chaos slowly ensued.

" Sir, I'm going to get a medic." Johnny told him, " You got this?"

" Yeah." Jones nodded as Catherine moved in besides Webster to try and get Jackson to calm down. Catherine's frozen body, let only her hands reach forward to gently cup Jackson's face as he panicked.

" Hey Jackson, you have to calm down," Catherine said softly, but the man was in a panic.

" Jackson, listen to me. You have to calm down or we can't help you." Webster said firmly, from beside her as Catherine tried to hold Jackson's panicking face still. Jones moved forward to hold Jackson's legs and Catherine glanced his way, meeting his frantic eyes which overlooked the entire situation.

" He's gonna fucking die, he's gonna fucking die!" Vest yelled as Catherine's head snapped up.

" Shut up!" Catherine snapped and it quieted for a second as everyone looked at the woman, eyes angry and narrowed. Then they all focused again. 

" Jackson look at me, don't listen to him. Look at me, you're gonna be fine, everything's gonna be ok." Webster tried to tell him, as Catherine moved in beside him near his head.

" Jackson you're gonna to be fine, it's gonna be ok. Gene's on his way, you hear? You'll be fine!" Catherine called, as she helplessly pushed hair from the man's bloodied face. Jackson started coughing and sputtering as Catherine opened up his uniform a bit as to not overwhelm his airways. There were German voices and American voices yelling from the tiny stove area; and that's when people started freaking out and slowly losing control. 

" Everything's fine." Webster told Jackson as Catherine moved overtop of Jackson's head and softly brushed at his hair.

" Please calm down, Jackson, please or we won't be able to save you." she pleaded with him her voice a mere whimper.

That's when the door burst open from the stairwell and Hazel was there, a murderous look in her eye.

105 - she had gotten to triple digits.

But then, the flip was switched as she looked immediately towards Jackson.

Catherine met her eye and then shook her head. Hazel let out a shaky sigh and then moved forward and tried to get a hold on Jackson's legs. This was the boy that had been carried out. Eugene Jackson, not even 21. Her heart broke for him.

" Goddamnit!" Vest yelled and Catherine turned to watch as Jones went rushing around as explosions ripped off above them, towards Vest. Hazel felt a shiver run down her spine as Jones pulled Vest back as he screamed, attempting to stabilize him with Popeye. Then Babe was in there and yelling. It was all just chaos. Hazel watched Web and Catherine attempt to calm Jackson as Ramirez held the boy's hand and people tried to hold him down. 

" Jackson, stay calm, the medic is coming. They're on their way." Webster promised as Catherine looked up at Webster with sad eyes, " Where the fuck is the medic?!" Hazel felt cold, literally and physically, as she stood there looking between Jackson and Vest with the prisoners.

" Doc is on his way." someone called as Hazel turned and saw Johnny appear with Alley, as well as Gene and a few stretcher bearers. Hazel watched as Gene pushed in through the group, and it seemed to silence at the medic's presence.

A medic's presence was like that of a God, as the chaos was overrun by calm and silence, that of an angel.

" Doc's here you're ok." Catherine whispered brushing Jackson's hair from his eyes, as Gene approached and held the boy's face in his hands, as Jackson gurgled and cried out. Gene's gentle hands gently prodded Jackson's face as he leaned over to look down his throat.Webster gripped tightly onto Jackson's hand beside Catherine earnestly watching Jackson.

" Ok, ok." Gene said as it slowly got quiet, the chaos settling for a moment. It was like Gene was a beckon of light appearing, silencing the group. Gene softly repeated gentle words as bombs exploded in the background, putting his ear to Jackson's mouth as Jackson gurgled.

" Light, I need some light, give me some light." Gene said as he positioned to look down Jackson's throat. Hazel's worried eyes watched as Skinny brought out his lighter for some sort of flame.

" Alright, look at the flame. Jackson look at the flame." Gene cooed to the boy. 

" Okay, that's good." Gene said as Hazel could hear her heart pounding roughly in her chest. She heard Jackson's pained cries, little innocent whimpers of a boy who shouldn't even be in this war.

" Alright, let's get him out of here, let's get him out of here." Gene concluded, as Hazel shuffled backwards.

" You guys, come on, help the Doc move him."

" I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die!" Jackson became crying, and something in Hazel's heart broke.

An innocent boy screaming that he won't lose his life. Hazel's mind was on over drive, and her heart was racing inside her chest but all she could look at was Jackson and his screaming. He was just a boy. Babe was trying to comfort the wailing boy, pleading that his life wouldn't be taken from him, crying out in pain.

They began moving Jackson out, just before a whistle echoed above them and landed right by OP 2, causing the stretcher bearers to resort to moving to the ground as dust and a few bits of lumbar fell.

" It's ok, hey, it's ok!" Babe tried to call to the boy to calm him, but Jackson continued yelling and crying as Gene moved to adjust the boy. Jackson started choking, choking on his own blood, Babe's words falling on deaf ears, as Jackson started to seize. There were still bullets flying outside as Gene tried to console the boy. But nothing was working.

Hazel watched finally as Gene yelled his name with the last bit of energy, as Jackson gurgled one last breath, before letting it leave his lips. He wasn't suffering anymore. Gene sat back, pulling the helmet from his head, seemingly annoyed and overwhelmed. He glanced up towards Babe who had been trying to tell Jackson it was ok, even when it wasn't. Babe looked back at the silent group, waiting. He shook his head. Hazel watched Catherine, shivering and dripping wet, who was still leaning against the table put her head down.

Too many friends had died in her eyes. Hazel knew that. Johnny walked forward and pulled the blanket on Skinny's shoulder from him before moving over to where Jackson was. Johnny stood over the medics for a few moments before shuffling forward and putting the blanket over top of him. Jackson was dead. Johnny looked up then at the silent group of men and women.

A 20 year old boy, lost to death at the expense of war, and the chaos that followed.

No boy should have to worry about dying in a war that he had nothing to do with. Hazel gulped and looked to where Vest was crying, he was distraught, as Jones gently placed his hand on the back of his head to calm him.

The Germans were deafly quiet as well.

It seemed for a moment that everyone was mourning the loss of a boy, a human being.

Alley was emotionally distraught as well standing over where Jackson lay dead, sucking in his tears and his emotions.

Because you weren't supposed to show emotion in war, but that wasn't the reality.

Emotions were the thing that showed you were still alive.

The medics finally mustered their strength and slowly moved Jackson out of the basement of OP 2 and towards the broken aid station, once the firing outside had finally stopped. Hazel looked towards Catherine.

Catherine had seen Bill, Joe, Buck, Skip and Penkala leave or die in this war, just like Malarkey, she couldn't take Jackson, who was a mere sliver of innocence in the war. Like Hazel. Catherine had imagined it was Hazel in that position.

A 20 year old girl, dying in a war not meant for her.

Hazel had been in that position.

But eventually people began moving around and gathering their bearings or attempting to do something with themselves. But her emotions were dialed up even higher. She couldn't shake Jackson from her mind; it was like John Julian all over again.

A boy too innocent for the war, who didn't deserve to die at the hands of war. Hazel slowly sat down in a chair at the end of the table and stared at her hands. There wasn't a star to look at that night. Hazel gently let her head rest on the table and shut her eyes for a blissful moment of peace.

Catherine saw Hazel, the only one to let her head rest, against the table, letting her eyes shut away from war for a moment. Catherine slowly pulled a blanket from the back of a chair and stepped forward to wrap it around Hazel to warm her up. Hazel barely reacted, but she could feel the blanket and the warmth there.

When Catherine looked up a few men were watching her. She met Webster's eyes silently. Catherine looked away and walked back over to the stove and stood in front of it to warm up her hands. With her back facing the men, she let those tears fall down her cheeks. Her tears from Bill, Joe, Buck, and Skip and Penkala all falling down her face. Her tears for Jackson slipping to the ground. She had learned how to keep her cries quiet, as quiet as they possibly could be. She felt so ungodly broken. Jackson's death had just solidified it.

War is hell.

When Hazel slowly blinked herself awake, it was warm and quiet in the basement of OP 2. She felt warm, slightly light headed as her ODs were stiff but not super cold. She noticed that the two German prisoners were being guarded, but were resting, and a few of the other guys were resting.

It seemed that even in the brutal face of war, there was a bit of sympathy and humanity provided for a few moments of sleep. Hazel looked around and watched as Jones walked around, making sure the fire in the stove was still going, making sure the two men on guard, Ramirez and Popeye were still watching the sleeping Germans, that the men and women resting were resting and that the few that were awake were ok. She silently watched Jones do this, his quiet footsteps padding against the ground as he moved through the basement. He then met her eyes.

Hazel offered a small tired smile to him and he nodded with a small smile back. He glanced towards the Germans again before walking forward and sitting in a chair that was on the side of the table.

" How're you feeling?" Jones said to her. Hazel shrugged with a small smile.

" Ok, it is not the worst I've seen here, sir. With all this war. " Hazel said with a nod.

" We're just talking, you don't have to call me sir." Jones said and Hazel looked at him and nodded with a smile. 

" How long have you trained?" Jones asked her.

" Since February 1942." Hazel said as she looked at him. Jones' eyes showed the realization he came to.

" I've been away from home since February 1942, and now it is February 1945, so 3 years. Since I've seen home home really." Hazel said with a nod, " I've been deployed since June 5th, 1944, and I dropped into Normandy on the 6th. My life hasn't been the same since." Jones looked at her, as Hazel looked upon him with wise eyes.

" And right now, I don't even know how close to the end we are." Hazel whispered softly, with pained eyes. Jones stared at the young girl. Her eyes said a lot, about all the pain she's seen and gone through and the loss of her innocence and childhood she's had to comprehend loosing. She was just a girl, though. 

" I was part of the WAC, before I signed up to be here. But I wanted to be here, everyone who's here wanted to be here, in these spots. If it were for extra pay, or a purpose or for the cause of the war, we're all here and we all wanted to be here." Hazel told him. Jones nodded; it was why the bond Easy Company had was so powerful. Seeing so much pain and being so close to death too many times, caused this bond to be the way it was, to be as powerful and strong as it was. He understood.

" It's why the bond is the way it is." Jones said with a nod looking at her. Hazel shyly smiled at him with a nod. She knew what she meant. Everyone in Easy was the same way. She found herself doing anything for the guy next to her, she'd probably risk her life. Man, woman, it didn't matter. She'd risk her life to make sure that her friends, her family would survive. 

" I'm sorry about your wound," Jones told her and Hazel met his soft eyes. His eyes were similar to Jem's in a way.

" It's okay," Hazel said pressing a gentle hand to where the wound lay underneath, healing quicker with each passing day, " we all carry wounds from war, whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally. We're all victims." Jones watched her. There was no fear in her eyes as she said that too, pure truth and honestly. It wasn't meant to scare him. It was meant to tell him the cold, hard truth that war never told you itself. 

" The hospital showed me that," Hazel said, attempting to give him an explanation to her rather horrific answer, " men who were perfectly fine on the outside, but couldn't bear to see the blood on their fingertips from a paper cut. Men who couldn't bare to look outside at the sunshine again because it was too dark inside themselves to even let light in. I saw men break simply because their mind couldn't handle it, they couldn't handle this horrid war that has taken so much. We've fought for so long and look where we are. War is a horrible thing, I've started to realize it and I always have. War is so horrible. I never want to fight another war in my lifetime." Jones watched her.

" You're probably wondering why I then joined up, why I even chose to do this with that as my explanation." Hazel said with a soft sigh. 

" I knew I wanted to do something for the war, anything I could. It's why the WAC was my first position, Operation Virago was just the next level. And I knew I could take it. I wanted to be on the right side of history, for when we finally tell the citizens of America that they had women also fighting their war. I look around now and no one even cares that there's a woman of power like Catherine or a medic like Lizzie, no one seems to care. It was in the beginning, the thought of men and women fighting together that was so intriguing and I knew it would die down and the war would flush it out - it's why no one cares anymore, at all. I find that truly horrific what a war can do. But I wanted to fight, fight a war against something that I thought was horrible." Hazel said with a soft smile.

" Yet you still manage to smile, " Jones said quietly, " that's bravery." Hazel nodded, picking a bit at the top of the table she sat at, where the wood was splintering off just like her mind.

" Do you regret it?" Jones asked her. Hazel glanced towards him.

" No." she whispered softly, " I'll never regret the experience and the friends and family this has given me. Even with all the horror I've seen, it's been worth it."

And with the look in her eyes Jones knew that this tiny sniper with the biggest heart meant it. Her mind was like a cave system; as you moved deeper into it, you discovered there was even more inside than on the surface layer. You just had to be daring enough to enter it.

" Thank you, for telling me that." Jones said softly, " It can't have been easy." Hazel gently looked up towards him. 

" I mean no offense, Henry, but I've been through worse than just speaking the truth." Hazel said her voice honest. Hazel was genuine in her tone and she meant no offense at all.

Jones was new, a rookie, with a patrol for combat experience. He hadn't gone through what Easy had, but he still had a high respect for what they've become.

And the look in Hazel's eyes said it all. She had been through worse.

" None taken," Jones said with a soft smile, and Hazel smiled.

She was braver than most.


	18. sick of war

" She was just another girl, playing hopscotch with the stars."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

Jones eventually got up and began checking on everyone else again as Hazel stared at her hands. She looked towards where Catherine was, sitting against the wall of the basement eyes staring forward blankly, tear streaks on her face, as the flame seemed to dance to a tune of the cold in her eyes.

Then Catherine stood and slowly left the basement.

Hazel turned and watched her leave, but didn't move. Hazel couldn't. Catherine stepped outside and then looked to her right. Webster was sitting above the basement, up against the wall, helmet on, staring forward, as there was a show of the sky beginning to change colors, or at least turning from black to purples and blues.

The sun was rising.

Catherine bit her lip but then slowly walked over towards Webster. Webster looked up towards the woman as she stopped by his side. Catherine felt horrible for the way she had treated Webster, she felt terrible about it all. Webster slowly shifted over a bit on the cold ground. Catherine slowly sat down beside him, and stared forward towards the bombed out buildings and icy patches covered with mud and the slowly changing sky.

" I'm sorry." Catherine whispered, her voice like a ray of light to Webster's ears. Webster glanced toward her. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at him under the brim of her helmet. 

" You don't have to apologize for anything." Webster told her, as she sniffled, and let her eyes close, as a tear trailed down her cheek.

" I shouldn't have said that to you though, I shouldn't have taken it out on you." Catherine whispered, as her voice cracked. Catherine cursed herself; she was a mess and had been ever since D-Day and she blamed this war, this stupid war. Webster looked at her. 

" I'm just tired of this stupid fucking war." Catherine whispered, as she shook her head.

" I'm tired too." Webster said quietly. Catherine looked towards him. She felt sorry for herself for saying what she did to Webster, he was at the hospital, he didn't go AWOL, who cares? He's fine now and that's all that matters, it's one less life lost. 

" Why'd you join up?" Webster asked her. Catherine looked towards him and bit her lip.

" I knew I could fight, at least in the SPARs. That was before they sent out information on joining up with the men. I knew I could though. Especially with the paratroopers." Catherine said softly. Webster smiled.

" They're lucky to have you." Webster said. Catherine smiled slightly, as she brushed away a tear from her cheek. 

" I guess I was angry because I've seen what a war can do to a person," Catherine said, " how it just takes and takes and takes until all that's left is a body of bones." Webster met her eye.

" It's dehumanizing," she whispered, " I saw replacement in Bastogne, struggle to even realize it was their own hands in front of their face, attached to their wrists. I've seen them struggle to even eat a meal with their spoon. I've seen them struggle to even show they were hurting. And it sucks, all of it. Because I want to help them, and I've lead them through hell and high water, and can't do anything but sit here and hurt." Catherine nodded to herself and let out a shaky sigh. 

" It's like drowning," Webster said and Catherine looked up towards him. She nodded.

" In a bottomless pit, with a slab of rock around your ankle." Webster said, " Fighting to breath, fighting for every part of your being, but getting nowhere. And then eventually breaking and giving up, knowing you can't make it, that you have to give up."

" Yes," Catherine whispered, " exactly like that." Her mind filled with the image Webster had described.

" You wish you were at college instead of here?" Webster asked her. 

" No, actually," Catherine said softly, shaking her head, " the people there, they were rude."

" Rude as in...?" Webster said looking at her and Catherine sighed.

" People don't like being proved wrong, Web." Catherine said, " I don't party, even though I can beat anyone in a drinking game, I don't sleep around, I don't waste my life on booze, I want to do something with my life, with my degree, I want to get somewhere with it. Sleeping with a new guy each night, getting shit faced and then attempting to stay awake in class, is not, it's not the college experience I wanted. I wanted to show myself to this world and see what it had to offer and not just because of a status I had with the men and women that attended Cornell."

" So no, I'd rather be here, fighting a war," Catherine said, " not matter how much it sucks." Webster watched her. 

" Me too, Lieutenant." Webster said and Catherine looked up at him.

" Call me Catherine, Private." Catherine said with a small smile. Webster felt a small smile poke at the corners of his mouth and nodded.

The Lieutenant and the Private sat side by side as the sun rose, sitting in the silence that war rarely provided even in times like this.

Malarkey and Perco and Lieb had all come down when the morning was fresh to see everyone, but they were met with silent looks. Jackson was dead and he was gone. Hazel met Joe's eyes, but there was nothing to say.

The entire situation barely had a thing to be said about it.

By about mid-morning, Johnny, Jones and Webster moved the German prisoners out, along with an MP, and it remained quiet inside the basement. Catherine had gone with them, her mood slightly lightened even in the situation. Hazel retreated with Babe, Joe, Malarkey and Perconte upstairs to sleep in a bed for the remainder of the early morning. Hazel sat on the edge of Joe's bed, as he sat up, getting ready to light a cigarette. Babe was quiet as Perconte sipped his drink and Malarkey stood near Joe's head quiet, hands in his pockets. Hazel's emotions were conflicted, so overwhelming conflicted as she sat by Joe's feet, eyes unfocused. Then they heard footsteps. Hazel slowly looked up and watched Catherine, Webster and Jones all walk in slowly.

" We hard you got two prisoners. Good work." Malarkey said as he looked towards Jones, who nodded silently. Webster came over and stood beside where Hazel sat, placing his hand up on the rung of the bunk, as he watched Catherine sit down near Babe's feet, her eyes unfocused just like Hazel's. 

" Jackson's dead." Webster said.

" Yeah, we heard." Liebgott said quietly. 

" Yeah, well, they want another patrol tonight." Perconte said as he walked over to sit down on the bunk under Liebgott. Hazel bit her lip and looked back down at her hands again, and clenched them together before unclenching them.

Hazel met Joe's eyes, before he looked away and lied down against the bunk. Hazel looked over at Webster, who glanced her way. She smiled sadly, before brushing a piece of hair behind her head and sighing looking down again. The entire situation seemed restless at this point anyway.

There was a lot of going from the basement to up with the bunks and trying to get rest or eating. There wasn't much talking, but it was a comfortable bout of silence that brought a sense of peace and calm. Hazel sat by Joe's feet a remainder of the morning, as Malarkey brewed up what coffee he could, and other people sat aimlessly around, their 1,000 yard stares the most prevalent of all. Babe eventually got Catherine resting in a bunk as he sat by her side, sipping his coffee every so often. Catherine had grown closer to both Babe and Malarkey since the 5 men who had been all their closest friends were now gone. They needed each other. Hazel stared up towards the ceiling, listening to the gentle wind blowing into the room and swirling around as if a fan were pushing it.

Hazel then looked towards Malarkey who stood, brewing the coffee, his back turned. But his shoulders were slumped over and his entire demeanor looked broken. Hazel found herself slowly climbing down from the bunk and walking over to Malarkey.

" Hey," Hazel said as she walked up to his side. Malarkey looked over at her, his eyes the saddest she'd seen them.

" Hi," he said and then shoved something in his hand into his front pocket. Skip's rosary. Hazel watched his eyes the sadness breaking her heart. His hands were shaking as he tried to stir the coffee, she could see it in the corner of her eye. So she slowly reached forward and clasped her hands over his.

" Go and get some rest," she whispered softly, " I'll take care of this." Malarkey watched her, pained. Hazel could see the tears that bubbled in his eyes, she could, she truly could.

And Malarkey was one to not let his emotions get the best of him, but as the two stood over coffee, on of Skip's favorite things besides a good cigarette, she saw Malarkey crumble. Hazel immediately let go of the coffee and reached forward to bring Malarkey into her arms.

He was hurting so much, all he needed was someone there for him - a friend.

A friend who wouldn't leave him.

Malarkey's arms wrapped around her as he shoved his face into her neck, squeezing his eyes shut, forcing himself to remain anything but vulnerable but failing, as Hazel heard the cry escape his mouth. It was okay to break, Hazel had told herself.

Emotions were okay to have, she told herself.

Emotions needed to be more welcomed because without them, they wouldn't be human.

It was okay to show emotions, to be vulnerable.

It was okay.

Hazel was willing to bear her friends' pain so that they didn't have to. She had bore her own and knew the toll it took to take it all alone. Now, she took theirs in, like a sponge, they deserved relief from all this horror.

Malarkey deserved more than this horrid world. He had been so bright, so young and joyful, so upbeat, laughs leaving his mouth, and jokes and compliments and pure joy from the ginger. Now, it was anything but.

A war-torn Donald Malarkey.

It hurt to see her friend like this. But she was here for him like the rest of this company, they all were.

Hazel eventually got Malarkey to sleep on a bunk and she tucked him in all around before making sure he shut his eyes for some rest. Skip Muck was more than Malarkey's best friend, he was a brother, he was family. Hazel slowly stepped toward the coffee and began stirring it, watching it swirl in circles.

" Hey," a voice said and Hazel turned to see Catherine there.

" Cath," Haze said and a smile filled her face as Catherine smiled gently, " coffee?" Catherine nodded. Hazel poured coffee into her cup and then the two stood quietly together.

" Don okay?" Catherine asked her as the two women glanced to where he slept peacefully under where Liebgott slept. Hazel watched him and then nodded. 

" We all will heal, it'll just take time." Hazel said softly nodding to Catherine who nodded with a small smile.

" I'm glad you're back, Hazel," Catherine told her, " I missed you out there, it was hard." Hazel smiled softly. 

" I missed you too," Hazel said, " at the hospital, I struggled, but now I know what struggling alone is like and hope none of you have to struggle alone at least." Catherine watched her.

" I've struggled alone before," Hazel said, " with everything with my father. It's a lot like a landslide, wondering what true love it from a father. I've found more love in this company than that of my father." Catherine gently wrapped her arm around Hazel's shoulder. 

" We'll be okay," Catherine said with soft, motherly eyes. Hazel nodded with a sad smile.

" We all will." Hazel said. They had to believe that. Hazel dished out coffee to most of the guy but finally Joe saw that she was staggering on two feet and finally dragged her to a bunk bed for rest. 

" I'm fine, Joe." she said as she looked up at him. Joe smirked at her.

" I know you are, but for my sanity, just close your eyes and rest for a bit." he said looking at her,

" I'll make sure the coffee's okay."

" Are you sure?" she said, watching him hopefully. Joe smiled.

" Yes, Parker, now rest," he said. Hazel slowly sat down on the bed and pulled off her boots before curling up on her side. Joe slowly crouched down by the side of the bunk and watched her.

" Can you tell me about San Fransisco again?" Hazel asked him quietly. Joe smiled at her and gently leaned against her bunk, reaching forward to brush a few strands of hair from her face. Hazel quirked a smile. 

" What about San Fransisco?" Joe asked her.

" What the stars are like." Hazel whispered softly. 

" Well," Joe said, as he ran a hand through her hair brushing it away from her face, " you can drive across the Golden Gate Bridge, near Bonita Cove, where you can look out on the Pacific. You can see every star, Oroin, Sirius, Cassiopeia. All of 'em, and you can't hear any noise, just the crickets and the water, or you know the breeze, brushing through the trees. And it's always the best time of night too, the stars always shine brightest away from the city life." Her eyes were closed, but there was a small smile on her face.

" I thought you said you didn't stargaze, Joe." Hazel said softly. 

" I have a mother and multiple sisters, Hazel, stargazing is a favorite." Joe told her. Hazel laughed lightly, a soft breath through her nose. Hazel yawned and snuggled her head into the pillow. Joe gently continued brushing his hand through her hair, the pads of his thumbs brushing over her face every so often. His touch was soft, and it put Hazel to sleep.

Joe was so hot-headed, and angry and overwhelmed and ready to kill, but right now, with Hazel, he was always at his softest with her.

" They'd like you, too." Joe whispered softly, before retracting his hand back and looking gently at her as she slept. She was so innocent. Joe slowly stood and retreated downstairs again and into the basement of OP 2.

In the afternoon, those who had rested, awoke from their naps and retreated downstairs to await further instruction from that of Speirs or Winters or Nixon. So there Hazel was sitting between Babe and Alley, her head on the table as she kicked her feet back and forth as they didn't touch the ground. Catherine was between Skinny and Webster, smoking a cigarette her eyes wavering.

" Who's got a light?" Jones asked as Alley leaned forward to light it. Hazel offered a smile to Webster who looked over before staring forward again. 

" Whatcha looking at, Webster?" a voice called, and it got slightly quieter. It was Cobb. He sounded drunk. Hazel's eyes didn't leave Cobb, horrified. Her mind flashed to the image of her father standing there instead.

" Yeah, that's what I thought, college boy." Cobb said, as Hazel bit her lip. 

" Are you drunk, trooper?" Jones asked firmly, as he turned and looked towards the man.

" Leave me alone." Cobb said as Hazel looked down at her hands. It wasn't her dad. Cobb was not her dad. 

" Answer the question." Jones said.

" Yes, sir, I am drunk, sir." Cobb said, eyes watery, " Dunk. Sick and tried of fucking patrols. Taking orders-"

" Hey, Cobb, shut up." Johnny said as he turned and looked at him, " It's boring, okay?" Cobb only smirked a bit, eyes unfocused.

" Taking his side, Johnny?" Cobb said before looking at him with glazed eyes. Johnny just turned around as Jones continued to stare forward. 

" Yeah, I am." Johnny said. Hazel looked at Babe a bit, and he sighed. Cobb just sucked down more of his drink.

" And what about the college girl?" Cobb called, as Catherine looked toward him pulling the cigarette from her lips. 

" Enlighten me." muttered Catherine. She could care less of what Cobb had to say about her.

" Why'd you even bother? You made it big at Cornell, why would you even bother risking your life?" Cobb grumbled. Catherine glanced at him. Hazel bit her lip and cuddled her head into her arms again, pleading for it to stop, as she thought of her father over and over. She didn't want to. 

" I wanted to fight, Cobb. Now, what are you fighting for?" Catherine gritted out, staring at him. Cobb just sucked down the rest of his drink before turning and walking out. He didn't have an answer for the Lieutenant.


	19. the most powerful force in the world

" Poetry is what happens when your mind stops working. And for a moment, all you do is feel."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

Cobb got into an altercation with Foley after and got arrested.

Hazel resorted to getting some rest after that. She was drained, emotionally, mentally and physically; she was just exhausted. Hazel found a little spot to curl up on and rest her tired head for a moment, listening to the sounds of quiet chatter and clicks of weapons. Hazel woke up to a voice in front of her. She was slow in opening her eyes but saw it was Shifty on his knees gently shaking her shoulder. Speirs wasn't that far away looking at her. Hazel slowly sat up with tired eyes and looked around.

" Hm?" she asked.

" Briefing, Speirs is trying to get everyone together." Shifty said quietly.

" Oh," Hazel said as she sat up fully and yawned, stretching herself out before standing. Most of the guys were around the table nearby, so Hazel shuffled over and sat down beside Liebgott who was sipping his drink, sitting on the table. She sat down with a tired sigh, praying that before this next patrol she could rest her head on the rather comfortable wooden table and get a few more hours of rest.

Joe was watching her softly, but she was too tired to even smile. Joe gently rubbed her back, noticing the girl's exhaustion, seemingly like she were carrying the world's exhaustion of war on her back. Joe gently handed her the cup and she took a sip of the warm liquid before passing it back to him with a grateful smile.

Catherine was sharing a smoke with Chuck as the two were talking quietly side by side a map in their hands, shaking their head and nodding back and forth.

Hazel sighed, thinking of Lizzie. Hazel hadn't seen her friend in what felt like ages. Hazel hoped she was feeling better, but she knew that she was warm, and eating and resting, 3 things she had been deprived of out in the Ardennes when she was severely sick. She needed all the peace and quiet she could get.

" Sarge, they're on their way in." a voice said and Hazel looked over to see Webster stooping down and walking inside the basement. 

" 10, hutt." Johnny called, and Hazel quickly stood beside Joe and Chuck, as Webster walked in, the 3 Captains slowly following.

" Martin." Winters said rubbing his hands together.

" Sir." Johnny said. Winters walked in rubbing his hands together, as Speirs appeared behind him. Winters' eyes seemed to tell a different story than what initially was going to happen, as he looked at the group in front of him.

" At ease." Winters said. 

" This everybody, McCown?" Winters asked Catherine.

" Yes, sir." Catherine answered with the smallest hint of a smile. Hazel slowly leaned up against the table with her arms crossed as Winters took the head of the table, looking at the group of soldiers. Winters removed his helmet and observed the group.

" You men and women did an excellent job last night. I'm, uh, I'm proud." Winters said as Hazel immediately thought back to Jackson, here one minute and gone the next.

" I'm proud, I just saw Colonel Sink, he's proud too. In fact, he's so proud he wants you to do another patrol across the river, tonight." Winters said and Hazel looked down at her hands. She bit her lip as she glanced at Babe across from her. Silence seemed to follow that announcement. She watched Winters meet her eyes for a brief moment before looking at his watch, looking rather conflicted. 

" Any moment now, the outpost we hit last night will go up in flames, Martin?" Winters asked looking towards the man.

" Yes, sir." Johnny said rather matter-of-factly. 

" It means we'd have to venture farther into town this time." Winters proposed and Hazel felt her heart drop inside her chest a bit. Deeper? How many more lives would they risk for that? She could see the pain on Winters face as he said that.

" Captain Speirs, you have the map, please?" Winters asked the Captain. 

" Yeah, Sergeant Grant." Speirs said, handing the map over to Chuck who took it and pulled it down in front of Winters and a few others for them to see. Hazel watched Catherine's eyes immediately dart to the map and beginning looking it over.

" We have enemy movement here, and here." Winters said as he pointed to a few locations that were on the map, " Which means this is our new house target here." Hazel bit her lip worriedly, as she did so often, sitting up like a child with her legs beneath her body, leaning forward to get a better look at the map itself. 

" We recovered all the boats, so we'll be setting off from the same place we did last night." Winters explained.

" We're not changing the plan any, sir?" Johnny asked him. Winters was quiet as Hazel glanced towards him, with innocent eyes. 

" No, plan is the same." Winters stated. Hazel glanced to Babe, who looked at him with a destroyed glance. Liebgott was quiet from next to Hazel as he gently placed the cigarette to his lips and let out a quiet, exhausted sigh.

" It will be 0200 hours instead of 0100." Winters stated calmly. Hazel interlocked her two hands together and stared at them mindlessly, her heart hurting for having to experience another patrol like that. No one here wanted that.

" Is that clear?" Winters asked.

" Yes, sir." came the jumbled response back. 

" Okay, good because, uh..." Winters paused for a moment, not looking up at the group as his eyes trained on the map, " I want you all to get a full night's sleep tonight." Hazel looked up at him, confused.

" Which means, in the morning, you will report to me that you made it across the river, into German lines, but were unable to secure any live prisoners." Winters said. It was quiet.

" Understand?" Winters asked.

" Yes, sir." came the rather confused response back. Winters seemingly looked around and met every man and women's eyes as he did so.

Winters would do anything for Easy Company, it was the men he trained with; it made no difference to him that he was Captain of 2nd Battalion, Easy Company would always feel like his company, and he'd do anything to keep them all safe.

" Good." Winters said, as he folded up the map, " Look sharp for tomorrow. We're moving off the line." Then Winters turned and walked away, leaving the group of soldiers, completely and utterly confused, yet filled with relief at the same time. 

" Did I fucking hear the right?" Liebgott asked as Hazel felt an exhausted smile spread across her face. Smiles and laughter and sighs of relief filled with basement, as well as the flow of chatter. Hazel slowly stood and walked into the hug that Liebgott brought her into and she smiled thankfully.

" Oh thank god." Hazel whispered as she shoved her head into his neck. The two pulled back and Liebgott smirked at her. 

" Now we can finally get some actual rest." he said and she sighed with relief. Hazel finally felt somewhat happy about sleeping tonight.

" 1st Sergeant Lipton." Winters said.

" Sir." Lipton said as he stood in front of Winters.

" Your honorable discharge as an enlisted man." Winters said. Lizzie and George stood side by side watching Lipton receive what he deserved, tiny smiles on both their faces. They'd forgotten about supplies a while ago, as Lizzie felt a smile approach her lips, a genuine one.

" Just keep 'em coming, Luz." Skinny said as he hauled supplies into his arms.

" Yeah, whatever." George muttered as Webster appeared, and both Lizzie and George leaned to the side almost synchronized. 

" And Battlefield commission as a 2nd Lieutenant." Winters said, and Lizzie felt giddy watching Lip receive it.

" Look what we have here, boys, and lady." Webster said with a smile, as Lizzie's eyes felt brightened by the smile on Lip's face. 

" Hey, pal." George said.

" Congratulations, Carwood." Winters said, as Lizzie felt her heart burst. Lip deserved this. 

" Thank you, sir." Lip answered. Both Skinny and Web turned to look where George and Lizzie were looking. The other officers started congratulating Lip on the commission but Lizzie watched the joy on Lip's face grow, and the sickness fade. Lizzie glanced at George who began smiling proudly towards him. Her heart swelled watching George smile at Lip. George nodded and Lizzie watched as Lip looked his way and nodded. Lizzie felt happy, so happy.

" Lieutenant Jones." Winters said as he stepped forward, " Regiment has seen fit to promote you to 1st Lieutenant. They want you on staff up there." Winters unfolded a paper and handed it to him. Jones looked up at Winters.

" Congratulations and good luck." Winters said as the two shook hands. Lizzie smiled.

" Thank you, sir." Jones said. Lizzie smiled, her heart swelling. 

" Dismissed." Winters said.

" Looks like you lost another platoon leader, huh, Web?" George asked, as he began loading things back into a box. She heard Webster laugh. Lizzie smiled.

That afternoon, Hazel had taken a trip to CP, hurrying across the tiny little street to look for Floyd, she only had met up with a scattered group from the 3 platoons and noticed he hadn't been there. When she stepped inside the little CP that was set up she found Catherine, Tab and Harry Welsh! A smile spread across Hazel's entire face as she stepped forward into the room, watching with glowing eyes.

" Hazel!" Tab called, immediately jumping around the two to run towards Hazel. 

" Tab!" Hazel called as the two caught each other in a hug.

" Man, I didn't think you'd be back this fast," Tab said as he pulled back and held at arms length,

" You look great, you healing up?"

" Best as I can," she said and Tab smiled at her. 

" Hey there, kid!" Harry called as he noticed Tab leading the tiny sniper over. Hazel smiled softly.

" I heard about the wound, how're you feeling?" he asked her and Hazel smiled.

" I'm okay, sir, really, how about you?" she asked him with innocent eyes. Harry smiled.

" Doing fine, kid, doing fine." he said and Hazel smiled as the two hugged. And then Lizzie walked in like she were a walking hot knife going through butter, not even paying attention, muttering to herself. 

" Lizzie?" Catherine called and Lizzie looked over and almost knocked into the wall before slowing herself.

" Hey!" she called, " Lieutenant Welsh!" Lizzie came over as Harry chuckled.

" Hey, there my savior." Harry said as Lizzie hugged the man.

" I think you should be telling Gene that," Lizzie said.

" Yeah, I will, where is he anyway?" Harry asked.

" Funny you should ask, I'm doing supply runs, George's hoarding the medical supplies." Lizzie said and Catherine smirked.

" Want me to rough him up?" Catherine suggested, " I know exactly where he's ticklish." Catherine said as the group laughed.

" Be my guest, but be careful of the radioman, he can't be losing an eye, yet at least." Lizzie said. 

" Hey you almost took out my eye," Tab complained, " you remember that, Elizabeth."

" Can you cut it with the Elizabeth, bullshit? We've been on this since D-Day." she grumbled, flipping through the papers in her hands. Tab did one of those belly laughs, where he leaned back a bit and cackled to the sky. 

" And clearly this obnoxious." Catherine muttered with a smirk as Tab scoffed.

" Both of you now?" Tab said and the room chuckled. 

" Well you four, I'm heading out, gonna see what Dick has to say about my steady return and if Nixon happens to have some Vat 69 laying around." Harry said, placing his hands on both Tab and Catherine's shoulder.

" Think he ran out through Bastogne?" Tab questioned.

" Run out? I hardly doubt, if anything he's managed to snag more in his time being here, than ever before. He's gotta have something." Harry said and then situated his helmet.

" Vat 69, here I come." he said as he slowly left the room, a jump in his step. Harry was back. And of course, ready for more alcohol. 

" Never get stranded in the middle of Normandy with him," Lizzie said, pointing to Tab, as he snickered.

" You're acting like you didn't have a fun time." Tab complained. Lizzie narrowed her eyes at him.

" You proceeded to talk for a majority of the time, Floyd," Lizzie said and Tab smirked.

" And here we are on the Floyd bullshit, Elizabeth." Tab said and Lizzie rolled her eyes, " My voice is a complete and utter joy to listen to."

" Oh yeah totally," Lizzie said sarcastically, " walking through the boiling hot sun with mosquitoes, thinking you're breakfast and your voice is in my ear. I'd so skip Paris for that."

" You know you loved it," Tab said and Lizzie groaned.

" Yeah I love it as much as white chocolate," Lizzie said, " I hate white chocolate."

" I'll take your word for it, Lizzie." Hazel said as Catherine laughed. 

" Please do," Lizzie said, " Shifty could barely get a single word in as we moved through the high grass."

" No," Tab said and Lizzie raised a brow, " you're telling the story wrong."

" Since when was this a story?" Lizzie jabbed back.

" Alright, children, we are a long way from Normandy my friends," Catherine said as Lizzie shoved his shoulder and Tab scowled.

" You suck," Tab grumbled as Lizzie smirked proudly.

" So do you," Lizzie answered with a wink and Tab glowered.

" She always wins these." he grumbled and the two women laughed as Lizzie turned away with a little salute and a confident smirk towards George Luz and her medical supplies.

The basement of OP 2 was just a little bit warmer tonight, knowing there was not a patrol they'd have to risk their lives for tonight.

A relief.

Such a wonderful relief.

Hazel sat back in a chair that night, feet kicked up on the table, humming _I Don't Wanna Set the World on Fire_ , a tiny smile on her face as she thought of Jem, taking every last drop of Malarkey's meal from her tin and spin.

Maybe there was hope for Easy Company.

Joe Liebgott found himself taking bits of chocolate from a Hershey's chocolate bar, with his feet kicked up on a nearby box, trying to savor every last bit of chocolate, and then keep a bit for Hazel - _she loved these_. George Luz was organizing boxes still with help from Vest who moved in and out of the room, with mail, boxes and supplies.

" You doing alright, there buddy?" George asked Joe who glanced towards him and perked up a brow.

" You have me chocolate, course I'm doing alright." Joe said as he took another tiny piece. George smirked as he placed another few pieces into the box.

" Heard we're moving off the line," George said.

" Yeah, thank Christ already, I've only been seeing white and grey and fucking despair." Joe grumbled and bit into his Hershey bar again.

" Thought you two would be here," a voice said and the duo watched Catherine walk in, helmet on her hip. 

" Aye, Lieutenant!' George said a smile perking up on his face, " Escaping death?"

" As per usual." she answered with a smirk.

" What's up?" Joe asked, biting his chocolate again and savoring it. It was so good.

" Nixon's got a flask of Vat 69 sitting up in his office," Catherine said. You could hear a pin drop.

" As of," George said looking at his watch," 1500?"

" Close," Catherine said and then managed to pull out a silver flask from her coat, " or right here."

" Holy shit," mumbled Joe as he sat up and watched the woman take a sip and sigh.

" Yep, I needed that," she said, before offering it up, " take a sip and make it quick, we don't need Nixon finding out we were taking sip of his lucky booze."

" You kidding, I won't even make a dent," George said as he took it in his hands just before Joe was about to grab it.

" Hey, asshole, me first." Joe said as George chuckled.

" You'll get your chance." George said, " Damn that's good."

" My turn," Joe said as he reached up to take the drink from George's hand who begrudgingly forked it over.

" And I might've just heard that we're moving out to Mourmelon tomorrow," Catherine said, " not just some run down town in the middle of the countryside." 

" Hallelujah," George said with a smirk on his lips and Catherine grinned. She nodded.

" You owe me a dance there then, Lieutenant." George said as Joe damn-near choked on his drink, looking up at George with a raised brow. Catherine smirked.

" What for?" she said.

" I said you had a pretty face, I didn't take that as payment." George said and Catherine smirked.

" You have yourself a deal, but before careful I'll wipe the floor with you." Catherine said. Joe laughed.

" I'd pay money to see this," Joe said.

" Is this like a show to you?" Catherine said and Joe chuckled.

" Precisely." Joe answered smugly.

" Honey, you have yet to see my dance moves." George said with a smirk. Catherine chuckled. 

" Right, right, like you weren't tripping over Lizzie's feet." Catherine said.

" Hey, it was 1 week of knowing her, I was not gonna get a medic's feet injured. Gene would be up my ass." George said and Catherine laughed, before plucking the smoke from George's lips and placing it on her's.

" Thank you George," she said as she heard Joe wheeze.

" You're lucky you're a Lieutenant," George said. Catherine leaned back and crossed her feet, smirking. 

" Or what? You challenging me?" Catherine said as Joe sipped the flask again. George smirked.

" You're on," George said and Catherine laughed. 

" Here ya go," Joe said pushing the flask into her grasp. She shook it and then scoffed.

" Joe, how much did you drink?" she scoffed.

" Like 2 sips, he took a lot more." Joe said and Catherine snickered.

" Yeah, right," she said as the two men laughed.

Maybe this war would be over sooner than they thought.

Hazel went out to the balcony that night, to look at the stars. She sat quietly, her legs curled up against her, as slight shiver in her body as she looked at the bright twinkling lights the filled the sky above her.

A cup of coffee was in her shaking grasp, and as much as she waited to sit in the warmth, it felt better to be outside, alone and in her mind which lay in a calm ambiance for the moment. It was a peace she needed. A blanket from Chuck was wrapped around her shoulders comfortably, as the warm mug kept her hands and fingertips from freezing. She could hear the slight laughter from inside, the boys were playing card games by the little lantern that was set on a table between the bunks.

Hearing their laughs made Hazel smile softly to herself. She softly sipped her coffee and let out a gentle sigh. Hazel started to think about life after the war, it was the only way to comfort herself as she sat here watching the stars dance across her vision.

Hazel gently leaned to the side to look into the room where all the guys sat around the table playing cards and her eyes suddenly set on Joe.

What if she had a life with Joe after the war?

What if she finally worked up the courage to tell him how she felt?

But she was scared, the last time she loved someone, her father, he had left her and her mother behind and didn't seem to think twice about it with no regrets.

Would she tell him and he would run?

Hazel watched him laugh though, as he placed his cards in front of Chuck and then slapped Chuck's shoulder lightly.

His face was golden.

Hazel softly leaned back against the outside of the room and stared at the stars. Her heart raced at the thought of telling Joe that she was falling in love with him and more than just that stupid smirk but his personality, his soul, his loyalty and fierce love for his friends, his soft side even.

Her mind suddenly went soft.

Hazel couldn't deny it, she thought sometimes if she would have a life with Joe after the war somehow. Her fingers gently tapped against the warm cup, as an innocent, sad smile draped over her lips in the cold dark.

The reality she felt, would never come out. Love was hard. She knew that. Fatherly love was hard. It always was and always had been.

Would true love be even harder?

Hazel let out a shaky sigh and thought of the love she had for Catherine and Lizzie, that was sisterly love - and that love was stronger than any force in the entire world. Hazel sighed. Love and trust was hard. She'd get through it eventually, she didn't know when, but she would.

" Hey, Mom..." she whispered, her voice gentle, hoping on the other side of the world her mother was possibly staring at the sun and thinking of this horrid war, " I wish I could tell you I loved you again." Hazel let out a sigh and rubbed her fingers between the fabric of the blanket over her shoulders. 

" Everyone's doing okay," Hazel said with a soft nod, " and I'm okay, too." Hazel smiled softly, and then let her shoulders slump.

" I wish I could talk to you in person, about everything. These stupid things called emotions." Hazel whispered, eyes said. Hazel looked down and softly brought the cup to her lips. 

" Love's hard for me, but the person who has shown me the love I deserve, has made me start to think that love, true love isn't as hard as it seems." Hazel whispered. She smiled to herself, her heart softly thumping. Hazel gently sighed and continued tapping her fingers softly against the surface of the cup.

" I trust him with my life, mom, and he has a soul, a good one, even if he doesn't think he does himself. I've seen it, I've seen the good soul he has and I've seen what a beautiful soul he does have." Hazel whispered and then smiled to herself. 

" He has a nice smile as well, a cute one," Hazel said and then giggled, before she blushed, surprising herself that she had even said that.

" Hey," a voice said and Hazel looked over and smiled softly to see Catherine. She needed a Catherine moment. 

" Hi." Hazel whispered, an innocent smile on her face, that had seen the tortures and tragedies of the war and the fear that struck one soldier to another. Catherine slowly sat down beside Hazel and looked at her with soft eyes.

" You doing okay, out here all alone?" Catherine asked her gently. 

" Fine," Hazel said, " but it's actually my heart." Catherine glanced at her softly.

" Your heart?" Catherine asked. Hazel nodded. 

" Love's hard for me, Cath," Hazel whispered. Catherine gently wrapped her arm over Hazel's shoulder and rubbed it.

" And love, it's such a big word for me, and to say it to someone, it means a lot, it means so much and to finally feel love? It just, it makes my heart ache." Hazel whispered.

" Hazel?" Catherine asked and Hazel looked at Catherine with soft eyes.

" I think I love Joe." Hazel whispered, her heart racing. And Catherine saw tears fill her eyes and watched Hazel look down as if she were ashamed.

" Aw, Hazel," Catherine whispered, as Hazel caved into Catherine's warm side. Catherine's mind began racing, thoughts zipping wildly though her mind.

Hazel loved Joe.

But Catherine could see it in the way Hazel looked at Joe, blushed around him, laughed with him, just what she was like being with him. But it wasn't just attraction, no, it was more than that. More than just what met the eye. It was their prolonged deep connection that helped them know what the other was thinking with a glance. And Catherine was positive both of them had looked at the curve of each other's lip and memorized it, as if understanding each and every detail - they knew each other's smiles. The signal of happiness.

" How?" Hazel whispered, her voice breaking. 

" Because you love him for him, and that's okay. I feel that is the purest form of love there is." Catherine whispered gently.

" But love has no place in war." Hazel whispered, her voice breaking, " Why would I amount to this?" Catherine watched Hazel.

" Well, you know I love you." Catherine said and Hazel smiled softly.

" I know you do." Hazel said and Catherine smiled, squeezing her shoulder tightly. 

" Love is okay, it keeps this war better able to handle, easier to handle all of it, actually." Catherine said gently. Hazel sniffled.

" You think?" Hazel asked her. 

" Of course, love is powerful," Catherine said, " and it's okay to love deeply. It's what humans do." Hazel smiled softly and wiped at her eyes.

" And when the time comes," Catherine said softly, " you tell him that you love him, what's the worst that could happen?" 

" Yeah." Hazel whispered softly nodding.

" Whenever you're ready," Catherine said, " but love is okay, remember that." Hazel nodded and then let her weary head rest against Catherine's shoulder as she let her eyes shut and her mind stop thinking.

Maybe love was what she needed more of instead of shying away from the fear of not being loved.

Maybe just loving herself was what she needed even more.

Moving out the following day, and hopefully back to Mourmelon was the hope that every needed. Hazel hoped that Mourmelon would bring much needed rest and food and sleep that everyone needed. Hazel walked out into the cloudy morning with her helmet firmly on her head, bag on her shoulder, boots sloshing in the mud, and rifle on her shoulder as she approached where she saw guys like Chuck and Lieb sitting. Hazel approached and as she did a smile fell on her face.

" Hazel!" Chuck called out to her as she looked up. They could recognize her from the dimples in her cheeks and her bright eyes.

" Hey, help me up will you?" she asked.

Liebgott's hand appeared as Chuck took her things. Hazel softly looked up to meet Joe's eyes. And they only looked at her with adoration.

Hazel's newfound emotions and feelings and love was daunting, but maybe love was what the world needed more of. love was okay, it was good and more love made the world even better. Hazel smiled.

Hazel grabbed Joe's hand as he pulled her up so she could sit beside him. The second she sat down she sighed in relief. Almost 3 months of hell would finally be over, and they could go back to Mourmelon. It would be different, entirely, and it would feel weird, but Hazel would have to get used to it, like everyone else. Hazel watched Lieutenant Jones come over and look up at the group.

" Good luck, men. Good luck, ladies." he said with a smile. Hazel watched Catherine lean forward with a small smile.

" Thank you, sir." came the chorus of responses. Hazel smiled at him, before noticing Webster wandering up. She smiled watching him nod to Lieutenant Jones. Lieutenant Jones smiled and so did Hazel. Joe was the one to help Webster up and into the truck again as they began pulling away from the small, snow covered town with relief in their systems.

They were finally going somewhere away from here, away from Belgium, away from the French-German bordered, away from the Ardennes, away from the horror that would follow many of them through the rest of their lives.

But with love, love could cure anything.

And maybe loving one another, despite their fears and the horrors they all faced, maybe they'd heal each other's wounds the best they could, as far as they could.

And it'd be okay, it would all be okay.

**_By the time they left Haguenau, Easy Company's European Campaign had taken them from England to France, Holland and Beligum._ **

**_Soon they would be entering Germany._ **


	20. barriers

" When emotions become speechless, it is expressed only through tears."

_\- Shanmuga Priya_

✰✰✰

Hazel had finally decided - she was in fact the hopeless baby bird she felt she were back in the hospital in France.

A baby bird who couldn't seem to get off its feet, remaining the runt it was, remaining that scared and frail being it had always been.

Because even if leaving Haguneau had left her heart looking for hope, nothing but dread arrived in her being when they slowly pulled closer to Mourmleon.

Hazel sat there stone faced. Every fiber in her body felt frozen, in an almost stagnant stance, as she thought about Bastogne and each and every horror that encompassed Bastogne. Hazel didn't knew if she could ever see that place again, where she had seen friends die, wounded and emotionless. She didn't know if she herself could face Bastogne in the way she thought.

Bad memories ingrained in her brain like clay.

Bad memories of her childhood, her youth, her bringing up in a high school where you were bullied for simply being the quiet girl that no one knew the name of.

This was another bad memory - one that sought out to play as if it were a movie in the cinema, that somber tune playing in the back.

Hazel's eyes briefly met the chained gates that lead to Mourmleon and her heart gave out an ache, thinking of men like Bill and Joe Toye or Buck and Hoobler or Skip and Penkala. It was a heart ache that would never cease to heal. It was an indescribable heart break of men you fought with who were your brothers, your family, who were now gone.

The gates that lead to Mourmelon were like a harsh reminder that many of the people who had entered Bastogne with them, were officially gone.

And it was like a stab in the chest.

Many faces portrayed relief, exhaustion, raw tears of realizing for the first time they would not have to worry about the Germans bombing them every night. There were many conflicting emotions that everyone felt pulling into the camp that once housed many soldiers who had now gone to the heavens above.

Hazel hopped off the truck that had brought them here, and felt powerless as her feet slowly brought her to walk inside the gates. She could vividly remember the call that had sent her out of those very gates, into the freezing cold of Bastogne and the Ardennes forest.

When Hazel's feet had started moving, it felt like a ghost were in her body, directing her towards the entrance to the gates, not her actual being. Hazel walked in alone, as most of the other guys and even Lizzie and Catherine walked in in front of her. Hazel felt the weight of the world on her shoulders.

What would Faye Tanner be told when she heard Skip was killed?

What about Penkala's family?

Where would Buck go?

How would Bill and Joe feel with the injuries they'd gotten?

What emotional set back would it provide?

Hazel followed in behind the rest of the group, dragging her feet, not wanting to face the onslaught of emotions she would feel entering the barrack again without the men who had risked their lives and limbs for Easy Company and America.

The 502nd was there, but this time there was no celebration of their arrival like in 1944; the 502nd saw the raw, pained and emotion filled faces of the 506th as they entered.

Hazel headed towards her barrack, the one she had been in before Bastogne. When she walked in, she looked around sadly. There were a few open beds, with empty trunks at the end and made beds, with empty nightstands.

Hazel stood at the entrance, trying to imagine Bill looking towards her from the foot of his bed as he threw his things down on the bed and cracked a joke. She shut her eyes and tried to picture it, but when she opened her eyes, there was no one by his bed, not even a sense of life at the bed.

Hazel sucked in a breath of air, and slowly walked forward towards her bed. Hazel slowly placed her bag down, followed by her rifle, and then slowly removed the helmet from her head. She stared at the 3 things she had hauled around. Then she slowly turned and sat down on the bed.

It was fairly quiet in the barrack, not many people were talking, but nobody really knew how to react. They were warm, they would be eating actual food soon, they'd sleep in beds with showered hair, and they'd be able to sleep through the night without a shelling at least; no more foxholes.

Hazel looked up and glanced towards Shifty who always had the bed to her left. He was quiet as well, like he couldn't really comprehend everything, but nobody could. His eyes were unfocused, and his hands were curled around one another as he sat there, holding them together through white, laced fingers.

Catherine was staring at the ground from her spot across from Hazel, the ground next to Joe Toye's vacant bed. Lizzie glanced at Hazel with a sad smile, before blowing out her lips and looking at Skip's old bed. Hazel's heart fell a bit. They'd all lost friends out there, friends who had been family.

And it hurt.

" Hey guys, showers." a voice called and it was the reassuring voice of the new Lieutenant Lipton. A few guys began chattering, but Hazel felt she wouldn't start talking until she was showered and told that this was real. The girls had designated showers in the back, there were 10 stalls, but they only needed 3.

When Hazel stepped into the shower and shut the door behind her, she couldn't believe she was showering, taking an actual shower, that wasn't in a hospital that filled her mind with horrid memories or a tent in the middle of France where the water only ran ice cold. She slowly turned the water on and felt it fall on her tiny body. She told herself she wouldn't cry, but then the tears started falling down her face as she stood with hot water running over her body, a comfort she didn't know she'd miss.

Hazel put the palms of her hands to her eyes, as the quiet cries escaped her lips. She truly didn't think she'd be as human as she was by the time they got back to Mourmelon, but she was standing there, alive.

A shelling had nearly taken her life, and the whisper of death had jumped past her ear, but God had decided it wasn't her time to leave yet.

She believed it was God's will that she had to then save Jem - and she did.

She watched dried blood and dirt, and whatever else that had covered her ODs fall from her body as she stood there letting the warm water run down over her. She used shampoo and conditioner and a bar of soap. She could actually smell the scent of the soap she used.

Being out in Bastogne, had deprived her humanity from her, but now as she stood with a simple bar of soap, she felt slightly more like a human again as she scrubbed at her skin.

When Hazel stepped out and began to change into the fresh ODs and boots, she wasn't sure how to feel. She wasn't wet or cold in any area. She was warm, and her boots were warm, and her fingers were warm and her hair was washed and clean. She felt clean; she had forgotten what that felt like. Hazel gently placed the dog tags and her Star of David over her neck and sighed to herself. An ounce of comfort.

When Hazel saw Catherine and Lizzie, fresh and clean, she smiled. Hazel couldn't help but stand in a hug with them in silence, where the silently thanked God for their lives and getting them here. They didn't need to say a word as they moved towards the mess hall.

Hazel stared at the food as it was placed on her plate before moving over to a table. When she sat down she stared at the food in front of her. Her heart felt heavy staring at it. Catherine eventually sat across from her and Lizzie next to her. The two of them began eating, but Hazel felt almost sick looking at the food and she couldn't understand why.

" You gotta eat, Hazel." Lizzie whispered softly. Hazel looked at her with a sad smile and a nod. Hazel was just so sad, and when she got sad like this, she didn't eat. Hazel slowly picked up her fork and scooped it into the food before placing it in her mouth.

The 3 women ate in silence together, in their own minds, comprehending everything and allowing all that had happened to fully sink into their minds as they relished the safety they now had.

Then a few of the boys started sitting down next to them all and eating as well. It might've been quiet as they all ate together, but they knew they weren't alone, they had each other, sitting there side by side, eating their hot meals in their fresh ODs.

When they got back to barracks that night it was quiet, everyone wanting to get some rest, as the soft glow of the lamps around the barracks slowly clicked off or stayed on. Hazel had turned hers off but she stayed awake staring up at the ceiling of the barrack, waiting for sleep.

Nightmares seemed to swirl right behind her eyes if she closed them and that scared her.

About her father, or about Bill or Joe getting hit, or seeing Buck's lifeless eyes, or Skip and Penkala disappearing.

Or Hoobler's yell.

That broke her.

She couldn't help but feel cold, even in the warm barrack, where she could hear the quiet hum of the heater. Hazel watched as Lizzie went around to each of the boys and talked to them quietly, making sure they were ok before moving on. When Lizzie arrived at Hazel's side, Lizzie crouched down and smiled at Hazel.

" Get some rest tonight, alright?" Lizzie said softly. Hazel nodded with a tiny smile. Lizzie smiled at her and gently squeezed her shoulder, before getting up and moving to Liebgott's bed next to Hazel's. Hazel fell asleep that night blissfully.

When Hazel woke up the next morning, there were a few people moving about and sunlight streaming in through the windows. Hazel slowly sat up, her tired eyes barely cracked open as she looked around. Hazel rubbed her eyes before yawning. She had been so comfortable that waking up had been on the back burner. But it seems everyone was the same way.

Nobody had gotten dressed, while others were away in bed, smoking or reading, or talking to the other person in the bed next to them.

Hazel slowly sat up and yawned again. Her tired eyes carried her over to Joe Liebgott, who sat trying to wake himself up. He was blinking his eyes, and he was yawning, but he managed to still look good. What was it? She had seen him at his best and worse she figured. Hazel innocently looked toward him as he ran a hand through his hair, and looked around with tired eyes. For seem reason, watching Joe kept her emotions at bay, unlike anything before.

_She felt happy??_

Hazel slowly pulled her eyes away and yawned again, rubbing her eyes. She had missed sleeping, sleeping comfortably at least. She had missed it more than she could imagine.

No shellings, no Germans, no nightmares, no battles, no firing of weapons, no patrols. None of it. When Hazel flipped the covers off her legs, she slowly turned to put her legs on the ground. But when she stood, she felt soreness overwhelm her muscles, and her wound give a dull pulse. Hazel gently grasped where the wound was, under her white t-shirt and grimaced.

Hazel slowly grasped the nightstand and stood to her feet, suddenly getting a flashback to when she was almost learning to walk again, to get her feet moving one in front of the other. She shook her head, she had to stop. She had to just tell herself that they were safe, and that was their only security right now.

Their stay at Mourmelon became a relief. They could sleep and eat and shower and talk without German shellings threatening them. It was a major relief, but every so often at night, Hazel's eyes would fly open and she'd think that there was German artillery outside, but it was the sounds in her head. She didn't find herself participating in night time activities with the men and women. She instead went out and looked at the stars instead, to calm her racing mind. She didn't know why she didn't want to play cards with them, or just little games like that, what had happened out in Bastogne had hurt her mentally and emotionally, and she found herself needing to be spend more time alone to just think and comprehend it all.

But she would see their eyes.

Too many different pairs of eyes, whether they were joyous and bright, through a scope, watching the inevitable reality that would soon grasp them, or eyes from her past.

Eyes said more sometimes than what a single word that could drip from the mouth could say.

And it scared her, deep down to her core.

Those eyes would never look into another set of eyes again. Hazel would usually think about them for too long and she tried to work it from her body.

But they had been friends, brothers, she couldn't just act like their deaths or wounds were just another one. They were people she had loved.

February faded into March, and Hazel could begin to see the days warming up with each morning she woke up. Usually she was up early, she hated it, she was having trouble sleeping. She didn't tell anyone, except well the girls and Joe. Usually everyone else was getting ready for bed, but Hazel would lie awake staring at the ceiling hoping that Bastogne was some sort dream she just couldn't comprehend, but it was real.

All that had happened there had been so vividly real and horrific and was clearly lodged into her mind. But Hazel was starting to accept the brutal reality of the fact that those images might haunt her longer than she initially wanted.

Hazel had to get fitted for a new Class A, just like everyone else, but she had lost too much weight while they had been in Bastogne, and it was taking a long time. And plus the women were fitted for skirts as well. When Hazel looked in the mirror, she would see the scared, terrified girl she always saw when she looked into one.

Back in November and December, Hazel had started to see a happier person, a happier version of what she wanted Hazel Parker to be, but since coming back, it's been this pale, sick looking girl, with no life.

That night, she sat beside Joe on his bed, as the men and women chattered together, sharing smokes and playing cards and laughing. But Hazel even on the outside if she was fine, she felt miserable.

It was all starting to hit her, the fact that all the men they had lost whether to death or injury were really gone. Hazel bit her lip as she saw Joe open the letter he had from his mother. Hazel found that just sitting near people, even in silence was comforting enough, because she could feel them still next to her, still there, still alive. Hazel eventually gave up in trying to remain somewhat upbeat and happy, and gently laid her head on Joe's shoulder and let out a small sigh.

" You ok, Tiny?" Joe asked, as he turned over the letter in his hands. She nodded against his shoulder. Joe knew Hazel's little pick-ups by now. She bit her lip when she was worried, she avoided eye contact when something was wrong, or started fiddling with her fingers, she didn't say anything when she was upset, she kept quiet, or when she was annoyed, she narrowed her eyes to the point where it was like there was a spark there. Hazel was quiet. 

" What's bothering you?" Joe asked her.

" I don't even know how to describe it." she said softly.

Joe knew what she meant. She hadn't been sleeping well at all since they've arrived, she wasn't eating much either, and she wasn't really the innocent, upbeat, shy girl the company usually saw. She barely talked at meals. Joe was worried, probably over the top worried, and he had talked to both Catherine and Lizzie about it, numerous times, expressing his worry. He'd seen Hazel laugh once or twice with the girls before resuming her mellow state of mind, or not talking. Joe was overwhelmed with worry, and he assumed Hazel knew because well, he'd been pretty vocal about it in Haguneua. Most nights, Joe just let Hazel be, but tonight, his worry had spiked to a new high.

" Hazel you can talk to me." Joe said softly to her, as she shifted on his shoulder a bit. 

" I know." Hazel whispered. She wanted to tell Joe so bad, but she was afraid he'd become distant or think she was insane. But that was her trust issues talking, even though she trusted Joe whole-heartedly. It made her feel worse, almost sick to her stomach.

" I'm gonna go look at the stars." Hazel sat as she slowly shifted off the blankets on Joe's bed and pulled her boots on with her PT gear she wore for bed, before reaching and pulling on her OD coat. 

" I'll come with you." Joe said as he stood up. Hazel looked at him softly, and nodded. The two walked out before heading towards Hazel's spot, where you could lean back and look up at the stars in silence. But Joe wanted to talk; he needed Hazel to talk or his worry would spill over, and well he usually got angry after that.

" Hazel, please just talk to me, you know everyone's worried about you." Joe told her as he looked at the girl sitting beside him. Hazel sighed, as she ran a hand through her long hair, which had grown greatly since its last cut. 

" I know, I just, I, I know." Hazel stammered, her mind overwhelmed suddenly, as if it were on overdrive. Joe watched Hazel shut her eyes and take a deep breath before sighing again.

" I'm scared to tell you." Hazel whispered, looking up at him with sullen eyes.

Joe felt like it were a punch to the gut. He had always been honest with Hazel and vice versa, I mean they knew each other's favorite colors, how they liked their steak cooked, and where their grandmothers came from, but this hurt Joe. Joe didn't want Hazel scared to tell him a thing. 

Hazel watched Joe's mind turn and tumble and crash a bit in confusion.

For a second, Hazel saw her father, in the darkness, the night before he left, saying how much he loved her.

But the next time Hazel blinked it was only Joe, looking at her with worried eyes.

Hazel's breathing hitched a bit, as she felt herself slowly grow emotional.

 _Stupidly_ emotional.

 _Ridiculously_ emotional.

She hated crying and she never cried in front of people. She didn't trust people with emotions. She looked at Joe with evidently tear filled eyes, and a trembling bottom lip.

" Why are you scared to tell me?" Joe asked her, dead serious. Joe knew about Hazel's trust issues, and he knew it took her a while for her to completely trust someone, and he didn't want her worried that she can't tell him something. It's the worse thing for someone, especially someone like Hazel. But it was why he loved her, for so many more reasons as well.

" I'm afraid you'll walk away too." Hazel whimpered out, as a tear trailed down her cheek. She rushed to wipe it away though. Hazel took a breath and looked away from Joe, as tears slowly fell down her freckled cheeks. Joe felt like his heart had been pulled out and thrown a thousand yards.

Walk away too?

Joe _Liebgott_?

Joe would never walk away from a friend, much less a best friend, even one in need.

" Hazel, look at me." Joe said softly, as he leaned forward a bit, placing a hand on the back of her head. She looked at him with a quivering lip. And Joe watched her eyes, filled with tears, looking so broken, so distraught, so completely and utterly sad.

" You're my best friend," he said, " and I don't walk away from my best friends ever." Hazel watched his eyes, he was telling the truth.

" So if you need to tell me anything, even if it is that you did the worst thing imaginable, I will never walk away, okay?" Joe said to her. Hazel sniffled and nodded as she watched him. Joe watched her blue eyes a moment more. He gave her a small smile, and gently reached forward to wipe the tear that lay on her cheek away. She sniffled. Even crying she looked beautiful, she was still Hazel. 

" Come here." he whispered, and opened up his arms. Hazel slowly shuffled into them, wrapping her arms around his chest. She tried holding back her cries, but the feeling built in her throat, and she couldn't hold it in any longer. She let out a pained cry, that hurt Joe's heart.

Joe gently pressed his hand to the back of her head, as he softly whispered gentle words to her. Hazel had never cried like this, at least in front of Joe. But each cry that escaped Hazel's mouth, caused Joe's stomach to hurt more.

The man who put Hazel into position didn't deserve an ounce of her innocent being.

None of it.

" You smell nice." Hazel whispered softly after her cries had quieted down, as her head remained shoved in Joe's shoulder, as silent tears escaped from her blue eyes. She felt a rumble in Joe's chest. He had laughed.

" Can't say I'm the only one." he answered her and she smiled.

" Thank you, Lieb." Hazel said softly, as she sniffled. 

" I'm your best friend, Hazel, I know when you're upset." Joe said as the two leaned back, and Joe brushed some hair from her eye behind her ear.

" What did you need to tell me?" Joe asked her. Hazel watched his eyes. He deserved to know how she was feeling because it affected him as well.

" It's just, ever since we've been back, I can't seem to comprehend that some of the guys we started with are just gone." Hazel said softly, as she sniffled again, " It's just hard to understand, I guess."

" I know what you mean, Tiny. Those guys, they started with us, they were Toccoa men, I don't think anybody is expected to truly comprehend it all, you know?" Joe said to her. Hazel nodded. 

" It's war," Joe said, and Hazel knew at this point that was all they could say; it was bound to happen.

" War sucks," Hazel whispered. Joe looked over at her.

" More than anything in this world," he whispered softly and Hazel sighed sadly.

Hazel and Joe spent another hour outside that night, looking at the stars that passed by over head before heading back to get some actual sleep.

And Hazel slept.


	21. rumors

" The little things? The little moments? They aren't little."

_\- John Kabat-Zinn_

✰✰✰

_The Military and War Department - Are They Lying To Us?_

_Back in 1939, a war started in Europe, watched over by many neighboring countries until others decided that they might as well join in as well. America opted to say out for the betting of its citizens, its economy, all of it. But when December 7th, 1941 occurred, it all but changed. Men of many various ages were sent to slaughter in this horrific war, fighting heroically against the Germans or the Japs, fighting two different fronts for two completely opposite reasons in the same war. And we're still fighting right?_

_But does anyone remember the rumor that spouted in 1943? Perhaps, this might peak your interest then of covert and secret government operations. The government is with the people and for the people but how can you trust your government when they could be lying to you, keeping a secret from you, a weapon of war? An anonymous sender sent in an article coded and scripted to the New York Times with information on a secret Operation sought out by the government about WOMEN in WAR! Can you believe it? Who would've believed women on the front lines would be an idea in this day an age?_

_Honestly the idea was shot down as it were rather pitiful to even making it to a small section of the newspaper as merely an article to read. It was ridiculous, it was wrong, it was a stupid idea that many people couldn't even think of their government doing. But was that sender correct?_

_New information from families across America have detailed the fact that their sons have written about WOMEN in their company. Using names like Nancy or Lucia in their letters home. And it worried mothers and fathers a like. It was suspected misprints, wrong lettering, that of even a nurse that had visited from a hospital or even towns women. But they talked as if they were on the front lines, fighting and breathing their last breaths amongst front line soldiers. I personally read the letters and all the content within it and was heavily surprised by what the men wrote about with these 'women'. It was odd in the way they were described. As if they were Amazon Warriors in the times of the Romans. Bruit and powerful women with a bite in their tongue as quoted by an anonymous sender, or women who could blow the top off a body without a glance. Who are these women they speak of? Radicals fleshed into the military through espionage and spies of the government? To make sure our boys are fighting? Well our boys are fighting and don't need female spies in on them. We don't need females on the front lines._

_A conspiracy really, one that has floated through America daily, but one that has finally made an appearance in a new light. I was rather fascinated and intrigued, but disowned the idea. Why would the government lie about such things? The United States Government should be ashamed of themselves if an idea like this were to get out and become known. Why would a woman fight a war that is not hers, but her husbands to fight? Utterly ridiculous in more sense than one._

_But is the government lying to us? With everything that has sputtered out of control, I'm beginning to question the intentions of our government and our military even in a war. Who would hide an entire operation lead by women and driven by women. It sounds ridiculous._

_More information on this topic floods out everyday, so much so it might become a fun little treat for us to even fantasize about such an idea. A stupid one._

_Remington Garzoski_

" What a bunch of bullshit!" grumbled Catherine slamming the paper shut as dinner, and scoffing.

" They really think we're spies, out of all things they can't believe for a second that women went to war? Oh just wait until this gets out and the entire world finally knows, I'd like to see every mans reaction that wasn't involved." Catherine said as Hazel shoveled in her meal like it were going out of style.

" Spies my ass, I'd be the worst, I get distracted by the mere thought of existence." Lizzie said.

" Thank you," Catherine said raising her hand in the air.

" All I know is that when the finally release the information on this bullshit, I won't give one crap what a man says to me, I'l wear that medal as if it were my birth right." Catherine said.

" Which it is." Hazel commented, swallowing her chicken.

" Got that right," Catherine said, " I just I hate the way they talk about us, us women, like were a disease. I mean, a woman birthed this asshole into the world, why can't he be appreciative?" 

" Some men just don't think sometimes do they where they come from? Without a mother they wouldn't be alive, essentially." Lizzie said popping a grape into her mouth.

" Okay, someone tell what the fuck this is." a voice said and the group looked up to see George clambering in beside Catherine with the paper in his hands. George looked pissed.

" Ask Remington, George." Lizzie offered and George scoffed.

" This guy can't be serious, he sounds like a child." George said.

" Which he is." Hazel said as she inhaled another cup of water right down her throat. She was never hungrier.

" Which he is," George said, " I mean ' it's her husband's fight, not hers'? Get the fuck outta here, man, I call bull."  
  
  


" Okay, okay," Lip said as he settled in next to Lizzie, " everyone has the paper now in their own hands, so if we just lower our voices."

" Oh c'mon, Lip, you gotta be a bit upset about it all." George said.

" Oh I am, I just know I can't show it to you all," Lip explained, " I still have to lead." 

" He's got a point," Catherine offered, knocking George's shoulder lightly, " we just earned voting rights, I'm not sure when we'll finally earn that equal pay we've been hoping for."

" Yeah, just sucks ya know? You ladies went through all this training, you did so much and now even with the mere idea of a rumor of women in war and it's shut down like the idea of sliced bread." George said. The group watched him in the noisy cafeteria. 

" Let them hate it, hate me, " Catherine said as she sipped her drink, " it's a taste of their own medicine for once. Seeing someone else actually doing something for the war instead of making up stupid rumors about nothing."

" Amen, sister." Lizzie said raising her own cup and taking a sip.   
  
  


Amen was right.

On March 8th, the 506th was set to receive a Presidential Unit Citation for their heroic efforts based in Bastogne and the Battle of the Bulge from General Eisenhower himself. Everyone would be putting on their newly fitted uniforms again for the first time since last year, back when going to Paris had been a thing.

Hazel stepped out of the tiny closet in the corner of the barrack, tying her tie up the best she could with her unbuttoned uniform. She was struggling. Catherine smiled softly to herself before walking over to Hazel and stopping her. Hazel watched Catherine slowly tie the tie for her and then gently give it a soft tug.

" Thanks, Catherine." Hazel whispered, her voice soft. Catherine smiled.

" Of course, Hazel." Catherine said. And Hazel smiled. Catherine squeezed her shoulder before turning to pull on her shoes. The girls were wearing skirts and not pants. The first since Paris for Hazel at least. Hazel adjusted her belt around her waist before grabbing her cap and adjusting it to her head. The group headed out, moving in their platoons as they did so with their weapons on their shoulders, standing proud as members of the 506th.

When they arrived, the other companies were all there in front of the stage that was currently set up in front of the group. CO's were in front of each company, with their 1st Sergeant, as well as their Lieutenants that accompanied them, and platoon leaders. Battalion Commanders and their intelligence officers remained in front of their respected Battalion, and Colonel Sink was near the front, in front of them all. Hazel watched with wide eyes as General Eisenhower walked on stage in front of the 506th, with a smile upon his face, moving towards the microphone with wise eyes.

" Well hello 506th." Eisenhower said, his voice booming over the group of paratroopers that stood in front of him. Hazel felt a smile quirk up at the corner of her lips. 

" Hello, sir." came the response back to the General.

" I am here today, because of all your heroic battles you fought during the Battle of the Bulge as paratroopers and soldiers of the 506th, but also the 101st Airborne. I want you to know that I am proud of each and every one of you, and that I respect each and every man that gave their lives or risked them to ensure we came out on top. Please let us take a moment of silence for those blessed souls." Eisenhower said. Hazel let her eyes shut as she thought about each man Easy lost while they were in Bastogne. She prayed for each one whether they were alive or if they had passed. They had done the ultimate hero's task of risking their very lives for the well being of others. 

" Thank you." Eisenhower said, " Today I will be awarding the Presidential Unit Citation to the 506th Infantry Regiment for their heroic defense of Bastogne in the Battle of the Bulge." Hazel smiled, feeling a bit of spirit in her soul from that simple phrase.

Eisenhower turned as the flag of the 506th was lowered to add the ribbon for the signal of the Presidential Unit Citation. Everyone watched with pride, proudly as their unit was distinguished for this. The rest of the ceremony celebrated many of the leaders of the 506th, like Colonel Sink, and, newly promoted, Major Winters. Many of the other Battalion leaders were recognized and a few COs, Captain Speirs being one of them. It was a way that brightened everyone up and raised morale greatly.

Everyone remained in high spirits after the ceremony and mini parade.

There was a USO dance that night set up for the 506th, as well as members of the Nurses' Corps, American Red Cross, and other units that happened to be stationed there as well. There was music playing that filled the entire room as Hazel walked in beside Lizzie with wide eyes. There was a dance floor, and there were people out there dancing, and there were drinks and laughter and food.

These men hadn't had that since last September at least. Hazel followed Lizzie over to the bar, to receive drinks, Hazel being a few months away from 21 still refused an actual drink. But Lizzie got some wine, and a Coke for Hazel before the two girls hurried over and grabbed places at the nearby table. There was laughter and happiness and the rumor of 48 hour passes which swirled around. People were just happy, and Hazel was glad. Easy had experienced enough sadness in their times in Bastogne and this is what they needed.

Hazel felt better personally, having talked to Joe, and getting that reassurance, and then being able to rest and eat, and talk with everyone without the surprise of gun fire or shellings to attack them. She sat with Shifty for a bit, talking with him before Catherine came over and joined the conversation and the three were laughing at something hilarious. It was just a series of happy things, one after another.

Hazel eventually was roped into a conversation with Lizzie, Shifty and Tab, where arguing ensued amongst Lizzie and Tab, while Shifty sat innocently in the center, watching like a parent who had given up. Lizzie still arguing with Tab about the British common norms. No matter how often they butted heads for the stupidest reasons, they were in chuckles by the end. Just the other night, they had been watching Arsenic and Old Lace, and their two loud mouths had been in the front, bickering quietly waiting for the line that had been arguing about since Bastogne to show up.

The cheer from Lizzie and the pouting form of Tab beside her had been the signal she had won.

Near the end of the night. George was twirling Lizzie, as the two laughed the entire time. Hazel watched with a smile on her face, as Lizzie tripped and then smacked George on the shoulder. The two were hysterically laughing.

Catherine was with Johnny again near the dart board now that they were able to do that again and Babe was watching as he sipped his drink.

Hazel had retreated outside, which was nothing out of the norm for her. Crowded places tended to be too much for her, she hated that it go to her like it did but it was nothing entirely too new.

Hazel gently walked forward, soft music trickling out of where the USO dance was being held, and walked under the spotlight of a light that hung just above her. It was soft light, one that wasn't too powerful, but was still evidently looming over top of her. Hazel gently laced her fingers behind her, relaxed in a gentle stance, brushing against where her shirt tucked into her skirt. Hazel gently began swaying side to side, as if she were in some imaginary dance with someone else.

The soft music that played from the USO dance was enough for her to lightly move her feet, a bit shy, a bit too softly perhaps around to the tune of the music.

For a second, she was a little girl again, hanging on tightly to her father's hands, as they swung around the big room of the church where Sunday parties were normally held. And she was smiling, she was happy, she didn't have a constant dull ache in her heart which signified the reality of the cruel world.

That little girl hadn't experienced reality yet.

" Edelweiss, edelweiss...." Hazel song softly to herself, bringing her arms to gently wrap around her body, a comfort, a mother's comfort she missed. Her mother had a soft voice, when she sang to Hazel, but she could be the loudest in the room. 

" Every morning you greet me..." Hazel sang gently, shutting her eyes and letting the gentle tune, swim through her vocal chords, " small and white, clean and bright, you look happy to meet me..." Hazel gently stopped singing and felt her heart ache. She missed home.

" Thought you'd be out here." she heard a voice say. Joe - _of course_. She wouldn't have expected anyone else. Hazel turned around and saw Joe there, hands shoved in his pockets, his soft hair blowing a bit in the wind and his gaze gentle, that stupid smirk still adorning his lips like always. She smiled shyly suddenly. 

" Yeah, wasn't a fan of the crowd exactly." she said softly, crossing her arms and slowly stepping towards him, " And I figured I'd rather see the stars, you know?" She looked up at him and Joe smirked.

" I figured," he said. She smiled. 

" I saw you dancing," Joe said, " well...swaying." Hazel smiled and slapped his arm lightly.

" I'm just kidding," he said and she smirked shaking her head.

" And singing." he said and Hazel was thankful for the darkness to cover her bright cheeks.

" What song is it?" he asked her.

" My mom used to sing it, back home, just a little tune about a little flower, about Edelweiss, which you told me about." she said and Joe smiled.

" You wanna dance?" he asked her, his tentatively watching and waiting for her answer. With confidence on the rise, and possibly just a bit of wanting to be close to Joe, she smiled.

" Yes," she said. And Joe smiled. The two walked towards the spotlight before turning to face each other. Hazel stared at him, a youthful innocence like the one he saw back in Aldbourne returning to her face.

Joe simply lent his hand forward and Hazel looked up and met his eye. They were so soft, so welcoming, so gentle, so unlike him. Hazel tentatively took his hand and he grasped it gently in his own. Joe then gently placed his hand on her skirted waist, his grip firm, yet comforting. Hazel looked at him, blushing softly, the tops of her cheeks pink under the spotlight.

" Here," Joe said gently and removed his hand from her waist to pull her hand onto his shoulder, which at her height was a stretch. Hazel's eyes slowly met his and he smiled, gently placing his hand on her waist again and pulling her closer to him. Hazel felt herself freeze up and Joe gently smiled.

" It's okay," he said," dancing requires the two people, like this, to be close together." Hazel looked up at him hesitantly and softly nodded.

" Amapola..." Joe sang softly, his voice a raspy little thing, sang softly, as Hazel watched him with playful eyes. 

" My pretty little poppy..." Joe sang and looked at Hazel, who watched him with a small smile as the two gently swayed to more of his own voice than the USO hum.

" You're like that lovely flower, so sweet and heavenly..." Joe sang, " since I found you, my heart is wrapped around you..." Joe sang and then Hazel grinned up at him. 

" You have a nice voice, Joe, it's soulful." she said. Joe smirked.

" An out of tune noise you mean?" Joe said and Hazel just gently slapped his arm.

" You know you appreciate it." she said with a gentle laugh and Joe chuckled.

Her laugh could make the tiniest flowers grow into the biggest blooms.

Hazel gently met his eyes again and Joe felt his heart actually stop. He bit his tongue, he forced himself not to just out and say it. His heart had never had the ache it had in it as he watched her big, blue, innocent eyes watch his with such hope yet grief.

Sure, the girls in high school had done the thing where they became friends with his sisters, just to get to Joe. And that never sat right. Joe loved each of his sisters and for them to be used hurt him. He was loyal, loyal to the people he loved. He was not even really interested in those girls - he never settled, and that was his problem.

But with Hazel, he hated to say it with a war still ragging, but he could've up and there pressed his lips to hers, in the spotlight of the Army bulb, standing so intoxicatingly close together, their grips wrapped around one another like bonds for life.

But he couldn't.

He would hold himself.

Hazel was worth the wait, as long as it would need to be.

But then Joe started to sing as if he were a comedian and Hazel was laughing, almost in hysterics by the time the two looked drunk dancing around each other, on their toes, holding each other close as they laughed. Maybe this war was looking up, maybe an end was in sight.

And closer than they all thought.


	22. germany

" A soft spirit in a hard world."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Hazel stared hard at herself in the mirror and Shifty was beside her staring in the mirror, just as equally stone faced. 

" Are you two just gonna sit there and stare at each other, or let me cut your hair?" Joe asked behind them, a bit annoyed if he were honest. The two snipers, as quiet and humble as they were, were cautious in decision making, careful if you will.

" Still thinking." she said, just knowing it would annoy Joe. She smirked. 

" Just the sides, Joe, a bit," Shifty said as he leaned back, " and the top a bit, but keep it pretty much the same."

" At least someone can make a decision." Joe said and Hazel giggled.

In the past few weeks, Hazel had found herself coming out of the aggravating slump of the post-Bastogne era which had overtaken her life it seemed. She was thankful she noticed the little things in life, for she was beginning to accept happiness again, and the fact that there were moments in life, sad moments, but they didn't dare define her as a person. And the boys were always there for each other and for the women, and it was always a great group that managed to put a smile onto Hazel's face, without fail. She had been hanging around with everyone more, even if that meant not looking to the stars like she had been doing, but she felt that was okay - they'd always be there.

" You couldn't decide between the chocolate or vanilla the other day, Joe," she said and she heard Joe scoff as he began work on Shifty's hair cut. 

" Did not, it was easy, chocolate over vanilla any day." Joe said as a snip from his scissors occurred. Hazel smirked.

" Not what happened," Hazel said softly and Joe smirked. 

" Why? Care to let Shifty bare witness to this?" Joe said.

" Please just don't take out an eye." Shifty pleaded to Joe. 

" Well in Swindon-" Hazel started.

" I brought out one of those Hershey chocolate bars-" Joe continued as Hazel glared.

" And he offered me the rest-"

" Which further my point in that chocolate is the better option over vanilla-"

" And that you most definitely did not say chocolate yesterday at the counter." Hazel scoffed as Joe chuckled. 

" Did too." Joe said back to her.

" You want to duke it out after? I'd prefer to not have a botched haircut by tomorrow." Shifty said as the trio broke into chuckles.

" Don't worry, Shift," Joe said before looking at Hazel who sat in her chair, " may the most convincing win."

Hazel took it as a challenge.

So throughout the week, she did what she could too convince him the reason he got vanilla ice cream that day was because he really had just liked the vanilla better and not the chocolate the Army provided, while Joe blabbered that he had misspoke.

A childish act between the two, but something to laugh about later on.

Ronald Speirs was well, being Ronald Speirs - _enough said_.

Him and Hazel individually were scary when activated in their own ways, but together, rather dangerous.

Many just thought that Speirs was excited that she was in fact a sniper and was fantastic at her position. _True_. An odd pair to be frank, but a good one.

Through PT training, Speirs treated Hazel like she was a fragile baby bunny, making sure she was always remembered, always kept up to date on thing, and well of course gotten a well-deserved promotion to Sergeant.

Speirs had said to her that the promotion should've been given to her back in the times of The Island at least, during their month with Dike, but Speirs just said that Dike was too incompetent

Winters had easily approved the promotion.

And boy would it take time to get used to.

Hazel had sewed on the chevrons, the three stacked on top of one another, beside Talbert, who was resewing his own just so Hazel could follow. And by the end, she felt she could sow on each and every man in the 101st's patches. Hazel gently held up her ODs and stared at it.

A Sergeant??

She would've never believed she would move up from the spot. But Speirs had been adamant and Speirs was intensely observant. He just knew things. He was fascinating.

Lizzie had a backlog of letters from her family, mostly about her grandmother's dwindling health. Lizzie read through all her letters and then had stood up and left the tent, ignoring even Tab's call for her as she left. But it was hard on her. Lizzie adored her grandmother more than anything and being here while she suffered in Grand Rapids was a hard toll to really take on, more than anything.

So, Lizzie did what she could, and sat and thought, her leg bouncing, attempting to read a book and then reading the same page over too many times without understanding a single bit and finally slamming the book shut, before walking in the same distinct pattern, her thoughts a mumbled mess. She was anxious, her mind a reck, and she resorted to the idea of distancing herself even more from others as she dealt with it all. She blamed it on her mental health, her inability to stay focused or too focus in so much that she remained hyper and coffee would settle her down.

It was overwhelming.

So Hazel spent breakfast with Lizzie, instead of sitting with a group of guys, talking to her about anything really and by the end of the meal, she could see the color back on Lizzie's face. But it was worry that caused that. Worry was normal. It was okay that she worried, it was human nature. Hazel read her mother's letter as if it were a drug, missing just her mother's gentle eyes which never failed to make Hazel feel better.

_Dear Hazel,_

_I hope this letter finds you well! I am so glad honey, that you are okay. Your letter gave me quite the scare and honestly, I did cry for about a week after I received your letter. Your my daughter and having you hurt on the opposite side of the world is something a mother does not want to hear. But knowing you are okay, it makes my heart warm and I'm glad to know you are okay and that you were in good hands. Remember I love you honey._

_It's March now, and I've been trying to get a letter sent in for months, but now that I know you've finally been relieved you can expect a few more letters coming your way. The weather is so nice now. You wake up in the morning, the suns already up, Daisy's lying out on the rug your grandmother made, sun on her golden fur, and the house smells fresh, because you know me, I leave those windows open for that fresh mountain air. I find myself drinking a lot more coffee now that you've been gone for so long. I'm still used to making the same amount for whenever you are around, but since you haven't been here I've just taken the extra cup at this point. The sunrises have just gotten even more beautiful on the days I wake up early to work on the garden all day, which has some beautiful blooms._

_I'm hoping this war can end soon and that you can come home, I miss having you here. It's just not the same, even though Daisy makes up for a majority of it. I just want to be able to hug my daughter again. The Americans are doing what they can back here at home. Everyone in the town always prays on Sundays for a while, for every man sent away. I pray for you, my daughter, caught up in all of this; they may not know, but I do as your mother and that's all that matters. And I believe in you, remember that. I'm always your number one supporter._

_How are Catherine and Lizzie holding up? I pray for them at night after I pray for you. They seem like such wonderful women that are involved in the company with you and I hope after this we can all come together for dinner at home and not have to worry about the war._

_This boy you're talking about - Joe Liebgott. Honey, it's called love. By the time you receive this you might've already figured that out, but you love him. You love this boy, just by the way you write about him. My advice to you is, wait. If he's worth the wait, until cliche enough, that perfect moment, you'll wait for him. And he'll wait for you too. Love is a beautiful concept and love is passionate, and shy at times, but love is always there. And if you love him, sometimes without having to say it, you can show it, until the time is right, and until you feel like telling him. If you truly love him, you could wait years for him. Love sometimes never fades._

_I'm sure you've heard, but Americans are engaged in the Pacific on a tiny Island called Iwo Jima, battling the Japanese. It's been raging for a while by now, almost a month, but the papers are saying that it is shaping up for hopefully an American victory, putting us one step closer to winning the war in the Pacific. It feels so close, like when victory is on the tip of your tongue, but still so far. But I know you're all fighting your hardest to come out victorious on top. And for me, and the folks back home that's all that matters._

_I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you again, love._

_Love,_

_your mother, Lena_

Hazel smiled, before flipping the letter over and finding a picture tapped to the back. One of her mother and Daisy, a recent photo. Hazel smiled wide at it, holding the picture in her hands. Her mom looked beautiful, even if her daughter was across the world, she didn't show fear in the picture.

Standing with that signature smile on her face, her dirty blonde hair pulled back with a headscarf that her grandmother always made for them. Daisy had a little bandana around her neck, something her mother had always put on her family dogs as a kid growing up in Kentucky on a large horse farm. 

Hazel missed her mother a lot, but a letter like this was motivating, especially right now, when she wished this was the end of the war. She knew she could make it though, her mother even said so. Her mothers advice on love was the comfort she needed. Hazel could wait ages for Joe, years, decades, Hazel could wait for forever for him.

In late March, when men started to get weekend passes to different towns and cities and ports in France, Hazel had an unsuspecting visitor. Sergeant Coleman came walking through the gates of Mourmelon-le-Grande, a wide smile on his face. Hazel had been in the dining hall sitting with Malarkey, as the two were laughing quietly over a picture back from their time in Aldbourne.

" Hazel!" she heard a voice call and Hazel glanced over her shoulder and her eyes widened.

" Sergeant Coleman?" she called, her eyes shining. Robert smiled. Hazel shot up from her spot by Malarkey and went racing over towards the man, and softly wrapped him in a warm hug. Sergeant Coleman laughed lightly in her ear as she hugged him tightly. When Hazel pulled back she looked up at him.

" I didn't expect to see you here," Hazel said looking around.

" I figured, but Sink requested I show up, I have the newest M19034A model sitting in my office." Sergeant Coleman said and her eyes widened.

" It'll be the last addition, and with the way the war's going, you might be needing it for the Pacific at the current rate, so they've created the best possible version they could and wanted me to practice with you." Sergeant Coleman explained. Hazel grinned. 

" What have you been doing since we left?" she asked him.

" I've been working a bit with an uncredited Special Ops Force that was working throughout the Alps in the winter, collecting intel from spies that worked within the OSS. We stayed in huts along the Alps, and managed to get whatever information we could get back to the Department of Defense." Sergeant Coleman explained and Hazel grinned. 

" That must've been exciting, doing it all." Hazel said and Sergeant Coleman smiled.

" You could say so, except the bitter cold of the Alps was not enjoyable." Sergeant Coleman said and Hazel felt her smile fall.

" Yeah, Bastogne wasn't that enjoyable either." Hazel said and Sergeant Coleman nodded softly.

" You wanna head out, get some practice? I have to move out within the week towards the Mediterranean near Greece, supposedly they have some more info and intel we need to collect." Sergeant Coleman explained. 

" Definitely, definitely, let me just grab my things, and tell Don." Hazel said and Sergeant Coleman nodded with a smile. Hazel turned and walked back over to Don with a small smile.

" I have to start some practice again, do you mind?" Hazel asked.

" No, no of course, go," Don said with a smile as he sipped his coffee and Hazel grinned.

" Thanks Don," she said and pulled her coffee into her hands before giving him a gentle wave and following after Sergeant Coleman. 

" So, how have you been?" Sergeant Coleman asked her and Hazel smiled sadly.

" Okay, I guess, best I can be at the moment," she said and Robert smiled. 

" Yeah, couldn't agree more." he said and Hazel smiled softly. They arrived at his office and Hazel immediately noticed the weapon on the desk.

" The power's been jacked up highly and the knock backs are more controlled than ever. Bolt action is quick, quicker reaction time, and the shots are even more accurate than what you've been using." Robert explained and Hazel gently picked up the weapon in her hands.

" Wow." she said, weighing the weapon in her hands and admiring it," This is amazing."

" Let's hope it's the final design decision that's made." Robert said and Hazel smiled as she brought up the weapon and aimed it. It seemed clearer and even a bit lighter than her normal one which she had dragged through Bastogne.

" I like it." she said.

" Good, good, I hope it works well," Robert said. They fell into a routine that was just like it had been back in Aldbourne, working with the weapon, taking practice shots together, as Robert gave her tips and ideas to use that would hopefully help her in the future, say if they ever had to end up facing the Japanese. Shifty even joined them near the end and both Robert and Shifty got along well. It was a nice relief, all of it.

It was enjoyable for once and she didn't even bother thinking about the horrors that had swirled through Bastogne and her mind.

In early April, when the weather was getting warmer and there was hope that the war was ending soon, Easy got word delivered that they were heading into Germany to a town of Sturzelburg. They had to pack all their things, before moving out to the fairytale town in Germany.

Crossing over the German border was bittersweet.

For years, they had been awaiting this moment and now they finally had reached it and it was odd. Half the men they started with, weren't finishing with them and seeing this glorious moment.

It was truly bittersweet.

But the German town, Hazel felt, was beautiful.

It was stunning, set near the Rhein river, and for a moment when Easy had moved out of France, there was no shooting at them, no bombs being dropped on them, and no risk of freezing cold weather. For a moment there was peace even in the little German town.

Catherine walked around the town searching for the man named Richard Winters.

The supply briefings had nearly just wracked her entire brain, as in, she couldn't wait until she got another cup of coffee in her hands. Nixon had been sent out to jump into Germany with the 17th. He was supposed to show back up today.

But with exhaustion settling into her bones, she decided coffee was a better choice and steered herself towards the place where she just knew every bit of coffee you could ever imagine would be. Catherine stepped up into the room, her leather jacket, a size to big she had to admit, hefty on her shoulders as she seemed to zero in on the coffee port in front of her eyes.

" You truly do love me, God." she whispered, as she poured herself a cup of coffee, the liquid pouring into the wonderfully warm coffee mug waiting to reach her lips.

" As if my life couldn't get any better," she said as she poured a bit of creamer in it. She'd gotten out of the habit of straight black coffee, a bit of creamer wouldn't hurt.

Then something caught her eye and she glanced up to see Richard Winters making his morning appearance looking put together as usual, a crisp it seemed in his hand, or whatever the British seemed to call it.

" Hey, there's the man of the hour." she said a smile on her face as she turned and leaned against the counter, taking in a wonderfully long sip of coffee that seemed to already energize her body. 

" Hey, Cath," he said and looked around, " I expected to find you here."

" You know me too well," Catherine said taking another gleeful sip down with a sigh. Dick chuckled by her side as he came to lean beside her against the counter, arms crossing over his chest as he finished the food in his hand. 

" What's up?" she asked.

" I heard Nix's back and I knew you'd want to see him." Dick said looking towards her and she raised a questioning brow. 

" Already?"

" Yep," Dick said nodding, " wanna head over?"

" Yeah, yeah, let's hope he's not drowning in Vat69 just yet." she said and the two chuckled, as they moved out of the coffee room.

" You think we're finally starting to see the end of this war, the end of all of it?" she asked Dick as the two walked through the brightly lit streets of the German town, citizens everywhere, bustling each and every way, disgruntled looks upon their features. 

" I hope, Cath, I really do." Dick said as Catherine sighed, taking another generous sip of the drink that sat in her palms. She wished it would be over.

Bastogne had been horribly draining.

No one deserved to go through what Bastogne had offered again. Catherine was still recovering in a sense and was using the addiction to coffee with creamer, cigarettes, and humor to simply cover it up. It wasn't going as well as she had thought it would, but hey she was still here. Bill had been one of her best friends and to see him like that and then to turn and see Joe Toye almost the exact same way. She couldn't bare to try and remember the painted expressions across their faces. They were men of the company who did nearly everything they could simply for the company. It hurt knowing how they had gone out.

" Catherine." a voice said and Catherine glanced towards the source to see Dick looking at her. 

" Huh?" she asked.

" You okay?" Dick asked her. Catherine froze for a moment and nodded.

" Fine," she said," sorry, uh, dazed out."

Dick watched the Lieutenant by his side softly as she sipped her drink yet again and then continued staring glumly in front of her. Dick Winters knew Catherine, they'd become close friends from leadership together and her work at Battalion, just like Nixon was impressive.

Dick knew Catherine was still hurting from the events of Bastogne - they all were, but Catherine had been a part of the company and had been kept away from them for duty. Knowing she hadn't been around many of them much in their final moments must've had a horrible last ache inside her body that Dick hoped wouldn't continue to bother her in the future.

" Hey, it's okay." Dick said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Dick knew of Catherine's troubles.

She'd been close with Bill, Joe, Buck, Skip and Penkala.

Each one of them she had a special friendship with, he knew Catherine was hurting. Catherine gave a small smile up towards him and let out a shaky sigh.

" It hurts." Catherine said, her voice quiet even with all the bustling people around them as they walked through the streets.

Catherine nodded, feeling her throat tighten.

Dick gently squeezed her shoulder as they continued walking.

He understood.

He always did. 


	23. enough

" You are enough. A thousand times enough."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

When they arrived at the building, Dick opened the door as Catherine stepped inside before the two headed upstairs. The building was old and rustic, and smelled of oddly wet wood. Not the most pleasant smell. The two arrived at door, and Dick knocked.

" Nix?" he asked. There was no answer. Catherine glanced at Dick.

" Nix?" Dick tried again. 

" In here." came the, rather exhausted sounding call. Dick pushed open the door as the two walked inside, heading towards the bedroom of the space Nixon had. Catherine saw Nixon walk by, through the doorway, before disappearing again, moving his suspenders off. Catherine raised a brow, as Dick picked up some bread from the complimentary food tray. Catherine walked in and sat against the trunk as Dick entered.

" Dog? Making combat jumps with the 17th?" Dick asked, " while I'm in supply briefings all morning." Nixon continued pulling off his boots, and webbing as Dick leaned up against the post of the bed. 

" Yeah, lucky me." Nixon said, which caused Catherine to raise a brow, confused. He got to jump in with the 17th, another star on his uniform. Who would be upset about that?

" Well, congratulations. You're probably the only man in the 101st with three combat stars over his jump wings." Dick said, turning to walk out the door. 

" Not bad for someone who's never fired his weapon in combat, huh?" Nixon called.

" Really?" Dick asked, " Really, you've never...?"

" No." came Nixon's quick response.

" Oh, not even with all the action we've seen?" Dick asked again.

" Not a round." Nixon said after throwing his boots to the side. Then Nixon stood, as Catherine met Dick's eyes. Dick slowly sat down beside her, as Nixon moved over towards a mirror with a few buckets around it, the quiet hum of some music playing in the background.

" So, uh," Dick started, as Nixon poured himself a drink, and Catherine turned off the radio behind them," how'd it go, this morning, the jump?" Nixon finally looked over and noticed Catherine sitting beside Dick, a small smile on her face. Nixon's far off look turned it to a frown.

" It was great, fantastic." Nixon said, before turning and moving towards the window, his voice devoid of all enthusiasm and instead replaced with a hollow, sarcastic sadness. 

" We took a direct hit over the drop zone. I got out, two others got out." Nixon said, sipping his drink. Catherine bit her lip, and looked down to her interlaced fingers.

" The rest of the boys?" Winters asked. 

" Well, they blew up over Germany somewhere." Nixon said turning to the two of them, " Boom." Catherine's heart stopped for a painful moment it felt as she grimaced. Dick nodded.

" Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry." Dick said. 

" About what?" Nixon asked, and Catherine glanced to him.

" Well, tough situation for the--"

" Oh, yeah, the boys, yeah. It's terrible. Oh, well, wasn't me." Nixon said before finishing the cup of Vat 69 he had. Catherine bit her lip and looked away. Dick was quiet next to Catherine.

" There was a woman on that stick," Nixon said looking to Catherine who glanced at him, with already sad eyes, " she was a Lieutenant just like you, told me her name was Dorothy Freeman. She was dead before I jumped out." Catherine looked away.

 _Dorothy_.

Dorothy Freeman.

The woman who trained with them - Catherine could remember her face exactly.

She was dead now.

A Virago member, a proud one.

Her heart ached. Dick watched Nixon.

" You know, the real tragedy is they also lost their CO, so," Nixon stopped when the Vat 69 bottle was empty, " guess who gets to write all the letters home?" Nixon started walking and threw the empty bottle into a bin.

" Goddamn nightmare." he muttered as he left the room quickly. Once the bottle hit the bin, Catherine jumped a bit. She let out a quiet sigh and then glanced at Dick slowly. Dick sighed. The Major and the Lieutenant stood and walked into the other room where Nixon was preparing for another drink.

" Got a visit from Colonel Sink this morning." Dick started. 

" Mm?" Nixon asked as he poured himself another drink.

" And how is the good Colonel?" Nixon asked as he sat back in a chair at the fancy table. Catherine sighed; she didn't expect to find Nixon the way he was, and she supposed that neither had Dick. 

" Concerned." came Dick's rather quick, honest response. Catherine slowly leaned against the chair as Dick paced a bit and walked towards her.

" Still drinking nothing but the Vat 69, huh?" Dick said.

" Only the finest for Mrs. Nixon's baby boy." he said sarcastically as he raised his cup in the air. Catherine smiled sadly.

" That a problem up at Regiment?" Dick asked him. 

" What, this?" Nixon asked, showing the cup, not seeming entirely all concerned.

" Is that what he said?" Catherine watched Dick look down.

" No, I just don't like it up there." Nixon said.

" Good, so you'll be happy to hear that Sink is transferring you back down to Battalion S-3." Dick said. That was it. The news that Catherine expected a bit of a reaction from Nixon. But Nixon stared off, his mind seeming to barely register what Dick had ultimately just said. Her heart broke.

" What do you think I should write to these parents, Dick?" Nixon said. Catherine let out a shaky breath.

" Hear what I said, Nix? You've been demoted." Dick told him again. 

" Yeah, demoted, got you. 'Cause I don't know how to tell them, their kids never even made it out of the goddamn plane." Nixon said, as Catherine looked down, her heart hammering inside her chest.

" You tell 'em what you always tell 'em, their sons and daughters died as heroes." Dick said.

" You really still believe that?" Nixon asked him. The two stared at each other.

" Yeah." Dick said, " Yeah, I do." 

" Don't you?" Dick asked him. Nixon merely smirked with a breathy laugh from his nose. Nixon then looked away and sipped his drink slowly.

" Why are you here?" he asked Catherine who was leaning up against the chair. Catherine could tell his words had slurred for just a moment and that maybe he wasn't entirely focused. 

" I wanted to see how the jump went for you." Catherine said quietly, with a small smile. Nixon stared at her.

" I missed you back with those maps, there's-"

" Well, you heard." Nixon said, and raised his glass. Catherine's mouth shut, as her eyes saddened slightly.

" Nix." Dick said, but Nixon looked at him. The two stared at each other. It was like a silent conversation, as Catherine's heart pounded inside her chest, staring at someone who most definitely wasn't the normal Nixon, or was maybe just him on the inside.

" You have a Current Events lecture to give." Dick told him, " Speirs has the clipboard in his office."

" What, this my job as the new S-3?" Nixon asked with a smirk. Dick stared at him, before nodding. Catherine gulped before Dick slowly moved backwards before turning and taking Catherine's arm to guide her out. 

" What if that was me in that female Lieutenant's position?" Catherine asked turning to him. Nixon stared at her.

" What would you say then?" she asked him, her cold eyes staring at him, " Think on that." Then Catherine turned and walked out, leaving Dick behind. Dick nodded to Nixon before turning and following Catherine out. Catherine waited outside against the wall for Dick, her arms crossed as she did so. When Dick got outside he looked both ways for the girl before spotting her leaned against the wall. 

" What was that?" Dick asked her.

" I gave him something to write about." Catherine told him, with sullen eyes, " If he can't write for strangers, he can write for me."

" You're not dead though," Dick told her. Catherine looked up at him.

" I know." she said. Dick watched her. Her eyes seemed lifeless almost. Catherine then looked towards the Captain.

" I have to go." she said and then brushed past him, anger rolling from her body. Dick watched her go, biting back his lip as he did so.

" You know, Gene," Lizzie said as she put a bobby pin into her braid crown, where she sat criss cross in front of the mirror on the counter, " these are some of the best bobby pins I've ever used." Gene was sitting next to her smoking a cigarette beside her, and swinging his feet off the counter. 

" Lucky find." Gene said with a smirk her way as he blew out some smoke. Lizzie leaned back from her masterpiece and adjusted a few pieces of hair from her eyes.

" Still got the magic touch." Lizzie said, proud of herself. 

" It looks nice." Gene said as he blew out another trail of smoke.

" My mom always did these for me as a kid. I loved them, thought I was Snow White." Lizzie said. Gene smiled at her. Lizzie glanced at the cigarette in his hand.

" All my time in war and I've never tried one." Lizzie said scrunching up her nose as she stared at the thing in his hand.

" I wouldn't if I were you." Gene said told her. Lizzie raised a brow at him.

" I'm a tough girl." she said, reaching out her hand.

" A tough girl who'll get lung disease if she tries it." Gene said pulling back.

" Then why are you smoking it?" Lizzie asked leaning forward with a smirk.

" It weeds off the stress." Gene told her, pushing it to his mouth again, but Lizzie quickly grabbing it from his hand and placed it on her lip. One puff and she was done, coughing and hacking on the smoke. She hated it.

" Told you. You're too pure for that." Gene told her and Lizzie glared at him.

" Not my issue that I have a trashy immune system." Lizzie said and Gene looked over at her.

" Really?"

" Yep, no wonder that flu lasted like it did." Lizzie said, before jumping off the counter and to her feet. Gene sighed, before finishing the smoke.

" You wanna head over to the Current Event lecture?" Lizzie asked him, as Gene moved off the counter. Gene smirked at her.

" Yeah right." Gene told her as he picked up a box of bandages. Lizzie pouted.

" C'mon Gene," Lizzie said, " we can snicker quietly in the back as I attempt to make you laugh."

" I'm not gonna listen to Nixon drone on, when I can listen to silence instead." Gene told her.

" You make a good point, good sir." Lizzie said, holding out her hand for a shake.

" I'm glad I do, mademoiselle, I always do." Gene said shaking it with a slight smirk.

" Shut up." she muttered, " I'll just bring the news back to you."

" Thanks, I'll pack the rest of this up." Gene told her as she backed up with a mock salute his way, before turning and dashing out.

It was her and Gene's thing over the past month, to do weird little thing like they were old Englishmen in London grabbing tea, or they were commanders to each other, giving little salutes every so often.

It made them laugh.

Lizzie jogged towards the center square where Current Events were normally held. When she arrived Nixon had yet to even show up, and there were still people getting seats and chatting. As Lizzie approached she saw Hazel and Joe side by side passing a chocolate bar back and forth between them. Then George spotted her.

" Marlene!" George called as she rolled her eyes. George had started calling her Marlene Dietrich, but she had playfully punched his shoulder to annoy him. 

" Shut up." Lizzie called to him as she sat down beside Johnny and Hazel, a smirk on her face as George turned back in his chair to continue in the card game that was being played. He smirked. She flipped him off. Then Nixon appeared and he stood in front of the group, looking rather exhausted, slightly drunk, slightly worn down, eyes squinted with a clipboard in hand.

" The co-operative for American Remittance to Europe, or care, has begun assembling food packages stateside to assist those European families in dire need. Which is presumably all of them." Nixon started, just then as Chuck and Catherine showed up, looking slightly warn and exhausted as well. Hazel watched Catherine sit down beside Chuck before he passed her a cigarette which she took gladly.

" So, uh, notes home to your family reminding them to donate whatever they can, it would be much appreciated." Nixon said.

" I'm sure that you'll be happy to know Oklahoma's still playing on Broadway." Nixon said.

" Ehhhh!" George called, as cheers swept the group.

" _Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain_ ," George started as others began singing with him, and Nixon sarcastically conducted, " _and the waving wheat can sure smell sweat, when the wind comes-_ " George cut them all off, as O'Keefe, one of the newest replacements kept singing.

" _Right behind the rain!_ " he sang with a rather interesting voice. Laughs echoed around the group as Hazel looked at him with a small, sympathetic smile.

" O'Keefe, were you sitting on your bayonet there?" Christenson asked him. George was having a field day as he cackled. 

" Why don't you leave the singing to Luz?" Christenson offered, as Hazel giggled.

" Hey, unless you wanna do like, Surrey with the Fringe on Top, O'Keefe." George offered, but Nixon's voice powered over them.

" Ahhh, Rita Hayworth's getting married." Nixon said as the men groaned.

" That's so cute." Hazel whispered as she looked at Lizzie who squealed beside her.

" I wonder what her dress will look like." Lizzie said back.

" Whatever she picks out will be beautiful." Hazel sighed dreamily.

" Oh, Rita, say is isn't true," George called as the men groaned.

" Abbot and Costello..." Nixon trailed off, " Wartime News. Resistance in the Rhur Pocket's crumbling. It looks like there might be a breakout in Remagen." There were a few acknowledgments of cheers after that.

" Apparently the Krauts forgot to blow up on of their bridges when they headed back over the line. I guess the boys in the 17th Airborne did okay after all." Nixon said as he looked up towards the group.

" Ah, forget it, we'd be in Berlin by now, sir, if it was us instead of them, huh?" George called, as whoops and cheers exploded through Easy.

" That's right!" George called proudly. Nixon droned on for the rest of the time before he moved away and headed back to what seemed to be Battalion. Hazel looked towards Catherine who sat, beside Chuck, talking to him angrily about something. Hazel bit her lip as she watched her.

" Want the rest?" Liebgott asked her, holding the bar of unfinished chocolate in front of her.

" You can take it." she said, as she pulled her feet off the table from next to Joe's.

" Nah, come on you can have it." he said. Hazel smiled and took it before finishing it off. 

" Catherine ok?" he asked Hazel. Hazel glanced towards Catherine again, she was using hand motions to talk, you knew she was angry when she did that.

" I'm going to talk to her later, let her cool off. Her and Chuck walked in a bit late though." Hazel said with a shrug. She looked back towards Catherine, worry filling her system.

Later that day, news broke that President Roosevelt had died. 

Roosevelt was the President who had really gotten America out of the Depression and gotten the economy running again and now he was dead.

That night, as Hazel lie awake, she stared out the window of the building her and 2nd platoon were currently bunked in. It was raining, there were no stars to look at, except for the gentle drum of rain down on top of the building. The rain was peaceful in many ways; it sounded like it did back home. She was surprised that she even remembered what it sounded like. Hazel slowly grabbed her dog tags and looked at them in the darkness.

Had it all been worth it?

To come out here and fight the enemy?

Had all of it been worth the pain and memories that overwhelmed her?

She would probably never know.

Hazel eventually decided to fall asleep to the gentle snoring that filled the room, it was the only thing that helped her sleep anymore. Because she knew she wasn't alone.

Catherine sat alone in her office, staring coldly at the bit of wood on the desk, her eyes narrowed on the spot, like the hot head she currently was, aggravated and frustrated.

" Knock, knock," a voice said and Catherine sighed. 

" Who is it?" she asked softly.

" The one and only," the voice answered back and Catherine sighed. 

" Come in," she called and just noticed Luz's figure slowly entering the office.

" Hey," she said quietly, and picked at the piece of wood on the table, the pile of reports she had to do lying in a messy pile. 

" You doing okay?" George asked her. Catherine let out another soft sigh and then glanced up towards him.

" I'll be okay," she said softly with a nod and a small smile, " what's up? Bull start taunting Perco's height again?" George watched her. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. Sarcasm. She was hurting. 

" I was gonna ask if you wanted to go grab a drink, but I figure I better stay here instead," he said watching her.

" No, George, please, it's fine," Catherine said, " I'm fine." Catherine didn't know how many times in her life she said she were fine, even just sitting at the dinner table at home, watching the clock tick by as her older sister talked about her new boy toy. Her mind had remained filled with the 100 she got on her physics test. She didn't get a single word in. 

" I said you can go grab some coffee, George, I'm okay." Catherine said, avoiding his eyes that were burning through her skull.

George, well, he knew Catherine wasn't alright, she hadn't been okay for a while and after seeing her break like she did after Bill and Joe and Buck being pulled and the two broke down together, he felt bonded to her, stronger than he had before. George didn't cry in front of others, but he had cried in front of Catherine. Catherine knew his vulnerability, the only other people who had seen that vulnerability were his family.

" No," George answered and slowly pulled a chair across from her desk up and leaned against the table, hands interlaced. Catherine looked up at him and met his soft, brown eyes and she watched them through his long, dark eyelashes. Catherine stared tight-lipped. 

" I have a full novel of things that are wrong in my brain, George," she said, voice short, " I just wish I could sort it out."

" First it was the family," Catherine said quietly, picking at a spot of wood on her desk, " then maybe it was high school, then college after that. And all those mini bonus chapters that no one bothers to read." Catherine shook her head. George watched her. 

" I'll take a read." George said, before sitting back and meeting her equally tense gaze. He wasn't playing around. The girls were the only other ones that knew about her parents, her past, all of it.

" Chapter 5 my birth," Catherine said, " since Day one I heard about how I had to grow up to be like Matilda McCown, my big sister who already at a peak young age seems to have her life figured out." Catherine shook her head.

" Don't get me wrong, George, I love my siblings, but when you're the only one that's different and it is a constant reminder throughout the day, it builds up." Catherine said and sighed, " It was always Matilda this, Matilda that. She's got her first boyfriend in 6th grade, she's had her first kiss by the end of 6th, she's going on dates with the third guy she's swooned over, they're going strong through high school, she goes to the parties, the football games, every sports event, she wins Homecoming Queen, she's in the top 3 for Prom Queen, she gets straight A's without having to work hard, and she didn't even work her job through high school. And by college she was this angel it seemed, moving away to a big name college, just to end up partying the entire time and meeting her future husband. She comes home, tells us she's getting married and then they have a kid. And I love them. I do. But all my life it was like I was expected to live up to this." Catherine glanced at George who watched her.

" It was never Catherine this, Catherine that. No. Sure, I had friends, I had people who followed me, ya know, leadership material, but I wasn't like Matilda. I wasn't someone who used looks for everything in life. I used my hard work, my intelligence, my knowledge and when I told people things like that, they stared as if I was a monster. They thought I was cheating all the time, thought I was sleeping around to get as good as I did. But I didn't go out to parties, I figured why waste time when I can start working instead?" Catherine said, " And a smart woman? They chewed it up like it were candy." Catherine sat back and shook her head. 

" Matilda has a husband, a child and another one the way, and she's got this beautiful house. Beautiful, absolutely stunning. And she's a stay-at-home mom as her husband makes it big in the city. And she always is so pristine, never seems to have a single issue in her life, always acting like things are okay. She was spoiled and I watched it happen." Catherine said.

" I'm almost 25 and I'm not married, with no child, no house, nothing. Things my parents would've expected by now from me." Catherine said. George continued to watch her. 

" It sucks," she said, shrugging a bit to herself, " but what else can you do except get used to it? 24 years of my life." George could see the tears in Catherine's eyes that were begging to fall.

" I was never enough." Catherine whispered shaking her head, " My parents always said they loved me, but compared to Matilda, I was nothing."

" Of course, that's my dad speaking," Catherine said and sighed," Mom was the best. She's a mom, what can I say, they always care for their children. But my dad, he always asked the questions, always said how great Matilda was. All of it." Catherine slowly stood and walked over weakly to the light switch on the doorway.

" He would think Matilda flipped it more graceful than I did," Catherine said meeting George's eyes. She then turned and walked towards the filing cabinet.

" Even if mine was in order, alphabetically, with pristine labels, she'd still do it better." Catherine said and slammed the filing cabinet shut. Catherine sighed.

" This entire war, I've tried my hardest not to let anyone down, but at the moment, it feels like that's the only thing I'm good at doing." Catherine said quietly. George slowly looked up at her. She let out a sigh and looked away. George slowly stood up, adjusting the flaps of his coat and approached Catherine. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, before turning her to face him, as she looked up towards him. She watched him with sad eyes. 

" You haven't let anyone down," George said, watching her eyes.

" It feels like it though," Catherine whispered. George watched her softly. 

" I know the feeling," George said as Catherine let out a shaky sigh.

" Does it go away?" she asked him.

" Eventually," he said, " but for a while it stays there; it's not fun." Catherine bit back her lip and then nodded softly. He was right.

" Thanks, George." she said softly and George smiled gently towards her. 

" I would never compare you to anyone else, Cath, you're you." George said and Catherine actually felt a smile fan across her face. And the look in his eyes signified he meant it.


	24. gory gory

" She wasn't sad anymore, she was numb, and numb, she knew, was somehow worse."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

The next morning, the air was fresh, the sky was bright and then sun was out, and then there was Easy who was slowly getting ready to move out.

Hazel walked into the APO where she could send off the letter she'd written to her mother that morning. Her hair was in two braids, it kept it off her skin in the heat of the day that was quickly approaching with each minute, and she wore her OD set, the front unzipped, as if she were a merry child. When Hazel stepped inside, Vest was inside cleaning up the rest of the packages and boxes that he had inside.

" Hey, Vest." Hazel called as she walked inside with a small smile. Vest turned from where he stood with some letters.

" Hey, Hazel, you gotta letter?" he asked her. She was frequently visiting APO even back in Mourmelon to send letters. She always had one stashed away to send to her mother back home.

" Yeah, hopefully this finds her well." Hazel said handing the piece of wrapped up paper to him.

" It will don't worry." he said with a nod and a smile. The door then opened and both Hazel and Vest turned to see it was Speirs.

" Hazel, I was wondering where you were this morning." he said as he entered with that mischievous smile on his face that Hazel could match equally intention.

Ronald Speirs had been surprisingly like a big brother of sorts to her, almost like a father figure, something she hadn't had. And they got along more than Hazel ever would've thought.

" Sending a letter to my mother." Hazel said leaning back against the counter as Speirs shoved the box onto the counter, " What about you, sir?" Speirs smirked and then placed two smoke cartons on the counter before sliding up next to her.

" I've just about cleaned this place out of every mildly shiny thing." Speirs said, " And of course-" Hazel watched Speirs pull out a tiny figurine from his OD pocket and placed it in her hands. It was a deer.

" Figured you'd like this," he said, " sure it was sort of stock piled at the bottom of this box, a little crushed, but still ya know.."

" A deer." Hazel finished for him and Speirs nodded with a smirk. 

" I figured there's more of that lying around, decided to grab it." he said and Hazel smiled.

" Thank you, sir, I appreciate it, it's so cute." she said and Speirs smiled leaning back against the counter as the two stood, looking out the window.

" You still have 5 boxes lying around this entire town don't you." Hazel said quietly as Speirs gently tapped his fingers on his rest.

" Quite possibly," Speirs answered as Hazel chuckled, " Oh come on, you'd do the same." Hazel glanced up at him.

" Yeah right, sir, I don't strive for that sorta stuff." she answered and Speirs smiled.

" Right, right," Speirs said, with a laugh as Hazel grinned. She pushed up from the counter and pocketed the tiny deer.

" I have to be on my way," she said, " I have to load up my things still in the trucks." Speirs nodded to her.

" You know where we're going?" she asked him. 

" Yep, we're moving towards the Alps." Speirs said as he pushed up from the counter and cross his arms, " Warmer weather, the mountains, Hitler's glorious retreat, sign me up."

" I'd figure your name was first on the list, sir." Hazel said and Speirs chuckled. 

" You know me well, Parker." Speirs said. Hazel grinned with a small chuckle.

" I'll see ya," she called as Speirs gave her a nod before she stepped out into the bustling streets.

People were packing up their things and loading onto trucks, there were moving out in an hour, and people were doing last minute things in the small town. Hazel looked towards the bright blue sky with a tiny smile.

There was a bit of hope.

Hazel made sure all her things were packed up by the time the group was ready to leave and that the attachments for her rifle were all with her. She walked over towards a truck where she could see other members of 2nd platoon, but stopped when she heard yelling. She glanced over and saw Nixon, throwing down his helmet from his head against the truck in front of Winters, Lip and Catherine. Hazel bit her lip before turning and continuing over toward the truck again. As Hazel approached she smiled up at Tony who took her bag and hauled it back where the others were.

" Hey, Perconte." a voice came, " You got a lighter?" Hazel turned and saw it was Speirs with a cigarette, unlighted hanging from his mouth. 

" No, sir, I don't smoke." Perconte answered, as the group saluted, but Speirs didn't seem to entirely care about that, " Hey where we heading?"

" We're going to the Alps, let me see that lighter." Speirs said again. The Alps? 

" The Alps?" Perconte asked as he pulled out the lighter and handed it to Speirs.

" Yeah." Speirs said. 

" That near Berlin, sir?" Bull asked him.

" No."

" That's In Bavaria. Birthplace of national socialism." Webster said as George came and stood beside Hazel, throwing a ball around in his baseball glove.

" So that mean no drop into Berlin?" George asked. 

" No drop into Berlin. Hitler ordered the Waffen SS to hole up in the mountains and repel all the invaders. He wants them to start a guerrilla war." Speirs said as George looked genuinely disappointed that there was absolutely no way they'd be dropping into Berlin.

" Invaders?" Bull asked, " Damn I like the sound of that." 

" They'll die the last man trying." Speirs said.

" You think we can end the war before that?" Hazel asked him as she turned and took hold of the back of the truck.

" Who knows." Speirs answered before he started to turn away.

" Sir." Perconte called as Hazel pulled himself up and into the back of the truck. 

" What?"

" My lighter." Perconte said. Speirs sure had sticky fingers. Speirs, conflicted, glanced down at it a few times before throwing it up to him.

" Alright, nice lighter." Speirs said.

" Thanks." Perconte said as Speirs walked away. Hazel smirked, as she pulled herself up and into the seat beside Liebgott. 

" Waffen SS, huh?" Perconte called as Hazel looked up in the daylight and watched him turn and call to the group.

" Hey, looks like you're gonna get your wish anyway, O'Flannary. Those guys...fucking crazy." Perconte said to O'Keefe who sat innocently nearby, just as Blood on the Risers began being sung by all the paratroopers. 

" It's O'Keefe." O'Keefe said quietly as Perconte went and took his seat with a smirk. Hazel looked at O'Keefe with a small smile. Perconte had told the group about what O'Keefe had said about wanting to drop in and fight the Germans.

But for Hazel at least, the war was not about fighting, it was about getting out human in the end, with the scars to prove it.

The war had taken so much of that away from everyone that Hazel sincerely hoped she may never have to fire her weapon again.

But he was a replacement, he wouldn't know better.

They eventually moved out through the German countryside through the large, cascading mountains and forests, singing _Blood on the Risers_ , its joyful yet entirely cynical tune rung out from the mouths of every paratrooper.

_Gory, Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory, Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory, Gory what a helluva way to die_

_he ain't gonna jump no more_

_The risers strapped around his neck_

_connectors cracked his dome_

_Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones_

_the canopy became the shroud he hurdled to the ground_

_he ain't gonna jump no more_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_he ain't gonna jump no more_

_He hit the ground, the sound was "SPLAT", his blood went spurting high_

_His comrades, they were heard to say "A HELL OF A WAY TO DIE!"_

_He lay there, rolling 'round in the welter of his gore_

_And he ain't gonna jump no more_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_Gory Gory what a helluva way to die_

_he ain't gonna jump no more_

When the singing finally seized, and people moved seats around, Hazel found herself sitting criss cross with a book in her hands, the sun beating down on them a bit as they sat there, and the sweet smell of the German mountain air intoxicating. Hazel flipped through the pages of her book, biting her lip every so often as she sat there.

" There's gonna be good times, Web. When we get home, I mean." Joe said looking at Webster who sat beside him. 

" First thing I'm gonna do is get my job back at the cab company in Frisco. Make a killing off those fucking sailors coming home, you know?" Joe said to Webster who was eating his food, seemingly rather peacefully, making a rather grand attempt at listening to Joe.

" Then I'm gonna find me, a nice..." Joe trailed off as his eyes wandered over to where Hazel sat with her book, eyes soft as they skimmed the page quietly.

" A nice girl, with big blue eyes," Joe said, his eyes trained on her still, as Webster watched him, " and a smile to die for. With 2 dimples, one in each cheek, and freckles that cover her nose...." Joe froze for a moment, before looking away and back at Webster who was still listening and waiting.

" And I'm gonna get us a house, a big one." Joe said as Webster nodded, but didn't miss the way Joe glanced back over towards Hazel who turned the next page in her book. 

" So what about you Web?" Liebgott said.

" I guess I'll finish school first and then, uh-" Liebgott cut Webster off.

" Wait a minute, finish school?" Liebgott questioned, " You mean all this time you've been talking about Harvard this and Harvard that, and you ain't even finished?"

" For one thing, I haven't told you anything." Webster shot back, scooping up more canned food. 

" Oh." Liebgott muttered.

" Yes, yes, I haven't finished." Webster stated. " So the fuck what?" 

" Alright, we'll let it breathe a little, Jesus." Liebgott muttered, " Fuck "

" It's just the way you always talked, you know?" LIebgott said back to him. " We all figured that..." He left it at that. 

" Hey you know what, you're right. So the fuck what?" Liebgott said. The two grew silent.

" So, what did you study?" Liebgott said, but Webster spoke at the same time.

" Hey, bud, um." Liebgott urged Webster on, " Literature."

" Get outta here, you serious? I love to read!" Liebgott said perking up. 

" Do you?" Webster asked seemingly a bit surprised.

" Yeah. Dick Tracy, Flash Gordon mostly. Yeah, fuck." he said, before shoving a Lucky Strike between his teeth. Hazel looked up with a smirk towards Liebgott and Webster, having heard the last bit of their conversation.

" Comic books?" she asked them, as she shut her book. The two looked over at her as she looked at them with a small smirk on her face.

" What's wrong with that?" Joe said defending himself. 

" Nothing." she answered as she leaned back against the truck. Joe smirked.

" Why? What the hell could you possibly be reading?" he asked her.

" Pride and Prejudice." she said with a smirk, Webster smiled.

" That's a good one." Webster said and Joe raised a brow.

" You know that?" he asked him.

" Yeah, of course, classic literature." Webster said. Joe raised a brow.

" Right, fuck." Joe muttered, pulling the cigarette from his lips as he watched Hazel smile at Webster.

Joe narrowed his eyes slightly.

He watched as Webster eventually went over and the two of them began talking about the book. 

And Hazel was laughing at what he was saying.

Joe sat like the angry hot head he was, watching his best friend laugh at what Webster was saying.

He should be the one sitting there making her laugh.

But he held himself back and looked away, before leaning back and looking to the sky, shutting his eyes.

That night, they stayed in the residence of the German people of a little down near the middle of Germany. Everyone burst inside to different rooms. Hazel was shoved in just behind Speirs, and just felt herself breath for a minute once she got in the room. Hazel walked in and sighed as she removed her helmet, hearing the frantic speech from the German woman and her family.

" Tell her she's got five minutes." Speirs said as Hazel looked away. Liebgott started translating in German rapidly. people continued bursting into different apartments of the complex, as footsteps echoed around the entire building as person after person marched in and yelling continued to grow around the entire apartment complex. Hazel looked over and watched as Liebgott continued translating to the woman and to Speirs.

" Sir, she says they've got nowhere to go." Liebgott called. Hazel's eyes softened watched the child at the mother's hands staring up at Joe and the weapon he held in his hand.

The child was probably terrified.

A man coming in with olive drab on, a weapon that could kill someone in his hands, speaking a different language, invading on his home, a home where he most likely felt safest.

" But the house next door is-" the woman interrupted Joe with more angry, panicked German coming out in a slew of words. Hazel watched with sad eyes. 

" We're only gonna be here one night. You've got four minutes!" Speirs yelled at the woman, angrily. Joe immediately started translating again back to the woman as she protested again. It was like a yelling match of the two different languages and their translations back and forth and to different people. They were quickly rushed out of the home, as well as the rest of the German people that were in the apartment complex.

Hazel didn't sleep well that night.

The following morning, Easy was moving again. As they moved, they're massive amount of firepower moved in on either sides of the surrendered Germans. Hazel leaned quietly against the inside of the truck, her eyes downcast as she stared at her boots.

" Hey, you!" a voice yelled. Hazel slowly looked up weakly.

" Hey you!" Webster yelled again as he stood up, hanging out of the back of the truck, " That's right, you stupid kraut bastards!" Hazel watched the German officers and generals look back towards where Webster was yelling from. Her heart sunk as her head pounded.

" That's right! Say hello to Ford and General fucking Motors!" Webster yelled, his voice sounding pained and utterly angry, " You stupid Fascist pigs. Look at you! You have horses! What were you thinking?!" Garcia was the one to yank Webster back into his seat quickly.

" That's enough, Webster." Garcia told him, " Give it a rest." Webster put his head in his hands and Hazel watched him from under the brim of her helmet and the warm glare of the sun.

" Dragging our asses half-way around the world, interrupting our lives, for what!" Webster yelled as he stood again. Hazel's heart sank as she glanced to Skinny and George. No one even could really say anything as it happened. There was nothing to say. Everyone was truly just tired of fighting.

" You _ignorant_ , _servile_ _scum_! What the _fuck_ are we doing here?! _Huh_?!" Webster yelled.

Everyone seemed so ungodly numb though.

It seemed no one could even react to what Webster was saying because deep down everyone felt almost the exact same way.

They drove through more of the German countryside, watching Germans get shot in the head by Frenchmen, or by British soldiers. It was clear those soldiers had lost at the cost of their lives.

But Hazel was numb to death and to violence.

Any gun shot she heard, she barely even glanced over.

A shot echoed off and she slowly looked up from next to Liebgott. O'Keefe had a big reaction, as more of the veterans only sat up a bit to glance over more at O'Keefe than the sound of the gunshot. O'Keefe quickly looked back and towards the veterans. Perconte shrugged, with half a smirk on his face. O'Keefe looked up and towards where Hazel, Joe and George sat. Joe smirked at him, as George lit up his cigarette. Hazel just laid back again, and shut her eyes. She couldn't deal.

O'Keefe looked scared though, Hazel saw the fear that had swarmed in his eyes.

But this was war.

In the early afternoon, Easy with the rest of 2nd Battalion was pulling into the town of Landsberg. Hazel slowly opened her eyes from the rest she had attempted to take and began to see the tiny homes and little gardens that made up the town. People slowly came out on the edge of the street and began looking at the American vehicles that began emerging the streets.

Hazel slowly stood up, and grabbed her helmet as the back gate dropped and men could get to the ground. Hazel's feet slowly touched the ground and she let out a quiet sigh as she looked around. She slowly followed to where 2nd platoon would be bunking, it was like the attic of a pub, but cots lined both sides of the room, with blankets strewn off of them, pillows on the ground.

" Well," Catherine said looking around, " it's home for now." Hazel slowly walked over to a bed and let out a sigh as she removed her bag from her shoulder and her helmet from her head. 

" Winters is sending out 1st on the first patrol, we'll be up next." Chuck said as he stood next to Catherine. Catherine nodded.

" Let's go help unload." she said and stepped around him as the two of them headed outside. Hazel glanced at Joe who sighed to himself but headed out along with Webster and Babe.

Lizzie found herself on the patrol, with George, Frank, Bull, Christenson, O'Keefe and Joe Lesnewski. She clutched the medic satchel on her shoulder close to her, as her eyes wandered up towards the sky above.

It was eerie in the quiet forest.

There were no birds chirping, or insects chirping, especially considering how close it was to summer at the current time or year.

All Lizzie could smell though was a questionable scent that burned her nostrils every time she got a whiff of the dank scent.

Lizzie's eyes surveyed the forest again, it was so quiet.

But so were all the guys on the patrol.

Lizzie walked beside Christenson, her hands squeezed so tight around the medic satchel band, that her knuckles were white. Her footsteps were slow, and cautious as her eyes narrowed at even the slightest bit of movement through the woods. The woods should smell of pine, instead it smelled of what could only remind Lizzie of death.

" O'Keefe." 

" Sarge." O'Keefe was quick in his reply to Bull.

" Why the hell are you so jumpy, boy?" Bull asked him with a smirk.

" I'm not jumpy." O'Keefe promised, " I'm fine." Bull merely laughed, as Lizzie glanced at Christenson next to her.

" Can hear your heart poudning in Arkansas, boy." Bull commented. 

" Jesus Christ, give the kid a break, Bull." Christenson laughed out. Lizzie smirked to herself before she looked back out at the trees again.

" Hey George?" Perconte asked.

" Yeah?" George answered sounding bored.

" Does this kinda remind you of Bastogne?" Perconte asked him. Lizzie rolled her eyes. If anything, Bastogne was the last possible thing she wanted to be thinking about at the current moment. Lizzie slowly glanced back and met George's eyes with a curious raised brow. George made a pouty face.

" Yeah, now that you mention it." George said, " Except, of course, there's no snow, we got warm grub in our bellies, and the trees aren't fucking exploding from Kraut artillery, but, yeah, Frank, other than that, it's a lot like Bastogne."

" Right?" Perconte said.

" Bull, smack him for me, please." George said, and Lizzie turned around again a small smirk on her face. She heard the gentle smack of Bull's hand and the helmet.

" Thank you." George said, clearly annoyed. Lizzie couldn't blame him. They were all exhausted and completely and utterly done with this stupid war that they were all trapped in. The group continued through the forest.

Lizzie couldn't pull it from her mind that the woods didn't smell like the pine scent that it usually gave off. Instead it was a foul scent that became stronger as the group continued to move forward with each step. Lizzie looked up towards the sky and could see the bright blue of the atmosphere from where she stood, as well as the sun that peaked down through the peaks of the forest toward them as the American soldiers moved through underneath the bright sky. Lizzie looked down and bit her lip again somewhat worriedly.

" Hey," a voice said and Lizzie looked up to see it was George beside her. Lizzie offered a tiny smile before looking forward again, upturning her nose. 

" Do you smell that?" she asked quietly, looking at him with big, worry filled eyes. George's eyes watched her softly. He turned his head, pulling the cigarette from his lips as he did so, and breathed in.

" I do." he said quietly. Lizzie was afraid to say the thought she had in her mind of what the smell was, but the fact she had been around the severely wounded and injured more times than a 22 year woman should normally be around, was a dead give away. It smelled like rotting bodies, with the scent being carried by the wind. 

" It smells like, um..." Lizzie stopped.

It had been good for so long, there was no death, no immediate sadness, no hate, no bombings, no sickness and no sleeping in foxholes. But between the scent, the uneasy feeling and the pounding in her heart, Lizzie felt that whatever situation they were in would lead Easy Company back to that breaking point.

" Like what?" George said softly. He was looking at her, his feet still cautious on the ground, cigarette pulled from his lips, eyes staring at her, with a serious expression written across his face.

_Worry._

_Concern._

_Pain._

_Anger._

The list could go on.

" Like bodies, George." Lizzie whispered, keeping her voice low. George watched her.

" Bodies?" he asked her. She nodded, gulping softly to herself.

The scent was poignant, a memory in her mind that reminded her of the aid stations back on The Island; they had been filled with trauma and fear and pain, and dirty, infected wounds that stunk up the entire aid station. She remembered the cries of pain from the men that had been in there. They'd always be stuck in her brain, in her far memory, circulating. Lizzie sucked in a breath and braced herself, tensing up. George gently grabbed her elbow as she glanced at him.

" Lizzie," George said softly. She shook her head. Something felt wrong. Something seemed off, completely off. She felt uneasy. She couldn't describe it. 

" It sure is quiet." O'Keefe said and Lizzie glanced back towards him.

" He is right, fellas." Perconte said, evident worry even in his own voice. Lizzie and George stopped side by side with the rest of the patrol, watching as Christenson held up his hand for them to stop. it looked as if there was an eerie amount of smoke or fog rolling in front the direction the scent had wafted from.

Lizzie kept looking to the sky.

Not a single bird flew through.

Birds were always in forests.

_What was going on?_

Everyone was tense, looking around, their alerts set to the highest level of attention, eyes searching as they spun on their own two feet. The men started locking their weapons, moving a bullet into position as they did so. Lizzie looked to George.

The joking manner from yesterday having disappeared from his expression as he met Lizzie's eyes.

Christenson waved them forward, and the group continued with careful steps moving through the forest, as the scent became heavier and thicker. There was a clearing appearing up ahead, as the trees thinned, more sunshine peaked through, and blue sky became evidently more visible.

Lizzie's eyes widened, and with each step her knees felt weaker and weaker. Then men's weapons slowly lowered with each step as well. The smoke brushed over their faces, and Lizzie slowly felt her jaw drop in anguish. Her hands fell to her sides, as she felt like her heart had been stabbed over and over again, repeatedly. She felt her knees tremble, and she grabbed George's arm beside her, as she started feeling sick to her stomach. She grasped his arm tightly, as she slowly put a hand to her mouth.

 _What_ was going _on_?


	25. broken

**_* heavy topics - reader discretion is advised *_ **

" We will carry pieces of all those who have built and broken us."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

Hazel eventually left all her things near her bed for the day, and headed out into the town. Lizzie had showed her how to do a braid crown a while back, and she had took some time after the rest of the men had left to try and perfect it. She sat with the bobby pins that had been provided by Gene and carefully placed them into her hair, holding the braid crown together.

So when Hazel walked into the bright sunlight, she couldn't help but glance up towards the vast sky.

No stars until night fall.

She slowly continued forward again, heading towards the center of the square in search of some of her friends. Hazel slowly approached the group of men. Everyone seemed relaxed for the moment.

A few of the guys like Tab and Webster had brought out a game with a ball, while Skinny, Babe and Joe were all chatting in a circle. Chuck and Catherine were sharing a smoke, and a few others were just milling about working through a cigarette or enjoying a well-deserved nap. Hazel slowly headed over to Skinny, Babe and Joe, just narrowly avoiding getting pummeled by Webster who caught the ball Tab chucked at him.

" Hey," Hazel called as she approached them with a smile. 

" Hey, Tiny." Babe said.

" Hey there, Tiny." Skinny said as he lit up a cigarette and placed it on his lip. Hazel smiled and walked up to Joe who was staring at her with an innocent smile on her face. She smiled up at him.

" It's called a braid crown if you're wondering." Hazel said with a tiny smile. Joe's eyes didn't move from hers.

" It looks nice." Joe said, his eyes admiring her brown hair brought up in all of the braid. Hazel glanced to Skinny and Babe who were looking between her and Joe. Hazel narrowed her eyes and they looked away. 

" Lizzie taught me, her mom always did that hairstyle for her when she was younger." Hazel said with a smile up at them.

Joe was still looking at her with a dorky smile on his face.

But she just ignored him and his dorky smile.

Being best friends with the man had brought upon many of those moments before, she was sorta used to it.

 _Sorta_.

But Hazel couldn't help but glance up at Joe slightly and just stare up into them, with slightly reddened cheeks. His hair looked fluffy, like you could just run your hands through it forever, and his little nose looked too cute that it just made you want to kiss it softly, and the way his OD top was opened slightly with a bit of the white t-shirt underneath showing made her heart pound a bit faster than it normally did.

She looked away again.

" Hey, Tiny, did you hear me?" Skinny asked her and she shot her head up to look at him. 

" Huh?" she asked him, her face flushing further in embarrassment.

She had been checking the _Joe_ _Liebgott_ out.

In front of other people, in plain SIGHT!

What was wrong with her?

Maybe in this moment he just looked really good, like more handsome than usual?

She shoved her emotions down her throat.

" I asked you if you were excited to finally be moving through Germany. War must be close to an end soon if we simply rode over the border without parachuting in." Skinny said. 

" Um, yeah, I guess," she answered with a slight shrug, " a bit weird, but hopefully we can go home soon." Hazel looked down at her shoes again before sighing to herself.

Why was she like this?

She droned out the conversation the 3 men were having, her mind elsewhere. Hazel was staring off, biting her lip again.

Just something about the entire town felt weird and off and she wasn't sure if anyone else felt that. Hazel looked over her shoulder and then to the sky. They were all just hanging around, they weren't really doing anything. And it was odd. Hazel looked at the sky again. It was just a weird presence she felt she had, standing there.

" You seen Foley?" Hazel suddenly heard and turned to see Frank Perconte, come sprinting into where Easy was currently stationed. Frank cursed, and then came running towards their group of 4.

" Hey guys, any of you guys see any of the officers?" Frank asked quietly.

" No." was the response, but Hazel was concerned.

" No, speak to Popeye, hey Pop." Skinny called.

" Frank, what's wrong?" Hazel called to him, but Frank was already hurrying away to talk to Popeye. The group watched Frank run from Popeye to Alton. Hazel watched him with worry filling her system. He had been on the patrol with the others like Bull, Lizzie, George and Christenson.

Where were they?

Hazel watched Frank go running towards the building nearby, just as Winters came marching out, looking around, looking calm. Hazel began to see Frank and Winters talking to each other, and worry dawn on Winters' face. Hazel looked back towards the trio she was with worriedly, before turning to them.

" Where's the rest of the patrol?" she asked them, crossing her arms, nervously, " Like Lizzie and Bull and George?" But they kept glancing towards where Winters and Frank were talking.

" I don't know." Babe said quietly, as Hazel bit her lip nervously. All the sudden, Catherine came up to the group.

" Grab your gear guys, patrol found something." she said, before sprinting away calling to others. Her voice sounded cold, hard and serious and it made Hazel's heart race faster.

Because she didn't know what was going on. She went with the group to where their things were and grabbed their weapons and helmets, before being loaded up quickly into trucks to follow behind the jeep which held Winters, Speirs, Nixon and Frank.

Hazel sat on the edge, her heart pounding in what she felt could've only been described as inside her throat. Joe was beside her. She slowly looked toward him under the brim of her helmet and met his eyes. Joe gently reached forward and grabbed her hand. She squeezed it gently, as Joe watched her.

As they continued down the pebble filled road, a strange scent began to overwhelm them. It was odd; it was like nothing Hazel had ever smelled before.

Hazel then began to notice a clearing appearing as the truck pulled closer.

And the clearing spread into grey skies and smoke and the smell even stronger.

But Hazel then began to see a fence appear, with wire, and old pieces of wood, and watch pots. And then she saw what she could only assume to be people, standing up against the wired fence, dressed in striped, dirty clothing. Hazel's heart was pounding inside her chest, as the trucks pulled around. Hazel's head moved, never leaving the sight in front of them.

When the truck finally pulled in Hazel was quick to jump off the truck and come around the corner of it to see what everyone else was seeing. Hazel's heart shattered.

What was this place?

Hazel slowly continued taking small steps forward, looking at the people inside, leaned up against the fencing that kept them there. She watched as Winters approached the fence slowly and cautiously looking at the people who Hazel could only think of as trapped. Hazel stepped forward and noticed Lizzie and Gene were now side by side and making their way over to Nixon.

The medics.

The people inside needed them.

Hazel noticed Speirs step forward, helmetless, and looking completely horror stricken as he stood there. Hazel stood off to the side watching as Winters stepped forward towards the gates that Perconte and Christenson opened.

The people inside looked so near to the hands of death, hanging onto the gates, looking at the people, the Americans outside, barely hanging on.

Then they opened the gates.

Hazel slowly stepped forward as the gates were opened and her mouth fell slightly as she saw that the camp went farther back, with smoke billowing from multiple areas and people, even more massive than the ones at the fence standing, and hobbling towards them.

They were trying to help each other to stand, to walk, to move, to get to the front gate where the Americans stood.

Winters began walking in. Hazel slowly walked forward, shouldering her weapon and removing her helmet. She met the eyes of the men in stripes that watched them on the side as they entered. They were filled with pain and emotions and strain. Some were shaking, others coughing, others looking at them with hope, with the look of thanking God.

Hazel felt hands against the fabric of her OD. She looked at what seemed to be a teenage boy, dressed in these striped clothes, his hands clinging onto her, knuckles white, as he looked at her. She watched him with saddened eyes, as she saw his rib cage underneath his unbuttoned striped top. Hazel felt her knees go weak for a moment, before another man stepped forward and touched her helmet and another on her shoulder.

" Liebgott!" she suddenly heard Winters yell and turned around quickly.

 _German_. 

They must speak _German_.

And Liebgott knew _German_.

Hazel looked back up at the 3 men that were almost in tears looking at her. She quickly grabbed the canteen on her waist and held it out to them. They stared at it with wide, confused eyes. She nodded to them.

" It's ok." she said softly, urging them to take even just a sip. The teenage boy was the one to grab the canteen and take a sip of the water. He nodded before passing it to the man beside him. And the man did the same for the 3rd man. She let them have the canteen after that, as they wandered away passing the canteen back and forth between the 3 of them. Hazel blew out her cheeks as she watched them walk away, forcing the tears in her eyes down again. 

" Don't cry." she whispered to herself, " Don't _cry_." Hazel turned away, and put a hand to her face, shutting her eyes.

She had to take a minute as she stood there.

She blew out her cheeks again before turning back and looking at what she could only describe as a camp. She saw Speirs standing and staring painfully, as soldiers and prisoners moved around him. She had never seen him so still and so speechless, unable to comprehend what was going on.

They were so thin, and crippled, barely able to keep themselves up to walk like a human being should be able to. Others were hanging off a more able-bodied person, who dragged them closer to the entrance.

Hazel felt so upset inside, and so ungodly emotional.

There were stars on some of their striped clothes, patched on, with faded markings. But not all wore them, but the large majority did.

The stars looked like that of the Star of David.

As Hazel walked forward, she saw Shifty, standing and staring, with his weapon slack in his arms, his back to her. Hazel slowly stepped forward and stood beside him. She placed a gentle hand on his back, as he looked towards her with a strained expression.

" Hazel..." he whispered, but Hazel had no response. She could only look at his eyes and hope that he got the message that if she spoke, her voice would break. Hazel rubbed Shifty's shoulder as a way to comfort herself and him.

Each soldiers face remained horrified and saddened as they walked through, with large, sad eyes, and a feeling in their chest that no one could entirely comprehend. 

Catherine was frozen, her feet cemented to the ground, like they couldn't move.

" Cath," a soft voice whispered. George. Catherine slowly shut her eyes and let her hand slowly grab his in hers. She was shaking.

 _Horribly_.

But his hand was warm, inviting, gentle and kind, a soft human touch. Catherine forced her emotions down into her chest and slowly opened her eyes, before letting out a shaky breath.

She was okay.

_That's what she told herself._

She wasn't in these people's situation.

_That's what she told herself._

Hazel felt sick to her stomach. She had turned and started heading back towards the entrance to maybe grab a few blankets to just wrap some of these men up in, to stop them from shaking. Many were crying, some of the paratroopers holding some of the men in hugs as they cried.

Hazel could barely watch, she felt so saddened by it all.

But she was going to grab those blankets.

They deserved them.

As she slowly approached the entrance, she saw Joe, a serious expression drawn on his features, as a man in the striped clothes in front of him, talked in rapid German to him, with Christenson, Winters, Speirs and Nixon next to him. Hazel's pace slowed down as she approached and for a moment, her eyes met Joe's. She slowly approached next to Nixon, as the man speaking German spoke faster to Joe.

" Some of the prisoners tried to stop them." she heard Joe say, " Some of them were killed." The man talking to Joe spoke quickly and in a hushed voice, tripping over his words. 

" They didn't have enough ammo for all the prisoners, so.." Joe stopped as the German man spoke again," they killed as many as they could..." Joe stopped again, listening to the man again, " before they left the camp." Hazel watched as the man held back a cry as he spoke. Hazel had to look away for a moment, as she shut her eyes.

" They locked the gates behind them and headed south." Joe said. 

" Someone in town must have told them we were coming." Nixon said.

" Yeah, I think so." Joe said. Hazel looked back at the man, his lip quivered. She forced her eyes not to fill with tears as she watched Joe turn back to the man.

Hazel's heart hurt.

" Will you ask him, uh," Winters started, " ask him what kind of camp this is? Um, what, uh, why are they here?" Hazel looked to Joe, as he translated in German to the man in the striped clothes. Hazel watched him again, as the man forced himself to hold back a cry.

" He says it's a work camp for, uh, unerwunscht?" Joe said, the last word, the German word, one of confusion. 

" I'm not sure what the words men, sir. Uh, unwanted, disliked maybe?" Joe said looking at them.

" Criminals?" Speirs asked. Joe shook his head quickly, looking back to the man who he translated from. No, anything but. 

" I don't think criminals, sir." Joe said before he asked the man again a question in German.

" No." Joe said as the man answered his question. 

" Doctors, musicians..." Joe started, " tailors, clerks, farmers, intellectuals, I mean, normal people." Joe said.

" Juden." the man said, as Hazel's breath stopped. 

" Juden, Juden." the man repeated as suddenly Joe looked to him. Joe bit his lip.

" They're Jews." Joe said.

Joe's heart stopped, and suddenly he felt sick to his stomach, watching this man.

This man only understood Joe, each other. No one else understood the man except Joe. Joe felt himself breaking, but he told himself to hold, to hold those emotions in his stomach, inside his chest, that wanted to claw out like it were a lion.

Hazel's heart shattered, and she bit back her lip, watching Joe.

Joe was _Jewish_.

It felt like everything around them was crashing down and hitting them all at once.

" Poles and gypsies." Joe said, his voice quiet, as the man pointed, and Joe turned his head. Joe asked him another question.

Hazel was _Polish_.

She shut her eyes, when she began to hear the man crying, and turning and walking away. She hated the image she got in her head, she hated it.

" Liebgott?" Winters asked Joe. 

" The women's camp is at the next railroad stop." Joe said. Hazel opened her eyes again and watched the man slowly wander away, his feet moving through the cobblestone and dirt, as he wailed cries of agony and pain.

Then her eyes found Joe's.

The horrid truth that ran through her mind was that this could've been Joe if he didn't live in the United States.

This could've been Hazel if she lived in Warsaw, Poland where her grandmother was from. This could've been them.

The man's cries pained Hazel as she stood there, watching Joe's eyes fill with such emotion and pain.

Joe watched the man walk away, letting out anguished cries that filled the outside area, raw and pained filled from the inside of his chest. Joe had seen himself in the eyes of that man. Tattered, skinnier than he already was, half dead it seemed, clothes hanging off his body, as his fingers could barely tremor at the sounds of nature.

Joe had seen himself.

He had then seen his father, then his sisters, then his brother and then his mother. He had seen each one of them, in that exact position, standing there, watching Joe, pleading for Joe, the American who spoke German, to help them.

Joe looked down, shutting his eyes, holding his emotions that were rawly spewing from his heart.

Winters couldn't speak or move either, as he stood, staring at the ground, his expression strained and unreadable. He couldn't say anything.

Hazel couldn't take it, she eventually stepped away, her mind spinning, tears threatening to fill her eyes and a heart as heavy as the world. She grabbed a few blankets, as much as she could grab in her arms before turning and walking back into the camp.

Right now these people needed care. Hazel didn't know what had happened to them, why they were here, what they were doing here.

 _Nothing_.

But she wanted to make sure these moments, where they were with them, they could be provided an ounce of comfort.

Hazel slowly crouched down beside a man who was curled up on the ground. She placed a hand on his back as he looked up at her. He burst into tears. Hazel dropped the blankets as the man began grabbing onto Hazel and pulling her into a hug, sobbing into her neck. Hazel let him. Hazel crouched the ground on her knees, hugging the man close as he cried, as Hazel fought back her own tears that clogged her throat.

Hazel eventually got him calmed down with gentle words that she knew he didn't understand and a blanket wrapped around him before moving on, with a strained expression upon her face. She felt in so much emotional pain that she wasn't sure what she would do after this. What was she supposed to do?

That's when Hazel noticed Lizzie, walking around the camp, her calm aura radiating as she smiled gently at the men, and did quick medical checks on them, before helping them to their feet and commanding another paratrooper to walk them to the front.

Then she moved on.

Hazel thought Lizzie looked so strong doing what she was doing, some compassion and kindness even in a sad situation like this.

Lizzie didn't falter or tarry in the face of evil.

She stepped right into and straight up to its face, and offered a warm smile and a helping hand to get you to your feet, before making sure you were sent off with the correct medicinal instructions for your car.

Hazel watched Lizzie go about that, making sure men were cared for. But Gene looked the same way, moving around the camp, and doing the same justice that Lizzie offered as well.

The medics had to be the strongest people, Hazel thought.

They were so strong.

Catherine was moving around the camp as well, helmet off, hair pulled back in a low bun, offering blankets and water, with a frozen expression of grief on her face. Hazel felt for her. This was overwhelming, but they had to do something.

They were human beings too.

She was one of the ones that went to get food.

Catherine was more than upset she was overwhelmed with rage. She knew something was off about the town with the weird smell that bestowed upon it. So she took as much as she could from the angry German baker and was glad when Webster got in his face. He deserved it. And she knew Webster was just as upset as she was about this, anger a motivator.

When they arrived back with food it was a frenzy for any of the men to reach out and grab it. They'd been starved. They hadn't had food in what looked like years, at least a substantial amount. They reached for it, grabbing at any piece of meat, cheese or bread they could get their hands on.

Hazel watched from leaning against the truck, as they pleaded for food, hungrily moving over each other for each little bit or crumb they could scrounge.

Colonel Sink had showed up and was currently talking to Winters and Nixon right now as Joe hung back looking towards them curiously, but staying out of information with the higher ups.

Hazel looked back towards where the men in the striped clothes, hungrily reached out for feed. Hazel had eaten a K-ration that morning.

She thanked God in that moment for it.

She thanked him for filling her stomach with feed even the nastiest type in the middle of Bastogne.

She thanked God for all of it, because for these men, they hadn't had it in years.

Hazel looked over and watched as Winters and Nixon spoke to Joe about something. It was the worst pain Hazel had ever seen on Joe's face, spread across it right now. She watched Joe push through the crowd, helmetless moving towards the trucks, before pulling himself up and into it where he could stand and overlook the group. He started speaking in German, which got the attention of all the prisoners.

Hazel watched his eyes as he called over the group. He got the attention of the men in the striped clothes, as he spoke loudly, to make sure they all heard. He finished his sentence, which then sent panic throughout the men, as they started making noises and speaking rapidly, saying things louder and louder, as Joe tried to speak with his voice over top of them.

Hazel felt her heart drop at the pain on Joe's face.

His entire face expressed a pain only a few would understand.

His eyes were watery and glossy and his lips shook with her word and he looked like his guards were falling ever so slowly.

With each word her said, she saw him move closer to breaking, as barriers fell on his facial features, and his lip trembled slightly. His voice was quickly drowned out by the rest of the men, until Joe finally looked down. She watched with a broken heart, as Joe turned and slumped down into the bench on the back of the truck.

Hazel watched his face scrunch up, before his body gave a slight tremor - _a cry_. Hazel quickly pushed up from the truck's side and began pushing through the crowd of people, her eyes watching as Joe began to cry.

Something she thought in all her years of knowing him she'd never see. Hazel pushed to the edge of the truck, before pulling herself up and into the bed of the truck.

Hazel felt tears well at the sight as she sat down quickly next to Joe and pulled him into her arms. Joe's arms wrapped around her center, as she began hearing his cries. They were so innocent, like a boy crying.

But he was only a boy.

Hazel shut her eyes, as she pressed her lips into his hair. That's when her own tears spilled out of her eyes. She let out a cry, her strong facade she had tried to keep up for everyone breaking as the boy who was her best friend sobbed into her arms. Joe squeezed her tighter, as the two held each other, sobbing for too many different things, too many different emotions and too many different levels of pain all combined into one.

Before long, Joe had calmed down and so did Hazel, as he laid his head against the top of her chest, arms still tightly wrapped around her center, staring off, with red, bloodshot eyes. Hazel sat with her chin just above Joe's head, gently running her fingers through his hair to calm him down, as his breathing returned to normal. Her arms still held him close to her, as she softly looked down at him, a few stray tears leaking out.

Joe just pulled her closer.

He thought she smelled sweet, like vanilla.

And her arms around him were so comforting even in front of everyone that probably could see them. The other men that had been on the truck, eventually hopped down past them, leaving them alone, once they heard the cries that had left both their mouths.

Joe liked the way Hazel gently ran her fingers through his hair, it was comforting, and like how his mother had always done.

Hearing Joe's cries had made Hazel's heart hurt inside her chest so much.

He was always strong around everyone, with a hot-headed attitude, a smirk adorning his face, and cocky way of carrying himself. She would've never believed she'd seen him cry during the war.

But it was because of too many things. Many of the people in the camp were Jewish, just the same as Joe; he could've been in that camp, or his family could've been in that camp. He thought of Hazel though as well. Hazel was Polish, her grandmother had come from Poland, Warsaw to be exact, in the last 1880s. It could've been Hazel in those camps.

" Hey," a voice said. Joe quickly sat up from Hazel's chest, wiping his eyes, as Hazel turned, keeping a hand on his shoulder, not bothering to wipe the tears from her eyes that trailed down her cheeks.

It was Winters. 

His face looked full of pain.

" How about you two head back." Winters said gently. Hazel looked at his eyes, which said more words that he probably could literally say.

" Try and get some rest and drink some water." Winters said softly. Hazel nodded, and she noticed Joe nod as well. Winters gave a forced half smile before patting the truck bed and turning away. Hazel stared at the spot where he had walked away from.

Hazel slowly turned back to look at Joe. Her eyes didn't hesitate to fill with tears as she looked at the tears that were on his face. Hazel bit back her trembling lip, as she shook her head. She tried to take a deep breath, to get the feeling of wanting to just sob her heart out away, but it only caused the feeling to amp up.

" It was only right that I cry in front of you, wasn't it?" Joe managed out, as his lip trembled. Hazel let out something between a laugh and a cry, as she clasped her hand over her mouth.

Joe pulled her back into the hug this time, musing his hand up into her hair, as she squeezed her eyes shut praying that she could stop crying, that Joe wasn't crying in her ear, that neither of them were in this painful position.

Eventually Joe pulled back and held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at his eyes. He gently pressed his forehead to hers, shutting his eyes and letting out a trembling breath as she did the same.

" We're okay." Joe whispered and Hazel nodded, trying to convince herself that as well.

The two sat softly like that as they felt themselves calming down, their hearts sinking into a gentle drumming sound.


	26. cruel world

**NOTES:** viewer discretion is advised, heavy topics - this is based on actor portayal and my own portrayal of what i feel could've happen, thank you :) no gif, for seriousness of topic

" It takes courage to stay delicate in a world this cruel."

_\- Beau Taplin_

✰✰✰

Eventually Joe and Hazel were able to pull themselves down and off of the truck. Hazel's feet hit the soil and she took slow trembling steps forward as her knees felt weak at the center. Joe gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they began walking away from the camp with heavy hearts. Hazel couldn't even look back.

" Hey, Joe, Hazel," a voice called and they looked up to see Catherine coming towards them with canteens in her hands, a worried expression on her face once she noticed the tears in both of their eyes. Catherine felt her jaw go slack a bit.

" Winters' sent us back." Hazel managed out, as her voice cracked at the end. Catherine looked from Hazel to Joe and Joe nodded. 

" I'm sorry, guys." she whispered sadly. She knew Joe was Jewish, he was proud of it. And she knew Hazel was Polish, where a majority of these people in the camp were from. Catherine then stepped away and began heading back inside the camp with an equally heavy heart.

Joe and Hazel remained in silence all the way back to where 2nd platoon had been placed to sleep that night. Joe's hands were gripping onto Hazel tightly and Hazel kept glancing weary glances up towards him. Once they entered the room, Joe clenched onto Hazel's arm tighter.

" I think I'm going to be sick," Joe managed out, before stumbling out past Hazel, towards the bathroom and collapsing by the toilet. Hazel shut her eyes as she heard Joe get sick, his cries mixing with his getting sick.

Hazel immediately hurried forward into the bathroom and slowly sat by his side, as he got sick, rubbing his back softly, her arm drawing up and down the OD top, as she reached forward to brush back the hair that lay gently curled along his forehead.

When Joe finished, he shut his eyes, a quiet sigh escaping his mouth. Hazel turned and grabbed the wash cloth on the sink counter and retracted it before gently bringing it to his mouth. Joe felt a cloth there, a bit of fabric, and a gentle touch.

Joe flinched before looking at her. His eyes were filled with grief, and Hazel's heart ached for him. This truly hurt him more than anything.

Hazel gently wiped at his mouth with the wash cloth, before pulling back her hand, keeping her other hand on the side of his tear streaked face. It broke her heart to see Joe this way, but he had every right to be this way. He was shaking, from what Hazel could tell, and cold sweat had formed along the line against the his forehead. Hazel quickly grabbed the second wash cloth and brushed back his hair to wipe the cloth along his forehead as Joe watched her, his body shaking.

It hurt Hazel to see Joe the way he was, it did.

Hazel loved him.

She loved him, even in his darkest moments.

_It hurt._

Joe watched her, his eyes having a few fresh tears in them.

" Hazel..." he whispered, his voice breaking at the last letter as he spoke, " I..." He shook his head. 

" Hey," she whispered, gently cupping his face," you don't have to explain one thing okay, you don't have to force yourself to speak okay? You can just sit here okay, I'll sit with you," Joe watched her, his eyes crestfallen and so sullen and so ungodly sad. He nodded.

" C'mere," she whispered, sitting against the sink counter, gently offering her arms as a console.

Joe adored human touch.

Human touch kept him stable, like his mother's touch.

Joe gently leaned away from the toilet and crawled over to Hazel before letting his barriers falter. He crawled into her cocoon, body curled against hers as her arms wrapped around him, holding him close. Her gentle touch was her fingers softly brushing through his chocolate locks, and her body was warm against his shaking one and Joe could hear the soft, persistent beating of her heart in her chest.

It was a soft sound, but as Joe lay against her chest, it was all he could focus on.

The soft, gentle beat of her heart.

 _Her_ heart.

 _Hazel's_ heart.

A _good_ heart.

Such a _good_ _heart_.

His heart was cruel and cold and untamed. His heart yearned for hers, more than ever, to control the beast inside his chest.

Now the hearts were nearly touching each other.

His heart felt calm, it felt soft, it felt steady, it felt in _sync_.

It made him hold her closer, pull her closer to his body, his buoy, his lifeboat, his guardian angel. She was the only thing keeping him stable, keeping him from lashing out, from hysterically sobbing, from losing his _fucking_ _mind_. She was the only thing keeping him afloat from drowning in the sea of despair that tempted to fill up around him. Joe's eyes were half open, staring forward towards the toilet, but he felt her hand in his hair, he could feel her body, her warm body underneath his, providing warmth to his own, and he could hear the gentle humming that came from her vocal chords, like a sweet song from a little bird. It was calming. The gentle vibration from her chest, echoed against his body, and he felt suddenly so safe.

" Hazel?" Joe whispered, his voice sounding like a small child. 

" Hm?" she whispered softly, continuing to run her fingers through his soft hair.

" Thank you," he whispered, " for today." In response, Hazel gently pressed a kiss to his head full of fluffy hair and then pulled back to continue running her hand through his hair, holding him closer to her. He looked so innocent, curled like a little boy, grasping onto the front of her ODs for support, his hands, tightly gripped, his head cuddled and curled against her upper chest. And Hazel held him, she just held him in her arms, so comfortingly, so protectively.

In that moment, two hearts were one, strung together like string, grasping one another, keeping the other steady, keeping them safe; two hearts were _one_.

" Hey!" Lizzie called over the group of soldiers, looking at them from under the brim of her helmet. The soldiers began to look towards her as she looked at them from where she stood in the bed of the truck. They'd arrived at the women's camp not too long ago, with the enforcement of the Nurses' Corps and Medical Corps on the way. 

" These women need your help. But they have a right to fear you as men. They were treated wrongly for years on end by men in uniform, and I hate to break it to you but you are men in uniform." Lizzie said, looking at them.

" I advise you that when you attempt to treat them until Nurses' Corps shows up, that you remove your helmet, show them you are in fact Americans and that you are not the enemy. Trust is hard. And it will take a while if they fully decide to trust you until Nurses' Corps shows up." Lizzie said looking at the massive group of men from all companies of 2nd Battalion, not just Easy. Gene stood beside her, with crossed arms, and a serious expression masking his face. 

" Do what you can for them right now, until Medical and Nurses' Corps show up, by providing blankets, sips of water and only the smallest crumbs of food. Their stomachs can not take large amounts of caloric intake yet; they're stomachs can not with stand that since they've lacked nutritional value in their food for years. You have to be gentle with them, and be calm and kind and caring." Lizzie said as she looked at them.

" This is why we are fighting the war we fight." Lizzie said looking at them, " These are human beings, respect them and help them in any way you most certainly can help. Because you would expect the same if you were in their position." 

" You're all dismissed." Lizzie called, as the men turned and started off into the camp, with blankets and bits of water and food that they could provide. Lizzie looked to Gene beside her.

" You sounded great." Gene said quietly looking at her with a smile, as she slowly removed the helmet from her head.

" I tried," Lizzie said before looking out from the truck bed, " I just, I can't imagine myself in that position, you know? They're probably terrified, the least I can do is let these guys know what it might be like for them, even if they want help." Gene smiled softly at her, and gently squeezed her arm. Medics endured the worst; they didn't have a clue how late they'd be out, but they helped any person, ally, enemy, or victim. They helped humans. Gene gently jumped off the bed of the truck and offered his hand to Lizzie who took it with ease before her feet touched the ground.

" Thanks, Gene." she said. 

" Let's head out," he said and Lizzie nodded, pulling her satchel up on her shoulder. Lizzie rolled up her sleeves and let her helmet hang against her waist as she moved forward towards the camp where the women were, Gene by her side. Lizzie softly crouched beside a young woman who sat curled in a ball.

" Hi," Lizzie whispered softly, her voice light, caring, and filled with kindness. The young woman looked up at Lizzie, at the sound of her voice, even if she couldn't understand her. 

" I'm an American." Lizzie said gently, pulling out the American flag patched she kept in her satchel.

The young woman took the patch in her hands and Lizzie watched as tears slowly filled the woman's eyes as she let out a cry and held it towards her heart, her frail hands shaking, clasping, holding the patch like it were the most precious things.

Lizzie gently scooted up to the woman's side and placed a hand on her shoulder. The young woman flinched quickly, blood shot eyes shooting up to meet Lizzie's. Lizzie smiled softly, her gentle hand, making a warm spot on the woman's shoulder as Gene watched the scene gently. The young woman let out a cry and didn't hesitate to shoot up into the hug offered by Lizzie's arms, a medic's arms. Lizzie slowly lowered herself to the ground and held her even tighter.

" It's going to be okay," Lizzie whispered, brushing through the woman's matted hair, " It'll all be okay." The trembling woman sat back and looked up at Lizzie, as Lizzie softly brushed the tears from her sunken in cheeks. The woman watched Lizzie who smiled and nodded. 

" I'm Lizzie." Lizzie said.

" Danke." the woman whispered, " Danke, danke." Lizzie nodded, smiling softly, holding her hand in her own.

" This is Eugene Roe, or Gene," Lizzie said softly, guiding her eyes to Gene who sat crouched a few feet away, eyes soft, drawn up in worry.

" Come here, Gene," she said softly, as Lizzie held out her hand for Gene. Gene watched Lizzie but she eased him forward gently taking her hand as Lizzie allowed him closer. The woman stared at Gene with horror filled eyes, like he were the enemy.

For the woman, men were her enemy.

" Medic, help." Lizzie said, gentle words to soothe the woman. Gene slowly crouched in front of the woman and watched as the woman stared back at him. Then the woman gently held up the patch that Lizzie had towards Gene, holding it beside his face. Gene watched her as the young woman looked between Gene and the American patch. American.

Gene was an American.

The woman looked hesitantly up towards Lizzie who nodded with a smile.

" Friend," Lizzie whispered, putting her hand on Gene's bent knee and nodding. 

" Friend." Lizzie said softly again. The woman watched her. Lizzie gently let go of the woman and shuffled towards Gene wrapping her arms around his neck, to hug him by her side.

" Friend," Lizzie whispered to the woman. She was ill, and had infected wounds. Lizzie and Gene needed to move her together. Lizzie gently crouched back towards the woman and gently put a hand on her shoulder. 

" Friend?" the woman said, sounding out the letters looking between Lizzie and Gene. Lizzie nodded. The woman suddenly smiled looking at Gene and scooted forward a bit, before placing a gentle hand on Gene's hand and holding it in her pale and frail fingers.

" Friend." she whispered softly nodding looking up at Gene. He ever so gently placed a hand over the woman's and held it there.

" Friend," Gene whispered back with a nod and the woman smiled, meeting his eye. Eventually Gene and Lizzie managed to get the woman moving and sitting on the truck bed where she sat fascinated by the American flag patch. Lizzie stood at her feet, working on the nasty infected wound that lay on her leg as Gene offered the tiniest sips of water to the woman that he could provide.

" Doc Elliot!' a voice called and Lizzie glanced back over her shoulder to see two medics hauling a woman up whose foot looked rather mangled. 

" Can you finish this up, Gene?" Lizzie asked Gene and he nodded. The woman they were working on only trusted Gene, he was the medic with the American patch.

" Yeah, go," Gene said and she hurried towards the two medics with the woman and gently stopped. The woman was unconscious, and Lizzie quickly felt for a pulse. It was low, but it was there. 

" There's trucks lined up along the North side heading back towards the men's camp, they should be able to transfer her to a medical facility for her leg and any other issues she might encompass." Lizzie explained softly.

" Yes, ma'am." the one answered.

' Thank you, ma'am." the other answered before they turned and began walking off with the woman, careful to keep her mangled foot lifted from the ground. Lizzie watched the woman go and blew out her cheeks.

A medics job was tough in this certain situation. It was the feel to express emotions and let yourself break to your knees, but you also wanted to help people, it's what you did as a combat medic, no matter the cost or how detrimental it may be. You helped everyone. Lizzie gently turned and treaded back towards where the truck was with the woman and Gene. Gene was gently dabbing at the wound on her leg, speaking quietly to her as she watched intently with big eyes as his gentle touch on her leg brought a comfort she hadn't had in a while.

When the woman in the back of the truck noticed Lizzie, she actually smiled, and waved, bringing up the American patch. Lizzie nodded with a small smile. The woman clutched it to her chest, grinning like a little kid. Lizzie slowly turned and looked back over her shoulder towards the camp where she saw soldiers helping who they could and combat medics treating women as gently as they could, as softly as their hands could without scaring them. Lizzie sighed, sucking in a tiny breath.

They'd be okay, they all would.

Catherine had stayed back to finish things up at the men's camp, working with Tab to make sure all help and care that could've been provided was provided. Lizzie and Gene had left with a group of men from 1st platoon for the women's camp where Medical and Nurses' Corps would soon be. But it was getting darker, as the stars started to show and the moonlight came down upon the unrested soldiers.

Catherine had to take a minute as she stood outside of the camp, trying to make sure she didn't make herself sick from the utter disgust she had for what the Krauts did to human beings.

Live human beings. She stared coldly towards the forest edge, her fingers on her right hand making indents in her palm so much so that it was close to nearly bleeding. These people didn't deserve any of this, none of it. Her helmet was hanging in her hand, by her side, limply at this point.

Catherine knew it was weak to even think, but she felt like crying, like breaking down and falling to her knees, even for just a moment to let the pain that swelled her body out. She needed an outlet, she needed to get it out of her body, all the grief, anguish, pain all the built up suffering from the past year that had been too much to bear.

Catherine put a hand over her eyes and squeezed them shut. Her eyes were burning hot under her sweaty hand and both her hands were shaking; the one over her eyes and the one holding the helmet. Her lips trembled.

Why are you crying?

_STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING! CATHERINE MCCOWN STOP CRYING!_

Her brain was yelling at her to stop crying, to stop feeling the emotions that settled in her chest like a cough, to stop feeling so numb that her only reaction was to cry. To stop feeling.

_STOP CRYING! YOU ARE WEAK! STOP CRYING!_

Catherine only felt herself break further, her mind unable to plug away anymore, unable to control herself, unable to control her emotions. Catherine always believed humans deserved every chance they got, so seeing humans like that broke her entirely. Catherine let out a shaky cry, her body heaving.

_STOP CRYING! STOP CRYING ALREADY AND GET OVER YOURSELF STOP FEELING SELFISH! STOP FEELING EMOTIONS! STOP CRYING!_

But she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop crying for how cruel a world can be for how cruel humans can truly be to other humans, how cruel the world is. Then there was a hand on her shoulder.

It was George, it had to be.

He was always there for her, when she wasn't there for herself.

Catherine's hand over her eyes slowly reached for the hand on her shoulder and as she turned, she could barely see his face through her blurry eyes. As she took the few steps towards him, her hands shaky, knees weak, she pulled her way to him, along his arm, before letting the helmet fall from her shaky hand, and launching herself into his arms, letting out a sob into his arms. His arms wrapped around her quicker than ever before, holding her, just holding her, as she sobbed for humanity.

Why was the world as cruel as it was?

Why did people have to wage war on one another to solve their issues and then kill them to feel better?

Why did war have to be the way it was?

So angry, so grief filled, so rough, so emotional.

Why was war cruel?

Why was the war cruel?

Her heart ached with each sob that escaped her body. There were so many tears as George held her, his hands holding her to him, keeping her as close as he possibly could.

" Why is the world so cruel?" she sobbed out, shuttering sobs falling out of her mouth. George nuzzled his head into her neck, his warmth breath against the nape.

" I don't know," he whispered against her soft skin, " I won't ever know."

_STOP CRYING CATHERINE! YOU BETTER STOP CRYING! STOP THE TEARS! STOP THE RACING IN YOUR HEART! STOP ALL OF IT!_

The voices in her head were to loud, they were all too loud. She just wished it would be quiet for a moment.

But suddenly, her breathing rate slowed, and the loud yelling that echoed in her head, slowly turned down a few notches, until it all but disappeared entirely.

And suddenly she was back, clinging onto George, with all her might, arms wrapped around one another, holding each other tightly.

And his hair smelled good, such a gentle scent that was like home, with the bubble baths her mother would always put on, letting Catherine splash around with a little rubber ducky she called Annie - a little faded, a little worn. It was still a little ducky.

And suddenly Catherine melted into his embrace, as memories of home overwhelmed her mind, her entire being. She felt calmer and her mind concluded. She had panicked, freaked out, gone into overdrive - it was a horrible feeling. George eventually helped Catherine sit down and was slowly helping her drink water, as her fatigued body, struggled to hold up the canteen in her hands as she took long sips from it.

 _Crying_.

She had full-on sobbed and now she had never felt worse about it all. She had cried so many times in this war, too many times.

How were you supposed to not cry in war?

How were you supposed to stay strong in each and every area the entire time you fought?

Some people couldn't - _most_ people couldn't.

Catherine couldn't, and now she would have to accept that. And she was a Lieutenant for Christsake, she couldn't keep her emotions at bay? She couldn't contain them. She felt weak, she felt so horribly weak - and she hated it with a passion. She clenched her hands into fists, where the indents left bloody marks across her palm.

" Hey, no, it's okay, Lieutenant..." George whispered softly, as he pulled her hands open and unclenched. Catherine looked at him on the ground as the sun brushed through his hair a bit. She went to open up her mouth, but instead shut it again. 

" I'm sorry for crying," she whispered, her voice shaking, " I've cried in front of you too many times." Catherine sat with her hands in George's staring forward, eyes sad. She shouldn't have cried or even let herself get to that point.

" I'm so so sorr-"

" Hey, Catherine," George said and Catherine looked over to meet his eye, " I get to have the prettiest girl crying in my arms, I wouldn't say no to that." And there was a little smile on his face, even with the war, even with the camp they found, even with all of this. And she smiled.

" You always say that when I cry," she said with a slight laugh, running her hand under her eye with a small smile. 

" It's true ya know?" George said knocking her shoulder lightly, with a small smile. Catherine shook her head with a smile.

" I should tell you thank you more often," she said, " for putting up with me." 

" Ah, Lieutenant, I've told you before, it's okay, as long as I see a smile at the end of it." George said and Catherine smiled softly, a light laugh escaping her mouth.

Sitting with George, just sitting beside him, made her heart feel so warm, and she always felt happy around him, happier than when she were alone. And he had this way of instantly making her feel better when she was upset, which was only when she saw George it seemed.

" You know," George whispered, holding her hands in his," when my little sister, Maria? When she would get upset, I'd hold her little hands and I'd give them kisses and she always giggled because she said it tickled them. She called them the Tickles." Catherine giggled. 

" Maria sounds adorable." Catherine said and George met her eyes.

" Cutest kid I've ever seen," George said as his fingers gently tapped against her palm. Catherine softly smiled. 

" You know what her favorite color is?" George asked her. Catherine looked towards him with a smile.

" Blue," George said, chuckling lightly, " she would draw me these cute little blue dogs, with big eyes, and call her Little Blue. We called the dog Blue because of it. Blue like your eyes." Catherine softly felt her heart rate speed up just a bit faster. She sighed softly to herself and smiled. 

" You have nice eyes too," she said, glancing his way as George chuckled to himself.

" These are mama's eyes," George said and Catherine could tell. He always had so much joy and love in his eyes and never failed to appear to be looking at someone so deeply. Catherine wanted to hold the joy that George held in his eyes in her own.

When would she feel happy again?

She didn't know.

But sitting here with George, she felt that maybe she would soon enough - find that bit of happiness.

The two sat side by side for a while, as the soft sun beat down upon their weary bodies.

Sometimes you have to keep breaking, over and over again until you were built back up again.

Catherine didn't know how many more times she might have to break, to build up again.


	27. the little birdie

" I'm not gifted but I'm not hopeless."

**_\- Norman Spinard_ **

✰✰✰

By that night, after Catherine had cleared up from the emotional breakdown of stress and grief, she had to head back into town after escorting the remaining Easy Company soldiers away for sleep that night. And she had to report to Dick in HQ. Catherine slowly stepped into where the offices were and removed her helmet from her head. She moved down the hallway and then stopped in a doorway seeing Dick working at his desk. 

" Hey," she said as she entered the room, her footsteps soft, her voice broken. Dick slowly turned at the sound of her voice.

" Hey, Cath," he called, making a few more notes on his paper before turning to her. 

" The men have been moved back, I know some of the medics are still out working at the moment, but the men have been led back." Catherine said.

" Good, thanks, Cath." Dick said before placing down his pencil, " Supposedly they found more of these camps. The Russians especially, one that was 9x the size of this one." Catherine watched him.

" The Krauts are responsible for this." she said, shaking her head before leaning up against he doorframe. Dick nodded.

" Jesus," she whispered, " well, I'm going to head back, make sure the rest of the men are getting their rest and check in with Lip." 

" Good night, Cath," Dick called as she turned and headed down the hall towards where 2nd platoon was. She hurried up the staircase running into Lip along the way and the two talked quietly before she moved onto where 2nd platoon currently was being housed. Her feet were soft against the ground and then she finally came to the door and gently pushed it open. She was met by Chuck, a hand pressed to his lips in a quiet form.

Catherine watched his eyes, and slowly creaked the door open following Chuck's lead. Chuck pointed towards where the bathroom was and immediately Catherine saddened, her heart sagging inside her chest. Joe was lying curled against Hazel, who were both asleep, by the open toilet, the door open enough to see the soft light against the silhouette's of their bodies. Catherine bit back her lip and watched the two.

" When you came in they were like this?" Catherine asked softly. Chuck nodded. 

" I think we should let them be," Catherine said softly. The group nodded, before Catherine gently walked forward and shut out the light in the bathroom.

" They both need to rest," Catherine whispered looking at the group. Everyone slowly nodded before falling into their nightly routines, changing and getting ready for a restless night of sleep.

Catherine retreated outside that night, for a 0100 cigarette, nothing which was out of the ordinary, but something to keep her wild feeling emotions at bay. She gently lit the cigarette in the night and placed it on her lip before blowing it out into the night air.

" Hey," a voice said and Catherine looked up to see it was Nixon. Catherine sighed and looked down, the cigarette playing in her fingers. 

" Hi," Catherine said softly, eyes downcast. Nixon gently walked forward before sitting down beside Catherine in the night and taking out his own cigarette to place on his lips.

" Did you ever write those letters, Nix?" she asked quietly, glancing over towards him with sad eyes. 

" No," Nix said, " not yet." Catherine watched him.

" But I did write one." Nixon said. Catherine looked at him. 

" What do you mean?"

" Just now," he said nodding, " after I came back. By the name of Dorothy Freeman," Catherine watched him. 

" And I thought of a certain Lieutenant," Nixon said, " one that really cares for the company, with the ability to lead virtually anyone, and a knack for making one helluva black coffee." Catherine watched him with tears in her eyes.

" So, I wrote, wrote for about an hour, making sure that the letter the Freemans received about their daughter was the one any Virago who lost their life would be worthy of receiving. They were apart of the most valiant, brave, courageous groups of women who fought for their right to fight alongside men, in one of the most elite groups of Operation Virago, who didn't care about those stupid social norms, they wanted to fight, be apart of something great, something better. And I wrote," Nixon stated, " a full page." Catherine watched him, biting back her lip. 

" I wrote and I wrote," Nixon said, taking a puff of smoke, " more than I thought I could. She didn't deserve the death that was offered to her, but she had to take it, she died for her country. Even if it were in secret." Catherine shut her eyes. She nodded.

" I'm sorry, for being as abrupt as I was," she said quietly, " I was upset and I was still hurting, your one of my closest friends, Nix, I'm sorry." Nixon smiled at her.

" Life's a mess, Cath," he said and let out a soft sigh. She nodded as she looked at her cigarette.

" We're all upset, angry, we all want this thing to be over," Nixon said and she nodded. She flicked away the burnt out cigarette. 

" Here," Nixon said and handed her the cigarette. She smiled softly.

" Thank you," she whispered and Nixon nodded, with a small smile. A little broken, a little torn, but they were still Easy Company. 

" Hey," a voice said and the two officers looked up to see George Luz standing with an empty carton of cigarettes.

" George," she said sitting up and looking up towards him. George couldn't even smile, he just sat down beside her and let out a sigh. She then offered the cigarette in his direction. George met her eyes and managed a small smile. George took the cigarette and softly placed it on his lips before taking a drag and passing it back to her.

The 3 soldiers sat quietly on the steps that night, passing the cigarette through themselves, before Nix opened up a new carton and the rotation continued. Up until early morning when the moon was close to setting.

Hazel's eyes opened and she was met with a bleak darkness, but covered in warmth. Hazel shifted a bit and suddenly looked down a bit. Joe was wrapped around her, in her arms. And he was asleep, she could tell, his body was like a deadweight on her own body which was perched up against the sink cabinets. Hazel blinked herself awake a bit more, as she heard the quiet snores slowly leaving Joe's mouth, against her chest.

And suddenly all the memories came rushing back of yesterday and her heart shattered. Joe's face was forever ingrained in her brain, the one he had given her last night as his head came up from the toilet. Her fingers gently ran through his hair, as her heart rate slowed. She was calm, just sitting with him in her arms.

Joe had never broken like he had in front of her like that - she thought she'd never seen him break. But with yesterday's event, he had every right to be the way he was right now. She herself had been upset, but seeing Joe more upset made her maternal instincts kick in and her focus become solely on Joe and nothing else.

He deserved to be comforted like he was the most precious thing in this entire world.

She knew that by the look in his eyes, he had seen himself in that man who translated for Joe. She knew it effected Joe in so many ways. Hazel shut her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

Sitting here in the dark, with Joe Liebgott curled up like a child in her arms, fast asleep, with dried tears on his cheeks, was not where she envisioned herself last April.

She had been enjoying time without a war filled mind, without a war torn heart. She had simply been living without the thought of how the war effected the human mind.

And she had been wrong.

Wrong in every sense with how she thought it would effect her and other people. She never knew that her brain would change in ways she couldn't imagine.

The darkness of the room was comforting because she knew it meant Joe was sleeping, he was in a world where none of this existed, he was in his own world, a world that whatever he wanted to happen, happened in his mind. He was at peace for a moment in his sleep.

That's all Hazel wanted, for him to be at some sort of peace, for his poor little heart that had been shattered like a fragile, glass vase.

Hazel gently rested her cheek down against the top of his hair as shut her eyes as she held Joe so softly in her grasp. He deserved to be held, to be loved, to be looked at so gently, to be comforted, to be enough. For who he was. Hazel was awake for a little while longer, just letting Joe sleep - he deserved it. And she wanted him to sleep.

Joe had shifted himself awake as Hazel had been staring up towards some of the pictures that were around the bathroom. When Joe sat up from Hazel, he looked towards her, realizing she was there.

The two watched each other for a few moments in the darkness, their eyes the only fairly visible parts of themselves. Hazel watched his eyes which looked heartbroken within her own gaze. And she watched him come back to reality, the reality of the night before, the heart ache, the grief, the despair. His eyes welled with tears again and Hazel's heart broke further.

" Hey," she whispered, her lip trembling, as she watched him get upset, " I'm right here, we're right here." Joe sniffled and shut eyes as Hazel softly cupped his cheek. Joe lent into her soft touch, seemingly begging for simply touch. 

" It's okay," she whispered, and gently brushed against his cheek. Joe hoped it would be, that it would all be okay.

Breakfast that morning was bitter in a sense, with everyone's moods turned more sour than a lemon. They were moving out at 1200, but that meant spending the rest of the morning in the stench of the what the German citizens had been ignorant too for the past few years. It was numbing to see what humans were capable of.

Joe sat idle beside Hazel, his food in the tin in front of him slowly growing colder and colder by the minute as he ignored it. He had told Hazel in a raspy voice that he still felt sick to his stomach, vile, disgusted, perturbed, utterly horrified. He felt if he ate he'd throw up again - he didn't want to do that. Hazel didn't push him.

" Hey you two." a voice said softly and both Joe and Hazel looked up weakly to see Lip gently sliding in across from them, two cups of coffee in his grasp. Hazel gave a bleak smile as Joe barely even registered that he was being spoken to, in a state of this dark wasteland almost. Hazel gently placed a hand on Joe's arm and gently squeezed it.

" Lip brought coffee." she whispered softly as Joe seemed to register her voice and looked up softly towards Lip. Lip gently secured the cup in Joe's shaky hands before pushing the other cup towards Hazel, who smiled softly.

" Thanks, Lip." she whispered, and then took a gleeful sip of the coffee, where she finally felt her heart warmer than it had been in days it felt. 

" You doing okay?" Lip asked them and when Hazel met his eye, she knew Lip was just genuinely concerned for the both of them. Hazel hated to think it but Hitler was not fond of the Polish people either. She knew that when looking at the prisoners, one of those men could've been her grandfather, and the women could've been her mother, her grandmother, her. It could've been her, and that scared her. It scared her down to her core, her deep core and it hit a tiny spike and lodged her heart in her throat.

" We'll be okay," Hazel whispered and Lip watched her. He could see the pain in Hazel's eyes that reflected like that of the sun in sunglasses. Clear and bright as day, evidently evident. He watched Hazel glance towards Joe and her eyes only saddened more. And he watched her put down his cup and gently coax Joe into sipping coffee, to get something in his system, anything, just a bit of substance to hold his already queasy stomach.

And he managed some sips of coffee, before pushing the cup back across the wooden table and staring coldly at the table. Hazel glanced back at Lip who watched her. She gave the saddest smile he'd seen on a person, watching him with still hope filled eyes. She still had hope, so much of it. He admired her courage even in the times she faced.

Lizzie and Gene came back from the all night at the camps, but they had small smiles on their faces sharing a canteen of water between them, eyes gentle as they talked gently. The German citizens of Landsberg had to go to the camps by truck and see what they were so ignorant of for the past few years - they deserved it, to see what ignorance to human sacrifice did, what it truly looked like. It was horrid. Lizzie approached where Catherine stood passing a cigarette between her and George before glancing over at the two arriving medics.

" Hey, you two holding up alright?" Catherine asked.

" Best we can," Gene answered as Lizzie smiled softly. Gene glanced back towards where Lip sat with a quiet and closed off pair of Joe and Hazel.

" Those two alright?" Gene asked softly. The group of 4 glanced towards where the trio sat.

" They will be, they just need some time," Catherine said softly. Lizzie felt her heart sadden as she watched the two soldiers sitting side by side, utterly distraught. They had every right to be acting the way they were acting, the image presented to them of the horrible situation was disgusting to even witness, Lizzie would've reacted the same way, but she was a medic and had a duty to uphold, that of high regard. She had to remain built up mentally tough just for that time period.

By 1200, Easy was loaded into trucks and headed out towards Thalem. It was a weird feeling amongst the men on the trucks, as many were worried for Hazel and Joe, neither really spoke and the looks that came from them looked completely and utterly broken and torn to the bone. Their only support it seemed at the moment were each other, as no one else could even begin to understand what feeling grasped each of their hearts as they sat there.

The first night in Thalem was rough.

On many of the men, mostly everyone.

Arriving at a town in the late afternoon, previously bombed out, filled with a tense rage that was swarming and slithering around as if it were a snake. And that night was worse. Hazel slept in fits, her mind a complete and utter mess or words and images and voices and cries. She wished it could all stop. But she made a promise to herself, she needed to control her emotions, her emotions which she had thought she wouldn't put on display ever again. She was determined to keep them from exploding. And it seemed Joe mentally agreed to himself to do the exact same.

Hazel had retreated to a small perch that overlooked the bombed town of Thalem. Her back was flush against the cold concrete, and her knees were up bent as she looked forwards, eyes unfocused. She bit her lip, like she always did when anxious and picked at her nails. She wanted it to be over, to be able to stop going from bombed out city to bombed out city, seeing the terror war struck on each building, letting the remains be that of misplaced peoples and unwanted emotions.

It made Hazel sick.

So sick.

To even look at it.

Hazel sucked in a soft breath and let it out, as she wiped at the tear on her cheek. Landsberg would never leave her mind. She told herself she wouldn't allow it. It was a cruel place, but a memory she would have to accept as one.

Hazel watched a little bird flutter down into the bombed out window, slowly twittering to the ground in front of her feet. Hazel sniffled and looked away. Then the little bird twitter softly again, louder, persistent. Hazel softly glanced towards it again and watched it. The birds head twitched to the side, as it hopped on both of its little feet, before quirking its head to the opposite side, watching her. Hazel sniffled and slowly leaned forward as the little bird bounced backwards. Hazel's hand retracted gently, pulling back hesitantly as she watched the bird slowly bounce forward again, watching her.

" Hi," Hazel whispered, and looked at it. The bird chirped a soft chirp. Hazel bit back her lip and offered a finger forward. The bird bounced back a few steps before slowly easing a few hesitant steps forward. Hazel smiled slightly. 

" You're probably thinking what a strange creature?" Hazel whispered as the bird's head cocked at the sound of the voice. The bird chirped. Hazel smiled softly, biting back the light giggle. The bird chirped, another hesitant step forward towards her outstretched finger.

" We're all strange little creatures aren't we?" Hazel said softly as the bird hesitantly jumped back again from her finger, uneasily watching her. Hazel smiled and titled her head to the side as the bird took a soft bounce closer. 

" It's okay, we're the same you and me," Hazel whispered, " fearful of what might happens if we trust someone." The bird watched her and gently chirped again.

" It's okay, I'd be scared to." Hazel said softly. The bird watched her, as if it understood. Of course it probably didn't, he was a little bird. But you never knew. 

" I hope you never had to witness this cruel world." Hazel whispered and then glanced at the sky where the stars would normally make their routine appearance, " The stars see it all." Hazel glanced back at the bird and gently reached a shaky finger forward. The bird only jumped back a bit this time, eyes watching her finger's every move.

Then the little bird, took a few hops forward, before hopping upon her finger. Hazel watched the bird, not moving a muscle. The bird chirped out a sweet song as Hazel slowly lifted her finger up from the ground, the bird chirping, perched on her lightly.

" How did you trust me that fast?' she whispered. The bird seemed to wink at her, chirping out a tune like Beethoven's it seemed, gentle and cheerful.

Maybe she wasn't a hopeless little birdie after all. 

**_During the following months, Allied Forces, discovered numerous POW, concentration and death camps. These camps were part of the Nazi attempt to effect the 'Final Solution' to the 'Jewish Question'._ **

**_Between 1942 and 1945 five million ethnic minorities and six million Jews were murdered - many of them in the camps._ **


	28. the eagles' nest

" There is always a glimmer in those who have been through the dark."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Bavaria had to be one of the most beautiful places that Hazel had ever been too, its mountains with their snow covered peaks, the bright sunshine shining brightly down on top of the trees, from the blue sky, the air sweet and warm, with a slight mountain breeze blowing in every so often.

Over the past few days as April faded into May, Hazel had felt herself slowly coming out of the slump that Landsberg had seemed to throw her into. She smiled more, she laughed more, she was just significantly happier.

Hazel noticed that Joe came out of the slump as well, the both of them really. Hazel had noticed that Joe had been really upset about the entire thing for a few days, but Hazel was too and she couldn't blame him, no one could.

The emotions connected to the day at the camp would be carried around with every soldier currently here.

So there Hazel sat, on the ground next to Joe, the raybands covering her eyes from the sun, as she sat criss cross applesauce, looking at the smooth pebble that was in her hands. She had picked it up a few days back, brought it all the way from Thalem, she still had it. Just a tiny little pebble. They were currently awaiting passage or word from Division on whether or not the engineers were coming to blow through the wall that blocked their trek up to Berchtesgaden.

She had heard about Hitler's death but knew there was still a war to fight, to battle through, to finish for once and for all.

Hazel watched curiously from her spot as Chuck with his Bazooka in hand and Christenson walked towards the rock that had been purposely placed there to block them from going through. Hazel gently leaned her hand against her bent hand and watched curiously.

Chuck set up his Bazooka before cracking off a shot forward from the weapon. It hit the front of the rock mass, spitting up dust and dirt and debris, but barely making a dent, the sounds of a few birds squawking and flying away was the only real reaction. Catherine was watching from where she stood beside Nixon, her helmet shading her eyes from the sun. She smirked watching Chuck go along with his grandiose plan.

" When are we expecting the engineers to arrive?" Dick asked, out loud, laying back and seemingly sunning himself. 

" Half an hour ago." Nixon muttered, annoyed.

" We're stuck here until they do, Nix." Dick said, and Catherine smirked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

" Well, if you're the SS you're not gonna let us Waltz into Hitler's house." Nixon said and Catherine snickered, " Probably throw a few rocks at us yourself."

" If you're looking for someone to find another way up that mountain, Easy Company is ready and willing." a voice said and Catherine looked up to see Speirs heading toward the two, with a proud, determined smile upon his features. 

" Duly noted. I already recommended you to Colonel Sink." Dick said.

" Terrific," Speirs said, with a smirk, " let's go find out where Hitler lived." Then he began to walk off, and Catherine had to laugh.

" Ron, we're not sure what's up there." Dick said stopping him, " The Colonel doesn't want us taking any unnecessary risks."

" So the French are gonna beat us tot he Eagle's Nest?" Speirs asked, a bit disappointed. Just at that moment a jeep was heard, and Catherine turned her head, before stepping back with Speirs to the side. It was Colonel Sink. They all saluted, as Colonel Sink took a drag. Malarkey and Webster were stashing grenades near the base of the mountain for when Chuck would try again. Catherine smirked before looking back at Sink.

" Lady, and Gents, I just had a conversation with General LeClerc." Sink said, " He told me he was first into Paris and, by God, he wanted to be first into Berchtesgaden." At that moment Chuck shot the Bazooka again, and it was fairly the same result.

" I told him I understood his point." Sink said, as Catherine raised a brow, " Now you fire up 2nd Battalion and outflank that French son of a bitch." Catherine smirked at him.

" Yes, sir." Dick said, as the jeep started up. They all saluted, as Catherine glanced towards Speirs next to her with a smirk his way. Then the jeep pulled back and away as Speirs and her stepped forward.

" I want Easy Company in the lead. Have the men assemble down on the Autobahn." Dick told Speirs as Catherine smirked.

" Yes, sir." Speirs answered a smile in his voice.

" Go tell them to pack up, Cath." Dick told her.

" Yes, sir." she said with a mock salute before turning and jogging towards where Easy Company currently was situated.

" Hey Easy!" Catherine called as she approached receiving head turns from various groups that were around.

" We're packing up and moving through to Berchtesgaden!" she called with a smile. A smile lit up Hazel's face as she looked to Joe who was smirking proudly.

" Finally." he muttered as he stood helping the girl up at the same time. Hazel smiled wide, pocketing the pebble. 

" Only took half an hour." she said. Joe smirked at her. Helping her to her feet, Hazel sighed and looked at the tiny pebble.

" You still carrying that thing around?" Joe asked her as they climbed up into the truck bed.

" Yes, of course, Joseph, I'm not a fool," she said as she slid in beside him, staring at the little pebble. Joe just smirked, shaking his head.

Too damn pure, he told himself.

Easy Company eventually arrived at the town of Berchtesgaden.

To Hazel, even though slightly eerie, with no people around and a distant dog barking off in the distance, she still found beauty in everything, or at least tried her best. She walked just a little bit behind Shifty, as her helmet shifted around on her head, her wide eyes taking in the entire street.

White flags hung from balconies, as dust and debris floated down the street as wind picked them up. There was a shutter creaking ahead. It seemed that the Germans that had lived here had just upped and left all in one, leaving behind everything. Hazel suspected that a few people had to still be here, she saw a few doors close, or the drapes fall down in front of a window.

Hazel kept a steady pace but her eyes were constantly moving back and forth as the scored the entire town. She could see mountains in the background everywhere she looked, they were beautiful. But papers littered the ground where they walked. Hazel was quick to stoop down and pick one up. It looked like the front of a German newspaper it seemed, all in German with a picture of Hitler on the front.

Hazel frowned, before tossing the paper again to the ground. She didn't want to even have to look at that man.

The homes were like something out of a fairytale town, with their stooped peaks, and colorful panelings, and all the little windows and dips and framework that seemed to be cast around each window, with squeaky shutters. Hazel glanced over as Nixon, Winters and Welsh drove up in their jeep towards a building, Berchtesgadener Hof.

It had Nazi flags up on either side. Hazel stopped to look up at the building, staring at the flag and the symbol of the Nazi Party. She narrowed her eyes. If it was true that there wasn't a signal sign of any natives, than she was willing to walk right up and rip down the flag.

Hazel slowly shouldered her weapon and walked closer to the Nazi Flag. They had been the ones that had forced America to even send them to Europe. They had been the ones to do what they did to the men in the striped uniforms in Landsberg. They had been the ones that had brainwashed people so much that they followed Hitler into this.

Hazel couldn't take it.

She slowly approached the flag and reached her hands up, giving it a yank. It budged a bit, the flag rippling at the feeling of contact. Hazel gritted her teeth, and gave the flag another pull. She heard a rip from above.

With one more, rather angry yank, the flag gave way, and came right down, falling and eventually touching the ground as it did so. Hazel stared at the flag on the ground, the one that had caused so much fear and terror to be riled up in everyone's mind. She turned and left the flag there on the ground before doing the same with the other flag, proudly.

Catherine walked in slowly to the Berchtesgadener Hof behind Speirs, her eyes taking in the sights with large eyes. Lizzie was right beside her, eyes wide in curiosity.

" And to think that as we were freezing our asses off, that lunatic was here." Lizzie grumbled beside Catherine. Catherine snickered.

" Well it's ours now. He's dead and we're knocking on the doorstep." Catherine said in awe of the place. When the two women turned the corner, Dick and Harry were working through some silverware already and Speirs was already pulling stuff from the shelves. There would be plenty of time to loot.

" Major Winters, sir." Catherine heard More say as her and Lizzie walked in. 

" More." Dick said looking up.

" Permission to climb the mountain, sir?" More asked, " The Eagle's Nest?" 

" What is this?" Harry asked as Catherine stepped forward and looked at the thing in Harry's hand.

" Where you place a knife, if you put it through butter." Catherine said with a smirk as he raised his brow at her. She nodded.

" Wait one minute." Dick told More, as More sighed and Lizzie came up curiously to his side, hoping for passage up to at least explore. They were in Berchtesgaden where Hitler had once stood. 

" Harry, have F Company put a double guard on the hotel. Set up roadblocks on the west side of town. I want Battalion HQ to seal off the north side and prepare for prisoners." Dick told him.

" Sergeant Grant." Harry called turning and heading out to look for Chuck. 

" And Harry?" Dick called, " Nobody gets hurt, not now." Harry looked at him. Suddenly there was a clicking sound and the group looked over to see Speirs standing where the Nazi banner fell.

" And Easy?" he asked, turning to look at the group. 

" Easy'll head up the mountain through the Obersalzberg and take the Eagle's Nest." Dick said as a smirk dawned on Catherine's face and Lizzie smiled widely. Dick turned to look back to where Lizzie, Catherine and More stood. He nodded, as the 3 saluted in time with smiles upon their faces.

" Hi-ho Silver!" Catherine dashed up the side of the mountain with Chuck, Malarkey, More, Lizzie and Popeye and Speirs following a bit behind, the largest smile on her face. The group let out excited whoops as they pushed up the trail to the mountain top as if it were Currahee. Nothing would ever compare.

The feeling was indescribable. She remembers running along the river back in Camp Athene, the pain she felt with the sore muscles the following day. Now, running up to the Eagle's Nest without a care in the world was the only thing on her mind, as her feet propelled her forward faster and faster as her heart raced and a smile fell on her features. 

She heard whooping, shouts of Currahee and yells from the trucks below that were moving the rest of the guys and Hazel. Catherine glanced over her shoulder to look down at the group. She could see people like Joe, Hazel, Tab, Christenson and Skinny, with wide smiles of pride and Joe on their faces as they cheered them on.

" Currahee!" Catherine yelled and looked up ahead only to see the boys calling out to the group below through bear hugs and raising their weapons in the air. Catherine smirked as she dashed forward and felt arms wrap around her and smiled when she pulled back and looked up at Chuck, grinning. A laugh left her lips as Malarkey wrapped his arms around her waist as she snickered.

The atmosphere was light and everyone was so happy. it was a relief to finally experience an ounce of happiness again. Lizzie was giggling as Malarkey picked her up in a hug and twirled her around, before poking her shoulder and racing off again. The rest of the way up felt like a breeze. Lizzie picked up a lot of flowers along the side of the road, and with each turn came an even more beautiful view of Germany, even when you thought it couldn't get any better. 

When they finally arrived at the Eagle's Nest, Catherine was the one that pushed open the door and stepped in first, Speirs came after her with his pistol drawn out in front of him. The group slowly followed him inside and down the hallway. It was slightly eerie and quiet, but you could tell that at some point there were people here, the enemy, as they laughed and drank schnapps and toasted on the celebration of another victory.

That was all gone now, as Americans stepped into the grand room.

Chuck and Malarkey had pushed open the doors, as More held up his weapon. Speirs was relaxed with his drawn pistol in his hands. The group looked around and at each other a bit before slowly stepping inside. Catherine slowly walked past Chuck as Speirs walked down the staircase and into the grand room. Lizzie glanced at Malarkey who raised his brows in surprise at how big it all was, the fact something like this was up here.

There was a creepy looking fireplace, with large windows out to a balcony, and seating with tables and couches everywhere. There was a large staircase that disappeared of what Catherine was assume to the upstairs. Speirs pointed and sent Malarkey on a check upstairs as he walked forward.

Catherine's eyes were wide as she slowly approached a table and felt the soft fabric of the table cloth.

It was all so oddly grand.

She glanced towards Speirs who approached a window and seemed to smirk before turning and stopping. Catherine raised a brow. Speirs walked over to a table, but that's when Catherine's eyes spotted the drink in More's hands. She immediately put her hand out after he took a sip. She gleefully suck down a bit of the drink and sighed to herself as the wonderful taste that filled her mouth.

Boy did she hope there was more where that came from.

Speirs had found a dead German officer body where he had shot himself in the head. Suddenly there was a loud cork pop and Catherine saw Speirs jump. She smirked. Catherine looked at Malarkey as liquid flooded from the bottle. Malarkey walked to Speirs' side and raised the bottle.

" Here's to him." Malarkey said before drinking it down. Catherine laughed. She flopped herself down onto one of the couches with the bottle of fine wine and tipped back the bottle, sipping it. 

" Ahhh, finest wine in the land." she said to herself as she felt she was in complete bliss. She leaned back with a smile, before sipping yet again on the wine.

It tasted like victory.

Hazel and a later group had finally made it up to the Eagle's Nest. When Hazel stepped inside, her eyes widened to the size of balloons. It was so vast, so mighty, yet its owner was dead. When Hazel entered the first person she saw was Catherine who was basically drunk. She was talking to no one her words slurred, eyes half open, and a bottle of wine sloshing around as she bounced her foot up and down off the couch.

" Hazel." Catherine called, " Is that you?" Hazel laughed.

" It's me. Are you drunk?" Hazel asked with a smirk.

" Drunk?" Catherine asked as she struggled to stand up, " I'm just getting started." Hazel watched as the drunk woman opened up a new bottle and began sucking it down. 

" Hell yeah!" she cried as she raised the bottle into the air and trekked upstairs like a 5 year old. Hazel glanced around, the entire area was almost like it wasn't real. She glanced curiously over towards the windows.

And when she glanced out of the window her eyes widened. They were so high up, above everyone else, above where they had been. She'd be closer to seeing the stars even. Hazel quickly turned and walked over to the door and opened it up and stepped outside. Her eyes widened. It was beautiful. No one else was out here yet, so she ran down a bit and leaned up against the concrete railing with wide eyes.

It was breathtaking.

The fresh mountain air that blew in smelled sweet like flowers, when you first would open a window in the morning. The sky was bright with the sun shining down brightly, and the slight breeze that blew was slightly cooler. The mountains were snow-capped and she could see where it faded into greenery again.

" Hazel!" Hazel turned her head and saw Shifty coming over to her a smile on his face. 

" Shifty!" Hazel called and she turned and hurried over to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. He hugged her back before pulling back and looking over at the view.

" Wow." he said as he slowly walked to the edge. Hazel smiled as she stood beside him. 

" It's beautiful, really." Hazel said as she pointed, " Look at the mountain tops."

" You never see mountains like this back home in Virginia." Shifty said, " At least in the Appalachian Mountains." 

" I've only seen them in books. I can't believe we're in the Alps." Hazel said.

" You think the war's over?" Shifty asked, looking towards her, " We have the Eagle's Nest." Hazel smiled.

" I hope so," Hazel said, a small smirk on her face as she leaned close to Shifty, " I mean we have the Eagle's Nest and no one else does." Shifty snickered beside her.

" Maybe we'll be able to go home soon then," Shifty said as he leaned against the edge and looked out again, " I mean, we captured this, what else would we need to do to signal the end of war?" Hazel smiled. 

" What will you do when you get home?" Shifty asked her, his expression suddenly a bit more serious and not as playful as it had been. Hazel bit her lip.

" Try and live my life, get a college degree, marry, have kids, try to lead a semi-normal life." she said. They would all have the war in the back of their brains for a long time and they knew it wouldn't fade. 

" It's just a lot you know, all this war. All the violence, all the pain, I mean you can't explain that to anybody who hasn't seen it." Shifty said looking at her. Hazel bit her lip and looked over at him. He was right, how were they expected to even begin to explain this war, and all its complex layers from the bottom to top.

No one would expect that from someone, no one should expect that from someone. All the men they lost to death and injury, who sacrificed their lives so they could be here now. You could never explain the bond you had with that person, you couldn't expect someone to.

" No one should expect you too, any of us." Hazel said as she leaned her head down on the concrete railing. 

" You're right," Shifty said doing the same. Hazel smiled.

" Hey, guys!" a voice called and Shifty and Hazel stood to look over to see Babe there with a bottle of schnapps in his hand. 

" You want some?" he called as he hurried over. Hazel watched as Shifty took a gleeful sip of it, before turning to Hazel. She wasn't 21 yet, that was in July.

" I'm not 21." Hazel said softly. It was just something she stuck by, she followed the rules and she couldn't help it. 

" Ah don't worry about it, July'll be the month when you finally can." Babe said and Hazel smiled as Shifty passed him back the bottle.

" They got more of that?" Shifty asked him. Babe nodded.

" And you should see the food they left behind." Babe said and Hazel's eyes widened.

" Food?" 

" Yep, come on." Babe said as the trio turned and went back inside before Babe led them up the tiny stairwell and down the hall. When they entered the room where platters of food were out and in ice blocks, Hazel's eyes widened. There were a few guys already around and eating the food without a care in the world. Hazel stepped forward to a cheese platter. When she ate, she had never felt happier to be eating food like that.

" This is so good." she mumbled, as she picked up another piece and gleefully ate it up.

The rest of the day was spent with people getting drunk, and officers trying to prevent it because there was still a war on, not even the medics could do much to stop it all.

And nearly everyone was a mess, but who wouldn't be?

They were finally in Germany, in Hitler's summer home, in a place where he had once walked, now dead and gone to the world, with this left behind as a firm reminder.


	29. ve day

" Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated."

_\- Osho_

✰✰✰

The next morning, there was no real schedule to what was currently happening, just soldiers wandering around Berchtesgaden, searching for more wine and beer, hungover, scrounging for food, or pleading to the medics for pain meds. They wandered through the town or they'd head up to the Eagle's Nest and pass out in an upstairs bed with a bottle of gin in their hand. It was quite the sight. Lizzie by that morning had administered more medicine for headaches than she ever had. She glanced at Gene as a replacement finally walked out with water and the pain meds.

" Don't be getting drunk on me too." she said pointing at Gene with a raised brow.

" Don't worry, I won't have time with all these guys coming in." Gene said with a smirk, as he hauled up another box and pulled out more pain meds.

_What a coincidence._

" Oh thank God." the two heard a voice say and they looked over to see Catherine coming in, holding a hand to her head. Lizzie slowly stepped past the box she had and met Catherine.

" You ok, Cath?" Lizzie asked her.

" I have the worst hangover, Lizzie, and guess what sorta bullshit I went through when I woke up? My period came back." Catherine said. Lizzie raised a brow and then glanced at Gene who had been listening. 

" Oh, hey, sorry Gene." Catherine said before putting her hands in her face.

" I'm so miserable." Catherine sighed. 

" Well, this is why when we drink, there's something called doing it responsibly." Lizzie offered, wrapping an arm over Catherine's shoulder and leading her to a bed.

" I know, but Lizzie....." Catherine sighed.

" I know but Lizzie what?" Lizzie asked as she dug in for pain meds.

" It tasted good." Catherine sighed. Lizzie raised a brow. 

" Right, well take some of these now, and start drinking water, you're dehydrated." Lizzie said as Catherine took them.

" And still slightly drunk." Gene offered as he walked up with a glass of water. Catherine sighed.

" Alright, you two, give me the pep talk." Catherine said. Lizzie glanced at Gene.

" I think we've both already done that." Lizzie offered. Catherine sighed. 

" Right, back at-"

" Aldbourne, correct." Lizzie said.

" Damn you medics." Catherine grumbled, as she rubbed her aching head. Lizzie and Gene laughed. 

" Go get some rest, half the guys came in tipsy in all sorts." Lizzie said.

" You're right." Catherine said, " I mean I'm a fucking Lieutenant. I need to get some sense of self worth." The two medics smirked.

" And Vest said he had a letter for you." Lizzie said. Catherine froze and looked at her.

" From who?" Catherine asked quickly.

" Bill and Joe." Gene said with a smile. Catherine's eyes widened.

" Where? Where is it?" Catherine asked urgently.

" Vest has it, he thought you'd be here, but you weren't." Gene said.

" Well, where's Vest?' Catherine asked.

" CP probably," Lizzie offered.

" Right," Catherine said, " oh and you see Peacock?"

" No," Gene offered, " but he probably didn't get drunk." Catherine smirked at him.

" Shut it, Gene." she said before turning and heading out into the streets. When she arrived at CP and had forced the letter from Vest's hands she slowly slid down the wall outside the CP and opened the letter.

_Catherine,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, where ever you happen to be. Joe and I have been thinking about you lately, as well as Lizzie and Hazel and the rest of the guys. We've been hoping everyone's ok, we've heard a few things, but by now, word has it that those Krauts are almost all pushed out and done for. Joe and I are hoping that's the truth. We've both been worried, but what else can you expect from two guys that trained with a group for almost 3 years, am I right?_

_The hospitals have been nice, the nurses have been great, especially for guys like me and Joe, but it's just not the same as being with Easy. You know I woke up on day to expect Doc Roe or Doc Elliot coming to me and checking on my leg. It's weird. You stay with these guys for so long, that when you're taken away from them you start seeing things._

_I've been glad that Joe's been with me this whole time. We've been supporting each other a lot, making sure we eat, get up in the morning, get moving a bit, try to read the paper and get some war updates. Lot of stuff like that. We actually met one of the women that were apart of Operation Virago. She was part of the 82nd Airborne Division, and she was there with another woman. Her name's Carol LaFayette, she was a Sergeant, but she took a hit in the Rhur Pocket. She said she's most likely being sent home. She jumped into Normandy just like us with another woman, Veronica Weber, who worked as a radioman. We told her that we had 3 women with us as well, and she remembered you three so distinctly. She raved about you 3; you're a special group._

_We talked a lot after that, but she was finally able to be sent back to America, and Joe and I are close to being sent back until the doctors feel we are ready enough for the trip over again. Joe and I both think we're ready, but you know those doctors, all I can think of are Gene and Lizzie, they were always on someone's case when they were sick, but that's what made them so good at their job._

_How've you been? Joe and I miss being able to talk with you all the time, it gets a little boring knowing all our friends are probably having more fun than we are right now. I hope you had a great birthday, I know this year we couldn't be there for it, but we know it must've been good with these boys. Tell Hazel and Lizzie that we hope our little girls are doing well, we know they weren't their happiest when we left. Stay safe out there, hopefully when this is all over we can all hang out like old times without a war up our rear ends._

_Love,_

_Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye_

_PS Hey Mack, it's Joe Toye, Bill says ' Joe and I ' too many times throughout, I was over his shoulder as he wrote, just so you know. He hogged the only paper we could get our hands on. Stay safe out there and tell everyone we said hi._

Catherine looked up from the letter, and blew out her cheeks. She missed both Bill and Joe horribly and she just wished that they could've made it this far to where they were now, to get a chance to experience this, the beauty, the hopeful end of the war that was looming just around the corner, the chance to drink Hitler's wine. All of it. And they didn't know about the injury that had almost taken Hazel's life. Catherine sighed. She slowly folded up the letter, and stuck it into her breast pocket with a quiet sigh.

" Cath." a voice called and Catherine looked over to see it was Peacock coming toward her.

" Hey, Tom," she said as he came towards her.

" Here," he said and she took his hand to stand up, " someone said you needed me."  
" Right," Catherine said, attempting to clear her head from the letter which had riled up a whole new set of emotions she was hoping to pack away for a bit, " I have to do a report, geography of the land and stuff, Winters told me Sink wants it, do you have the reports of who was where at their posts?" 

" Yeah, 'course, they're up in the officers post." Peacock said looking at her.

" Think you could run up and grab those for me?" Catherine asked him, the report would get her mind off the letter and the swirl of sadness that happened to be associated with it. But she had never been happier, deep down inside, to be able to hear from Bill and Joe, she missed them so much.

On May 7th, the air was warm and the sky was so bright, it had been so beautiful the past few days. Hazel had been crouched against a little flower garden beside the main street of Berchtesgaden, picking through where there was a few pieces of garbage and a few dead flowers. Her hair was hanging in her face from how long it was, even in the messy bun she wore.

Then she heard footsteps, racing down the street. When she glanced over, she saw it was Talbert, with wide eyes. Hazel slowly stood up, slightly confused as he raced past her, and straight into the building where the rest of the NCOs and some of the Lieutenants were currently staying. Hazel quirked a brow up. She sighed and went back to tending to the little garden that had been neglected since the Germans had left.

" Yahoo!" a voice yelled suddenly, making Hazel jump as she turned and watched people spill out from the nearby building, shouting and yelling and jumping up and down, hugging and high-fiving people.

What was going on?

That's when Johnny spotted her.

" Hazel!" he called as he ran over, " It's over!" Hazel froze her eyes wide as she stared at him. What was he talking about?

" It's over! It's over, the war, all of it, the Germans surrendered!" Johnny yelled as he reached her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She stared at him.

This couldn't be real, standing in the middle of Berchtesgaden being told by Johnny the war was over.

" It's over?" Hazel asked softly. Johnny nodded. She didn't hesitate to hug Johnny right then and there, her eyes wide with shock. It had been so many years, since 1939, that they'd been fighting; they'd been training since 1942, long and tiresome training filled with strain and uncertainty. They dropped behind enemy lines on June 6th,1944 with fear and adrenaline riled up in their systems, ready to fight in a war they virtually knew nothing about. Now they were veterans, torn up by war and dragged around in death's grasp to lay barely alive, barely human. But they'd made it.

That's when Hazel broke down in Johnny's arms, putting her hand over her eyes as she began crying on his shoulder. Johnny held her tighter and gently rubbed her back as cries, painful, yet relief filled cries bubbled past her mouth in choking gasps.

" Hazel!" a voice yelled and Hazel pulled from Johnny's arms to see Catherine coming toward her, looking overwhelmed and worried. 

" What's wrong?" Catherine asked arriving at her side looking between her and Johnny.

" It's over, Cath." Johnny whispered. Catherine stared at him, her eyes trained on both of them.

" The war?" she whispered softly. 

" The war in Europe." Hazel whispered, as she smiled, but another cry escaped her lips. She was too happy and too overwhelmed. Catherine stood there for a moment, staring at the ground. Hazel just turned to Catherine and walked up and hugged her, holding the woman close in her arms.

Catherine froze for a second, standing there with the tiny girl's arms around her, before she sunk into Hazel's arms, wrapping her arms around her and shutting her eyes, letting it suddenly all sink in. She teared up a bit even.

Neither of the girls that now held each other in their arms, would've ever expected to get to this point, to be standing here now with the news of the war they were fighting with the Nazis was over.

But Catherine's mind went to her brothers, out in the Pacific. They were alive, barely, they're letters short, barely turning the page anymore, but they were there; she knew that had to end soon as well. News started spreading like wildfire, through 2nd Battalion. There were hugs and cheers and celebrations and drunk festivities all day long, so long that many people forgot what food was.

Catherine had stumbled out of a building, sipping on her 3rd bottle of schnapps, drunk out of her mind, the bottle of liquid swishing around in her hand, as she stumbled through the darkened streets her eyes unfocused. Her eyes caught a figure coming towards her.

" George!" she called, throwing a hand up in the air to wave at the radioman. 

" Catherine!" George called from down the street, drunkly stumbling as he moved towards her.

Catherine tried to stop in front of him, but she tripped and fell into him, as he caught her and the two stumbled down onto the grass. Catherine let out a drunk sigh leaning against George's chest.

" I am a mess, George." she said, and then laughed as she laid her head on top of his chest.

" Yes, you are." he said and then drunkly laughed, resulting in the two of them laughing together. 

" How about I get you settled in your room?" George asked her. Catherine gently lifted her head and pouted at him.

" But then I can't get more schnapps." she complained staring at him with sad eyes. George smirked.

" I'll find a way to get that for you, but you look like you need to rest." George said just a bit more sober than she currently was. Catherine grinned like a child and nodded.

" Here, c'mon." George said sitting up to get to his feet and help the drunk Lieutenant to her feet. Catherine gently grasped his arm with her one hand and walked with the bottle of schnapps sloshing around in her other hand. She slumped over, a pout on her face.

" Why you slumped over like that?" George asked her and she could just hear the smirk playing on his face. Catherine pouted. 

" I'm sad." she whined out.

" Why are you sad?" George asked her. 

" 'Cause some radioman isn't allowing me to finish my drink." she said and looked up at him with shining eyes. She heard George chuckle as she stumbled over her two feet.

" Let's get you upstairs," he said, as George carefully led her upstairs and to her room where all the other Lieutenants had rooms. 

" Where's yours?"

" Here," Catherine said pointing to the door that was on the right, closest to the staircase. George helped her open the door as she stumbled inside. George gently closed the door behind him and turned watching as Catherine took another sip of the schnapps in her hand.

" Hey, hey, no more," George said coming closer, and pulling the bottle from her hands.

" What? No! George....." Catherine said pouting as she went to reach for it and George pulled it back and out of her grasp. Catherine looked at him with a pout on her face. 

" Just one more sip." she pleaded to him. George smirked at her, a soft smirk on his yet to fully be drunk lips.

" No," he said shaking his head, a few inches from her face. Catherine pouted again as she went to reach for it, but George turned and placed it on the nearby table. 

" Aw, George." whined Catherine as George turned back to her.

" I promise, it's for your own good," he said watching as she smirked.

" You just don't want me to drink anymore." she said as if she were sneaky. George smirked at her.

" Yeah, that's exactly why." he said and Catherine leaned closer to him, biting back her lip.

" Give me the bottle, George." she said as George's eyes went to her lips.

" No," George said as the smirk grew on his face, his eyes glinting. 

" What happens if I do get it then?" she asked, staring up at him. George stared at her, stared at Catherine and those big eyes watching him, with a playful motive in them, as she stared at George.

Catherine's smirk slowly fell as George grew quiet.

She didn't even realize George's hand had slowly cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing against her cheek, making her heart beat faster and faster with each pump. And suddenly her face was hot, and she felt herself melting into him.

" You're heart's racing," George whispered as Catherine drew closer. 

" You're making it race." Catherine whispered as her eyes went to his lips.

Catherine was suddenly more sober than a judge, the drunkness that had filled her brain, gone. She met his eyes, that were longing to look into hers. His eyes were so warm, they were so bright, they were so beautiful. Catherine nearly felt her heart pounding within her throat, louder and louder. her eyes were on his lips again, which remained slightly parted, gently.

Catherine then sucked in a breath and slowly closed the tense gap between them and pressed her lips to George's.

But she had surprised even herself and pulled back, watching him, as if shocked. She watched him, the two watching each other, surprised that her lips had so softly touched his.

But then George's lips hungrily, pressed back on hers, as he pulled her as close as he possibly could to his body. Her lips tasted like schnapps, and they were warm. Catherine's hands only took a few moments to push up into his fluffy hair as she wrapped her arms further around his neck, pulling him closer. For a brief moment his lips pulled back a mere centimetre from her own.

" Lieutenant...." George whispered, his voice raspy. 

" Just kiss me." she whispered and George didn't hesitate to press his lips back against hers, holding her close and never wanting to let go.


	30. the wish for happiness

" Sometimes you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

" He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way...." Lizzie sang, her voice slightly slurred, maybe a bit drunk even, as a bottle of white wine sloshed in her hand, a smile on her glowing face.

" He had a boogie style that no one else could play...." Tab sang beside her, a beer in his own hand as they drunkly stood upon the bar table, just as if they were dumb and dumber.

" He was the top man at his craft," Lizzie sang," But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft."

" He's in the army now. he's blowin' reveille-" Tab sang and then pointed at Lizzie.

" He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B!" the two sang together, raising their drinks in the air as the song continued playing and people laughed hysterically watching the duo perform their little dance. Hazel sat in the corner, giggling to herself as she watched the two. 

" Man they are whipped," Babe said as Malarkey laughed beside him, sipping his drink. It was nice to see Don happy again, a bit happier than he had been.

" You want a sip of this, Hazel?" Don offered Hazel. Hazel made a face at the drink.

" It doesn't smell too nice," she said as Don smiled.

" It's fine, don't worry about it, it is kinda nasty," Don said and Hazel giggled. 

" A root, a toot, a toodlie-a-da-toot-"

" No! No! _NO_! Elizabeth you're doing it wrong!" Tab complained like a child.

" Then what is it." pouted Lizzie, before taking a small sip from her bottle.

" A root, a toot, a toodlie-a-da-toot."

" You just did the same thing!" said Lizzie and Hazel laughed. 

" Just keep singing!" Babe called back to them. Hazel laughed, slowly leaning back in her chair with a small sigh as the duo started their best at performing again.

" Bull, I'd never seen Hashey so shitfaced." Hazel heard Johnny say as him and Bull took seats around the table with beers, just not as drunk as the duo on the bar were. 

" What do you mean?" Babe asked leaning forward.

" Pretty sure he's swinging around a poll outside, singing to no one." Johnny answered as the group broke into laughs. Hazel snickered quietly to herself.

" What's he singing?" Malarkey asked.

" I don't know, some Doris Day song, but you'd give him a run for his money any day of the week." Bull said and Hazel laughed. Then there were gently clasped around her neck, in a gentle manner. 

" Guess who?" he asked her.

Joe Liebgott. She figured.

" The dofus with a Hershey bar obsession." Malarkey called after sipping his beer as Johnny let out a snort. 

" No idiot, that's not an obsession." Joe said as Hazel turned to smirk up at him with a smile.

" What's is called then, Joe?" Babe asked. Joe chuckled.

" A strong love, for chocolate." Joe answered simply, before the table burst into laughter.

" Your all just jealous that I happen to love chocolate that much." he concluded as Hazel laughed shaking her head as she watched him. 

" Have a seat, bud," Johnny said shifting over a seat so Joe could sit beside Hazel.

" Thanks," Joe said, " just got down from a run to that wine cellar, sure is a beauty."

" You've been?" Babe asked.

" Oh hell yeah, I can sneak in about any place you want." Joe said, only to reveal a few more beers under his coat, in the little pockets that were stitched inside, for usually holding extra chocolate bars. 

" Holy shit," Bull said sitting up and holding a hand out. Joe gave him a look.

" You wouldn't give a Sergeant that look, now would ya boy?" Bull said and Joe forked over the beer bottle. Hazel watched him with a small smirk. 

" I'm surprised you didn't drag Hazel with you," Johnny said and Joe laughed.

" Figured I'd save her the trouble," Joe said sitting back, before he in fact pulled a chocolate bar from his pocket and gently placed it in her hand with a wink, " so that I could give her chocolate." 

" How precious." Malarkey said before he and Babe laughed together. Hazel giggled as Joe rolled his eyes.

" Ooooh, Joe being sentimental, yeah real fucking funny guys," Joe said with narrowed eyes.

" We're just kidding," Babe said as Joe just smirked shaking his head.

" Hey, can we bring it in for a toast?" Bull asked the group as everyone looked his way. Bull slowly raised his glass up and cleared his throat.

" For being here, being in this company," Bull said with a gracious smile as Hazel watched with soft eyes, " I know we're supposed to celebrate, but I also wanna thank the fellows who risked their lives for us to be here, waged their last battle in Bastogne, or Holland or Normandy, lost limbs for us." Hazel watched with eyes that shone brightly, feeling her heart think of each of those men.

" Currahee." Bull said gently, raising his glass a bit more. 

" Currahee!!" the group fo men called as they clinked their glasses together.

Hazel whispered a soft Currahee to herself, wishing the men who weren't here could be.

But in the end, it was VE Day - the war in Europe was over. All the horror was finally over.

For the moment.

Hazel looked towards Joe beside her, with a soft look in her eyes, as he met her own gaze. This horrible war and he still wore a smile of gold upon his lips, after breaking down, being so mentally and emotionally destroyed, and he still smiled at her as if she were the stars themselves.

Seeing Joe really break had upset her so much, she hoped she'd never see Joe break like that again, her heart had broken. But seeing him here, looking so happy, so bright, so free, so much like the Joe Liebgott that had walked into her life back in September 1943. She wanted him to be happy, that's all she wanted for him right now and now for every man and woman in Easy - they all deserved it.

With just one look from Joe, it signified in her heart that all she wanted for him was pure happiness.

Hazel retreated to bed that night, leaving the merrily drunk paratroopers behind for the comfort of her bed where 2nd platoon currently was staying.

Hazel walked through the streets of Berchtesgaden, gazing around at the homes, before her eyes made its way up towards the Eagles' Nest were she knew, herself, where Hitler had once stood, looking down on the town below, thinking he would soon rule all of Europe and then the world. Boy was he wrong. Hazel stared at the mountain top retreat for a moment longer, before a warm breeze hit her, and the crickets played their silent tune in the nearby bushes, bringing some comfort of home to Hazel.

Hazel pushed open the door to 2nd platoon and carefully walked through the building, which smelled like wood and oak, a good wood like cabin scent. Upon entering the room, she was glad to see that no one else was inside and she could hopefully get a few hours of rest. Changing into her PT gear, she became slightly chilled and let herself down easy onto the bed. She stared out at the stars that night, through the window, watching the moon look down upon the cheerful group of men, watching as they finally celebrated peace and happiness and joy.

It was a nice turn around, one which was very much needed in this world.

Before Catherine even opened her eyes all she felt was a soft warmth encasing her entire being, cuddled in blankets and pillows, a faint light coming in through the open window, the soft sound of voices outside on the streets trickling in, a few birds tweeting.

Was she home?

Had it all been a dream?

Catherine slowly blinked her eyes open and realized there was the ceiling above her.

 _Nope_.

Still in Berchtesgaden.

Catherine groaned a bit, as she pushed herself up from the bed and then sighed softly, eyes looking towards the brightly lit window.

A lazy smile appeared on her face, as she ran a hand through her hair, a dull aching slowly forming around her head. Catherine softly sighed and then looked down at the comforter.

Whose shirt was this?

On her being, her person?

A size bigger than what she normally wore, and oh-so-warm?

Catherine softly brought her hand forward to touch it. It was warm. Catherine slowly grasped the fabric and brought the fabric to her nose. It smelled so good. Like home in a way, a home away from home, like a soft cleaner that you used when doing the wash, and maybe a dash of cologne.

Okay, who's shirt was this?

The fabric of the shirt in her hand slowly dropped from her grasp as an overwhelming feeling suddenly entered her entire system.

She knew who's shirt this was, she knew that scent.

Catherine gulped and then slowly looked over and towards her right. And on her right, under the covers beside her was George Luz, lying shirtless, the dog tags loose around his neck, facing her, sound asleep, soft snores escaping his lips, with his hair looking rather messy, yet still adorable.

ADORABLE?

Did the word really just enter her brain?

Catherine slowly lowered her head down a bit, peering closer towards his innocent, sleeping face, watching him with curious eyes. George Luz was in bed next to her - _and he was shirtless_ \- and better yet his shirt was now on her body. Catherine watched him, as the soft bird twittering came in through the window, and Catherine's eyes couldn't move from his face. Catherine looked at his hair.

Her fingers, her hands, had been in his hair, running through it continuously.

It had been so soft too. A softness, that brought back memories of her childhood bunny, Walter. His face looked so soft, and gentle and innocent, and his eyes were so gently shut, so much so that she got a good view of his long eyelashes which she had never failed to adore. He looked handsome, just lying there curled on his side so effortlessly. And Catherine's heart had never been racing as fast as it was as she watched him.

Then there was knocking, extremely loud knocking on the door, too loud for Catherine and for the sleeping George Luz.

" Cath!" a voice called.

 _Nixon_.

It was _Nixon_.

It was Lewis fucking _Nixon_.

Oh _no_.

Catherine's eyes widened as she prayed the door was locked and that her Intelligence Officer would not see her beside their radioman in bed, wearing his _SHIRT_!

Catherine's heart dropped as she began to see George shifting himself awake beside her, blinking his eyes a few times before focusing on Catherine. The two watched each other, just as confused as the other, and Catherine didn't hesitate to launch forward into his lap, slapping her hand clamped over his mouth, their eyes watching one another, breathing heavily.

_Holy fucking shit._

" Yeah!?" she called back, as she maintained eye contact with George, who was still staring at her in utter shock. She shook her head.

_Please, please don't say a word George, spare me my life for a moment._

" You ready? We're moving out in an hour." Nixon called. Catherine's eyes widened.

Moving out?

_To WHERE!_

She still had to worry about the fact she woke up to a _shirtless God_ that happened to be George Luz, beside her in bed.

" Uh, what time is it?" she called back, her eyes not straying from George's still as he watched her.

" 1100."

_1100?!_

_The TIME!_

Her mind was in turmoil.

" Shit." Catherine muttered, before meeting George's eyes again which remained wide as golfballs. Great, he was just as confused. They were both confused, even though her heart was racing. 

" You okay? Need any help?" Nixon asked, " Can I come in?"

Can he come in?

_NO!_

He'll see George Luz!

 _Shirtless_ George Luz!!

_NO!_

" No!" Catherine called back frantically, " No, um, no, I'm uh, I'm naked."

Naked, seriously?

Catherine internally sighed to herself and briefly shut her eyes as she muttered out a curse, wishing she could go back to when it was just her staring at the peaceful George Luz.

" Naked?" scoffed Nixon, as Catherine watched the corner's of George's eyes shrug up in a laugh. She gave him a look, that tough look that immediately sent him holding back laughs.

" Yeah, I was just changing. Interesting timing I guess." Catherine said as her cheeks burned. George was laughing under her hand she could tell, if she saw his smirk, she'd then start laughing too.

" Interesting timing indeed," Nixon said and she heard him laughing.

_Screw him._

" Well, put on some clothes and we'll talk real quick then you can pack up." Nixon said.

" Um, okay, one sec." Catherine called back. Then Catherine looked at George. She slowly brought a hand back and pressed it to her lips, watching him.

" Stay quiet." she mouthed, sliding off of him to the floor. She slowly grasped his hand, standing him up, as they both tripped over the boots, the comforter falling off him to reveal the OD bottoms still on his legs, his feet unsocked.

_How dangerous._

Catherine kept a finger to her lips as George followed after her, smirking the entire time, eyes traveling the length of her body, which admittedly only had his shirt and undergarments.

Catherine glared at him, before he simply motioned a surrender with his one hand. Catherine led him into the bathroom, before putting a firm finger to her lips in quiet. George nodded, trying to hold back a smirk again.

Catherine just shut the door, softly, before moving back over to the door quickly, face heating warmer and warmer. Catherine cursed as she grabbed her PT shorts and pulled them on, tripping her feet in and out of the holes, before glancing in the mirror.

The shorts did nothing with the shirt, _HIS_ shirt, that she wore.

She sighed to herself, before hurrying over towards the door.

" If I survive, this'll be the day," she muttered before opening the door and smiling. Nixon was on the other side, smirking.

Catherine swore to God, he always wore that dumb smirk like it were the latest fashion trend.

" What?' she grumbled, her smiling dropping, eyes slack.

" Fun night?" he questioned and Catherine narrowed her eyes.

" How about rough night?" she muttered. Nixon raised a brow and then peaked behind her.

" Didn't know you had two different sizes of shoes." Nixon remarked, sipping from the tiny silver flask on his hip.

_Oh my god._

Catherine's eyes widened and she glanced over her shoulder, back towards where George's boots were beside hers.

Shit.

Why?

Why?

Why?

George and her had both tripped over his shoes, his boots, both of them, and she had been worried about shorts.

" Someone must've left their pair here, there were quite a few shoe-less guys out there." Catherine said. Nixon watched her with a suspicious raised brow it seemed.

He so knew.

He so knew that someone, _George Luz_ , was hiding in her bathroom. Catherine internally groaned.

" Right, well, finish packing up were moving out at 1200, towards Zell Am See, Austria." Nixon said holding out a map towards her. Catherine took it and glanced over it.

" Doesn't seem to far." she said handing back the map.

" Yeah, right over the border, not too bad." he said as he rolled up the map, " It'll be an hour or two ride, but it won't be bad." 

" Ok cool, I'm going to get ready now." Catherine said knowing she'd have to then face George.

What had exactly happened last night?

Drunk obviously.

But had they kissed?

Made-out?

They had to have kissed - she remembered the feeling of his lips on hers, the way he had held her so close, then watched her with those gentle brown eyes.

Yep, her heart was racing again, something had most definitely happened.

" You do that," Nixon said before stepping back with his hands in his pockets a smirk on his face. Catherine narrowed her eyes and watched him walk perfectly down the stairs. Even 4 drinks in and he was walking straight.

_Oh man, he SO knew._

Catherine sighed and turned and shut the door behind her watching as George stepped out of the bathroom. Catherine shyly, let the door shut before watching George approach her. He was watching her every move and she was watching his.

The two slowly stopped in front of one another, and Catherine tried her hardest to focus on his face and not the dog tags or his shirtless self. She softly met his gaze, crossing her arms shyly across her chest, suddenly nervous.

" What happened last night?" Catherine asked him, looking up towards his gently gaze, her heart hammering faster and faster.

That _look_. Why was he giving her that _look_?

" Were we drunk?" George asked a slight smile on his face. Catherine blushed.

" I'm asking you that," she whispered back and George smirked proudly.

" Drunk," he said," but you kissed me first." Holy shit she had kissed George. She had kissed George. Her entire body was frozen as she stared at him. 

" I...I kissed you?" she whispered. George's face peered closer to hers, inches from her own.

" And I liked it." George said and she felt her heart in her throat. Because she had liked it too.

" George-" she whispered, but the second her put a finger under her chin, titling it up to meet his gaze, her voice felt like it disappeared. That look.

" I didn't mean to just kiss you, George, I wasn't thinking, I just..." Catherine stopped. She had wanted to kiss him, she had just really wanted to kiss him. 

" I wanted to kiss you," she whispered. George softly watched her.

" I wanted to kiss you too," he said gently back, as a gentle bird tweet came from the window sill. Catherine's heart skyrocketed. 

" George..." she whispered, but before she could say anything again he had pressed his lips to hers again and her heart nearly exploded. Her hands went up to his hair, wrapping arm him, pulling him closer, as she felt the smirk in the kiss on her lips. It was warm and passionate and she had never felt safer encased in George's arms, here with him in the soft late-morning light, where the only sounds were the gentle chirp of the birds outside and the soft breeze through the window, hitting her bare legs.

Catherine and George slowly pulled back from each other, their lips inches from one another, eyes gently closed. Catherine had always thought George had pretty eyelashes. It was a soft quiet between the two, holding each other, just being there with one another.

" I wasn't lying when I said you were pretty, Lieutenant." George whispered against her lips. Catherine sucked in a breath, " I would never."


	31. austria

" What we see depends mainly on what we look for."

_\- John Lubbock_

✰✰✰

Easy Company loaded up into their trucks that early afternoon, to head off to Austria. Zell Am See, Austria. They were leaving Germany. And at the moment, for good. People weren't exactly excited, Berchtesgaden was absolutely beautiful and the sights were breathtaking, no one wanted to leave.

Hazel slowly climbed up into the truck bed, and headed down towards the truck head, where she could see Joe and Malarkey.

" Someone's not too happy to be leaving Germany." Joe said as she sat down beside him.

" It's beautiful here, who wouldn't?" she said as she adjusted her bag and then leaned back against the wood.

" Yeah, you're right, it's nice here." Joe said and leaned back beside her. Hazel pouted softly.

" Hey," Joe said, " at least you're stuck with me." Hazel met his eyes.

" Yay," she said before looking forward again. Joe smirked. Then she smirked.

" I'm just kidding," she whispered with a smile and Joe smirked.

" Yeah, I know," he said and Hazel giggled. 

" This better be the last time I get on one of these trucks to go to some other place," Chuck said sitting across from them.

" If they keep it up in the Pacific, may not Chuckles," Joe said and Chuck glared.

" Lieb I swear to God," Chuck grumbled and Joe just laughed.

" I better not hear Chuckles anymore, especially not in Austria." Chuck threatened and both Hazel and Joe laughed this time.

" Don't take your changes on that," Hazel said, " Chuckles." And Joe burst out laughing as Chuck groaned.

" Starting now," Chuck said as Joe and Hazel laughed harder. They began driving towards Austria and it passed rather quickly, as their destination was almost just right over the border. Many of the men had bad hangover from being drunk all night and drinking away while others were perfectly fine, having been more drunk than they had. But they had every right to. The war where they had lost so many and lost a part of themselves was finally over. They went through a few mountain passes before Hazel began to smell water, fresh clean water.

Hazel slowly turned her head, innocently poking it up and over the edge of the truck, eyes slowly widening. She slowly turned onto her knees on the bench. Her eyes widened further.

" Joe." she whispered, as Joe turned and knelled beside her on the bench, looking out.

Hazel's eyes grew soft with admiration and pure joy, and she couldn't help but wrap her arms sideways around Joe as the two looked out with bright eyes. Joe's arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer as the two were on their knees watching as a beautiful lake appeared in front of them all.

It was breathtaking.

All of it.

Hazel's eyes were wide and filled with adoration for the beautiful landscape, it seemed even more beautiful than that of Berchtesgaden's Alps.

Austria's Alps were vast, and full of nature, surrounding a huge lake. Hazel didn't know where to look as the golden sun shined down onto them in the late afternoon. She was so overwhelmed with all the beauty. She wanted to go out and swim in the fresh water, go hike the mountains to the top, go skip through the little town, lie under the stars in the warm night air. She wanted to do so much, she wanted to do all of it. She felt a breeze brush against them and brought back a hand from Joe's neck to brush a piece of hair behind her ear.

It was wondrous.

Lizzie was hanging out the end of the truck, holding tightly onto the pole, her arms wrapped around it loosely as she gazed out with large blue eyes, her blond hair flying out from behind her. The defeated German soldiers walked away from them in two lines along either side of the road.

But she looked overtop of them, at the lake, the mountains, the sky, the golden sunlight that sent shimmers across the lake. It was beautiful. Lizzie glanced towards the rest of the group and had to smile when she saw Shifty leaning out of the window, his eyes glistening. She smiled before looking back out at the sight of the Austrian town in the Alps.

Lizzie wished this image would stay in her mind forever, this feeling, the beauty of it all. She wanted forever to be like this. Lizzie watched the water sparkle, what she'd give to just take a jump into the water and see how refreshing that feels. The mountains were huge, and vast with snow capped tops, she wondered how it would be to hike up there and see all where they were from that sort of view. She knew it was probably beautiful. She hadn't felt this free in such a long time that she forgot that this is what it is like.

The war was over, and it was glorious. The trucks started pulling into spots, one after another as man after man jumped down and out of the truck to the ground. Lizzie felt her feet his Austrian ground and looked around, inhaling the fresh air that swept around the place.

It was truly beautiful.

Gene eventually found her through all the people, and they started setting up the aid station, which was to be in a rather large house, set towards an overlook of the lake. It was beautiful. Lizzie gently placed down her box and then slowly walked to the balcony that was outside that overlooked the lake and the mountains.

" This is beautiful." Lizzie said, looking around at the beauty of it all. Gene arrived next to her, removing his helmet and running a hand through his hair.

" Sure is." he said and leaned against the railing. It was all amazing really. Going through all that hell to finally then be in a place like this. And seeing Gene smile, there was a relief that settled onto her shoulders that she needed just to see that.

Lizzie was beginning to believe it had all been worth it.

Nixon drove Dick, Harry and Catherine up and towards the building where they would ultimately be staying. As they drove up, Catherine's eyes were wide in amazement; it was like a castle, with it's pointed peaks and cheery red linings of windows, set right by the lake. It was amazing, everything about Austria was absolutely amazing, even with the war done.

The minute they pulled near the shaded greenery by the cobblestone stairs, Catherine quick to jump out and follow Nixon inside. She hurried up the stairs behind Nixon stopping briefly to take in the view.

This is where they'd be staying?

Even as an occupation force?

Catherine smiled as Dick put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. Her eyes were shining brightly. She turned and followed up after Nixon, looking up with wide eyes.

" We'll be comfortable here." Nixon said, and Catherine smiled, looking at the trees that adorned the entrance.

It was all so surreal.

The light blue sky, the lake, the mountains, this castle like structure, the green trees that surrounded them, the warm breeze. All of it. She couldn't believe it was real.

When they had gotten inside, they were greeted by the defeated German forces that were currently on their way moving out back to what was Berlin. Catherine stood beside Nixon and Harry behind Dick, who sat in a chair with a desk in front of him, as the two German officers stood in front of them, at a sharp attention.

Catherine watched softly, her mind only wandering to George for a moment, the memory of that morning present in her mind, before she focused back on the German Commander who met her eyes for a moment. She stared back with equal intensity.

" I wonder what will happen to us, to people like you and me when there are finally no more wars to occupy us." the German said. Dick was quiet, staring at the German Colonel with a firm, yet slightly gentle gaze. 

" Have all your men collect the weapons. Deposit them at the church, at the school and at the airfield." Dick said with a nod.

" We will." the Colonel said. The German looked at Dick for a second, before turning and reaching to his holster. Catherine watched him with a soft gaze. He slowly removed the weapon at his hip and held it out towards Dick.

" Please accept this as my formal surrender, Major." the Colonel said, " it is better than to lay it on the desk of a clerk." Catherine watched Dick's eyes go to the weapon, before looking back up at the man behind it. A human being. Dick slowly stood up in front of the Colonel, glancing down at the weapon in the outstretched hand.

" You may keep your sidearm, Colonel." Dick told him. It seems a moment of justice filled the Colonel as he blinked a few times a small hesitant smile on his face, almost. He slowly put his weapon back into its holster, before standing up straight and clapping his heels together, the Lieutenant at his side following. The Colonel saluted Dick, who saluted him back. When Dick dropped his salute so did the German Colonel.

It was sort of a proud look on both their faces as the Colonel nodded to Dick.

2 leaders, 2 men who were finally seeing the end of a horrible war.

One they had been waiting to see the end of for a while by now.

When the German Colonel and his Lieutenant finally did leave, Catherine let down the guard she had held up. She slowly sighed, running a hand through her long hair before going and sitting down in one of the chairs with a sigh. Right now, she had a view of the lake, with the sunlight glistening down onto it, a light breeze gently blowing in through the nearby window, her feet kicked up on a cushion, and relief in her entire system. She felt so at peace. She heard footsteps and glanced over to see Nixon coming towards her a smirk on his face.

" What?" she asked him, looking back towards the lake.

" Nice place, isn't it?" he asked her.

" Very." she answered, " Come here to brag about your selective skills on choice of living areas?" Nixon chuckled before sitting down in the chair beside Catherine looking out towards the lake. 

" It's been almost 3 years since we started training," Nixon said, and Catherine slowly glanced towards him, " never thought that when I joined up in this whole thing I'd be sitting here." Nixon smiled at the view before looking at Catherine. Catherine smiled.

" Me either." she said softly. Catherine had been drug around like a rag doll in Bastogne, loosing some of the best guys she'd been friends with and fought with out there, some she'd never imagine gone. The last patrol had numbed her, to this horrid reality, and the camp had been heart breaking. She had showed that vulnerability to George, so deeply, as someone who tried to hold that back.

Now here she was.

She looked at Nixon, and gently grabbed his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. Nixon smiled and nodded, squeezing her hand back gently. It was like a silent communication, a go-switch, the sign of relief that they could let down the bit of the guard they had up.

Austria was what every man and woman in Easy Company needed.

A place where there wasn't riled up fear, tension, anger, hate.

A place where you could look to the mountains or the shimmering and glistening lake and find just maybe an ounce of peace.

Zell Am See was a place of freedom, a place where their guards could be let down for a moment or two and no one had to think of the real stresses of life, except for maybe the fact of they had to eventually go home soon.

And life, real life, would have to start after that, a life after a war that had brought grief upon every member, Private through General.

It was a scary thought.

But Catherine had bigger issues in the realm of the night her and George seemed to share on VE Day, and the kiss they had also shared. Catherine slowly stepped up the steps to where she knew 1st Platoon was currently housed and knocked softly against the door. On the other side was Perconte.

" Hey Frank," she said. Frank smiled.

" Hey Lieutenant, what's up?" Frank asked.

" George here?" she asked him. Frank raised a brow at her and then nodded.

" Yeah, something wrong?" Frank asked.

" No!" Catherine answered quickly, " No, um, no, just found something he might like." 

" Oh okay, hey George, the Lieutenant's here!" Frank called back into the room. And when George appeared, Catherine's heart raced suddenly as she gave a smile up to the man, whose hair was sticking in basically every direction, eyes wide, a winning smirk upon his face.

" Hey, Cath," he said, and George's heart nearly launched out of his chest at the smile on her own face. 

" Can we talk? I found something you might like." Catherine said softly and George smirked.

" 'Course, I'll be back Frank, don't steal my chocolate." George called as he stepped out of the room.

" Wouldn't dream of it!" Frank yelled back before shutting the door. When George met Catherine's eyes, Catherine was already watching him.

" Come on," she said and stepped around him and George followed her out of the door. Catherine then turned and brought George into an alleyway by the side of the building.

" What's going on?" George said as she pulled him further down the alley way, her heart pounding inside her ribcage, thumping and thumping over and over again. Catherine then slowed to a stop and then turned to George who watched her, looking confused, looking lost.

" Did the kiss mean nothing to you?" Catherine asked him, arms crossed over her chest as she stared up at him. George watched uneasily.

" Of course, it meant something-"

" George, " she whispered. George's heart stopped, and he believed his breathing did too. George watched Catherine.

The Lieutenant, that maybe he had a tiny crush on ever since she beat him in a drinking game back in late 1943 in London, but he just never lead it on.

And the way she whispered his name, so gently, made his heart race.

" Because if it didn't mean anything we can forget about it and say we were drunk, and say we weren't thinking if anyone finds out, and we can just go back to normal-" George stopped her by gently cupping her face and watching as her eyes filled with tears.

Her fear had been that it was a one time thing and that was it for them, for the both of them.

She had wanted it to be more than a one time thing for them.

" George..." she whispered, her heart aching. She had been thinking more about George in the past few days than the thought of the war being over, and she felt like it had just been a one night thing - they hadn't even talked about it after he left her room minutes before she did to not make it obvious.

But he made her heart race, she felt like a young girl again with a schoolyard crush, pining after him just to see if he notices her. She felt like a girl again, not war torn, not broken, not a reck. She had felt something other than the numbness in her bones. George had seen her vulnerability from all sides, and now he was seeing her slowly breaking even more.

" I don't want everything to go back to normal," he said quietly, his beautiful brown eyes, watching hers with such love, " I want you." Catherine's eyes widened slightly and her heart was racing faster and faster like a racehorse, her blood rushing, adrenaline spiking. 

" I want you, Cath," George whispered, " even if I can't show it in front of anyone else, or tell the world, it's you, I want you." Catherine watched him, her lips quivering.

" George..." she whispered, bringing her hands up to softly cup his cheeks and rub against his warm little checks, as she gazed into his beautiful eyes and those long eyelashes which never failed to add to his handsomeness. 

" I like you, Catherine, a lot, more than anything in this world," George said quietly as Catherine felt her heart swell, a soft gentle pulse inside her chest.

" I think I've liked you for more than I've let on George," she whispered, as George let out a tiny laugh, a warm breath of air across her lips, which sent chills up her spine. 

" Damn, you're too cute for this world." he said and Catherine giggled softly.

" It was like I was a girl again, with you, those few nights ago, you know? Watching my schoolyard crush." she whispered and George laughed, a joyous little chuckle coming from his lips.

" Do I get to be the school yard crush?" George whispered, his lips inches from hers.

" You were always the schoolyard crush," Catherine whispered softly, against his own. George's eyes caught hers and the two watched each other, with the softest eyes, held in each other's grasps and gazes. Catherine softly brushed her thumb against his cheek. 

" Thank you, George, for that night," she whispered softly, " I needed that, to feel something again." George watched her with that soft gaze, the one that sent a blush over her entire being.

" You're making me blush." she said back, nervously giggling under his gaze. George smiled at her.

" Good," he whispered, " you look adorable when you do." Catherine giggled again, blush further. She watched his eyes, fill with laughter as he watched her with such love, such heart. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. George bit back his lip, his eyes taking everything about her blushing face in before softly pressing a kiss to her lips. Catherine melted in his warm arms.

She had never been in love, per say, more like the feeling of love had never found its way to her.

But with George.

It was different, it was all so different, from the movies she saw, from the shows, from the books she read as a girl waiting for love like that.

This love was pure, it was real, it was built up over months of just being near each other and talking to each other and knowing each other.

It sort of just sprouted up like a little mighty flower, searching for its place. It felt like it had just appeared, this intensity, this love, this passion.

But it was what she had been longing for after the war.

And getting it after the day in Europe where the war had ended, made it even better.

George was different from all the boys in Cornell, in New York. George was genuine, and loyal, and trusting, and many times, he had made her feel better when she was at her worst. He had laughed with her, cried with her, hell the two had gotten drunk together, and they had found love together, some sort of love, in this horrid world, a love within each other, that they saw something in the other, some sort of love which made them yearn for one another.

A love that was pure, a love that was real.

Catherine slowly pulled back, sucking in a tiny breath, as her eyes met George's again, her heart racing.

" I'm the luckiest man in the world," George whispered softly, eyes shining like a thousand fireflies. Catherine blushed madly, but George only smiled. He felt like the luckiest man in the world.

So their relationship was to be kept secret, at least to the public eye. And for the moment, with the war over, with an end in sight, Catherine told herself it'd be okay. And George, he made her happier than she felt she had ever been, and she felt herself smiling just at the thought of him, or seeing him across the tiny mess hall set up in one of the homes on the lake. She finally felt something other than the burden or fear of war. But Catherine wouldn't tell a soul, not even Hazel or Lizzie - she couldn't let it spread, she couldn't.


	32. orange juice

" Happiness comes in waves. It'll find you again."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

As the weeks of May slowly flipped through their normal course of action, the weather turned warmer, the days remained getting longer and longer, and with each moment, more hope filled inside Easy Company.

Maybe this war would be over sooner than they thought.

They were beginning to fall into the routine of life in Austria and it was glorious. With nightly pillow fights in the platoons, swimming and splashing each other in the lake and finally having some fun for the first time in ages, was the relief Easy needed as an occupation force. What everyone needed, truly.

Lizzie felt Gene needed it the most.

The two usually ate breakfast together because they usually woke early to prepare the aid station and he smiled more than usual at breakfast and sometimes even cracked a few jokes or taught Lizzie a few words in French. He wasn't closed off, or giving a blank stare, such as his stare in Bastogne when Lizzie had been ill and spoon feeding his frozen body on Christmas Eve.

That was an experience she never wanted to experience again.

Neither of them.

But together they had talked about the experience for them in Bastogne and how draining it had truly been for the both of them and their emotions. They understood each other's emotions like an open book, simply because of the experience of Bastogne, especially when Lizzie physically had to coax Gene to eat a sliver of food even. It had been a vulnerable moment.

Truly.

And then at 0400 when they arrived back and he had so gently held her hands in his own grasp, like they were the most precious thing, was true vulnerability.

A medic's hands were the most important asset.

That entire night had been about the vulnerability of a medic.

Where they both understood one another.

It had been one of the worst nights of her life, but also the one she believed that they saved each other somehow. It was nice to see Gene genuinely happy again as May continued day by day through the weather as it grew warmer and warmer. Color returned fully to his face and his eyes brightened. Lizzie just wanted to see him happy. And seeing Gene happy was what she got to see.

" You look happy, Gene," Lizzie said softly, meeting his gaze. Gene's eyes were soft in the setting sun. He nodded.

" I feel happy," Gene said, " you know, for the first time in a while." Lizzie softly glanced towards him, smiling.

" I've been wanting to see you happy for a while, you know?" she said, " Seeing how you were in Bastogne, it hurt, a lot, because I could barely do anything myself." Gene gently placed his hand on her upbent knee to stop her. She met his gaze. 

" I'm happy to see you happy too," Gene said, " even if healing takes a little while, for now you're happy, I'm happy, Easy's happy. I feel like we'll finally be okay." Lizzie smiled, gently looking towards the sun.

" I hope you stay happy, Gene," Lizzie whispered, nodding, " genuinely happy." 

" Me too," Gene said and when Lizzie saw the smile on his face, her heart warmed. She never wanted him to stop being happy.

On the 1st of June, Hazel came skidding straight into the mess hall, her skirt dancing around her knees, muddied up, her combat boots and utter reck, her tie flying loosely around her neck, her dog tags jangling against the Star of David, her hair a wild untamed mess behind her.

She skidded right beside the table where Catherine and George ate side by side, George's hand not so discretely on Catherine's thigh, softly holding it there, as they talked in soft whispers and quiet looks.

" To what do I owe the pleasure?" Catherine asked looking up as Hazel let out a strained sigh. 

" 75 points," Hazel said throwing the paper down in front of Catherine, cheeks slightly redden from the heat. Catherine froze and immediately brought the paper into her hands and stared at it.

" Sergeant, Hazel Parker, 75 points." Catherine read and her heart sunk. 

" Aw Hazel," Catherine said looking back up at her and Hazel just sighed.

" The wound was only a purple heart, not much else." she said, with a shrug of her shoulders, " I figured I'd be sticking around for longer than I wanted." Catherine watched her and frowned sadly. 

" Where'd the dirt come from?" George asked leaning forward. Hazel raised a brow and then both Catherine and George looked at her skirt. Hazel glanced down.

" Oh," Hazel said and pulled up the flap of the skirt, " I tripped." Catherine raised a brow. 

" Over?"

" Catherine I'm clumsy and you know it." Hazel said and Catherine laughed. 

" You two get your points?" Hazel asked as she slowly slid in across from them, wiping sweat from her sweaty brow.

" 80." Catherine said gently with a sad smile. Hazel sighed.

" You?" Hazel asked George.

" 82." George said. 

" It seems no one has enough, I've been asking around." Hazel said sadly.

" If only the Pacific could just end this war, then we could go home," Catherine said softly with a small smile to Hazel who nodded. 

" One cup of orange juice," a voice said and the group looked up to see Joe bringing over two cups of orange juice and sliding in beside Hazel, his own tie loose around his neck, face sweaty, dirt on his knees. Catherine raised a brow.

" I thought you said you tripped." Catherine said.

" Yeah," Hazel said nodding, " running from Joe."

" Ooohh." Catherine said nodding as George snickered. 

" He's the one that chased after me with a bug in his hand," Hazel countered.

" Hey, you never said you didn't like beetles." Joe countered.

" I never said I wanted one of them perched on my shoulder." Hazel said back to him with a raised brow as Joe chuckled.

" Okay, okay, never again," Joe said as Catherine watched with a smirk. Then Joe poked her shoulder.

" Ow! Joe! Stop! It!" Hazel yelled slapping Joe's shoulder as he chuckled shifting away.

" Joe what are you doing?' Catherine asked through a laugh.

" I poked her shoulder." Joe said and Hazel grumbled.

" He thinks it's funny." Hazel said as Joe chuckled from her side. She shook her head with a laugh. 

" I'll poor my orange juice on you," Hazel threatened holding up her cup to him.

" What? After I just took time out of my day to bring it to you? And all over this pretty face?" Joe questioned and Hazel narrowed her eyes, face growing angry. 

" I am terrified." Joe said nonchalantly and Hazel kicked his boot under the table.

" Watch your back Joseph Liebgott," she said turning away and sipping her orange juice. Joe snorted. 

" Watching dutifully." he said with a smirk and Hazel grumbled, but couldn't keep the smirk from her face. Joe lifted the orange juice in his hands and tempted himself with it near her head.

" Hey, Joe, buddy, hey, hey, no don't pour your orange juice on her," George said pulling the orange juice from Joe's hands.

" Huh?" Joe asked.

" How many points you got?" George asked. Joe rolled his eyes.

" 78, am I surprised though?" Joe said. George watched him.

" You fucking kidding me? You were hurt like 3 times, that had to be at least 85." George said. Joe watched him and shook his head.

" You would've thought right?" Joe said with a chuckle, " Guess I'm going to be hanging around a lot longer than you want." Joe nudged Hazel's shoulder and Hazel smirked.

" Lucky me." she said and Joe chuckled.

" At least you can make fun of it," Catherine said as both Hazel and Joe smiled wide smirks on their faces, mirroring one another.

" He'll ride this out as long as he wants to." Hazel said, " I'm still hearing about the time he made a fool of himself in front of Winters back in November of '43, and then blamed it on me and we both got in trouble. That was the time."

" Only because you were the first name in my head," Joe countered and Hazel scoffed.

" I was sat beside you, you twat." she said and shoved his shoulder. Joe smirked, and opened his mouth again.

" Children, please let me sip my coffee in a blissful peace, it'd be much appreciated." Catherine said sipping her coffee. No one came between her and her coffee.

" Wouldn't dream of it." Joe muttered as George kicked Joe's foot.

" Ow." grumbled Joe.

" You heard the woman, don't come between her and her coffee." George said and both Catherine and Hazel let out laughs of joy.

A little laughter never hurt anyone.

Many people received their long awaited papers with their number of points on it that day and many were left disgruntled or agitated at the number that sat on the page.

" 70?" Hazel whispered as she took Shifty's paper in her hands lightly and stared at it with sad eyes. Shifty glanced at her and sighed, shaking his head.

" Would've thought there would be more, never was injured though." Shifty said softly.

" Hey, at least you're not alone, a bunch of us are still stuck here," Hazel said softly. Shifty looked at her and smiled.

" Yeah, yeah, I'm still happy about that too," he said and wrapped an arm over her shoulder. Hazel smiled and wrapped her arm around his.

" I'm glad we made it Shifty, especially with Bastogne," she said and Shifty smiled sadly. 

" Yeah me too," he said. Hazel was just really glad that the two snipers were still sat side by side.

" We need to talk," Hazel said as Speirs opened the door at 2200 that night, looking at him with narrowed eyes. 

" And disrupt me from my evening cigarette, it'd be my pleasure." Speirs muttered sarcastically letting her in.

" You're getting smart with me, sir." she said with a laugh and Speirs chuckled.

" What's up?' he asked her.

" It's Shifty, Shifty Powers." Hazel said as she turned to him, " He has only 70 points and by this rate he'll never make it home, I think he deserves to win that lottery on the 6th." Speirs watched her. 

" He's been through so much, sir, and he's never once been injured. And with only 70 points, I just, he deserves to be the one to go home, he deserves to see home again." Hazel said softly.

" I'll see what I can do, Hazel," Speirs said, as he shuffled a few papers that were on his desk. Hazel smiled softly and then looked around the office.

" What's with the dirt?" Speirs asked her and Hazel looked down at the skirt and sighed.

" Ask Joseph Liebgott," she grumbled crossing her arms and narrowing her soft eyes. Speirs chuckled.

" I'll be sure that the next time around, I'll be sure to ask Liebgott about it." Speirs said sending a smirk her way and Hazel rolled her eyes with a blush.

Forcing her feelings down her throat had been something hard to stomach. The war might be over in Europe, but the war in the Pacific raged like a wildfire - and they still were needing more men everyday to fight it, to put it out.

" I'll be heading out now, sir," she said as she gave him a tiny salute and he smirked with an equally tiny salute back before she fell out of his office practically.

Hazel continued through the darkening streets of Zell Am See towards where her stay would ultimately be. Taking the steps two at a time, a big mistake on her part, she made it to the top with shaky knees. Then she slowly headed down the hallway and grabbed the door handle, ready for a night of sleep, especially after Joe's oh-so-wonderful bug scare today which she was sure had scared a year off her life.

Hazel grabbed the handle and turned it open before stepping inside only to reveal a group sat in a circle, frozen, wide-eyed staring at her, money within each of their grasps and slowly reddening faces.

" Hazel!" Lizzie called, shoving her money into Chuck's wide eyed lap and shooting up like a bullet before ushering her out of the room. Lizzie slammed the door closed behind her and then turned to her. 

" What's going on?" Hazel asked innocently worry across her entire face. Think, Lizzie, think.

" We've been talking...about what to get you for your birthday." Lizzie said, " We were just trying to figure out who to give the money too." Hazel watched her.

" But my birthday's over a month away!" Hazel said with a small smile.

" Honey, your 21st birthday!! You can drink now, your 21, you deserve to have something prepared for you for over a month at least." Lizzie said. Hazel watched her.

" Okay," Hazel said, " Then I'll just head over to mess and grab some coffee."

" Okay," Lizzie said, bringing Hazel into a hug and rubbing her back," you do that." Hazel smiled and then turned and trotted down the stairs and out the door. Lizzie let out a relieved breath.

Thank you Lena Parker for birthing Hazel in July.

Lizzie slowly stepped back and pushed off against the door before entering the room.

" You shit heads are too loud for your own good," she said as she resumed her spot between Tab and Chuck. The men glared at her as she groaned.

" Men, I'd take it as a compliment from her at least," Tab said rubbing the back of his neck and Lizzie elbowed him.

" Okay, where were we," Chuck said as he pushed Lizzie back her money.

" We were on $30 only $30," Babe groaned, " it's worth more than that. Did you _SEE_ them? They're like an old married couple, he almost poured orange juice on her!"

" Well, then I'll raise it to $40," George said confidently, placing down a dollar as Lizzie watched Catherine smirk at George. Lizzie raised a curious brow. 

" I can second that orange juice scenario." George explained as he then shuffled his money against him.

" Can someone explain the orange juice scenario already?" Tab complained. 

" Joe brought her orange juice and the two were so obviously flirting with each other, the entire time, and they threatened to pour juice over one another. And the teasing. Oh my god, the teasing, it was laid on thick," Catherine said, " they're so oblivious it's adorable."

" Are we betting or playing matchmaker?" Chuck said, " Who's gonna raise it?" 

" We're betting, Charles," Catherine called, " I see the look in both their eyes. $60."

" Oooohh, Lieutenant." George called, rallying a pumping fist beside her," Can we chose partners?"

" Bet your own money, George, not Catherine's." Johnny called, " I'll raise it $70." George sighed shaking his head as Catherine laughed.

" Okay, okay, what about that one time, they went to what? Paris together? Paris?" Bull recalled," I ain't never seen a look like that in that boy's eyes." 

" You said it Bull," Frank said," Any time in the hospital I brought up, Joe, heart eyes."

" That's what that's called," Tab said, and Lizzie elbowed him as he smirked, " well he followed her out of that USO dance like a lost puppy, so $80."

" Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHAT!" Catherine said sitting up. Tab laughed.

" You were too drunk for your own good, playing darts with Johnny, she left and Joe followed, but are you even surprised?" Tab said.

" And they danced?!" Catherine said louder, eyes shining.

" Uh yeah that's what it's called when two people stand real close and try to make it not as awkward as possible." Tab said with a scoff.

" They danced!" squealed Catherine meeting Lizzie's own shining eyes, " They danced..."

Catherine felt her heart soften.

Hazel had said she was fearful to dance again, with all her memories and fears.

But she had danced with Joe.

Catherine's heart felt so warm.

" Alright, alright, where are we?" Chuck said calming them down.

" $80." called Babe," But I'll say $90."

Then all the sudden, the door opened and everyone turned to see Joe Liebgott, his hand limply on the door watching the group in front of him, eyes wide, brow raised.

" Someone want to tell me what the fuck you're doing?" he asked and George was the one who shoved him out of the room faster than slamming the door in one's face. 

" Great, now the both of them are gonna be even more clueless than before and we'll be the brunt." Tab groaned, " Real brilliant idea, guys."


	33. the good and the bad

" Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

The following day was the 2nd, and the anniversary of D-Day was nearing them, big time, which meant someone was going home in that lottery. And if it was who Hazel thought it would be, she made sure she spent as much time with Shifty as she could. He was one of her closest friends and she couldn't bear to see him leave, even though she knew he'd be safe in the end. So that morning, Hazel popped into where 3rd platoon was and noticed Shifty sitting on his bed, pulling his socks up on his feet.

" Shifty!" Hazel said as she entered the room and Shifty turned his head at the sound of his voice.

" Hazel!" Shifty called as he quickly pulled on the rest of his sock before bounding up and the two caught each other in a warm hug. Hazel knew she were counting down the last few days of having Shifty here. But he would be going home, she knew Speirs would do what he could. 

" What's up?" he asked as the two pulled back.

" You want to head into town?" she asked him," I heard they have this little antique store that I think we might like." Shifty grinned.

" And even better," Hazel said, " I saw one of those horse antiques in the window."

" Really?!" Shifty said as his eyes widened.

" Yes!" Hazel said and Shifty just about lost it. He turned grabbing his OD top.

" Let's go," he said and the two raced out like children.

Shifty flung open the door and Hazel flew threw before they were out in the sunlight of Austria, with the beautiful mountains cascading around them, the blue lake shimmering below, the white, puffy clouds above hanging just enough for parts to have enough shade, and the little homes, the brightest they had been. 

The two sharpshooters hurried down towards where Hazel had seen the antique store and they both skidded to a stop, or more like Hazel skidding into Shifty. Shifty was better on his feet than Hazel was. The two caught each other and then looked up at the store.

" Wow," Shifty said and Hazel nodded, " how'd you even find this place?" Hazel grinned.

" You can thank Joe Liebgott for dragging me to the local chocolate shop." she said and Shifty laughed. They headed inside and were immediately hit by a home-like warmth all around.

" Ello!" a voice called, and it was a young woman behind the counter, waving. Shifty and Hazel waved before they began exploring.

But the horse antique was first.

Hazel led Shifty to the front window, which smelled as if it were sunshine, that poured through the window and carefully pulled the horse antique into her arms before handing it to Shifty. Shifty took it and held it up to the light with big eyes.

" It's beautiful," Shifty said, letting his hand run over the carving of it. Hazel smiled.

" Do you need any help?" the young woman asked as she came walking over, fixing things along the way.

" We're okay, ma'am, thank you though," Shifty said and the woman smiled and nodded.

" You are American?" she asked them.

" Yes ma'am," Shifty answered.

" I didn't know women were in the fight with the men." she expressed, " It's lovely to see." Hazel smiled softly.

" Thank you," Hazel said and the young woman nodded.

" Bring whatever you want up when you are ready," she said and retreated.

" Friendly people," Shifty said as he looked at the horse again, " stunning Hazel, really, I don't even know how you picked this out." Hazel shrugged.

" It was a split second look as Joe almost ripped my arm out of my socket." she explained and Shifty laughed.

Hazel looked over her shoulder and saw a tiny little picture frame. She slowly bent down next to it and reached forward to pull it into her grasp. It was a simple frame, brown, with a bit of a design on it, like green vines, painted hastily. Hazel slowly reached into her front pocket and pulled out the photo of her mom and of Daisy. She smiled to herself. It would fit perfectly.

" Find anything?" Shifty asked. Hazel smiled and slowly stood next to him. 

" To put a picture of my mom and Daisy in," Hazel said and Shifty smiled looking at her. He nodded.

Then Hazel slowly approached a little doe figurine. Crouching down and becoming eye level with the little figurine, Hazel stared at the eyes of the doe. Everyone she felt, had doe eyes at some point, soft gentle gazes that people usually sent to one another. Hazel softly watched the figurine. Gently reaching up her hand, she gently picked it up, but then suddenly, a rush of memories flooded her body.

The soft doe eyes of the child in Holland, who had grown up his entire life in war and still managed to remain his innocent self, so gentle, so joyous, so willing to simply love without fear. Eyes that had been one of the most beautiful blues Hazel had ever seen, like an endless sea of possibilities, without limitations, filled with a swimming hope.

But suddenly, her hand retracted, jumping back as green eyes entered her vision.

The green eyes of the German soldier on D-Day, just another human being pleading for his life as she watched him, sweating, knife to his throat, in the silence of Normandy. She remembered how full of life his eyes had been when she had finally met them, but how fast they drained once she had killed him. The deep, dark green color, that lit up like electricity, fading almost immediately, to a pale green, devoid of emotion, color, feeling.

Hazel slowly shuffled back and away, her feet padding softly against the ground, before her back pressed into one of the posts in the middle of the store. She let out a shaky breath, watching the little doe stare back at her. Hazel had seen them, both of them, the child, the man, both of them, staring back at her, praying they saved her, praying that she'd take them from this horrid world, but she only spared one.

She had spared the German - he would never have to live in this world again, the little boy would realize what war he had to live through what horror he'd seen, what he had felt and heard.

All of it.

Just like every soldier.

They'd all have to live with it.

The German man, he was gone, and for a split second, Hazel thought possibly that dying was the better option in war. There was no pain there, or fear, or sadness, or grief, just simple relief from terror and horror.

" Hey," a voice said and Hazel looked up to see Shifty coming towards her a youthful smile upon his cheeks, a brightness in his eyes, his face glowing, " are you okay? You look pale." Shifty immediately grew concerned, the smile dropping, as he looked at her entire face and Hazel swallowed. She could only nod. Shifty watched her not convinced.

" I saw their eyes, Shifty, of the innocent and the gone." she whispered, " War sucks." Shifty softly watched her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

" It does," he said, " I still see their eyes, too." Hazel watched him and sighed with a sad smile. They didn't need to say much else, they knew what the other was thinking, about their most painful experiences, all of it. The pain of war and what you then had to live with. They were both thinking it.

" Let's head out," Shifty said softly a few moments later and Hazel nodded. Hazel told herself repeatedly that she'd be okay, and simply went with it, she needed to affirm herself that whenever she could. This was one of this moments. But she knew she'd never stop seeing their haunting eyes of both the boy and the man. War-torn in different ways, yet connected through the same war. A shiver was sent down her spine.

" Yeah," Hazel said, " let's." The two got their things, paying for their things they got before they walked out into the streets of Austria again. Hazel fitted the picture of her mom and Daisy into the photo and held it with her for the rest of the day, carrying it around like a token. She had never been happier with the little memento.

And plus, she got to be with Shifty for a majority of the day, and the two fell back into the fun they always had when there wasn't a war on, like back in Aldbourne or Mourmelon.

The eyes she had seen in the doe, something so pure, so gentle, so graceful, settled in the back of her mind, but she tried to disregard it for the day.

Within the coming days, the Anniversary of June 6th, D-Day, was quickly approaching and for many it was an odd feeling.

A year ago, they had made that fateful jump in Normandy, their first ever combat jump to hopefully lead the Allies to some sort of victory,t o only had Market-Garden follow and fall on its ass and have Bastogne be horribly depressing. It was overwhelming to say the least, to think back all those months ago on a time when there were still members of Easy who had been there were now gone.

Lizzie was effected the most she felt. because most of the men that were gone, she had treated on various occasions. She sat on June 6th, in her Class-A's her skirt around her knees, legs hanging off the edge of where her bed was, eyes downcast, her mind tumbling. She usually had daily moments where her mind was sent tumbling and all she did was think too deeply into something or focus on it too much and upset herself. But she couldn't help it most of the time.

" Hey, Lizzie? You ready?" she heard Gene's voice call through the door. Lizzie let out a quiet sigh. She always got in these horrible moods and it would turn more sour by the second and usually Gene had to deal with it. She felt bad that he was always dealing with her misfortunes. It made her sick to her stomach - he already had too much to deal with. 

" Yeah," she called and slowly pushed herself up from the bed, turning to grab her cover. Lizzie slowly walked towards the door and opened it up to find Gene on the other side, looking neatly put together with his Class-A's on and his hair all gelled up perfectly upon his head. And looking happy.

" Hey," Lizzie said gently, with a tired smile, which Gene noticed. He smiled softly. He knew she hadn't been sleeping again, the look in her eyes said it all, the dark grey circles, the sunken in look of her eyes, the way when she smiled, you could place a hand over her mouth, and her eyes still wouldn't change. She looked sad. 

" You doing okay?" he asked, noticing the bedsheets on her bed behind her, strewn around haphazardly.

Lizzie forced herself not to cry.

When talking about her emotions, she had the case of crying usually to follow, and usually it was connected with the stupid thing called attachment or the mood swings, or how deeply she just thought, so hard that she was having trouble, keeping herself as a medic at this point. The other day, she had been too oblivious to hear a replacement calling for her aid as she stared blankly forward a book she had long ago given up on in her lap.

" Fine," she said, " I couldn't sleep." Gene watched her. She bit back her lip and sighed.

" It's fine, it's our celebration, we'll worry about it another time." she said. Gene watched her.

" You sure?" 

" Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about." she said and Gene continued watching her.

" Lizzie, if there's something wrong-"

" Gene, I promise, you okay?" Lizzie said taking his shoulders, " I'm fine, please, don't worry about me. We're supposed to be celebrating, don't worry about me."

" But Lizzie-"

" Gene," she whispered, " I'm okay." Gene watched her and bit back his lip.

" Lizzie you know I worry for you, right?" Gene said and Lizzie watched him with wide eyes.

" Yes, and I worry for you too," Lizzie said, " but right now, it's okay, please don't worry for me." Lizzie watched his eyes and gave a smile.

" I'm okay," she reassured him. Gene and her moved out of the room and down the hall as Lizzie fitted her cover to her head. 

" You look nice," Gene said to her, placing a gentle hand on her back softly. And Lizzie smiled wide up at him, placing a gentle hand on his own back.

A genuine smile; she felt happier with Gene, he made her feel happier and he helped her out of the slumps when the girls couldn't. The way his eyes seemed to light up now, when the littlest most exciting thing happened, made her smile, or the way he smiled more, and was more willing to get actual sleep now and start taking care of himself, made her heart warm. Looking back, war isn't as scary with someone like Gene by her side. Through everything.

" Thanks, Gene," she whispered softly. Easy Company was moved into their 3 respective platoons on that bright and clear day, where there wasn't a cloud in the sky, with the sun shining brightly down upon the paratroopers who stood in the town square.

Hazel's sniper was comfortably adjusted on her shoulder, the dirt finally removed from her dress skirt, and the sock with the bit of dirt, was cleaned up, courtesy of Catherine.

" Hey!" a voice said knocking her shoulder as she turned and saw it was Joe.

" Joe!" she said, a wide smile spreading across her face, a faint blush on her cheeks, as she reached up to adjust his constantly crocked tie," You look great!" Joe chuckled at the pink on her cheeks and the way she had fixed his tie, so almost automatically.

" Thanks, Parker, you don't look too bad yourself." Joe said and as Hazel knocked his shoulder shaking her head with a smile.

" Thanks," she said and Joe smiled. 

" Never thought I'd make it here, to this day." she said and Joe glanced towards her.

" Why?" he asked her.

" When I got hit, I saw the light, you know, when you're close to dying? I thought God was taking me, I told him it was okay and that I was ready," she said with a nod, and a small smile, " I guess he, himself, wasn't ready for me to leave yet." Hazel said with a soft smile, glancing up towards him gently. Joe smiled, wrapping an arm over her shoulder.

" I'm glad he wasn't ready for you to leave yet either," Joe whispered. Hazel smiled, blushing and softly wrapped her arms in the sideways hug around him, inhaling the soft smoke and pine scent.

When they were finally moved into their platoons, they all stood with their weapons held out by their feet, serious expressions masking every facial feature, a sense of pride welling in their bodies as they stood strong, proud and happy.

These were the men and women who made it from Normandy to now Austria - the men who had seen so many others lose their lives, lose their humanity, or lose limbs just to make sure these men made it to where they were today.

Hazel stood, her face pushed up facing the soft, gentle breeze that flowed across her face, the sun kissing her cheeks which were slowly turning more tan than the pale look of Bastogne. She genuinely felt happy here in Austria. There were citizens of Zell Am See watching them, the prideful group of Easy Company paratroopers who had been through hell and high water to be here today. Hazel felt happy.

" Company!" their CO called over the group of soldiers, standing in his fresh and new Ike jacket, pristine medals and awards pinned to his chest, hair neatly gelled back, eyes surveying the entire group, swelling pride for the group over his entire face. 

" Platoon!"

" Atten-tion!" Speirs called again, standing proudly watching the soldiers watch him. 

" Right shoulder, ho!" All 3 platoons shouldered their weapons, and Hazel pulled her weapon into position on her shoulder.

" Order, ho!" all the men placed their weapons sharply down on the ground beside them, in quick formation. 

" At ease." Speirs said gently, eyes watching the group, slowly moving over the entire company, and Hazel let her tensed shoulders gently drop.

" General Taylor is aware that many veterans, including Normandy veterans, still do not have the 85 points required to be discharged. On this, the anniversary of D-Day, he has authorized a lottery to send one man home in each company, effective immediately." Speirs explained as Talbert walked up with a helmet in front of Harry who was to Speirs' left. Welsh dug his hand in before handing the slip to Speirs, a small smirk on his features. Hazel was praying, hoping that the smirk meant that it was Shifty's name, that it would be Shifty's name. It had to be Shifty.

" For Easy Company, the winner is...." Speirs eyes glanced over the paper, " Serial Number, 13066266. Sergeant Darrell C. Powers." Speirs said a proud smile upon his face, and Hazel's lips broadened into a relief filled smile as she met Shifty's eyes. He deserved it more than anyone. He deserved so much.

" That's how it's done, Shifty!" Luz called, and Shifty grinned with a little smile, shaking his head. Hazel's heart was so warm, Shifty would finally be going home, after all this horrid war. The group slowly quieted down after the announcement.

" Sergeant Grant will see to it that 2nd platoon takes over at the crossroads checkpoint beginning tonight at 2200 hours. General Taylor has also announced that the 101st Airborne Division will definitely be redeployed to the Pacific." Speirs announced and suddenly there was a blow to Hazel's gut.

More war.

More pain.

More combat jumps.

More death.

More grief.

More sadness.

Who else would they lose?

Hazel sucked back a tiny breath and then let it out.

So much for the celebration.

" So beginning tomorrow, at 0600 hours, we will begin training to go to war." Speirs called and Hazel watched Speirs, trying hard to not let her shoulders slump in sadness.

But maybe for tonight, she could just celebrate and try to forget about it all.


	34. like a fire being fed wood

" A sky full of stars and he was staring at her."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

Speirs dismissed them all eventually and some men even ran off to the local bars already, searching for the closest drink they could get their hands on.

Catherine found herself jogging up the steps of the large Austrian house where the officers were currently housed, searching for Nixon. She knew he'd have Vat 69 nearly shooting out his ears, and that waiting behind a bunch of rowdy Easy Company men would not get her the drink any faster. She smoothly headed down the hall and then turned finding Nixon already sipping on a bottle, taking a satisfying sip from one with a sigh.

" I knew it," she said and shut the door quietly behind her before sliding onto his desk and looking at him.

" Knew what?" Nixon asked as he sat up from his chair, already slightly drunk.

" Vat 69, I knew you had some," she said and Nixon smirked.

" Here," he said and Catherine gleefully took a sweet, long sip of the drink.

" Thank you," she said with a quiet sigh, " this is amazing." 

" Only the best," Nixon clarified and Catherine laughed lightly.

" You said it," she said with a smile. 

" You ever think about life back home, Nix?" she asked him passing back the bottle.

" Well, with the war on, it hasn't exactly been the number one thing." he said.

" Let me guess, Vat 69 and keeping Dick in line?" she asked him and Nixon smirked.

" How'd you guess that?" he asked her.

" Lucky pick," she said with a smile. Nixon chuckled.

The bars that night were filled to the brim with paratroopers celebrating the one year anniversary of D-Day. And it was nice to really celebrate the anniversary and not have to think of anything else. No war, no grief, no fear, nothing. They could just celebrate.

Sure, a year ago, Catherine had been hauled half-way across Normandy by Gene, and they had taken out the German garrison, and Hazel had her first close up kill. It had all happened in one day - Hazel was determined not to dwell any longer on that portion of her life. It was behind her now.

As Hazel entered the very warm bar that night, she immediately felt the love that was surrounding the entire bar and the familiar feeling in general of family, a feeling of belonging. Hazel smiled, blushing and waving at people that called out to her and continued moving through the group to where she could get herself a drink. She got herself a Coke and then slowly turned around, leaning up against the bar table and looking out over the group. Everyone was happy. Happiness was such a good feeling, better than most feelings in the world.

Just to feel genuinely happy, Hazel hoped she achieved that fully one day.

Hazel's eyes slowly traveled along the length of the bar and she found Lizzie attempting to dance with Babe, who kept, embarrassingly, tripping over both their feet, so many times so that they were catching each other from falling more than actually dancing. But it had to be one of the cutest things.

Catherine and Malarkey were talking quietly together and it was nice to see them talking and smiling. They'd both been through more than Hazel could imagine and Hazel had been through many things in life. They still kept on living.

Hazel had always admired their courage in tough times.

Hazel knew those two women better than anyone did and they knew her better than anyone, well of course, except Joe. But she loved them both with her entire being.

They had shown her what a strong woman can be like, that she can break, that she can be vulnerable and emotional, yet intelligent, kind, caring, absolutely right on many occasions, fearless and brave, opinionated, boss people around, a leader, a caregiver, a home.

They can be what the Virago truly exemplifies, while still being themselves.

That was pure adoration.

" You don't have to make it that obvious, Joe," muttered George as the two were leaned up against the opposite bar, their front Class-A's unbuttoned, a bit of sweat along their foreheads, hair hanging down a bit, and their ties wonderfully loosened. It was hot. Joe grumbled and rolled his eyes glaring at George.

" Care to explain?" Joe muttered.

" You've been making heart eyes ever since she walked in," George commented, sipping his beer. Joe grumbled.

" I don't think she'll ever love me the way I love her," Joe said, watching as Chuck approached her and the two started talking and laughing together, before eventually sitting down and turning away for conversation. Joe sighed.

" I wish I could just tell her I loved her already, with the way the war's going and all," Joe said and slumped his shoulders sagging.

" Joe, buddy, you can't beat yourself up over her," George said," I don't know how damn oblivious you can be, but I see the way she watches you, smiles around you, laughs with you, all of it." Joe watched George with narrowed eyes.

" I think she might feel the same way," George said quietly and suddenly Joe's eyes widened a bit, " I think she's just scared to tell you too." Joe's heart started racing inside his chest suddenly and he felt warmer than before, too warm.

If what George said was so ungodly true, why was he an absolute MESS about it?

" Joe, you're sweating." George said watching him as Joe's hand traveled across his brow.

" Do you sweat when this happens too or are you normal?" Joe asked him and judging by the look on George's face, Joe frowned.

" I take back that comment." Joe said and George chuckled, " You're not normal." George laughed loudly.

" So," George said as he calmed down, " you thinking about telling her sooner or later then? Before the jump into the Pacific?" Joe let out a sigh and shook his head.

" I...I don't...I don't know," Joe said shaking his head.

He knew love was hard for Hazel.

Her relationship with her father had been especially hard on her and the past 13 years of her life she has been tortured by the fact people she loves can walk away as fast as they came. He knew it hurt her. If what George said was the truth, he hoped it were the truth.

Joe knew himself, he couldn't keep playing this game any longer, being her best friend, not getting that feeling of holding her, making her feel safe, telling her he loved her, laughing with her, just being with her - this game had gone on too long. Joe watched her, with soft eyes and felt his heart fucking melt. It always melted around her.

" You got it bad, Joe," George said gently and Joe looked towards him with sad eyes." Yeah, I know." Joe said slumping back against the bar, " So bad." George watched his friend sympathetically. Joe was never one to openly express his emotions with another person, at least like this, but with Hazel it was out for everyone to see, like it were some chocolate display. 

" It's okay, soon enough," George said patting him on the back and Joe watched him weakly. Hazel made him feel like love wasn't hard, that loving another person wasn't hard, that being open to love wasn't a generally hard concept. He felt something with her.

" Ask her to dance," George said. Joe shot him a look. George gave him a bored look.

" Where you take her hands in yours and sway to the musi-"

" I know what dancing is." Joe said and George smirked. 

" Don't tell me Joseph Liebgott is scared to ask a woman to dance." George said nudging his shoulder. Joe blushed furiously, angrily, madly, horribly. George couldn't help but smirk.

" C'mon it's just Hazel," George said.

" She's not just Hazel, George," Joe said looking at his friend, " she's....she's more than just....Hazel." George felt a sympathetic smile cross his face, as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

" I know she's more than that," George said and Joe met his eye," now go ask her to dance, or I'll do it myself." Joe watched him.

" I thought you'd actually be sympathetic for once."

" Eh, I usually can't for too long, I have to balance it out, ya know."

" If that's what you call it," Joe said as George chuckled.

" Go," George told him and Joe gulped.

Dancing was so important to Hazel, one of the most important things to her. He'd only danced with her twice, but each moment, made him smile like a kid again. He wanted to dance with her a third time. Joe slowly wiped his hands against the collared shirt beneath his Class A coat, before letting out a shaky sigh.

Joe turned and looked back towards George who was still leaned up against the counter.

George smirked, simply raising the glass in the air, and took a big gulp, watching Joe proudly. Joe flipped his off, hearing George chuckling as he moved through.

Joe's eyes were narrowed, slightly pissed at George, even if he loved him like a brother, but it changed almost immediately the second Hazel came into view. Her hair, pulled back in that half up, half down she always seemed to wear, with pieces framing her face, as she laughed lightly at something Chuck said to her, where she squeezed her eyes tightly, scrunching her nose up a little bit like a baby bunny, before shaking her head through the laugh. It made his heart skip a beat. Joe slowly walked up and then slowly cleared his throat. Hazel almost immediately turned at the sound and Joe watched that smile grow on her face and her eyes brighten.

" Joe!" she said as Chuck turned with a smirk. 

" I was wondering if you wanted to dance?" Joe asked her and suddenly a soft smile fell on Hazel's face, as she watched his eyes.

" Yes," she said softly, with an innocent nod, a slight blush on her cheeks as well. Maybe George was right, maybe she liked him too. Or maybe it was just hot in the bar. Chuck looked between the two and slowly turned away, sipping his drink with wide eyes.

Joe gently lent his hand forward and with a nervous giggle, Hazel took his hand and let him lead her towards where the dance floor was. Hazel's hand in his was something Joe had always wanted, gently clasping her tiny little fingers in his own, feeling her presence there without having to even watch her. Hazel slowly looked up as Joe kept her hand protectively in his own, walking forward, a sense of pride in his step, the way his fluffy hair bounced with each step, the way his tanned features sort of stood out a bit more in the dimmer bits of light.

Hazel couldn't help but let her heart flip and flutter like a butterfly, giggling softly. When they arrived at the dance floor, Joe softly turned to her as he placed a hand on her waist, keeping his hold on her hand tightly clasped in his own. Hazel softly placed a hand on his shoulder, where there was evident heat radiating from his uniform and she nervously met his eyes. The look he gave her, made her face grow even hotter, she felt like her face was burning. She giggled. She always giggled under his gaze.

" What?" Joe said, biting back his smirk the best he could, as it twitched to appear on his face. Hazel shook her head with a little giggle.

" Nothing," she said, blushing further. Joe smirked again and let his gaze rest on her. She giggled again.

" What?" Joe said, " C'mon Hazel." 

" You make me nervous, Joe," she whispered softly and suddenly his heart clenched inside his chest. Joe watched her, slightly amused, full of adoration, love.

" Why?" he said quietly. Hazel's lip twitched.

" The way you look at me," she said, " no one looks at me like that." Joe watched her, his heart racing, his blood pumping. His mind a mess, like a bunch of mini Joe Liebgott's racing around, paper burning in areas, things on fire, others punching the brain wall, trying to do something, anything. 

" And the way you treat me," she whispered, " you treat me too well." Joe's lips quirked into a smile.

" I treat you the way you've always deserved to be treated," Joe said softly and Hazel felt her own heart stop. Hazel bit back her lip and softly watched him.

And for a moment, it was just Haze and Joe, there, standing, watching one another, eyes boring into the others, a million little stars dancing across them, the background fading away. All Hazel could focus on was Joe, staring right back at her.

" You deserve to be treated right, Hazel." Joe whispered, " As the woman you are, the strong woman you are, and as a human being, for continuing to fight and live, despite what you've been through, it's why..." Joe's heart clenched just watching her. He wanted to tell her, pour out his heart, let her know, his heart was hers and hers only in that moment. He could see the emotion in her eyes, each and every bit that had been shattered over and over, only for her to gracefully collect the pieces and softly build it up again and again, with a heavier load each time, but doing it without fail. 

" Joe..." she whispered, as tears filtered into her vision, creating the blurry vision of the man she loved. Joe softly let go of her hand, placing it flush against her hot cheek, his thumb warm against her scolding hot face, as Joe watched her, his eyes an endless abyss, watching hers with even more love than she could imagine in her lifetime.

" The way you cared for me, after the....the camps," Joe whispered, nodding, watching her, taking in every beautiful bit of her being, " the way you make me smile, or laugh, or even just will let me sit in silence with you and I know you're there. The fact you make me feel something. More than the numbness war offers, I actually can feel my heart racing, when I look at you, feel what a feeling is like. Or maybe it's because when I see you, I see the mother of my children, or the woman who I know will be by my side on my good and bad days, the one who will make sure that her mother's okay before anything, that I'm okay, that she herself is okay." Hazel softly felt tears escape from her eyes as she watched Joe watch her, those words spilling from his lips as if it were poetry itself, her heart racing, yearning for his, for his touch, for his care, for the way he smiled.

For him.

For each and every bit of what Joseph Liebgott was.

" You make me so happy, Hazel," Joe whispered, as if he himself were choking back tears," like the happiest man in the world, you know that?" Hazel felt a broken laugh intermingled through a cry escape her lips, as her lips quivered. 

" I didn't know that," she whispered out, as she sniffled and Joe let out a soft broken laugh, that shattered at the end.

" And you know why?" Joe said softly as Hazel watched him, her heart racing and racing, her blood rushing, her heart flipping, her entire body yearning for him. 

" Joe..." she whispered again, but his thumb gently brushed across her cheek.

" Because I love you," Joe whispered softly, as Hazel's lip quivered and tears raced down her face quicker than ever before. Joe loved her, her loved her.

" And it's because I love you, for who you are, ya know?" Joe said, as his thumb caught the tear on her cheek, " And you've always been you, you didn't change for someone else, you stayed you, and you showed me how to be human again, even through war." Hazel's lip quivered, as she tried to hold in the cry on her lips, watching Joe, watching him with every fiber in her being, holding him closer and closer.

" Ever since I saw you, up on the Effiel Tower, just, ya know, with the stars, I knew I was in love, in love with you, with everything about you." Joe said, as Hazel sniffled, holding back a quivering cry, " And the war never changed that, the fact I was in love with you." Hazel let out a quivering cry, watching him say he loved her.

When love had always been viewed as the hardest thing on this planet for her, and now it seemed to be the easiest thing on Earth.

" The way you look at the stars, I hope I never stop looking at you the same way," Joe whispered, and Hazel didn't hesitate to softly cup his warm cheek, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

" I hope I never stop looking at you that way either," she whispered back. Joe watched her, watching her, taking her in, taking her in, all the beauty that encompassed this woman that had wrapped him around her finger ever since he had stood glowering in the corner of the barracks back in England.

" I always thought love was hard, Joe," she whispered, " but with you, it's easy, it's so easy to just look at you and know I'm loved, know I'm cared for, that you won't leave my side. I couldn't help falling in love with you." Joe's heart swelled, his mind went calm and all he wanted to do was show him that he loved her more than anything. 

" I love you, Joseph Liebgott," she whispered softly, her fingers setting sparks across his cheeks. And to hear her say those words, in her softest voice, against his own lips, sent shock waves through his system.

" And with you..." Hazel whispered, her thumb, brushing near his lips," I believe in love." Both of them couldn't hold in their emotions, tiny laughs breaking past their lips, as Hazel watched him, softly, tears continuing to softly boil down her cheeks.

Before either of them even could tell what was happening, Joe had lent forward just a hair, and pressed his lips to her soft ones, passion and love and warmth swirling around them. His world was right in his hands, her little face, gently placed right in his hands, as he deepened this kiss, holding her closer to his body, their hearts aching to touch one another, to be near one another.

Hazel felt so safe, encased his warm, comforting grasp, that never failed to make it feel like home, like she could find a home and it could be with him. Her heart had ached so long for him, just to hold such this quiet, intimate moment with someone like Joe, made her feel a love she had never felt before, but a love that she wanted to last.

Hazel couldn't stop her hand from traveling up into his hair, pulling him closer, her fingers brushing through the chocolate waves that she always thought of when she thought of Joe, that smirk, that look, just him.

The split second they separated, foreheads pressed softly together, their breathing rates slightly ragged, hearts racing, yearning, they were still so intoxicatingly close, holding one another, each other's worlds in the other's hand, eyes gently closed. Their hearts raced almost in sync, in the dim light of the bar, with people nearly everywhere.

The only reason Hazel knew it weren't a dream was the gentle touch from Joe's thumb on her cheek and how swollen her lips suddenly felt. And the pounding love that swirled in her heart. Both their hearts.

" I would do this all again, Hazel," Joe whispered as Hazel softly bit her lip, barely fluttering her eyes open enough to look at his, " this war, all of it, if it meant I got to be standing here holding you at the end of it, knowing just knowing that you're here." Hazel's heart exploded then and there. 

" I'd do it for you, Joe, each and every bit of it, just to see you happy, standing here, happy, so so happy. I've only ever wanted you happy," Hazel whispered against his warm lips.

" I've only ever wanted you happy, Parker, and right now, you look so happy." Joe whispered, with a breathless laugh as he took in her beauty, so close up, the flecks of grey in her blue eyes, the tanned freckles on her nose, the long eyelashes, each and every bit. 

" It's you, Joe, you make me happy." Hazel whispered. Joe didn't hesitate to press his lips to hers again, creating that fire, that burn, all over again.

The kiss had been amongst the crowd of people, and had been between two people who loved each other for who they were, and it was theirs, their little moment in this war.

Even if they hadn't kissed, they'd been in love for too long for a kiss to signify it.

Their trust and loyalty to one another had already signaled it back one year ago when Joe had been the one to comfort her from her fears, hide her from her constant worries, and reassure her. And just be there; simply be there like the man he was.

Their love grew like a fire being fed wood.

They didn't want that love to ever stop.


	35. a world of light

" She found the colors to paint him when the world had left him gray."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

Hazel and Joe eventually retreated outside, sitting on the dock, their legs swinging above the water, Joe's arm wrapped around her shoulder, occasionally pressing affectionate kisses to her head or to her temple, whispering soft words to her, as she cuddled against him, remembering the way his lips had been against her own, how full of love they had been, full of life, a future of possibilities.

They didn't need to talk, just to be by the lake water, lapping against the poles of the dock, soft crickets twittering, a light breeze hitting them. As long as they were together, side by side, everything seemed absolutely wonderful. Nothing could change it.

Hazel's thoughts were ever present though on Easy Company.

From Normandy to Zell Am See and what the experience had brought her. She felt sad when each and every word that had flooded into her brain were negative words, filled with bad memories.

But was war just that?

Hazel felt she'd never know. She thought a lot about many of the men they had lost, all the way back to D-Day, like John Hall who had been nothing but kind and youthful but had lost his life for the war - just a boy. She also thought of Tipper. Tipper had been an original Toccoa member, he'd been there since the beginning for the men of Easy - they'd lost him to.

But her mind stayed focused on Bill and Joe and she never thought she'd miss them as much as she did now. She wanted them to be here with her, here with the men of Easy Company, celebrating their anniversary - they had made it! They'd made it this far!

But no, the world was cruel sometimes, so cruel.

Then she thought of Buck, the Lieutenant who had managed to have a conversation with her, without a single mention of this horrid war - a normal conversation. He had been so shell-shocked seeing his buddies the way they were, that it hurt too much for him to even continue. Hazel had heard about how George had tried to plead with Buck and beg him to stay on the line, but had left George on his knees.

Hazel thought about Skip and Penkala, two men who were original Toccoa members who would never go back to America.

They had seen Lady Liberty for the last time.

And those two men were always so kind to Hazel, even when they were at their lowest at times - they never failed to make her smile, or give her a laugh, make her feel better. Hazel laughed lightly to herself - they'd want her to keep laughing, keep smiling, keep being herself. She'd always remember them.

The stars were shining brightly, on one of the clearest nights Hazel had ever seen them. She remembered on D-Day, looking out that plane window, as the scared, naive, young girl she was, looking at the stars, praying for an ounce of safety for the men and women of Easy Company and for her.

The war had changed her, it had changed her more than she could ever imagine. Her mindset, her views on the world, on war, on emotions, on love and hatred. Her views she felt were forever changed. D-Day one year ago had changed her life forever, her life would never go back to June 4th, 1944, to whatever she had been before that day, she would forever be changed by June 6th, 1944, forever and ever.

And most of the time, war changed people a lot, just to simply be that way - they'd sometimes be forever changed because of it. Hazel let out a quiet sigh, as she watched the stars quietly moving across the Earth.

Her heart was filled with so many different emotions. They were being redeployed to the Pacific.

They'd have to go through this terror all over again.

She didn't want to.

She didn't want to go through all of this again because it sucked.

She thought with this war over, they'd be going home, they'd be going back to America, she could see her family again.

She thought maybe she could be with Joe, be with him in San Francisco.

Have the life she saw in her head with him.

But with the war?

With the Pacific theater quickly approaching their set time, love was hard to get by with. It scared her. She was scared for what might happen to the men who had already been through so much turmoil. She didn't want any of them to have to go through the war again. She wanted them to be able to go home, away from all of this and try to get back to their lives which were stopped by war.

But those sad thoughts disappeared when she looked at Joe, sitting so contently quiet, a soft smile on his face, with glowing eyes, his entire face glowing. He brought her happiness in so many forms.

Like this very moment.

Hazel softly placed a hand on his knee and gently squeezed it. Joe looked at her and couldn't help but softly kiss her forehead as she giggled.

Everything would be okay, all of it.

It would all be okay.

The stars watched her, they watched Hazel finally feel a sense of happiness, sense of trust and love and peace with herself.

The stars cried that night.

On June 7th, Hazel was lying on her side in bed, with a sad heart. Last night with Joe, had been everything she ever wanted, but sometimes happiness didn't always last through for the following days. Shifty was leaving today. One of her best friends was leaving. And she knew she should be happy for him, happy for him to be able to leave the company and go home, but she couldn't help but feel sad that one of the people her understood her the most was leaving. But he deserved to see home again, he deserved it so much.

Hazel felt an odd swirl of emotions within the pool of her stomach. A year ago she had been praying with Gene in Normandy for Catherine's safety and Lizzie's safety and every single Easy Company man's safety. Now she was watching Shifty leave, the first of many she assumed in the upcoming months. Hazel forced herself up and out of bed and to the mess hall, her feet quiet on the ground as she walked in and found Shifty in his normal spot, sipping coffee, dressed in his beige uniform, cover and newspaper sitting beside him, scooping oatmeal into his mouth. Hazel smiled softly and approached him.

" Hey, Shifty," she said and Shifty turned at the sound of her voice.

" Hazel!" he said, his eyes lighting up, " Wanna sit down?"

" Of course," she said and slowly lowered herself in her seat next to him, softly letting herself sit by his side. Shifty noticed that she wasn't completely herself. She wasn't completely Hazel Parker. 

" Hey," Shifty said, placing a hand on her shoulder, " you okay?" Hazel met his eyes and nodded, telling herself not to cry.

" Yeah," she whispered softly, " I'm okay." Shifty watched her.

" I'm going to miss you," Hazel whispered, as tears welled in her eyes.

" Aw, hey, Hazel, it's okay," Shifty said, as Hazel immediately held him in a hug as the two sharpshooters held on another. Hazel squeezed her eyes shut as they held each other.

Shifty had been one of her closest friends through the war, and she had told him so many of her fears, so many joys, so many different things in her life and he had always listened and vice versa. They told each other everything, and they always understood each other, with simple motions even.

" I'm glad you're going home though, Shifty," she sniffled, " you deserve it more than anyone." 

" You deserve it too," Shifty whispered back and Hazel squeezed her eyes shut. Every man deserved it, they all deserved to go home, but they knew they couldn't. Shifty could escape the Pacific, this horrid war, this fear. He could finally get away from it all with his pure soul.

" Hey, but we don't have to say good bye, yet I still have a few hours here," Shifty said as Hazel pulled back and met his eyes as she let out a tiny laugh with tears trailing down her cheeks.

" Only a few hours," she whispered softly and Shifty smiled at her, " you're one of my best friends, Shifty. Seeing you go, I know I have to be happy for you, but since the beginning, you've been my friend, you've always been there. I'm going to miss you a lot." Shifty smiled at her, watching the tears on her slightly tanned face. He smiled at her.

" I'll miss you more, Hazel, I knew I could tell you everything and you wouldn't judge who I was," Shifty said and Hazel gently touched his arm, " I knew I could trust you with my life." Hazel wiped at her cheeks and sniffled with a sad smile. She watched Shifty's eyes fill with tears. 

" Please don't cry, Shifty," she said with a laugh reaching up to brush tears that crawled down his cheek, " you'll make me cry more." Shifty laughed weakly, and met her eyes again.

" I'm going to miss you, Hazel," Shifty said, " you showed me that I can be comfortable with my emotions, you know? If I feel sad, it's okay to cry, to be upset, and still be strong. You showed me that." Hazel sniffled, she never thought she was strong with her emotions, but watching Shifty now made her believe that maybe she was strong, even with all her emotions.

Hazel and Shifty went and stood by the lake, staring out at the water, having one of the deeper conversations of their friendship about the struggle of the human mind once it was put back into society. He had just said his goodbye to Winters. And now Shifty was growing closer to his leaving time. They were quiet, with low spoken voices as they squinted in the sun, looking out towards the lake, watching the little waves lap along the shoreline, leaving the tiny pebbles shiny from the water.

It was a meaningful conversation, a conversation like this which she would miss having with someone like Shifty.

A bunch of people were there to see Shifty off, giving him hugs, pats on the bags, encouraging words and wishes of farewell. Hazel didn't fail to give him an extra long hug as the two held each other, holding back their tears. They'd been through a large majority of the war together and had experienced such similar things they felt only both of them could talk about with each other, like God telling you to love your enemies and how Hazel told Shifty she felt she never could truly love her enemy in that moment.

Shifty had understood.

Hazel backed away from Shifty giving him a small wave as he climbed up into the Army Jeep, sitting down and looking towards the group before waving and being hastily whisked away. Hazel watched Shifty pulling away with soft, sad eyes, her hands shaking.

Shifty Powers, her fellow sharpshooter, gone like that.

But her heart told her that him going home, was the only was to save him in this war and he deserved to be going home. Hazel sat in Catherine's room that night, staring out towards the darkened night and darkened lake, as the little lights that lit up the edges of the lake, flamed lightly.

" Here," Catherine said placing a cup of coffee into Hazel's grasp slowly as Hazel watched with sad eyes. Hazel took it and looked down at the cup that sat between her fingers. 

" Thanks, Cath," Hazel said softly, eyes failing to even recognize a human in front of her.

" I forgot how much it hurts when people who are like family leave." Hazel said softly, with a small smile towards Catherine. Catherine watched Hazel softly, and gently brushed her hair behind her ear.

" It's okay to miss people, Hazel." Catherine whispered.

" He was like my brother," Hazel whispered softly, tapping her fingers against the coffee cup," A lot like a brother." Catherine watched Hazel and smiled.

" When he gets home, you can write him," Catherine said gently, " I know he's going to miss you too." Hazel smiled softly.

" And maybe when this war's over, I can visit him, he lives close by to Pigeon Forge, in Clincho." Hazel said, " He's a good person." Catherine nodded. She gently wrapped an arm over Hazel's shoulder and pulled her into a warm side hug.

Leaving these men would be hard when the time eventually came.

Harder than many things.

They'd become a true family, a found family, a family you'd never suspect.

But when you go through bad situation, after bad situation, you grew more bonded than ever.

" Hey, sorry, Gene just let me off for the night," Lizzie said as she came in shutting the door behind her with a sigh. Catherine and Hazel glanced towards the medic as she slowly pulled the satchel from her shoulder with a sigh. 

" Mother of God," she sighed, swinging around her medic satchel from her shoulder, " and then Floyd comes up and starts making jokes about the moon, I swear I don't ever need to hear about any more crescent moon jokes." Both Catherine and Hazel laughed lightly as Lizzie shuffled forward with a smile, before sitting down on Hazel's other side.

" You okay, Tiny?" Lizzie asked.

" She misses Shifty," Catherine said for Hazel who have a soft, sad smile.

" I miss Shifty too," Lizzie said taking Hazel's hand, " we all do." Hazel smiled softly and looked at either of them. 

" Thanks guys," she said softly as the three women sat together.

" How about," Catherine said, " I run down, grab some of the food that's in the officers quarters and we put on some music and we just chill out for the night?" Hazel and Lizzie smiled watching Catherine; they nodded.

Then there was a knock on the door.

" Cath?" a voice called. Catherine froze.

George.

_Oh no._

Hazel and Lizzie looked at the door with confused raised brows as Catherine, feigning surprise stood and wandered over to the door. Catherine slowly opened the door and watched as George appeared on the other side with a wide smile on his face.

" George!" she said, clearing her throat, and nodding, trying to make it obvious that there were in fact Hazel and Lizzie in the room, " What's up?" George met her eyes and then saw Hazel and Lizzie in the room, watching George and Catherine confused, as they talked in hushed voices together. They eventually watched as Catherine pushed him back out of the room, slamming the door behind her into the hallway.

" George," she whispered, crossing her arms, " you can't make it obvious." George smirked at her and chuckled quietly.

" You think those two will really care?" George said. Catherine gave him a look, biting back her lip.

" I think if we start kissing each other, they'll care." Catherine whispered and George smirked at her.

" Hazel's sad about Shifty going, so we're just having a girl's night in, to make her feel better, she needs this." Catherine whispered to him, " She's like my little sister, George, she needs some time." George smiled at her.

" Of course," he said, " now's not a good time to mention I snuck in past Winters, Nixon and Welsh all sitting in the main foyer." Catherine watched him with wide eyes, playful eyes.

" George Luz, you snuck in?" she whispered, " You'd be kicked out faster than ever before if you were caught." 

" To see you, I'd risk it," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer, nuzzling his nose against hers. She blushed. Catherine watched his eyes and gently cupped his cheek.

" I love you, George," she whispered softly, watching his eyes register her words. George then smiled so gently, so softly in the dim moonlight, and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek. " I love you more, Catherine," George whispered as Catherine watched him, his warm embrace encasing her entire being, so intoxicating, so warm, so soft and gentle, so much like a home. Catherine watched his eyes and smiled softly. Her heart fluttered at the look he was giving her, the love in his eyes, the look of complete trust and loyalty and devotion. A love she had never experienced in her entire life. She pressed a tender kiss to his lips, holding it there for a few moments, a soft and gentle moment between the two. Catherine softly pulled back and watched his eyes again. 

" I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered softly against her lips.

" Don't get caught just for me, George," she whispered back and George smirked at her, pecking her lips again before slowly backing away down the hall, smirking at her with a malicious wink.

" You know I'd get caught for you," he called softly back to her, before disappearing down the hall and around the corner, dashing out again. Her heart was racing, cheeks aflame and suddenly she realized she had to face Hazel and Lizzie. Catherine slowly turned and found Hazel and Lizzie still sitting on the bed, now looking towards Catherine with soft smiles.

" Sorry, he was just..." Catherine's mind went blank," never mind." And suddenly, all she wanted to do was tell the two women of the love she had with George, this pure, happy, healthy love that finally made her feel something like it were real and it could last. 

" Can I tell you two something?" she whispered. Hazel and Lizzie watched her.

" Of course, what's going on?" Lizzie asked her as Catherine slowly laid down against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Lizzie slowly turned and moved towards her head, wrapping an arm around her as Catherine sighed cuddling up like a kid. Hazel sat criss cross beside her, watching her innocently. 

" I love George," Catherine whispered, her voice gentle in the room. Hazel and Lizzie's eyes widened to the size of golfballs as they looked towards each other and to Catherine who was smiling. She was smiling so wide.

" AW! Catherine!!" Lizzie squealed, putting her hands to her cheeks and squealing like a teenager again. Catherine blushed hiding her face as Hazel let out an excited squeal falling back onto the bed.

" What happened? When did it happen? Have you kissed?" Lizzie asked her watching with wide eyes. Catherine sat up, looking so genuinely happy for the first time since the women were in New York with their paratrooper wings.

" Catherine, please I want to know!!" Hazel squealed, scooting forward and watching Catherine. 

" Alright, alright," Catherine said with a soft laugh," so do you guys remember VE Day?"

" Of course," Lizzie said with a grin.

" Well, George offered to take my drunk ass up to my room, and well things led to things and he ended up kissing me, maybe a little drunk himself, and I woke up with him beside me in bed." Catherine said. Both Hazel and Lizzie's eyes widened.

" Did you-"

" _NO_!" Catherine yelled throwing her hands up, blushing furiously, " No, no, no, we must've made out and then ended up falling asleep, neither of us remember much." Catherine slowly brushed hair behind her ear and smiled softly.

" And I think in that moment, I realized what love could be, I mean we were just friends really, and we knew each other's vulnerabilities, I've only ever cried in front of him and you two, if I'm being honest." Catherine said and both the women sighed, their hearts soft.

" You two are adorable," Hazel whispered softly, her eyes shining as Catherine blushed.

" I finally feel that maybe love isn't something I should be scared of," Catherine said softly, kneading her fingers together, " George makes me believe in love, a good love, a pure love. He makes me happier, and I feel that even though I know I'm a good person, he makes me an even better one." Catherine smiled to herself as Hazel let out a soft 'awwww'.

Hazel felt that seeing Catherine happy, and with someone who made her feel happy, and made her feel like herself, made Hazel happy. Because Catherine deserved happiness, it's all she wants at the end of this.

" Out there," Catherine whispered softly, looking towards the door, " I told him I loved him." The girls squealed, sitting closer watching Catherine's eyes shine.

" And he told me he loved me too," Catherine whispered and both Hazel and Lizzie let out even louder squeals.

" This is so cute, Catherine!!" Hazel said with shining eyes, putting her hands on her cheeks as she watched Catherine smile and blush all at once. 

" Wait, wait, wait, can you imagine their kids!" Lizzie said, before rolling off the bed and standing in front of them.

" Between your looks, George's eyes, both your smiles, your nose, his eyelashes, his hair, your children are going to be adorable!" Lizzie called, putting her hands on her cheeks and squealing. 

" Aw guys," Catherine whispered, " we haven't talked about that yet at least."

" YET!" Lizzie called jumping onto the bed, " You two are truly so adorable, I knew it in the way he started looking at you over the past two months, even back in Mourmelon, I saw the looks he gave you at meal time." Catherine met her eyes.

" What looks?" Catherine whispered.

" Oh you know, the one's where you were obliviously laughing at something Babe said, and he'd be watching, that fork almost to his mouth." Lizzie said and Catherine blushed further. 

" He was crushing on you," Hazel said softly with wide eyes, a soft gaze her way. Catherine looked at them and then blushed further.

" He just makes my heart race," she whispered, " and the looks, I never even noticed, I was too caught up in this war. It's why I'm glad, that he was there for me, when I wasn't there for myself." Lizzie and Hazel watched with soft eyes. 

" You two truly are adorable, really," Lizzie said and Catherine smiled.

" Knock knock," a voice whispered and the women looked at each other. Catherine slowly stood and walked over to the door before opening it up. George was back, treats from the officers in his arms, and that stupid smirk on his face. 

" Sorry, figured I'd grab it since I was sneaking around." he said with a grin as Lizzie and Hazel giggled behind Catherine. Catherine watched him. Her heart was warm.

" I love you," she whispered softly and George smirked, handing over the things to her arms, and gently pressing a proud kiss to her cheek in front of the two other woman, who held back their squeals. 

" Lizzie, Hazel, hello, ladies," he said with a wave and they grinned with waves," I gotta actually go now, before Winters beats my ass for being here." Catherine giggled softly. George proudly smiled, before gently squeezing her arm and giving her a wink before moving out down the hall. Catherine slowly shut the door with her feet and then turned to the 2 women.

" You better keep him around that little finger of yours." Lizzie said with a smile, " He loves you, Catherine, I can see it in his eyes, he loves you so much."

And Catherine smiled, she smiled wide.


	36. sisterhood

" Sisterhood is many wonderful things. It's a warm smile on a cod and rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello. It's treasured. It's eternal. It's knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It's dreams shared, and goals achieved. It's counting on others and being counted on. It is **_real_**."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

The rest of the night, the women spent talking, nibbling on the treats that George had gratefully delivered, dancing around a bit to the music on the radio, which crackled through softly. They finished the night staring up and out at the stars from Catherine's balcony. 

And Catherine of course had to bring up Joe Liebgott which sent Lizzie squealing over the balcony, which swung out into the down town street. They didn't know yet, but Hazel knew she wanted to. Hazel gently brought up her knees to her chest with a soft smile, staring 1,000 yards away.

" He kissed me," Hazel whispered and both women suddenly grew quiet, watching Hazel with wide eyes," and you know, when they hold you real close, and they don't let go?" Hazel watched the two women with shining eyes. 

" He held me like I was his whole word." Hazel whispered, gently touching her soft lips, at the mere thought of Joe. Whenever she thought of him now, she felt so gentle, so calm, so at peace, just so knowing that she had someone like Joe in her life, a man like Joe.

" It's because you are his whole world," Catherine whispered leaning forward to place a gentle hand on her knee. Hazel met her eyes softly, with a tiny smile. 

" You really think that?" Hazel whispered softly, smiling just at the thought of his dorky little smile.

" I know so!" Lizzie said jumping up from her bed in complete utter excitement," Don't make me give you a full analytical analysis of this boy and the love eyes I saw in him over a year ago to this day." Hazel and Catherine laughed lightly, suspecting it were a joke. 

" I'm serious," Lizzie said," December 31st, 1942, Joe Liebgott walks in with a fresh boutique of yellow flowers for Hazel, when she's tragically ill-"

" Are you going to talk like Shakespeare the entire time?" Catherine said as Lizzie looked at her.

" No," Lizzie said, and then she squealed, " I'm just, I'm happy, you know, I know the way Joe's always looked at you Hazel, they didn't make me a medic for nothing." Hazel watched her with shining eyes. 

" So! Tell us!" Catherine said placing a hand on Hazel's shoulder, " I know the feeling of just wanting to talk about him." Hazel blushed at the thought.

" He makes me happy," Hazel whispered as Lizzie held a hand to her heart," of course you two make me happy, but with him, he always found a way to make me feel better, feel loved, like I were the center of attention, just little things that showed me he cared." Hazel sighed softly, her eyes so lovesick, it was like she was on a high. She was so dreamy, her thoughts staying on him.

" And he'd always do that thing you know, where he'd glance at you with that dorky smirk and then he'd look back down before looking at you again with a smile," Hazel whispered and then she blushed further, " he laughed at my jokes too. I'm not super funny either." Catherine literally died right then and there at the complete utter adorableness in front of her of Hazel speaking about Joe.

" I don't know if I've ever been this happy," she whispered," because love was so hard. And Joe, he really makes me think that maybe love isn't as hard as I thought it was." Hazel looked up and met Catherine and Lizzie's shining eyes on the bed as a gentle Billie Holiday song played on the radio. The soft light in the room was infectious, and the open bay doors, that let in the warm breeze from the lake and the dark night with twinkling stars, was so gentle and so calming. Hazel felt clean, content, and most importantly happy. 

" And when he told me he loved me? It felt like I was home." Hazel whispered, as Catherine and Lizzie audibly sighed, holding hands to their hearts.

" I can't even begin to describe how adorable you two are around each other, he turns into one of the sappiest people around you and I think it is the cutest thing," Catherine whispered, " you've always been his little soft spot." Hazel blushed, shaking her head. 

" He makes me so happy, guys," Hazel whispered, " I didn't know you could feel this happy." Lizzie smiled like a giddy teenager.

" I never talked about Paris much did I?" she whispered softly looking up at the two on the soft comforter. Catherine smiled - she remembered Joe saying that seeing Hazel in Paris, he had seen her so genuinely happy. Lizzie felt her heart warm. 

" You didn't," Lizzie whispered, " we figured it was yours and Joe's little thing together." Then Lizzie smiled as Catherine nodded. Hazel proceeded to blush.

" I told him about my past," she said softly with a smile to the two," and he listened to every word, so intently. Watching me with those soft brown eyes, that little dorky smile he does." Hazel giggled to herself at the memory.

" And he told me I was the strongest woman he ever knew - besides Mama of course." Hazel said with a grin," He loves his mom." Catherine and Lizzie watched Hazel talking about Joe, so ungodly in love. And love in times of war, it was scary, you could lose that person you love, and then regret your decisions, but now love seemed to be the only thing saving each of them whether it be sisterly love, brotherly love, or paternal love. 

Love was essential for life, no matter what. And love was something that was okay to feel, love was something everyone deserved to feel and sometimes people found it even in the darkest times, their lowest moments, or their breaking facades, but love was powerful, love was always so prevalent and most importantly it was okay to love someone no matter what situation you were in. Love was love and you couldn't force someone not to love another. Humans love humans and a true and pure love was always valid. 

_Love._

" But, Joe isn't the only person I love," Hazel said and looked to the two women who smiled softly at her, " you two taught me a love that was like a sisterhood, an unbreakable bond, a love as if you were my sisters." Hazel watched them, playing with the ends of her uncut hair.

" I never knew what it was like to have sisters like you two," Hazel whispered," but you two taught me that, to love me, to love myself, who I am, my past, my present, everything, you taught me that. To be a strong woman, who's proud of herself, proud of who she has become, proud of being a woman. My mom was always who I looked up to, but that was it, and she'd been through so much that knowing I can look up to you too, was something even more beautiful and special than I'd ever thought, I can't thank you enough for showing me what love can be like." Hazel saw the tears in Catherine and Lizzie's eyes shining even in the slightly dim light. And Hazel felt her heart warm, as tears filled her own little eyes.

" It's okay to love someone, even in their darkest times, or the world's darkest time, and love seems to be the only thing that has managed to pull me through," Hazel whispered, " it's okay to love someone, especially for who they are. Most importantly." Catherine let her lip quiver.

" I love you Hazel," Catherine whispered scooting closer to hug Hazel close to her, biting back her lip as Hazel hugged back, shutting her own eyes, for a moment of peace.

" Aw c'mere," Lizzie whispered as a tear crawled down her cheek as Hazel pulled her into a warm hug, " I love you, Tiny, so much." Hazel felt a sniffle rising and shut her eyes. 

" Damn it Hazel, always making me cry," Lizzie said with a slight laugh as she pulled back wiping her eyes as she did so and Catherine laughed.

" We are always crying together," Catherine said with a laugh as Hazel giggled.

" It's because half the time the guys don't know what to do when we cry," Lizzie said and the women laughed lightly. It was nice to have girl time, just together with each other, alive and breathing and truly just happy. It was something they needed after all the fear and trauma, they all needed this. 

The following morning after the night spent in Catherine's room, Catherine got coffee brought in by one of the runner's of Winters own. The women eventually forced themselves to dress in their ODs again and Hazel had managed to braid her hair up with help from Lizzie who was slowly teaching her through out the days that were upon them. Hazel had never learned to braid, her mother was always working every hour she could to support the family, to support Hazel, her child. 

But her mother had integrity. 

A lot of it. 

And she worked for so long to support the home and her family. Hazel admired her for it. Hazel finally laced up her shows and then took the little leap off the edge of the bed before her feet hit the ground.

" I swear, I had two replacements coming in complaining about headaches just before I came in here yesterday and I asked them what they did and they replied alcohol. I was like what else did you expect to happen? Sprout daisies and become a fairy?" Lizzie said as the two women chuckled towards her.

" Some never learn, Lizzie," Catherine said.

" Says the one with the iron stomach," Lizzie answered back as Catherine smiled proudly.

" Beat ole Bill Guarnere that one time in Aldbourne with this, I showed him up good." she said with a laugh.

" You still waiting for the 22nd to drink?" Lizzie asked Hazel who sat, neatly folding her pant legs. 

" Yeah," she answered and sighed, " Tab promised me a drink anyway last year near Carentan, I figured I'd let him look forward to that." The two smiled.

" I swear he better buy you one of the gentler drinks and not start you out with something like Tequila and three shots of vodka." Catherine said, " I'll beat his ass." 

" Boy would I pay to see that, if anything I think you'll like white wine best," Lizzie said and Hazel smiled gently.

" That's my mom's favorite you know," Hazel said as she stood adjusting her dog tags and Star of David, " she always got it from the local winery in town, and would have a glass usually on Friday's as she looked out at the sunset."

" Your mom sounds so lovely, I hope we get to meet her one day," Catherine said.

" You'll have to stop by, when this war is finally over and we can go back home, she knows so much about you two already." Hazel said and the two women smiled.

" We'll just have to wait and see how this is all goes down, Operation Virago spilling out to general population," Lizzie said, " I'll wear that medal on my damn forehead for all I care, I fought this war, I'll be proud about it too." 

" You said it," Catherine said and Lizzie grinned proudly with a little bow.

" Thank you," she said, " I'm just gonna be pissed because who cares if we're women? We fought in the war, we're part of the reason half of the guys aren't as dead as they were or even better yet recused. We all got wounded for this country, mine as well be respected for it too." 

" No stopping Lizzie when she's fired up," Catherine said and Lizzie smirked.

" Oh I could go on!" she said, " But for your sanity, I'll hold myself, we have to get some training in today anyway." 

" Don't remind me," Catherine sighed, " I have to make sure Nixon's not drinking away on Vat 69, but I give him credit, he slipped me some the other day without batting an eye. The man is BRAVE." Hazel and Lizzie chuckled softly.

" Cath?" a voice called.

" Yes?" she called through the door.

" Okay, Jesus, Your Worship, just saying that the clocks ticking and those reports are not writing themselves," Nixon called back through the door as Catherine chuckled looking at them.

" Fitting nickname?" she asked.

" Oh very," Lizzie answered as Hazel giggled. Catherine went to her work on her reports as Lizzie was ushered away by Gene and Hazel had to move to the practice fields where they were back to the grind on PT training and all the crap associated with it. Speirs was real good at leading the group in PT, he was a lot like Thermes in a way and he always made sure if he did the exercise, he was doing it with Easy Company, with every member. 

And boy did Hazel need a long shower afterwards, showering in 2nd Platoon's shower as she was listening to Babe and Chuck argue over cards outside as they took watch for her. It felt good after a long day of PT to clean herself up fully. When she stepped out, she dressed in her bottoms and then pulled her OD top on.

" What could you possibly be fighting about my entire shower?" Hazel asked as she brushed a hand through her wet hair standing above them.

" Well, Tiny, Babe here decided-"

" Oh c'mon Chuck you clearly cheated," Babe scoffed. Hazel slowly sat down beside Chuck and looked at the cards.

" Go fish?" she asked them with a slight smile.

" Yeah," Babe said," and he cheated." Hazel giggled.

" How do you even cheat at Go Fish?" she asked them and Chuck chuckled.

" I asked him for an 8, diamonds, and he gave me a look, but I knew he had one yet he told me Go Fish," Babe said.

" It's called strategy, Edward," Chuck said with a laugh as Babe grumbled.

" Cheater," Babe muttered as Hazel laughed.

" You two are too funny," she said with an innocent giggle. 

" He still cheated," Babe said but Hazel giggled at the smirk upon his face.

" Right," Hazel whispered looking at the card game, " I'll see you two later, don't brawl for me at least."

" Wouldn't dream of it." Chuck called as she left chuckling. Hazel stepped out and towards where 2nd platoon was and slowly stepped inside a smile on her face. 

When she did she found it was to be oddly quiet, with 2nd platoon all in it. Catherine stood, a paper shaking in her grasp, as Tab watched her with sad eyes. 

Everyone looked sad. 

_What had she missed?_

Hazel then met Joe's eyes and watched them fill with sadness seeing her enter. 

No, no, no Joe's eyes and sadness were two things she never wanted to draw the lines with and connect ever again.

" Hey," she said softly, " what's going on?" Catherine noticed Hazel and suddenly let out a soft sigh, putting a hand to her face.

" Hazel..." Catherine whispered as Hazel stepped forward.

" What happened?" she said as noticed Joe coming forward.

" Hazel, please-"

" What is going on?" Hazel said firmly, watching their eyes with sadness, " Why are you all looking at me like this?" Hazel watched them.

" It's Shifty, Hazel," Catherine whispered, and Hazel felt an ungodly, resounding pit develop in her chest. 

" Shifty?" she whispered suddenly, " What happened? He was going home, he's okay! Right?" Catherine slowly folded up the paper shaking in her grasp and let out a shaky sigh.

" On the way to the boat, Shifty was hit head on, his car was hit on his side," Catherine said watching Hazel's eyes well with tears, " broken pelvis, a concussion, and a broken arm, but he's stable. He'll be okay." Hazel bit back her trembling lip. She nodded. She had to keep nodding so that she wouldn't start crying. 

But then she saw Joe in her vision, slowly wrapping his arms around her small frame and pulling her closer in his grasp, his warm arms which felt like it were home, as she grasped onto him, and finally let the cries that she had felt for too long finally explode into his chest, as he held her there. 

2nd platoon was quiet, their own pain filtering through Hazel's cries. They'd never heard her cry before, they'd never seen her cry. They always thought she had been strong because of it, because of the fact she didn't cry, but maybe she just was good at hiding it as Joe held her softly in his grasp, pressing soft kisses to her temple where her head forced itself into his chest, as she sniffled and let out whimpering cries. 

When would the constant heartbreak end? 

When would someone finally make it home without complete and utter pain or wounds or scars? 

When would someone finally go home safely, without harm? 

But in war, no one would go home without a scar. 

No one. 

That's what hurt. 

Knowing it was Shifty made it worse, but the fact that another person of Easy was going home, wounded, yet again was just too much. 

And he had deserved it the most. 

Joe had lead Hazel outside to the docks for air, as she was taking in pretty fast shuttering cries. Now, she sat beside him, feet hanging over the dock, body slumped. Joe was beside her, arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him. Hazel just wanted the sadness to end and for some happiness for a change. But instead, she was stuck staring at the ripples in the lake, thinking about the fact that Shifty had gotten hurt just trying to get home. But Joe was there for her, sitting beside her, simply there for her. Hazel always appreciated the fact he was there for her.

" Thanks, Joe," she whispered softly, sniffling slightly, " you always have to deal with me crying." Joe smiled softly and gently have her a little squeeze.

" I don't care about that, Hazel," Joe said, " I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you and Shifty were close." Hazel nodded against him and sniffled again. She stared at her hands and looked at her nails feebly, her hands looked so worn down. Hazel directed her focus up to the stars instead.

" The stars are bright tonight, Joe," she whispered, her eyes shining before she glanced towards Joe with a smile, a soft one, slightly weak even at that, but there at least. Joe knew she was feeling a little better if she were talking about the stars. 

" I see Cassiopeia," she whispered, " she's just a little star." Joe smiled.

" Like you," he said, gently squeezing her shoulder and Hazel giggled softly, " with your little hands." Joe gently took her hands in his, brushing his fingers over the palms.

" I have quite tiny hands," she said with a giggle, as Joe nuzzled his face into her neck, before softly placing a kiss there and leaning back watching the blush grow across her features.

" I think they're adorable." he said as Hazel finally smiled softly looking up at him. 

" What did I do to deserve you, Joe?" she whispered, watching him with gentle hands.

" Maybe I'm just a pretty cool guy," Joe said as he softly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side, " who loves a beautiful woman." Hazel looked up at him, curled into his side. 

" Is it okay sometimes, if I don't feel beautiful?" she whispered to him. Joe softly watched her and nodded.

" Of course," he said, " but just know, I'll be telling you everyday that you are." Hazel felt a smile move across her face as she snuggled into his side and Joe held her closer, with even more warmth encasing her. 

" Remember back at Thalem?" she asked him," Where I sort of went off on my own?" Joe nodded - he remembered - she had still been very upset about everything and had gone off alone. Joe had let her, he knew she needed that alone time with herself. He nodded.

" A little birdie flew up to me," she said and glanced up towards him, with a gentle smile, " a little blue one, with the white underbelly, they're the cutest ones, and he looked at me." Joe watched Hazel bite back her lip, nodding.

" So, naturally, I started talking to it," she said and Joe smiled.

" Of course," he answered with a boyish grin.

" And it twittered back, ya know - _tweet_ , _tweet_ ," she said and Joe laughed as she giggled to herself, " and it was like it understood me, and after some attempts, it eventually trusted me, hopping up onto my finger, and looking at me. You know what I thought?" Joe watched her, mesmerized.

" Maybe I'm not a hopeless little birdie after all," she whispered, wringing her hands together in front of her, " I felt like one, in the hospital, when I could barely walk, when I didn't feel myself, but the mental battle, it was tough, real tough, and the only way I got through it was to just push myself, ya know? And I finally didn't feel like that hopeless birdie, I felt like the free bird on my finger, with the little blue tuff on its head." Hazel smiled to herself with a small laugh, before shaking her head. 

Could it be possible that Joe had just gotten even more attracted to Hazel than he already was, in love with her entire being? Joe just watched her speak under the stars as her eyes shined, and swore she had never been so beautiful like that. But he had listened to her words, each and every one.

" I would've never thought of you as a hopeless bird, Hazel," Joe said rubbing his hands together with a grin, " but your little description was pretty cute." Hazel was pretty sure that there were hearts in her eyes. She never realized how often he called her cute, it made her heart race. 

" I hope he's doing okay," she said and glanced up at him, " he looked lonely."

" Maybe he just wanted to be alone," Joe suggested with a small smile and Hazel grinned.

" Maybe he did," she whispered softly and met his eyes. She grinned again. 

" Do you have little birdies in San Fransisco Joe?" she asked him, her curious eyes watching him int he starlight. Joe smirked at her.

" You just want to hear about San Fransisco again don't you?" Joe said and Hazel grinned with a tiny laugh, nodding.

" Alright, well," Joe said as he pulled her closer like he was about to read her a bedtime story, just by a shimmering lake, " my mom has a garden at the back of her house, you know, tomatoes, vines, lettuce, bunch of shit like that.."

" Which is healthy for you," Hazel said softly and Joe smirked.

" What? No Hershey bars?"

" No," Hazel said with a laugh, " I don't believe Hershey bars grow on trees." Joe chuckled shaking his head. 

" But what if they did?" he asked with a smirk, his face drawing closer to her own.

" Then I would've been growing trees with Hershey bars on them a long time ago," she said as the two chuckled quietly together, before sighing. Joe smiled at her and then gently booped her nose making her giggle.

" Can you tell me more about your mother's garden?" Hazel said softly, her eyes glowing with that innocent curiosity. Joe smiled, genuinely.

" When I was a kid, my sisters and I would play hide'n'seek throughout the garden, and let me tell you Hazel, we trampled so many plants, I'd never seen my mom so fucking mad," Joe said as Hazel giggled at his expression, " but then she always found ways to use them, she was really resourceful, still is." Hazel watched Joe talk about his mom with such love, he loved her so much.

" And she'd curse me out in German some times," Joe said and Hazel raised a brow, " okay, most of the time, it'd be German." Hazel laughed as Joe chuckled.

" But you couldn't understand it, okay? And boy, the first born boy? Typical from a Mama Liebgott," he said," all us Liebgotts have strong mamas, but Mary Liebgott, she's the strongest." Hazel smiled at him. 

" She sounds lovely, Joe, really, especially with everything you've told me, she sounds like such a good mom," Hazel said and Joe smiled. He looked towards the lake and then looked at Hazel.

" Your mom doing okay?" he asked and Hazel smiled.

" She misses me, but she's one of the strongest people I know, Joe, I just want this war to end so that I can finally see her again." Hazel said with a sad sigh. 

Hazel missed her mother more than anything. Her mother she thought, was always so strong, Hazel had only ever seen or her head cry a few times in her life, mostly after her father left. But it seemed her mother only grew stronger, and the crying did stop, until she took up the mother and father duties of the house, and became an even stronger person because of it. 

That was strength. 

Joe was still watching her, she could see it from the corner of her eye, that he was watching her. She gave a small smile his way and then had to look down, blushing again. Joe loved when Hazel talked about her mother, because he knew how much Hazel missed her and loved her. 

The two sat quietly beside each other for a good portion of the night, simply enjoying being beside one another and hoping that maybe, this world full of sadness, would soon turn to one filled with light.


	37. panic

" When grief is deepest, words are fewest."

_\- Ann Voskamp_

✰✰✰

As the days rolled on with Easy, especially after Shifty's accident, there was a felt uptick in many of the paratroopers' of the need to get angry with people or fight, or walk around with a weapon in hand completely restless with nothing to do. 

Hazel told herself that she wouldn't shoot that gun at a person until she had to jump into Japan - she was done fighting a war with weapons and not words. So Hazel retreated to the bunking area of 2nd platoon most days, where maybe one or two members would be laying around for an afternoon nap when PT training was over, and write letters out to people that were gone from Easy. 

Her mother of course, but then out to Bill, Joe, Buck, Smokey, and now Shifty. They were fairly long letters, quite to long she felt, but she missed them more than she could imagine, and wrote her heart out into the letters for them to see. Sure, her handwriting, as mentioned by Frank in the hospital, was anything but neat and styled, but it was truthful, slightly messy handwriting, written with pure love.

And she visited APO sometimes for hours on end giving and receiving little letters and then running into Speirs and the two would end up cracking a joke or two before he was needed by Battalion Staff, ie Winters. 

And she spent many nights with Joe by the docks, and he would always let her rest her weary head in his lap and he'd run his fingers through hair, softly massaging away the worries, looking down at her in the moonlight, the epitome of beauty she thought as he would smile. He always knew how to calm her down, and just let her be herself with him.

She loved him, so much, and after that kiss, it was just like they were picking up where they left off, except maybe there were more secret kisses or Joe pulling her from the group to press a kiss to her lips in a tiny alley way, just to see her smile or giggle, or to see her eyes shine. 

It was the little things, Hazel always appreciated the little things, especially with Joe. 

Lizzie was sitting currently in the aid station, attempting to read the Grey's Anatomy book open in her lap, but she kept reading the same line over and over to the point where she didn't know what she was even reading anymore. 

It was just words on a page. 

Her mind tortured by the letter from her family about her grandmother, who was only getting sicker. It hurt more than Lizzie could imagine and she always felt it, but her grandmother was the one who had helped her so much and now this was going on and occurring. 

But for years almost half a decade, she had been fighting this slow and painful death that was consuming her. 

Lizzie felt a sense to throw something, but instead just slammed the book shut and slid it off her knees to the ground angrily, as it made a thump noise, before putting her head in her hands. She couldn't focus. She couldn't focus on anything. She tried having a conversation with Tab at breakfast but it went in one ear and out the other and left the conversation without as much as a good bye, before retreating here where she tried talking to Gene about their knew set of inventory, but instead kept staring at his eye and began wondering if she'd never see her grandmother's eyes again and soon enough had to just sit down alone. 

Now it was her and her stupid mind and she couldn't take it. 

The constant racing in her mind, the pounding of stress and anxiety in her heart, the need to be doing something every minute of the day, the stress, the panic, the worry. 

All of it. 

It was so much to handle. 

Coffee.

Lizzie quirked her head in the direction of where she knew Gene always would make sure coffee was in the quiet aid station. Lizzie stood. She had her good and bad days, ones where she felt perfectly fine and others where she couldn't ever focus, couldn't do her work properly without a shot of coffee or something of the sort. It sucked more than she could even imagine. 

So Lizzie poured herself a cup of coffee, gently taking it back, sip after sip until she felt her nerves slowly settling. She gripped the edge of the table, watching her hands tremor and shake slightly as they held it. 

Lizzie narrowed her eyes and forced her hands to steady, but instead they just shook harder, and finally Lizzie pushed back and away from her hands, staring at them shaking. She crossed her arms angrily and let out a soft sigh. I

t would be another bad day.

And coffee was the only thing to calm her racing heart and racing mind down. It sucked.

" Hey, Lizard." a voice said and Lizzie sighed, glancing back over her shoulder to see Tab there. 

" Hi," she said, before taking another sip as it felt like a bouncing ball was running in ever possible direction in her head. Tab raised a brow.

" You okay?" he asked her.

" Fine, I'm fine," she answered, staring out the window, her grasp on the table again, firm, trying to keep her hands from shaking, trying to hold herself, trying to grasp onto something, anything, to keep her from shaking, to keep her entire being somewhat steady.

" Lizzie, what's wrong?" Tab said and Lizzie shut her eyes. 

She was shaking. 

Her entire body was shaking, she was panicking, she was seeing them, she was seeing all of them, she was shaking, everywhere. 

Why wasn't the coffee working? 

She couldn't focus, what was going on?

" Get Gene," she said, her voice trembling. Tab was quiet.

" Tab, please, just get Gene!" Lizzie cried out, as tears bubbled down her cheeks, as her grasp became to unsteady to even hold onto the table. 

A sob escaped her lips, frustration crawling from every pore, as she heard the door to the outside burst open and footsteps disappearing. Lizzie felt herself collapse into a ball on the floor, curling around herself, her hands over her head, as sobs escaped her body, quivering on the floor, the coffee spilled over a few papers on the table, dripping beside her. 

_She was panicking._

_She was panicking._

_S_ _he was panicking._

_What was she panicking over?_

Her nerves felt like they were racing, her blood was coursing through her veins, and she felt herself breaking. 

What was going on? 

She was shaking. 

_Everywhere._

Her sobs were more like strained cries of that like a cat, in hiccups, in spasms. She was panicking. It was all she could think. Then the door burst open and two sets of footsteps came racing across the floor towards her.

" Hey, Lizzie, Lizzie, it's me, it's Gene," the voice said. 

_Gene._

Gene was the one with the soft eyes. She had to tell her mind that, to let herself open up to the voice, the voice that was Gene. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she was still shaking.

" Lizzie," Gene repeated, that same voice, " Lizzie, I'm right here, it's Gene." Lizzie's shaky hand slowly reached out blindly towards his own and he softly took it in his own. 

" Here, c'mere," Gene whispered and suddenly she felt warm, encased in a warm grasp, in simple warmth. It was a hug, someone's hug. Gene's hug. And soon enough, Lizzie was grasping onto him, like her life depended on it, trying to hide, to burrow away, get away from this cruel world.

" I'm here," Gene repeated softly, holding her as her cries came out in tortured breaks. Gene held her for a while - she needed to just be held, to have another person there. The 'attacks', where she grew panicked, anxious, frustrated because she couldn't focus or comprehend things like she used to from the hyperactivity disorder. But none had ever been this bad. 

Gene held her close, gently holding his hand against her head, his hand brushing over her hair, hoping a soothing, normal paced beat would calm her, a tempo, a beat. Gene looked over towards Tab, who sat with worried wide eyes. No one else knew about this, not even the women. It had been between Gene and Lizzie for months. Tab looked from Gene to Lizzie worriedly, before licking his lips.

" She okay?" Tab asked.

" She will be," Gene said, " thanks for getting me." Tab watched Gene and nodded. Tab had to trust the medic, that he knew what was going on.

" Don't worry," Gene promised, " she'll be okay, she just needs some time." Tab nodded worriedly. 

" Do you think she needs anything?" Tab asked Gene.

" I might just try to get her resting for a bit, usually rest is all she needs," Gene said.

" Wait," Tab said putting a hand on the medic's shoulder," this has happened before?" Gene watched him.

" Gene, I want to know, she's like my sister." Tab said.

" Yes," Gene, with fierce eyes, " for months, but she's strong." Tab watched Gene. The medic's eyes were firm, his touch soft, his care gentle. Tab gently watched Lizzie and then nodded. Lizzie, if anything, was like his annoying little sister, butting heads sometimes, but it was all good fun in the end - he'd never seen her this way. He was worried.

" Can you help me guide her up to the rooms?" Gene asked him. Tab nodded. 

" Hey," Tab said softly to Lizzie, who refused to look at him and nuzzled her head further into Gene's chest. Lizzie stayed still.

" Hey, Lizzie," Gene began quietly, gently brushing against her hair still," it's me, Gene." Lizzie sniffled. She tapped against his arm, her fingers still trembling slightly. 

" Want to head up, get you resting?" Gene asked quietly and Tab watched as Lizzie slowly nodded against him. 

Tab noticed how it seemed routine, like it were down to a science for the two medics, like they already knew how to handle the situation. Gene slowly helped Lizzie to her feet and Lizzie remained clinging onto him, eyes shielded by tears, hair, everything. She refused to look at people. It was like she had shut down and needed to restart.

" Here, I'll grab some blankets." Tab said and Gene nodded gratefully. By the time Gene had helped Lizzie into bed, Tab was parading into the room with a loud of blankets. But he walked in on the two talking, or Gene trying to make sure he listened to every word Lizzie said. 

" It happened again," Lizzie whispered, " where I panicked and couldn't stop." Her hands were shaking, and she fiddled with them to try and calm them down.

" I was fine, Gene, yesterday I mean, I was fine, and then today I just woke up so anxious and I couldn't concentrate." she whispered, " But I know tomorrow I'll wake up like today never happened. And I can't control it." Gene watched her with sad eyes and then noticed Tab at the door. Lizzie softly looked over and noticed Tab there. She sighed sadly, with a weak smile. Tab slowly entered the room.

" Sorry," Tab said, " I just got some blankets."

" Thanks, Tab," Lizzie said with a nod and a small smile and Tab nodded sadly. 

" I have to go back to the men," Tab said, " but whatever happened Lizzie, I'm sorry." Lizzie shrugged.

" I'm used to it." she said and Tab watched her sadly. She nodded. Tab slowly retreated. 

Used to it? 

Lizzie slowly met Gene's eyes again and clenched her fists.

" Hey, you're okay," Gene said reaching out to unclench her hands softly as Lizzie shook her head and let out a shaky sigh. 

" I got frustrated," Lizzie whispered, " I couldn't....focus...on the book, the book was just..I couldn't focus on it. I kept rereading lines, I just was so frustrated." She felt the stress filled her more and Gene gently rubbed his fingers over her skin.

" Lizzie, it's okay, remember that," Gene said as Lizzie watched him, slowly breathing in and out. Her out breaths were shaky, but she felt her heart calming down finally. Watching his eyes usually calmed her down on these darker days and she was thankful for it. But no one else knew, and she was determined to keep it that way. 

This....disorder...it was viewed as if you were unworthy, a mark on society, Lizzie was too scared to tell anyone, even her closest friends, maybe one day, but today when she was still struggling with all the new complexities, she didn't need to build up any more barriers. 

Gene stayed with her for a while, letting her talk to him, about her mind, even if it were just in spits of information, where she had to give up a few times because she couldn't gather her thoughts, but he stayed and listened the entire time. 

Catherine was the one that found the two later that night. Lizzie was asleep on her side in the bed, a blanket cuddled around her and Gene was in a chair by her side, face down in his arms on the bed right beside her head, resting peacefully. Catherine softly watched them and then gently flicked out the nearby light and shut the door gently. 

They deserved some rest for a night, after everything. 

Catherine found Dick, Nixon and Harry all sat together near one of the big balconies looking out over the lake of Zell Am See, talking quietly, their voices carrying slightly.

" Hey," Catherine said and gently took the last open beside Harry with a sigh.

" Rough day?" Harry asked her. Catherine raised a brow at him and he offered her the flask in his hand. She smirked and took it, guzzling down a gleeful sip.

" Thanks, and no, I just....this is nice." Catherine said looking out towards the lake, the homes around the lake aglow at night.

" It's nice," Dick said," never thought we'd be here." He glanced towards Nixon who smirked with a nod.

" Thanks to me, you can believe." Nixon told the group and Catherine smiled, kicking up her feet.

" You guys think about the Pacific yet?" she asked them, staring up at the stars. She knew Dick was watching her almost in seconds and so was Nixon.

" Well, I'm surprised you don't know yet." Nixon said and Catherine looked towards him.

" What?" Catherine asked. She met Harry's eyes, but Harry looked down.

" Star-spangled applied for a transfer," Nixon said, as he pointed at Dick. Catherine watched Dick with wide eyes. It was deafly quiet. 

" It was Guts and Glory earlier," Harry muttered in the quiet. Catherine felt her mouth twitch.

" Why?" 

" I figured, get me to the war earlier, get it done and over with." Dick stated. Catherine narrowed her eyes.

" And you agreed with this?" Catherine said looking at Nixon who let out a drag of smoke.

" Oh, I'm going along too." Nixon said and Catherine's eyes widened. No, no, no! These two were her boys, Dick and Lew, her brothers!!

" Well, then I'm coming too," Catherine said and almost immediately Nixon was sitting up, holding his hand out as Dick gave her a look.

" No," Nixon stated and Catherine scoffed.

" No?" Catherine said, crossing her arms, " If I'm going to war, I'm going with you guys." 

" We don't know if we got the transfer yet-"

" I don't care, I'm going with you two." Catherine said. Then she glanced at Harry.

" What about you?" she asked him. He was quiet and shook his head, no. 

One more life saved.

" I'm still going with you two, I can't let you do this alone." she said looking between the two. Nixon and Dick looked at each other and then back towards Catherine. 

" We know about George." Nixon said. Catherine's heart stopped.

" Don't bring George into this." she threatened firmly, eyes narrowed like ice. It grew quiet. Her heart was racing.

" I'm not letting you two go to war, without me with you. I've fought this entire war with you two," Catherine said, pleading, " this whole war, I've been with you two, I can't let you two just go jump out there. I want to be with you." Harry watched her and then gently placing a hand on her knee and patted it gently. Catherine let her shoulders slump.

" The company needs you, Cath," Dick said and Catherine shook her head, " Ron needs you, for the bettering of the company. You've been with them this whole time." Catherine sighed. She knew they were right, for making the decision they wanted to make on the situation, they could do whatever they wanted, but the two of them were like her brothers and they understood her in their own ways, and appreciated her for who she was, a leader, an officer. 

" You'll be careful, right?" Catherine said looking up at the two of them, " For the company?" Nixon smirked.

" I'll be sure to keep him out of trouble," Nixon said and Dick rolled his eyes with a tiny smile. Catherine let out a worried smile, and a tiny laugh as Harry gently patted her knee again, a comfort she needed.

" Thanks," Catherine said. She wouldn't ever stop worrying for those two, they were like her brothers, people she loved, so she couldn't ever say she wouldn't worry, but she had to trust them. 

The rest of the night together was spent with them chatting together, and Catherine relishing what may be of their last few weeks together. 


	38. soft

" I told the stars about you."

_\- d.j._

✰✰✰

That night Hazel had dinner with Speirs in his office - supposedly there was a new variation of her weapon coming out for the Pacific theater and the variation sat right in his office, like it were the most prized thing. Speirs was very much in-tune with the method of snipers, he was basically Hazel's number one fan and literally made it like it was his birth right for her to have representation everywhere. The field, PT, maneuvers, everywhere. 

Bill Guarnere would've been proud.

" It's beautiful," Hazel said as she lifted the weapon out of the encasing, holding it up within her grasp. 

" And..." Speirs said leaning across his desk to grab something from an open drawer. It was a new version of the Redfield Scope.

" Whoa," Hazel said taking it and admiring it with wide eyes.

" This..." Hazel said," this is fantastic." Speirs smirked, crossing his arms and smiling at her.

" Friggin miracle, it was almost on backlog." Speirs said eyes wandering over the weapon. Hazel smirked. Speirs watched as Hazel held the weapon up as if she were taking aim, with perfect, precise, expert level form. 

" It's so much lighter as well," she said weighing it out.

" Of course, at the end of the war as well, but you know." Speirs said and Hazel laughed. 

" Where'd you learn to shoot?" he asked her, " I know you just didn't walk into the military, pick up a weapon and become a sniper." Hazel quirked out a small smile.

" My dad." she answered, her grip growing firm against the weapon. 

" He must be proud." Speirs said and Hazel shrugged.

" He left 13 years ago, I wouldn't say that." she said, but her tone wasn't angry or snappy. It was calm, a scary calm. 

" Sorry," Speirs said quietly but Hazel met his gaze.

" His fault." she said as Speirs met her gaze. Hazel had come to terms with her father in November 1944 when she had written that letter to him. It was his fault, not Hazel or her mother's his own. And Hazel never had to see him again if she didn't want to. And sometimes families didn't work out the way they were planned. Hazel had let him torture her mind for too long, and she had been sick and tired of the thoughts that had consumed her brain. She wouldn't allow it to continue. 

" It doesn't bother me like it used to," Hazel said, looking down the barrel of the weapon, down towards the scope, " used to eat me alive, if you call it. But he doesn't control me. I learned that after a full war, but no one controls me except myself. It was a hard lesson to learn, but worth it." Speirs watched the woman stand with the weapon, so firm, so confident, so proud, so expert like.

" Well, I'm proud of you," Speirs said and Hazel glanced at him with a smile. He'd been more of a brother or father like figure than her dad she felt had been in those few years where he struggled. 

" Thank you, sir." she said with a soft smile. Speirs smiled and then crossed his arms.

" Dad wasn't around too much, but he worked a lot, still works a lot, never had much time with him," Speirs said and Hazel smiled softly at him.

" But it made me strong, strong by myself and I see myself in you, Hazel, you're strong just by yourself." Speirs said and Hazel felt her grin spread.

" I try, sir, and I don't want it to sound the way it does, but I could see the growth in myself, getting stronger with who I was, with myself, all of it," Hazel said.

" Hey, you're more humble than I am about it," Speirs said, " because I've seen it too." Hazel laughed lightly.

" I think you're still pretty humble, sir," she said, " shall I bring up Foy?" Speirs smirked.

" How'd you know about that?"

" I know a rather gullible radioman, who tells rather good stories." she said and Speirs smirked proudly.

" Yeah, just another day on the job." Speirs said with a laugh and Hazel laughed lightly, shaking her head.

" Humble," Hazel said and the two were left snickering that night, dinner cold on the plates by the door. 

The fact that Hazel thought PT training with Speirs was enough to scare any natural passer-bye. But in actuality, it was fun and with Hazel feeling more confident in who she was, stronger mentally and physically, she felt capable of doing more and more, and Hazel could see Catherine and Lizzie in the same light. 

They were insanely strong - she was sure George had heart eyes watching Catherine flip the tire through the mud, smirking almost maliciously the entire time. 

But Catherine knew she was strong, and that's what made her beautiful. 

Hazel even had fun on the runs through the town, the 6 mile ones. Maybe it were the fact Zell Am See was absolutely breathtaking in every inch and form. The snowcapped peaks, the rolling mountains spread out the lake, dipping into the valley of the little town, the bright sunlight, the crickets chirping in the soft, golden sunlight, each and every bit, even the birds fluttering overhead and dipping into trees. 

Yeah, that definitely made the run more enjoyable than the cold mountains of North Carolina. 

But Hazel managed at night to find time to spend alone with Joe, and she felt that's what made the news of jumping into the Pacific more palpable. 

Sometimes it was in the late afternoon before mess on the docks, sitting side by side, talking, getting the time to just talk to each other, or sometimes it was at the mess hall and they'd be like children kicking each other's feet back and forth, or even sometimes it'd be a little jump scare as Joe would jump onto her bed and they'd read together until one grew sleepy and had to make it not super obvious that Joe was drooling half asleep on her shoulder, cuddled like a little boy. 

They were some of the moments Hazel wished they had together after this war as well, away from this all, just the two of them. 

But now it was just the two of them in the barracks, where 2nd platoon stayed, Joe's head in her lap as he was nearly fast asleep, her fingers running through his soft, chocolate locks, massaging against his little head, making him turn into that innocent boy again curled up, in exhaustion. He always grew like that around her, because he could let his guard that he kept up so high finally fall down again. 

Hazel liked soft Joe.

Even though when he was angry, she wasn't denying that it was rather hot, dare she say. 

Hazel glanced down towards him, watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest, his eyelids gently closed over his brown eyes, his face so relaxed and so gentle. 

How could one person be so adorable simply just asleep in her lap? 

Hazel couldn't keep the smile that twitched on her lips from her face as she continued softly brushing her fingers through his hair, something recently he loved more often. So usually when Hazel hugged him, she would run her hands through his hair a bit - he loved it the most out of anything. But Hazel felt personally, it was so calming, just to have someone do that. 

Joe did it the best though she felt, he was so gentle with her, it made her heart warm. A bunch of the guys were out to the local bars in the town and wouldn't be back until late, but Hazel and Joe took as time to be together instead, just some quiet time alone. 

The door slowly opened and Hazel's heart jumped at the sound but it was just Catherine, poking her head in.

" Hey," Catherine said quietly, noticing Joe asleep in her lap, " oh, sorry, I didn't realize he was asleep." 

" It's fine," Hazel said softly with a glowing smile as her fingers softly continued to brush through his hair. Catherine gently shut the door and then approached the two, sitting on the bed next to them and then smiling.

" You guys are adorable, seriously," Catherine said as Hazel blushed a bit and giggled glancing down towards Joe as he continued sleeping soundly. 

" He deserves a bit of rest every once in a while, just alone, without stress," Hazel said, continuing to run her fingers through his locks. Catherine smiled at the pure love on Hazel's face. 

" What's up?" Hazel asked her, looking over towards Catherine. 

" Dick and Nix are thinking about heading out to war early, in the Pacific." Catherine said, " I was thinking about it too." Hazel's eyes widened.

" Catherine..." Hazel whispered and Catherine sighed shaking her head.

" They want me to stay here with the Company and with Ron, they think the company needs me more." Catherine admitted. Hazel softly let her shoulders ease from the tension and nodded.

" I think the company needs you as well," Hazel said, " you're one of the best Lieutenants we've had and you've fought this entire war, you've just always been there for this company." Catherine smiled. 

" And G-" Catherine put a finger to her lips and pointed to Joe.

" George." mouthed Hazel and Catherine nodded. 

" I couldn't leave that dork alone now could I?" Catherine said and Hazel giggled, shaking her head.

" Probably not." she said and Catherine grinned. 

" Catherine?" Hazel asked her. Catherine looked up and met her gaze.

" Does, um, does..." Hazel mouthed the word George," does he feel like home?" Catherine smiled softly, and then looked at her hands, like a giddy teenager. 

" Every time I see him," Catherine whispered and Hazel smiled wide.

" Joe feels like home," Hazel whispered, as her gentle fingers continued through his hair, and then she giggled a bit, " I never knew home could also be a person." Catherine and her met eyes and then smiled. 

" I'll let you two be, alright? I have to find Lizzie anyway, they just keep sending more supplies in." Catherine said and Hazel giggled.

" Have fun with that, Mack." she said and Catherine chuckled.

" We'll see what happens, hopefully those supply officers don't take out an eye." Catherine said and Hazel softly giggled at her comment. Catherine left the two with a smile. 

Zell Am See that night was bathed in the sunset, oranges and goldens reflecting everywhere across the town, on windows, store fronts, it was beautiful. And she knew it meant everyone was in a good mood, when she heard the tiny radio that Gene had set up in the aid station on. Lizzie always knew every song on the radio and she usually hummed joyfully to them or even sung a few tunes like her good friend Joe Toye. They had sung together a few times so now with him gone, she took up both parts and managed. 

So, when Catherine entered the aid station, she noticed the warm breeze drifting throughout, some of the windows open letting in light and air, the music playing throughout the hall where the aid station was, and a few medics working about the place, while one whistled. 

Lizzie. 

Lizzie came around the corner with a box whistling her own little tune to herself and then she saw Catherine.

" Mack!" she called excitedly and Catherine grinned.

" There's my favorite medic." Catherine said and Lizzie chuckled.

" Be careful, don't let Gene hear that, he did drag you across Normandy," Lizzie said and Catherine chuckled.

" I heard that," Gene's voice said as he appeared around the corner with a smirk on his face the boxes in his hands waiting to be put down. The two women laughed. 

" What's up?" Lizzie asked.

" Supply officer just brought in a crap load of supplies, it's all laid out, but I can get some guys working on bringing it in." Catherine said and Lizzie glanced past her out of the door. 

" Yeah, that sounds good, and OH! Gene! Gene! You have to tell her your story, I swear I could've kissed him." Lizzie said yanking Gene's arm over towards her. Catherine raised a brow at Lizzie as Lizzie hauled Gene towards the two.

" About Jenkins," Lizzie said and a smirk spread on Catherine's face.

" Please tell me it's Gene beating the shit out of him or something," Catherine said crossing her arms excitedly.

" Even better," Gene said, with a smirk of his own on his face, and Catherine grinned, " I took the night shift at the aid station, figured Lizzie could use some sleep. And I'm working around here, trying to stay quiet, doing my thing and this guy comes walking in, with this body on his back and it's Jenkins." Catherine watched him.

" Drunk as a skunk let me tell ya, I could smell the alcohol on him just 10 feet away, it was horrible. So the guy that brought him in tells me that he got in a fight with one of the other Dog members who was dancing with the girl he wanted to dance with."

" Typical." 

" And so I clean him up, best I can, sure the urge to just throw him to the street again was enough to make me go insane, but you know self-control." Gene said and the two women laughed.

" And I was up with this shithead all night," muttered Gene and Catherine snorted. She could only imagine Gene having to care for this man baby. 

" So, he wakes up in the morning, like 6 am, and he starts thinking I'm Lizzie." Gene said and Catherine watched him.

" You can't be-"

" Serious?" Gene said, a humorous tone in his words, " Oh, I'm very serious."

" I mean, there's clearly a difference, with blonde and dark brown but ya know people driving cars can't understand the difference between red and green so." Catherine snorted. 

" And so what happened?" Catherine asked.

" He tried to get up and start dancing with me," Gene said and Catherine smirked.

" How many drinks did he have?"

" Way too many drinks for my personal sanity." Gene said, " So, naturally I have to restrain him back down and then he starts calling me his mom, whatever was going on it was the weirdest experience I had in my entire life." 

" And when he left, tell her what you said when he left," Lizzie said to Gene with glowing eyes. And Gene smirked, a real, genuine smirk.

" He was convinced I was Lizzie still and kept asking to dance, and so as I shoved him out of the door, I simply just said ' I'd rather remove my gallbladder with an oyster fork'." The two women burst out laughing and Gene snickered to himself. 

" And he got the strangest look out of him, man I wish I was there." Lizzie said and Catherine snorted.

" Probably doesn't even know what an oyster fork is," Catherine said as the group chuckled together, " well, I better get going, before Speirs takes my head." 

" You have fun with that, Mack," Lizzie called as Catherine threw up a waving hand and moved out of the light-hearted aid station, a gentle Billie Holiday song following her - those were Lizzie's favorites. 


	39. peace

" First keep peace with yourself, then you can also bring peace to others."

_\- Thomas a Kempis_

✰✰✰

July brought upon warm weather which meant that any free time allotted, it was spent swimming in lake Zell Am See, where the warm air was sweet, sticking to your skin, the water lapped gently against the dock or the rocks up against the soil, the breeze made the leaves brush together in a way that reminded Hazel of home, and little birds fluttered about everywhere as the crickets sometimes chirped even during the day. The bright sunlight streamed down from above reflecting onto the glistening water, as the sky had to be the brightest blue many had ever seen.

Just to hear the wind in the trees again as the sun kissed Hazel's face was exactly what she felt she needed, especially now, just being able to lie there on the dock and feel the sun on her face, warming up her body, reminding her how wonderful it was to be warm. She'd never take it for granted again. She got nightmares occasionally from Bastogne, from the wound, but she didn't let that get to her. She had learned she was in control of herself and no one else was or would ever be in control of her being.

She had the power to not let those negative thoughts affect her.

" Figured you'd be here," a voice said and Hazel slowly sat up from where she lay in the sun on the dock, her head swimming a bit. She glanced over her shoulder and found Joe swaggering towards her, his Raybands glinting underneath the sun, his hair looking extra fluffy, a smirk on his face, PT shorts, and his OD top unbuttoned, without that stupid white shirt. Her cheeks were already changing colors as he approached. 

" Hi," she said innocently and Joe slowly let himself settle down to sit beside her before looking over at her. She gently reached forward pulled the sunglasses up so she could really see his eyes, not just through the sunglasses. She smiled when she saw they were glowing underneath.

" I just wanted to see your eyes." she said and Joe smirked at her. He softly lent forward and pressed a soft kiss on her lips and her heart might've skipped a beat.

She was still getting used to the fact that kissing each other was okay. They'd been friends for so long, practically in love without the other knowing it for months, that kissing Joe still managed to make her heart race in surprise and excitement all over again.

But they'd talk about it before - their love was more than just a kiss to them.

But she did love when he would sneak a kiss or two with her. Joe gently pulled back and brushed at the hair that was in her face.

" Catherine said you'd be here," Joe said, " and so I didn't hesitate to pull on the swim trunks." Hazel giggled.

" Your PT bottoms?" she said with a shy grin.

" Yes," he said with a smirk and Hazel just giggled again shaking her head. 

" So," Joe said, " what do you say?" Hazel smiled at him and nodded. Pulling off her OD top to her white shirt was enough trouble in the sweat the covered her body, but the socks were hard too. She couldn't wait to just get in the water and cool off. Then she pulled off her shirt and then her pants, tripping a bit over her pant legs, because clumsy was basically her middle name. She heard Joe chuckling and stood and slapped his arm.

" I'm clumsy." she said with a shy giggle. Joe chuckled.

" Which I find adorable," Joe said and Hazel just laughed.

After he had pulled off his own OD top Hazel noticed his dog tags around his neck and realized she still had her dziadek's Star of David and her dog tags underneath. Her hand gently went to it and she softly grasped it, her heart aching for them suddenly. Hazel looked at the water and then squeezed her eyes shut.

The camps.

Those memories suddenly hit her mind like a bag of bricks.

But then there was a warmth.

Something blocking that out - Joe's hand.

" Hey," Joe said and Hazel looked up to meet his eyes, " you okay, you blanked out there for a second." Hazel looked back at the Star of David in her palm.

" Yeah, this just..." Hazel held it watching it, " brings back bad memories." Joe watched her softly and smiled.

" Well, hopefully with it now, we can create some new ones." Joe said and Hazel quirked a smile up at him, her eyes shining. She nodded. Joe gently took her hand in his and squeezed it with that little dorky grin.

" C'mon," he said and led her to the edge of the dock. The two paratroopers stood with their feet nearly curled over the edge, the water below them, lapping gently against the dock, soft crickets in the background, and the soft breeze arriving again. Hazel looked up towards Joe again with hopeful eyes.

Playful eyes.

" You ready?" she asked him. Joe smirked. But then Hazel let go of his hand and shoved him right plunging into the water. Hazel let out a joyous laugh as Joe surfaced in the water. His once fluffy hair deflated on his head as he looked up towards the laughing girl on the dock. He smirked.

" Two can play at this game, Parker." Joe said as he swam to the dock and she giggled running backwards. Joe hauled himself up, chasing her down the dock, as his dog tags jingled together as he hurried after Hazel.

Curse her tiny legs as she felt his wet arms wrap around her and haul her up.

" Joe!" she cried as her back became soaked from his chest and she saw the water getting closer and closer. Next thing she knew she was in the water and when she resurfaced she was laughing so gleefully, so joyously out loud, pure happiness on her face as she blinked away all the water in her eyes, wiping at them. Joe gently slid into the water next before swimming towards her as she smiled brightly at him, as if she were a small child. 

" Two can play at that game?" she said as he chuckled.

" I got you in the water didn't I?" Joe said and Hazel laughed. But then he splashed her and she giggled, splashing him back, before the two of them, like children were splashing one another back and forth, their laughs echoing around the lake, so happily, so joyously, so freely.

Hazel knew she could just be herself and have fun with Joe whenever there was a spare moment. She was so grateful for the fun he brought to her life. They talked about everything, her mom's farm market, Daisy, how good Hershey Bars were, and how drunk Alton More could get - the answer? Very drunk. But he was a funny drunk.

Times like this were the ones Hazel relished and cherished and wished she could hold onto forever. She'd strive her hardest to keep a hold on them.

After their little swim, Hazel almost immediately wrapped herself in a towel as the breeze hit her skin, sending chills up her arms. Hazel watched Joe climb out of the water and giggled as he shivered at the cold breeze, shaking out his hair a bit to keep it orderly. Hazel picked up the towel and gently lent it forward to him as he took it with a smile.

" I knew I needed someone to keep me together." Joe said as he wrapped the towel around himself, continuing to shake out his hair. Hazel giggled lightly as Joe stood in front of her, looking down at her. Hazel smiled softly up at him. 

" I'm so happy here with you, Hazel, I hope you know." Joe said as he reached up to put a strand of her wet hair behind her ear and Hazel gently looked up at him.

" You know I never knew I had that affect on people," Hazel said and Joe smiled.

" You have that affect on me, Parker." Joe said and Hazel swallowed the blush that fought to rise. Hazel giggled slightly. She looked up at him, her eyes shining, so innocent, so soft and shy, it was like she didn't have a kill tally of 94 sitting back in her barrack hunk. But Joe's eyes were that soft brown that just drew her in and made her forget about it all.

" Can I kiss you?" she whispered, her voice so pure, like a little angel bell in Joe's ears. Joe smirked at her.

" You're too cute," Joe whispered before Hazel stood up on her tiptoes and softly pressed a kiss to his lips, gentle and tender, but very much a Hazel kiss - innocent and pure. Hazel had found such a pure love with Joe, one she felt she may never find. But with Joe, love was simply just love, no lies, no pain, nothing - she felt loved, so loved by him.

Hazel loved Joe endlessly.

The following day, Hazel received a letter from Shifty. Shifty Powers. Her heart ached for him, for the pain he must've felt, all of it. Her heart broke for him.

_Hazel!_

_I am so glad the nurses have finally cleared me to start doing things again like writing you a letter! I've written my parents one after a telemark was already sent to them, but I knew I needed to send one to you as well, you're one of my best friends after all. After the hit, they took me to a hospital and I wasn't in a good enough headspace to have a nurse sit by my side and write everything down as I spoke. I couldn't gather my thoughts together well enough for that and it's too personal to say it to one of the nurses, even if they are some of the nicest ladies here. I think I'm just missing the company though!_

_They say I might be able to finally get out of the hospital soon, but they can't be for certain, I can barely go to the bathroom without having to be helped. It hurts a lot. Eating things is pretty hard to, a nurse has to feed me, and I appreciate it all, but I fought in a war, I know I can feed myself. It's just frustrating you know? Not being able to do things you once did. And the mental part of it is even worse. Just constantly struggling with figuring out everything, why I did take better safety measures, if the truck hadn't swiveled right into us. Just too many things that I'm trying to understand and comprehend. I can't imagine Tab and Lizzie though - another member of our D-Day group's gone. First it was Smokey, now me, I just hope those two are doing okay, but they have each other and all of you guys. I miss them, they made me laugh, more than I thought I could._

_But I miss you a lot too, mainly because you were one of the ones to understand my personality. Now, I know both of us are more on the quiet side of things, but we just have a lot going on in our brains, we're Southern people, we take a lot into account of appreciating the little things, like the way flowers grow or something, and even if someone's doing alright. We always take that into account, it's our thing. I hope you're doing well though, Hazel, I really miss being able to just talk with you. You were one of my closest friends, I feel we just really understood one another out there._

_If you can believe it the food's actually good here, not that Army stuff they thought was good enough for breakfast, no, no, this is the real good stuff, with actual taste and color, and seasoning, sorta like Mama's. But nothing can compare to Mama's. And the nurses are some of the nicest women, always caring for us, making sure we get help where we need, we take any medication we need. I actually met a nurse Amelia Beckett, who said she knew you, she says you actually made her feel happy in that dark hospital in Bastogne. She seems like one of the nicest people, truly. And she helps me out more than I can imagine. You have the nicest friends Hazel :) Now, if you don't mind telling Tab for me, I hide a few cigarettes in his Class A pocket back on D-Day plus 1, so just tell him if he doesn't figure it out sooner or later, you know him. And Lizzie, I left some of her favorite chocolates for her. She probably found them a while ago, but just let her know, I wanted to leave them both something before I left. And I left one more thing for you, at the bottom of your sack, just a little something that I know you'd like._

_I miss you and the Company more than I can imagine. Just not being with all the guys. I expected to be home by now, not in a hospital. Maybe I'd have a different perspective. I don't know what it is, but I hate to say it, but missing war? It is possible to miss a war this horrid. Not the war itself, no, but the friendships I made while I was there quite possibly, are the thing I miss. The brotherhood, the Viragos who were like my sisters, the outstanding leadership we had, besides a select few, just the feeling of where you belonged, every man was important, you were involved. You were also important. Now, sitting here, I don't quite feel that anymore, but I suspect going back into civilian life that is something I'll have to get used to I suppose. But Easy, the experiences there, with everyone, I won't forget what that company did for me, what memories we created, all of it. I'm grateful for it all and I wouldn't change a thing looking back on it now. Because sometimes you find light in the darkness. It was hard to understand that sorta concept, but understanding is better than ignorance. I've always believed that._

_I hope you continue to stay you, Hazel. You're one of my best friends, and you were always so genuine, so truthful, so kind, so loving, and so wise in everything you did for this company. Your motives, your smiles, all of it. I hope you never change from who you are. We need more people in the world like Hazel Parker._

_Say hello to everyone for me, I hope you're all doing well. I wish I could be there instead of in this hospital, training for this Pacific, but I know you're the best sharpshooter in Easy, Hazel, we all always knew that. Please know you can always write back, it might be the only thing to keep me sane back here._

_Love,_

_Shifty_

Hazel squeezed her eyes shut, just at his signature. She missed Shifty more than anything. He had been one of her closest friends.

The only softness that formed was the mention of Amelia's name.

Amelia Beckett's name.

The Amelia Beckett who had saved Hazel's life.

Hazel softly leaned back in her bed, holding the letter against her heart, fighting the tears.

Fighting the emotion and the pain, the voices screaming, ravaging her mind, crumbling, falling, shattering into oblivion. This war had created so much pain, that they all would have to deal with. It hurt.

Hazel slowly looked over towards where her sack usually sat and sniffled slightly before taking to the floor and pulling her sack in front of her. Hazel slowly dug through it, cautiously inspecting all the clothing items until she found one final thing at the bottom. Reaching down into the satchel she slowly pulled out the object and saw it was the tiny Doe figurine, with a small note attached to it. Hazel slowly, tentatively, reached her hand forward and picked up the note.

_Never stop reaching for the stars, Hazel- Shifty_

Hazel felt her bottom lip quiver.

The young girl sat alone in that moment, curled into herself between the two bunks on the floor, the letter, the figurine, and the note at her feet.

Why did the worst things have to happen to the best people?

But, she was determined to never stop reaching for the stars she always saw above her. She would never stop, reaching for hope, goodness, happiness, joy, she would never stop and this war would never stop her either.

Hazel told Tab about the cigarettes - Tab had known almost instantly. Shifty had left 6, for the amount of letters in his little nickname and he had left 6 chocolates for Lizzie - Lizzie had known instantly too. Only Shifty and the girls knew those were her favorite.

Hazel kept the figurine by her nightstand in the barracks, because usually whenever she jumped awake from a nightmare or two it was there.

A doe, so gentle, graceful, dotting, brought her some peace.

She no longer thought of the German on D-Day with the bright green eyes - he wasn't worthy of her time anymore.


	40. the whole pie

" Standing alone is better than being around people who don't value you."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

George had snuck into Catherine's room again, which wasn't any surprise as he was sneaking around regularly just to see the woman he loved. But Catherine had asked him to come; she'd been stress and George with his teddy bear hugs was a nice destresser.

So there Catherine sat, staring at George with a smirk on her face.

" You're not going to make me laugh," she said shaking her head as George watched her with playful eyes.

" Oh really," he said and suddenly forced the impression of Sobel across his face.

" Uh, hi, yes, it is Mr Sobel," George said as Catherine bit back her laugh, " uh, yes, I'd like to tell you that there is no laughter allowed in my company." Catherine watched him with glowing eyes.

" Yes, sir, that is what I said, sir, absolutely no laughter allowed." George said, and then made a signature Sobel face that Sobel pulled where his face filled with panic. Catherine let out a laugh, falling back onto the comforter of her bed, before rolling to her side as she laughed, tears almost escaping from her eyes.

" I said no laughing allowed in my company, Lieutenant!" George called as he fell down onto the comforter beside her laughing, trying to hold it together, but Catherine couldn't stop laughing. 

" No!...no laughing!" George said through breathless laughs, before full on breaking out into chuckles himself as the two lie on their sides cackling practically. Their laughter slowly died down as they looked at each other with soft smiles on their faces. George smiled at her smile.

" I like it when you laugh," George said, " you didn't laugh much before this." Catherine watched him.

" I was too stressed to laugh," she said, picking at a spot on the comforter in between her and George on their sides, " but now, with you? I feel like I can be happy again, for real this time." Catherine met his eyes again, which seemed so soft. She loved when his eyes went soft.

" I don't think I can forget this war George," she whispered, " that scares me. With everything that happened to us, what we all went through, I want to forget it but I know I can't." George watched her softly.

" It'll be the war that brought us together," George said, " I'll always remember the war for more than the sadness it brought, I'll remember it for us, the girls, the rest of the boys." George smiled at her and Catherine smiled softly back. He was right.

" You ever think about going to the Pacific?" she whispered softly to him.

" More than I want," he told her and Catherine watched him sadly.

" I don't want to lose you, George," she whispered, " in this stupid war." 

" You won't lose me," George whispered with a smile," I won't allow it." Catherine smiled. George softly shuffled closer to her on the bed.

" You ever think about home? After the war?" he asked her and Catherine felt warmth in her heart.

" Yes," she answered, watching his lips draw up into a smile.

" What do you think about coming home with me when the war ends?" he asked her, watching her eyes register what his lips had said. Catherine's heart raced.

 _Home_ with _George_.

A _home_ with _George_.

Going _home_ with _George_.

" Right along Greenwich Bay, near Warwick, they have these little homes where I always saw people with their families, their dogs, their little kids, going on walks in the parks, sitting by the bay," George said, " there is a house that's been for sale for a while, in a good neighborhood, backyard to the bay, and we could even make a garden in the back, where you can sit out and see the sunrise..." Catherine watched George talk about home, talk about this home, talk about this possible life they could have together.

" I want kids, George," she whispered, " I've always wanted kids." George smiled at her, before gently bring his hand up a bit to cup her cheek.

" As many as you want," George whispered, " I mean look at us, we'll have the best looking kids in town." Catherine let out a laugh as George snickered.

" But seriously though, I want a life with you Catherine, more than what this war has brought us." George said and Catherine couldn't help but smile. 

" I do too, George." she whispered, " Life should be more about just surviving." George softly brushed her cheek with the pad of his thumb and smiled. He loved her more than anything.

" Lana's always been a cute name," Catherine said softly with gentle eyes. George smiled. 

" I think Catherine Luz has been a cute name, too." he said back and Catherine blushed.

" George," she said slapping his arm as George chuckled, watching her with shining eyes, " you think so?"

" Oh I know so," George said and Catherine giggled.

" Are you sure the boys won't suspect anything?" she asked him softly. George smirked.

" Course not, all they ever do is stay anywhere but where 1st platoon rooms," George said and Catherine smiled gently.

" Thanks for coming, George, I just felt like I needed to see you," she whispered softly. George smiled.

" I know you've been a little stressed, plus I'm always here." George said back to her and Catherine smiled at him again. She smiled so much around him. Catherine slowly scooted closer as George wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he moved to his back and they gazed together towards the ceiling. Catherine nestled further into his warm side as George's arm kept an ever present heat around her. Catherine stared at the ceiling where the light from outside slowly trickled in.

" This home you're talking about, George," she said, " can it have a yellow kitchen?" She felt George chuckle.

" Of course," he answered.

" And a puppy?" 

" Obviously."

" Can we hang up our Jump Wings? In the bedroom?" she whispered softly, playing with a string on his shirt. George smiled.

" Right next to each other," George said with a smile as Catherine grinned.

A life with George Luz, full of peace, happiness and love - she wanted that more than anything. If only it weren't for the Pacific theater, but it was nice to dream.

Many of the officers were slowly beginning to make their decisions of whether they were staying or leaving the company to ship out early to the Pacific. Like what Dick and Nix had discussed. But supposedly Dick had been turned down from shipping out early - the Colonel had suggested he stay with the company. Dick had told Catherine he wanted to ship out to get it over with. Catherine had just watched him warily.

All the war was getting to her head and she was so tired of it. She just wished the war could stop and they could go home. It was too exhausting to even try to comprehend and think about. On the 20th though, everything changed. Everything.

The 3 women had been enjoying lunch together with a few of the guys like Johnny and Babe, when Tab can running through the door, the frantic 1st Sergeant he currently was with Lipton just behind him wide eyed. They were both wide eyed. Tab slammed his hands down against the table and finally met the three women's wide eyes and the other three men's eyes.

" They know." Tab said.

 _What_?

" Tab, you're speaking in tongues, can you jus-"

" America. They all know. About Operation Virago." Tab said and suddenly lunch wasn't as appetizing as it had sounded.

Everyone looked at each other and Johnny slowly let out a low sigh.

" What do you mean the know?" Catherine hissed as Tab and Lipton slid in beside Hazel across from Lizzie and Catherine.

" They just know," Lip concluded, " and they have known for weeks, there's a full blown article that we just received." Catherine's eyes widened as Hazel felt suddenly sick to her stomach.

They knew?

America knew?

Hazel hadn't thought this far into Operation Virago. It had been kept secret for so-long that she hoped it'd trickle away. But from the tension radiating from Catherine, she knew she'd say something.

Catherine felt strongly for Operation Virago more than anyone, as a passionate patriot of women's rights and equality, Hazel knew that the reports best be scared when Catherine McCown comes walking right up to their faces.

" When do the reporters get here?" Catherine asked with a stealthy eye.

" Soon enough, they know each group that has Virago members," Lip said and Catherine narrowed her eyes.

" Well they can talk to me whenever they please." Catherine grumbled out, " I fought in this stupid fucking war created by mankind, I almost loss my life, oh I'll talk."

" Hey, honey, it's okay," Lizzie said putting a hand to her arm," save that energy for when you start talking to them." Lizzie said with a growing smirk and Catherine grinned.

" They sat on their asses back in America creating boogus reports, I'll happily tell them what the real world was like for the past 6 years." Catherine said and Tab smirked proudly, he couldn't keep it from his face it seemed.

" Well, I will gladly sit in the back and watch them shit their pants," Tab remarked as Lizzie grinned.

Operation Virago was out, and the article that followed was written almost to exact detail - it seemed a Military member tied to the government and to the media had slipped. And everything was finally out in the open. 2 diverse articles had revealed themselves, from the military man who remained anonymous himself, and from a member of the media who seemed to tweek the story to his liking.

" This is the military member?" Lizzie asked.

" Anonymous as they call him, but whatever," Tab said, " it's actually like a good perspective, from someone who understands, you'll lose your mind reading the one from the media."

" Great," muttered Catherine as the three girls scooted close together to get a good read of the paper. 

_Operation Virago: The Covert Females of The War_

_Operation Virago was the most genius thing the military decided to ever do all war, and we performed some of the greatest battles there ever were. As I do not plan to reveal myself yet, I knew it was time to reveal the formidable plan that has encompassed the war since currently early 1941, when it was initially thought up, before we were even in the war. It was purely genius._

_Pure genius._

_On March 4th, 1941, after war had been raging in Europe for nearly a year and a half, America, remaining neutral at the moment, we working to ensure that if war were to come to us, that we were ready, that we had men ready to push out onto the front lines. At the same time, plenty of new opportunities for America's citizens were opening up, such as the paratroopers, codebreakers, things like that. And with that, other things, such as the WAC, WAVES, Red Cross, Nurses' Corps, SPARs, etc, were opening up for women, to have their own place in this war._

_And then the idea was finally brought upon us all, sitting in our cushy offices on that fairly bitter morning. Operation Virago. Operation, as in a full fledge, secret and rather covert operation that slipped under the noses of the citizens of the United States and the law-abiding family members who didn't tell a soul what their daughters were doing. Virago as in a woman of heroic and exemplary qualities. Sound familiar - the Amazon Warriors of Ancient Rome, per say, to all you history nerds?_

_Shall I repeat?_

_A woman with heroic and exemplary qualities, 250 of them._

_That's right. 250 women, who in their own ways expressed those qualities to us as military directors were handpicked to showcase themselves in Operation Virago and no one even suspected a thing until March 1945 - I was surprised no one suspected earlier actually._

_From each national military service for women, 250 women were picked and selected for an intense 15 week training that took place at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, hidden up in the mountains in a little place called Camp Athene. Athene - > Athena? Sound familiar to my history professors? _

_Athena, the goddess of wisdom and of war, and a highly respected God herself - she had a city in Greece named after herself - a powerful one, where some of the most fantastic and fearless leaders of the time came from. And Camp Athene was where our 250 Viragos went._

_Might I had she surpassed EVERYONE in both her wisdom and her waging of war combined? The 250 women were trained for 15 weeks on the plot of line, where they were not allowed to leave the camp grounds - Camp Athene's grounds - for those 15 weeks, and were not allowed to interact with paratroopers of the 82nd, or soldiers and Special Forces members that Fort Bragg housed. And that's what made them as elite as they were._

_Many believed they wouldn't make it through training without a group of men to aid them, but they came out 250 strong, unlike many of the other departments because these women wanted to fight and we were willing to fight, each with a certain fire that burned deep within them ready for war and for equality, something I had long believed should've been brought upon earlier._

_And if I were to publicly say that, I would be looked upon by the rich as if I were a scoundrel, someone who undermined them, but you all know it's the truth that women should've been equal to men long before we ever needed to decide Operation Virago should be a thing. Women are capable of the things men can do and are capable of change, of power, of leadership, of comfort. All of it. Too many people are too entitled in this day and age to even bring about change for it._

_Who is your mother? A strong woman who managed to raise you._

_Who is your sister? The young girl who looked up to you as a young girl and always believed in you._

_Who is your grandmother? The one with the kind words and gentle messages._

_All women - all women that matter in your life and are in fact women who deserve equal opportunity. It's why the Virago women deserved a chance as well._

_Training was hard on them, but it didn't change the fact that they were strong and capable women. Then they were split off into even more focused training, where some continued to the Army, the Marine Corps, the Navy, the Coastguard, the Air Force, and then to even smaller subunits, like pilots in the Force, paratroopers in the Airborne, Captains in the Army, one even a Major in the Marine Corps._

_These women fought tooth and nail for the independence, peace, safety and democracy of our country. And if someone believes that it were wrong to say that, then what are you even considered then. They are soldiers, sailors, airmen, people, American citizens, fighting in this war - they are human beings. I'm sorry if you can not respect a human being fighting for your freedom and your human rights. Because in Europe it was not that way for many people. There were women who were shot down from planes, engulfed in flames on D-Day in their planes before they made the jump into Normandy, others who lost limbs, lost their lives, fighting for our country. Respect the fact they did, that they fought, fought for your country where many people already had their rights. Women are still not equal, but still respect the fact they fought and that many of the people who will go against this article and Operation Virago are the ones who ended up sitting home, gambling and wasting away, doing nothing for the war._

_These women fought the war of our lives, respect that. And they did it knowing that people may never even find out, that they could die, lose their lives, lose limbs, their sense of self. They still fought - respect that._

_\- anonymous writer_

Catherine slowly sat back from the article and gulped. Her hands were shaking and she slowly looked at Hazel and Lizzie who were quiet looking at the article as well. Whoever this was, had put people in their places, rightfully so.

" Holy shit," Catherine whispered as Tab nodded, Lip watching softly. 

" Published a week ago, no shame either, supposedly he's hoping to reveal his name when the war ends, really let people get a piece of his mind." Lip said gently. Catherine looked at the paper. And he seemed genuine and truthful and firm in his words. He wanted people to get a piece of his mind, something many would have trouble swallowing, but they'd need to read. Because it had happened. Women had died in this Operation and plenty others had gotten injured because of it. And the truth was hard for many people.

" Stupid bastards," muttered Johnny, like it were a bad taste in his mouth.

" They'll have to learn to accept this, you know I read an article 2 months back about some bullshit with this just a way to get them all called. I just about it had with the news." Babe grumbled.

" You read that, too?" Lizzie said and Babe nodded.

" Whole fucking thing, Lizzie, I wasted a good 20 minutes reading it. And you know what, by the end of it, my opinion didn't change, nor would it ever, some bullshit it was." Babe said.

" It was horrible really, the guy couldn't even connect basic ideas together," Lizzie said in disgust. 

" Well get this, there's that other article, from the meda." Tab said laying it out in front of them.

" Let me guess, it'll be some made up crap about women in the war and it's not their right, some same dumb thing they keep saying in every article, which isn't true." Johnny said peeved. 

" Yeah, bunch of bullshit, and it's barely half a page too," Tab said pulling open the page, " it's not even on the front page. This anonymous guy sent WAVES through America, I'll bet ya." Hazel gently opened the paper more before the trio began reading again.

_Operation Virago: A Mistake_

" Typical title," snorted Lizzie as the group laughed lightly.

_Operation Virago simply was the plan for women to go to war secretly under all of our watching eyes. And guess what? The military and government's plan didn't work, people still died._

" Alright well, I think I'm done," Lizzie said sitting back and nearly snorting into her coffee.

" Does this guy even know what war is?" Hazel said, looking at the four with a raised brow, " Death is practically inevitable for the human population in the end, some earlier than others, and war brings death. I mean, I don't want to read the rest of it." Catherine grinned and so did Lizzie.

" Me either," Catherine said, " it won't affect my life." Lip grinned.

" So, when the reporters finally show up in Zell Am See, I'll be sure to wear my uniform, a smile on my face, and plenty of strong words for them to write down in their stupid notebooks to go write some bullshit article. Nothing new." Catherine said as Hazel quirked a smile.

" Oh boy, they're about to get a slice of Lieutenant McCown." Tab said as if he were a small, excited child. Catherine smirked.

" Oh honey, I'm giving them the whole pie."


	41. operation virago: out to the world

" Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Catherine had vied to take on this task alone, even though Hazel and Lizzie would be up in the front of the stage with her. The media was licking for any sort of information about this operation that had been hidden for years from the public, waiting for any ounce of worthy news.

But Catherine was determined to give them the straight, cold hard truth. 

Catherine stood in the mirror, adjusting her Camp Athene medal on her jacket as she bit back her lip in concentration. All night she had lied awake, knowing exactly word for word what she wanted to say to these media members.

The truth.

Nothing but the truth and even if they still wouldn't believe it, she'd know in her heart that it'd be true. George watched her from the bed as she got ready, sitting back, as she adjusted everything on her uniform, from smoothing out her skirt, to the pristine Lieutenant bar on her collar and her cover, to the Jump Wings, that were straight at 180 horizontal degrees. Catherine stared at herself finally.

This is who the media would see, a woman who had been through war, 3 women who had been through war, 250 women who had been through war.

" What do you think they'll say?" George asked her. Catherine shrugged, adjusting her cap on her head, as she smoothed her hand around her perfect bun. 

" I won't be surprised if it's dead quiet." she said honestly, before stepping back from the mirror and setting a soft smile on her lips as she walked over, sitting down next to where George currently sat up in the bed.

" You look nice," George said with a gentle smile and Catherine smiled at him. To even just hear that, made her heart warm, especially from George. It wasn't that she was smokin', or hot, or anything like that, just a simple comment that let her know, George appreciated her. It didn't take much, especially with George, when she knew they had each other's trust. 

" I really hope this makes a change," Catherine said, " to show women, that we're powerful, we're strong, we're brave, courageous, full of fearlessness, we're leaders, with caring minds, and we know our emotions better than anyone, we don't need someone else to tell us for them. I'm just...I'm ready to show people that women, we can be strong, stronger than you think." George watched her softly, his gaze gentle, watching her own empowered one.

" I have no doubt you'll put each and every one of them in their place either," George said and Catherine smiled softly as George slowly slid in beside her, feet dangling off the bed. 

" You know I'll support you through anything," George said softly, " truly." Catherine met his gaze and smiled softly at him.

" Thanks, George," she whispered back gently. George was truly a blessing, someone she loved more sometimes than herself, she just wanted him happy. And him expressing his quiet thoughts, made her heart pulse. Catherine softly kissed his cheek before giving a quiet smile up at him.

" Now," she said, " I'm going to go show the media what war really is like." George smirked. Slowly standing George saluted her. Catherine smirked back, accepting the respectful salute.

This could change the course of war forever.

Catherine met Hazel and Lizzie near the center square where a stage had been set up for a press conference of sorts. The two women stood behind the stage and banner, with Winters, Speirs and Sink. As Catherine walked up, she gave a firm salute and earned them right back.

" Now, I was just out there, and I'd recommend just telling those folks the truth," Sink said, just looking like he genuinely just wanted to keep them safe, " they oughta know of all the fine work you ladies have done for our regiment and the marks you've made." The three women smiled at Sink. 

" Let them have it, really, I'm looking at you, Parker." Speirs said and Hazel laughed lightly as he smiled before looking at the group.

" I don't think any of them truly understand the horrors of war, or ever will, you let them know though, about it all, you're still soldiers, paratroopers, fighting, that doesn't change a thing." Speirs said and Catherine smiled softly. 

" I've been with you three the longest, and I know whatever questions they throw, whatever they might say, you'll always be stronger than them, I've seen you in war, but you already know that." Dick said and the group smiled at their former CO. There were loud voices on the opposite side of the large banner. They knew they had to face the media, tell them the truth, which would be hard for them to fully accept - but it was reality.

" Gentlemen," Catherine said with a nod, before turning and looking at Hazel and Lizzie who nodded, determined.

The 3 women slowly stepped up the stars behind the banner and then turned the corner, to the stage, where on the downslope, it was crowded with media, microphones, cameras flashing, and men sitting scrawny with their notebooks.

It grew quiet almost immediately as the three women slowly walked across the stage, proudly, confidently, poised, their feet in time with one another. Their shoes made quiet clicks across the stage, as none of them even flinched at a camera flash or someone clearing their throat. They had been through war with shells raining upon them like a normal storm on a Sunday, and they'd survived it.

A comment would barely be a speck of dirt on the shoulder.

Catherine stopped and so did Hazel and Lizzie before they remained standing, at attention behind Catherine who walked to the podium. They didn't need to sit down and let the media gain any sense of satisfaction.

They were soldiers, they would stand as them.

Catherine slowly approached the podium and then stood behind it, a firm, emotionless face sprawled across her features. It was quiet, as if she were a queen standing and watching her citizens as if they were bowing down. But they would never bow down she felt, and she'd have to accept it.

" I suppose you all have questions, but all I know is I don't have to answer them." Catherine said and some eyes widened as other people looked each other. Catherine didn't even flinch or move a muscle from her stance, awaiting their voices. 

" Please, do enlighten me." she said again watching them. It was quiet. Catherine would stand there all day, refusing to bow down to them, and watch them win at their own little game.

" If no one's willing to bother asking a question, I will gladly go back to my officer's quarters and continue working on my geographical location reports," Catherine said scanning the crowd, " this doesn't even affect or change my life in the slightest." 

" Say what you want about the Viragos, but you will never understand what war is, never." Catherine said, " You sat home as you watched your citizens die. Writing bogus reports over and over without fail. So please, do enlighten me and tell me your reasons for doing so, I'm curious." Catherine watched as eyes fell and she watched some peoples' souls disappear from their bodies.

Oh they were not ready for Lieutenant Catherine McCown.

" I have a question, Private-"

" Lieutenant." Catherine said, stopping him in his sentence. The man watched her from where he stood a few rows back.

" I'm sorry, excuse me for-"

" Lieutenant, I'm a Lieutenant. Lieutenant Catherine McCown." Catherine said, clearly fed up just in her simple tone, " And if you want to hear more, I suggest you write that name down." Hazel and Lizzie slowly glanced towards each other with smirks on their faces. They were in for a ride.

" Lieutenant McCown," the man repeated, a slight bit of distaste it sounded in his voice, " why would a woman want to fight in a war?" Catherine stared at him.

" Why would a human want to fight in a war? An American citizen you mean?" she said, her bit rather nasty it seemed. But she had every right to be this way.

Equality was what they deserved, and Catherine would fight tooth and nail for it.

Catherine was met with silence.

" I've been in this war since the end of 1941, since we were first brought into this conflict. Fighting for 4 years, just to preserve the freedom of this country, the democracy, freedom of speech, or what you want to wear, listen to, watch, your ability to sit behind your desk and write what you write. Your freedom. That's what I fought for and it seems you can't even respect me for fighting for that." Catherine said coldly, holding the man's gaze with a stealthy glare, " I saw what human beings were capable of doing to other human beings. And the world is a cruel, cruel place. Crueler than that apartment you have in New York City, watching the sunset, not worrying about the Germans dropping bombs on your head as you wonder if you'll see tomorrow, if you'll wake up and find one of your comrades dead. I saw things that would make you all shit your pants." Catherine watched people frantically writing, or watching horrified, of what this female Lieutenant was capable of.

" I came to fight this war, wage it, make waves in this war, to hopefully end it so we don't lose anymore men, money, anything for our country," Catherine said," fighting a war in a world this cruel is something many humans will never ever be prepared to fight. So you can not compare me to anyone except who I am. I am Lieutenant Catherine McCown, I am a Virago, a woman of Operation Virago, as well as an Easy Company member and paratrooper of the Regiment, with my Camp Athene medal, Purple Heart, Jump Wings, plus multiple other medals on my uniform for what I did for my country. You can only compare me to myself and even then it may hardly be even considered a comparison."

" I am a soldier. A paratrooper. And yes, I am also a woman. I am all three of those things. But what does it matter? If I fought the enemy? If I got myself nearly killed on D-Day because of my shoulder? If I got injured like the rest of these men? What makes it a difference? And saying you're a woman does not." Catherine's question was met with a quiet whisper of the wind as the news reporters stared.

" A woman can be strong, mentally, physically and emotionally and fight a war while still being her vulnerable self. She can still be a woman and a soldier. 250 of us went in! And we lost many to the perils of the war waged by men. We went to try and save something, do something. We went to make a difference no matter what was thought of us. We Viragos? We don't give a damn if you think it's not proper. It is 1945! There's still prejudice against being human - so what woman now would care - I will fight until my dying breath until we are equal to all of you. I risked my life too many times to be asked these dumb and rather demeaning questions by men who sat safely back in America and knew they would not be bombed each and every night in below freezing weather. So don't ever tell me it is because I am a woman. I am just as capable as a man. We lost women out there. Women I trained with, ones who wanted to make a difference. And now all you do is dismiss it like any other. You're wrong. We are brave and powerful and commanding and we've seen them move up to Captains and Majors. You watch one day when women are treated equally and alongside you in the military, your boss, your CEO." It was quiet.

" Watch me be right, standing here on this stage in 1945, where we can not even be paid the same as men, watch as you just might regret your decision this day in 1945. I won't stand for it. Any of it. I fought in this war; is that not enough for any of you?"

It was silent in the Austrian Alps.

So silent.

Catherine continued her cold and hard stare.

" Someone tell me," Catherine said walking out from behind the podium to stand out by the side of it," why you all seem to believe women in the military is such a bad thing?" Catherine surveyed the crowd with almost a cold look settling into her icy gaze.

" Anyone?" she asked again. Catherine waited - she wanted to know.

What was their viable reason?

Or had she scared them enough.

" All of you sitting here now have most likely already been backlogging a report on the bullshit idea that is called Operation Virago," Catherine said, " we've heard it all, we've all almost died. A few of your words will barely puncture skin." They were quiet. Catherine gritted her teeth.

" D-Day, June 6th, 1944." Catherine said softly, " If it weren't for one of the most trusted combat medics of the company, I possibly could've been dead."

" September 18th, 1944." Catherine said glancing back at Lizzie, " Doc Elizabeth Elliot had been hiding from Germans in Holland with Sergeant Randleman all night with a leg wound, that could've made her bleed out and lose her life if it weren't for her quick thinking and the skills she had from her training."

" January 11th, 1945," Catherine said glancing over towards Hazel who stood with a firm smile, " Sergeant Hazel Parker was hit by shellings from the Germans and it almost killed her, all the impact her abdomen took, and she healed up quick than anyone, going AWOL from the hospital, just to fight with and be with the company." Catherine watched the group.

" And we are still alive - there are many others, too many others, who risked their lives in Virago Company, and lost them." Catherine said, " Too many have died for this putrid war."

" So please, tell me why a woman in war made your opinion so ungodly upsetting to even listen to." Catherine said looking at the group.

" Ma'am," a voice said, as a younger reporter stood up in the crowd, arms crossed, a smug look across his express. Catherine barely even let her mouth twitch. She nodded.

" There are plenty of other regiments in this war, that lost plenty of men," he stated and she nodded, " so why are you centering it all around you right now?" Catherine watched him.

" Because you respect those regiments, for what they do, because they're America's boys. And plus, you're here for the Viragos if I'm correct." Catherine stated as the man watched her, slightly speechless.

" Look, I'm sorry if you came here expecting one thing with the Viragos, but we have trained just as hard as the men of the regiments of the military. And we have worked our asses off for equality and even if this conference does absolutely nothing, at least I'll know that we have made our mark together and our truths are not out. Do what you want with the information, whatever you please. But in our hearts, we'll always be Viragos, we'll always be members of these special groups we've bonded with through this war. You can't take that from us, you can changed history from what it has become. You can't take being a Virago from us." Catherine said. Catherine looked up toward the warm sunshine that bathed the Viragos on the stage in light.

" It would be truly such a pity to ignore the people that fight for your country, for your safety, your rights, for things many other countries in this day and age are not allowed to have." Catherine said softly," I respect the people that fight for my freedom, I would start doing the same."

No one asked anymore questions after that, and there was no more talking needed as the girls retreated back down the podium, firing brimming in each of their souls.

Viragos, even when separated, were all Virago company members, and they'd defend each other until each and every last breath of their own.

" They can't be serious," Lizzie said as the three women walked away from the center square, hearing the flashing and clicks of the cameras behind them going off and voices," I mean staring at us for half an hour, no questions? Practically obliterating their entire purpose for being there!" 

" And now they're going to go and write the same reports that we've seen on every American newspaper over here, it's nothing new," Catherine said as Hazel bit back her lip, " and don't even get started on the one guy, who started mouthing off about women in general, he can go back in his hole."

" That was absolute bullshit, the entire thing," Lizzie grumbled. Hazel glanced back over her shoulder towards where the press remained like hungry vultures sitting there watching them the entire time, but not quite attacking.

It was uncomfortable.

And the news about it spread as if it had been something like wildfire. Everyone knew about it, everyone, and by the time it reached mess halls and dining halls and barracks, people were talking about it all the time. The press that insulted the Viragos, and for many reasons, the press who stared like hawks but didn't quite attack, the press this, the press that. It was dumb, and it was lethargic and it was stupid.

" It was horrible, Joe, really, it felt like we were being humiliated." Hazel whispered by his side as the two sat at the nearby dock with the sun slowly setting nearby. Hazel gently swung her feet like she were a child, eyes sad, but her heart tainted. That had upset her, to see that even if they were fighting for their country, people couldn't respect them. People were cruel sometimes, they fought for freedom, but now they were just belittled.

" It pisses me off," Joe muttered, as Hazel watched him fiddling with his fingers, something he had always done when she saw him getting angry about something, it was like a way to hold himself so he wouldn't explode and race away like a balloon.

" And they just stared, whenever Catherine said anything, they just stared at her like she was insane, I mean, what else are we supposed to do?" Hazel said, " I'm proud that I'm a Virago member, and for the rest of my life I'll be proud and if someone wants to bash what a US citizen did for their country, let them, but I won't let what they tell me bother me, Joe. Yes, I am a woman, yes I am a Virago and yes I am a paratrooper, with a pair of Jump WIngs by her bed, but that doesn't make me any less human than anyone else on this planet." Joe watched her, he had never seen his this riled up, this angry, so unlike the Hazel Parker he remembered.

He liked it.

A smirk twitched on his face.

" And you know what," Hazel said as she stood, chucking a pebble that was in her grasp straight into the water, sending ripples across the water, as she sneered at it, nearly seething, eyes aflame, " war is war, Joe, you know that. And all they do is sit on their butts back in New York City, in a warm office with that stupid complimentary breakfast and coffee each morning. They didn't have bombs dropping over their heads like rain, or the bullets whizzing past their heads, they didn't have to whisper a prayer every time they met someone else's eye through a scope, did they?" Joe looked up at her as Hazel huffed and crossed her arms.

" How am I supposed to even want to listen to their opinion when they haven't experienced what a war is like?" she snapped angrily to no one, her eyes narrowed like they always did when she was in hind sight of whatever she was zeroing in on, " I'm not going to sit around and listen to some excuse they're going to give about women in the military. I'm a US citizen, I'm a member of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, I come from the United States and I'm fighting for their country. It's childish to even think you can't support someone because of their gender." Hazel scoffed kicking her foot against the wood of the dock.

" I mean the only reason they're here is because a woman managed to birth them. Without a woman they wouldn't even exist." Hazel muttered, eyes narrowed, " I don't get it, why people can be so ungodly rude towards a woman." Hazel met Joe's eyes, a fire burning beneath her own.

" I am a woman, aren't I?" Hazel said, and didn't even wait for Joe to answer or nod his head, " And I may be a woman fighting this war, letting it break me down to the bare bones only to build me up again, but I am still a woman, who cares about herself, who she is, who can speak her mind when she wants, create opinions, and ideas, and have bravery and courage, and strength and the power to do what she wants. Never for once in this war did I wish that against me, and this war has taught me those things, many of those things, but most importantly how to continue being strong on my own." Hazel met his eyes again as Joe watched her.

" The fact people can't respect the fact that we made this decision all on our own makes me sick to my stomach. It wasn't their kid going off to fight a war, it wasn't their daughter risking her life - they didn't give a damn about it. My mother sent off her only daughter to war, leaving her alone at her house to take up the duties that the man that is my father left her to do. She was the one that sent me off. She could've easily said no, but she did it anyway. She believed in me. She believed I could, because she went through too much crap in her life, to see her own daughter have to continue to struggle. She knew in many ways that this experience, could help change my entire future. And you know what, It did. It changed everything. If I had stayed home, I would've been stuck in a crappy little library, sitting at a desk, writing reviews on books or stocking shelves at a store. Absolutely ridiculous." Hazel stood seething, eyes narrowed angrily out towards what was in front of her, the rippling water, the warm, mountain air. She shook her head.

" I'm sick and tired of it, Joe, all of it," she said and met his eyes again as he watched her with a firm gaze, listening to each word she said, " I'm at my boiling point."

Joe slowly felt a proud smirk creep across his face as he slowly stood and looked down towards her.

" So what are you gonna do about it?" Joe asked her, " Need a large, sharp, weapon?" Hazel felt a smirk on her features and laughed lightly.

" No, I just need a pencil and paper and a lot of coherent thoughts on it."

Joe smiled.


	42. the little prince

" Sometimes we need someone to simply be there...not to fix anything or do anything in particular, but just to let us feel we are supported and cared about."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

By candlelight that night, Hazel wrote, even into the early hours of the morning, each and every piece of her mind, her experience in war, each and every bit of it. And not once did she use the regiment she were in, her name, the names of any of the men, or her gender. She described it as any normal soldier of man in the military would. And she would send it into the New York Times, across the ocean, praying it would be published, and then truly see how people would react to a story like that.

An anonymous story with no gender, the only indication of it could be a man and watch as people fawn over the tough experiences faced.

Only to realize it were in fact a woman.

It would be the sweetest treat.

By the time Hazel had walked into APO the following morning in early July, she had delivered the letter to Vest, handing it into his grasp before giving him a smile and leaving. A proud smile. A proud smile hadn't met her face in quite some time.

As she headed out of the APO, she watched as on a jeep, driven by Skinny, drove by with Catherine, Joe and Webster inside. Hazel watched the jeep roll by down the Austrian streets, gently stepping out into the road to watch as dust moved up behind the car as it zipped through, before leaving the small town on the road out to where the farmers on the outskirts usually lived.

Hazel watched curiously, before biting back her lip and wiping her sweaty hands against the skirt she wore, turning and walking down the lonely road, her tiny braids on both sides of her head, limp underneath the bright sunlight.

Liebgott had said it was orders from Speirs, Catherine knew better than to believe Speirs would give such an order, but Catherine, for the one moment the word level-headed left her mind, decided to join in with Joe on the rampage - she had been angry for weeks, this would be something to get her mind off it, and she knew, she just knew if George found out he wouldn't be too happy either, but the man had been apart of the people who had made the world so cruel, he had been just one small part, but still apart of it, which hurt.

The jeep drove through the countryside outside of Zell Am See, along some of the hills, some of the mountain passes, going farther and farther from the town.

No one would hear the gunshot.

Web was beside her, and anxious as he was, Catherine still respected him after the verbal brawl the two had which she took as her fault. Catherine glanced over towards Web who looked like he was staring bullets at the back of Joe's head who sat in front of him, his jaw clenched.

Okay, so maybe Catherine wasn't the biggest fan of taking Liebgott on 'expeditions' that dealt with men who were Nazis but he was more willing to go and translate than Webster was.

Webster had reluctantly all but joined in.

Skinny, well, Skinny was there for the hell of it, it seemed, and plus giving an angry Joe Liebgott the wheel was not the grandest of ideas, until he cooled down at least, even as a cab driver.

It's a wonder Hazel was the only one that could calm his hot-head down.

As they slowly approached the home, Skinny pulled to a stop. And instead of looking at the house, Catherine looked around at where they were - this beautiful paradise.

The sky was so bright and so blue, the air smelled sweet, very much filled with fresh mountain air rolling down from the Alps, everything was so bright, with the vibrant green grass and you could practically look out and see the slightly foggy Zell Am See below.

Even ravaged by war, Europe had to be such a beautiful place.

But a cruel person lived in the nearby home.

Catherine could feel the sun's rays beating down on her, working its way into every fiber of her being, nestling in, making her ODs too warm it felt. But maybe it was also the anger. Catherine remembered the camps too distinctively to even try and sympathize. It seemed if they didn't move towards the house soon, Joe would blow his top.

" Lieb, I fucking hate this." Catherine heard Web utter from beside her, exhaustion in his voice, a silent plea that maybe they could turn the jeep around now and forget this even happened. 

" Oh, Jesus Christ," Joe muttered, more in an anguished sigh of annoyance with the man. The two had always seemed to but heads, especially after Webster showed after Bastogne, with the biggest smile on his face, which clearly wasn't the smartest move.

" They fingered him. He was in the fucking room, Web." Joe said firmly back, " One of those polacks that was at the slave camps said this is where the guy lives," Joe pointed for emphasis, " right here." Catherine sighed. 

" Which camp?" Webster asked, utterly exasperated that he was sitting here.

" Whatever camp." Joe answered, pissed. Web stared hard at Joe. 

" I'm under direct orders and I'm happy to follow it. " Joe said firmly, before pushing himself up and out of the passenger seat, cocking his pistol, with white knuckles and making his ascent towards the unassuming Nazi. Catherine slowly looked over towards Web with a bored expression.

" You grow numb to it, Web." she whispered sadly, before jumping out with Skinny and following after Joe. It was true, even if it felt it weren't.

Numbness was the only way to block out some of the pain.

As Catherine slowly followed after Joe, with Skinny a few feet in front of her, Web came hurrying past her to Joe's side and almost immediately the bickering between the two started and Catherine just about blew her top herself.

Reminding herself though, she was in fact a Lieutenant in the US Military, a paratrooper, she held rank. She had to hold up some sort of will power against the men, a sense of exemplary leadership. A leader in her mind had to uphold that.

Their bickering was filled with accusations back and forth, between one and the other. But she couldn't choose a side and they both made equally valid points for Joe and for Webster.

Joe was right, he was a Nazi Commandant, and for what those camps looked like, he deserved to be executed for what he did for other humans. Keeping in mind that Hazel held one of the top spots on his 'Think of Daily' list most likely, who was Polish - Catherine knew that Joe was thinking of the fact Hazel could've been in those camps - he himself could've been in those camps. Catherine knew it had upset Joe and Hazel a lot, more than anyone and Catherine had sobbed.

But Webster made equally valid points back to Joe. They didn't know which camp he was from, they were here because he was a Nazi and the way Webster thought of the war aligned with Catherine at certain points and it broke away on others. But in the end, they were both angry.

And anger was a motivator.

Joe had stormed away from Webster in his normal hot headed fashion and Catherine had slowly approached him with another set of bored eyes.

" War is hell." she managed to say before slowly stepping past him towards where Joe had gone, the pistol hanging in his grip.

By the time the door had been busted open by Joe, the pistol held up and firmly in his grasp, his eyes like they were on fire, Catherine had opted to lean up against the house and smoke a cigarette. Joe could easily take care of this, finish this off - and then they could forget this ever happened in the first place. She droned out their voices, the German, the English, all of it.

She opted to stare out towards the Alps, the peaceful mountains that towered over Zell Am See and had seen war all the way back since when they were first created by glaciers.

It hurt to hear what Joe said to the man, but she knew Joe was hurting, everyone virtually knew that Joe and Hazel still hurt from the concentration camps, for people being prosecuted for the fact they were who they were.

It was vile.

She never would understand Joe and Hazel's pain, but she could understand where it was human beings this was being down to. It was so cruel and so wrong to put humans in camps like that. It was twisted, disgusting and utterly vile, like poison. People who do that should be executed.

Catherine looked up when she saw Webster suddenly appear in front of her, clearly shaken up and scarred. She watched as Webster slowly lit up the cigarette in his shaky grasp. Catherine sighed. Skinny was the next to appear shortly after, scratching the back of his head, as the yelling inside continued.

" He's guilty," Skinny said softly, " Liebgott says so."

" He probably is," Webster answered, his voice trembling slightly, as he didn't dare blink. But instead, a loud gunshot echoed from inside. Catherine let her eyes shut as she waited for the door to burst open.

Quick, level footsteps approached from the opposite side of the door as it was thrown open and instead the Nazi Commandant appeared on the other side, racing forward, running, far, far away, as fast as he could it seemed, trying to escape, trying his complete and utter best to get away. There was a patch of blood near his neck, an evident wound - Joe must've been angry. Then Joe appeared, racing out, and Catherine pushed up from the side of the home as he aimed his gun but it jammed instead. He tried again, but ultimately he failed.

" Goddamn son of a bitch. Shoot him." Joe muttered, whipping around to look at Webster and then to Catherine. As the Nazi Commandant continued up the hill, Webster stood staring. 

" Shoot him!" Joe yelled, his voice like that of a child's, yelling for his toy.

It reminded Catherine - they were all just children in a war not made for them.

" No," Webster answered, his voice firm - he wouldn't. Then there was one single shot and all eyes moved towards the source.

Skinny.

It echoed like a scream through the mountains, bouncing of the Alps and the large open and vast sky, down into the valley of Zell Am See below. Catherine watched the man drop to his knees, then to his stomach, until his head hit the ground.

Dead.

Just like that.

Skinny slowly lowered his weapon, he seemed fed up as well. Catherine could only pull the cigarette from her lips and let out a low drag before eventually turning and walking away slowly back to the truck.

That was just it, another person dead.

Except they'd remember this one among many others.

The drive back was one filled with utter silence as Catherine smoked away and Skinny sat by her side completely unfazed by the actions he took. The only tension radiated from the two hot heads seated in front of her. Catherine passed her cigarette to Skinny who took a drag as Catherine looked between the two. Joe's driving was manageable and for the most part, under control, she didn't discount the fact that his knuckles were white, from the amount of control he had to hold himself back from. Joe's voice was rigid when he spoke.

" Officers don't run." Joe said, his body stiff. 

" The war's over. Anybody would run." Webster clarified firmly back, irritation sweltering his voice. Joe managed to glance over at the man for a brief second before looking back at the road. They didn't utter another word as they drove back into the town, through the streets of children outside, people everywhere walking the streets, joy. There wasn't joy previously on that mountain top.

When the jeep pulled into its stop, Webster quickly made a move to jump out. He was gone in seconds and evidently pissed. By the time the other 3 had removed themselves Joe plopped the keys right back into her hand and she looked at him. There was a look in his eye.

" I had to do it, Cath." Joe said firmly watching her, " If I didn't-"

" Joe," Catherine said, stopping him, " I know why you had to, and for me, you had every right, that sight of those camps makes me disgusted. You don't have to apologize to me about one thing." Joe watched her and then nodded.

" War is hell," she muttered again before stepping past Joe and Skinny following. Joe was left in the stark sunlight in the middle of Austria, a pistol that had just taken a life. And his heart was filled with rage.

Man, he missed his girlfriend.

Running a hand through his hair, Joe gently patted the jeep and went in search of Hazel - maybe he could cuddle into her like he always did and let his guard down for a moment or two and let her run her fingers through his hair as she held him. He usually felt better just being there next to her.

Joe found Hazel curled on her bunk, reading, a tiny smile on her face, unbothered by anything. Joe immediately let his barriers fall at the sight of her and when he approached the bed she looked up with a grin. It fell when she realized his eyes were sad and tortured.

" Hey," she said. Joe gently sighed before crawling in by her side, wrapping his arms around her waist and snuggling right into her side. Hazel gently looked down at him and watched him snuggle closer, shutting his eyes. 

" Aw, Joe, you okay?" Hazel said reaching up to run her fingers through his hair gently.

" I just wanted to see you," he mumbled against her. Hazel smiled softly, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer to her as he nuzzled further into her side for even more comfort. 

" What are you reading?" he mumbled out.

" The Little Prince," Hazel said and Joe watched the book with soft eyes. 

" Can you....?"

" Read out loud?" Hazel asked softly, Joe nodded against her. 

" Alright," Hazel said," get comfy." Joe laughed lightly, snuggling closer, his firm grip around her waist tightening.

" It took me a long time to find out where he came from." Hazel read.

" Who?" Joe asked. Hazel giggled quietly.

" The Little Prince." Hazel answered with a smile. 

" Oh. Okay, you can start again, sorry." Joe said and Hazel gently ruffled his hair, with a soft kiss to his fluffy little head.

" The little prince who asked me so many questions never seemed to hear mine. It is thanks to the odd word, here and there, that everything was revealed to me. For instance, when he saw my aeroplane for the first time ( I shall not draw my aeroplane; that would be far too complicated for me) he asked me: ' What is that object?' " Hazel read softly. 

" It's the aeroplane, dude." Joe said and Hazel giggled as Joe snorted. He already felt much better, just here by her side. And for that moment, it was peaceful enough for the two of them.

" Did you want to talk about it?" Hazel asked him softly, as he only cuddled closer, like an innocent child. 

" Yes." he said, but his voice was soft, quiet, and guarded.

" Did it have something to do with Web, Skinny and Cath?" Hazel asked him. Joe nodded against her. 

" You know I'll listen, right?" she whispered softly and Joe nodded against her.

" One of the men at the camps lived in a home a little aways from the town, orders were to execute him, so it's what I did." Joe said against her, inhaling her warm vanilla scent, trying to calm himself down, trying to tell himself, he was here with Hazel and there was nothing to get worked up about. 

" Skinny was the one that got him, but Web refused to shoot him. He was one of them, Hazel, he deserved to die." Joe whispered and only squeezed her tighter as Hazel frowned softly.

" All I was thinking about was the fact it could've been either one of us in there, you know?" Joe said, his voice soft," I couldn't live with that, live with the fact that he got to live after what he put those people through. I had to, Hazel, I had to." Hazel softly squeezed him tighter to her, holding him close, letting him know through her touch that she was there for him. 

" I would've done the same, you know?" she whispered and Joe looked up towards Hazel's face illuminated by the golden sun through the window, a natural beauty, " I'm proud of being Polish, and seeing what was done to people of my homeland, it's not right. I would've done the same." Joe watched her with shining eyes. She smiled in the soft light.

" You ever have nightmares about the camps?" Joe asked her. Hazel nodded softly.

" The camps, that night, you getting sick, you crying," Hazel whispered, shaking her head, " I don't like seeing you cry, Joe." Joe watched her. Hazel met his eyes with a sad gaze.

" I try to forget about it, know that it doesn't control my life, but sometimes it's hard to just simply do that." Hazel said, keeping herself strong with the topic. 

" I feel the same way." Joe whispered and Hazel smiled softly.

" I don't know what I did to deserve you, Joe, truly, I don't know what I could've done." she said and Joe felt a tiny smile on his face as he looked up at her.

" You were you." Joe said and Hazel couldn't keep the smile from her face. Joe always made her feel loved. And with that, Joe cuddled right into her side again, and softly shut his eyes, encased in the warm embrace of the woman he loved.


	43. little world

_" 'There's too much risk in loving.' the young boy said._

_'No.'_

_Said the old man._

_' There's too much risk in not.'"_

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Austria truly was an alpine paradise.

Everyone felt it was, just everything that encompassed Austria was so vastly different from any of the other places Easy Company had been. Aldbourne, Normandy, Holland, Mourmelon, Bastogne, Germany - Austria by far was the most beautiful.

Speirs' PT training was keeping up and keeping people fit, focused in on the fact there was a war on, that soldiers in the Pacific were still inevitably fighting the war that the world had been involved in.

Catherine got daily briefings from Speirs and then was transferred to Battalion for meetings with Dick and Nixon and then sometimes even Sink.

And each meeting went the same - Pacific this, Pacific that, make sure the men and women are ready.

But as promised, Hazel's birthday, July 22nd was a date no one were to miss.

When Hazel open her eyes, she was greeted to an empty barrack. No one from 2nd platoon was there, but their beds had been messily discarded, things strewn everywhere. Hazel looked around, slowly sitting up from her warm bed.

Had she missed wake up call? She swung her feet over the edge and instead of touching the ground she touch a box. Hazel's feet jerked upwards and she peered down, seeing a box with her name on top in Lizzie's handwriting. Hazel quirked her head to the side before leaning over to pick up the box and pull it up into her lap. Hazel looked at it and then gently lifted the box open. Hazel softly lent her hand into the box and slowly pulled out 3 picture frames. Hazel curiously unwrapped the wrapping around them and had to force down the tears at the first picture.

It was of her, Catherine and Lizzie, all in their Virago uniforms back in 1943, in April it seemed when they were in Europe together. They looked so much younger, so bright, so happy. Hazel let a smile cross her face as happy tears filled her eyes just looking at the photo.

Slowly placing it down, the next picture made her let out a laugh. It was of a group of them before D-Day, on one of their last nights before the jump - most of the guys from 2nd platoon, as they were getting ready for bed that night, some with wet hair, toothbrushes hanging out of their mouths, others with smirks as wide as the Grand Canyon. Hazel teared up seeing Bill and Joe Toye. She missed them.

Slowly placing down the frame she picked up the final photo and a tiny smile crossed her face. It was her and Lieb, back in 1943, on one of the visits to Swindon in late November. They both looked so young, but by that time, they were the best of friends already, annoying each other endlessly - now look at them. She felt nostalgic with the 3 photos. She'd grown so much, they all had. Her heart gave a soft, dull ache, but at the same time, she felt a sense of calm with those 3 photos.

They were of the people she loved.

" Hey," a voice said and Hazel looked up to see it was Joe. Her eyes lit up and a smile lit up her blushing cheeks.

" Joe!" she said as Joe gently shut the door before running across the room and immediately encasing her in a hug, collapsing on top of her onto the bed as she giggled in his ear. He held her tightly, not hesitating to press soft kisses to her cheek as she hugged him tightly.

" Joe, it tickles!" she squealed as Joe laughed against her cheek. Joe softly pulled up from Hazel as her bed head splayed around her head on the bed. Joe smirked.

" Happy Birthday," he whispered and Hazel smiled softly up at him. Joe softly pressed a kiss to her lips as she felt herself blush further.

Yeah, she was still getting used to the fact Joe and her could kiss, she felt so comforted by him.

Joe pulled back with a smirk.

" You look beautiful you know," Joe said and Hazel blushed.

" You're blushing," Joe said with a laugh and Hazel softly shoved at his shoulder.

" You're the one doing that, Lieb." she said and Joe let out a laugh as he softly laid down by her side and the two gazed at each other.

His eyes were wondrous she felt - she had never loved brown eyes more than she had when she looked at him.

" I can't believe I'm 21," she whispered softly and Joe smirked gently.

" It's because you're too goddamn pure for this world," Joe said and Hazel smiled with a giggle, rolling onto her side into his war embrace as Joe softly pressed a kiss to her head again as she snuggled into him.

" This was a nice gift," she whispered and Joe laughed, " but the pictures were nice too." 

" You see the one from '43?" Joe asked her and she giggled.

" Yes," she said with giggles escaping from her mouth, " I didn't think you looked that young, Joe." Joe let out a laugh, before nuzzling his head into her neck.

" I don't remember you looking that cute either, Parker." he said and she giggled, cuddling him into her.

" You know, when this war ends, I wish we can have this, ya know? And I can wake up to you, not in a foxhole." she said and Joe laughed against her neck.

" That'd be nice," Joe said," knowing you're next to me." Hazel's hand found its way into his hair again and Joe sighed against her, making her heart warm.

" I've thought about life at home with you, Joe, away from all this," she whispered, " more than I probably should in a war like this." Joe smiled.

" When we get back, to the States, I'm taking you out on a real date, in San Fransisco, and I'll show you that place I was talking about, where you can see the stars by the city." Joe whispered,

" Just like you've always wanted." Hazel smiled.

" I've always wanted that more than anything, Joe." she whispered softly.

" I promise that I'll give that to you," Joe said softly back against her neck. Hazel softly let her eyes shut and for a moment it was just her and Joe, encased in each other's warmth together, the soft sunlight streaming in through the open windows, golden rays of light, gently dancing across their faces. 

" I'd cuddle with you forever if there wasn't a group of paratroopers waiting for you." Joe said and Hazel smiled gently.

" You know I'd do the same," she whispered back.

" Catherine said there's an extra room, up in the officers' deck, just for the two of us tonight." Joe whispered, " I said yes." Hazel's heart missed a beat. A night with Joe was all she could wish for, for her birthday. She smiled softly.

" Then I can cuddle you even more." she whispered against his head and Joe let out a soft sigh, snuggling in for an extra tight squeezed. 

" Joe, she up yet?" a knocking on the door came.

George.

" With all that knocking she is now!" Joe yelled back and Hazel laughed, making Joe smirk. 

" C'mon," Joe said, softly helping her sit up, brushing her bed head from her face with a lazy smile," it's your birthday, we have the day off, it's time to celebrate you." Hazel watched him.

" But first," Joe said, gently pulling something out from his pocket, a slender envelope with a bow on the corner," this is for you. I have a few other things, but I only wanted you to see this." Hazel watched him as he gently placed the box in her hands. Hazel looked up at him with soft eyes.

" It's okay, open it," he said and Hazel gently leaned against his touch, as his arm wrapped around her. Hazel softly pulled open the envelope and pulled out what was inside.

" I know it's not much, but..." Joe started softly as Hazel pulled out a letter. She recognized the handwriting.

It was Grace's handwriting.

Grace Burnett's.

With Harry's right beside hers.

Hazel's eyes welled with tears suddenly as she turned and looked up at Joe with shining eyes.

" You contacted them?" she whispered, watching as Joe softly grinned at her, cupping cheek as a tear traveled along her soft skin.

" Yeah, just for you." Joe whispered.

" I love you, Joe." she whispered softly, watching him with tear filled eyes.

Grace and Harry had been like second parents to her, caring for her through everything, protecting her, making her feel like she were in an actual home. They had cared for her through the beginning of her training and her first campaign. She couldn't even describe the love they had made Hazel feel and with Joe contacting them, for her birthday, it made Hazel more emotional than she thought she could be.

" Read it," Joe urged her and Hazel let out a tiny laugh as she opened the letter up. Slowly pulling open the flap of the letter, Hazel felt her eyes well further.

And as she read, she never realized how much you could miss a person until suddenly you were consumed by them. 

Their words resonated in her heart, each and every one hitting her heart over and over again, making a little part of her heart that had been so broken in this war mend back together.

But the part that hit her the most, she knew would never leave her mind.

_War's always been this angry, hate-filled, persona, and upon receiving you the epitome of innocence, of a wise, young soul, of a gentle and caring person, of someone who held morals for humans and for herself, who let her emotions and the love in her heart be worn upon her sleeve, overshadow any of what the war could've possibly offered. You, Hazel, knew you were stronger than war, you knew that about yourself, even if on the outside you didn't. Deep down you knew you were stronger than what the war could possibly provide to you, both Harry and I knew that. And I still know to this very day that you hold the same standards about yourself. I know you'll never let this war take you over from the most beautiful you woman we've ever had the pleasure of meeting and loving._

The letter was what she needed on her birthday, a letter from people that loved her for who she was, a letter from people who had been complete strangers, but had all but taken her in as if she were one of their own and be the only reason Hazel didn't completely break getting back to Aldbourne after Normandy. Hazel softly look up at Joe.

" Thank you," she whispered softly to Joe. Softly cuddling into his side in the warm hug, Hazel felt that maybe finally there was more to this life than war. There was love in each and every form - a good love.

That day and night was some of the most fun Hazel had ever had. The bar was alive with life, there were presents, hugs and happiness everywhere. Something Hazel hadn't thought about in so long. There was dancing, food, drinks, Babe drunkly performing a song or two that quite possibly attracted more towns women than he thought, and just pure joy.

And of course, Lizzie and Catherine gave the warmest hugs, and the three of them even just got time to themselves before the boys got even crazier. The presents were some of the nicest things Hazel felt she had ever received, and of course Joe had snuck Hazel privately into the back, peppering his face with kisses before giving her the few gifts he had for her, just for her. Just a few little things that represented their friendship and their relationship in more ways that one. A Hershey's chocolate bar, as well as a star necklace Joe had found in one of the local stores, a load of pictures, consisting of everything from Aldbourne until now, some that made her laugh and others that made her tear up, but brought back the memories she missed more than anything.

And then Joe had to run out for a moment and come back with a bouquet of yellow flowers in his grasp, just like the ones he had brought her when she had been sick on the New Year and just like the ones on her birthday last year. Joe had always known these were her favorites.

But then came time for the year-long awaited drink that Tab had pledged he'd give Hazel on her birthday. Hazel sat staring at the white wine in front of her.

" I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to, Hazel." Tab said as Joe, Lizzie, Catherine and George also crowded around. Hazel glanced at them.

" I want to," Hazel said, a determined expression masking her face, " I really want to."

" Take your time of course, it's your first one, it might burn..." Catherine said and Hazel glanced at her with a tiny smile. Slowing reaching forward, she let her hand wrap around the glass and then sucking in a tiny breath slowly tipped the glass back for a sip.

When it hit her lips and then her mouth, she was suddenly surprised?

At the taste?

And then the slight burn she got from even the slightest taste.

Pulling the cup down from her lips, her face twisted up into a slightly pained expression as the group awaited her reaction.

" That'll take some time to get used to." she said with a small, pained expression and the group broke out into chuckles, as Hazel giggled slightly, coughing a bit yet again at that burning sensation. Tab snickered.

" Was it worth the promise back in Normandy?" Tab asked her and Hazel felt a small smile spread on her face. She remembered her first jump as if it were yesterday. Hazel softly placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it softly.

" Every second." she said. Because it she got to be here with this same group at the end, she'd do it all over, as many times as she needed.

And she knew the others, the men they'd lost, the ones who had helped her in this journey, who had helped each other, they were in here in a spirit of the most unimaginable kind. Hazel softly peered over her shoulder and smiled.

For a moment she felt she saw Bill, Joe Toye and Babe playing darts again with Buck. She swore she saw Hoobler and Bull with a few replacements, laughing away at some joke Hoobler said. Or maybe Dukeman sitting with Smokey, Shifty and Alton, sipping beers and making a toast. There was even a distinct memory of Skip, Penkala and Malarkey, snickering in their little group, smiles on their youthful faces. Hazel softly bit back her lip.

Each of those men, the ones that were gone, the ones that were still alive, the ones that were here, each of them Hazel would love endlessly - no matter what. They were her brothers, they were the family she would've never suspected she would've gotten from anyone. It was more than what she felt she deserved.

But she had this company, this special group, these men and these women.

And their journey together, she couldn't have been more thankful for each and every lesson that she had learned, each and every painful experience that built her into who she was today.

Sometimes you had to break to let the light in, however many times you needed it to happen - light would always find a way into some of the darkest of times.

Hazel had to admit it, sneaking into the officer's quarters with Joe Liebgott was one of the most fun things she'd done in a long time. Of course, Catherine had been a wonderful distraction, but hearing Joe have to physically suppress his laughs the entire time they raced down the darkened hallway towards the room was the cutest and funniest thing she'd ever seen in her entire life. But they burst inside the room, laughs bubbling past their lips.

" You're laugh is seriously the funniest thing ever, Joe." she said, with bright red cheeks from the heat and from laughing as Joe chuckled. 

" I just felt like I was in one of those old movies, with the prisoners escaping and stuff, you're laughing didn't make it any easier either." he said with a chuckle as Hazel giggled. The room was softly lit by a lamp in the corner and a gentle breeze traveling from the balcony towards them. it was all so peaceful.

Hazel's laughs suddenly faded as she looked towards the darkened balcony, the doors open with a view of lake Zell Am See, the moonlight and starlight glistening upon the water, a soft breeze blowing in, and tiny little lights around the mass of the lake lighting up the surface of the rippling water. Hazel softly stepped forward and Joe watched her with a soft gaze, that little smile quirked up on his lips. Hazel slowly let her hands rest against the cold balcony, before she softly let her gaze go up towards the stars.

They were so bright, so luminous, shining down on her, as all she could hear were crickets, their soft hum like that of any normal summer night.

Hazel smiled, curled her arms around herself as she looked down with soft eyes. She looked over at the figure beside her, Joe, gently leaning against the railing beside her, looking up at the stars with a soft smile of his own.

" I think the stars are trying to wish you a Happy Birthday as well." Joe said and Hazel giggled softly, her soft eyes peering up towards his own. 

" Just you and me here is one of the best birthday presents," she whispered softly, " where there's no war for a moment, just us and the stars." Joe smiled softly at her, his hand softly cupping her cheek.

" I'm happy to be here with you two, Parker." he said with a smile. Hazel watched his eyes, how soft they truly were in this moment, softer than any other time in this war. She was happy too.

Once they got back inside the room, they had removed the main Class A tops- and instead sat with socked feet, Hazel in her skirt and collared shirt, Joe in his slacks and collared shirt, ties loosened, Hazel curled up in his side, softly letting her eyes rest as she lied against him, a lazy smile on her fast. She was so warm, content, and happy, she felt so safe against him, alone in this luxurious room, with a soft breeze blowing in, the chirping of the crickets, the soft songs playing on the radio and the slightly dimmed out lights. It was all so peaceful.

Hazel could listen to the thumping of Joe's heart all day if she could.

Just to hear it's soft, gentle pulse, one after the other right beside her heart. Hazel just loved being with him, she loved him.

That night, snuggled in Joe's arms, into his warm white shirt, listening to his soft heart beating over and over, his warm arms holding her close in the darkness of the night was all she wanted.

Joe knew she wasn't ready to take it further yet, he knew about what love meant to her and was willing to take it as slow as she needed, he loved her more than he could imagine.

Simply just having her in his arms, cuddled into one another, in the dark room, a warmth of just the two of them being alone, was comforting enough.

When Hazel opened her eyes the following morning, snuggled into Joe's side with a soft light glowing inside the room, a warm lake breeze, and the gentle snores filling her ears which came from Joe softly sleeping beside her, she smiled, yearning herself to snuggle closer to him, and just be with him.

Hazel let her eyes open a bit more and softly glanced up towards the sleeping Joe. She loved how innocent he looked when he slept, he was always at his softest in this time. But then she watched him smile, a lazy smirk spreading on his face as his eyes slowly managed to flutter open and he looked down at her with gentle eyes.

" Morning, beautiful." he whispered and Hazel blushed, a smile on her face. 

" Hi, Joe." she whispered softly. She watched him with wide innocent eyes.

" I like waking up beside you, Joe," she whispered. Joe felt his smile spread.

" After this war, I want to wake up beside you in bed," she said softly, her eyes filled with hope.

" Then what do you say? You and me? San Fransisco?" Joe said and Hazel quite possibly felt her heart pound straight out of her chest.

Hazel couldn't up but grin as she sat up, wrapping her arms right around him and hugging him even closer, her heart racing. Joe let out a laugh, wrapping his own arms around her, pulling her closer, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms, the two of them on this beautiful morning, without a bother in the world. Hazel softly pulled back and looked down at him, cupping his face in her little hands as Joe had called it. Joe looked up at her, watching the golden sun gently spread across her fast, her soft breaths tickling his nose, her eyes glowing.

Then she softly pressed her lips to his, their kiss encasing one another in the soft morning light. Softly pulling back, their foreheads lightly laying against one another, Hazel and Joe laughed lightly to one another.

" Do you think we can visit my mom first?" Hazel asked softly, " She has her little farm market, and she has Daisy, but she'd really want to meet you." Joe watched her eyes, how close they were to his own, how he felt he could pick out each and every speck of blue in her eyes.

" I've always wanted to meet the woman who raised you, Hazel," Joe said softly, and Hazel smiled softly, meeting his gaze again. Hazel smiled softly again before not hesitating to press her lips to his, only to have more passion grow between the two than ever before.

A love that Hazel had dreamed about once, and never thought she'd get, but now she was sitting here with, her entire world in her little hands.


	44. family

" Family not only need to consist of merely those whom we share blood, but also for those whom we'd give blood."

_\- Charles Dickens_

✰✰✰

Within the coming days, Catherine was focusing more on making sure alcohol and weapons were more under control because there were a few too many times a drunk replacement found his way to supplies and was a reckless head case in Austria. It was exhausting really.

Catherine and the NCOs were like chickens with their heads cut off trying to keep people in line, trying to keep the company in line and people doing what they were supposed to be doing. Drinking was fine, but when they were still training and inevitably heading towards another war zone, it was not ideal.

" It's not fun keeping boys filled with testosterone where they're supposed to be on a night with a full moon." Catherine said as Nixon chuckled, pouring her a drink.

" You thought it would be?" Nixon questioned as he turned sliding the drink to her. Catherine made a face as Dick slowly entered the room with a few papers.

" Ah, the professor." Nixon said as Dick rolled his eyes and put the papers down in front of Catherine.

" Just in," Dick said as Catherine sighed.

" Should I be surprised? No, it's more geography I'm assuming?" Catherine said and Dick gave her a sympathetic face. She sighed.

" Oh, c'mon Miss. Cornell, I thought you loved this stuff." Nixon said as Catherine sipped her drink.

" I loved it when I wasn't about to go fight a whole other war." Catherine stated as Nixon smirked. Catherine sighed, softly moving between her cigarette and her drink as Dick shuffled through his own papers. 

" You managing to keep the boys under control? Speirs holding up?" Dick asked her. Catherine let out a drag.

" If you consider replacements fighting over the last bottle of schnapps in the streets of Austria, under control, then yes we're doing fine." Catherine said and Nixon chuckled. Dick gave her a look.

" They're fine, we have some of the best NCOs in the Airborne, they're just getting harder to pull together now. I mean I have Chuck telling me he has replacements wandering out for drinks in the middle of the night or Tab telling me, a mini fire started because some fought over how to share a cigarette. They're restless." Catherine said.

" Nothing like Sobel's training," Nixon told her and Catherine nodded, understanding immediately.

" Or Thermes." she agreed, " Speirs though, he's right up there with them, it's just these replacements, they don't know the true horror of war, what it does to someone, and they go back to their barracks and act like they're on holiday. It's....it's not great."

" Well, maybe only a year or two of this left, and then we take a boat back to the States and boom we're home, war over." Nixon said as Catherine lulled her head over to look at him.

" How many more lives lost though?" she asked him," War's bullshit, I'm so done with having to fight and get violent. Why can't we just talk like humans?"

" Thank God I'm not the only one who has wondered that." Nixon stated, taking out his smoke. 

" We've done the best we could for this company and now we're supposed to lead them to their deaths into Tokyo - I wouldn't say that's how I'd spend my summer break, pfft." Catherine said. Nixon softly reached forward and pushed her drink closer to her.

" Have a little more of that drink, Cath." Nixon said and Catherine smirked. It wasn't good, but sometimes drinking brought the edge off a bit from the war effort. 

" Thoughts, Dick, you've been quiet." Nixon said.

" He's pissed because he couldn't jump out there early," Harry said coming into, to place cookies in front of them all before sipping a bit from the pitcher of nearby beer. 

" Where'd you wander off to?" Nixon asked him.

" Oh you know, cookies," Harry said and Dick rolled his eyes.

" C'mon, Dick what's bothering ya, you usually have a strong opinion." Nixon said. 

" What's this about?" Harry asked and met Catherine's eyes. Catherine merely sighed, sitting back in her chair.

" The other stupid war we have to go parachute into." Catherine clarified. Harry nodded with an 'OH' face. 

" I'd have rather parachuted in and gotten it over with, but the Colonel thinks the company needs me more, that I've done enough." Dick said.

" You think they're holding out for something? that they think this war may end, so they're keeping us held back, doing anything really to keep us held back?" Catherine questioned, watching her smoke rise to the ceiling. The three men glanced her way.

" Just an observation." Catherine said.

" Sir! Sir!" a voice suddenly started yelling from out in the hall. Catherine slowly sat up, turning over her shoulder as one of Dick's runners came running into the room, wide eyes, frantic, face pale.

" Someone's been hit." the runner said and that's all it took for Dick to go running straight out of the room after him. Catherine watched the two disappear as her heart raced. Hit? Who exactly has been hit? Catherine slowly looked back towards the other two and they sat quietly. Catherine slowly settled back down into her chair. It would be harder to keep everyone together - and each day it was growing harder and harder.

Private John Janovec had been the one hit.

81 points.

He had 81 points, 4 away from a trip home, to get out of this war.

The world felt cruel, too cruel for Easy.

With the war in Europe over, they thought they'd be brought a sense of peace, relief, maybe an ounce of freedom, but instead they were thrust into another and were all but surrounded by death, sadness and grief.

And the impending doom, of the buzz of Operation Virago growing in the United States.

Articles flew out every week of people who had scrapped the bottom of the barrel for information but never got it quite right in the end. No one would ever get it right, no matter how many articles were written about it. Only Virago members would be the ones to get it right - they'd gone through it.

Hazel hoped her own message would somehow make it through within the coming days. She had read it out loud to Johnny and Bull on her scrap piece of paper and they had all but looked like proud parents watching their child go off to school. She just hoped they wouldn't change anything from the raw, evident truth that encompassed her writing.

Catherine swore that the wind against her face was like pins and needles, sorta like back in Bastogne when she'd do foxhole checks each night, but she knew Dick was just driving at a normal pace. Maybe it was the flashbacks of how it had felt against her cheeks. She wasn't so sure. George's little smile was stuck in her head, and Dick was such a smooth driver that she wasn't entirely focused on anything else. George and her had talked more about a life together and now it was something she yearned for more than anything in the entire world.

" You okay, Cath?" Dick asked her as they drove slowly down the road, her head lulled against her up-bent arm - Dick knew her by now, he knew she wasn't focusing on a thing. 

" Fine," she answered, watching the dark trees rush past, " I'm tired of all this."

" I know you are," Dick said as they slowly came to a stop at the end of the road before turning right, moving back towards HQ at Zell Am See. Briefings brought the two out late at night, they weren't fun briefings either. 

" What are you gonna do when the war ends, Dick?" she asked him, " When you get home I mean?" Dick glanced over at her and then returned his focus to the road.

" Nix offered me a job in New Jersey, figured I'd take him up on the offer." Dick said and Catherine smiled slightly. 

" I hope it goes well for you," she said. Dick smiled.

" You got plans?" he asked her. Dick and Nix and now Harry knew about her and George, but with the war evidently over in Europe, it was odd seeing as they let it slide. But the women, originally Viragos seemed to get many things slid by for them.

They were powerful in their own ways.

Except those three and the women were the only ones that knew and Catherine intended to keep it that way for a while, just like Hazel and Joe - the girls only knew about those two.

" George asked me to go home with him, back to Rhode Island." Catherine said with a soft smile towards Dick, " And I said yes." Dick smiled almost instantly. Catherine met his eye and grinned. 

" You two are good for each other." Dick said, " And even with all this, I know you've been happier." Catherine smiled wide at him.

" I didn't know I could be this happy, but truly I am Dick." she said and Dick grinned, nodding as his hands held the wheel. 

" I'm happy for you two," Dick said, " he was my runner a few days ago, caught him coming from your room." Catherine blushed a bit.

" I knew he just wanted to see you though," Dick said, " so I acted like I didn't see him doing that." Catherine smiled softly. 

" Thanks for that," she said and Dick chuckled. Riding into town, Dick stopped off at where the men were.

" Thanks for the ride, Dick," she said, slapping the jeep and giving a salute.

" Get some rest tonight, we have some more briefings in the morning," Dick said.

" And then the convention, yeah, yeah I know, I promise I'll be looking my best." she said and Dick chuckled.

" See ya," she said as he drove away. Catherine headed into where the men currently were. Stepping through the foyer she immediately sat George coming towards her noticing her.

" Hey, Lieutenant!" he called like he usually did, when the other guys were in the room, trying to keep it somewhat under wraps. 

" Hey," she said, but she didn't miss that signature smirk on his lips whenever he looked at her.

" Lieutenant!" Malarkey called excitedly, " Was wondering when Winters would drop you off; how was the briefing, got any news?" 

" If news as in, keep training the men, then no, nothing, same old, same old." she said as she slowly lowered herself into a nearby chair with a sigh as Johnny came up to her.

" Anything from the Pacific?" he asked. She shook her head.

" Nothing but the usual." Catherine said with a sigh. Nothing but the usual - as always.

Lizzie and Gene had been cleaning up the aid station, turning off lights, leaving windows open to air out the place, watching as medics headed out for the night and surgeons left, when chaos sprung up from outside the aid station. Lizzie met Gene's eyes, which narrowed and darkened. He gently stepped up to her side, placing a hand on her elbow as the two met eyes again, the yelling getting louder. 

That's when Tab burst in through the door looking at the two.

" Gene! Liz!" he called and then noticed the two standing there, " It's Chuck!" Lizzie's heart stopped and her hand reached out to Gene's bicep, grasping onto him to keep herself steady.

Chuck? 

Chuck?

What had happened to Chuck? She met Gene's eyes and then the two were off running one after the other.

The second Lizzie stepped out into the dark night, she was hit by the warm Austrian breeze delivered by the Alps, and almost immediately her senses focused on Chuck and the red-hot, angry Speirs that was yelling at stretcher-bearers to move Chuck onto the stretcher.

It was this odd numbness that overtook Lizzie.

Chuck Grant had always been there, one of the nicest and funniest NCOs she'd been around and in times when she wasn't herself, Chuck had been there - they had some of the best conversations together. he was an original Toccoa man as well, another one with not enough points to go home, another causality inflicted by this war, when a war wasn't even on in Europe. So then, Lizzie narrowed her eyes and hurried forward.

" What the hell happened?" she snapped looking at the two frantic, wide-eyed replacements that stood shaking in their boots side by side.

" It was some replacement, he was drunk-"

" And there was this gun in his hand-"

" And people scattered on the ground in the mud-"

" I think he called one a German-"

" No, no, it was British-"

" Hey!" Lizzie yelled, her hands pressed to the sides of Chuck's head, her eyes narrowed like a firing breathing dragon of desolation, " To Chuck! What happened to Chuck? Bullet, knife, what the hell was it?"

" A bullet. A bullet to the head." the one replacement said and Lizzie grunted, turning to press her hands to the wound, blood, crimson red covering her fingers as she turned and looked back at Gene.

" Get an IV going!" she called to him and Gene took off into the aid station. Lizzie met Speirs' eyes.

" Help me move him." she said as Tab came rushing to her side. Moving Chuck onto the stretcher was the easy part and the replacements were kept outside, worrying, waiting, biting on the ends of their finger nails, anxious to hear about their NCO.

As Gene inserted the blood into Chuck's stream, Lizzie carefully was dressing the wound with her bloodied finger tips. Speirs was right by her side, grasping onto Chuck's limp hand in his own. Chuck might've not felt it but the CO was there. Speirs was there for every member of the company, it didn't matter who. No one messed with Speirs' men and women. That's when the disheveled surgeon came wandering over as Lizzie moved the bandage with Tab's help around Chuck's head.

" Hey," the surgeon said and Lizzie narrowed her eyes. 

" Where were you? We've been waiting." she snapped, eyes cold. The surgeon sent her a look.

" You caught me in a smoke break." he said and Lizzie's gaze turned icy.

Reaching up, she pulled the smoke straight from his lips and stomped it into the ground.

Speirs, Tab and Gene watched the woman, her gaze like an ice queen's staring down the surgeon who stood cowering up at her.

" You could take some time to actually do your job," she hissed. The surgeon glared at her as he stepped forward, lighting up a new cigarette on his lip which Lizzie grew disgruntled at, hanging over Chuck, looking in the freshly cleaned wound. He was scruffy, looking exhausted, and didn't give Lizzie one ounce of himself that looked like he cared one bit. It pissed her off. She opened her mouth but she met Gene's eyes from across the stretcher. His were equal in intensity. She would save her breath.

" Jesus." muttered the surgeon hanging over Chuck with baited breath.

" What?" Speirs asked, his breath quick, his eyes focused on the surgeon almost instantly.

" He's not going to make it." the surgeon replied, bored-like in a sense. Lizzie narrowed her eyes and threatened to step forward but Gene's gaze calmed her. Gene turned his attention to the surgeon.

" You can't operate on him?" Gene said, as if he didn't believe those words for one second.

" Not me. You'd need a brain surgeon." the surgeon answered. You are the surgeon, Lizzie thought. 

" And even if you had one, I don't think there's any hope." the surgeon said, rubbing his eyes with his greasy fingers, half open at that.

" Did you even get a good look at it?!" snapped Lizzie but Gene's eyes made her back off. The surgeon merely wandered away, crushing the old cigarette on the floor again. Lizzie was fuming and she could tell Speirs was too - he just had more control than she did. Lizzie glanced at Speirs and watched as Speirs pointed to Tab.

" You find the shooter, I want him alive." he said firmly to Tab who met his eyes.

" Yes, sir." was Tab's quick answer - Chuck was his friend, he was all of their friends - this was very much personal.

" Come on, help me." Speirs said moving past Lizzie to the top of the stretcher.

" What are you doing?" Tab asked him as Gene adjusted the plasma.

" We're gonna go find a brain surgeon." Speirs said as Tab moved towards the head of the stretcher as well, moving the stretcher up from the position it was in. Lizzie's eyes set blazing, like a fire cooking meat, tantalizing, flames burning every inch. She had been tired of war for too long at this point, tired of fighting and fighting and still getting absolutely no ounce of happiness in the end.

Lizzie was the one to throw open the door into the dark night, warm Austrian air hitting her body as she did so. Lizzie was quick to jump up into the jeep so that the stretcher could be fed towards her. Tab jumped up beside her as Speirs fed the stretcher up onto the back of the jeep. Lizzie met Tab's eyes, her gaze icy as she watched evident fear and anger and exhaustion built up in Tab's eyes.

This was one of his best friends - they'd shared foxholes in Bastogne together, laughed at each other's jokes, comforted one another. Tab deserved to see his friend live. It was like a silent message to Tab, letting him know Lizzie would do anything to save Chuck.

As Tab moved out then, Gene jumped up beside Lizzie, as she gently moved to Chuck's head, her gentle fingers, prodding around the wound to make sure the bandage held and where the surgeon's greasy fingers had been, hadn't done a thing to the bare wound. Softly watching Chuck, her heart raced.

This was Chuck Grant.

Chuck.

A Toccoa Man - who just like Shifty - would not make it home without a scar of war to prove it.

A scar not even from a battle, but inflicted by his own kind.

That's what hurt the most.

Lizzie softly glanced over towards Gene in the darkness, his eyes like iced over diamonds, with a warm spot in the center. He was angry too, but he was also a medic. Speirs took off in a matter of seconds, speeding through the streets of Zell Am See. Lizzie grasped onto the back of the jeep, as her one hand stayed flush against the exposed part of Chuck's face. Sweat dripped down the brim of her forehead, they needed to find the brain surgeon - the regular one was no help whatsoever.

Lizzie was more determined than ever, even she'd be willing to perform brain surgery just to save Chuck.

Hazel had been standing in the darkened hallway, leaned up against the cool walls of the room, arms crossed, head downcast, trying to keep her eyes awake the best she could - she was exhausted. After training today, she had cat napped for a bit and she was already tired again. Joe was next to her, talking to Popeye who leaned up against the wall across from them, their conversation drowned out by the knocking around inside her head, something she had grown to used to by now.

Chuck had been shot.

They'd all heard the news that had eventually come wandering inside the building where a majority of the platoons would hang out at night, and the men were angry, they all were.

Hazel had been quiet the entire time though, and she was always quiet, but this was a deadly quiet with a murderous look playing in her eye.

No member harmed a member of Easy Company, her family.

No one even laid a hand on them.

And now someone had - they'd soon regret it.

Suddenly the light flipped on and Hazel looked up, seeing their First Sergeant making his way into the room, his wide, frantic eyes glancing around the entire hallway as people filed out from rooms that lead off from the main hallway.

" Hey, Lieb. He wants a noncom guarding each roadblock with at least two men watching every road out of town." Tab said, his voice firm, his body composed, as he moved out towards where more of the men were currently staying unaware of what was about to happy.

Hazel was angry, an angry she hadn't felt in a long time - but she hadn't fired a weapon at someone in a long time either.

The anger was similar in many ways.

Joe's hand gently placed on her shoulder was the only thing keeping her at some sort of calm. Hazel could see Catherine past the replacement's shoulder in front of her standing beside George, eyes narrowed, in a similar murder like way. No one messed with her NCOs, nor did they mess with her family, her boys.

" Bull, Malark, you each take a squad and one of these witnesses on a house-to-house search." Tab said as Hazel watched Catherine's eyes follow Tab's own.

" Can we shoot this bastard on sight?" Malarkey asked, a willing to fire that gun at this guy sounding off in his voice.

" Try and take him alive." Tab said as Catherine met his gaze.

" What's the word?" Catherine said as Tab came forward meeting her gaze.

" Speirs wants us looking for him, anywhere he can be in this goddamn town." Tab said and Catherine nodded firmly.

" Where's Grant now?" Bull asked as Hazel looked up towards him, with a fierce expression.

" They took him to a Kraut hospital to see if they could drum up any good doctors." Tab said as Bull came to look at him and Catherine appeared at his side again. 

" What direction was he last seen going in?" she asked Tab as suddenly Hazel appeared at her side.

" South, towards the southern part of the lake." Tab said and Hazel glanced at Catherine.

" I'm coming with you," Hazel said, her voice like ice - something that made Catherine even freeze in her tracks. Hazel's eyes were narrowed as she watched the expressions of Bull, Tab, George and Catherine watch her.

" Chuck's my friend, all your friend, and he's a part of this family too."

And with that Hazel turned, pulling her helmet from it's lone peg, and sprinting out the door.


	45. the smiles of stars

" I not only have the right to stand up for myself, but I have the responsibility. I can't ask somebody else to stand up for me if I won't stand up for myself. And once you stand up for yourself, you'd be surprised that people say 'Can I be of help?'"

\- Maya Angelou

✰✰✰

Lizzie watched Speirs knock on the fragile glass window of where the suspected German brain surgeon was. And Lizzie couldn't keep her narrowed eyes anywhere but from where the surgeon's eyes would soon be. She was revolted, taken in with utter disgust. She thought she'd be more upset, but now, she was purely angry for what had happened to Chuck, especially after the news of someone like Shifty or Janovec. Speirs went to knock again, but suddenly a soft luminous bulb came on in the other side and Speirs hand embarrassingly dropped.

The minute the curtain moved away, Speirs leaned against the window, banging the black pistol in his grasp against the window, his eyes like daggers at the brain surgeon on the other side. Lizzie's eyes narrowed, as she could feel blood continuing to seep through her fingers.

" Open up." Speirs said, as Lizzie heard the engine continue to rumble - she had never seen Speirs jump from the vehicle as fast as he had. The door slowly opened, and before the brain surgeon could open the door fully, Speirs was already in his face, weapon near the man's head.

" Come with me." Speirs said as Lizzie watched him.

" Why?" the brain surgeon asked. Lizzie's eyes narrowed and she swore she saw fire.

" Get in the jeep." Speirs said simply, giving a glance back to where Lizzie and Gene sat with Chuck's limp body. The brain surgeon stared at Speirs for a moment.

Contemplating in the darkness of the night.

There weren't stars out yet tonight.

The brain surgeon slowly pulled his coat from the peg and into his arms to pull it around himself.

" Where are we going?" he asked, as he pulled his coat around himself, Speirs slowly bringing the weapon up again, aimed at the surgeon.

" To the hospital. Get in." Speirs said shortly as Lizzie met the surgeon's eyes. The surgeon turned to look at Speirs and the weapon held up in front of his body.

" If you're going to shoot me, shoot me." the surgeon said, as the two took in an intense staring match between one another, " If you're not, put the gun away." Speirs gritted his teeth and pointed the pistol forward. 

" Get in the jeep now." Speirs said, as if it were an angry plea. Lizzie could see the pure pain across the entirety of Speirs' face. This was one of his men, one of his men in the company, now hurt, pain inflicted by another of the same side.

Speirs cared for his men and women more than anything.

This angered him.

The surgeon turned to Gene and Lizzie who both sat stone-cold faced in the back of the jeep.

" What happened to him?" the surgeon asked.

" He was shot in the head." Gene confirmed, holding up the plasma still firmly in his grasp, eyes narrowed in evident exhaustion and pain. The surgeon gently leaned forward and peaked under the bandage securely wrapped by Lizzie around his head.

" A half hour ago." Speirs confirmed. Lizzie watched the surgeon just before Speirs grew impatient and stepped forward.

" Come on," he urged, smacking the gun against the surgeon's arm. The surgeon whipped around to Speirs.

" If you want him to live, you'll help me, first by putting that away." the surgeon said and Lizzie met Gene's eyes, similar expressions across both of their faces, similar to one another. They turned and watched Speirs. Speirs grew evidently disgruntled and then quickly slid the weapon into its sheath. A wave of tension rolled from the CO instead. 

" Come on, let's go." Lizzie couldn't get over the pain and agitation in Speirs' voice. This was one of his men, Chuck was now the utmost important. The surgeon stopped him and Lizzie followed his hand with narrowed eyes.

" Let me drive. We'll get there faster." the surgeon said and Speirs watched him. Speirs didn't say a word as he eventually moved away, like a bullet around the truck to the other side.

No one messed with Speirs' men and women, his company.

Lizzie softly lent forward and brushed against Chuck's hair. Her emotions were conflicted. She was angry, angry that a man of the 101st Airborne would do this to another member. But she was also upset, this was Chuck, an NCO of Easy, her brother-in-arm.

Now he was shot.

The minute the surgeon took off forward through Austria, the group bumped along the road towards where ever the hospital would be.

When they had found the shooter, he was taking advantage of a woman - Catherine turned into a scolding hot flame of pure anger - Hazel was pretty sure she had been the first one to make him really bleed.

Now, Catherine was in there with them, and so was Joe, and just about every member of Easy who was pissed for what happened to Chuck.

Hazel hadn't gone in. After seeing what the man was doing to the woman, she couldn't bear to even lay eyes on him again. Hazel instead sat at the third chair at the ottoman where George and Tab currently sat, simply just playing cards. Hazel didn't participate, her heart torn with anger and her upset feelings.

Instead she stared as if she were in a frozen facade, watching them play, the cards slap against the desk, the smoke mingle between them, the light flicker on the wall like ghosts. Hazel barely blinked, eyes and body drooped and frozen. But she couldn't, she couldn't believe something like this had even happened in the first place. But she was too numb to cry, just like everyone else in this company.

They were all too numb - they all just wanted this to end.

Hazel's gaze was so worn out, so exhausted, so mentally destroyed with all of this. Things had seemed so good, so happy, so upbeat - this was like poison.

Tab's anger was radiating off him in waves, she could feel it through her ODs and George's control that he was maintaining was even higher. It's what held Tab down for the time being.

Hazel could hear each shot the guys and Catherine took at the shooter inside, and each one made her flinch enough for George and Tab to take glances towards Hazel.

But for Hazel, it sounded like when her dad had thrown glass some nights, yelling at her mom, screaming about the bills, plates shattering, vases fragile and in cracks across the ground, him storming out, leaving her tear streaked face mother cleaning it up and refusing to cry in front of the young Hazel.

Her heart was racing with each shot taken and she had to keep clenching and unclenching. She knew George was watching her too, just by the way his cigarette was hanging from his mouth.

" You okay, Tiny?" he asked.

_The nickname._

He was the person in the company to give her that.

Hazel slowly looked up to meet his eyes. The adrenaline that had run through her when word broke that the shooter was lose, had now all but disappeared - all she had were horrid flashbacks and emotions she thought she wouldn't have to deal with anymore.

" Yeah," she said her voice shaky, a smile that seemed to not even move her facial features, on her face. Tab watched her before glancing at George. He was angry, then glancing over his shoulder back into the room, his lip bitten back with worry, eyes narrowed. He shook his head. Hazel's leg was jiggling, up and down over and over. She couldn't grasp onto anything to calm her down - nothing.

_Hit._

_Hit._

_Hit._

Over and over, and the cries, the screams, it was too familiar. Hazel put her hands over her ears suddenly, leaned up against the table, her eyes squeezed shut.

 _Please stop!,_ she wanted to yell that, over and over, like she should've yelled at her father, watching him come down drunkly over her mother as Hazel sat in the other room, huddled at the door. Hazel hadn't said a word.

_Please just stop it!_

" Hazel, hey, hey, you okay?" George said watching as she shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut, scrunching up her face. 

" It's so loud." she whispered, her voice trembling, her eyes threatening to tear up, " The screaming, the hits, it's too loud." George met Tab's eyes again and Tab clenched his jaw.

Hazel screwed her eyes shut again - she just wished it would all stop. Hazel had to tell herself to stop panicking - it wasn't 13 years ago, it was today, she told herself she wouldn't let the past control her.

" Hazel, hey," George said, putting a hand on her arm," it's okay." Hazel nodded softly.

" Sorry," she whispered, " memories." George and Tab watched the innocent girl as she sighed softly to herself.

Her mind though was caught up in the game of a cat chasing its tail, going in circles, over and over again, not stopping, a constant ongoing cycle, until it spiraled out. She watched George and Tab continue to play, the cards moving in front of them, between one another, tension a thick soup. She could sense Tab's aggravation with the way he kept glancing over his shoulder to where the room was.

" Jesus," she heard George mutter and could barely glance at him, " again-what a hand." George slapped his cards to the table, as he lit up his cigarette on his lip. Tab's evident aggravation rolled off to Hazel herself and soon her own eyes were glancing towards the room, a riled up anxiety spitting into her system. When would it all just stop? 

" I wonder who's taking a bigger beating -- me or him." George said with a slight chuckle, trying to move some light-hearted humor into the situation. Hazel barely felt enough air leave her system for a laugh. Tab was glancing over his shoulder again before looking back at George.

" You want to play a different game?" Tab asked, his voice an overlap of annoyance and exhaustion - a want for it to just end. 

" No, the same game, just shuffle them up good, huh?" George said and Hazel could see the worry for Tab in George's own eyes, the want to just keep his friend grounded, away from the door, because he knew Tab was thinking of his duty as First Sergeant to protect the men and women - this bothered Tab.

With another blow echoing in the other room, Hazel flinched as Tab gritted his face and slammed the cards together as he shuffled them together. Hazel's eyes were on him almost immediately. George watched him.

" Are you all right?" George asked, an urgency in his voice. Tab looked like he was about to explode.

" Yeah, I'm all right." Tab said firmly, nodding, like he wasn't about to burst right into that room at any second. Tab started dealing as George didn't move one eye from him.

" You want to go in there and join in?" George asked him, dark brown eyes watching Tab. Tab shakily sighed, slowly rolling his head side to side. Hazel watched him with sad eyes.

" I should go in there and stop this." Tab said looking back over his shoulder towards the room. Tab then looked back at his cards, another sigh leaving his lips.

" Floyd, let's just play cards, all right?" George said gently. Tab nodded, forcing himself to stay in his chair and listen to George's very calming voice. Hazel could barely blink her eyes.

Then all the sudden, the door burst open and the trio looked up to see it was Speirs, wide eyed, murderous gazes streaming from them, with Lizzie right behind him, eyes narrowed, gaze zeroed in on the door already. The trio moved to their feet and Hazel watched Lizzie stand at the door, seething.

" Where is he?" Speirs said gaze on Tab.

" How's Grant?" Tab asked and Hazel's eyes briefly traveled to Speirs' hand. A black, sleak pistol was held tightly in his grasp.

" Where is he?" Speirs asked again.

" Is he okay?" Tab proceeded shakily.

" Where is he?" Speirs yelled, snapping Hazel's eyes right to him. Speirs met Tab's eyes again as Tab looked towards the door where the voices, the beating, the yelling all bubbled from. Hazel watched Speirs move towards the door with about 4 quick authoritative steps and shove it open in a matter of seconds, to the boys parting as if it were the Dead Sea. 

" Oh, I'll show him-" Lizzie grunted moving forward but Tab jumped in front of her, stopping her in her tracks as she seethed, eyes narrowed, ready to pounce as Tab froze her with one look. She wasn't about to follow Speirs in there.

As Hazel slowly approached the doorway, she could see the man on the inside, blood pouring from multiple spots on his head, as he seemed to choke in it. She met Catherine's eyes, which were filled with a flame that didn't want to be touched. She met Joe's, his exhausted, yet rage filled ones. Her heart froze for a moment.

" Is this him?" Speirs said, standing in the door, all gazes speared towards the Lieutenant. The man in the chair struggled to breath, to take in oxygen, to stay awake. 

" That's him," Bull said firmly, " Replacement I Company."

Hazel felt sick to her stomach, as she leaned briefly against the doorway and tried not to let the sourness in her stomach grow. Hazel's gaze was on Speirs, taking slow, predator like steps towards the man, never once changing his gaze from the one on the replacement. Hazel could see Babe in there, standing beside Joe. Babe's gaze was hardened on Speirs, just like many of the others. Everyone was watching, everyone in the room, outside of the room, everyone was watching the CO stare down at the man who had shot a member of Easy, waiting for what the CO would decide to do.

" Where's the weapon?" Speirs asked quickly, his voice dangerously calm for a split second. The replacement merely stared up at him, his whole body shaking.

" What weapon?" the replacement sputtered out, his lazy gaze on the CO, without any care in the world.

Within a second, Speirs lifted his hand up, bringing the butt of the pistol right across the replacements face. Hazel flinched a bit at the sound, as blood spewed from the man's mouth, his head flopping to the side. Hazel scrunched her face up a bit.

" When you talk to an officer, you say 'sir'." Speirs said his tone demanding at that - it was scary.

The tension rolling from the CO was in waves, over every member, they could all feel the anger the CO withheld in him, for what had happened to one of his men, on of the members from his company. The man coughed, choked, gasping for again on his few breaths he could hold. The faces of the men pained Hazel herself.

With each gasping choke, they flinched, evident pain, or disgust or extreme exhaustion on all of their own. This was the tipping point for them.

Hazel turned her gaze back on the man who choked, over and over again. Then she heard a weapon cock and her gaze was on the only person she knew had a weapon. Speirs. In a second, the weapon was up and aimed right at the face of the replacement and almost automatically people stepped back, moving away from the CO and the replacement, gun pointed right between the eyes.

And with each gasping breath the replacement continued to take, the more and more tension continued to seep further into the room.

Hazel's heart was pounding, her palms were sweaty and it seemed everyone was holding their breath, waiting with baiting breath for what the CO might do, for what action he might decidedly take. The butt of the weapon was shaking, Speirs' hand was shaking, and from his rigid posture, she knew he didn't want to take his life, he didn't want to have to take the life of another man.

But the man had shot an Easy Company man, a Toccoa man, one of Speirs' own men. He'd be willing. But then, the pistol turned to the side, as Speirs glanced at his wrist, and Hazel let out a tiny breath. Speirs leaned forward and wiped the blood on his wrist, onto the replacements shoulder.

And the replacement had the nerve to let out a laugh, breathy laughs.

Hazel's eyes narrowed.

Not in Easy Company.

You didn't do that in Easy, proceeding to laugh once you harmed on of their own.

Hazel slowly unsheathed the knife from D-Day and burst forward, brushing past everyone, pushing even Speirs to the side, pulling up the replacements hair and holding a knife to his throat.

The knife that had killed the German on D-Day, the German with the green eyes.

A collective intake of breath entered the room, as the normally quiet woman, held a very sharp knife up against the throat of the man.

Hazel's eyes were narrowed, as if she were that predator stalking her prey in the night, watching his every move, watching the steps he took and easily predicting the ones he'd make.

The man had green eyes - _just like the German's._

The replacement laughed.

" I wouldn't be laughing if I knew my first kill in this war, was by slicing a man's very own throat, watching the life fade from his eyes, as his soul seeped into the soil of the Earth, I would not be laughing." she whispered, her voice a steady stream of adrenaline, pulsing throughout her entire being. She was done with letting her fears sit in her like a boiling pot, stirring and stirring - having the mental image of this German with the green eyes follow her throughout this entire war when he was dead for almost over a year now. She was sick and tired of it all - the dreams, the nightmares, the terrors, all of it. She was sick and tried of it all. 

" You're just a girl," the replacement spat, blood from his lips, speckling her facial features. She didn't flinch.

" I may just be," Hazel whispered," but I was a girl. I'm a woman - a strong one. A woman looking you in the eye right now as if it were my own prey. The death I've seen, at my own hands, watching blood like yours fall over my finger tips, I've seen it all. With my own two eyes. I am no girl. The war has changed that, just like it changed everyones' lives, something hard to accept. But I am also a Virago, a woman who holds herself at the highest standards of exemplary and heroic motives. Since Day 1, I've held myself to those morals for simple human decency. What have you held yourself to?" It was so quiet.

" A swine." she whispered maliciously, staring right into his cowering green eyes with her darkening blue ones. The group watched Hazel and no one was stopping her, not Catherine, not Joe, not even Speirs. They all watched her, hitting that boiling point, where she had been so frustrated with war, so ungodly angry at war, that this was what set her off.

" Aren't you tired of it?" snapped Hazel in his face," Aren't you tired of war? Tired of fighting day in and day out? Tired of knowing you have to still go fight a battle in the Pacific when you've just fought the war of Europe? Aren't you tired of it all? Don't you just want it to stop?" Each question was left with the replacement, cowering down in fear, his eyes wide, frantic, a silent plea for an ounce of help.

" They won't help you," Hazel whispered softly," you don't just go around swinging that weapon, taking aim at a man from Easy, thinking you can get away with it. You don't go around taking advantage of a woman, dehumanizing her and ripping from her everything that makes her a woman. That's not how life works, Private. And life, even if that is in it, should never have to work like that, a cruel distasteful manner of the horrid world we live in."

" Stop adding your cruelness to the world, stop adding hate, and anger and disgust. Start adding your own light, your own path, your own joy and happiness. Stop taking it out on others. We're all sick of war. We're all tired of it! But you know what, we're all still here, training, ready to jump into Japan to continue to fight. Because we're paratroopers, Private, you understand? It's a occupational hazard. We will fight until we drop dead, but if we fall we do not take it out on another, getting drunk, losing our minds, we're family, Private. This is my family. And if you hurt my family, then I will have no fear in threatening you." Hazel whispered coldly. Her gaze was answered with the one of a coward, a man who would not face his actions and the result of them. 

" Is that understood?" Hazel whispered, her voice like ice, her eyes the fire and the flame.

" Yes, ma'am." the replacement managed out. Hazel stared at him for a moment, before leaning back. Her gaze didn't move from him as she then finally threw that knife to the floor, throwing it hard, down onto the ground as it stuck straight into the wood.

That part of her life was over, the part that had controlled her for the past year, with all the pairs of watching eyes, from the German, to the innocent boy, the German through the scope, the men in the camps, her father, that was behind her.

That knife represented that.

Hazel wouldn't touch that knife again.

And with that, Hazel turned and hurriedly left the room, a fury in each and every step she took leaving that room, then the building.

Hazel refused to let her past define her.

Chuck would be okay, after Hazel had left, Speirs told the group that he would be. But Hazel had darted out quicker than lightning, anger in her each and every step.

Hazel sat outside the building, eyes narrowed, as the soft Austrian breeze blew down onto her from the Alps, her knees brought up into her chest. The darkness of night that had fallen over her encased her entire being, as the stars suddenly began to show again for the first time that night.

Speirs slowly made his way out of the building, noticing the woman sitting on the step, back filled with tension and rigid. Speirs softly sighed to himself before walking forward, taking it down a few steps to slowly lower himself beside her. Hazel didn't even register him beside her.

" I heard you liked the stars, kid." Speirs said and Hazel's eyes softened from their narrowed gaze. 

" Yes," she answered. Speirs glanced over at her.

" They always are watching, sir, and I can tell them anything, too. Anything. They always listen and watch." she said. She slowly turned and met his eyes.

" The German I killed on D-Day - the stars watched me do that too." she whispered," But they still show themselves each night."

" I think it's because the stars don't care what's thought of them, ya know, like someone I know." Speirs said, turning to smile over at Hazel. Hazel smiled a bit. 

" They're just, you know, there every night, whether there's a storm, clouds, any of it, they still shine." Speirs said with a nod, " They don't care that there's this massive, scary, dark looking thing covering them. They still shine." Hazel smiled softly looking at her hands, where a few bits of blood were. Chances were there was still some blood on her face. She slowly reached up to wipe at her face.

" Here, " Speirs said, handing her the hanker chef he always had. Hazel met his gaze and he nodded. Softly taking it, she brushed it across her face, the blood gently coming from her features. 

" I don't regret what I did back there, sir. A year ago I would've, but now I don't. At all." she said. And she meant it. She had seen what the war could do to people and what war was capable of making humans do to one another. She didn't regret that threat to a man who hurt these men, these men who were like her family. She would never.

" I don't regret it either." Speirs said and Hazel turned to smile at him. The stars smiled that night.


	46. a flower's beauty

" Flowers...are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty out values all the utilities of the world."

_\- Ralph Waldo Emerson_

✰✰✰

After the events of Chuck's wound, things seemed to settle down again, as talks of the Pacific finally swirled around, overlying the wounds Easy Company had substantially taken.

Catherine, though, took trips with Tab up to visit Chuck in their off time - he was one of the first NCOs she had met, and a close friend, one of her NCOs.

Other days the company trained relentlessly for the Pacific, exhausted in the end by it all. It was truly exhausting all of it, but the thing that made it more exhausting was the fact they were all still waiting to see if what Hazel had written into the New York Times would make it to the paper. Each newspaper that came, the group huddled in a circle to score the paper for it. It still hadn't showed. But they would wait until it did.

In August most of the men and the women had been moved out to tents in the large valley underneath the mountains, the glorious Alps that surrounded them with the light blue sky and the soft breeze.

But it also meant even more decisions were being made on who was staying and who was leaving - the war in the Pacific was dwindling, further and further away from a large conflict - the US had dropped two atom bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki on August 6th - now they were just anticipating the surrender of the Japanese.

But it meant Ronald Speirs was staying in the Army despite it all.

But Hazel was happy for him, for the man, the leader, the brother who had supported her ever since her return, since he had become their faithful CO.

She'd always adore Ronald Speirs.

" Jesus Christ Tab, he's not going to overreact, you're the one overreacting." Lizzie said, adjusting the collar of her uniform. 

" Oh really? Says the one fussing over her collar." Tab said and Lizzie jabbed at his shoulder.

" Asshole," she muttered, " it's hot and it's itchy, I'm going to be fussing over my collar." Tab chuckled as they approached the building of offices for the officers. Lizzie and Tab arched their necks up towards it before glancing at each other.

" Good luck with this," Lizzie said," hopefully he'll be understand enough."

" If he's anything like Hazel, I have a feeling he will be." Tab said and Lizzie smirked.

" I'll be out here," she said with a little wave as Tab stepped inside, leaning up against the outside doorway, her eyes watching the Austrian streets bustle with life.

Last night, she had told Tab about her hyperactivity disorder - she had willed herself to. Because he had seen her have that mental breakdown where she just felt she couldn't comprehend it all, she couldn't cope, she couldn't gather herself together, and Tab had seen it happen in front of him. And she had told him everything as they sat side by side at the docks. And Tab had listened to every word she had said.

Sure, Tab and her had fought tooth and nail over quite possibly the _DUMBEST_ thing, but they got along most of the time, and they could make each other laugh and they just got each other. And the thing she really hadn't expected was for Tab to look at her and tell her that there was nothing wrong with her and that they simply were all just human. She had thought about it all night afterwards.

Lizzie looked up watching Alton More smoothly appear out of the offices with a smirk upon his face.

" What are you smirking about?" she asked him and Alton grinned.

" I might've just escaped death itself." he said and Lizzie quirked up a grin.

" Please tell me that by death you mean Ronald Speirs." she said and Alton laughed.

" I might just have Hitler's own photo albums back in barracks, and just lied to Speirs about it." Alton said and Lizzie snorted.

" I always knew you were one to get away with stuff," she said, remembering the motorcycle joyride with him and Don.

" Hey, what do you say that tonight, you, me and Don head out for a ride for old times' sake." he said. Lizzie felt her heart break a bit.

Don had been informed a few nights back that he was being sent to Paris, to escape the oncoming war, to hopefully get out of the nightmare this war had warped them in. And she was happy for him, everyone was, especially after all the pain and grief he had to go through. But she would miss, just like everyone else would.

An original Toccoa man, leaving behind the company who was his family.

" I'd love to, really, for old times' sake." she said looking up at him. Her eyes welled with tears. Everyone was leaving, being split apart and the war only brought that. It hurt to really, truly think about. 

" Hey, it'll be okay," Alton said bringing her into a much needed hug," we'll turn up the radio on it, get Don singing, it'll be fun." Lizzie laughed, giving him a tight squeeze.

" Smokey would've been happy to see that," she said as she pulled back and Alton laughed. 

" Yeah yeah, he would've wouldn't he?" he said and Lizzie nodded.

" Right after mess, there's a stock pile of 'em right near the barns, we'll take it and run." Alton said and Lizzie grinned.

" Sounds like a deal," she said as the two shook hands with one another and Alton grinned, before giving the official Lizzie Elliot - Fake Salute which had spread throughout the company and turning, heading off down the street. Glancing over she watched Tab appear from the door.

" How'd it go?" she asked, turning to him.

" I'm back to Staff-Sergeant," he said with a nod, looking out towards the sunshine ridden roads, " I think it's better for me anyway. Speirs didn't have an issue either." Lizzie smiled softly.

" I didn't think he would," she said as the two began walking," like Hazel, she only wants what's best for human kind, I feel Speirs is like that with this company, his men and women, the exact same." Tab glanced at her and nodded.

" I agree," he said. Tab smiled at her and she grinned.

That day, Hazel hadn't expected to see Winter, Lip and Nixon driving up right in front of her, both their eyes set on her own.

" Hi, sirs." she said as she approached them. The trio smiled, almost as if they were in sink.

" There's something we'd like you to come with us and see." Winters said. Hazel smiled, adjusting her cover before accepting Lip's hand as she climbed up into the back of the jeep. They were driving towards the field where all the captured Germans were, and as they approached she could see the mass of men that were there.

Pulling in under the bright shining sun, its afternoon haze dawning on the men, Hazel watched as Lip jumped out and to the ground. Then she noticed Joe, slowly approaching and saluting Lip with a nod. Hazel grinned as she met his joyful eyes. They were shining.

Hazel's eyes then focused on the German officer approaching Lip and their quiet conversation with one another. Hazel scooted up to the edge of the vehicle behind Winters as if she were a small child, her eyes glowing wide with a soft brightness, a soft glee.

A happiness, seeing a war so horrid as this one slowly coming to an end.

The German approached and clicked his heels together before nodding to Winters. Winters arm redirected the General to Lieutenant Lipton. Hazel smiled softly.

" With your permission, I would like to address my men briefly." the German said with a slight smile upon his face.

" That would be fine, General." Lip said in his soft spoken voice. The German then nodded to Lip before turning and nodding to Winters and Nixon.

Then he noticed the woman right behind him and gave her a soft nod as well.

She nodded back.

Just as the General turned away, Hazel's eyes caught upon something she felt she hadn't seen in a long time.

It was Captain Sobel, walking right past them, and ignoring the trio in the truck. The man he was talking to saluted Winters. Sobel did not and Hazel narrowed her eyes. As Winters saluted the man back, Hazel couldn't help but notice how Winters eyes stayed on Captain Sobel, just as Nixon and her own did. Sobel had the nerve to look away.

" Captain Sobel." Winters said his voice firm as Hazel watched him, with a proud smile.

" Major Winters." Sobel said with a slight nod.

" Captain Sobel," Winters said firmly again. Nixon and Hazel watched as the Captain stopped in his tracks.

" We salute the rank, not the man." Winters said watching Sobel with authoritative eyes, soft and gentle eyes that held power.

Sobel, in the soft silence, gently turned to Winters, the Major who had seen Easy through high and low, and saluted him, watching eyes the entire time.

Winters immediately saluted, bringing up his hand, without even blinking to watch Sobel and salute him back. Sobel then dropped the salute and left with frozen features.

Hazel couldn't help but smirk at the look Joe gave him as he left, the smirk crawling across his own face as he glanced back at Winters. Hazel watched Joe's eyes as he slowly stepped towards the jeep as the German General started speaking, his voice prideful, calming to his men, full of almost a warmth, a love and a passion.

As Joe slowly placed his weapon down, Hazel leaned up against the edge of the jeep from the back, a soft grin on her face as she met Joe's eyes with a warm look, an emotional one at that, as if she couldn't really believe she was here, sitting with the sun on her face, near the end of this horrid war, the love of her life right beside her, his aura soft and more gentle and calming than anything.

" Liebgott?" Winters said as Hazel nestled in between Winters and Joe with a soft grin. Joe leaned up next to Hazel looking towards Hazel and Winters who watched him. 

" Men, it's been a long war, it's been a tough war." Joe said and Hazel immediately felt that swell of tears overwhelm her entire system. Softly biting back her lip, she forced a tiny smile on her face. The German spoke again, his voice....proud....powerful for this men.

To see their leader, even in surrender, standing with pride in the end of defeat.

" You've fought bravely, proudly for your country." Joe said and Hazel looked down with a tear filled smile as she sniffled a bit, wiping at the corner of her eye. 

" You are a special group." Joe said, and Hazel softly put a trembling hand to her mouth, all she could think of was Easy. Her boys. The men she had fought this war with, they were her special group. All these regiments were special groups.

" You've found in one another a bond..." Joe said softly," ...that exists only in combat, among brothers...who've shared foxholes..." Hazel listened to the German General's voice turn emotional and sentimental, which made her heart ache.

" Held each other in dire moments...who've seen death and suffered together." Joe said gently. Hazel softly looked at her hands and softly clenched them together, forcing herself to look up towards the General that spoke with so much pride.

" I am proud to have served with each and every one of you." And Hazel could hear the smile on Joe's lips and with tear filled eyes she looked up at Joe, lips quivering out a smile as she watched him.

So much love, adoration, admiration, and passion.

Her heart felt so at peace.

Hazel watched then as the German General, stood with a soft, proud face watching the men he had served with. A tiny smile on his face, a prideful one, as he was still filled with the passion, with the drive, with the motivation, even in defeat.

" You deserve long and happy lives in peace." Joe said and Hazel nearly about let the waterfall boil over but she held herself. Hazel slowly leaned forward and placed a hand on Joe's shoulder and he softly glanced towards her, practically glowing with a real smile on his face.

One of the realest she'd ever seen.

A proud, prideful smile.

They were all thinking of Easy, all of them.

Winters, Nixon, Speirs who had made a show, Joe, Hazel. Each of them, man, woman, Major, Captain, CO, Sergeant, Private. They all felt it, each and every one of them.

This war, it had changed all of them, but standing here right now simply as humans, connected by bonds that were indescribable was probably what made war all worth it, the fear, the grief, the tears, the pain and suffering of others lost, the will to risk your own life for the man or woman next to you. It made it worth it.

Despite the death, the wounds, the injury, the constant mental battle of life or death, the ones who had sacrificed themselves for Easy were the true heroes, the ones who had despite it all, loved this company fearlessly and died in combat for them. The ones who were hit and live despite it all, would want the members who were still here, still fighting to be happy, to feel a happiness that hadn't been felt in a while. Each member would want that of Easy and of the Virago women - of Easy Company.

When Hazel and Joe walked back together, they passed by Lizzie, Alton and Don going out on their final drive together around Zell Am See, smiles and cheers from the vehicle. Joe softly looked towards Hazel in the golden light.

" You okay?" he asked her. The airfield had gotten Hazel more emotional than she thought it would, after all this war, all this fighting, and end what was made her finally break down to the bare bones of her very being. An end.

Never in her life had she experienced something truly end and for good. It was always something ongoing, continuing. But this was an end, an end to it all. Hazel nodded, managing to keep the waterfall at bay with a proud smile upon her lips. 

Gently taking Joe's hand in her own, they continued walking forward.

" You know that feeling? When you finally for proud for the actions you've taken through something? Actions a year ago you would've regretted?" Hazel whispered as his thumb softly brushed against her warm skin. 

" I finally felt proud of what I did to survive in this war," she whispered with a nod," like what I did was worth it - all of it. Like it finally wasn't a mistake that I did what I did, just hearing that General speak those words." Joe looked down at her, as their feet gently padded along the ground, the soft surface of the cobblestone beneath their feet, clicking lightly with each tap, as they padded forward, the golden hues of the sun encasing them whole, in a soft and welcoming embrace.

Lizzie, Alton and Don had driven throughout the town of Zell Am See before stopping on a ridge that looked out towards the lake, as the darkening night clouds above moved towards the slowly setting sun, a soft breeze ruffling the hair on their heads, where they finally felt a sense of relief, a warmth....hope.

Lizzie softly looked over towards Don and Alton, tender smiles on both their faces - they didn't even have to talk with one another to feel bonded.

Just watching the sun set on an old chapter, to rise to a newer one tomorrow was the only comfort they all needed.

For a moment, Lizzie wished it could stay like this forever, the sunset bathing her in light and comfort, where she wasn't listening to the sounds of war, the cries of the wounded, or the screams of death. Where she wasn't worrying about life back home or life here, where there seemed there was no existence of time in this little world, where it simply felt like time had frozen and it was just Lizzie, Don, Alton and the softly setting sun in front of them.

Lizzie though felt her emotions so much more than she ever had before. She finally felt like there was hope, like there was an end in sight for all the horror they had faced, where there was maybe even a chance that this war would end with no one else in Easy Company destroyed by the horrid conflicts war had intermingled inside it's deadly thwarts of terror. Where maybe light had finally decided to peak through, shining light over darkness, letting it be known that even in darkness there was a soft and gentle light waiting to emerge.

Maybe these cracks inside Lizzie were what she needed to allow the light inside her glow even stronger than before. It's maybe why a person needed cracks in them, a little broken, a little disheartened. It's maybe why everyone always had darkness before the light.

And why darkness was so important for the light to then shine.

For the stars to shine.

For the moon to shine.

Maybe the darkness of war, was the happiness Lizzie needed in this moment to truly feel like what she had done and experienced was what finally allowed light into her broken pieces. And those broken pieces would soon mend, she had to believe they would.

The following morning, Donald Malarkey was to be leaving Easy Company - a company who had brought upon the most joy and grief he would ever get in his entire life. And now he was leaving, for good. A company who loved him for who he was, a company who didn't try to change him for who he was, a company that loved him for him.

As Hazel stood there hugging him with tears streaming down her face, all she could remember were the words of the German General and Joe's translation - they were truly a special group, connected by these bonds, these memories, the moments where all they had were one another and no one else to comfort in the night.

Hazel felt her throat swell as she tried to hold in the cry that waned to shake her entire body as Don and her stood in the hug for a while, just holding one another. When Hazel finally pulled back, she was the one to wipe away Don's tears that streaked down his face, she was the one to tell him softly as she gripped his hands that they'd see each other soon, real soon, after this war, this nightmare - all of it.

Catherine and Don's hug was just as tear filled, but Lizzie and Don's was the most emotional of all as the two held onto one another for dear life and that's when Hazel heard the sob that escaped Don's mouth into Lizzie's shoulder, gripping onto her.

The grief in his cry hurt more than anything, the grief, the pain, the relief, all of it, it all hurt so much to even listen to. But they held one another steady in the emotional waterfall, gripping onto each other tightly, yearning for the comfort who understood you, who could hold you and just be there for you.

When Don had hopped up into the jeep for Paris, Hazel could barely wave as she bit back her trembling lip, hot tears trailing down her cheeks, watching the red tuff of hair upon his head slowly crawl further and further away from the sight in front of them.

Hazel needed time alone that afternoon after Don's departure. Hiking in the mountains in search of a tiny white flower that had followed her throughout the war was what she was in search of. Climbing up through the hillside, her feet crunching softly against the ground, sweating the tiniest bit as the higher peaks above her adorned bright, white, coated snow, the radiant sky above them, a welcome change, a brightness of the day. Hazel smiled softly.

Hazel continued trailing forward, her eyes peeled as her search for the tiny white flower only grew. Each tiny speck she kneeled beside to hold between her fingers and watch with an innocent eye, before softly placing it down in the dirt again, saying a quiet sorry for picking it from the ground, a quick, short death that she would never wish on an innocent flower. Hazel walked down the dirt path, open fields on either side of her, the welcoming breeze enough to calm her senses as she looked around at the grassy atmosphere of the land. The warmth that was in her heart was incomparable to anything she felt before.

The Edelweiss flower had been the thing since Day One of jumping into this war that had never failed to follow her relentlessly whenever she would see the green eyes of the German soldier. He had an Edelweiss adorning his collar, a older one.

But now as Hazel slowly crouched beside the tiny Edelweiss flower, she softly plucked it from the steam with a sad look before gently standing and holding out the tiny flower in front of her. The soldier with the green eyes had hiked the Alps for a very flower like the one in her grasp - he had gotten it, and almost a year later, Hazel had one of her very own right in her tiny palm. Her eyes curiously watched the tiny flower, as it lie in the palm of her hand, unchanged by war.

The flower had always grown this way through war, no matter what hit it, touched it or who picked it. It continued to grow the same for everyone. And it never failed to be the strong-willed flower it had always been. It never stopped growing, being the epitome of the beauty of something so innocent in a world full of hate, growing for no one but itself.

Hazel softly shut her eyes and moved her head to the sky, as the warm breeze continued to was over her. Letting out a sigh only to take another deep breath in, filling her lungs with fresh mountain air calmed her nerves, settling them down for the time being, finally where she felt a relief unlike any other.

A freeing from her worries and fears and sorrows with that tiny flower that had started this entire war for her.

Now, she stood with it in her grasp, with an entirely different meaning. There was beauty in the devastation of what a war provided. This flower just like so many others was living proof of that.

And for a moment it was Hazel and the tiny flower in her grasp, with a bird fluttering above - maybe the stars would not be her only comfort.


	47. love, hazel parker

" Have you ever met a person who at first glance you're not attracted to but then you talk and with every word, every smile, every laugh, they become more beautiful until you can't believe there was a moment you didn't think they were."

_\- Atticus_

✰✰✰

" Alright Tab, when we get back to barracks you'll have to fork it over," Babe said smugly as the group, whether treading in the lake water, or sitting on the edges of the dock, stayed in a tiny circle, the warm, sweet breeze brushing their skin. 

" I only owe you $20 Babe, and you owe me $40 so I don't know where that cockiness is coming from," Tab argued back as the group let out a ring of chuckles. Catherine took a glance past George's shoulder who was next to her and nearly threw up.

Joe and Hazel - they were coming, right down the path, his arm securely wrapped over hers, as she laughed at something he said. Catherine couldn't imagine if they suddenly heard them - oh lord.

" Guys, hey, hey, guys, they're coming." Catherine whispered. But before it could touch George's ears, he was already running down to the dock and pulling Hazel and Joe, who looked wholeheartedly confused, into his arms. 

" And you're really going to start a family with him?" Johnny said with a smirk and Catherine let out a laugh shaking her head. She was. No one at the edge of the dock could hear the immediate conversation between Hazel, Joe and George, but by the smug look on George's face, and the reddening cheeks of both Joe and Hazel, it was evident that 2 of George's most favorite words at the moment, bet and the fact he had won, were definitely in the air.

The group watched George proudly walk down the dock, swinging his arms at his sides, as he took in the fresh mountain air as if he were some sort of Greek God as Hazel, blushing like a tomato and Joe, looking quite the same but quite possibly actually pissed right behind them.

" I told you all that I KNEW this was coming," George said.

" Yeah it's because you knew about it the longest asshole," Joe said as he approached and George chuckled. Eyes widened around the entire group.

" So this wasn't just a few month thing?" Babe asked with wide eyes, suddenly going back and recounting his money.

" No, it wasn't-" George said but Joe slapped a hand over George's mouth.

" You bet on us?" Joe asked, with a raised brow. George nodded from behind his hand.

" A whole wad of cas-" Lizzie was next to slam a hand over Tab's mouth with a forced smile upon her features.

" You can kindly shut your mouth," she said and Tab narrowed his eyes as Bull chuckled from beside him in the water. 

" And you-" Tab said removing her hand," can kindly remove your hand, Elizabeth."

" And you-"

" ALRIGHT YOU TWO!" Catherine snapped at them.

" Don't even fucking tell me this was what I walked into a few months back." Joe said and Hazel's yes widened.

" You weren't planning for my birthday," Hazel said with wide eyes," you were betting on Joe and I!" Joe turned to look at her.

" You walked in on that too?" he asked her and Hazel raised a brow.

" You did too?' she asked with a small smile. And Joe smirked with a nod.

" Oh Christ, 5 seconds into witnessing this lovey dovey crap and I might hurl." Frank said and Hazel giggled.

" Just wait until you have a wife, Frank, won't be saying that much longer." George said and Frank flipped him off.

" Screw you alright," Frank said as George chuckled. 

" How high did the bet even go?" Hazel asked, still slightly in shock of the entire thing.

" $150." 

" $150?!" Hazel said with wide eyes.

" One hundred fucking fifty dollars?" Joe said, " I mean I'm great, but I feel what I offer is priceless." Hazel giggled and basically everyone could see the little inside jokes filled with love between the two. 

" Sure, Joe," she said to him and Lizzie felt her heart melt a bit.

" You know it, Parker." Joe said and Hazel blushed further.

" Jesus Christ, can you two stop being so adorable, i can't take it, save it for the wedding please." Catherine said and both blushed even further.

" And Joseph Liebgott blushing, quite the first." Johnny commented and Joe set his eyes on Johnny.

" I'm not blushing." Joe defended himself as Hazel giggled beside him.

" Yes you are," Hazel said and Joe grumbled to himself, before meeting Hazel's eyes and almost automatically lighting up and softening as well. 

" Alright, I'm putting down $200 on the first kid," Babe said, " who's in?"

" I call $250, if they name it Joe Jr," Johnny said with a smug smirk. 

" I'll raise you 3, with a tip," Bull conjured.

" Alright slow down, I was about to do that," Tab said holding up his hand, the Jump Wings chain on his wrist sliding down.

" Move a little faster, Tab you would've had your chance." Skinny grumbled, " Seriously am I the only competent one here?"

" Nah, we have a badass Lieutenant right here," George said pointing to Catherine as Catherine smirked.

" Brownie points Mr. Luz," Catherine said as George snickered.

" I thought I was the badass Lieutenant," a voice suddenly said and nearly every member of the company froze, stiff backed. As everyone slowly turned to look over their shoulders, eyes widened, yelps left others mouth, and struggles to get out of the water quicker than the other erupted.

It was Buck Compton. 

A smile on his cheery face, a grin the size of California on his features. Catherine had to be the first to reach him with George just behind her.

It was Buck.

Buck Compton.

Lieutenant Buck Compton.

And soon there were other Easy members, piling in for hugs just behind them one after the other and soon enough, it was like one big, slightly crowded group hug with Buck on the dock.

" Y'all are so comfy, damn." Tab suddenly said and the group broke out into chuckles, slowly backing away from Buck who stood, almost as if he looked like an angel.

" What the fuck you doing back here?" George asked.

" Well, for one I had to make sure someone," Buck said looking at George who chuckled, wrapping an arm over Catherine's shoulder," was being kept in line, but it seems Lieutenant McCown has handled that perfectly." And this time it was Catherine's turn to blush, but she furiously tried her best to keep it down the best she could, as she stared at hm with a playful smirk.

" How'd you even know?" she said as George chuckled.

" Your boyfriend wrote me quite a few letters a month or so back." Buck said and Catherine straight up shoved George's arm. 

" And to think I've tried keeping you in line," Catherine said as George chuckled rubbing his arm, the group chuckling in response.

" I'm a keeper what can I say," George said, " I think she'll keep me around." 

" Oh you're real smooth buddy," Catherine said as Buck laughed, his bright blue eyes glowing under the sunshine.

" Hey, you hear about this though," Tab said stepping forward, " we finally got these two together." Buck glanced at the rather quiet Hazel and the so ungodly quiet Joe Liebgott who stood blushing side by side. 

" No shit really, where's my money?" Buck said.

" Hold the fuck up I thought you said this bet was recent?" Joe said stepping forward.

" Recent, Joe as in, September 1944," Tab said sassily, " I got the money back in barracks, boy will the Major be happy to see you."

" Are we going to ignore the fact that the betting has been going on for almost a year and I missed out on a majority of it!" Babe called out as Johnny gave him a smack on the shoulder.

" Keep word, Babe, you were a replacement then," Johnny said and Babe groaned as Bull chuckled beside Frank.

" You three are a load," Babe muttered. Buck smiled then.

" It's nice to see you all though, the company, the friendship, I....I missed that, not like I missed war, but I missed the feeling of friendship, a brotherhood, a sisterhood in war, all of it." Buck said and the group smiled softly.

" I think we missed you more, Buck," George said gently patting his shoulder. Buck smiled, meeting each and every set of eyes.

" Yeah I think I missed you all the most." he said and the group smiled. Buck was back. And almost immediately what he wanted was to play baseball.

And a baseball game was what it would be.

Hazel softly peered into the tent, her eyes traveling to Joe near his cot, pulling on his OD top. Hazel softly looked at her hands before stepping forward, a bunch of the guys running towards the field outside, calling and yelling like children.

" Hey," Hazel said as Joe was pulling on his dog tags, running a hand through his hair.

" Hey, cutie," he said, softly pressing a kiss to her lips and she smiled softly into it as Joe gently pulled back, " what's up?"

" You ready for baseball?" she asked him.

" Oh hell yeah, I've waited a whole war for this," he said and Hazel smiled. Joe's eyes found the paper in her hand.

" What's that?" he asked nodding to her hand. 

" Oh!" Hazel said, pulling the letter up into her hands and staring at it," It's, um, it's for you."

" For me?" he said and she nodded.

" From me." she said, softly gazing at the letter, " To you." She softly let Joe take the letter and then smiled up at him.

Joe softly glanced up at her before looking down at her handwriting. His name, written in her slightly messy little droopy handwriting scrawled across the page.

_So Hazel._

Joe went to open it but her hands stopped him and he met her eyes with a raised brow.

" What?" he asked. She smiled.

" Read it after I leave, okay?" she whispered softly, her warm hands encasing his with the letter just underneath.

" Why?" Joe asked. Hazel softly smiled and then softly looked up towards him.

" Just...." she whispered, her fingers tapping against his hand, the top of it," you'll know why." Joe watched her, as she softly pressed a kiss to his lips, his eyelids gently fluttering closed in a gentle manner at her touch. When she pulled back she smiled at him, before meeting his eyes.

" I'll see you out there," Hazel said and then shyly put her hands behind her back and turned skipping out. Joe watched her disappear around the corner and then looked at the letter in his hand.

Joe glanced around the empty tent, hearing laughter and light outside before settling himself down on her cot, where the warm vanilla scent slowly stemmed from. Joe softly turned the letter in the envelope over in his fingers and softly pulled open the flap. His fingers gently found the letter and he slowly eased it out of the encasing. Joe softly placed the envelope beside him and then opened the letter up, a gentle rustle of paper on paper inciting from it.

Joe's eyes softly laid across the first few sentences on the page and almost instantly tears welled his eyes.

_Joe,_

_If you're reading this, then maybe I wasn't as scared as I thought I'd be to tell you I loved you :)_

Joe could hear the little laugh in her voice as she wrote the line, as if she were right beside him.

_Scared as in, scared to share my heart with another, a heart which had been scarred too many times to even believe that loving another was a possibility. That it was capable of a love like what we have. My head and my heart told me that it were impossible, to feel what love was again - I had been so emotionally ripped from what a good, loving relationship was, that the thought of thinking about 'what if I loved so much, but they still left in the end', and all the possibilities, that I'd just make the same mistake, over and over, until there were no mistakes left to make._

_It might sound quite stupid, to believe I'm incapable of love, because love seems to be the consistent universal thing that keeps us all together right? But as a young girl, looking up with wide wondrous eyes, full of naivety and innocence, it's all I could believe, it's all I could wonder about. Young girls aren't supposed to feel that much pain at that sort of youth - maybe the pain of breaking your favorite toy, tripping over a log on the sidewalk, not the pain of you father leaving you behind without a single word, your heart going with him. But I felt that pain, every bit of it and for years it beat down on me, without fail - every Christmas, I would cry myself to bed at night thinking about my father, the man who told me he loved me, taught me to dance, told me if any boy broke my heart, he could take them - he didn't know he'd be the first to break it._

_My thoughts as a child were that, since my father left, it were rather inevitable that death would follow, because during those times, what was a family without a father? A family without a man of the household, a family without a loving and caring father. I always thought death would follow, without fail, as a way God would punish my family because there was no father there to care for us. I thought God would want to punish me, for not trying to keep him back, to hold him here, to let him know I loved him and told him, that this world is cruel and harsh, that I've now experienced it first hand, that it would be okay. 20 year old Hazel would've told him so, crouching on the floor as he sobbed into her arms - 8 year old Hazel would've stayed in that corner and let God punish her with that inevitable death she thought everyone ended up getting._

_Death was always a fear, at home and now even in war - an inevitable end to something you thought was so lovely, so kind, so giving, so substantial. But, in this war I have learned more about the broken pieces that make up a person - and how those broken pieces let the light in. There's light at the end of the tunnel - always. And maybe I had to go through a war to finally feel some of that light in me, some of the love I never knew I was capable of, and maybe that's okay, maybe you have to go through pain to finally see the light, all this darkness, this hate, this grief, this pain, that maybe it was all worth it. That God wouldn't make us continuously suffer unless there was an end goal._

_But I know God is kind, always, and his plans are always meant to work out the way he hopes. Maybe as a little girl I didn't believe that, but looking back now I do - in life and death. In life, there's inevitable pain, it's the only way you stay human, the only thing that allows you to feel some sort of emotion, that pit in your chest, but in the end, you always manage to reach out and grasp the light. But I know also, that there's also light in death. Because I've realized that when we die, we are not forgotten like it is thought to be, memories were created for a reason, the thought of loving and remembering one was created by God for that very reason. Because we when die, I know the ones who loves us will miss us. And by missing they are never forgotten. And for 13 years of my life I missed my father, begging God that he would allow him to come home, allow him to come back to this house, to be a father again, my father. But maybe that's not what God's plan was for me or my father or my mother._

_Maybe it was for the death of those ties to finally break, that bondage to sever because God knew it was not in his plan and the only way to know it wasn't, was by feeling the pain of those 13 years that I just couldn't cope with. That maybe it's okay to miss someone and not want them back in your life, just to miss the person who helped you grow into the person you became, but never want to see them again. And I feel it was a difficult lesson for me to learn, to comprehend, to understand - that quite possibly it took a whole war for me to grasp such a basic concept, but it was a lesson God never gave up on me with learning to handle - he didn't give up on me for one second. And sitting here, now I know what lesson he was trying to teach me. You lose love in one place and you may find it in another, an even darker, scarier place - but this love can be pure, kind, caring, funny, loving and full of a comfort you never thought you'd have._

_It was you._

_It was always you._

_Joseph Liebgott it was always you in my heart, always you on my mind, wishing for a love with you. Yearning for one. Because you may not think it yourself, but you have a good heart, a wonderful heart, a beautiful heart. And your heart and mine, they never stopped reaching for one another in the darkness, they were the light for one another. The other thought they were in so much darkness, that by reaching for the other, just maybe, they'd grasp onto that light again. And I let my heart do so, take hold of yours, holding it close, letting it be known that I in fact loved your heart. And my heart followed, loving yours endlessly._

_And our love, it's not perfect, it's not supposed to be, God was never supposed to make love perfect, but that's what makes it beautiful, truly. We were ourselves, Joe, that's all God would've wanted, no barriers, no borders, none of it, nothing, not any sort of guard created to please the other - we were ourselves and we showed each other our hearts. And when problems arose, neither of us ran, we didn't fear the other would not be capable of what our own minds felt, what sort of pain they felt, we dealt with it, together, we let ourselves deal with it, together. I knew then, we'd never run from our problems, we'd try and fix them, that's what God always, I felt, he preached._

_Many people have a hard time coming to a realization of this kind. But people need not wait for the world. They shall never give in to the perfection of what the world encourages. It's the secret no one wishes to discover one day, the one that may break hearts and shatter souls. The world wishes for perfect but deep down it wishes for each and every human to simply be themselves. Be who they want, it's why we're all different and made the way we are. We aren't supposed to be perfect, the same, the same version of another. We're supposed to be ourselves and I feel that's all the Earth had ever wished of us. What God wished of us._

_And you and I are not perfect, but in each other's eyes we are as perfect as perfect gets. We don't let our problems divide us like a sea, we yearn closer, we try to fix them, all of them, because problems were made for fixing, even if through it all it may not feel like it._

_The connection of our love, is more powerful than anything I feel in this world. I always thought love was the most powerful force and that it was this hard, difficult, frustrating thing to understand, but even in war I realized with you, you made it feel like the easiest thing in the world - simply loving someone for who they were, not bothering with pasts, fears, sadness, grief, for just purely LOVING. And you loved me Joe. And I loved you. And the connection, our love intertwined with another, means more than anything in the world to me. You loved me, because I was me. To be loved like that, sometimes I was so down on myself because of simply who I was. I never thought I was capable of love because of the love my father taught me - that you leave when the first problem arises. But no. That is not love._

_Love is sitting by the other person on a good or bad day, making them smile, laugh, holding them close, telling them they are not alone in this dark and stormy world. But it's also sitting side by side, knowing that they don't need to talk, they simply just need to be. And maybe it's simply because I adore you Joseph Liebgott. I adore you for so many things and I always have and I still do. But the first time I met you I respected you; you fought for what was right, and I said I'd do the same, and maybe it was simply those words to one another, a mutual respect, a mutual connection to the other that if you need a buddy to go do something with, I'd be there, because we just understood one another, we saw eye to eye. And maybe it was because I felt our mutual connection could grow into more from simply by the way we looked at one another. And it did, it grew into something so beautiful, so raw, so emotional, and so real, that now I know what true love is like._

_It's something you have to work at, you really have to work at it. You have to see this person in sickness and in health, through the good and and times, through tears and smiles, fears and grief and sadness, but also joy, happiness, pride. To simply just love because the other human was themselves. What was only ever dreamed of the human being._

_Because life is short. And we should never fear love. We don't know how many birthdays we have. And they say...celebrate on your birthdays - I say we should celebrate everyday, celebrating our lives EVERYDAY for simply just living and loving and laughing and simply just being. Life should be celebrated and we should love to celebrate this life we were given. Life of beautiful._

_So, sitting here now, I wish to love you endlessly and boundlessly through all the good and bad stages a life can bring one upon, because sometimes we have to suffer, suffer through a war, to reach that light, and for me, that light was you, Joseph Liebgott. And if it meant every time, that I somehow got you in the end, standing there, telling you love me under the dim lights with the stars shining above, I'd do it every single time, over and over. You're worth it, every single second, you are enough and you are worth it. You deserve love, you deserve so much of it, you deserve to be held and cared for and gently clasped in warmth._

_You always deserved it._

_The stars knew you deserved it, too. They always watched, even on nights clouded by darkness. You will always be deserving of love._

_I hope that maybe soon, if this war ever ends, I can give you all the love you deserve through the good and bad times, highs and lows, sadness and grief and happiness and joy, I hope that you know I will give you everything I have simply because I love you. And love is powerful Joe._

_My love for you, simply._

_Hopefully this world agrees, but I'm assuming we'll make it agree._

_I love you, Joseph Liebgot and I'll never stop loving you._

_Love,_

_Hazel Parker_

And finally, Joe let out a cry, putting a hand to his face, as sob after sob racked his body. He didn't know himself the power of Hazel's love, something which had scared her so much but had saved her. Simply by loving another. By loving him. Joe's tear filled eyes, didn't fail to continue to let those tears trail down his cheeks. 

" Hey, buddy!" a voice said and Joe looked up, sniffling to see it was George, standing in the doorway of the tent, a smirk on his face. The smirk fell when he noticed the state of his friend, his brother.

" Joe?" George said as he slowly stopped forward as Joe's leg bounced up and down as he nodded, shaking his head a bit as he wiped at is his eyes. 

" I've never loved someone more, George." Joe said, as he wiped his eyes, " God, I never have." George softly smiled and sat down on the bunk across from him.

" Hazel." George said and Joe nodded, " Is that what the letter's about?"

" It's from her, to me. Just, it's just, I love her." he said with a teary faced smile. George smiled.

" I know you do," George said as Joe wiped at his eyes again.

" God, she makes me actually feel things," Joe said, as he sniffled, rubbing his eyes again and George softly put a hand on Joe's knee and nodded.

" You know where it's like you can't describe it, that's...that's what this." Joe said, as his heart ached. George squeezed his knee.

" So don't tell me," George said, " just feel it." Joe looked up at George and nodded, a teary-eyed smile on his face.

" C'mere, buddy," George said as the two brothers-in-arms stood encasing one another in each other's arms as Joe held George so tightly, so brotherly, so close to him. George was his brother, all through this war, he'd been his brother. Pulling back George, put his hands on Joe's shoulder and smiled.

" Now, let's go play some ball, alright?" George said and Joe smiled, nodding, his eyes shining.

" One sec," Joe said turning to move towards his bunk to where he kept letters from his mothers. Joe softly knelt beside his nightstand and then softly kissed the letter, letting out a shaky sigh. Sliding it right next to his mother's, Joe slowly closed up the cabinet and sighed to himself with a smile. Slowly walking over George, Joe slung an arm over his shoulder.

" Let's go," George said and Joe grinned with a nod.

The two stepped out of the tent, and for a moment the barracks were silent, listening to the quiet whistle of the wind, the men who had felt so much pain finally having fun, out in the light, out in the brightness out in the sun, under the Austrian Alps in a world that wasn't quite ready for them.

It was glorious.


	48. d-day plus 434

✰✰✰

" Any time women come together for the collective intention, a powerful thing. Whether it's sitting down making a quilt, in a kitchen preparing a meal, in a club reading the same book, or around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with a collective intention - magic happens."

_\- Phylicia Rashad_

**_~ a quote on the power of Operation Virago_ **

✰✰✰

_as the author i myself am not ready, so i kept saying 'it's ok we have postwar after this' so that i could still see through the tears ;)_

✰✰✰

" EYYYY Tiny!" Johnny called, as Hazel let out an innocent little laugh as she came up towards the base, the bat in her grasp, a real smile, a one that had seen tears, grief, sadness, pain, on her face, as the warm sun bathed her entire being, in the late afternoon light.

Hazel finally felt the warmth on her skin that she had missed so much, a warmth that could've resembled so much more, but for that moment it was simply, so simply, the warmth of the sun.

" You took a perfect shot right before this, Tiny, you got this, alright?" she heard Buck say as she stood in front of him, bat lined up with a smirk on her face.

One or two practice shots had helped her get into the swing of things. 

Quite literally.

People cheered and called out towards her and each other, pure joy across all of their faces, this truthful and real happiness, to simply just be here, in this beautiful world, to be here in a world where the war for a moment didn't overpower everything else, that just simply living their lives was what was most powerful of all.

Hazel smirked proudly at Johnny who grinned.

Then Johnny threw the ball, launching it forward and Hazel watched with growing anticipation as she swung the bat around, cracking the bat against the ball like a whip watching it sail out over Johnny, through the sky into the outfield.

An excited cheer left Hazel's throat as she threw the bat to the ground, cheers erupting from her team on the bench and even Buck as she raced towards first a grin lighting up her entire face.

Feet kicking up the dirt, panting the slightest bit, feeling a bit of sweat form on her forehead as her body pushed her forward as she giggled like a little girl again.

Zipping past first she gave a smirk to George who came launching the ball towards Skinny at second, where she just turned at the right amount to go streaking towards third. She let out a laugh as she crashed into Joe's side making it to third in the knick of time as he grasped onto her laughing as well, a joyful, so care free, so boyish laugh, one she hadn't heard in a while.

For a moment as Hazel gazed over and up towards him, she saw her entire future ahead of her, with him, once this war was over. His hair was that soft brown, and fluffy atop his head and his eyes were shining as if he were a boy again and the grin that adorned his face had to be one of the cutest Hazel herself had ever seen. And it made her smile as the two began shoving each other laughs escaping their lips, so joyful so free, like little birds on a branch.

Next up was Catherine, in her PT gear, a messy bun on her head and a smile on her glowing face.

" I can pull rank on you Johnny if you mess this up!" she called as Buck let out a chuckle and Johnny slapped his knee laughing.

" Right, right, Lieutenant." he said and Catherine lined up to swing her bat. And when Johnny launched it, Catherine, looking like she was a professional, hit the ball and took off laughing, clapping her hands, calling out to Johnny grinning.

" I had 2 brothers who begged me to play Johnny, you remember that!" she said as Hazel took off from third base heading for home.

Once her foot hit the plate, she let out a cheer and in all the excitement as her team cheered, as she saw Lizzie clapping so excitedly, Hazel couldn't help but pull Buck in for a tight little hug out of pure joy. She was so ungodly happy, and she hadn't be this happy for so long. 

For once she didn't think about the war, nothing about the war. Just the fact she was with her family, this group of men and women whom she had fought a war with and would fight the war all over again with if it was with this glorious group of fighters.

" YAY!" Hazel called as Lizzie was the first to scoop her up in such a warm and loving hug, the two women giggling and laughing. As Hazel pulled back, Lizzie looked so happy, her cheeks a soft red, her blonde hair in her face, a smile like the sunshine glowing on her lips. She looked so happy. 

" You hit a real zinger, Tiny!" Tab said as he came over and encased Hazel in a hug and Hazel laughed.

" Lucky shot," she said as Tab and Lizzie laughed. 

" Now, all we gotta wait for is Lizard to take her shot." Tab said wrapping an arm over her shoulder and she rolled her eyes.

" Oh you just wait, Floyd." she said as Tab groaned.

" See, now we're going back to first names, I'm Tab, aren't I?" he said. Lizzie chuckled.

" I know, I know.... Floyd." she said and Tab just shook his head with a laugh as Hazel laughed lightly, noticing the chain on his wrist. 

" Are these your wings?" she asked reaching forward to take his wrist in hers and look at the little chain with the Jump Wings attached to it. She smiled.

" Yeah," Tab said, as Hazel admired it, " you can thank Elizabeth for that." Lizzie shoved his shoulder as Tab and Hazel chuckled. 

" I love it," Hazel said and the two smiled.

" Figured this time he wouldn't lose it," Lizzie said and Tab scoffed.

" You were the one that lost it," Tab said and Lizzie shoved his shoulder.

" Wrong, asshole, I put it by your nightstand, you forgot to put them on the next day," Lizzie said as Hazel just laughed shaking her head.

" You two are hilarious," Hazel said as they both smirked rather proudly.

" Something we take pride in," the two said before high-fiving together and Hazel grinned. The trio watched with glowing eyes as Gene stepped up to bat, a smirk on his face.

" Yeah Gene! That's my best friend!" Lizzie called out clapping excitedly and the group laughed. Lizzie had really brought Gene out of his shell more than anything, Hazel heard him crack a few jokes the other day that sent her laughing hysterically, he was actually really funny. 

And by the time Gene swung the bat, the ball was soaring through the air as Gene took off around the bases, Catherine taking off as well, shoving George playfully before sliding into third and smacking Joe on the arm when he tripped over her to unsuccessfully tap her out. The two were in chuckles by the time he had helped her to her feet.

" Frank! Yo Perconte!" Buck called as Frank hurried forward.

" Yeah, yeah, I'm coming Lieutenant." Frank called as he picked up the bat, shooting a shot off towards where Joe was which sent Catherine streaking towards home plate, sliding straight home and making Buck cheer.

Buck didn't seem to care there was teams, he just was with his company again and Catherine shot up, immediately hugging Buck, as the two snickered together. And plus the smile on his was adorable to Hazel.

" 'Ey Lizzie!" Buck called as Lizzie uncurled her arm from Tab's and stepped forward.

" Hell yeah!" Lizzie called as she darted around the corner, clapping her hands, making herself one of the most hyped up people there as she bent down to grab the bat. Hazel let out a giggle, as Lizzie's wild hair encased her face and she proceeded to run up to Buck and slap him on the shoulder, gratefully bringing in for a hug, not only before cracking a joke or two which sent them chuckling. 

Hazel looked up at Tab as he watched her, a soft expression upon his features, softer than before. Hazel softly smiled and nudged his arm and Tab seemed to shake out of it and glance down towards Hazel. He smiled before looking back up at Lizzie who took a pretty good swing, maybe a little shaky, forward before whipping down the bat and shooting towards first as Gene came streaking in from third - leave it to the medics to absolutely lose their _shit_ over baseball. Hazel couldn't help but laugh.

The men were cheering, shouting, their voices as if they were just teenagers again calling out one another as Gene slid right into the base, but didn't make it in time as Buck caught the ball right into his glove. Hazel laughed again as Gene stood and Buck smacked his behind with the glove; they were all laughing, all cheering under the glorious blue sky and the soft sunlight.

" Go get 'em, Web." Catherine said shoving him forward and Webster laughed hurrying out to the base. 

" All right, we got one down!" Buck called and Hazel grinned over at Catherine who let out a whoop clapping her hands together as Gene came over sitting by her side laughing, a wide smile on his face. Catherine wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and Hazel could see the laughs forming on both of their faces. Catherine loved her medics.

" Come on, Peewee. Let's get Webster." Buck called out to him as Web stood with a grin at the base. Johnny lined up the shot and under the wondrous sunlight, Webster hit the ball hard, watching as it sailed forward, flying through the air, and Hazel watched it gleefully, the shining sun dawning down upon them, so so bright, so beautiful.

Buck stood, looking up to the sky, a smile on his face, with his bright blue eyes practically glowing. He had come back to let the company know that he was alright. He became a prosecutor in Los Angeles. He convicted Sirhan Sirhan in the murder of Robert Kennedy and was later appointed to the California court of appeals.

Hazel watched Webster with glowing eyes as he let out a laugh, knowing he was out - he didn't seem to care, he was just happy he was with these men, with this company.

David Webster became a writer for The Saturday Evening Post and Wall Street Journal and later wrote a book about sharks. In 1961 he went out on the ocean alone and was never seen again.

Hazel giggled as Web looked back towards Hazel and Tab shaking his head. Tony moved up next and sent the ball flying forward and Hazel smiled watching it sail through the sky, as if it were a bird flying.

Hazel watched Johnny quickly grab the ball and launch it forward. He would return to his job at the railroad and then start his own construction company. He splits his time between Arizona and a place in Montana.

Hazel watched as George caught the ball, glancing over towards Catherine who watched him so softly as the men cheered, a little grin adoring her cheeks. George Luz became a handyman in Providence, Rhode Island. He and Catherine got married by the end of 1945, and had 3 kids together who would grow up in their little home by the bay. As a testament to his character, 1600 people attended his funeral in 1998.

Hazel softly smiled at their pure love, as Gene and her then told a joke sending them both laughing. Doc Roe died in Louisiana in 1998. He'd been a construction contractor.

Hazel watched as the game continued as Frank went sprinting between the bases towards third, his youthful smile spreading across his lips so joyously. He returned to Chicago and worked a postal route as a mailman. Hazel watched Skinny throw the ball he caught straight into Joe's grasp, who easily knocked Perconte out of the game with one swift movement, dust kicking up around them leaving them both chuckling, with wide smiles across their faces.

Joe Liebgott returned to San Francisco and drove his cab. And, of course, Hazel was there with him, by each other's sides, the entire time, marrying in early 1946, and having 4 beautiful children together in their happy life in the city by the bay under the stars.

Hazel watched Bull, a grin on her face as he slowly stepped up to plate, a snarky smirk across his features as he nodded with pride. Bull Randleman was one of the best soldiers of the company. He went into the Earth-moving business in Arkansas - he's still there.

Hazel watched him lift the bat up and take a swing.

Cheers erupted right afterwards as the shot flew through the air, gleeful smiles shining on everyone's faces. They were here, together, everyone, and in spirit, the men they had lost to death and injury, were there in _ALL_ their hearts.

They watched as Alton got the ball, but he had more than that in his back pocket. He returned to Wyoming with a unique souvenir -- Hitler's personal photo albums. He was killed in a car accident in 1958.

" Alright Tabby!" Catherine yelled giving him a shove forward towards the base as he held up his hands in surrender chuckling the entire time, looking out towards where Lizzie hung on third, a competitive look in her eye.

Floyd Talbert went home to Kokomo, Indiana and attended college, but he couldn't keep the woman who understood him most from his mind, and never failed to visit her each and every weekend in Grand Rapids, Michigan with a bouquet of flowers, beautiful yellow flowers. He and Lizzie married in late 1946 and had 3 children together before settling down in in a sunny little town in California.

How they lived their lives after the war was as varied as each man and woman. Hazel couldn't forget Lip's cheering and clapping on the sidelines, the brightest smile she'd ever seen on his face as Harry laughed beside him, chuckling.

Carwood Lipton became a glass-making executive in charge of factories all over the world. He has a nice life in North Carolina.

Harry Welsh -- he married Kitty Grogan, whom Hazel had heard about all those months ago back in Normandy, and became an administrator for the Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania, school system.

Hazel laughed joyously before her attention was caught upon two figures slowly making their way across the field, Ike jackets and uniforms in pristine condition, walking smoothly in sink with one another, looking out among the company, their company, Easy Company.

And she saw where they were walking - Ronald Speirs. Hazel couldn't help the smile that spread on her face. He stayed in the Army, served in Korea, and in 1958 returned to Germany as Governor of Spandau prison.

He retired a Lieutenant-Colonel.

He looked so proud watching his company, leaning against the jeep with a proud grin smile upon his face. It warmed Hazel's heart. He looked so proud - he loved this company more than anything, they all knew that.

And Hazel would never stop adoring him.

" Easy Company! School circle!" he suddenly called. Hazel glanced over at Tab and the two hurried around the corner, moving through the field to where the rest of the company slowly gathered in a circle under the blazing sun in the fields under the Alps of Austria with the fluffy white clouds, puffy and bright.

For Easy Company, they'd been fighting since D-Day, now it was D-Day plus 434.

D-Day felt so long ago, yet so close.

A year and 2 months practically, fighting for their lives, everyday in this horrid thing called war.

And now here they were, under the skies of the Austrian Alps, in a beautiful paradise. Hazel wished this moment where they were all so genuinely happy could last forever.

Hazel slowly came around the group and managed to squeeze in beside Joe, a grin on her face as he smirked at her.

For a moment, in his eyes, she knew he had read the letter, looking at her with the love he always held in his eyes for her. Hazel softly placed a hand on his up-bent knee and softly squeezed it with a loving smile.

Joe, managing the self control he could muster, attempted not to plant a soft kiss to her temple right then and there. With the golden sun, as if it were Paris in December 1944 all over again, reflecting off her gentle features - her blue eyes seemed brighter, cheeks rosier, dimples the most prominent he'd seen them, and that beautiful, tiny little smile on her lips, as her big eyes looked up into his own. So natural, so raw, so beautiful - Hazel had never looked happier, truly, in his eyes.

He could only fall harder.

" A fast man would've had it, Perco." Winters said as the group chuckled. Hazel giggled quietly to herself, before letting her eyes fall upon her ginger-haired former CO, standing tall, standing proud, with a softened aura, in front of the company he loved. 

" Listen up," Winters said as everyone gathered around. Hazel looked up at him, with a soft smile, watching him look at the group of men and women in front of him.

" We've got some news." Winters said as the sun slowly appeared more, a bright light on the company under the blue sky, watching their former CO stand so proudly watching the group, so prideful, so humbly. Hazel cocked her head the slightest bit to the side, and bit back her lip. 

" This morning President Truman received the unconditional surrender from the Japanese." Winters said and Hazel's heart felt like it stopped inside her chest, full on stopped. Her eyes couldn't move from Winters face as she watched him, her heart racing faster and faster.

Surrender, unconditional surrender.

From the Japanese.

The Pacific.

They were supposed to go the Pacific.

But...but... _surrender_.

A surrender meant no more war, no more fighting, no more sadness.

A surrender meant only one thing - this war, this horrid war, was over.

_It_ **_had_ ** _to be._

That's what Winters had to be saying.

Hazel's heart only pumped faster and faster as she looked up towards the golden Dick Winters.

" The war is over."

Hazel swore there were tears in her eyes, slight tears as she watched the Major stand in front of the group of his men and women, his company.

Hazel couldn't move her eyes from him, trying to tell herself it was true, all of it. That all of this was true. That the war was over, and there was no jump into Japan, there was no more training, it was only home, they could go home. They were going home. Because now, there were no points, medals of wounds, each man and woman in the 101st Airborne, in the 506th, in Easy Company, were going home. They all were going home.

But this connection, the connection each man and woman shared with the next, would forever hold them and bond them together by their shared experience, but they would all have to rejoin the world in the best possible ways they all could.

A world that hadn't stopped for war, had continued evolving a changing, now allowing war-torn soldiers, with the scars to prove it - finally returning home.

How long had it been since Hazel had even seen home?

Too long.

It made her heart ache, because all she thought about was her mother in that moment, the woman who was stronger than anyone else on this planet. Hazel could only envision her mother. 

Then someone yelled "Play ball!" and that got men moving, jumping up to their feet, cheering, a new found excitement hyping up each and every member now, because the war, the war of the entire world, was officially over and they could finally be at home, be with their loved ones, they could finally be going home and be away from the war, even if it still raged in their minds. That didn't matter now. They were going home.

The minute Hazel stood, she was pulled into a hug from Joe and she almost broke in his arms, but she held herself. Musing her hands right up into his hair and yearning to pull him as close as she could, she bit back the cry that danced on her lip. She had dreamed of a peaceful life after the horrors of war for so long that now she was beginning to believe it were actually a reality that she could touch, she could feel, that she could sense.

A reality where Germans weren't bombing you day in and day out.

A life with Joe.

As the two pulled back, Hazel looked up at him and he didn't need to say a word.

The letter, it had nestled right into Joe's heart, just by that beautiful look in his eye, she knew, they both did. The letter had made this moment worth it, the war, all of it, had made this all worth it.

Hazel softly glanced over towards George and Catherine who were chasing each other in the field their laughs echoing in the hill tops until George caught her in his arms and swung her around as she joyously let out a laugh, ringing out loud and clear. Hazel grinned. She caught many of the others hugging and cheering and letting out whoops, just celebrating this, the fact this war was over, all of it.

Her thoughts traveled back to D-Day - she had been all alone for those first few hours and had felt so hopeless. But now, with the war over, she was with her company, her family, and she knew she didn't have to feel hopeless anymore. Hazel looked up at Joe, tears welling in her eyes.

" I can't believe it's over." she whispered. Joe watched her with a gentle grin. 

" Believe it." Joe whispered softly and Hazel grinned up at him.

Hazel softly looked over towards Major Winters and Captain Nixon who sat watching their mind, finally enjoying a bit of the world without war for a moment.

It made Hazel smile.

Lewis Nixon had some tough times after the war. He was divorced a couple of times. Then in 1956 he married a woman named Grace and everything came together for him. He spent the rest of his life with her, traveling the world. Winters' friend Lew died in 1995.

Winters took up his job offer and was a personnel manager at the Nixon Nitration Works until he was called back into service in 1950 to train officers and rangers. He chose not to go to Korea. He'd had enough of war. He stayed around Hershey, Pennsylvania, finally finding a little farm, a little peaceful corner of the world, where he still lives today.

There is not a day that goes by that he does not think of the men and woman he served with who never got to enjoy the world without war.

Winters would receive a letter from Mike Ranney, with a simple ending that spoke volumes. ' I cherish the memories of a question my grandson asked me the other day.

When he said ' Grandpa, were you a hero in the war? Grandpa said, no.....

But I served in a company of heros. '

" C'mon, let's go see what the others are up to." Joe said gently wrapping an arm over her shoulder and Hazel smiled up at him.

" Yeah," she said and then looked up at him, " you know, now San Francisco sounds like reality now, you know?" Joe grinned, a wide little cheesy grin under the sunlight and nodded.

" It's always been," he said and Hazel let out a giggle, as the two followed after the rest of their friends, a night of celebrating, partying, and maybe even some tears for a war that managed to bring one special group together, even in the darkest hours of the world, and finally become one.

Elizabeth Elliot went back to Grand Rapids, Michigan, and decidedly began working through her schooling again, only to find Floyd Talbert wandering around nearly every week to her home, with a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. Lizzie couldn't resist that and the two ended up marrying in late 1946, having 3 beautiful children, Mallory, Everett and Annie, who Lizzie and Floyd always hoped would grow up in a world without war, but sometimes that was never the case.

Lizzie ended up becoming an advocate for mental health, and began working on medication for people who have mental health issues and other sorts of therapy because she knew what is was like to not have anything but a raging war is the therapy. Her leaps in the medical field sent waves throughout the world.

Catherine McCown went to Providence, Rhode Island with George Luz, getting a little home by the bay with her yellow kitchen and their Jump Wings in the bedroom, ended up having 3 children together George Jr, Lana and Ricky, as well as deciding to transfer to a local college - college would not be for the rest of her life, George would be.

Becoming a women's' rights activist, Catherine advocated for women's' rights whenever she had the time, as well as also becoming a environmental scientist. She worked hard in her field and became one of the top leading scientists are different projects from her ability to lead, using her intelligence and strategy, and get people to actively work together in ways no one could even describe. She never failed to stop advocating for a better world.

Hazel Parker went back home to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee with Joe Liebgott to visit her mother - the woman she had missed more than anything in this world. But after much deliberation, her mother wanted nothing more than for her daughter to be happy, with the man she loved. Hazel and Joe set out for San Fransisco and upon arrival met his family and began attending college there, studying astrology - she always promised herself that she'd never stop reaching for the stars. She and Joe lived a happy life together, having 4 children - Joe Jr, Juliette, Aster and Mara - and Hazel eventually worked her way up to doing research for NASA that helped launched the first space shuttle to the moon. It had never been a prouder moment in her life.

They were all just little stars, all of them, with their own lights inside of them willing to glow brighter and brighter, even as they were smaller and smaller. Hazel had always been just one little star, burning for no one but herself, doing what she could, being her own little star.

Hazel never stopped reaching for the stars, and she told herself she never would stop - the stars were always there, through darkness, through light. The stars never shied away.

They simply just glowed.

Hazel and Joe walked arm in arm under the sun but suddenly her gaze caught on Catherine and Lizzie who stood hugging one another out in the field, smiles on their faces, giggles on their lips, arms holding each other like the sisters they were. Hazel looked up at Joe.

" You go ahead," she said glancing back at the two women, " I'll be there in a second." Joe softly glanced to where her gaze had been and felt a warmth in his heart at the love in Hazel's eyes.

" I'll see you soon," he whispered, not hesitating to press a soft kiss to her temple which sent her blushing. Hazel giggled as Joe hurried away, not failing to also send her a suggestive wink after. She shook her head with a giggle before turning and racing over to the two women.

" Hey!" Hazel called as she raced over. Both Catherine and Lizzie, pulling back from their hug, looked over and saw the bright young woman racing towards them, a smile on her lips, her eyes so bright, so open, so intriguing, so ready for what was next.

3 years ago - Hazel would've been so terrified, so alone, scared and helpless. Now, she was ready for what life had to bring her, for what God had to offer.

Hazel let out a giggle.

" Hazel!" both Catherine and Lizzie squealed and Hazel couldn't help but launch herself straight into the arms of both Catherine and Lizzie, wrapping them in a hug that meant so much more than love.

The 3 women stood under the sun, just holding each other in that hug, simply just being there with one another, relishing that moment, trying to write down in their minds ever possible emotion and feeling that could accompany it.

It was their sisterhood, through sacrifice, through war, fear, sadness, grief, pain, joy, happiness, excitement, anger, rage - their sisterhood, of Viragos, of the 3 of them, of simply these three women holding one another as if they had known each other all their lives.

God had made the decision to put them together - that's what Hazel had always thought, that God wanted them to know, that these women will always be your sisters, through any point in your life, and they will teach you things, so many wonderful things, and they will hold you when you can't hold yourself, they'll laugh with you, cry with you, die for you - they'd simply be there for you - always.

God always has a reason, giving his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers.

These 3 women were all soldiers, pioneers that wanted to continue to lead forth into a greater world, a better future for everyone - for mankind and for women and their place in the work force.

They saved each other, because they knew you may feel alone, but you were never really alone in this big, blue world.

With these 3, you knew you could just look to your left and say I may not be there all the time, but in your heart I always will be.

Hold a hand to your heart and I'm there.

Always.

✰✰✰

_god i'm so emotional, but i'm holding myself from a thank you and complete author's note until the end of the story because YEP WE STILL HAVE POSTWAR! ie, the next few chapters are moodboards, which i made :))_

_if i could only describe right now what the impact of this story has been on me as a writer, to see my grow as one and develop new skills and abilities, i just - i promised myself i'd wait until the end of this entire book after postwar so that's what i'm going to do. but this book has seriously changed my life. <3_

_thank you to each and every one of you who has followed hazel, catherine and lizzie's story and will hopefully follow them into their postwar life, i can't thank you all enough for the love this story over 2 full books, has gotten!!! thank you to each and every one of you i appreciate you! and now to postwar! :)_


	49. part 2 ~ postwar

_**dedicated to the ones who look up at the stars and dream...** _

_**p o s t w a r** _

_**part 2 of ad astra per aspera** _


	50. postwar moodboards

**_MOODBOARDS FOR OUR POSTWAR CREW..._ **

**_accompanied by_ **

**_the duo_ **

**_where they live_ **

**_and three important words in their future <3_ **

**_enjoy!!!_ **

_**Hazel Parker and Joe Liebgott** _

San Francisco, California 

NASA, the stars, love

**_Catherine McCown and George Luz_ **

Providence, Rhode Island

mother, women's rights, humor

_**Elizabeth Elliot and Floyd Talbert** _

Grand Rapids, Michigan

mental health, new-found love, emotions

_author's note - all i can say? stay hyped! we got postwar coming your way!_

_updates may not be as fast as when i uploaded the first half of this story, but they will keep coming out regularly, so stay tuned!! :)_

_~~~~ <3_


	51. the postwar children

_**Their entire lives, they heard of what their parents did, what friendships they had through the horror of the Second World War and the love and bonds they found in one another. Now, in an even darker, more utterly terrifying world, they must go unto it, and find themselves, and make their marks in this new one.** _

_The Liebgott's - > Hazel and Joe Liebgott's Children _

**Joseph 'Joe' Liebgott, Jr.**

_Joe Jr heads off to fight in the Vietnam war with a pack of smokes in his pocket and a smirk on his face - like his father, if he fights, he'll fight - he could bring a war all by himself._

_FOCUS >> the vietnam war_

**Juliette Liebgott**

_Juliette has a voice and she has a heart - and she intends to use both. Even with her brother off to war, she still doesn't believe violence is the best medicine for a cruel world; just a little bit of art, joy, and the want for a greater future could be the right change._

_FOCUS >> more art, not violence_

**Aster Liebgott**

_Aster was the quiet kid with too many loud thoughts in his head and a want to never experience the war like his mother and father did. Setting out to be the newspaper writer for his college, Aster uses parts of his letters home from his brother to truly show the horror of the war and of a world that sometimes won't just be meant for others._

_FOCUS >> a journalist of war_

**Mara Liebgott**

_Mara was quiet - she knew, but she was shy and gentle as well - it only made her more inclined to be a free spirit in a world of hate, to want to bring peace and happiness. But she will discover how hard and how many tries you have to take in order to even near a happiness and a joy in such a harsh world._

_FOCUS >> free spirits and the hippie movement _

_The Luz's - > Catherine and George Luz's Children _

**George Luz, Jr**

_George Jr goes off to war with his best friend Joe Jr, who is more like a brother and a cousin that anything else - with a sarcastic, shit-eating grin that he might've just learned from his father, and a mind that spoke more words than what could be written on the page like his mother, George decides he won't ever let a war, even one such as Vietnam, take humor from his mind. It's the good stuff ;)_

_FOCUS >> the vietnam war_

**Lana Luz**

_Lana, like her mother, always believed women were just as powerful as any creature on this earth. Kind, intelligent and strong in more ways than one, Lana sets it out as her duty to continue to advocate for a better world for the females of their generation, a brighter world for the future, even in one darkened by war._

_FOCUS >> women's rights_

**Ricky Luz**

_Ricky's only a child and he knows that. But he hears his mother and father talking late at night past into the early hours of the next day, about his older brother, about the war, about fear, about 'what if what happens to us happens to him'. And that scared him. Mommy and Daddy were always so brave, what could scare them? So, Ricky never lets a ray of sunshine go unnoticed and when it does, he simply becomes it._

_FOCUS >> the good of a dark world_

_The Talbert's - > Lizzie and Floyd Talbert's Children _

**Mallory Talbert**

_Mallory KNEW she had gotten just about each and every one of her mother and father's genes all in one. The sarcasm, the flirty nature, the zeroed-in sense of motivation, and quite possibly just an ounce of intelligent. Okay, more than she'd want. And having to battle that with a mass of Harvard boys? Not exactly fun, but when you start spouting off random facts from The Second World War, suddenly you're the most interesting person on the planet - and in a sarcastic manner? Even better._

_FOCUS >> the college student_

**Everett Talbert**

_Everett was well.....different. He wasn't different, different, but different in the sense that his mind never was his mind sometimes - that's how his mother had described it. To describe her mental health - the hyperactivity disorder that had destroyed the second half of war for her. ADHD. He had it, just like his mother. But he was proud. Mental Health is more important than anything and by advocating for it, whenever he can step foot outside, is the right way to go - war was not - even if his two best friends who were brothers were right in it._

_FOCUS >> mental health advocates_

**Annie Talbert**

_Annie knew she had to be kinder to herself, to not put herself down for it, but ADHD had quickly destroyed her life - her parents and siblings had been the only thing to build her back up. Her mother's warm words, her father's gentle hugs, Mallory's confidence in Annie and Everett's ability to relate to her and help her. But she was too inside her head sometimes, too much for her liking - she hated it. She wished she could get out of it some days - like she could put in another brain that wasn't broken. It would take a while before she learned to love who she was._

_FOCUS >> severe cases of ADHD_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_hello! so, these are the children of my three couples that i have loved writing and ADORE. and yes, lizzie and tab is happening - tab deserves more love :)) with these children, i hope to focus on issues that are relevant to what their parents went through - being the quiet kid, women's rights, civil rights movement, mental health, the hippie movement, more peace - less violence, the vietnam war, art, LGBT rights (in the 60s mainly), etc, things like that - even though i'm not sure how many of these i'll be able to hit on because i don't want o misrepresent them and i don't know if i'm going to have enough time in this book to do so as i am planning my other bob book - Landslide - at the current moment. but these are topics that i hope to tap in on throughout the course of discussing these 10 children <3_

_and sorry if these look a bit wonky on here - they are copied straight from my wattpad version of the book :))_


	52. the briefing room

✰✰✰

_a/n ~ hello and welcome to postwar! i am BEYOND excited to finally reach this moment of time in this series. it is truly a long time coming and this chapter is a highly defining moment for operation virago._

_do you remember **sergeant barbara miller** from earlier in the soldier of stars? if so, she is the focus of this chapter!! and i hope you enjoy her perspective to show truly what these viragos mean as members of operation virago. i've never been prouder :,) _

_allen leech is general edward lacourtier - so that's why his gif is at the top of the page - > just a hint, you'll find out general lacourtier was the anonymous writer!!_

_thank you! and enjoy! <3_

✰✰✰

" Have more humility. Remember you don't know the limits of your own abilities. Successful or not, if you keep pushing beyond yourself, you will enrich your own life - and maybe even please a few strangers."

_\- A.L. Kennedy_

✰✰✰

**_Briefing Room, White House, Washington DC - August 31st, 1945_ **

" Alright, moving on from the topic of General MacArthur and the Supreme Allied Command and onto another even larger topic - Operation Virago."

The news reporters just about burst out of their seats at the mere comment of the female lead operation - one that had been so covert, so secret, and so so successful - no one had even suspected it to be. 

Hands flew up, mouths were moving, and cameras were rolling. 

Everyone had questions, nearly everyone had an answer and just about each person in the room believed that at the moment Operation Virago was the most appealing story to put in their paper - even with a war just newly ended. Operation Virago rumors scored the fronts of each and every magazine of America, with hidden details from anonymous senders, pictures sent in by others, information from March 1941 on the entire ordeal initially being thought of. Information upon information on Operation Virago was being spewed to the public. 

Major Barbara Miller sat stiffly beside General Edward LaCourtier - the anonymous General who wrote in his piece about Operation Virago back in the summer of 1945 - which nearly everyone had seen. 

General LaCourtier had been the main reason Operation Virago had gotten onto its feet - and the main reason he had written it anonymously before revealing himself to the public with merely a sod ridden face of utter disgust as he watched the media like wild animals snap and claw for each and every bit of attention from either himself or Major Miller. 

Barbara Miller had become one of the highest ranking women among the Viragos and had made the landings with General LaCourtier into Sicily amongst some of the bravest men she'd ever met. Watching the hungry reporters acting like children merely made her stoop to their level. 

But she would never - she had more dignity than that. Her uniform was that of the Viragos - she'd kept it around ever since she left Camp Athene and was shipped out - she figured one day that she'd need it again, and turns out her gut instinct was right. Her Camp Athene medal sat upon her breast with a few other medals - a few Purple Hearts, medals from her missions in Africa and Europe, an oak leaf or two for good measure. All shined to perfection, glowing like the radiant sun, except the sun was outside and in this darkened and dim briefing room of the White House the mood was anything but. 

Barbara's gaze slowly cast over towards General LaCourtier. 

Fighting with him in Sicily had been one of her proudest moments - they had seen the good and bad of one another and had become great comrades in battle - he had never cared that she were a woman, a female - he was more interested in the fact she were a Virago as he had advocated mainly for the Operation to even take place, and the fact she were quickly working through the ranks one after the other. They had led some of the riskiest missions with the bravest men they'd ever known through Italy. 

But Edward's gaze was unlike his battle-ridden facade, icy and distant, eyebrows narrowed, eyes darkened like licorice. He would burst soon and by this time Barbara would sit back and watch it as if it were a comedy. She knew something about General Edward LaCourtier from her time in Italy with him - you didn't get in his way, you didn't mess with his plans, and you didn't bash Operation Virago or any of the 250 women - dead or alive - who had been a part of it. After Eisenhower's selection, LaCourtier had learned of each and every woman who would be apart of Operation Virago - he still knew of each and every woman dead or alive.

" General LaCourtier could you tell us more about Operation Virago? Why you thought it was such a brilliant idea?" one reporter asked as Barbara bit back the smirk on her lips, shaking her head. 

" Major why are you shaking your head?" another asked and Barbara felt all gazes on herself suddenly. 

Oh boy would it just add to her confidence.

" The sentence you just asked the General was rather off-putting if you look at it that way - like it weren't good enough or successful, when it reality, we've won the war, and the women were along with each, each Virago, dead or alive, were there. You all figured when this came out that the women would be the reason you lost - we may not be the reason you won, but we fought this entire war with you and we've won." Barbara said cooly.

Get over it. End of discussion.

" You speak Major....-"

" Miller." Barbara answered, with a slight twinge of anger - at least learn her name.

" Major Miller, yes, yes, you speak as if you were cold or angry." the reporter said and Barbara's gaze didn't falter.

" Yes." she answered simply, " How else would I when all you all are doing is bashing a successful Operation?" It grew quiet and Barbara knew she had hit the nail on the head.

" General are you seriously going to let her speak like this? In front of the media?" a rounder reporter asked, his mustache possibly too long, beady eyes with a tangible gaze. Edward slowly sat forward a bit, straightening his back and put one of his familiar smirks on his face.

" Yes - as the person who created Operation Virago, all of our Viragos trained relentlessly and performed to their highest abilities in combat and war zones - I believe they have every right to speak the way they speak," General LaCourtier said, " I'd advise you all to take a look at the transcript on Lieutenant Catherine McCown when the 101st Airborne was based in Austria - all our Viragos share a same drive and passion for the fight for equality and I, myself share the same."

" As a man?" 

" Yes." It grew quiet.

" But, why in this time period, why would you even consider it? As one of the United States Top Generals, why worry?" a reporter asked and Edward smirked.

" It worked didn't it? Why would I even bother with why I considered it." Edward explained as Barbara slowly let her gaze move through the reporters' eyes again. Barbara cleared her throat and slowly stood, before stepping up in front of General LaCourtier and the rest of the media.

" Operation Virago initially effected none of your lives so why do you continue talking about the bothers of it in your life? 2 months ago - no one knew Operation Virago existed and you were fine - and now all you can talk about is the impact of the war the women had - a negative one at that - each and every bit is negative, but yet here we are, with the war won." Barbara said, her tone firm, neutral and completely unfazed, " Please tell me, why with the war over, this issue is still on all your minds." Barbara's gaze moved across the reporters hesitant gazes and one reporter slowly stood.

" Women are just....they're not men, so having them fight in a war...it's just not normal." he said.

" It is now." Barbara said. The reporter took it as his cue and sat as another one, closer to the front made his move to stand to his feet. Barbara locked her eyes in on him, and curiously cocked her head to the side. 

" The reason we keep talking about it is just that, it's not normal to have women fight in war - that's a man's job. Women are needed for home, for the kitchen, and I'm sorry if you disagree, but that's how it has always been." the man said, anger boiling from him.

" Yes, I know. But who took your places when you all went off to war? Women. Factories were filled with them, stories, markets, schools, colleges - occupied by women - your sports were even filled with women. And I know...I know many of you will not be able to comprehend a woman in uniform, but 250 of us fought and you can't ever take that away from us. We fought in this war, and some of us died in this war, just like many of the men who fought in this war. We all fought and died and lived as US citizens, is that not enough?" Barbara asked. 

" Excuse me?" a voice called and Barbara slowly glanced up to see the only female reporter in the room slowly stand to her feet, " It is enough, for all us women here at home to finally see women at war with men on the frontlines, I believed it was enough and it always has been. Women and men are simply just humans and we fight wars to win them - we won a war and these women just happened to be apart of it, why can't you simply be thankful for those who fought for your flag, your rights and the ability to still be here. If they hadn't won, we'd be speaking Japanese or German, a whole different language, we would've lost even more lives. These women helped win a war, respect that." Barbara smiled.

" What's your name?" The young reporter smiled. 

" Eleanor Dros." Eleanor said with a smile.

" And are you the only female reporter in this room?"

" Yes, ma'am, have been ever since I graduated college."

" Graduated college?"

" Yes ma'am, down in the South, part of the only group of women."

" And you're here, just like the rest of these men who graduated from college?"

" Yes ma'am."

" As you can see men, it doesn't matter where you go, you all went to different colleges, are different genders and ended up here."

" But there's only one!" a reporter called out.

" Yes, but one woman can lead for many - you just have to believe a bit." Barbara said, " If you don't believe, you can't ever let your imagination get anywhere. Eleanor believed - and now she's here. Maybe if you all believe just a bit more, than you can remember that 250 women did in fact fight for your country and a majority is still alive."

" Any further comment General LaCourtier?" one of the reporters asked. Barbara let her gaze turn to him and she noticed Edward smile as he stood to his feet beside her. 

" I wrote an article back in June 1945, and it was released to the public in early July 1945 - and I wrote it under an anonymous name, but nothing I said, I regret. It was true, all of it, and those were my true feelings about this. They deserved a chance, just like the rest of you did. Human beings deserve simply, just, a chance! And that's what we gave them and those 250 women took it and ran with it, and they didn't let anything hold them back or stop them. They were filled with just as much of a want to fight as any man were and that's what they went and did. They fought. If you can't respect a human being fighting for your country, then what do you respect?" Edward said, his icy gaze meeting each and every set of eyes. 

Then the doors opened and both Barbara and Edward's gazes turned towards them. There in the dark, wooden oak door stood two men Barbara had idolized. President Harry Truman and General Dwight D. Eisenhower. 

Almost immediately Barbara and Edward moved in sync to salute the two and familiar smiles bloomed on both of their faces as they saluted before marching forward towards the stage. As they slowly moved up the stage General Eisenhower let them drop their salutes before he came up next to the two.

" I hope these reporters weren't giving you any problems." Eisenhower said and the duo smiled at each other before looking at him.

" Not too much, sir." Edward said and Eisenhower let out a small chuckle before turning to President Truman who stepped up to the two.

" President Truman, this is General Edward LaCourtier, he was the General who devised the plan for Operation Virago and brought the information to me." Eisenhower said and the two saluted before shaking hands and Edward smiled.

" And this is Major Barbara Miller, one of the highest ranking Virago members of Operation Virago - she found with General Edward LaCourtier in Sicily and Italy in the Italian Campaign and did some time in Africa with him." Eisenhower explained as Barbara saluted and President Truman smiled before saluting and shaking her hand.

" It's a pleasure to finally meet you two." President Truman said as the two stood at ease in front of him, " General LaCourtier I've heard a great many things about you and you've impressed me with your time in the field." Edward nodded with a smile.

" Thank you, sir." Edward said and President Truman smiled before looking over at Barbara.

" Major Miller I have never been prouder to be standing in front of such a capable young woman in my life. With your accomplishments as a Major and leader in the field, and the ability to stay so focused, I've been amazed by you." President Truman said and Barbara smiled.

" Thank you, sir." she said and President Truman smiled before nodding to Eisenhower who slowly approached the loud and crowded group of rambunctious reporters at the front of the room. Almost immediately the clicking sounds of the camera increased as well as the voices that whispered.

" I hope that while we've been back there that you have treated our Major and General with the utmost respect." General Eisenhower said in a rather joking manner, and the group of reporters faked a chuckle which made Barbara's smile twitch. Her stomach twisted into a sour pit in her intestines. 

The flashing of the cameras clicked away, over and over again, over and over, like the bullets that flew atop her head as she watched her best friend collapse on the field, with a bullet oozing blood at his right side. 

Barbara's gaze turned cold all of the sudden as in that moment she wasn't in America, she was stuck in a trance, stuck in the mud clad boots of Italy, her feet numb, her clothing drenched in sweat, perspiration dripping down the side of her face and fear clasping each and every bit of her soul. And she watched him go, his body go limp as she were just a mere Captain watching her most trusted Lieutenant die in front of her. She still held onto the scarf he always wore with a smile on his face. E

dward had seen it happen and had been the one to pull her back, away from him, away from Death. But in that moment, Barbara had wanted Death to scoop her up into his arms and take her away, too. 

War was horrid.

" Major Miller?" a voice asked and Barbara felt herself jump a bit as her eyes glued to General Eisenhower's.

" Sorry, sir." she said and took a few steps forward, glancing at Edward for a moment.

" Care to tell the men about Operation Virago?" General Eisenhower asked her, " Your experience, anything you please?" 

" Yes, sir." she said with a shaky gaze, before letting out a trembling breath, which made her throat dry, " Operation Virago....." 

And suddenly all the memories came rushing back - they always did. 

The war would stay with all of them, no matter what - it was merely a side effect of war, after too many horrid events all at once. 

But like they said - _it was war_. 

✰✰✰

_thank you for reading!! and get ready for a hazel and joe in POSTWAR! i'm hoping to do alternating chunks of my 3 viragos in this portion of the story - so yes! hazel and joe are up next!! thank you <3_


	53. pigeon forge

" It's all about who calms the storm. It's your dancing partner, drinking buddy, lover, adventure buddy, stare at the stars and talk about life, and best friend in one."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

**_Pigeon Forge, Tennessee - September 24th, 1945_ **

Hazel Parker looked up towards her home, the one where she had seen her life grow before her own eyes, where she had lost her first teeth, done her first page of homework, cried over getting a bad grade, stubbing her toe, falling on the playground - all of it. The one where she had left her mother behind and the war ahead of her. 

Letting out a shaky breath, Hazel slowly glanced up towards Joe Liebgott, who stood by her side with a soft smile. 

Joe Liebgott - he had been the one to help build up the strength to actually have the confidence to return. Hazel knew she loved her mother, she would never stop loving her mother - but being gone for as long as she had been, missing all those holidays, birthdays, all of it - it would be so hard to fall into the way of life back in America. Finally away from war, and finally home, at a place that she adored and missed so much. 

Hazel remembered stepping onto American soil for the first time, the joy of letting her foot brush the ground and automatically knowing she was home. But she remembered the sadness that encased each hug she had to give before coming home, officially. The tears, the crying, the raw and guttural sobs that left many mouths. 

How would they cope? 

Alone in this big, wide world? 

Without their brothers and sisters in arms? 

How were they supposed to? 

It was like they had forgotten how to live in that war and just hold a weapon and fight - it was what fighting that war had felt like for too long. 

Hugging and holding Catherine and Lizzie before the 3 Viragos parted ways was what hurt the most. Hazel had seen those women practically everyday of her life since June 1942 - training and fighting and preparing with them up until September 1945. 

Over 3 years - and now she was supposed to act like those 3 years didn't happen, like they hadn't just won an entire war. But holding Catherine and Lizzie as the three of them didn't fail to sob into one another's arms hurt the absolute most, because Hazel knew she didn't know when she'd hold either of them in her arms again. 

Saying good bye to Ronald Speirs hurt as well - Hazel knew he was staying in the Army and he made a promise of being at the wedding if _Joe happened to propose_ and Hazel couldn't help but burst into tears as he said that. 

Poor Speirs had to console the girl - he didn't mind. 

Saying good bye to the others though, hurt the most - all of them - each and every man of Easy who didn't fail to touch her heart and make her feel important, like she was a part of something greater than what the world had to offer. With Easy, everyone was important - she'd miss that. 

In this world, you were merely a speck in it all.

" Hey," Joe said softly and Hazel looked up at him. Staring up into those beautiful brown eyes, the ones that had never failed to follow her since day one. 

" I'm right..." Joe said softly, taking her hand in his," I'm right here." Hazel managed a small smile on her lips and squeezed his hand tightly in her own.

" I'm glad you're here, next to me, standing here." she said, " I need you." Joe's gaze softened as he softly squeezed back her hand. 

" I need you too you know," he said, softly pressing a kiss to her head," who else to keep me out of trouble." Hazel couldn't help but giggle.

" Does your mom know I'm coming?" Joe asked her. Hazel watched him. She nodded with an innocent smile.

" Yes," Hazel said, " and she's been so so excited to meet you, Joe." Joe actually felt himself blush the tiniest bit even at the mention.

" C'mon, Daisy's here too." Hazel whispered and Joe grinned. He loved hearing Hazel talk about her mom and Daisy. 

As the two slowly approached the door in their pristine uniforms, bags on their shoulders, Hazel's hand grew sweaty and Joe only squeezed her hand tighter. 

As the two stood on the front porch, you could smell the warm afternoon breeze that blew in from the Appalachian mountains, similar to that of the Alps. Hazel had loved being in the Alps more than anything. A few birds twittered about and the minute Hazel knocked on the door, soft barking echoed from inside the house and Hazel couldn't help but squeeze Joe's hand tighter. Joe softly watched her with a loving gaze. 

Hazel needed that. 

Hazel's heart was racing faster than anything before, watching and waiting for the face of her mother to appear where the door currently was, with her beautiful and bright blue eyes, a warm smile on her lips, her soft motherly gaze looking upon her daughter. Hazel swallowed thickly. 

Footsteps slowly came from the other side and the minute the door opened, Hazel couldn't help but let tears fill her eyes. 

Dropping each and everything in her grasp, she launched forward, wrapping her arms around her mother. 

And before they knew it, Lena Parker had her daughter back in her arms again, sobs escaping Hazel's mouth as her mother held her, soft cries leaving her own mouth. 

Joe watched with tear filled eyes, as Hazel cried into her mother's embrace, a warm, loving, and never-failing to provide some sort of safety sort of embrace. An embrace Hazel hadn't felt in over 3 years. 

Daisy was even quiet, watching the scene. 

It was like an older version of Hazel, with those same wise, blue eyes. Joe couldn't help but bite back a slight trembling lip at the raw cries escaping Hazel's mouth. Hazel had never missed her mother more. 

The two stood for a moment, just holding each other, silent tears that held the words that would rather be held in than spoken, crawling down their cheeks. 

As the two Parker women pulled back, Joe could see the resemblance of Hazel's beautiful smile on her mother's lips as the two held each other's faces, soft whimpers escaping both their lips as mother and daughter finally held each other once again.

" I missed you, mommy." Hazel whispered, her voice so soft, so fragile, so raw. Lena gently brushed the hair from Hazel's tear-ridden cheeks and smiled.

" I missed you more, love." Lena said softly, before leaning forward to press a tender kiss to her forehead, one filled with love, a motherly love. The hug had meant more than what any words could've for them. Hazel let out a tiny laugh as she reached up to wipe her tears and glance towards Joe.

" Mom, this...this is Joe, my boyfriend. Joseph Liebgott." Hazel said softly with glistening eyes. Lena softly looked towards Joe with a bright smile, her eyes shining like Hazel's always did when emotional.

" Joe!" she said, and like Hazel, she didn't hesitate to wrap him up in a warm hug, which Joe gladly melted into. 

Like his mother's. 

A motherly touch could heal anything for Joe.

" It's nice to meet you Ms. Parker." Joe said softly into the motherly embrace and Lena pulled back gently cupping his face, like a proud mother, her eyes shining, a smile, almost exactly like Hazel's on her face.

" Oh, please, Joe, call me Lena." she said, a slight Polish accenting hinting in her voice. Hazel didn't have one - Hazel had told him from growing up in America and not speaking Polish heavily that she didn't have one. Her mother had grown up speaking Polish before learning English. Joe grinned.

" My, my aren't you just the most handsome young man." Lena said with a wise eye noticing her daughter start to blush even at the mention, a smirk dawning over Lena's features. 

" Thank you, Lena." Joe said and Hazel softly grinned up at him as his mother smiled.

" You two come inside, I was just preparing lunch, some Kopytka if you don't mind, I made a fresh batch last night." she said.

" Oooh, Mom, with the crispies on top?" Hazel asked and Lena smiled at her daughter.

" Just as you like them," Lena said and Hazel grinned, gently picking up her bag and taking Joe's hand in her own.

" C'mon inside, hello Daisy-girl," Lena said as she stepped inside the cool house and Daisy was already on Hazel and Joe. Wagging her little butt around, tongue hanging out of her mouth excitedly as the two automatically knelt down to pet her little doggy head.

" Hiya Daisy," Hazel said as the top began licking her face, before suddenly distracted that _oh there's another human here_ and jumped on Joe as Hazel let out a laugh as Joe knocked back onto the ground the dog licking him repeatedly. 

And Hazel couldn't stop smiling seeing the smiles and laughs that escaped Joe's mouth. 

Lena let out a jolly old laugh - like Santa Claus, before kneeling down as well.

" Daisy's just happy to see other people, she's only see a few of the same the past couple of years and of course babcia and dziadek, but I kept telling her you two were coming soon." Lena said and Joe sat up with a laugh as Daisy continued licking his face.

" She's a beautiful dog, Mom." Hazel said petting right on top of her head and Daisy's little eyes almost squeezed shut in glee. Lena smiled.

" She is, isn't she, she's been my best friend through all this." Lena said and Hazel softly glanced at her mother, placing a hand on her knee. Lena gently placed a hand over her daughter's and squeezed it. 

A silent conversation between mother and daughter, one that never failed to show the love they had for one another. 

And Joe saw this even past petting Daisy's little head. He saw their powerful bond, their powerful mother-daughter connection that had kept them together even through a war. They shared so much together. It made his heart feel so so warm, warmer than anything before. 

Holy fuck he was so in love with Hazel.

" Daisy-girl, now why do you think attacking our poor guest is the proper introduction?" Lena said and Daisy turned from Joe as she realized _oh HUMAN_ and started wagging her tail, before sitting down off of Joe now.

" And now she thinks I have treats, she's a little spoiled, since it was just the two of us." Lena said and as Hazel helped Joe to his feet, the two chuckled. Meeting his eyes, Hazel smiled at the joy in Joe's eyes as Daisy moved to follow Lena into the kitchen. 

Grasping his hands, Hazel finally began to feel like the reality of Joe and her actually living the life they had both wanted through this war. And by the look in Joe's eye, she knew he was beginning to believe it to. 

Hazel slowly turned from Joe and looked around the home. It looked like it always had, and all the home improvement projects her mother had started were all finished. The front door was the same old oak, with the little glass window in it, and the black framing, and the bathroom and her mother's bedroom were to the left and right of the door. 

And in the hallway they were in, were beautiful pictures of mountains and landscapes, as well as a few of Hazel. Hazel softly grinned. It opened up into the large backroom and the door that lead to Hazel's room to the left. The kitchen looked beautiful and so clean, with its pristine plates, delicacies and antiques of pots and little cups around, tiny plants growing from them, and of course her mother's favorite oven mitts with the chicken on it. 

And the island connected right into the backroom with the wooden table Hazel and her mother had crafted years ago together, little place mats set, the bookshelf in the corner, and the couches and chairs in a large circle by the fireplace next to the bookshelf. 

It was home - a home Hazel had missed.

" Now, Daisy-girl, are you going to take it nicely like you always do?" Lena asked as Hazel and Joe came around the corner as Daisy sat in front of Lena. Daisy softly bit the treat and Lena smiled.

" Beautiful as always my Daisy." Lena said patting her head before looking up at her daughter and Joe. 

As a mother, to see the man who your daughter is in love with, be watching her as Hazel is watching her mother is the thing any mother could dream of. To see someone just so in love with your child, wanting to take in just everything about them, just to be by their side, to be near them, to be able to just look at them, and inhale them like a flower. Lena smiled and Hazel let a tiny grin pass her face.

" The house looks beautiful, mom." Hazel said as Lena smiled. 

" You should go look at your room," Lena said and Hazel's eyes widened. Ever since she was a kid, she had wanted to redo her room, but there had never been enough money or time - and her mother had been stressed to the high heavens, and Hazel had always respected that about her mother. That her mother was trying her hardest.

" My room?" Hazel asked and Joe smirked meeting Lena's eyes who twinkled with a wise grin. 

" How about you bring Joe with you?" Lena said, " I'll get the Kopytka ready and we can sit out on the back porch, overlooking the mountains." Hazel grinned and then took Joe's hand in hers whipping him around the corner towards her room. It left Lena chuckling, watching as Daisy went padding after them, tongue returning to hanging out of her mouth. 

The minute Hazel got to her childhood room, it no longer looked like her childhood room, even if it had each and every bit of her childhood inside. The minute the door had creaked open, Hazel had dropped Joe's hand and had instead cupped one over her mouth as she stepped inside. The house was built like a log cabin almost, so each room, had a log cabin feel. 

Joe softly leaned against the door, hands in his pockets, with a soft smile on his face as Hazel slowly stepped inside and looked around, her eyes shining as sunlight streamed in from the open window, which let it a bunch of fresh air, filling the room with Earth. 

The bed was a queen, two soft beige pillows on top, and then a white, fluffy comforter underneath. Her nightstand was wooden, seemed to be made by hand, and had little ceramics and potted plants adorning it.

On the walls were star pictures and from the look on Hazel's face, Joe knew she'd seen them too. A bunch of star pictures, hanging in beautiful frames, all around the room. And the tiny closet in the corner had a mirror beside it, door slightly ajar to show there were things inside of it. And there were plants everywhere. 

Hazel had mentioned before how much her mother loved plants and thought with more plants in the home, you always had a healthier home. 

Her mother lived by it. 

And the desk even had a typewriter, clean and shiny, some ink on the side, paper, a few more plants and even some picture frames. 

Hazel softly met Joe's eyes again with her own shining ones and softly stepped towards him.

" My mom must've done this when I was gone, the room...." Hazel said, looking towards it," I never thought it could look like this." Joe grinned softly at her. 

" C'mon," she said taking his hand and pulling him into the room and Joe let out a laugh following her in. 

But before Joe could do anything, he turned and jumped right onto the bed as if he were a little kid and it made Hazel let out the loudest giggle he'd ever heard from her - it meant she was happy, it was a gloriously happy giggle. It made Joe smile as she jumped in beside him.

" Momma said jumping on the bed was the best thing to make you happy again, even though all the other kids at school were never allowed to." Hazel said as Joe smirked at her, handing slowly reaching back for one of the pillows.

" Well I guess you can say I'm pretty happy right now because I did in fact jump on the bed." Joe said and Hazel laughed lightly, before she felt something hit her head.

A pillow. She scoffed as Joe laughed, before she reached over his body to grab the other and wack him on the head. Joe let out a laugh before smacking her again and before it could be stopped they were laughing, giggling, and smacking each other in the head with pillows.

" I told you I'd get you back someday," Joe called over the pillow smacking and Hazel stopped staring at him panting a bit.

" What?" she asked.

" You, jumping me awake back a few days before D-Day," Joe said, gently picking a feather from the pillow out of her hair as she laughed.

" Oh, right," she said with a slightly sarcastic tone," how could I possibly forget?" Joe smirked at her.

" It might've taken me quite the year to figure out just when, but just because I can kiss you doesn't mean you're not my best friend anymore. I'll still gladly prank you." he said and that made Hazel's heart soar because in all honestly, Joe felt like one of her best friends. 

Catherine and Lizzie would always be her best friends, but they were sisters now, more than anything. Joe would always be one of her best friends, more than anything. He understood her more than others did. He knew how to make her laugh, feel better, he always listened and even when the two weren't side by side, they had each other's backs. 

She just got to kiss his little face now.

" And I will so gladly prank you, Joe Liebgott." she said and Joe chuckled. 

" C'mon, my mom's probably got the Kopytka waiting," Hazel said, but Joe stopped her from getting up by taking her hand and pulling her back into his arms, closer to himself, where they were merely inches a part looking into each other's eyes.

" Thank you..." Joe said," for bringing me here, to your home, your family. Just to see it all." Hazel softly smiled, cupping his cheek and softly brushing his soft skin. 

" Thank you for coming," she said with a joking twinge and it made Joe chuckle before the two softly kissed each other. 

Joe's lips tasted like honey, Hazel thought, and it only made her melt more. 

Pulling back from the gentle kiss, Hazel let out a shaky breath, because honestly it felt like her breath had been taken from her. Joe always seemed to do that to her. Hazel watched his eyes. He was smirking.

" And who knew that getting you back into your home town, that adorable slightly Southern accent would come out of you." Joe said and Hazel blushed smacking his arm.

" I'll hit you with that pillow again, Joseph." she said softly and Joe smirked.

" Is that a challenge?" Joe said, a glint in his eyes.

" Quite possibly." Hazel answered.

" Tonight, after dinner, it's pillow fight time." Joe said and Hazel giggled at his goofiness," I don't think you'll be laughing for long." But it just made Hazel giggle more. 

" Fine, then I suggest you eat your fill with these two meals and prepare yourself," she said, slowly shuffling back from him and the bed to her feet, a smirk, one that he had never seen before on her face, " I don't think you'll be ready." 

And with that she turned and left the room with even a little wink, like back in Aldbourne.

" Oh, you're on Parker," he called racing after her out of the room. 

The childhood room heard the gentle laughs from the 2 as they moved out of the room. 

And for a moment, Hazel's childhood finally felt proud of the young girl that had cried so many nights in this room.

She was finally free. 

✰✰✰

_AHHH!!! i am B A C K with postwar finally! and just for a lil update - it'll be coming out in 2 chapter spams at the moment, just because i want to relish postwar and not rush through it because honestly we need this joy after all the angst of war. i love these two with my whole heart and they deserve happiness :)) thank you all so much for reading and continually being apart of this journey with me, i appreciate it more than you can imagine!!! <3_

_and the quote at the beginning of the chapter sums of hazel and joe's relationship beautifully and makes me S O B <3_


	54. world

" Words are not enough to express the unconditional love that exists between a mother and a daughter."

_\- Caitlin Houston_

✰✰✰

Hazel and Joe came giggling from her bedroom, into the open back room which lead out towards the balcony that overlooked the mountains. 

Hazel's smile slowly fell and Joe softly let his gaze rest on her as she took a few tentative steps forward. 

Lena stood back at the kitchen counter, a few plates in her grasp as she watched Hazel slowly step out onto the balcony again fro the first time since 1942. 

Hazel slowly stepped over the threshold and suddenly felt a warmth touch her soul. Her hands gently lent against the wooden railing and for a moment she looked up and towards the Appalachian mountains - they weren't the Alps - they weren't European. 

They were American. 

She was home. 

She was here and she was home with Joe and her mother and Daisy. 

She was home.

Hazel felt her hands tremble slightly as tears threatened to fill her vision as suddenly each and every memory of war rushed her system. Biting back her lip, Hazel stared forward, her eyes welling with tears. 

How could one be so happy one second and then so ungodly emotional the next? 

It was because the last she had looked upon these mountains, she had been a different person. She hadn't known what a war could hold, she hadn't known what a war could take and take and take. She hadn't known any of it. She had been simply a young girl, with the want to change the world. Now, she stood a completely new and changed human being in this dark and scary and cruel world. She had seen what humans can do to each other simply because of the thirst for power. 

So brainwashed, so inhuman. 

Lena softly let the plates down onto the table and hurried forward past Joe and Daisy towards her daughter. Lena could sense when her daughter was upset, even without seeing her face. Lena softly approached Hazel watching as Hazel stood, like a young girl again, staring out at the mountains which glowed with light. Lena softly let a gentle smile blossom over her lips and placed a gentle hand on Hazel's shoulder. 

Hazel immediately softened at the touch of her mother. 

Hazel always knew when it was her mother's touch. A touch she hadn't felt in so long. Hazel let a small sob past her lips, as she looked down, shaking her head. 

And for Lena, her heart broke. She hadn't heard Hazel cry in 3 years - but she hadn't forgotten it, what her daughter had cried like before. And it didn't take long before Hazel had all but turned and let herself be curled up in her mother's arms. And Hazel broke, she shattered, she felt herself fall apart in a flood in her mother's arm - the touch which had been her only comfort for 13 years and had never stopped being her comfort in this horrid world. 

Joe watched with tear-filled eyes as mother and daughter held one another in their arms tightly together, as the sun made them a silhouette to the beautiful background. 

Hearing Hazel cry never failed to break his heart, but here now, in her home, watching her so open emotionally in front of Lena, her mother, after all this war, made him miss his own mother. 

Hazel felt so broken suddenly in her mother's arm, like she were the small child again, who didn't know her way in the world yet, or didn't even know herself - who was too scared to even experience the world. And now she had seen it - and the world was a dark, big, scary place, but the world could also be so beautiful, so raw, so happy, so emotional. 

And with that came war. 

Each image, each memory, each vague image of war that flew through Hazel's mind made her heart ache. Because she remembered - that first day upon entry to Fort Bragg, where she didn't even know where life would soon lead. She remembered seeing the two most beautiful women sitting in their military uniforms, who would become her sisters.

It was Catherine and Lizzie. She remembered so vividly what it had been like seeing them there. And she remembered what it had been like to finally say good bye to them and the ache that was in her heart. They may be apart, but they were still sisters - nothing could possibly change that. They'd been through too much to even think of tethering the bond they held. 

And that's what hurt the most out of anything - her wound, any of the boys' wounds, her first day in combat - any of it. It hurt that she had to say goodbye to the two women she had ever trusted the most, who knew each and every little detail about Hazel there could be, who had welcomed Hazel with open arms, like the sisters they were. 

Who were now not by Hazel's side in this darkening world. 

The mountains were quiet. 

Hazel knew there were times where she needed to be sad, sadness was the only way to be happy again. 

You couldn't have happiness without sadness and sometimes it took a whole war to figure it out. Hazel hated that it took a full war to accept it all, but sadness and happiness went hand in hand - you couldn't have one without the other. 

But by the time her mother had prepared the Kopytka for lunch, Hazel felt better, she even had a smile on her face - sometimes you just needed to cry, especially when it was your mother's arms that held you there. 

And after lunch, the trio was talking nonstop about virtually everything - and by the time 3:00 pm rolled around, Lena knew why Hazel loved Joe as much as she did, and why Joe loved Hazel. Maybe it was the eyes, or the smiles, or the gentle loving touches they gave one another, or even the way they made one another laugh but to see a relationship where the two loved each other with each undying breath of their hearts, it made Lena smile. 

She had witnessed her own relationship fall because Hazel's father had not given his heart to anyone but himself - and it had broken them. 

But Hazel and Joe gave their hearts to one another and trusted the other to keep it, to hold it, to let it rest there safely. 

Lena watched Hazel tell a story from beside Joe, her eyes wide with wild fascination, an excited passion to her tone, her hands animatedly talking, a smile on her face, eyes aglow. And Lena saw the way Joe watched her as if she were the most precious work of art, his eyes never turning from her face, leaning closer and closer to her with a yearning passion. 

Lena felt her heart swell. She always wanted her daughter to be loved by a good man. Despite whatever Joe thought of himself, Lena knew Joseph Liebgott was a good man. He was a good man. Lena knew that. 

The sun was setting as Lena prepared dinner that night, the soft glow of the home reflecting out to where the sun slowly set right in front of the eyes of the cozy couple snuggled up in each other's arms.

Hazel rested in Joe's safe arms, listening like she always did to the gentle thrum of his heart as Daisy snoozed right at their feet. Almost half asleep, Hazel cuddled closer into his arms, inhaling the gentle pine and cologne scent of his collared shirt and the loosened tie, memorizing how soft his hand was wrapped around her body pulling her closer, wishing she could take snapshot after snapshot of this moment, so content and so happy curled into Joe's side. She wished she could stay like this forever simply just with Joe. 

Joe sat with a small smile on his face, sitting with the love of his life as the sun slowly set on the evening, suddenly envisioning a future where one day maybe there would be a little boy or girl curled with them, and they would be seeing a sunset over the bay, and maybe even a ring on both their fingers. Joe grinned to himself - he couldn't believe how happy he was with Hazel, simply just here with her. 

Lena softly stepped out onto the balcony and looked to her right briefly, a smile growing on her face as she saw Joe and Hazel there, Hazel nearly asleep on his chest, curled up like a child.

" She almost asleep?" Lena said with a gentle smile and Joe looked up with a smile at her, running his hand through her hair, soothing her wandering mind. 

" Almost," he said, with a small smile, briefly looking down at Hazel again as she let out a tiny snore. He smiled. Lena gently took to sitting in the vacant chair beside where the two were and gazed forward, letting the gentle breeze softly race through her hair, a calm smile upon her lips.

" You know, when she was younger, she curled up like that as well," Lena said and Joe glanced towards her softly. Lena smiled.

" In a world not meant for the gentle." Lena said, shaking her head with what could only be thought of as a wise smile, " Whenever something bad happened, in school, in this world, she would cuddle into my side as we watched embers on the fire burn. But that...that was when she was a child." Joe watched her.

" Now...." Lena said looking at Joe," she has you, Joseph. And I've never been happier to know you love my daughter. That you're the one that has her heart so deeply connected to your own." Joe felt tears well in his eyes watching the mother of the women he loved, speak such pure, truthful words - a mother wouldn't say that unless she meant it. She sounded just as if it were Hazel herself speaking, it poked at his poor little heart. They were both wise beyond their years and it only made Joe smile more.

" A mother always dreams of her daughter loving a good man, one who loves their daughter for who they are," Lena said looking over at Joe," and you're a good man, please always know that. You love my daughter so much, I can see it in your eyes. Always know that you are such a good man. And I know you are a good man, especially to her - just the way she watches you." Joe watched Lena with tear filled eyes.

" She knows what a bad man is like," Lena said," she knew what her father was like. But with you, she knows what a good man is like, and I can't thank you enough for showing her there's still good in this dark world." Joe sniffled, as a tear crawled down his cheek, letting out a shaky sigh and nodding. Lena sniffled softly and gently leaned forward to brush hair over her daughter's ear. Lena let out a shaky laugh. 

" She loves you so much, Joe." Lena said, watching as Hazel slowly let her head snuggle closer into Joe's side. Joe let his lip shake for a moment and then smiled, looking down at Hazel. Lena softly leaned back and looked at Joe.

" And, if you love her like you do and ever look at a wedding ring and want to marry her, you have my blessing. I know you two won't be staying around for long, but if it ever happens, I don't want you to have to bother - you already have it." Lena said softly and Joe watched her with shining eyes.

" Thank you, Lena." Joe said as suddenly his emotions clawed at his softly tightening throat. Lena smiled and then gently looked at Hazel, asleep against him before smiling.

" You were in all her letters," Lena said and Joe watched her. Lena nodded.

" Let me get them, I saved them all." Lena said standing to her feet to move into the home. She came back with a pile of letters, 2 piles, shoved into her arms, so many, each signed with Hazel's messy signature. Lena softly placed them down by her side as she slowly settled into the chair again.

" It's odd, Mom. To look at someone and just know they're your best friend. Who just really knows you and gets you? No one has ever understood me as Joe has. And his eyes are never judgmental, they don't try to look at me and see what they can break first. They're eyes that actually care about what's in front of them. I wish more eyes were like Joe's. That deep, dark, brown color - eyes that actually cared. I feel the world would be a nicer place." Lena read before glancing at Joe. Joe smiled softly, his gaze gently resting for a brief moment on Hazel before looking up again. Lena slowly picked up another letter.

" Joe tried convincing me again that milk chocolate was better than dark chocolate," Lena read and Joe gently chuckled as Lena smirked," I of course won, as usual, but Joe's just like that. I guess maybe seeing me happy these days is better than seeing me sad. Normandy really messed with my head, just everything that entailed it, I guess. Seeing people get evacuated, injured, wounded, seeing people die - it's just a lot. But Joe was there, and it's been comforting to have him there with me. Knowing I'm not as alone in this world as I thought I was." Lena glanced at Joe, who's eyes were at a soft gaze, watching letter after letter appear.

" You know he let's me talk about the stars?" Lena said and Lena glanced at Joe, a real genuine smile spreading across his face, " And he actually appreciates all those random facts I know! Can you believe it? I swear I could've talked about how fluffy marshmallows could get and he'd still listen. Dare I say, it's adorable, Mom?" Joe let out a tiny chuckle as Lena grinned. 

" Joe brought me flowers again - the same ones. I just wasn't sick this time! But to even know he still brought me flowers, even if it were just for my birthday, it's just, Mom, I feel so loved and appreciated." Lena read and Joe couldn't help but let his gaze rest on Hazel again, as Lena continued reading," And they were YELLOW, mom! YELLOW! I didn't even think he knew I loved yellow, but they were YELLOW. Y-E-L-L-O-W." Lena and Joe chuckled meeting gazes.

" Oh my favorite," Lena said as she picked up another, " Pardon my french, mom, but goddamn who knew that a guy wearing your bracelet was one of the cutest things in this entire universe. And like, I know, it's my best friend. But my best friend happens to be _THE_ Joe Liebgott, the person I'd least suspect to wear a fairly dainty bracelet on his wrist, but here we are. And the thing is, he wears it as if it were gold - which it is, if you think about it, but it's like a keepsake. It's been a month and he still wears it. Can you believe it? And he makes it look better than anything I could wear it with, you know, with dirt on his face, covering his dimples, or the sweat along his forehead - but that's besides the point." Joe chuckled.

" Still here." he said, holding up his wrist that wasn't occupied with holding Hazel close. Lena smiled like a proud mother and leaned forward.

" You know, I think by this point I realized my daughter was in love," Lena said and she pulled open another letter. Joe watched her curiously.

" She never lets anyone wear anything of hers," Lena said, " you'd be the first." Joe chuckled gently and didn't fail to rub Hazel's arm affectionately with a gentle sigh.

" Mother - how was I supposed to be the one to figure out guys like it when you hug them?! Was I supposed to just magically, unbeknownst to be, grasp this sort information?" Lena read and Joe couldn't help but break out into laughter, but hold himself as to not wake Hazel, " When I tell you that hugging gives me such a rush of serotonin like I'm not kidding. I knew I wasn't a huge fan of hugs as a kid, but like hugging Cath or Lizzie or JOE?! Especially Joe. It's just, well, I like hugging." Joe chuckled at her goofiness as Lena pulled up another letter.

" His hair is so ungodly soft, Mom, please, tell me how am I supposed to tell myself not to just run my fingers through my hair when I hug him?" Lena read and then burst out laughing as Joe couldn't help but let his cheeks heat up a bit, " Whatever. I mean, at some point I have to learn self-control right?" Joe chuckled, shaking his head. 

" You're silly," he whispered softly to Hazel, a smirk dawning on his face. Lena gently smiled and then collected the letters together.

" I have to finish up dinner, but feel free to read them, you're nearly in all the ones from October 1943 and on." Lena said handing over the letters to Joe.

" Thank you," Joe said and Lena smiled watching her daughter cuddle closer. A soft sigh escaped her lips. her daughter was so happy. And Lena was too. Joe gently held a letter up in the soft light of the setting sun and found where Lena was talking about. Hazel really didn't fail to mention his name in every letter.

_Joe took me to Paris, Mom. And maybe for the first time in this war, I thought that life wouldn't be so bad after it. After seeing all the hatred the world had to offer, i finally believed that maybe war could lead to better things on the other side. And in Paris, I told Joe about my past, about father, about what he'd done and what had happened. And Joe...he listened. To every word I said and then he called me strong. He told me I was one of the strongest women he knew. I never thought I'd hear the from anyone's mouth, ever. I mean you, Cath and Lizzie have told me before, but with Joe, it's different - not just that he's a man, or someone who is my best friend, but because it's just as genuine as your own. Joe's just....he makes me feel something again._

Joe softly let the paper drop from his gaze as he stared forward.

" He makes me feel something again." he whispered softly in the breeze. He remembered Paris with Hazel as if it were yesterday. Hazel made him feel something again too. Joe slowly pulled up another letter and began reading. _  
_

_He has a nice singing voice you know. He came upon me singing that little song you always sing - Edelweiss and he then began singing as well - Amapola. He's got a really nice voice, soft, raspy. Soulful. I guess that's just another reason why I love him - he can be so goofy around me, yet so sweet and pure. Sometimes I feel like it's a dream that he possibly may love me back. Love is a nice feeling, a good feeling. I just hope this time it stays._

Joe softly lent back, looking up towards the sky which was slowly filling with stars, a stupid grin on his face. He shook his head and looked back at the letter in his grasp. 

Damn, he loved her. 

More than anything in this world. 

She was his world. 

Joe grinned. 

✰✰✰

_AHHHHHH!!! this was honestly such an emotional, yet adorable chapter - joe and lena bonding gives me life AH!! i love it truly and i hope you all do too!_

_once again i'm posting in two chapter increments simply because i don't want to rush my way through postwar :) thank you all again for reading, it means the world!_


	55. pierogis

" I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but if every single one had to happen to make sure I was right here, right now, to meet you, then I forgive myself for all of them." 

_\- K. Towne Jr._

✰✰✰

" It smells delicious, Mom." Hazel said with tired eyes as her and Joe entered the warm, glowing home again. Joe briefly glanced towards the fireplace mantle and saw a picture of a young, toothy grinning Hazel on it. Joe grinned as he followed Hazel to the table. 

" This looks amazing, Lena." Joe said and Lena smiled at the two.

" I try," she said and the trio chuckled. Hazel and Joe sat side by side across from Lena, who pulled the food open in front of her. 

" It took a bit longer if you couldn't tell, I haven't cooked for three people in a long time." Lena said, " Of course, I had the Willis' over sometimes and then Harry, then the Johnsons' and a few others, but never every night."

" It's Pierogis," Hazel said, " Mom has them homemade, filled with a bunch of fillings, bunch of toppings. They were my favorite as a kid - and of course with cheese."

" Well count me in," Joe said and both Lena and Hazel grinned looking at Joe. 

Scooping Pierogis out to everyone, Hazel decided to tell one of the funnier, more light-hearted stories from their time in Aldbourne, when both her and Joe almost missed PT because of something _HE_ supposedly did, even though Joe swore it was Hazel's fault. 

And that got Lena laughing, her booming, jolly laugh. 

And then there was a Bill Guanrnere story or two as well as a Lewis Nixon one and of course a George Luz one. And then a Lizzie and Tab rendition and then a Smokey Gordon one. 

And each time Lena saw the light glowing in both Joe and Hazel's eyes as they couldn't help but talk excitedly over one another, telling the story with more and more excitement each time, and then proceeding to laugh together, nearly wheezing, gripping onto each other, before Hazel let her cheeks turn pink. Lena thought it was hilarious and completely adorable.

" You know," Hazel said leaning forward, her arms crossed on the table curled up into her burning red face," one day, I was able to wake up Joe as if I were jump starting a car?" Joe let out a chuckle, squeezing his eyes shut as Lena laughed clapping her hands together.

" Jump start? Is that what were going to call it?" Joe asked Hazel as Hazel snickered shaking her head.

" What else would you call it?" Hazel asked through a gasping laugh.

" Not jump starting," Joe said before him and Hazel burst into laughs, " more like scaring me awake." Hazel giggled.

" It was funny, Mom, I promise and even Wild Bill got a picking or two in on the conversation." Hazel said and her mother chuckled. 

" So what's the story exactly?" Lena asked, sipping her wine with a curious smirk. Joe and Hazel looked at each other and then broke down in chuckles.

" I, of course, had woken up early and Joe and I always bunked side by side, and I saw Joe peacefully lying there," Hazel said.

" Of course," Joe muttered and Hazel giggled.

" And I went to mess and came back and saw he was in fact still peacefully lying there and was like, why not get him back for all the times he pulled at my braids, or kicked my feet and messed up our notes?" Hazel said and Lena chuckled.

" Precisely." Lena said with a chuckle.

" And so, I jumped him - jump start if you will - and scared him awake. Why I call it jump starting." Hazel said and Lena let out another bellowing laugh which sent Joe chuckling. 

" Even through a war and you kept up the childish antics," Lena said, " it's adorable." And she watched Joe proudly wrap his arm over Hazel's shoulder as she giggled and blushed madly. 

That night, Joe offered to do the dishes, and of course, slide a few leftovers to Daisy who sat patiently by his side - she already loved him. 

Lena and Hazel retreated outside to look towards the stars. 

And Hazel finally got to talk to her mother - about Joe and San Fransisco. 

Hazel knew she couldn't stay here - too much of her past remained in this home, so much that burdened her. Joe Liebgott and San Fransisco signaled a new start, a new life that wasn't war or her childhood, even if she loved her mother. It signaled a new beginning - something Hazel had wished for from the start.

" Mom?" Hazel asked her mother in the moonlight.

" Yes, love?" her mother asked her, turning to look towards her daughter who's shining eyes gazed up towards the stars above.

" Joe and I, back in Austria, we talked a lot about a life together after this war. Living in San Fransisco, getting married..." Hazel whispered, looking towards her mother, " it's a life I want." Lena softly met her daughter's eyes.

" And I know you just got me back, but the war changed me in more ways than I can imagine, too many ways and my past, it just, I know if I start fresh, real fresh, with no war, no dad, nothing, that maybe I can make a life for myself worth living." Hazel said softly. Lena softly smiled at her daughter and took her hand in her own, gently holding it there.

" You sound as if I would be mad." Lena said with a chuckle and Hazel managed a small smile on her lips as she looked at her mother.

" The minute you began talking about Joe Liebgott, I knew it was game over. I know you two are so in love, I know you are. No one looks at each other like that and simply calls each other best friends." Lena said and Hazel let out a soft giggle shaking her head.

" I just thought, since we literally just came back, that you'd be upset." Hazel said softly. Lena gave a familiar wise smile and squeezed Hazel's hand gently.

" Hazel you're my daughter, and I love you, I always have and always will, but you're 21! My baby girl is 21 and I know I can't keep you physically here forever," Lena said softly," but I'm also your mother and will always be there in your heart for you, you know this." Hazel felt tears well in her eyes. great, here she goes again.

" You and Joe, I know you love each other, you really, really do. I see it by just that look in both your eyes, the laughs, the hugs, I know you do, and I want you to be happy, both of you, it's all I ever wanted, especially after you've gone through a war, it's...you both deserve it, to be together, to be happy, to find peace." Lena said, " It's what makes me happy as a mother to see." Hazel let a small smile bubble to her lips and Lena smiled at her.

" C'mere, honey," Lena said and Hazel couldn't help but crawl into her mother's warm embrace, nuzzling her head against her mother's chest and letting out a soft sigh.

" Promise to tell me when you're expecting the first kid?" her mother said in that jolly joking tone.

" Mom!" squealed Hazel sitting up and looking at her, a blush spreading on her cheeks, scorching hot.

" I'm just kidding honey, you know I love you, just a joke or two," Lena said and Hazel giggled, " But I'm serious though." And Hazel just laughed hugging her mother closer. 

" You two would make the cutest kids," Lena said and Hazel giggled again, looking past her mother's shoulder into the home to see Joe cleaning up the dishes. Her heart skipped a beat at his soft peace behind the sink at the kitchen counter. A shy smile formed on her lips.

" Mom, I love him." Hazel whispered. And Lena could only squeezed her daughter tighter in the hug.

" I know you do," Lena whispered and Hazel's heart broke. Pulling back, she knew her mother was close to tears. 

" Mom..." Hazel whispered, softly putting her hand on her mother's cheek to wipe away her tears. Lena just shook her head with a smile.

" I've already told Joe this, but to see you so happy, it's all I've ever wanted for you," Lena whispered, " after everything for a man like Joe to love you, the love you have for one another, it's all a mother could want. It just makes me happy to know." Hazel softly smiled and let a tear trail down her cheek.

" Thank you, Mom." Hazel whispered and Lena smiled softly.

" I'll always love you, but you're old enough now that this life is more than just our nights alone in the mountains. You and Joe deserve one another, I know it and I see it, and you going to San Fransisco, makes me the happiest mom in the world." Lena whispered, " I've always wanted happiness for you." And Hazel smiled, letting more tears trail down her cheeks.

" Thank you, Mom, truly, I love you." Hazel said and encircled her mother in another hug, trying to hold in the tears that threatened to bubble past her eyes and trembling lips.

" I always will," Hazel whispered and Lena closed her eyes to steady the wave of tears that wanted to explode. 

A mother's love meant more than anything in this world to Hazel - it always would. 

And Hazel would always love her mother - who never failed to provide for Hazel through all the hardship, feeding her when she couldn't feed herself, giving her clothes when she couldn't afford water, anything a mother would do for her child.

" You'll always be my baby girl," Lena whispered, " but you'll always be my strong, young woman." 

" Thanks, Mom." Hazel said with a soft giggle.

" Now, remember to send me Mrs. Liebgott's address so we can start planning the wedding," Lena said and Hazel shot back from her mother blushing.

" Mom!" Hazel squealed and Lena chuckled again.

" You know I'm kidding!" Lena said, " My, my, you're cheeks are scorching."

" They always do that when I get embarrassed." Hazel said and Lena smiled, " But I will I promise." Lena grinned at her daughter. 

A mother's love was boundless. 

That night, Hazel lay cuddled into Joe's side in her bedroom, in the soft moonlight that streamed in from the open window, the sweet smell of the night breeze running in, the trees rustling their leaves outside, and the footsteps of her mother in her room, moving around as she did her daily praying ritual before bed. 

Hazel had interlaced her tiny fingers with Joe's and now was gently playing with them, a small smile on her face. Joe couldn't keep the soft smirk on his face from disappearing even in the darkness. 

To finally be at a place he could consider home, with the love of his life curled into his side, her presence calming enough to keep his emotions at bay, and his heart calm, it was all he could ever want.

" Hey, Joe?" Hazel whispered softly in the darkness, her head cuddled right into his chest, her soft sighs against him. 

" Hm?" he said softly, running his hand softly through her hair, moving it from her eyes which now made the effort to look into his own.

" San Fransisco, when can we go?" she asked him and his eyes widened. A smirk grew on his features.

" Whenever you'd like," Joe whispered, " my mom always has the house set nice, and they already know all about you." Hazel blushed and looked up at him.

" Please tell me you told them good things and not that I snore or drool in my sleep." Hazel said with a giggle and Joe snickered.

" They were at the top of the list." Joe said and Hazel giggled, slapping his arm gently, her eyes shining as she watched his. 

Even in the moonlight he looked so ungodly handsome, with his messy hair, tired eyes, and soft gaze. 

God, he was so handsome and Hazel wondered how she even deserved someone like Joseph David Liebgott in her life. 

Hazel softly reached up and cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing across his feather light skin. Joe's hand softly came up to hold her hand in his own and she smiled at the warmth. And in that moment, it was just the two of them, watching one another and only each other. She finally didn't feel hopeless, she felt at home, and not just in the house, but with Joe right beside her, gazing at her with those beautiful brown eyes, as if she were the most fragile thing in the whole entire world. 

Hazel softly placed a kiss on his lips, and immediately the two melted into each other's embraces, a warm, comforting embrace that Hazel didn't ever want to leave. Joe deepened the kiss further and Hazels' back gently hit the mattress, as her hands moved up towards his hair, pulling him closer and closer to her, like an ache in her chest, yearning for more. Pulling back, Joe looked down at her blushing under the moonlight, her lips slightly swollen by now and her eyes wide staring right up at him.

" I'm still getting used to that." she mumbled out softly, her heart racing as she looked up at Joe. Joe softly pushed the hair from her eyes and behind her ear before grinning at her. 

" Even after almost 3 months?" he asked her. Hazel nodded, blushing further.

" Maybe if you kissed me again....I'll get more used to it." Hazel whispered and Joe felt the widest smirk spread on his lips as Hazel only could blush further - even under the moonlight Joe could see her adorable blush.

" I like the way you think, Hazel Parker." Joe whispered as his lips inched closer to hers, " I always have." 

And with that, Joe pressed the deepest kiss onto her lips as the moonlight slowly faded.

✰✰✰

_AH! i don't know how many times i'll end my chapter with 'AH' but this is one of those cases for this smol lil duo that i adore with all my heart, truly writing these two has been one of the most fun things about this book. AND LENA AHHH i'm so happy to finally be writing her in this element, she is such a strong, independent mother, she's so wonderful <3 thank you all for reading and enjoying postwar!!_


	56. morning

_" The real love is the one that makes you a better person. Without changing you into someone different than yourself."_

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

When Hazel opened her eyes the next morning, her lips were sore. But then she smiled softly to herself, scrunching up her nose a bit as she giggled to herself. 

Joe. 

His arm was wrapped around her waist, holding her gently against his shallow breathing chest, and she felt so warm in his embrace, completely cuddled up against him. Hazel smiled. 

Hazel stared forward towards the wooden floor, where the sunlight streamed down onto the wooden planks and the various potted plants that were scattered in the corner around the closet. The sweet smell of the mountain air slowly filtered in through the open window and she even heard a few birds tweeting outside, and a few quiet chirps of the early morning crickets. It was a peaceful sound that made her smile more. 

This was all she had wanted - what she had wanted ever since Joe and her had truly confessed their hidden feelings.

To wake up on a beautiful morning, snuggled into his arms together in a warm comforter without seemingly a care in the world. 

And for once, there were no nightmares in her sleep, no images of war that horrified her, no feeling of the wound in her abdomen, no feeling of waking up and wanting to cry - none of it. Being here with Joe finally made her feel safe in her sleep - in reality.

Hazel remembered Paris - the night where a single conversation changed their entire relationship. Hazel hadn't believed it was possible that a single conversation could do something like that, but it had changed everything. It was more than the joking, Joe telling Hazel he adored it, her story about he father - all of it.

It was the fact Joe Liebgott had sat there and watched her and simply just listened to her. He didn't judge, he didn't make fun of her, he didn't degrade her - he sat and listened to each and every word and picked up on each and every emotion that poured from her system. Hazel felt that Joe knew her to her core. 

And that was an even more powerful feeling than what love was. Hazel felt holding that with Joe was more special than anything in the world. 

Hazel felt Joe shift a bit behind her as the grip he had around her waist tightened a bit and she felt his nose tickling her soft skin against her neck, making her let out a giggle, turning her head towards Joe with shining eyes. His own sleepy eyes looked back towards her, a lazy smirk on his lips, those two dimples making their appearance and his hair stuck up in too many directions to account for.

" Morning," he mumbled, his voice gruff, making her cheeks flame. She forgot how much she loved his morning voice that it made her heart skip a beat, sending her smiling. 

She still couldn't believe this was all real, that she had just woken up beside Joe Liebgott in a warm and comfy bed.

" Good morning," she whispered gently, her voice gentle and so pure in the morning. It made Joe smile lazily at her. 

" Can I tel you something?" Hazel whispered softly, her eyes shining.

" Of course," Joe whispered, pushing hair behind her ear as she giggled a bit.

" You look cute when you wake up in the morning." Hazel said and her face went bright pink in a nervous way - a shy way.

" I look cute, I think you look cuter." Joe said and Hazel giggled as Joe smirked at her.

" But if I do say so myself I am pretty cute." Joe said and Hazel let out a giggle, squeezing her eyes shut as she shook her head. Meeting his gaze again she couldn't help but smile up at him.

" Will life be like this? In San Fransisco?" she whispered to him.

" Yes," Joe whispered, slowly leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead before looking right into her eyes, " and we'll be able to go on a real date, and we can go dancing - I'll show you the bridge, all of it. Just you and I." Hazel's smile only grew.

" It's all I want." she whispered.

" And I promise to give it to you." he whispered back and she smiled. 

" I love you, Joe." she said, watching that dorky little smirk rise on his face again.

" Holy shit, I love you." Joe whispered and Hazel let out a shy giggle, " I do, I really do. You deserve to be told you're loved, Hazel. Everyday." Hazel watched him with shining eyes. 

" Joe..." 

But the look Joe gave Hazel made her voice catch in her throat and a smile spread across her face. Joe softly pressed his forehead to hers, their eyes gently shut - and for that moment, it was just the two of them in each other's arms, listening to nothing but the birds and the crickets, feeling the warm sun filter in through the open windows and a gentle breeze brush over their heads. Hazel wished that if there were ever those few moments you could stay in forever, this would be closest to the top, sitting here with Joe, just being right here with him.

" You ever wish you could stay in moments forever?" she whispered softly. 

" With you? Always." And Hazel felt her heart race - because Joe finally made her feel things, other than the pain and grief of a love that just wasn't meant to be. With Joe loved seemed more than possible, it seemed worth every bit of it.

" Hey, Joe?" Hazel asked as Joe softly watched her, right in front of her face.

" Hm?" he hummed gently, softly.

" Sometimes I miss war." she whispered softly, her heart breaking at the statement, her eyes boring into his, filled with an evident pain, " Not war-war, but being with all the guys, that part of war, being with Catherine and Lizzie - I"m going to miss that." Joe softly watched her in the soft morning light.

" Me too," Joe said softly. Hazel frowned a bit, softly meeting his gaze, glowing against the beige pillow. 

The two watched each other softly that morning, a silent conversation passing from eye to eye - they didn't need words co communicate what they were each feeling about this war and the final end to it all - even a month later. It was hard sometimes and it sucked. Getting out of a routine you were breed to moving with. It would be hard and continue to be hard. 

When the two arrived out to the large backroom, Lena was already working around the kitchen, making pancakes, bacon, eggs, and coffee.

" Hey, you two." Lena called as Daisy lay by her feet, a doggy smile on her face, " Sleep well?" Hazel turned bright red as Joe smirked.

" Mom." muttered Hazel, her cheeks blooming red. Lena chuckled as Joe couldn't help but press a soft kiss to Hazel's forehead as she giggled softly shaking her head.

" Coffee?" Lena asked.

" Would you like a cup?" Hazel asked Joe softly with sleepy eyes.

" Yeah, but hey you go sit down I can get it." Joe said and Hazel smiled softly as her mother watched with warm and loving eyes. 

" Thanks, Joe." she said as Daisy came padding across the kitchen towards Hazel as she moved out towards the table. Lena looked towards Hazel as Hazel began baby-talking Daisy and smiled before Joe stopped by her side and began pouring cups of coffee.

" How is she?" Lena softly asked Joe. Joe glanced at her and then looked towards where Hazel sat at the table. Joe smiled.

" She's happy," Joe said, " happier than I've ever seen her before." Lena smiled at him.

" Thank you for being a part of her life," Lena said as she flipped a pancake, " I know she's happier." And Joe watched as Lena turned and looked towards her daughter again, watching Hazel let out a joyful giggle as Daisy licked her face. Joe's heart soared right up towards God it seemed - he never imagined he could feel this way, but he did and he hoped it never faded. Joe could see just how powerful of a bond the mother and daughter had even after 3 years apart. Joe grinned. 

" Would you care for some coffee?" Joe asked her and Lena glanced towards him.

" I actually had some before you two were awake, but count me in for a 3rd cup." she said and Joe chuckled. Pouring the 3 cups of coffee, Joe carefully added all the fixings inside them before sliding Lena's cup towards her.

" Thank you," Lena said and Joe nodded with a grin. Lena glanced towards Hazel who sat looking out the window suddenly, her gaze a bit off-centered, glazed off, unfocused. Lena let out a soft sigh.

" It happens sometimes, the memories." Joe whispered as he moved past her towards Hazel the cups of coffee in his grasp. Lena watched Joe gently sit down the coffee before sliding in beside Hazel and placing a hand to her shoulder. Hazel seemed to snap out of it and within minutes, she was smiling again and for a moment everything was okay. 

And within a few days, San Fransisco quickly did become that reality that the two had dreamed of. With train tickets straight across the country to San Fransisco, the reality was coming closer and closer. 

Hazel, even though she had been gone for three years stepped in her room for the last time as any semblance of that young child. She knew whenever she were to return, she'd be older - she wouldn't be much of a child anymore, and she might even be married or have a child. 

Hazel stood in the room, hugging her arms around her chest as she let her eyes wander around the edges of her childhood room. She remembered the long nights of having to hear her father spit nasty words at her mother, drunk and a sweaty mess, with glasses breaking and shattering. She remembered sitting in the corner, hands to her ears, praying for it all to just stop. Hazel squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

" That's the past..." Hazel whispered, hugging herself tighter, "it's the past, it's the past." Hazel softly let out a gentle sigh and let her soft eyes roam the room. 

" You packed up?" Hazel heard her mother ask, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Hazel looked back over her shoulder towards her and then nodded with a small smile.

" Yeah." Hazel whispered, before looking back at the room, " I'll miss this room." Lena smiled and rubbed her daughter's shoulder. 

A silent touch and conversation passed between the two - Hazel had memories of her and her mother lying in bed together at night simply just crying. That had to be some of the lowest points of Hazel's life. But here, right now, Hazel knew that was in the past, both of their pasts, it could only be downhill from here.

" Joe's outside, everything's been packed." Lena said and Hazel nodded softly nibbling on her bottom lip. 

Hazel looked at her mother and before she knew it the two were holding each other in a warm hug, a tight and loving hug, just the two of them, mother and daughter. They didn't need to say a word as the two held onto one another. Hazel was leaving - but this time for a new life, not for war. That settled Lena's nerves. 

Walking outside, the two women found Joe crouched in his uniform by Daisy. Hazel felt her heart warm as Joe glanced over his shoulder towards them and smiled. 

And with that smile, she knew she was ready, there was no fear inside her of moving to San Fransisco, and leaving her mother again. This was a new beginning, one Hazel had always wished to start. 

She knew she needed this - she felt free. 

✰✰✰

_hey!! i'm back with another update - this chapter is shorter than the next for various reasons so get ready for A LONG ONE!!! YAY!!!_

_and if you didn't see my announcement i posted on my page, updates will have to grow more spread out as i have school quickly approaching and 3 AP classes - yay me! LOL and so the stress will be top notch and writing will be my only escape at this point :) always know that i will be dutifully writing, just the updates will be spread out more for my own sanity HAHA! thanks!!_

_and i have the rest of this book planned out - ie postwar! i'll share my plans with you on it if you'd like!_

_i am finishing out regular postwar and then i will be doing a series of one shots to feature couples like hazel + joe, catherine + george and lizzie + talbert, and then each child will get a one shot - a fairly long one at that! i don't want to stretch on postwar for longer than necessary and then make it pointless, but i want to hit some important parts as well :) but that's what it is lining up to look like!!! and possibly a lil epilogue :)_

_thanks again everyone - it means the world!_


	57. san francisco

" The love in our family flows strong and deep, leaving us memories to treasure and keep."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

_**San Francisco, California - October 4th, 1945** _

Hazel's wide blue eyes gazed up at the beautiful family home of Ashbury Heights, San Fransisco - with it's wide sidings, little windows aglow in the late afternoon light, candles set in each, an American flag hanging out front of the home, a few plants up the side of the home, a hopscotch drawing faded from rain, and a few chairs on the front porch.

" Joe, it's beautiful." Hazel whispered as she sat forward, letting her gaze soak up the front of the home. Joe softly leaned in beside her, by her shoulder and smiled.

" It's home," he said and Hazel grinned, softly glancing his way, " C'mon." Hazel softly leaned forward to open the door as the two soldiers clambered out onto the street together, standing side by side looking up at the beautiful home. Definitely one that had been taken care of and loved. It made Hazel smile softly as her eyes shone brightly.

" Here, I'll take it." Joe said going to help the taxi driver pull the suitcase from the trunk.

" Oh no, don't even bother, you two fought a war the least I could do is take your bags, especially with a Virago like you." the taxi driver said with a small smile and a nod to Hazel, as Hazel stood gently on the quiet sidewalk.

" You don't care that Viragos are women?" Hazel asked him quietly - she had expected a different reaction compared to that. The taxi driver grinned.

" You fought for our country - it doesn't matter age, race, gender, you fought for our flag - people should realize that's all that matters." the taxi driver said and Hazel softly smiled at him before sending her eyes to Joe who watched her with even gentler eyes. Adoration. He tended to look at her more like that now than ever.

" You two head up to the house, I've got this." the taxi driver said fusing a bit, making a show of swatting his hands in the general direction of where the house was. Joe and Hazel smiled softly, before Joe turned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they approached the home. They took it slowly up the steps and Hazel even took time to notice all the little intricacies of the home and its architecture. The door was made of pure oak, and the handle shined a gentle golden - it all looked freshly cleaned. Hazel let out a soft breath and Joe squeezed her shoulders gently.

" They'll love you, I promise. I didn't say that I was like my momma for nothing - she loves the quiet types." Joe said and Hazel felt the tops of her cheeks go pink for a minute, which Joe of course, loved with all his heart. 

Joe softly knocked against the door as the taxi driver dropped the bags at their feet and refused the cash tip - they were soldiers - they had paid enough of the price. Hazel heard footsteps on the opposite side of the door and she watched the golden handle slowly turn, before swinging open. 

And on the other side, stood a woman, an inch or two taller than Hazel, dark brown almost black hair pulled back into a low, messy bun with a few strands on her strained and slightly wrinkled cheeks. And the eyes - they were as if they were Joe's - dark, deep brown, full of love and strength.

" Joseph?" the woman whispered and Hazel softly cast her gaze up to Joe, who couldn't help but break as he slowly fell into his mother's arms. Hazel had to bite back her lip and control the swell of tears that filled her eyes as she watched Joe hug his mother with so much love, such a powerful motherly love unlike anything else. 

And his mother held him in that warm grasp, holding her son, back from war. Hazel's vision grew blurry as she forced herself not to cry at the sight. Joe slowly pulled back from his mom, who softly cupped his cheek and looked up at him with so much love.

" You're back." she whispered and Joe nodded.

" For good, Mom." he said softly and his mother smiled, before her warm gaze grew even warmer looking at Hazel.

" Aren't you just the most precious thing." she said as she stepped forward, " You must be Hazel, please, call me Mary." Hazel softly grinned at her and Mary smiled.

" It's nice to meet you, Mary." Hazel said with a soft grin and Mary grinned.

" You truly are adorable, come here, come here." she said and Hazel didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around Mary as Mary did the same, the two women hugging and holding onto one another for too many inexpiable reasons. 

For a mother, it was for a woman like Hazel to love her son and protect him through a war. 

For Hazel, it was for a mother to care for him as much as she did, for making him who he was. Mary softly pulled back and gently cupped Hazel's face, as if she were a proud mother.

" You are just such a beautiful young woman, look at those eyes." Mary said and Hazel softly smiled at her. Hazel could see Joe out of the corner of her eye watching the two women he loved the most stand right in front of him. 

" You have to come inside, I started on dinner not too long ago, and you know your father and his dinner. And you have to meet everyone, they'll love you." Mary said and Hazel smiled as Mary looked between her son and Hazel, " Stephen will get the bags, where ever that boy is, lord have mercy on my soul. I need it." And Hazel and Joe chuckled as Mary laughed.

" C'mon, c'mon," she said leading the two inside the sweet smelling home with the beautiful oak staircase by the entrance. Mary leaned against the staircase where a chandelier was aglow above it.

" Stephen Harold Liebgott!" Mary yelled up the stairs. Hazel and Joe heard a crash from upstairs, signaling Mary and her loud voice had clearly just scared the soul out of the person upstairs.

" Yes, mother!" the voice called back, slightly sarcastic.

Oh boy was it Joe in teenage form.

" I have a surprise for you!" Mary called with a slight smirk back to the two. Joe got that smirk from his mom, Hazel could just tell. 

" Please if you think chocolate will bribe me-" the voice appeared at the top of the stairs, looking exhausted and not too in the mood for anything, cutting off almost immediately. Hazel watched Stephen - it was like Joe, only a few years younger, and more youthful.

" Joe!" Stephen yelled, tearing down the stairs and straight into his brothers arms, wrapping his big brother in a tight hug and chuckling the entire time as Joe let out a boyish chuckle holding his brother tightly in his grasp. Hazel couldn't help but feel a shy smile grow on her lips as she glanced towards Mary who stood grinning.

" Boys," she said and Hazel chuckled.

" Dude," Stephen said pulling back, " you didn't tell me you got a girlfriend." Stephen slapped Joe's arm as Joe slapped his back.

" Do you even read the letters I send Mom and Dad? I clearly put your name on there too." Joe complained back as Stephen grumbled. Then he turned to Hazel, and his eyes lit up.

" Hazel!" he said and he couldn't help but wrap her in a warm hug, similar to Joe's in many aspects. Stephen pulled back.

" It's so nice to finally meet you, I was wondering who Hazel was when Mom read the most recent letter." Stephen said and Hazel laughed lightly.

" That's me," she said.

" No way! Are you a Virago?"

" Yep, since '42." she said and his eyes widened.

" Dude you're so badass." Stephen said and Mary smacked him.

" Stephen Harold Liebgott, no cursing in my household or I'll whoop you to Alcatraz." his mother bit at him.

" Oh, I'm so scared." Stephen mocked, before looking at the two, " real scared." Joe and Hazel chuckled as Mary just shook her head.

" C'mon you two, let's get you settled, I'm sure the girls will be happy to see you two and of course Dad." Mary said leading the two into the home. 

" If I had more common sense maybe I'd be able to explain where all of these paintings come from but sadly that gene skipped my generation." Stephen said with a winning smirk to Hazel as Joe rolled his eyes.

" Clearly," muttered Joe as Hazel just chuckled, softly taking her hand in his.

" Well take that common sense and go bring in their bags, God won't do it himself." Mary said, directing Stephen back towards the door.

" But Mom-"

" But Stephen..." her mother whined back, pointing a finger to the door.

" Alright, alright." Stephen said as Hazel just chuckled softly to herself, glancing towards Joe who snickered.

" Carbon copy was right," Hazel said as Joe laughed lightly as they moved past the office and dining room towards where the kitchen and living space was. 

And when they entered the living space, it seemed it was where everyone else was. And almost immediately the 4 girls and the person Hazel assumed was Joe's father all jumped up in complete and utter surprise, calling out to both of them, which surprised Hazel. And to Hazel's surprise she was almost immediately being hugged which made her smile.

" You two are both here!" the girl who was hugging Hazel squealed before pulling back and looking at her, " And you are absolutely beautiful Hazel, oh my gosh!" Hazel smiled softly with a slight laugh as another girl hurried into view, hugging Hazel tightly, squealing.

" Ah! I'm so glad to finally meet you, I've been dying to." she squealed pulling back and squealing again.

" You squeal anymore, Barb and you'll become a pig." the first one said as 'Barb' groaned with a roll of her eyes. 

" Ignore her, I'm Barbara, but you can call me Barb, friends call me that." Barb said. Her eyes were a soft brown, almost a Hazel compared to Joe's darker ones, and her hair was his color as well, as it seemed everyone in the family wore similar smiles consistently on their lips.

" It's nice to meet you, I'm Hazel, but you're brother tends to call me Parker more often." Hazel said and the two girls squealed.

" Even your voice is adorable, Hazel, it's no wonder my brother fell for you." Barbara said.

" I'm Anna," Anna said with a bright smile - her eyes the same as Joe's, with the same colored hair as the rest of the family, two dimples in her cheeks, " and your voice has to be the cutest thing in the world."

" Aw, thank you." Hazel said, with a smile as the two girls grinned.

" It's no wonder Joe loves you, Hazel, really - his last entire letter was 5 pages about you, if you didn't know." Barbara said, " It's so nice to see Joe, just purely happy, even after this war. He was real angry before he left with it all, so seeing him home, with you, happy, it's all we want." Hazel smiled softly and then glanced towards Joe who was joking around with his dad and two other sisters, who kept glancing towards Hazel with even more loving eyes. Hazel grinned. 

" Dad! Dad! This is Hazel!" Barbara called as Anna shoved her shoulder.

" Could you say it any louder." Anna complained as Barbara poked out her tongue. 

" Hazel!" Joe's dad called, coming over to her, " Oh it is so nice to finally meet you, we've been hearing about you for so long!" Hazel let a wide grin spread across her face as Joe's father gently and carefully hugged her like she were a piece of glass. 

Joe's father, Joseph like his son, had to be one of the kindest souls Hazel had ever seen, with bright, glowing eyes, and a gentle touch and a calming presence. Just someone loved by everyone and who loved everyone back.

" It's so nice to finally meet you too." Hazel said and Joe's father pulled back with a smile on his older looking slightly rinkled face. 

" My, aren't you are such an innocent thing," her father said with a wise smile that reminded Hazel of her dziadek's and Hazel grinned. Hazel noticed another girl coming towards her with a wide smile on her face.

" It's nice to finally meet you, Hazel!" she said as she encircled Hazel in a warm hug, " I'm Mary."

" And I'm Elizabeth." the other said coming up with a similar smile, and bright, shining eyes as Mary pulled back. Hazel was immediately caught up in a hug by Elizabeth, which made Hazel think of Lizzie in that moment - Hazel missed her hugs. Elizabeth pulled back as Joe gently came forward to wrap an arm over Hazel's shoulder as she felt herself blush the slightest bit.

" Oh please tell me you two are going to get married and we can have adorable nieces and nephews!" pleaded Barbara, as Anna smacked her arm with a look, watching as both Hazel and Joe grinned, slight blushes splotched across both their faces. 

" Alright, alright, you don't have to embarrass them anymore, Hazel, dear, Joe, would you two like something to drink?" Joe's mother asked, entering from the kitchen.

" Water's fine, thank you." Hazel said.

" Yeah, I'll take some too, Mom." Joe said and Mary smiled.

" Alright, you two get settled," Mary said, " and please don't embarrass them further while I'm in the kitchen. " And the group burst into chuckles.

" C'mon we have plenty of seats, I've been dying to hear about you two." Elizabeth said, leading the two over to the couch, as a groan echoed from the hallway where Stephen had been.

" Lord, thank you for not breaking my back." he said as he stepped into the kitchen before moving into the family room with a sigh. Then he noticed everyone getting settled.

" Ooooh yay! It must be story time of how my brother managed a beautiful woman like this." Stephen said squeezing in beside his father who glared at him.

" Behave yourself, son." Joe's dad threatened him as Joe gave a look to Stephen who rolled his eyes. The sisters giggled together as Hazel felt Joe's grip around her shoulders give her a tight, gentle squeeze. 

Almost immediately it was the 4 sisters asking just about every question under the sun, but the one that popped up the most, thank god for the want to avoid mainly the war and conversations based on that, they were interested in Hazel and Joe and when they realized they loved each other. it was like listening to a bunch of lovesick teenagers - which it kinda was as Joe had once said.

" We know that the war isn't a good topic of discussion, no one wants to talk about war, but you two, just talk about you two because the war it's over and you two deserve to be happy." Barbara said sitting forward with a soft smile as the rest of the family members in the room smiled. 

" So....who fell first?" Anna said sitting up with an excited grin, her eyes glowing. Hazel let out a giggle, blushing madly before glancing up at Joe. And all the girls gasped.

" Joseph!" cried out Elizabeth, " It was you! You never fall first!" 

" STOP! REALLY! Joe you truly are a softie, I always knew you were!" Mary squealed as Hazel looked towards Joe who blushed furiously.

" I can't believe in my 17 years, this is one of the first times I've seen you blushing, Joe." Stephen said, before looking at his sisters, " Do it again." The group chuckled and Hazel let out a laugh as Joe's father let out a bellowing chuckle.

" I'm your father and I've never seen you blush, Joe." his father said as Joe just scratched his neck with a tiny chuckle which made Hazel's heart sore.

" Not everyday you meet someone like Hazel," Joe said and the 4 girls in the room practically died on the spot.

" And you're sentimental, Hazel what do you do to him?" Barbara said squealing with a soft sigh. Hazel let out a laugh as Joe could only blush further.

" I don't know," she answered and the 6 all laughed loudly. 

" Alright, alright, I did fall first," Joe said as his sisters sighed with joy.

" How did you know?"

" Let him finish his sentence."

" _HOW_ did you fall?"

" Children, please, let him speak. He comes back with the love of his life and is bombarded with questions, please for the love of Chirst breathe." their father said and she heard Mary's bellowing laugh from the kitchen which made Hazel giggle a bit. 

" Right, right, my turn first, because I am excited and we know I have no self-control," Barbara said.

" Yeah we know, Barb." Stephen muttered as Joe's Dad gave him a gentle slap on the arm. Yep, carbon-copy of Joe Liebgott. Hazel smiled.

" She's a bit of a hopeless romantic," Anna said and Barbara blushed, " Chasing after Robert Adler."

" Hey!" Barbara scoffed, " Leave me alone!" 

" Anna leave her alone." their father said and Anna smirked as Barbara scoffed shaking her head.

" It's okay," Hazel said, " loving people is what humans need in life, even in war, darkness, all of it, it's cute." Barbara softly smiled and felt her heart warm as Joe softly glanced down at Hazel beside him.

" Thank you, Hazel." Barbara said and Hazel nodded with a small smile.

" I always thought love was scary but once I met your brother, i didn't believe that anymore. I've always thought that all humans were capable of love in their own ways, I say go for it if you ever get the chance." Hazel said and Barbara felt her smile grow, as the room grew soft and quiet.

" You're wise beyond your years." Mary said with a gentle smile as Hazel looked towards her with a soft grin, " I admire that." Hazel blushed a bit and glanced towards Joe who was already looking at her. He always had too. 

And by dinner that night, the table was filled with each family member, laughs and joy and happiness and delicious food made by Mary, using Joe's grandmother's recipe for many things. The wine was delicious and Hazel even took it with a smile - she loved white wine more than she thought she would. And Hazel loved Joe's family. They all were funny in their own ways, but fiercely loyal and caring and Hazel seemed to get that they already loved her. 

Joe knew his family loved Hazel already just by the way with every starting of conversation, they made sure Hazel got a say. And his dad even loved her. All women in Joe's life in the past before the war, had made his father quiet at dinner, but now his dad couldn't stop talking and he laughed at everything Hazel said. It made Joe smile. And his sisters were practically obsessed because they knew Hazel was a female sniper AND a Virago. 

Anna had wanted to become a Virago when news broke, but Mary had mentioned how the war was over. That had gotten a good laugh in the room. Yeah Hazel loved the Liebgotts more than she could imagine. 

After dinner, Hazel had offered to help Mrs. Mary Liebgott with the dishes and Mary had smiled so wide and immediately shifted over to give her room by the sink with her as the rest of the Liebgotts trailed out to the family room. Hazel softly scrubbed against a plate until it was clean before passing it to Mary with a smile, who took it with a soft, motherly grin.

" You know, Hazel," Mary started as Hazel softly glanced up towards her, " I've never seen Joe as...happy as he's been, so loving, so caring. I mean of course, he's my son and I know just about every thing inside and out about him, but the way he is with you, I've never seen him like that before and it makes my heart warm to just see how much he loves you." Hazel blushed softly, a genuine smile sparking her lips lightly, as she shyly bent her head.

" He's just...through the war, I never knew how much I needed someone like him in my life, he just makes me so happy and I feel so loved around him." Hazel said gently, " I've always believed that he's a good man." Mary softly watched Hazel and smiled.

" You have such a good heart yourself." Mary said, gently placing a hand on Hazel's shoulder and squeezing it, " I know you make him happy, I know you do." Hazel smiled softly and gently let her hand place itself over Mary's.

" I'll always love him," Hazel whispered, " through a war, through all the darkness and pain we saw, I know I'll always love him." Mary watched Hazel and Hazel watched tears fill Mary's eyes.

" I've just always wanted him happy, after all he's been through as a child," Mary said, wiping at her eyes and fanning at her face, " and with you, he's happy, so happy and it makes me smile." Hazel softly smiled and placed down the cloth before taking Mary into a warm hug. 

" I love him for who he is," Hazel whispered, " and I know what it is to be loved for a simple idea of yourself, but Joe, I love him for who he is." Mary and Hazel slowly pulled back and Mary looked up at Hazel with soft eyes.

" Thank you for loving my baby boy." she whispered and Hazel smiled, biting back her shaking lip.

" He saved me more than once in that war." Hazel whispered, " And he made me feel loved when I didn't love myself, your son is one of the most incredible people I've ever met." Mary let a smile pass through her lips as she couldn't help but bring Hazel in for another warm and comforting hug.

" You already feel like my daughter-in-law." Mary said and Hazel let out a soft laugh into her shoulder which made Mary laugh. 

Pulling back the two women turned to see Joe standing there, leaned up against the post, arms crossed, a small smirk set on his lips with a gentle set of eyes, a relaxed fatigue coming over him. Hazel softly glanced at Mary before the two women looked back at Joe.

" Hi." Hazel said and Mary watched as Joe slowly stepped forward, the grin on his lips growing with each second he gazed at Hazel standing in his presence. She had never seen her son so in love, but Mary herself could tell how much the two loved each other. It made her heart so warm. 

" You haven't scared her yet have ya Mom?" Joe said wrapping an arm around Hazel's shoulders and couldn't help but press a kiss to Hazel's temple making Hazel blush deeply and Mary smack his arm.

" Joseph!" she said and Joe laughed as Hazel giggled.

" I told her you cursed me out in German, didn't know -"

" Joseph David Liebgott, I am still your mother and will send you to your room." Mary said as Joe just chuckled and shook his head. Mary then chuckled a soft laugh and shook her head.

" I've just been gushing over Hazel really, you truly are so pure, Hazel, dear." Mary said and Hazel smiled at her. 

" She is, isn't she?" Joe said, squeezing her shoulder. Mary smiled just looking at the two.

" So, any plans coming up?" Mary asked the two. Joe grinned.

" I can finally take Hazel on our first date that isn't in the middle of Europe." Joe said and Mary laughed lightly, making Hazel smile.

" And what about the home, that we talked about?" Hazel said softly, looking up at Joe with wide, wondrous eyes. Joe grinned down at her, holding himself from fully pressing his lips to hers right in front of his mother.

" And we want to move in together, here in San Fran, maybe even start a life." Joe said and Mary couldn't help but let out a squeal.

" Are you serious!!" she squealed out, putting her hands to her mouth as Hazel giggled softly.

" Yes, yes, mom, calm down, it's okay." Joe said as Mary couldn't stop.

" Oh don't you tell me to calm down my baby boy's all grown up!" she said as Joe couldn't fight the second shade of blush on his cheeks.

" So, where do you think you'll be looking?" Mary asked.

" Possibly over the Golden Gate, in Sausalito, or just around here, we want to stay here though," Joe said and Hazel grinned up at him.

" Maybe you could take your father with you, he's been around more times than I could count working with people on foreclosing homes, and I'm sure there's plenty of open homes everywhere." Mary said and the duo grinned, " You could even head out within the next few days, he's off from work this week and you know he's always happy to give a tour of homes, as well as where you can can save money." The duo chuckled.

" I'll ask him, sound good?" Joe asked Hazel and Hazel nodded against him with bright eyes. 

" Yes," she said with glowing eyes. 

A life with Joe. 

Months ago in Haguneau she remembered sitting there, a complete and utter emotional mess, with conflicted emotions of grief and complete utter pain, and the inability to believe she could make it out of this war alive, because all she wanted was a life after this, a good one, a life with Joe Liebgott. 

And now here she was and all she wished for it to never change from this - she wanted to be with Joe forever, even in death. 

It made her not fear death as much as she used to in war. 

✰✰✰

_this chapter made me SOFTTTTTTT I LOVED WRITING IT!!!! and felt is was much deserved especially after a war :) i can't thank you all enough for reading and enjoying the story, leaving comments and votes that just makes me smile, it means the world!!_


	58. nightmares

" True love is staying strong the good, the ugly and the bad."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Hazel was loving falling asleep next to Joe more and more - she had already loved it, but now each night she could cuddle comfortably into his side and fall asleep to the gentle beats of his heart or the rising and falling of his chest. 

Just the two of them in this quiet little room. 

Hazel let her eyes travel around Joe's childhood room in the darkness - she could imagine a teenage version of Joe, sitting in the corner reading his comic books, sitting at his desk, most definitely not going homework, or standing in his mirror before his 9th grade dance as he tied up his tie. She could see every inch of who Joe was in this room and it made her heart happy, like her heart were actually smiling. 

Hazel softly let out a sigh, cuddling Joe's shirt closer around her body before snuggling her head right into his warm side and letting herself fall asleep to the gentle thrum of his heart.

_" Hazel!"_ _  
_

_" Hazel!"_

_" Hazel!" She couldn't breathe, she couldn't. Her heart rate was abnormal too - each thump was louder than the last. And she couldn't feel anything. All she could see was a bright light above her, glowing down on top of her, getting brighter and brighter with each beat of her racing heart. The only thing she could feel was the stinging in her side, like she were being stabbed over and over, and the complete utter anguish and pain that accompanied it._

_Cries escaped her mouth as shells rained down above her, falling faster and harder with each pump of her heart until her screams had been swallowed up whole. And all she heard were those shells, falling around her as if it were casually just raining outside and she was in the middle unable to escape with the bleeding wound that felt like stabbing in her side._

_Blood rushed through her ears, spilling down to her arms, covering her fingertips in crimson blood, making them sweaty and sticky and frozen. She couldn't protect her wound anymore. With each agonizing step forward, her heart rate grew louder, just like before._

_And then she was screaming through the flying shells, begging for some sort of safety, an asylum, a home, full of hope, someone to take her from this nightmare of too many vulnerable memories that she never wished to touch again. But now they were spread like that blood all over her fingertips and it scared her. With each memory, her heart raced faster - and she couldn't control it, she couldn't stop it, nothing could. And finally she screamed._

_MAKE IT STOP!_

Hazel shot up in bed, cold sweat trailing down her face, the back of her neck covered in a thin layer of sweat and her entire body shaking. She was shaking everywhere, the tips of her fingers white. Red splotches in her palms. She had squeezed her hands too tight - blood. 

The crimson blood had been a reality. 

And she felt she couldn't breath again and suddenly she was grasping for something, for a safety net, something to steady her and hold her. 

That's when she felt vibration in her ear and someone wrapping her up in their arms. 

Her rock. 

Joe. 

Immediately Hazel latched onto him, ragged breaths escaping her lips, as she clung onto him, her sweaty form an absolute mess, her hair sticking straight down on her head, her palms sweaty, slightly bloody from their white-knuckle clench, and tears collecting in her eyes. 

She was shaking. 

She was shaking. 

She was shaking. 

All over. 

Everywhere. 

Twitches and flicks in her body making her twitch, as memories swirled like lava in her brain. Squeezing her eyes shut, she willed it to go away but jumping again against Joe, caused him to hold her tighter.

" Hazel, hey, it's okay, I'm right here." he whispered and Hazel let out a shaky breath, gripping onto him as tears filled her eyes.

" It's not real," she whispered, " right?" She couldn't swallow, her throat feeling clogged. She felt like she couldn't escape. She saw the time on the clock on the wall.

2:30 in the morning. She let out another shaky breath and shoved her head into his warm neck, softly taking in his calming, home-like scent to calm her racing mind and heart. He always made her calmer and just sitting right in his arms in his lap, was what she needed.

" Hazel?" Joe whispered and she shuttered against him.

" I thought it was real." she whispered pulling back, to press her hand to where the wound had previously been. She grimaced and immediately Joe looked down in the darkness to where Hazel placed her hand curled against his shoulder. 

There was no wound there, but the dull ache was a stark reminder of the fear the had encased her less than a year ago. 

Hazel let out a shaky breath.

" Hey," Joe whispered softly against her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead softly, " how about I run you a bath okay? Help you calm down, I'll sit with you." Hazel softly looked up at him.

" Really? For me?" she whispered looking up at him with tear filled eyes.

" Of course," Joe whispered, taking her hand in his and softly pressing a kiss to the top of her hand, " I know how scary those can be, and plus I know it's not comfortable trying to sleep again all sweaty. Alright?" Hazel nodded against him.

" Here," Joe said and carefully slid off the bed, before helping Hazel to her shaky legs. 

In the darkness, Hazel forced herself to steady her jello-like knees as Joe gently led her by the hand towards his bathroom connected to his bedroom. 

Flipping on the light, the warm glow slowly filled the bathroom and the warm shampoo scent hit her - from her shower that night. It brought a comfort to her entire system. Joe gently sat her down on the top of the toilet, on the lid, before crouching in front of her and looking up at her. She was still shaking a bit, and a few beads of sweat slowly made their way from the brow of her forehead towards her cheek.

" Let me start it for you, sit tight." he said, before turning and carefully pulling on the water to let it run. 

" Are you sure it won't wake anyone up?' Hazel whispered softly as Joe glanced her way.

" My dad used to work night shifts and would come home and shower at 3 am, we're used to it, so don't worry. They'll sleep." Joe said, patting her bare knee and she nodded with an innocent smile upon her lips. Hazel watched Joe with sad eyes as he gently put a hand in the water as it warmed up. 

Even though he looked so ungodly tired at this time of night, he managed to keep doing anything possible for it and it quite possibly made her heart mend a bit. 

The bathroom grew warm and Hazel finally felt the shakes stop in her system. Joe softly turned off the bath and slowly looked up at her Hazel and her sweat sodden hair and sad eyes.

" You ready? I'll help you in." he whispered, brushing a sweaty strand from her cheek. She nodded. 

" Here." Joe said and softly lifted her to her feet by her armpits and helped her to her feet as she looked up at him sadly. Joe softly watched her, his heart breaking for her as he gave her a gentle, slightly sad smile.

" Can you help me?" she whispered, her voice breaking at the end and Joe nodded. 

With Joe's help, she managed to undress and then he helped her settle down into the bathtub, into the warm water, which finally made her feel things again. Feel just the slightest bit of warmth inside her body. She curled into a ball, bringing her knees up against her chest, letting the water pool around her as she laid her heavy head against her knees, tears settling in her eyes. Old ones of course, but still they were tears filled with evident pain and anguish and memories of a life that had destroyed Hazel. 

Joe sat right beside her outside of the tub, watching her with worried eyes, as Hazel looked frozen in her entire trance.

" Did you want to talk about it?" Joe whispered softly, leaning forward to put his arm atop the tub, as he met her eyes, watching her with such a pure love which made her heart ache. Hazel nodded softly. 

Joe wouldn't judge her. He wouldn't care that she was crying over even the simplest of dreams. He would stay - he always did. 

Letting Joe see her this vulnerable, this open, this broken and shattered was something she had done quite a few times before, but now, this was the lowest of the low.

" I don't really remember it," she whispered, her voice trembling, " but it was like when I got wounded, in Bastogne." 

Joe felt himself grimace on the inside, a moment of where he had to control himself, watching Hazel break into shambles in front of him over something the Nazis had long ago inflicted upon her. 

Something he wished never had happened to an innocent flower like Hazel Parker. 

Joe softly reached forward to brush hair from her eyes, which remained bloodshot, blue and tear-filled, with trail marks on her cheeks to signify the tears that had dripped from them.

" It felt real." she whispered, " Like it were happening in that very moment, like I was there again, in Bastogne, feeling like I was about to die." Her voice wavered in and out of her voice and the sliver of a whisper. 

" I just wanted it to stop, Joe," she whispered, reaching up her hand absentmindedly to wipe at her cheek, as she forced herself to bite back the cry on her lips, " maybe it won't ever. I was so scared."

" Hey, it's okay," Joe whispered sitting forward, wanting to pull her right into his arms and make the world okay again and tell her everything would be okay. 

Even if right now it seemed like nothing was ever okay. 

They were both struggling - they both knew it too. 

Hazel's mental battle she knew would never fail to disappear, it would always be there, there would always be a constant mental battle that she would face with every oncoming decision in her life. And it sucked. And Joe was struggling with the fact he couldn't do anything but watch the woman he loved, struggle so much to even be herself, to let the war finally be the war and nothing more.

" I always thought I wouldn't have any permeant scar, but I was wrong. No one leaves war without a scar." she whispered her voice shaking, " I'm sorry." 

" Hazel, no, don't say that, hey," Joe whispered softly, cupping her tear stained cheek and brushing his thumb across it gently, " this war took so much, I don't think they expected anyone to just go back to normal. I mean we fought in a war, I'm not in anyway the person I was before this."

" It's okay to feel everything then? All these emotions and memories and fears?" Hazel whispered, " Because it sucks." 

" Of course," Joe whispered, " and it sucks, more than anything. But hey, I get to sit here with the most beautiful woman in the world." Hazel let out a little, tiny giggle, squeezing her eyes shut as a tear trailed down her cheek and Joe softly brushed it away with a smile.

" You always call me beautiful." Hazel said with a soft smile.

" Because you are and you deserve to be called beautiful everyday." Joe said and Hazel quirked out a small smile watching him in the soft light at nearly 3am. 

So raw, so just Joe.

" Even sitting here like this?" she said as she sniffled and Joe wiped at the tear on her cheek.

" Yes," Joe whispered, " you look beautiful." Hazel softly smiled at him, sitting in the warm bath water, arms pulling her legs flush to her chest.

" Thank you," Hazel whispered softly, " I hope you know I'm thankful you're in my life, Joe." Joe softly smiled, leaning up against the edge of the bathtub, looking up at her as if she were the most beautiful piece of art. 

To him, she was.

" Thank you for being in mine," Joe said and Hazel softly smiled, wiping at the tear on her cheek softly.

" I adore you," Joe said gently and Hazel met his gentle gaze. She sniffled softly and then smiled at her water covered knee caps. Hazel could sit by Joe's eyes for hours, she wished she could.

" You feeling better?" Joe asked her softly, his voice a low rumble in his throat, a soft thrum of guitar strings, quiet in the night. Hazel nodded.

" Sorry that it's 3am." she mumbled and Joe smirked in the warm glow.

" We've had our far share of 3am talks haven't we?" Joe said and Hazel giggled softly, before stifling a yawn to follow.

" Getting tired? Bath water always made me tired as a kid." Joe said and Hazel smiled softly, reaching up to wipe the remnant of tears from her cheeks.

" Yeah." she said.

" Well," Joe said, pulling over a fluffy light blue towel, " let's get you set." 

Joe helped her stand up from the warm water and then gently bundled her in the warm and fluffy and slightly big towel. Hazel stood cuddled into the towel as Joe briefly left to get clothes that weren't drenched in cold sweat before coming back in with her shorts, undergarments and one of his older shirts that had been in the dresser. Joe slowly walked back into the warm bathroom and saw Hazel staring at her prune-like hand outstretched from the towel. She smiled sadly at it before noticing Joe coming back. A soft smile grew on her features as Joe approached her. 

Hazel could see his tired eyes underneath that deep, dark, brown and she could sense that he was growing tired. 

But Joe's main priority was Hazel, even if it meant staying by her side all night, staying awake into the early hours of dawn. 

He'd do that for her, over and over again.

" Thanks, Joe." she whispered softly, " For everything." Joe softly cupped her cheek, the wet hair entangled in his fingers, a smile gently warped onto his cheeks. He could see the sleepy look in her eyes. He nodded softly to her.

" Let's get you settled." Joe said softly and Hazel nodded. 

Hazel trusted Joe more than anything, especially with her body. He knew about the boundaries she held up and only slowly let down every so often, and he didn't care if he had to help her into the bathtub, shaking and covered in sweat. He loved her. Any person that loved another would do the same, clothed or not. 

And Hazel knew Joe wouldn't judge, or make her feel uncomfortable especially when her emotions were unstable. 

Love was more than that. 

Joe helped her get dressed and even gently brushed her wet hair through in front of the mirror as Hazel watched herself. Softly biting back her lip, Hazel was gently soothed each time Joe gently brushed through her wet hair and it was so calming, calming each and every bit of her anxious being. Joe softly placed the brush on the sink and then placed his hands on her shoulders. Hazel watched his eyes through the mirror.

" You'll be there right? For the nightmares?" she whispered softly. And Joe softly grinned at her, wrapping his arms loosely around her neck, nuzzling his nose into her sweet-smelling neck, inhaling the gentle scent of the 3am bath. 

" Always," he whispered, his lips brushing the soft spot on her neck, which made her warm into his embrace even more. Hazel smiled softly.

" I can't say enough thank you's," she whispered and Joe softly sighed. 

" C'mon," Joe said," let's get some rest." Flipping off the light, the two moved towards his bed. Hazel softly crawled in and waited for Joe to settle down beside her. 

Pulling the blanket up over her legs, allowed her to softly cuddle back into Joe's side and let him just hold her there. And without having to say a word, she let herself fall gently asleep beside him. 

The nightmare didn't come back. 

The following morning, Hazel had sat herself down at the Liebgott's kitchen table, reading the newspaper with wide, curious eyes and sipping the coffee Joe's father had made her - it was just right. His mother was working on making breakfast, humming to herself as she went about her business, casting loving glances over her shoulder every so often towards Hazel, who sat sort of like an innocent baby bird it seemed. 

What made Mary smile even more, was the fact that no matter how tiny Hazel was, Joe's shirt was still big on her body. 

Hazel had been up before Joe and she had decided to leave him in bed, snuggling up the comforters around his body for him, before slipping downstairs where Mary and Joe were the only ones awake. But Hazel didn't mind, it such a peaceful and gentle conversation and they made Hazel laugh as she sat down. 

Footsteps echoed upstairs and the trio turned their head to see coming around the corner of where the stares were was Joe Liebgott, all dressed for the day, hair with its usual fluff and a bit of gel, a smirk on his face, eyes radiating like the sun.

" First time you've been up before 11 c'clock." his mother called to him as Joe chuckled, meeting Hazel's soft eyes which watched him in a quiet fascination. 

" That's the Army talking, Ma." he said as he lent down to wrap his arms around Hazel's neck loosely behind and softly kissed her temple. Hazel smiled towards him.

" Sleep well?" she asked him. Joe grinned.

" Knowing you were beside me?" Joe whispered in her ear, " Hell yeah." Hazel giggled as he softly pulled back and then went to greet his mother and father with tight hugs.

" Why are you....dressed so early?" his father asked Joe and Joe smirked as he went to grab a mug.

" Because, I'm taking Hazel out on the town today," Joe said as he poured himself a cup and Hazel's eyes grew wide.

" Really?" she asked sitting up with wide eyes, a smile on her dimpled cheeks.

" Oh yeah!" Joe said coming and taking a seat beside her, " Golden Gate Bridge, lunch and dinner, the piers, the parks, some of the best shops, a chocolate shop, all of it. Just you and me." Joe said and Hazel couldn't stop grinning.

" You want to borrow the car? Stephen washed it last week." Joe's dad asked him. 

" What do you say, Hazel?" Joe asked turning towards her as she sipped her coffee. She smiled and then nodded shyly.

" Alright," Joe said sipping his coffee with a smirk.

" I'm assuming we won't be expecting you two for dinner." his mother said and Joe nodded.

" You wanna get dressed Hazel, we'll head out early?" Joe asked her and Hazel nodded. Hopping up from her chair, Hazel retreated upstairs towards Joe's room, a tiny smile on her lips at the thought of the dress she was going to wear. 

October brought along a chilly gust of wind outside, similar to that of what she could only reminisce as the ones like at the Island. It made her shiver a bit at the thought of that time in her life. Hazel looked through the clothing she had, and eventually found the dress, one she had for quite some time. 

It was a beautiful deep burgundy red, falling to her knees, a slight collar around her neck as it dipped into a V-shape, cuffed sleeves at the shoulders, slightly big - curse her tiny frame - and her black Mary-Janes that her mother always had kept around for her and had packed away in her bag. 

After changing into the dress, she carefully pulled on little laced socks, before pulling on the Mary-Janes a soft smile on her face. She had never gotten her ears pierced, she felt she would fuss too much with something like that hanging from her ear, but she pulled on her dziadek's Star of David, softly tucking it around her neck, a soft smile on her lips. Hazel was clueless with makeup, nearly, she had a general skill set, but constantly working on the house, sweating, wiping her brow with the back of her arm, makeup was never on the top of her mind. 

And with the war, it most definitely was not. 

But she applied a light shade of blush and eyeshadow, before a light lip color, but nothing much, just to show the slightest bit. Hazel softly put her hair up in loose curls, some pinned up and away from her cheeks, the rest let down, loose down her back. 

Hazel slowly stepped up in front of the mirror and curiously watched herself in it, hands rested behind her back, an innocent expression upon her face as she watched herself. 

She looked beautiful. 

Hazel smiled. 

She _felt_ beautiful. 

Hazel softly twirled a bit and watched the dress sweep about around her knees - she felt as if last night wasn't filled with the horrid nightmare. 

Hazel grabbed the purse, softly placing it on her shoulder as she did so with a grin upon her face and then headed straight out of the door. 

Gently moving down the stairs, Hazel stepped down into the hallway before moving down into the living area and the kitchen.

" Hey," Hazel said the minute she stepped inside the kitchen, noticing it was just Joe and his mother now. 

The two turned and almost immediately Joe's eyes lit up, a small smile flowed onto his lips, his mother watching immediate adoration fill her son's body for Hazel. Hazel felt a blush creep up on her cheeks in almost an instant as Joe took her in, standing so innocently, in a beautiful dress, a small smile on her rosy cheeks, her dress hugging the curves of her upper body. Joe's cheeks swarmed with heat.

" Hey," Joe said as he stepped forward, stopping briefly in front of her, to look down towards her as she smiled up at him. 

His eyes said it all. 

He'd never seen her in a dress before - a dress like this.

" You look beautiful." he whispered softly and her blush deepened.

" Thank you, Joe." she said, " You look quite handsome yourself." Joe smirked at her and then gently kissed her forehead before leaning back to admire her again. 

Joe wore deep brown slacks, almost black, with black, shined-up dress shoes, a dark brown jacket with a collar and deep pockets, as well as a beige, button up collared shirt underneath, and the evident chain of his dog tags underneath. 

And his hair was it's usual fluffiness - it looked adorable. 

Joe couldn't help but let his eyes travel the length of her furthering her blush. 

Joe was _intoxicated_ by her.

" Alright, here you are." his mother said, coming up to him with the keys in hand, " Now remember be safe, be careful, no talking to strangers." 

" Mom..." muttered Joe.

" You have a beautiful young lady with you, especially no random strangers." Mary said and then smiled, plopping the keys in his hand. Joe smirked.

" Thanks, Mom." Joe said as Mary smiled.

" You two have fun alright," Mary said to them as she moved back over towards where a book lay on the table - the bible - and slowly picked it up, " not too much though." And both Hazel and Joe blushed, turning redder by the second.

" Right, Mom, we'll see you tonight." Joe said, shoving Hazel out of the kitchen, his mother's laugh following them down the hall as Hazel giggled. 

The second they were outside, the two burst into chuckles, watching each other with shy glances.

" Is she always like that?" Hazel managed out through a laugh.

" With people she likes? Yes." Joe said and Hazel giggled again.

" C'mon, we got a city to see." Joe said, taking her tiny hand in his own and smiling down at her. Hazel grinned softly up at him. She nodded. Joe lead her around to the side where the car was parked, a Dodge Custom from 1942, a shiny off white color.

" It's beautiful, Joe." she said as they came around the corner, stopping briefly in front of it.

" Yeah, pretty nice isn't it?" Joe said and Hazel grinned with a nod.

" Here," Joe said and lead her over to the passengers side, opening up the car door for her, sending her a real cheesy looking smile as she slid in.

" I love you, dork." she said to him as he leaned over the window. 

" Ditto." Joe said back and she chuckled softly watching him laugh to himself as he came around and opened the drivers side and slid right in next to her.

" But I'm your dork." Joe said and Hazel giggled, watching him from next to her.

" Obviously." she said and Joe couldn't help but softly bring her in for a kiss, placing his hands on either side of her soft-skinned face, surprising her, making her giggle against his lips. 

Pulling back, he gently dragged his thumb across her lips with a smirk, as she blushed further.

" What do you say I take you to the coast for lunch. Looking over the Gulf of the Farallones?" Joe said watching her eyes light up," Where you can see the waves crashing below at the corner seat?" 

" It sounds lovely, Joe, really, it's all I want. Just you and me." she said softly him watching his eyes glow like they usually always did.

" Then I can promise you, just you and me." he said and then softly pecked her lips again, making her smile. 

As he turned on the car, he adjusted the mirrors and then settled into the vehicle. Then he rolled forward onto the street and turned out of the home.

" And then after, we're heading to the Piers, and I can show you Alcatraz and the seals, loads of them. Then we'll have dinner on the pier, I know of a few places, then we can drive to the Golden Gate, settle in the park, watch the stars, just how you'd like." Joe said to her. 

" Aw, Joe." she said, blushing even more. 

Joe made her feel loved, even if it was just to look at the stars. 

She felt loved with him. 

Joe smirked at her.

" I love you," she whispered softly, her eyes watching his with such adoration and puppy love. 

" I've always loved you, Hazel Parker." 

✰✰✰

MY HEART AHHHHHHH this was purely just a chapter to show the dynamic of these two from sad to happy and how much they just purely love each other, ugh my heart - it makes me so soft!!! :) i will always adore this couple more than anything!! and sorry it's only one chapter tonight, school starts tomorrow and so does double the stress LOL, but the next chapter i promise will be ADORABLE!!!

**ANNOUNCEMENT!!!**

_Landslide, my third Band of Brothers fanfic, is now up! It holds previews, characters, and its prologue which I have been more excited than ever to share! Please, if you wish, check it out and I hope you enjoy - it's based upon Natia Filipska, a Polish Resistance Fighter in the Second World War! Her story is FASCINATING to write!! I hope that if you do check it out, you enjoy the prologue!! <3 thanks!!_


	59. touch

" There is something simply beautiful and simply innocent, in being human. It is just so innocent and beautiful. I love it."

_\- C. JoyBell C._

✰✰✰

Driving through the city was beautiful - Joe had turned down the windows, letting Hazel put her head out of the window as if she were some sort of golden retriever, letting the warm sunlight reflect down onto her, the bustling streets filled with people overwhelming her system. 

The last time she had seen bustling streets like this was back in New York City after the 3 Viragos were secretly escorted to Camp Shanks - that felt like years ago. 

Which it was. 

Joe looked over at Hazel every so often, leaning out of the window, the wind catching her loose curls, lighting up her face into golden hues, her eyes bright and wide, looking completely and utterly unbothered. 

Yeah, he was in love, big time. 

And being in love with his best friend was an even better feeling. 

" Hi doggy!!' Hazel called out, waving out of the window to a pup who barked joyfully towards her. Joe just about slammed into the back of the car at how adorable it was, pushing a smile on his face. 

Hazel made him such a better person - he liked the new him. 

Hazel slid back through the window fully, giggling.

" You should've seen him, Joe! He was so cute, a little black and white dog." she said, with soft eyes, " I never realized how fun it was to be in a city." Joe smiled glancing towards her. 

" It seems you fit right in." Joe said as he slowly rolled forward again and Hazel grinned up towards him. 

Hazel personally thought San Francisco was beautiful, all the little roads and street corners, the lovely ladies dressed for every occasion, the gentlemen in their suits, the military men and women walking proudly through the streets. 

To finally lay her eyes on a life that was not involved in a war was something Hazel needed especially after last night, to finally look upon a world where the war wasn't the immediate thing on everyone's minds. Just to feel the wind in her hair, the breeze tickling her cheeks, pushing a smile to her lips and Joe beside her was enough to make her feel genuinely happy. No forced smiles, no breaking and aching heart - just purely happy. 

Hazel was purely happy. She wished to always feel this way. 

Hazel could tell they were approaching the coast, because as they drove, the saltiness of the sea began to fill her nose and they were getting away from the large buildings of San Francisco and into the rolling hillsides and cliffs and little beaches that ran into the Pacific. 

Hazel had never quite seen the Pacific ocean, so when Joe parked, her eyes widened. She could see the entire ocean she felt, glistening under the sun, shining so bright, and the soft breeze warming her skin. 

Joe softly glanced towards Hazel watching as she looked so blissfully just, happy. She looked so happy. He had seen her so broken before and now that had all but faded. There was sadness but there was happiness, and even if both were needed to live life, it was nice to let happiness take the wheel. 

" Want to head down before lunch?" Joe asked her and Hazel looked over at him with shining eyes. 

" Can we?" she said, leaning back into the car and watching his eyes with her own glowing ones. Joe grinned and nodded. 

" Race ya!" he called and Hazel couldn't help but let out a giggle as Joe popped up and out of the car. But Hazel was quick on her own. 

" Joe!" she giggled, jumping out of the car and racing after him down the hill towards the ocean under the little restaurant that sat above. 

Hazel nearly felt her breath was taken away watching Joe run through the tall grass, fluffy hair flying atop his head, a boyish grin on his lips, turning back to look towards Hazel every so often, like fireworks were igniting his face. 

As Hazel approached where he had stopped, all she could hear was the crashing of the gentle ocean waves below, and her slightly labored breathing from running mingling with Joe's. 

But all she saw was Joe, underneath the sun, soaking it up, as he looked down at her, a gentle grin on his lips. Hazel couldn't stop looking up right into his eyes which seemed endless and unexplored in so many sectors, just like the sky above them. 

" I'm glad I'm here with you, Joe, I really am." she whispered softly, her heart race softly increasing. Joe softly cupped her cheek, his thumb gently brushing over her feather-light skin, which had previously been tarnished by war and destruction and had felt and seen the lives of so many lost and almost her own. 

" I'm glad you're here, I always am," Joe said softly, and Hazel might've blushed just the slightest bit. 

Joe treated her too well, even though Hazel knew it was always just out of love. 

Just being told that someone is glad you're there...means more than anything sometimes when you can't tell yourself that. 

Joe softly pressed a kiss to her forehead, before wrapping his arms around her, as she smiled, hugging him even closer, just yearning for his comforting touch that never failed to feel like home. 

The sea was endless, boundless, crashing softly beside them, the waves rolling up upon the shore every so often, a breeze ruffling their hair, encased in the warm and loving hug together, side by side. Hazel softly looked towards the sea from Joe's shoulder and let out a sigh. 

Her love with Joe, was not the outcome she expected from war. Sometimes from war you met your death, you found grief and desperation, you found a family, you found a home, you found the love of your life, you found so many different things within war. 

Hazel had found many of those, far more than she would've ever imagined or believed she would, stepping into Fort Bragg all those years ago - but she had found a sisterhood with women who had meant more than they ever would to hazel - sisters for life. She had also found Joe and Joe had found her. 

And despite war, they had found each other and held onto each other, despite all the heartache, pain and grief that managed to wedge its way in between them. They loved each other for the pure and raw emotional connection found with one another at the most vulnerable time. 

They were best friends who happened to be in love, and they knew each other like the back of their own hands. 

Maybe love was more, maybe it was what was in the movies in Hollywood. But not to Joe and Hazel - love was simply being there for each other when you couldn't be there for yourself, maybe a soft glance in the early hours of the morning, even just a simple 'How are you today?', or even just sharing a tiny snack before bed at night. 

Gazing at the stars, watching constellations roll overhead, knee to knee in the foxholes of Normandy, managing to make it a laughing moment instead of one filled with sadness. Maybe it was the way Joe had glanced at her and it had all seemed to click in that moment, that he'd always be there for her, seeing her down to her bare beginnings and saying, 'I don't care, I'll always be there.', with simply just his deep brown eyes watching her own. 

Love wasn't perfect. 

Nothing in this world was absolutely perfect. 

And you weren't supposed to be perfect in love. 

God never created love to be perfect, because if it was perfect, it would get quite boring wouldn't it? 

Where would the wrong turns on the drive that lead you to the most beautiful hillside overlooking the ocean with no one around be? 

Where would the nights spent up late all night talking before work the next morning, and accidentally not even taking a moment to rest, but realizing there was someone there for you all along? 

Where would the lonely moments of desperation be, that eventually turned into the two of you curled upon the couch just simply holding each other, being there for each other, simply just touching each other with warm hearts and knowing that you may feel alone, but you aren't alone and someone will always be there? 

If love was perfect those moments wouldn't ever happen. 

And with Joe, Hazel wished to have those moments with him, where their imperfections were placed together like artwork, but shown to show that love wasn't supposed to be perfect, it was just supposed to be right for you, just you and the person you were with. Whatever worked for the two of you. 

Hazel believed that more and more everyday with Joe. But their love was beautiful and that's what she felt mattered the most between her and Joe. 

Hazel softly pulled back and looked up towards him. Joe watched her with gentle eyes.

" Thanks for talking to me back in England," Joe said, " after the boat ride, even though I was a complete grouch." Hazel giggled softly at the words and the smirk on his face. 

" Not everyone's happy all the time, I just figured that maybe by talking about it....you'd feel better. Mom always did that - you weren't any different." Hazel whispered and Joe softly grinned, his eyes aglow under the sun. 

" Thank you, Hazel." Joe whispered softly.

And Hazel knew the thank you from Joe was for more than her simple words. 

Hazel couldn't help but giggle quietly to herself, a blush rising to her cheeks as she stood under his gaze. Hazel softly kissed his cheek, before wrapping her arms around him again, hugging him close, inhaling his scent which brought a comfort unlike anything else to the world. 

Sometimes you never had to say how much you loved someone - words were congesting after a while. 

All you needed to do was simply just feel. 

War had taught her that.

**_Churchill Downs, Louisville, Kentucky - October 14th, 1945_ **

Catherine McCown slowly stepped forward, her footsteps slowed, her gaze soft and her heart rate low, but the tremble in her throat caused a bit of heartache to radiate within her soul. It was quiet in the large stadium that was normally filled with cheering fans, loud calls from owners in the stands, and the heavy breathing from all the horses and jockeys, the hooves in the mud, flying up into their faces, the ringing of the bell once the winner passed the finish line. 

Catherine remembered distinctly how she felt the minute she saw her Grandparents' horse win the Kentucky Derby here, the excitement, adrenaline, the calm before the storm. It had been before a war, before the world had exploded with hatred and sadness and so much grieving pain that would settle into all their hearts for as long as they live. 

Catherine glanced down at her uniform, the medals from her service shining under the looming sun, her heels and toes perfectly pressed together as if she were still in war. They would all be at war still even with it over - 3 years of your life to war, you were likely to never forget. Who you fought with, cared for and loved, no one ever made it out perfectly alive. 

Catherine inhaled the scent of Churchill Downs. It was beautiful at this time of morning when there were no horse races, no people, just her and the birds, the sun and the quiet hum of the silence of the stadium. 

Gentle footsteps that approached her right side signaled someone was coming up beside her. 

George Luz had been the one who offered to stop here before meeting the family. She needed a moment like this. 

Many of her previous moments like this were usually shared between her and a horse, as she softly held its face in her hands, stroking its gentle snout, looking into its wide, understanding eyes, in the early morning hymn, just her and the horse who would race without fail.

Now, it was her and George in the early morning sun. George softly stopped beside her and leaned his hands against the railing and then softly glanced towards her. Catherine met his eyes and then softly smiled.

" Thanks for bringing me here....I needed this." she whispered softly. George softly reached forward and put his hand over her own. 

" You don't have to thank me." he whispered, his voice enough to just warm her heart. Catherine softly looked out towards the stadium again, the racetrack that wrapped around the entirety of it.

" As a kid, I never thought I'd be standing here all these years later, like this." she said, her voice trembling slightly, nodding, " I was just a child." George softly shuffled closer and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, pressing a loving kiss to her temple as she brought in whatever warmth he managed to provide her. 

" Hey George?" she asked softly.

" Hm?" George hummed gently.

" Remember in Bastogne....." she whispered," what I promised you and....and uh," Catherine squeezed her eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. Catherine hadn't said their names in quite some time, it had been too much for her, to repeat their names after seeing them disappear never to show again. 

" Skip and Penkala." George finished for her and Catherine nodded against him, choking up a bit as she did so. 

" I promised..." she whispered, her heart breaking as she spoke," that they'd see this one day, they can't now." Her voice broke at the end and George softly pressed her head against his chest as she softly shut her eyes in his embrace. The war would follow them through too many aspects of life and settle into every crack and break it could. 

War did that. 

Even in your happiest moments, it would always find a way to get inside. 

Catherine's heart raced, but listening to George's which was right underneath her ear, settled her, letting her focus on now. 

But she had seen them, her and George both had and it had ripped a part of her soul from her - the innocence that had been with her had disappeared watching a death like that capture the two of them, people who were going to have a good life after the war, who would go home happy and merrily, and would try to be the best positive light they could. Now they were gone. 

What kept her from not shattering, was standing there in George's arms, simply just being in this gentle moment with him, with no one else around, knowing that he was there, the man she loved and who loved her with just as much love, stood right there and she got to be in his arms. 

" George?" Catherine asked softly.

" Yes?" his voice was so gentle and vulnerable. 

" I don't want to think about Bastogne, but I feel I won't stop feeling the pain unless I talk about it." Catherine whispered, her voice shaking, " And I hate it, but I can't stop feeling so guilty." George pulled back and watched Catherine gently. 

" Cath," George whispered softly, as the two met eyes in the morning light, " they wouldn't want you to feel like this, no one would. You can't save everyone in war." Catherine watched George - his usual happy self, suddenly evaporated - but you can't be happy all the time. 

" Someday." George said softly with a nod, " Maybe we won't have to feel all this pain some day, but you can't live life without pain and it sucks but, what we can do is continue to tell their story, of how they lived and breathed. How they fought. Skip and Penkala's singing, their jokes, their stories. Continue to tell them and they won't be forgotten, and maybe someday we won't feel what we do." 

Catherine watched George. Even if he was a jokester most of the time, he was also someone who gave the best advice, some of the best besides Hazel's that she had heard. He always knew what to say, he always knew how to comfort her and make her feel better about the raging thoughts in her mind. He was George Luz. Catherine watched him with shining eyes filled with adoration. He seemed so gentle in this moment, calm and content, as if he were some ancient poetic. His hair slightly brushing in the breeze, a gentle grin on his lips, his chocolate eyes watching the horizon. Her heart skipped a beat. 

" You won't go through whatever is in your mind all alone, I won't let that happen." he whispered softly, " And I love you Catherine McCown and after what you did for Easy Company, you don't deserve to feel and go through the pain you did over there." Catherine's eyes welled up with tears and suddenly her throat was lodged with them. 

To have someone tell you that you weren't alone in your sufferings was enough to make her cry, to make her feel all of it, all the pain that had encircled her and suddenly have it out in the open. 

But George understood her deeply, more than anything in this world - and he couldn't live with himself if she suffered alone. No one deserved that. 

George softly pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, holding it there for a few moments as Catherine savored the intimate touch of George's lips on her forehead. A touch that meant more than she could imagine. 

A symbol that he loved her through hell and high water and love always prevailed. No one deserved to suffer alone and in the middle of Churchill Downs in the early hours of the morning with no one around, George signified that. 

And to Catherine that meant more than she could ever imagine. 

A single touch could mean a thousand words.

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_AHHHHHH IM BACK!!! school has been CHAOTIC if you can guess, so yeah well that's why i haven't been able to update :) but TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT!! and yes! we are moving into catherine + george territory now and i'm very excited for their upcoming chapters, i'm hoping to at least get another out this week for you all!! i've been so excited to reveal this chapter and the night has arrived finally!! thank you all so much, the story as you can tell is slowly drawing to a close, which i'm emotional about of course - this was my quarantine book that pushed me through - but landslide, my third bob fic is what is keeping me going because i know i have another after this LOL so check it out if you want! i have the prologue all set :)_

_THANK YOU ALL!!! <3_


	60. homecoming

" You are my sun, my moon and all of my stars."

_\- E. E. Cummings_

✰✰✰

**_Saratoga Springs, Upstate New York - October 19th, 1945_ **

" Are you sure, George?" Catherine McCown softly asked him as the taxi slowly approached her home in Upstate New York. George Luz watched her.

" Of course, Cath!" he said softly looping an arm over her shoulder and pulling her closer, " Why wouldn't I?"

" 'Cause my dad's...you know.." Catherine said. Catherine and George had plenty of discussions around the way her father had treated her compared to her older sister. 

" I care about you more, Cath," George said, his warm embrace enough of a comfort for now, as she gently snuggled into his side. Catherine was tough, but she just melted in George's arms most of the time and she needed that.

" They're your family and no matter who they are I'll still love you, we all have crazy family - just wait until you meet Cousin Javier." George said and Catherine had to let out a laugh. George had talked about Javier before - he reminded her of Speirs. It made her laugh.

" And my siblings, my brothers - they're not home yet, but my younger sisters are and Matilda's always over with her husband and so it should be...interesting. I feel so bad, I just...my dad, he's the ex-Marine, he's just super-" George softly stopped Catherine by placing a gentle kiss to her forehead which made her melt just a bit more.

" I don't care," he whispered, " I love you." Catherine looked up and met his eyes and her heart softly thrummed against her chest. The taxi slowly pulled up towards the beautiful home in Saratoga Springs. 

" Holy shit," George muttered, but when he met Catherine's eyes they were sad. Her gaze stayed on the home and George knew it was taking a lot in her to move from the seat of the taxi.

" Hey, it's okay." George softly said, " I'll be right there with you." 

Catherine softly cuddled against him, trying to calm her breathing down with his heart rate. The first time in over 3 years where she'd be seeing her parents again, seeing Matilda again, her younger sisters, all of them. It scared her. It truly did, deep down, it scared her. Because the fact she was bringing home George, who was most definitely not the wealthy business man her father had harped on her for years to go after. Her mother had been more in her father's shadow, and had cared more, but Catherine had just wanted her mother to use the voice she had. Her mother had yet to, even though Catherine loved both of them.

" I'm sorry if they say anything, I tried to tell them in my letters about you, about everything, they just their from the stuck up side of Upstate, they're just, they have a way of life.." Catherine said.

" Hey, Cath," George said softly, brushing a hand on her cheek," I love YOU. And that means I love your entire family, no matter how much you love them. I won't ever stop loving you because I'm told I can't alright?" Catherine felt tears well up in her eyes and George softly pecked her lips.

" C'mon, I'm sure they're waiting for us," George said as he shuffled out of the car," And don't get out yet, I want to get the door for you." And with that he jumped out of the car with an excited giggle, leaving Catherine blushing. 

The second the door opened, Catherine looked up in the warm night to see George there, with a gentle smile on his face, hand held out towards her. Catherine softly took his hand and stepped up and out of the car, looking up towards his face with a proud smile.

" I'll get your bags, you two head up." the taxi driver said.

" We can take 'em," George said. The taxi driver watched the two with a soft smile.

" You two fought a war, I drove cabs. I'm going to get your bags." he said and smiled. George and Catherine turned to watch each other and the two smiled softly. 

" Let's go," Catherine said softly and the two encased their hands in one another, heading up the cobblestone staircase with one another. The house was illuminated with light, little lanterns up the path towards the home, rooms aglow with luminous light. 

George could feel her shaking just a bit beside her, just in the way she grasped his hand. 

This Catherine McCown was very different from Lieutenant Catherine McCown. 

The minute the two reached the door, George watched as Catherine stared at it, trying to slow her slightly more powerful breathing rate. George's hand slowly rubbed against her back, over and over and she took that to calm herself down. Catherine slowly stepped forward to knock against the door. And almost immediately her heart was racing again, and her palms were sweaty and cold sweat had formed along her forehead. 

The minute the door opened, a woman stood there, looking like a slightly older version of Catherine with slightly more red hair, youthful eyes and a playful smile.

" Cath!" the woman called stepping forward, not even daring to look towards George as she stepped forward to hug her.

" Hey Matilda." Catherine said, but her tone was distant and slightly bitter and George could tell by the way Catherine hadn't let go of his hand and put it around her sister, that the air was tense. Matilda pulled back and then willed a glance at George.

" Who's this?" she asked, in a slight scoff, merely surprised tone. Catherine narrowed her eyes.

" My boyfriend, George Luz." Catherine said, stepping closer to George. George forced a smile on his face. He didn't like the way Matilda had seemingly picked apart Catherine's entire uniform the minute she opened the door. Or the way she looked at him, holding Catherine's hand in his own.

" George," Matilda said, holding out her hand, " it's nice to meet you." Her voice was stiff, the way she held out her hand was even more stiff and she could barely meet his eyes. Catherine was watching Matilda with an impending gaze. 

" What's your problem?" Catherine said," You drink too much already?" Matilda turned to glare at her.

" And I thought I'd be happy to actually have you back." Matilda sneered, dropping George's hand," You oughta be lucky daddy's not home yet."

" Catherine! George!" a voice said and Catherine let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was her mother. 

" Mom!" Catherine called and Marley McCown raced past Matilda straight into the arms of her daughter.

" Aw Cath!" cried her mother," When we heard you were coming, I didn't expect yo see you and George so soon, but I'm so delighted. I've just started dinner." Pulling back, Marley gently cupped her daughter's face with a gentle, loving motherly smile that Catherine had missed so much. Then Catherine looked to George and Marley followed.

" George!" Marley said, gently padding over to bring him into a warm motherly hug," You are so handsome, it's so lovely to finally meet you!" George grinned.

" Thank you, thank you, it's wonderful to finally meet you as well." George said as Marley pulled back and looked at the two.

" And you just make the most adorable couple!" Marley squealed and Catherine didn't miss the jealous glare from Matilda," Come on! Come on!" Marley gently let the couple inside and Catherine watched George's eyes glow.

" You have a beautiful home, Mrs. McCown." George complimented.

" Oh please George, I'm Marley to you, and thank you. I've always loved interior design." she said as they walked down the main hall towards the kitchen to the right. 

" Where are the girls?" Catherine asked.

" Up in their room, or Jack or Clark's room." her mother said," They've been missing you three." There was that proud motherly smile again. 

" If you don't mind, I'm going to go and surprise them, I've missed them." Catherine said and George grinned at her as she softly kissed his cheek before turning and moving towards the stairs. Marley watched her daughter go, turning into that little girl again as she raced up the stairs.

" Thank you for inviting me to your home, really, I know Catherine's missed it here." George said, trying to be as polite as he could. He knew Catherine was just glad her father wasn't here. Marley looked around and then softly sat at a chair in the island and looked at him. 

" I know she didn't miss her father much," Marley whispered to him and George watched her, his jaw clenching, " He's just-"

" What?" Matilda's voice said as she stepped into the kitchen glaring daggers at George," An ex-Marine mother, from a wealthy family, he's anything but whatever you're about to say."

" Now, Matilda, we have a guest here now." Marley said and Matilda glared.

" A military man mother, not the wealthy business man daddy promised for her. Who's been waiting for her!" Matilda complained. Marley watched her.

" Matilda McCown, I should not have to tell you to lower your voice in my house." Marley said as Matilda glared.

" Daddy won't be happy, seeing a military man with his middle child, pfft," Matilda said, " not at"

" Matilda Marie McCown!" Marley said standing up, defending George with blazing eyes. Matilda was boiling. George stood in the thick of it all, eyes wandering between Matilda and her mother as the two engaged in a heavy staring contest.

" How dare you disregard a soldier! A man who fought in this horrid war, how dare you!" Marley yelled, her voice shaking the roof it felt. Matilda glared at her.

" You always were on Catherine's side weren't you?" Matilda sneered, " The minute you heard about George you were over the moon. When I told you about James you were nothing but subdue." Marley narrowed her eyes.

" Because your father didn't give Catherine the validation she deserved and you know that!" Marley yelled back at her daughter. 

George's eyes were narrowed as he watched this. 

Catherine deserved each and every praise in the world. 

After what she'd done. 

Everything she'd done. 

The mother and daughter watched each other, intense gazes lying on one another.

It was jealousy - some certain form of jealous that swirled in Matilda's eyes and had been hinted at more than once for too many things. 

" Is that him?" a quiet voice whispered and the group int he kitchen slowly turned to see Catherine standing with a few 7 years old it seemed, 3 of them, coming around the corner.

" Yes, that's George," Catherine said and George grinned almost immediately kneeling down in front of the 3 little girls.

" Hey kiddos," George said, noticing the shy smiles on their faces, their matching blue eyes and brown hair, and glowing youthful faces, " I like your little pigtails there."

" See, I told you they were pigtails Molly!" the little girl called and then launched her arms around George.

" Thank you Georgie for calling them pigtails, they're not ponytails because ponytails are not short." the little girl sad as Molly frowned.

" That's what I've been saying," George said and the three little girls smiled and then let out giggles.

" You're funny, Georgie," Molly said coming up and curling by his side on the floor as Marley watched with soft eyes, " I'm Molly." 

" And I'm Peggy." the one to his other side said, before George glanced at the one who stood back near Catherine's leg a bit shyer.

" And I'm sure you have a pretty name as well?" George said with an encouraging grin. Catherine softly knelt beside her and nodded with a smile. 

" I'm Eleanor." she said, her cheeks a slightly embarrassed bright red as she stepped forward gently.

" That's a beautiful name you know," George said, " it means light. My last name means light, too." Eleanor giggled softly and shuffled closer.

" That's pretty." sighed Peggy, nestling her head onto George's with a tiny giggle," What does Peggy mean?" George grinned.

" Well, I had a grade school friend named Peggy, she looked a lot like you, you know, with the pigtails," George said and Peggy giggled, " it can mean you are a little pearl." 

" And pearls are pretty!" cried Molly, " Me next! Me next!" George chuckled, comfortably sitting on the floor as Eleanor sat in front of him with shy, quiet yet shining eyes.

" Molly means star of the sea, which you are." George said and the trio giggled excitedly. 

" You must be pretty smart." Eleanor said sitting forward with glowing, cherubic eyes. George chuckled.

" I think it was just because I had your sister by my side for so long," George said as the trio giggled again watching him. 

" Cathy! Cathy! Did you make him smart?" Molly asked turning with wide eyes to her sister. Catherine laughed lightly, crawling to sit beside her and look up towards George who sat with a smirk on his face.

" No silly," Catherine said, glancing towards him with a winning smile, " he already was smart." 

" Oooooh!!!' the girls cooed about.

" And was his hair this FLUFFY!" cried Peggy reached up to gently pat his head as any small child probably would. George and Catherine laughed. 

" I guess you could say so." Catherine said meeting his eyes and George chuckled.

" I could say it was," George said and the three little girls laughed.

" You're funny George," Eleanor said with glowing eyes, " can we keep him?" Catherine blushed, letting out a giggle of her own.

" I'm hoping he sticks around." she said and George let out a warm chuckle as he met her gaze. 

Catherine slowly looked up as Molly was asking George another question and saw the hopeful look in her mother's eyes, the soft gaze towards her daughter. But she also saw Matilda's gaze - one of rage, pure anger - jealousy. 

A jealousy that hit Catherine right in the center of her chest. 

But this was Catherine's life. 

Matilda could be jealous all she wanted - she had gotten married early, she had her kid early - that was on her. 

Catherine never listened to society's standards - that wasn't living. 

And George - he had been worth it all. 

She'd fight a whole other war if he was at the end. 

She always would.

✰✰✰

_hey!! i'm back for my weekly update LOL school has been crazy and with covid-19 even more so at this point!! and my marching band is back practicing again but it's still stressful like always and add a job on top of that and it's just one big stress ball but i love being able to come and write for you all and upload this story - i was excited to finally reach catherine + george's part because there are some - yes you guess it - jealous siblings or sibling in this case - matilda who we heard about earlier. get ready because this ride isn't over just yet :)_


	61. family

" She was the most beautiful, complicated thing I'd ever seen. A tangled mess of silky string. And all I wanted of life, was to sit down cross-legged and untie her knots."

\- Atticus

✰✰✰

Catherine stood beside her mom at the pot of simmering water, as her mother stirred in pasta, glancing out into the living room where George sat with the trio of Peggy, Molly and Eleanor all cuddled around him, all laughing and giggling together. 

" They love him." Marley said and Catherine softly glanced back towards her mother with a soft smile and nodded. 

" And I know you do, too." Marley whispered and Catherine smiled sadly.

" Matilda.....mom...she's just..." Catherine whispered, but ended up stopping and shaking her head.

" Honey, she's just...her life started before yours, she didn't get the experience you had, finding a man like George Luz. I'm sure she's just jealous." Marley said softly but Catherine watched her mother. 

" She stared at George as if he were not allowed in the home, Mom." Catherine said softly, looking back over towards George, " I don't want her looking at him like that again. George saved my life more times than I could even count out there and having her look at him the way she did upsets me." Marley looked up at her daughter, watching her fighting down the evident tears of frustration. 

Catherine had wanted this to be a warm reception but Matilda had to be the one to mess it all up, to take out jealousy and anger on Catherine and George. Putting up that fake mask in front of them. 

" Have you talked to her?" Marley asked Catherine and Catherine sighed shaking her head.

" I don't know if I want to, Mom," Catherine said with a sigh, putting a hand to her face, as George's chuckle was followed by the trio of little girls' own. 

" Where's James and Helen?" Catherine asked her Mom - Matilda's husband and daughter.

" At home I believe - they didn't know you'd be home today." Marley said but Catherine just let out a sigh and shook her head. 

" James just doesn't like that I was in the military." she muttered, cramming her fingers together in front of her body with a shaky sigh, shaking her head.

" Hey, honey, no, don't think that." Marley said wrapping an arm around Catherine, but Catherine just sighed. 

" Let me go talk to her," Catherine said - she didn't want to have this conversation - not yet. 

" She should be outside, on the back porch." Marley said and Catherine just sighed as she moved towards the door that led to outback. 

Catherine slowly opened it up and stepped outside, immediately seeing Matilda sitting in a chair, all proper and prim. Her eyes slowly met Catherine's and almost immediately Catherine felt like she wanted to break. 

" Catherine," she said before turning and looking out again towards where the golf course was. 

" Matilda, can we talk?" Catherine asked her stepping forward.

" About what?" Matilda snapped as she stood and Catherine narrowed her eyes, " The fact you were a woman in the military. You bring home a military man?"

" Those are not your words," Catherine said, her voice even - she was not going to get angry over this, she refused. 

" Damn right they are." Matilda snapped. Catherine looked at her. 

" You were always jealous," Catherine said, " yet you were treated like a princess." 

" I am not jealous - losing a part of myself in this world - not me!" Matilda called and Catherine watched her. 

" Matilda please, I am your sister, if there's something wrong you can tell me." Catherine said, trying to keep her words from exploding at the lips. Matilda watched her.

" Since when were you so sentimental?" Matilda grumbled, narrowing her eyes at her. 

" I've always been sentimental you've just been too busy to notice." Catherine said, eyes preying on Matilda's own. Matilda finally broke it seemed.

" You've had the perfect life Catherine!" Matilda snapped, her eyes growing filled with an unearthed sort of sadness that Catherine had never in her life seen in her sister's eyes, " And the reason Dad was hard on you was simply because he knew you'd turn into something great - and being so hard on you with everything, he knew it would bring you someplace good in the end. They didn't care about me, the airhead, the dumb older sister, the one who slid by in life, got drunk when she could, partied throughout college. Yep that was me! And look who you show up with! A handsome military man, who cares about you so much, and we all can see it. It doesn't take a genius not to see it! And who do I have? James! A business man who works more than is ever home to see me or my daughter - I don't even think love was what he even married for. And I thought I had the perfect life - I've always been jealous - I mean look at you! A Lieutenant? In the military? Part of Operation Virago? With a group of men who won't ever stop being your brothers? How am I not supposed to be jealous?" Matilda said as tears streaked down her cheeks. 

Catherine watched her sister with tear filled eyes, biting back the trembling lip that fought to shake consistently. 

" Dad always believed in you, even if he didn't show it. He was hard on you because he knew you'd get somewhere great in the future. And no one knew besides me. Jack, Clark, MOM! They were all oblivious to it all! They thought he was mentally hurting you all along but it was me that got hurt. This isn't the life I wanted - everyone thought I wanted this but I didn't. I was capable of more, but I was put down too much to think I wasn't. And now look at me." Matilda said shaking her head, her cries escaping in gasping chokes, " A mere house wife." Catherine watched Matilda, really watched her. 

Catherine's hands were shaking, filled with sweat, filled with anger, filled with confusion - too many emotions that continued to conflict one another. 

" Don't believe me - don't. See what happens when Daddy walks through that door and sees how successful you've become - it'll be a complete different person. Just watch and wait." Matilda said as she ran a hand under her eye. 

" I'm going upstairs," she said and then stepped past Catherine, wiping her finger under her eye and carefully stepping into the house again. 

Catherine finally let out a shuttering breath, completely taken back. Sucking in a bit of the cool breeze to calm her entire being, Catherine looked out towards the sky. It was too much to comprehend, to even try to take it, to even try and put pieces together. 

Catherine slowly wiped her finger under her eye to rid them of the evident tear that had escape and sighed, letting out another shaky breath. She sniffled, leaning against the railing. 

Why was family so hard? 

Why did it have to be so complicated? 

Why did even in a family of people who loved one another, did there have to be jealousy and competition? 

Why can't they just love each other for who they are? 

Catherine's mind went to Easy - Easy had never judged each other, no matter what experiences each and every one of them went through. And this was where she knew everyone would struggle. Each and every fighter of war. 

Easy Company had been a family who never judged you for a thing - in this horrid war - they never would, you didn't judge people you went through a traumatic experience like that - you didn't. But at home, they had never experienced a life like that - and they probably never would - and now Catherine would have to adjust back to people who would possibly judge your every move, who would never understand the war from your own perspective. 

None of it. 

And it sucked. 

Catherine's bond with Easy was one of the most important aspects of her life, that they had started to become more of a family than anything in this world. 

But that was gone now. 

And she hated to even believe it. 

But she missed the war, and the bonds she had during it - why the hell did she miss war? She would never know, but some day she hoped she never would miss war like she did now. 

Catherine slowly turned and moved back inside and saw George look up with the trio, smiles on their faces and Catherine managed a quiet forced smile as she shut the door behind her. 

Peggy, Molly and Eleanor couldn't recognize that forced smile yet but George did and almost immediately sent her a look. Catherine slowly trailed towards the group of 4.

" Hey," she said and George watched her closely.

" Hey girls, mind making room for Cath?" George asked the trio.

" Yeah, yeah, c'mon Cath! You can listen to George's stories with us!" squealed Molly, as she pulled Peggy back a bit. Catherine smiled, a small smile and let herself fall onto the couch, right beside George, and Catherine didn't hesitate to melt right into his embrace when he wrapped his arm over her shoulder, letting her head rest against him, her body begging for his warmth. 

" Are you okay, Cathy?" Eleanor asked softly leaning forward from the other side of George's embrace. 

" Yeah," Catherine said nodding, " I'm okay."

" Just okay?" Peggy asked, leaning forward to look at her sister, " You don't seem okay." Catherine watched Peggy's innocent eyes look at her own - a child who hadn't seen the war, take and take and take. 

" How about you girls go and help Mom? I know she must have to set all the dishes out." Catherine said her voice quiet. The three girls looked at each other slightly confused.

" Yeah, I bet your Mom needs a lot of help and needs a lot of big, strong muscles as well." George said and the girls all giggled.

" I have the strongest!" called Molly as she ran in front of the other two, straight out of the room and into the kitchen. 

The second their little footsteps had disappeared, Catherine wrapped her arms around George's neck, loosely and snuggled her head right into his neck, inhaling the soft scent of his cologne he always wore. The scent she loved. 

" Hey," George said, pulling back a bit to get a good look at her and brush the hair from her eyes, " what's going on, you don't seem you." 

George's hand was so warm and welcoming and it made her physically just want to break, but she vowed she wouldn't create a scene again.

" Family's crazy." she whispered, her voice breaking a bit by the end, softly reaching up to brush her hand through George's fluffy hair to calm herself, " Matilda just... she unloaded a lot on me I guess, I'm not handling it well." George softly watched her with those big, brown eyes that seemed to go on forever and it made her heart pulse a bit more, a soft, gentle pulse. 

" I'm sorry about that Cath," George said softly, " you wanna talk about it?" Catherine watched his soft eyes and then nodded. She trusted George with every aspect of her emotions, more than anything and George never failed to always understand each and every aspect of those emotions. She was grateful for him every single day. 

" Matilda just..." Catherine started, as George brought her closer against him, watching her eyes, watching the way her lips moved briefly as she talked to him, her downcast eyes, focusing on the way she softly prodded at a piece on his collared shirt, " said some stuff, about my Dad, about our life, before the war." 

Catherine's voice was like a gentle whisper, and practically nothing more, in the dim light from the nearby lamp in the family room, the tiny fire in the large fireplace, close to dwindling and George and Catherine's faces watching each other's every intimate move. It was close, personal and so gentle. Exactly what they both needed. It was a moment of peace. 

" She just said that my Dad pushed me because he knew I was going places, I don't know, and said he didn't push Matilda because he knew she wouldn't. I mean, George, I can't handle it, all of this, it's too much too fast," she whispered, her eyes filled with pain, " why can't they just be grateful I'm alive and not bring up all of this? And she said she was jealous, George!" Her voice was a quiet whisper.

" She said she was jealous because of the way she doesn't have a relationship like you and I, that her and James are barely even in love. And George...I just..." Catherine shook her head, " I don't even know anymore." George watched her, holding her close as her eyes met his.

" I'm still fighting and we're not even in a war anymore." she whispered and George watched her gaze. 

" I'm sorry," she whispered, " for the way she acted. I didn't like the way she looked at you - at all." 

" Hey, look at me, Cath," George said and Catherine softly met his eyes, biting back her slightly trembling lip, " it's family, alright, and the war, we went through, we can't expect anyone to understand. People may just act like nothing happened, but we'll always get one another alright? You're not alone on this, and I want you to know that." Catherine watched him softly and nodded. 

" Alright?" George whispered. Catherine smiled softly, looking down with a tiny nod.  
" Hey," George said, putting a finger under her chin as she watched him with gentle eyes, " I'll always be here." Catherine couldn't help but let a genuine smile cross her lips. 

Catherine softly closed the little gap between them and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. George's lips were so gentle and it genuinely calmed her down to just to be in such a soft, intimate moment with the man she loved. 

Softly pulling apart, George reached up to gently brush some hair from her eyes. 

" Always." he whispered and Catherine couldn't help but giggle at his smile. 

Damn, she loved him.

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hey!! another catherine x george chapter for all of us, i swear these two makes me so soft, they were just made for each other, and they just need each other :) i just love writing them sm!!! especially after the war, i feel they need some joy soon <3

REMINDER

landslide's first update is 3 DAYS AWAY on October 2nd!! preview + prologue are all up and out, and i'm super excited to get that story rolling after this :) 

thank you all!!! <3


	62. simply you

" She was everything real in a world of make-believe."

\- Atticus

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Matilda had been right. 

George had pulled off his Class-A coat, hanging it up on the nearby hanger and was walking around in his casual, beige button up, just like Catherine, making her mother laugh, the girls giggle excitedly, and telling some jokes in the process. But a voice had interrupted them.

" Catherine?" The voice had been one she hadn't heard in quite some time. Catherine softly turned and her eyes laid upon eyes similar to her very own. 

Her father. 

They watched each other from across the room, almost as if they were studying one another. She didn't fail to notice that her father's eyes moved over to George and looked at George standing there, plates and cups, ready to set the table in hand.

" Hi Dad." Catherine said - the tension was getting to her head, and the onslaught of tears that threatened to well in her eyes wasn't helping either. The look from her father, simply just looking at her, for the first time in years simply just proudly. And her father slowly dropped his work bags and took a few steps between where he stood and Catherine and engulfed her in a hug. 

Catherine stood there, completely and utterly confused. 

Why was he hugging her? 

Why was he holding her in such a warm hug? 

Why was he almost in tears? 

What was going on? 

Her father pulled back and looked down at her.

" I didn't think I'd see you again," he said and she heard his voice break a bit. 

And the tears in Catherine's eyes were not from joy of seeing her father again, no she felt they'd never be. 

After a childhood of being told you weren't good enough, and now this? 

Acting like those years hadn't affected her in anyway and she was just supposed to stand there and hug him and act all sappy? 

Is that what she was supposed to act like? 

Catherine just nodded, slowly stepping back from him - she was afraid to open her mouth and let the tears roll down her face and then fully breakdown. She'd done that far too much in her past. She was stronger than that. 

Catherine slowly stepped back and gently glanced towards George, placing a hand gently on his tensed back. 

George knew about Catherine's father. He remembered a day in Austria, back under the sun, sitting by the lake with towel's wrapped around their shoulders, sun-tanned and glowing, when Catherine had fully told George about her father. She had broken down after that, but George just held her under the warm sun, kissed her head softly, and let her cuddle into him. 

A simple gesture to let her know he was there, and he would never let her struggle alone like she did ever again. Bastogne had been far too rough for a woman like herself. Hazel's hit had been what broke her soul, but Bill, Joe and Buck as well as Skip and Penkala had only been adding to that as a lead up. 

George hated seeing Catherine upset.

" This is George Luz, Dad, my boyfriend - from the Airborne." Catherine said as George put a genuine smile on his face. Catherine watched her father look towards George, almost like any Dad would and stick a hand out.

" It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." George said and Catherine had to smile the tiniest bit at the cute way George's eyes seemed to glow. He was so strong.

" It's nice to finally meet you, too." her dad said and Catherine watched her dad even SMILE the slightest bit. 

Her dad? 

Smiling? 

And then her dad started cracking jokes, making a show of slapping George's shoulder when he laughed, leading him to a spot at the table, and to her anger, laughing and smiling and talking all through dinner, like nothing had ever happened. Like there had been no conflict before the war, absolutely nothing of the sort. 

Catherine sat quietly across next to George, as her father continued to make joke after joke. Her mother faked her smiles, her laughs, Catherine could see the sadness in her eyes. Matilda was even a bit more subdue, but the triplets were too oblivious to understand the situation. It hurt, more than it probably should've, but it hurt a lot. 

The only thing keeping Catherine mentally here at the dinner table, was George's hand on her thigh, his thumb softly brushing against the uniform skirt and calming her down, reminding her that he was sitting right there, he was always there. 

He was her only anchor in this moment, as she watched this act being performed like it were some sort of show. 

George's demeanor was more composed and concealed, and he held back a bit. But George's attention was on Catherine, and the way her eyes looked. They didn't look like the happy and bright 2nd Lieutenant from Easy Company that he remembered. If he could just hug her and hold her, and just softly let her fall asleep without a worry in the world he would. Any day of the week he would. 

After dinner, George offered to help her mother with the dishes, after her father had poured a small thing of beer and started telling more jokes, as he wiped down the table. 

Catherine by that point had retreated up to her room - she was tired of her father acting like everything was fine, tired of Matilda and her looks. All of it. This night was supposed to be relaxing, but all Catherine felt was anxious and tension, and pure anger. 

And she had no release. 

She lied in bed in the darkness, in George's PT shirt and her shorts, curled up on her side, listening to the lightly pouring rain outside. Catherine gently brought up George's shirt to her nose and softly brought in the scent of it - it smelled like home - a home that Catherine wanted, a new one. 

Gently the door creaked open and Catherine slowly let her eyes shift towards the source and found George there, the light from the hallway reflecting around his entire being, body silhouetted, before he gently shut the door behind him again. Catherine felt his presence move closer and eventually climb on the bed beside her.

" Hey, cutie." he whispered softly, cuddling right into her back and wrapping an arm around her, nose tickling the skin upon her neck.

" Hi, George." she whispered softly, her voice filled with sadness.

" You doing okay?" he asked her. 

" No." she answered, " And I really want to say that I am...but I'm not." George's heart broke, and a sour feeling filled his chest. Catherine being upset always sent an ache filling his chest. He wished he could make it disappear.

" I'm sorry, Cath." George whispered softly kissing her neck, making her feel more relaxed than she had been in the darkness. 

" I thought it'd be okay at least, but all I can think about is when we finally have our own little home together. This place doesn't even feel like home anymore." Catherine whispered. George only cuddled into her more, and held her close. That's what she needed - she just needed to be held, to be grounded, so that she knew someone was still there - that she wasn't alone in all of this.

" Can you tell me a story, George?" she whispered softly, " Any story?"

" Any story?" George asked softly, his voice excited - she could already hear the smile on his lips as he spoke. Catherine softly turned to face him and saw his eyes glowing in the darkness.

" Any story." she whispered. George grinned.

" Alright," he said sitting up, " c'mere." Catherine slowly sat up a bit and crawled right into his side, as he wrapped an arm over her shoulder and cuddled her closer.

" Which would you like to hear?' George asked her and Catherine softly glanced up towards George with shining eyes.

" A happy one, from Toccoa." she whispered softly, " Please?"

" Well since you asked so nicely." George said and Catherine softly laughed against him, " Ever hear about the spaghetti incident?" Catherine's eyes widened and she let out a laugh.

" What?" she asked laughing and George let out a laugh.

" C'mon the spaghetti incident, you gotta know this." George said through a laugh and Catherine shook her head giggling.

" Even if I did, could you still tell me?" Catherine said and George softly laughed, admiring the way her eyes looked innocent for a moment.

" Of course," he said," Once upon a time, long, long ago in Camp Toccoa, Georgia a striking young man, who just so happens to be your boyfriend, sat down to lunch as it rained cats and dogs outside." Catherine couldn't help but let out a giggle at the supposed storytelling of George Luz - and it made George smirk himself. 

" Captain Sobel had just told us, 'Alright boys, you all have the afternoon off!'" George said in his impersonation of the man making Catherine laugh even more.

" Did he really?" Catherine asked, curious eyes watching George's.

" Yes, really, I remember standing at attention, foot of the bed, with Joe Liebgott on his 2nd cigarette of the morning, saying those words in that exact voice," George said with a chuckle as Catherine giggled.

" Then you know what happened after that handsome and dashing young man finally sat down at that table with his plate loaded with spaghetti?" George said.

" What?" Catherine asked excitedly, nuzzling closer.

" The evil, malicious Captain Dipshit makes his appearance." George said with a heroic look as Catherine giggled, " Stalking in his feet booming against the ground, voice echoing on the walls. But did that handsome young man squirm. Quite possibly. I still remember the words, 'Orders changed, get up. Easy's running Currahee. 3 miles up, 3 miles down.' I swear he thought he was the hero." 

" Oh no," Catherine whispered, but George looked at her with a winning smirk.

" Never fear, Cath," he said, pulling her closer, gazing into her eyes, " this is where that handsome guy I was telling you about comes into play." 

" Do tell," she said and George snickered.

" Well, we're going up the side of this mountain right, and there's people getting sick and stuff, and Sobel's going after people and once he started going after my friends, I said 'no'. To myself of course - and I started singing, you know those paratrooper songs, right. Loud and proud as a peacock I tell ya, and then the whole company was singing - one of my finest moments." George said and Catherine let out a laugh.

" I wish I could've seen that." she said with glowing eyes and George snickered.

" It was quite the sight going up that mountain," George said and Catherine laughed. 

" You've always been quite the singer haven't you?" Catherine said looking up at him with shining eyes. George shrugged with a grin shaking his head.

" I mean ya know here and there when the time comes - Somewhere over the rainbow..." George sang mid sentence, and it sent Catherine into hysterics, laughs leaving her mouth as George cackled himself. 

" You're too funny," Catherine said as George let out another laugh, brushing away those fake tears under his eyes.

" I'm all about making people laugh," George said and Catherine smiled up at him, softly reaching up to gently cup his cheek. 

" I know you are, thank you." she whispered softly and George grinned at her.

" Can I tell you something?" George asked her and Catherine watched him. 

" Hm?" she asked, leaning forward curiously.

" I don't know if you know this, I wouldn't expect you too, but uh, I actually had a crush on you." George said and Catherine watched him with a growing smile and softly blushing cheeks.

" What? George Luz, and you didn't tell me." she said with a smirk, slapping his shoulder lightly as he chuckled.

" Yeah, I mean I didn't think anything would happen. You were a beautiful woman, I figured I didn't have a chance." George said as Catherine pouted at him, reaching her hand up to run it gently through his soft hair, making him smile.

" Aw, George," she said, " but look where you are now." 

" Yeah, yeah, look where we are now." he said and Catherine grinned, " You know when it might've been though?"

" When?" Catherine asked, leaning closer to him, on the bed a smile on her lips.

" That time you and Bill had a drinking contest, you downed all those drinks and beat him to a pulp really, it was awesome really, sure impressed me. Guess that's where you can say I got it." he said and Catherine giggled softly, as George began noticing her reddening cheeks.

" You blushing?" George said and she giggled shaking her head.

" You're making me blush, remember that." she said patting his arm as George chuckled.

" But you want to know something else?" George asked her and she watched him and nodded. 

" I told myself I'd marry you someday, too." George said and Catherine's breath caught in her throat, as she watched George, eyes refusing to move from his own.

" Marry me?" she whispered and George nodded.

" Ever since I came up to you and asked you to watch Seven Sinners with me - I knew you'd put up with my bullshit, Lieutenant." George said, before Catherine watched his hand reach towards his pocket, pulling out a tiny little velvet box in his grasp, his shining eyes slowly making their way up towards hers again.

" George..." she whispered, tears suddenly making another appearance into her vision.

" With you, I can tell I'm a happier person, Catherine. Always, whenever I'm around you, or simply just get to be with you, I know I'm happier. Even back in Austria, sitting on the bed talking about a life together, I was happier, because we were by each other's sides, and I've always wanted that, especially with someone like you." George said, slowly opening up the ring box in front of him towards her with shining eyes, " Will you marry me, Catherine Mae McCown?" 

Catherine's eyes filled with tears. She never thought she'd get a moment like this, where the man she loved, whomever that man was, would ask her to marry her, to be partners in life, husband and wife. 

As a young teenage girl she never thought she'd get this - but sitting here with George, watching him, his entire beautiful being, hold up such a delicate and beautiful ring in front of her, in the soft darkness, in a quiet and intimate moment between the two of them, she couldn't help but break, the tears streaming down her face. 

With George, she didn't have to be someone she wasn't, and now she got to spend the rest of her life with him, and it made her cry harder - happy tears though, always happy tears.

" Yes!" she cried out, " Always, George." George let out a choked chuckle, a few tears now in his own eyes.

" You scared me there for a second, Cath, I wasn't sure if they were happy tears are not." George said and Catherine laughed through her choked up facade.

" Always happy tears," she said as George softly slide the ring up and onto her ring finer. Catherine sniffled, wiping her eye with a smile on her face as she held up her hand towards her face and let out a giggle.

" George it's beautiful," she said, softly gazing at it before meeting his eyes. George watched her lovingly, that handsome smirk on his face as there were practically hearts in his eyes. Catherine couldn't help but lean forward and cuddle him right into a hug, and George promptly pulled her right into his lap, holding her there, hugging her close. 

Sitting there in the dark, wrapped up in George's arm, sent more tears streaming down her cheeks, as she looked at the ring on her finger over his shoulder. It was such a beautiful ring.

" Catherine Luz." she whispered on her tongue and she heard George chuckle before shoving his head further into her neck, his warm breath almost ticklish. George smelled so good as she shoved her own head into his shoulder, just trying to relish a moment like this with him, where it was just the two of them in this world and no one else. 

No war, no grief, no sadness, just pure joy. 

It's all she had ever wanted for him, for the two of them. 

Catherine softly pulled back and gently cupped George's face in her hands, taking in his beauty that night. His smile was too pure for this world, Catherine thought, as she memorized each and every curve of it.

" I love you," she whispered softly, watching as his eyes grew in size, simply just watching her. George didn't hesitate to kiss her then and there, bringing her closer in his arms, as close as he could bring her, loving her, holding her and simply being with her in that moment - it is all the two of them would've wanted.

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_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! this is me just purely screaming because these two babies finally got what they deserved. i'm sorry, i'm too emotional for something like this, this early in the morning, the only thing being coffee in my system. i'm just....after writing this story through quarantine, seeing it slowly coming to a close like this is, about maybe 10 or so chapters from the end, i'm spreading it out as much as i can to keep this story going because i just can't let go of it yet!! if you could imagine LOL :) this story has meant so much to me, so that's really why updates are so spread out at the current moment, this story means too much to just rush the updates for me!! and this chapter, especially for catherine and george has meant more than anything ever. they deserve happiness :)_

_ps - you'll find out more with catherine and her father and that dynamic next chapter - i'm sure there's still a bit of confusion, but it will all be cleared up!! it's a complicated dynamic, but one that is prevalent in many households (not my own, so i don't write from experience) but one i feel is important since so many people feel this way <3_

_thank you all so much! see you in the next update!! :)_


	63. one day

" You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. Do the thing you think you cannot do."

_\- Eleanor Roosevelt_

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The sun was gentle on her face that morning, streaming in through the open window, as a few birds twittered outside the glass. 

Catherine's eyes felt heavy as she slowly let them open and found herself cuddled right into her pillow, with an even warmer body cuddled against her, breathing softly against her skin and smelling like the gentle bout of cologne. 

_George_. His arm held her protectively close to him, under the covers, but against his warm body. And Catherine softly grinned to herself, feeling her cheeks warm just the slightest bit it seemed. Her eyes carried her towards her hand again as memories of late last night overwhelmed her system. 

As everything suddenly came flooding back. 

The ring on her finger glistened in the soft sunlight, making a lazy grin appear on her cheeks as she stared at it. 

_Mrs. Catherine Luz._ She never thought in all her years she would earn someone like George Luz, but lying here, looking at the ring, she did. She truly got someone she wanted to grow old with and have children with and sit and watch the sunrise with. 

George started shifting against her a bit, stretching the tiniest bit it seemed before nuzzling back against her like a child.

" George." she whispered softly, turning her head the slightest bit to find his head of hair shoved into her neck. She smirked the tiniest bit. 

" George Luz." she called lightly again and she felt a tiny chuckle against her, and a tiny laughing noise escape his lips.

" I can hear you, mister." she said and George let out a chuckle against her before pulling back and lazily opening his eyes to meet hers, filled with sleep and love. A lazy smirk appeared on his face as he looked at his fiancée in the fresh morning light, glowing like the sun herself. 

Catherine finally turned herself to lay on her side and look towards him and softly grinned up at him, watching his face so relaxed and gentle in the late hours of the morning. His eyes she felt she could stare at all day, just watching them and how truly beautiful they were. She could lay here forever and simply watch his eyes.

" What?" George asked her as Catherine snapped out of it and finally met his gaze. 

" Nothing....just..." Catherine blushed a bit as she averted her gaze elsewhere. George scooted closer and watched her with a grin.

" What is it?" he asked, " You look like you want to say something." Catherine let her eyes drift back to his and then smiled. 

" You just look so happy." Catherine said, " Like....genuinely happy. And it looks good on you." George watched Catherine and swore he just fell even more in love with her.

" Cath..." George whispered, but Catherine softly scooted even closer to him and watched his eyes up close, their beautiful deep brown watching her own. 

" I mean it, George. I like seeing you happy." she whispered, " The war took so much from us that seeing you truly happy, it makes me happy. You deserve it." 

No one had ever told that to George, that he too deserved happiness. He had been so focused on making sure others were happy that sometimes all alone it was hard to find bouts of happiness in a war like this. Catherine watched a bit of tears well in George's eyes - she'd never seen him cry, only in Bastogne after Bill, Joe and Buck were taken off the line, but never again.

" Hey... George," she whispered, softly cupping his cheek and watching his brown eyes swirl with emotion, " you're going to make me cry." George let out an almost choked chuckle as Catherine sniffled a bit. 

" We don't want that to happen." George said as Catherine giggled a bit. George couldn't help but then pull her straight into his arms and just hold her there in a hug, cuddled in a warm bed, far, far away from war and the memories that surrounded it. 

For a moment it was just the two of them, finally feeling what they deserved to feel for so long - _happiness_. 

Moving down the stairs that morning, George decided to instigate a game of poking Catherine's side and then racing forward, snickering the entire time, as Catherine giggled watching him like he were a child. The two came racing into the kitchen, laughing with bright red cheeks, to find her mother and the triplets there, smiles on their faces.

" Cath, George, didn't think you two would be up this early." her mother said, a jolly laugh leaving her lips as George let out a laugh, wrapping his arm around Catherine's shoulders gently as he did so.

" Yeah well, McGiggles here just couldn't stop giggling." George said as Catherine laughed, making the triplets all start laugh, through the maple syrup and the waffles on their plates.

" Georgie you're so funny!!" Peggy squealed as Molly giggle. Eleanor watched with soft eyes, giggling softly. 

" Am I now?" George said unlooping his arm from Catherine's shoulders to greet the girls, as he crouched near their chairs, a grin on his lips, " You wanna hear a knock-knock joke?" The girls squealed in excitement as Catherine's heart warmed.

" Not the knock-knock jokes." Catherine said, feigning pain as George chuckled, his twinkling eyes watching her own. 

" Knock-knock." George said.

" Who's there!!" cried Molly excitedly as Catherine chuckled, before moving over to her mother who watched with soft eyes as George made the girls laugh. 

Catherine slowly leaned up against the counter beside her mother, the sun streaming in through the nearby window, late autumn air brushing the chilled window panes, sprinkling a soft light on the group of 4. Catherine felt her eyes soften. Marley watched her daughter, looking at George with such love in her eyes, a love that she deserved.

" He's going to make a great dad someday, you know." Marley said, gently placing a hand on Catherine's shoulder. 

Catherine glanced over at her mother and felt tears well her eyes a bit, watching her mother stand there watching her daughter finally happy. Catherine softly glanced towards her hand and slowly raised her hand up.

" Maybe that someday can be soon." Catherine whispered. Marley's eyes caught upon the glitter on her daughter's ring finger and her heart raced a she softly reached forward, grasping her daughter's hand in her own.

" Cath....?" Marley whispered as tears pooled further in Catherine's eyes.

" George asked me to marry him." Catherine whispered back, " And I said yes, Mom." Marley clasped a hand over her trembling lips as she looked up at her daughter, happy-tears welling her vision, joy exploding through the mother and daughter's eyes.

" Oh Cath!" cried Marley, immediately clasping her arm around her daughter, bringing into her warm embrace an holding her child, holding her so close, holding her with such love and care. Catherine squeezed her eyes shut, letting the glassy tears roll down her cheeks, as a small cry escaped her mother's lips for too many different reasons, and for joy. 

Marley pulled back, and softly cupped Catherine's cheeks, watching her daughter, and watching her glow. 

Softly glancing towards where George was, the two women watched as he sat, with Eleanor on his knee, telling a story which left the girls' eyes wide with fascination and adoration. George softly looked away from the trio of girls and lightly laughed before meeting the two other McCown's eyes, gleaming and glowing. 

Marley couldn't help but let a happy laugh past her lips as George grinned. 

It would be alright, it would all be alight. 

Catherine and George packed up their belongings, with help from the girls and Marley. Without so much as a good bye, Matilda had left last night, to head back to her local home down near the river. 

But her father had been there, watching Catherine ad George come down with the last of their bags and Catherine's belongings ready to head out for the Luz family home in Rhode Island, watching George look at his daughter so, completely, in love.

" Cath?" her father said, stepping forward a bit, as Catherine turned from George to look at him. Her smile fell. That hurt, to see a smile like her own so excited, then fall at the sound of her father's voice. She looked like a robot suddenly, shutting down to her usual facade in front of him. 

" Can we talk?" her father asked and Catherine slowly nodded, giving an almost wary glance to George before moving forward. 

Catherine, dressed in her casual dress of skirt and collared shirt, walked forward, down the brightly lit hall towards her father. Catherine could barely make eye contact. Moving towards the office, the two pairs of footsteps slowly traveled down the hall, moving further and further away fro the door. Catherine moved inside the door first, hearing her father gently shut the door behind her as she stood off to the side, towards the window, refusing to even glance in her father's direction. Her father cleared his throat a bit.

" Congratulations," her father said and Catherine felt her shoulders sag the slightest bit as she watched the outside world, the bright sunshine, the crispness of the air brushing the windows, " on the engagement." 

" Thank you." Catherine said, " We have to leave soon." Her voice was so distant fro what it normally was - Catherine didn't even feel like Catherine. 

Maybe the guilt and realization of what her father had done was finally making way to his mind. He had tried so hard to craft another version of himself, so ruthlessly, so angrily, that he didn't realize that complete amount of utter pain that had become of her. He hadn't been a father, he had been making her a pawn. The war had moved her from his grasp, where she had been free. 

Freedom in war? 

There was none, but it was more freedom from such a structured life, more freedom than what she had ever felt.

" The war..." her father started and Catherine shut her eyes.

" It-"

" It changed me. And it made me realize that you can no longer control me to be your perfect little daughter, father. I know what potential I hold. You saw it too, even as I was a child. And you tried to harness it for yourself." Catherine said, her jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, " You were wrong to do that to me, father."

" Catherine-" Catherine turned on her father, eyes narrowed at him. 

" Don't you dare blame this-" Catherine pointed between the two of them, " on me. You were the one so caught up in me, and my capabilities, that you didn't realize that your upbringing put onto me did more damage than good. How can a father of a child he loves not realize that? How?" Her father stared at her, watching her - she was not the little girl who had left for SPARs all those years ago.

" I had more freedom in a war which preserved no freedom for anyone." Catherine snapped, " And it made me realize, that every time you manipulated me, you belittled me, you made me feel small, was all part of a goal you knew you could never accomplish. We're all humans, and no one is alike to another. And I can never apologize to you for not being like you. I would never raise my child to be like who I am. So broken and battered, trying to be this perfect mock-up image for you to pride yourself over. This place is not my home - and you made it that way." Catherine watched him, as he stood scornfully still, unmoving, immobile.

" Say something, father." Catherine said, " For years all you do is say something and now you're silent?" Her words were getting to him, like the echo of is words finally reverberated off the wall after years of wishing they would bounce, finally going back towards him and silencing him. 

" Say. _Something_!" she snapped.

" I'm sorry." her father said, his eyes watching hers with such guilt and pain.

" Sorry won't cut it this time, father. You hurt me, a lot. And you took away my childhood, just so you could have this little perfect princess prancing around to follow in your steps. Well, I've been to war - war didn't make me that way." Catherine said, " If anything I found freedom in war. And someday soon, I hope you do too." The two McCown's watched one another, eyes burning into each other as they stood there staring.

" I wish you well in your future, Catherine," her father said, " I know you'll do well, truly. I've always seen it in you." Catherine felt herself explode on the inside.

" Then why did you treat me like I was trash! Garbage! Making me do everything so perfectly and precisely! What was the point?!" her voice was raising and her blood was boiling and rising, anger in her eyes, " Did you ever think about anyone other than yourself in that point in time?" She was nearing her tip-over, she could feel the tears coming, all the anger and frustration after years and years of endless perfectionism, was finally simmering in her bones.

" WHY?" Her voice broke, it shattered like glass, and her heartstrings yearned in pain. 

" I did it to protect you!" her father suddenly snapped, as Catherine's eyes caught him, " I did all of this to protect you! Have you see this world? Have you seen what it can turn someone into? It turned me, it changed me! All because of what the world had to offer! And I knew....I knew! That if I was able to make you near-unbreakable, that when someday, I die on this Earth, you can take care of yourself! And you don't have to worry about anything. I did this for you!" Catherine stepped back, a trembling footstep arching backwards as her father stood there.

" What was I supposed to do the second you came home and told me that kid was bullying you? Stand around and watch it happen, listen to your stories every night of a kid making fun of my daughter? No..." Her father said shaking his head, " Too many times has that bullshit happened to me, Catherine! Too many, and I wasn't able to see you go the same way. And I tried and I'm sorry if I hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I would ever wish to do to someone like my own daughter. I just wanted to help. That's it, that's all I ever wanted and wished to do for you."

" Then why didn't you treat Matilda and the others the same?" Catherine asked, as a tear streaked down her face. Her father watched her and she watched him back.

" It was wrong of me but I didn't know what else to do, look, the other 6 were not bullied like you were Catherine, and I was not going to stand around and watch." her father said, " You were the only one that took my help. And even if the help was me, yelling like a drill sergeant, then I'm sorry, I should've tried better, harder, I wasn't a proper father to someone like you. And I'm sorry, to have hurt you." Catherine watched him, as tears streamed down her cheeks. 

Catherine remembered the little girl who bullied her in grade school on the playground. And her oblivion as a child, never noticed her father on the park bench, watching his daughter take it all, come under fire, like she would soon on D-Day, with no escape. It's why he had done what he'd done. And he'd done t for her - not himself, like she had thought. But for her. But he'd done it so wrongly, so angrily, so consistently, that she couldn't help but look back and see the good. But he'd done it for her. 

And somehow, it made her stronger. 

Catherine watched her father, eyes really watching him.

" Is that true?" she whispered, as tears fell past her cheeks to her lips.

" Every word, Cath." her father said and Catherine's eyes welled further. But the truth was hard to take, hard to stomach.

" I'm going to be going now." Catherine said, as she put her hands to her eyes and wiped at the, noticing the slight puffiness around the lids that would remain for a bit. Her father watched her, knowing he had said all he could - but the truth was out there now. And it was out for them both. Catherine slowly approached her father and looked at him. 

" One day, hopefully, when the war is long gone, I can feel like your daughter again and I can look back and be thankful for what you taught me. But for now, I can't be, because of how wrongly you treated me. One day." her words were firm and it settled into her father's own being. With a simple dip of his head, it was enough to leave Catherine with her chin held high, turning away from the man, pridefully. 

Shutting the oak door behind her, Catherine pushed that part of her life, back in that office, in that space, where she hoped those words would never leave that room. And she hoped her father, for whatever he lived by, lived with those words. 

Because one day Catherine McCown hoped to make amends, before her time on this Earth was up. But for the moment, she was about to start a new life, with someone she loved, with someone she cared for, with the love of her life. 

And that made her smile, approaching the door, where George stood, tightly hugging Marley, in a warm hug, filled with such a strong motherly love, that made Catherine grin. When the two pulled back, they turned towards Catherine, who slowly approached with a smile.

" Where's your father?" Marley asked, with gentle eyes. Catherine smiled softly.

" The office - he'll be okay. Just like I was." Catherine said as Marley smiled a bit. Catherine then softly met George's eyes who twinkled as he watched her.

" You ready to go, Cath?" George asked her and Catherine nodded. The twins were adamant on helping George put the luggage in Catherine's parents old '38 Nissan, before racing around, giggling. 

And by the time the final hug had been delivered, Catherine was in the car, rolling back and away from her childhood home, for good, leaving the memories, the good and the bad, where they were. 

There was no use forgetting, simply just living was far greater. 

✰✰✰

 _AH YES! so....we have finally learned more upon catherine + her father's relationship together. definitely one that is odd, but possibly quite common amongst many households. definitely a relationship where her father wished only the best for her, and tried his best to help her but in the end, it had a negative effect upon catherine and the war helped her realize that in many senses! so i hoped this answered all your questions!! :) thank you for reading as always!! a few more chapters with this adorable duo and then it's lizzie's turn - and let me just say, it is not the happiest of times :(_

_\+ and i felt this was an appropriate quote because, in a way, catherine finally builds up the courage to face her father, after so many years of letting it get to her :)_


	64. the art of eye contact

" Eye contact is way more intimate than words will ever be."

_\- Faraaz Kazi_

✰✰✰

George had rolled down the windows of the old Nissan, letting in the fresh mountain breeze in. It was like they were in Austria again, strolling the cobblestone streets as the sun shone brightly down on top of them, watching a freed country, a war-free world finally feel the liberation that they had deserved years before.

George softly glanced over to look towards Catherine and he swore his eyes softened at the sight. Head looking out the window, as her hair flew out behind her, her face glowing like the sun, the center of his universe, and looking so free - so free. He couldn't remember the last time a smile was unmaintainable on his lips, his corners poking up onto his face, glee filling his soul. It was a euphoric feeling that he wished would never disappear. 

George let his eyes briefly move over towards Catherine again and smiled softly, eyes filled with an ethereal and a tender love. 

His mind wandered back to Aldbourne - after Normandy had taken so much from the company, after they had returned battered and filled with the horrors of war - after Catherine had finally made it back to the company. George remembered the feeling that had flooded his system the minute Hazel had told him about Catherine and what had happened to her. 

Of course, admiration from afar was not something George was keen on taking up, he rather flirted his way in, rather confidently too. 

But with Catherine, it was no secret that she had intimidated a majority of the guys upon introduction, but for some reason, that drew George's eyes more than normal - where ever she appeared, or even went, his eyes were on her. He had been infatuated. 

So upon hearing she was injured, wounded, distraught and taken from a battle she was born for, he was saddened. And seeing her come back, bright eyed, so joyful, so unbothered seemingly from that wound, made a smile appear on his face - he remembered how that smile had felt. It was quite a nice smile. 

George remembered that night, late August of 1944, where the sun was still out late into the evening, the towns women and towns men, gathering at the pubs after working long hours in the shops or fields, and the crickets chirping gently, their quiet symphony a hum in the breeze. 

_Yeah_ , George remembered that night vividly - it was the first night he had properly spoken to the Lieutenant that his eye always managed to catch ahold on. It was like it was yesterday. 

George had sat in the corner in one of the booths in the bar, a joking grin spread on his lips, as Bill leaned forward a bit to tell one of the jokes he always seemed to throw around. A cold beer in his grasp, George slowly lifted the glass to his lips, briefly pulling from the conversation to let his gaze linger a bit on the townspeople packed into the tiny pub. His eyes stopped suddenly, catching the figure of a familiar Lieutenant slipping into the bar, trying her best it seemed to remain unnoticed. 

But George noticed her - _immediately_. 

The way she tried to subtly close the door behind her, almost without making a sound, the pristine uniform softly pressed, her wings on display for all to see, catching the light that shined from the ceiling every so often, and her dark locks, gently brushing her cheeks - like she had just rushed out from somewhere to make it in time to the pub. 

George's breath caught in his throat as he realized the faint blush on her cheeks, the nervous way she tucked the strand of hair hanging in her face a bit behind her ear, and the cautious way her eyes seemed to travel around the pub just like what his own had been doing previously.

" George," a voice said and immediately George snapped his head back to look towards the group who was now watching him, rather curiously, trying to pick out what George had seen himself. Bill raised a brow towards him, and Joe Toye's slight smirk was something to scorn at. Joe Liebgott and his stupid grin wasn't particularly enjoyable either, as Malarkey and Skip, without their third partner in crime, Penkala chuckled with each other briefly. 

" Sorry," George said letting his eyes roam for a brief moment again, only to feel his neck flush a bit when he noticed her approaching the table and he swallowed what flush he could, to at least conceal it below the uniform for what it was worth.

" Hey guys," a voice said and the group looked to see Lieutenant Catherine McCown there, a slight grin on her face as she stood there, " mind if I join you?" 

" Hey there, Lieutenant, yeah, yeah, c'mon.." Bill said, sliding over a bit to make room for her, a bit into Toye's side, earning a disgruntled complaint from the man.

" Thanks," Her answer seemed breathless, a bit tiredly, exhaustedly, yet relieved. George glanced over towards her briefly from where she sat, an almost effortless smile on her face as those few pieces of hair framed her flushed cheeks, a calming aura circling the table of men as she sat like an angel amongst the weary. 

" How's the leg?" Liebgott asked, leaning forward a bit, as he sipped his beer, taking in a few gentle gulps, as he raised a brow.

" Fine, just fine. I have bigger issues up at Battalion to worry about than this thing." she said, Bill chuckling a bit at her comment as Malarkey snickered.

" Care to enlighten us?" Skip urged on, as George glanced back own towards his drink - his palms were sweaty - why were they SWEATY?

" Gladly," Catherine said - there was that laugh again, " it seems we're putting our trust in the Brits after all."

" Your kidding me right?" Toye said, leaning forward a brow arched up as he watched her.

" Wish I was." she answered him with a small nod, and George watched as a small frown seemed to fall on her lips a bit. George studied her from the corner of his eye. 

" Well then maybe this bullshit will be over by Christmas then," Liebgott retorted, leaning back in the booth a bit, as he sipped the beer in his grasp.

" Well, I admire your confidence, Joe, but it's easier said than done." Catherine said with a smirk, as Liebgott rolled his eyes. 

" Anyway, you seen Hazel?" Liebgott asked, as he took down the rest of his beer, " She beat me in darts the other day, and well it's time for revenge." Catherine snickered.

" She's probably not here," Catherine said, " She was helping Grace the last I saw of her." Liebgott's eyes softened briefly at the thought and he nodded. 

" Well, looks like I'm calling it a night." Liebgott said as he moved himself out of the bar stool and George watched him with a raised eyebrow.

" Already?" Skip pondered and Liebgott glared.

" Yeah. So the fuck what." Liebgott said, the heat that had been on his neck, crawling to his cheeks, reddening faster and faster.

" Tell Hazel hello for me." George said with twinkling eyes, a smirk on his face as Joe couldn't contain the blush anymore.

" Shut up." snapped Joe before turning and trudging out like the hot-head he was. The table burst into snickers the minute Joe was gone. 

George caught Catherine's eye briefly and for a moment, he nearly choked on the air inside of his lungs as she laughed, laughed at his joke. And there was the heat rising in his neck again, attempting to claw at his cheeks somehow. 

Then a small smile bloomed on Catherine's face, a sweet one, where George swore that flowers could grow, but then she was turned away laughing at Joe Toye's joke. George felt his heart clench as he glanced back down towards his beer.

" Hey, guess who got beer!" a voice called and the table turned to see Lizzie and Tab, loads of fresh beer in their hands as they paraded off like a load of saints. 

" The two stooges." deadpanned George, making the table cackle at his comment as the two chuckled

" Man I wish." Tab said as Lizzie clambered into Joe's empty seat and Tab followed, resulting in a shoving match of who was taking up more space. 

" What took you so long?" Catherine said with a smirk, leaning forward to take one of the beers from their stash as she had nothing, but an intoxicating want to grab the drink from the table over.

" Hey, aw c'mon Lieutenant." complained Tab as Lizzie glared.

" Don't be so butt hurt, Tab, you got plenty more beers coming your way, don't you worry." Lizzie said sarcastically as Tab rolled his eyes.

" And I spent my early days of the Normandy campaign with you." 

" That's called a blessing not a curse."

" What dictionary did you read in school?"

" Not the one you read."

" Ok, you two, lord have mercy." Skip said, halting the chatter and banter from their side, making the medic and the Sergeant glare at one another briefly, before passing a beer back and forth - at least it was mutual.

" There's no way you two are taking in all this beer alone." Catherine said, eyeing the large bottles of lukewarm beer and then looking at the two fairly drunk people in front of her as Bill snickered.

" Ever heard of a drinking contest?" Bill stated and George immediately looked towards Bill within seconds, eyes studying Bill as he proposed it.

" I don't live underground, Sergeant, I'm not an idiot just yet." Catherine said back making Bill chuckle.

" You on, then? Back in '42, I took down one in under 9 seconds." Bill said confidently, as Catherine smirked.

" Sounds like the time to beat." she said as Bill smirked. George's gentle eyes watched Catherine laugh at Bill - for a moment, he couldn't deny it - there was a sprinkle of jealousy where George wished it were himself beside Catherine making her laugh. His heart pounded ruthlessly inside his chest, and he blamed it on the sweaty hands.

" You on, Lieutenant?" Toye asked leaning forward, as he slid a fresh drink across the table, which she caught cleanly in her palm. Catherine smirked at the challenge and brushed the few strands of hair from her hot cheeks with a grin. George watched as Catherine looked to Bill and smirked.

" Watch and learn, Sergeant Guarnere." she said, and quickly, slid the top of the beer bottle right down upon the edge of the table, popping the top clean off onto the wooden surface, with a wide smirk. Drawing up the beer bottle in front of her, Catherine held out her beer towards Bill as if it were a toast and smirked pridefully.

" Ready?" she asked and Bill's eyes widened for a moment. Intimidation - she always intimidated. But Bill wasn't one to back down from a challenge. 

" Always, Lieutenant." he said as the two clinked glasses. And with that they were taking down the beers. 

George watched with wide eyes, just like the general majority of the rest of the table, as Catherine, with her pink cheeks, sickly sweat hair clinging to her neck and forehead, beads of perspiration falling from her forehead, finish the bottle with ease, before slamming it down on the table with a grin. 

George's eyes grew as Catherine briefly glanced at the table - in a second their eyes were interlocked with one another and she winked cockily, almost like she knew she'd win this, before turning back with a challenging smirk to Bill who slammed his own bottle down. 

George's cheeks flamed with heat suddenly - she had _WINKED_. He was sweating all over, the uniform suddenly itching at his neck as he sat there, watching all of this. 

Toye slid two more beers towards them as Catherine and Bill watched each other with equally intense smirks on their faces.

" You scared yet there, Sarge, you look a little pale." Catherine said, as she hit the top of the bottle again, against the wooden table, her eyes glowing like a lion ready to prowl, jumping out from its cage, claws at the ready. Bill grumbled.

" You wish." he said and Catherine smirked. Lizzie leaned forward grinning, and George watched Lizzie send a wink to Catherine with an equally intense smirk - they knew Catherine would win. And then they were drinking again, taking down the liquid in the bottle. 

George felt his heart beating, faster and faster, his pulse rising, the heat barely enough to be held back by the collar around his neck, as he watched her slowly pull the bottle effortlessly from her lips and smirk at Bill, who managed to finish his, grimacing a bit as Catherine grinned.

" Damn, Lieutenant." Malarkey muttered, eyes wide as he watched her grin, looking like a child again, not the Lieutenant downing drinks with ease. George's heart gave a bit, he wanted to say something funny, to make the whole tale laugh, but his mind was preoccupied with the prideful brunette. 

When the third beer had been slid into their hands - mind you Bill had previously been 2 drinks in already, and Catherine had come from Nixon and Harry's company where there was bound to be a flask already passed around - everyone knew this was far from just a third. The only one showing evident signs was Bill, as Catherine sat upright, taking the third bottle into her hand and knocking the top off with ease. Bill squinted a bit, before doing a double blink and readjusting himself properly.

" Ready?" Catherine asked, a grin on her rosy cheeks as Bill grumbled. 

Catherine finished first again, and watched as Bill struggled to even finish the third. Finally slamming down his bottle, he put a hand to the bridge of his nose and let out a sigh, as liquid sloshed around in that half filled bottle.

" I can't drink anymore of that." Bill said, shoving the drink away as Catherine grinned.

" How the fuck you not feeling like shit?" Bill said watching as Catherine brushed hair behind her ear and smirked with a shrug.

" Guess you could say I was fun to bring to bars." Catherine said with a shrug, " Parties were a big no, but bars - now you're talking." The group chuckled as Bill smirked.

" Well you win this time Lieutenant," Bill said with a chuckle, as Catherine smirked.

" Round two." offered Catherine pulling his half finished beer into her grasp and taking down the rest with a smile.

" That's my Lieutenant!" cheered Skip as George let a smirk dawn on his face, glancing up softly towards Catherine who lowered the bottle from her lips and grinned looking towards Skip. But it seemed her own eyes caught on George again and she grinned, almost nervously biting back her lip, before her cheeks grew to red to bare it anymore and focused again on Skip who was telling a joke.

" I always knew you were crazy, Lieutenant, like a god crazy." Skip said.

" Like the crazy that would definitely be identified as 101st crazy." Malarkey said as the group laughed.

" Yeah, crazy got us through some shit didn't it." George joked as the group broke into snickers, and he briefly watched Catherine let out a laugh that sent her eyes shut as she chuckled. 

" Nah, nah the best was that impression of Horton, out in the fields, oh god Cath, you should've heard it, Sobel looked like a total jackass, listening to this guy play a Major for a minute." Skip said laughing as George smirked. Lizzie chuckled, slapping the table as she did so.

" Oh my god, Cath you should've heard it. I've told you it a million times but hearing it with your own ears, it's too funny." Lizzie said as Catherine looked over at the man, who, more quiet than usual tonight sat already looking at her with a smirk on his face. She grinned.

" Care to impress?" Catherine said with a smirk and George felt a confident grin spread on his features, chuckling to himself. 

" Yeah, c'mon finally hearing about it for months on end anyway." Bill said and George smirked.

" Your wish is my command." George said and cleared his throat. Catherine laughed lightly and George felt his heart miss the slightest bit. George stood and set himself, meeting the awaiting eyes of the people at the table.

" What is the _god_ - _damn_ holdup, _Mr_. Sobel!" George said, and almost immediately chuckles and laughs were let out around the group.

" Well, that dog just ain't gonna hunt." George imitated, bringing his eyes around the group in his serious facade, making even more laughs escape until George was doubled-over laughing himself, his eyes never failing to draw directly onto Catherine again, who laughed loudly, clapping her hands together, before looking towards George. And for that singular split second, their gazes locked again, where their eyes shined and glowed and George was pretty sure his heart lodged inside his throat. 

" Excuse me," a voice said and the chuckles around the table died down a bit as everyone's attention was drawn to the man approaching the table, a dashing smile on his features, and bright, blue eyes, softly gazing right at Catherine. 

There was a Lieutenant bar on his collar, similar to Catherine's. 

George's heart dropped as he slowly turned to look fully towards him, watching as the man's eyes were on Catherine almost the entire time. George couldn't help but let his jaw clench.

" Hi," Catherine said, rather confidently, but passively in a way, almost raising her eyebrow up to question why he had approached the table. 

" Would you care to dance? I couldn't help but notice you when you entered." he said. He hadn't been alone then - George had noticed her as well, he had the entire time. Catherine smirked.

" Sure," she said, confidently standing," I'm quite the dancer, so uh, get ready there Lieutenant." The man laughed at her comment as she took his arm and was lead away laughing. 

George couldn't compete with a Lieutenant. 

George watched them move towards the dance floor, laughing - and he should be happy for her, seeing her happy, being happy, after the pain she had gone through, but his heart felt otherwise. It ached.

" Hey, you okay, George?" Lizzie asked quietly, bringing his attention back to the table that watched him cautiously, " You zoned out for a bit." George swallowed. 

" Fine," he said, sitting back down, " fine, fine, fine, I just remembered one of those towns women was supposed to meet me here, guess she didn't show." His heart gave at the sentence. 

There was no towns woman - it was just Catherine.

" Aw buddy I'm sorry, they missed quite the catch." Tab said apologetically. George managed a smile with a nod and then shrugged.

" What can you do." His heart ached, it physically ached more than he would imagine seeing Catherine one minute laughing at his joke and then moving away with a handsome Lieutenant. He shouldn't be bothered. But he was.

" I'm gonna go take a smoke." he said, standing, reaching into his pocket, to pull out one of the smokes he had left over from his pack, " I'll be back." And with that he was moving away, sadness warping his normally happy heart. 

What was wrong with him? 

What he didn't know was that Catherine was watching him too. 

George stepped outside and inhaled a warm gust of night air and sighed to himself, outside of the pub, the warm air and intoxication of grief that filled his heart. Turning he moved to lean up against the cobblestone wall and sighed as he watched citizens walk the streets, chattering in the summer nigh as the crickets sang their pitiful tune. George couldn't do anything except bring the cigarette to his lips, laying it gently there, before lighting it up quickly. 

For a few moments, he watched mellowly as people walked back joyful, laughing, talking, store fronts closed up for the night, and cars moved through the streets. 

God, what was wrong with him. 

He stood there for a while, watching people move in and out, couples, friends, groups, he just worked with the cigarette.

" Hey," a voice said and George was quick to look over and see the pink faced Lieutenant standing right beside him, smiling up at him, her eyes glowing their brilliant blue, a soft smile spreading across her lips. 

" Hey," George said, an automatic smile lighting up his own face making Catherine grin wider at he smile on his face, " how's it going, Lieutenant?"

" Oh, c'mon George, it's Catherine." she said and took up a spot leaning up against the wall next to him, making George chuckle quietly. 

" Care for some?" George offered the cigarette towards her and she smiled up at him with a nod, and took it from him.

" Thanks," she said and took a gentle puff before blowing it out into the breeze. George watched her softly, as she licked her lips, and then felt her warm cheek briefly before brushing a stroke of hair behind her ear, smiling gently. When she looked back up, he was already looking at her again. 

" Were you okay back there? You seemed quiet...at the table I mean, and then you left. I saw you...not to be weird or anything, but just wanted to make sure you were okay." she told him, genuinely concerned for him. Her big blue eyes looked up at his worriedly.

" Oh yeah, me? Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it." he said with a slight chuckle. He wasn't about to tell her it was because it wasn't him making her laugh. Catherine let out a tiny giggle and smirked.

" Well, alright then," she said and passed him back the cigarette," don't tell me it's one of these towns women."

" How'd you know?" George said weakly and Catherine didn't miss the one of his voice.

" Just a guess," she said shrugging her shoulders, " they're missing out on a great guy." Her smile was sweet, genuine and soft. George smiled back a bit.

" Thanks for that." he said as he took a small puff himself and Catherine grinned with a nod. Gently and rather affectionately shoving his shoulder, she smiled up at him.

" I mean it, okay? I'm sorry about what girls do sometimes, I saw it all the time back at Cornell." she told him, sympathetically, and George half smiled as his heart slowly pulsed faster. The two watched each other softly, eyes melting together under the moonlight as the Lieutenant stood beside the Radio Operator. George looked away - he couldn't get caught off guard not yet.

" So, what happened to McDreamy back there?" George asked, forcing a smirk on his face as Catherine, slightly oblivious to his feelings, chuckled a bit. 

" He was nice to dance with, but uh...all he could talk about was how beautiful I was. Like...it's a nice compliment, but there's more than a pretty face to a person." Catherine said, shrugging a bit, " It's not for me." George looked over at Catherine, as she bit back her lip, and her eyes gazed off a bit.

" You're really smart." George said - he couldn't contain himself - I mean she was smarter than half the guys combined - and the presentation off the top of her head before D-Day - damn. Catherine looked up at George and chuckled at him. 

" Thanks," she said, a slight blush filtering back onto her cheeks that time as she laughed lightly, " thank you for that." George smiled softly.

" Some guys just.....they don't look past the surface I guess." George said looking towards the ground with a shrug, " I mean, sure a pretty face's a pretty face, but there's more to life than what you see." Catherine softly looked up at him and smiled, a soft blow of air following from her nose and she nodded. Then George looked at her quickly.

" You're alright though, right? He didn't say anything to upset you or-"

" George, I'm fine, its okay," she said laughing lightly, " but thanks for being my knight in shining armor there." God she had the purest laugh. George smiled gently and nodded. 

" Wanna finish this smoke and head back in?" George offered," Free chance to complain about your favorite topic." Catherine let out a hysterical laugh at him taking the smoke from his fingers into her own and nodded.

" That'd be nice." she said as George chuckled. They shared a cigarette under the spotlight that night - yeah George remembered it well. 

Catherine might've not known his feelings or infatuation with her, but to just be alone for once, with a cigarette between them, it had been nice to be with her alone and make her feel better. 

George softly glanced over in the vehicle towards Catherine again, letting the sun warm her face even more. Glancing towards him, Catherine met his eyes and smiled.

" What?" she asked with a small grin, " You have that dorky face, the cute one though." George chuckled softly.

" Nothing just...." if he had a camera in that moment, he'd capture the way her eyes seemed to smile and her face glowed, " happiness looks good on you." Catherine blushed a bit and smirked at him.

" Stealing my line, Mr. Luz?" she said and George let out a laugh.

" Yes ma'am." he said and turned, before giving her a solid wink, " Mrs. Luz." 

✰✰✰

_AHHHHHH YES! i was so excited to post this chapter, just for so many reasons - because in actuality, this was supposed to be a featured scene back in The Soldier of Stars, but I cut it last minute because I thought it'd give too much away far too early - so I figured a flashback in the era of postwar would be much better!! And I'm happy I did it this way :) Plus just some cute George/Catherine moments for you all - i needed it LOL there's two more chapters with these two and then we FINALLY get to see Lizzie and what she's been up to - and fair warning, she's not in the best place :(_

_Thanks for reading! <3_


	65. home

" You feel like home and everywhere I've never been, all at once."

_\- butterflies rising_

✰✰✰

The sun on her face was welcoming enough to nearly send her asleep by that point and the smooth rolling of the car down the long streets through the valleys below mountains was sure a sight to behold. 

Catherine softly smiled to herself and then turned and glanced briefly towards George who relaxed comfortably in the vehicle, one hand resting on the steering wheel loosely, as the other sported his shiny watch from Carentan that he liked to go on about, running through his hair every so often as he did so, a lazy smile on his face as he stared forward towards the horizon, in his own little world that Catherine managed to peak in on. 

Sighing softly to herself, Catherine leaned up against the window again and let her mind drift a bit, back to Haguneau, after the news of the patrol had been canceled officially and she was about to get a full night's rest, the first after a while. She had just clarified with Speirs before he had sent her off to rest, a small smile on his tired face, which signaled he needed sleep as well. 

Catherine had gone and visited Hazel, yes that was right. 

And Hazel had told Catherine, on that darkened bombed out balcony about her love for Joseph Liebgott. Catherine always had Hazel's innocently distraught face in her mind for days afterward, to see her so truly in love with Joe Liebgott and realizing the war was still going on and was still destroying the world around them. 

Love had prevailed. 

Catherine remembered standing out by the embankment that night, helmet pushed down over her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks, with her arms stiffly crossed over her chest, and her lip trembling. She remembered the cold that had bit at her fingertips and the icy way her cheeks were kissed by the wind. 

She had got into the CP late that night, her feet moving almost sluggishly across the ground as she entered the slightly darkened room, a small fire in the pot belly stove nearby glowing with as much might as it could the surrounding rooms. 

Catherine's glassy eyes slowly caught on the warmth and slowly picked her way towards it, briefly glancing over and seeing Captain Speirs passed out, looking pass exhausted at this point on the couch that Lip had previously occupied, on the opposite side of where the stove was. She smiled sadly. She had never seen their CO with his guard down and so vulnerable in a war like this. 

But sometimes even he remained strong for too long. 

Catherine slowly caught the blanket over the chair and brought it into her arms before glancing back towards the CO. She slowly took a few steps closer to him and then gently laid the blanket across his figure, before cuddling it up around his neck and tucking it in gently to make sure he was warm enough. He cared for the company so much that sometimes even he needed to be cared for.

Speirs barely moved at her touch, but she noticed he seemed to fall into an even deeper sleep and that was all that mattered to her in that moment. 

Softly moving fully to her feet again she wrapped her arms around herself and moved over towards the potbelly stove to warm her numbed fingertips the best she could before she'd head back out to make sure all the platoons and CP and the medics were getting the rest they needed. 

Catherine crouched before the stove and gently removed the gloves from her hands and pushed them towards the stove, eventually feeling the bits of warmth breaking through the layers and finally warming her up, even if it was just the littlest bit being warmed. 

Suddenly she felt something draped around her shoulders and was immediately encased by the warmth of whatever this was. It was a blanket. Catherine softly turned and glanced up towards the source and found George Luz looking at her, his face aglow with the light from the stove, his warm brown eyes watching her with such care, and a gentle smile glowing on his lips.

" George..." her voice had cracked as she said his name, she remembered the slight falter in her tone and the way George's smile had fell the slightest bit as well. 

" Hey, Lieutenant." he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he slowly sat down beside her and glanced at her, " Figured you were cold, you looked cold, and well, there was a spare blanket." Catherine smiled softly and cuddled the blanket closer and nodded, relishing the bits of warmth the blanket was able to provide to her freezing body.

" Thank you, George." she said, feeling her throat tighten up a bit at even just speaking - her voice like a vase on the edge of a table ready to fall to the ground and shatter into a million tiny pieces of her soul. George noticed the fresh tears that were in her eyes, as the way her nose remained bright red and this time it wasn't from the cold. 

" You okay?" he asked her softly. Catherine stared at the crackling fire in the little stove as the light illuminated her face, spreading across her entire body. Her eyes slowly filled with more tears at his simple question - because no one ever asked if she was okay, no one ever worried for her wellbeing - she was a Lieutenant, she didn't need checking up on. But with that simple question it damn near broke her. But she nodded.

" Yeah." she managed out, trying to nod, trying to show that by nodding, it was holding her from breaking completely. She slowly turned to meet George's eyes which watched her softly, trying to search her eyes for an answer as the two sat side by side lost in the way the other's eyes tried their best to heal the wounds the other felt so very deeply. 

" George..." she whispered, as a tear crawled down her cheek, the fire making it the feature of her face to stand out the most, "...I tried." George softly scooted closer to her to really look into her eyes and simply just hold her gaze with his, just to be able to look into her eyes and see the beauty even with the waterfall of tears that were on the verge of escaping.

" I know you did." George whispered softly, his hand briefly reaching up to wipe the tear from her cheek, her body yearning for more warmth than what his finger on her cheek provided. She wanted to be held by him, she wanted him to take her into his arms and tell her it would be okay, that all of this would go away, that this pain would soon be taken over by something other than the ache inside her heart. 

" Not hard enough." she managed out as George felt his heart give a deep and dull ache from somewhere inside his chest, " I feel so guilty, for everything. And I take it all in, all of it, and it just builds and builds until I absolutely lose my mind. There's days where...." her voice cracked as another boiling hot tear streaked down her face, " I don't know who I am, I don't even feel like myself. Bill and Joe, I could've, I could've done something...George."

" Hey, Cath, hey, hey, look at me," George whispered," yeah it's okay, look at me, the guy with the dorky face." Catherine couldn't help but let out something between a chuckle and a sob. George's warm hand on her cheek, brought a comfort she didn't know she had needed, feeling his calloused thumb brushing away the tears that rolled down her cold face. When she met his eyes, a warmth had filled her, and set her lip from quivering for a moment as she watched George's brown eyes. 

For a moment, it felt like home. 

Watching his eyes still manage to see past all the pain her own withheld.

" If Bill and Joe saw you now, with what you've done for these men, for this company, keeping yourself together, going around on sleepless nights, making sure they're all rested up, they're eating, that mentally they're okay, that simply you put them before yourself. I don't even know how to describe how proud they'd be of you right now, Cath. They love you, so much, Cath. They're your brothers and they love you. And seeing what you've done, they'd be so proud of you, Lieutenant." George whispered softly as Catherine's heart gave in evident pain.

" But you're not alone okay? And I know you're suffering, and I won't ignore that. And I won't let you try to take care of yourself alone either. You may think you're fine taking care of yourself alone, but I know you're not. And if I can just sit here with you and just be with you to let you know that, then I'd rather do this than any other thing in the world right now." George whispered as tears dripped from her blue eyes as she watched George with a trembling lip, the words spilling from his mouth and flowing into her ears. 

Because for a moment, she wasn't alone and there was someone sitting right there, holding her so close and caring simply for her. She wasn't alone anymore in this, having to patch the wounds on her heart and fix it with a bright smile and encouraging words, she didn't have to do that anymore. 

Because George was there. 

Slowly scooting forward, she closed the tiny gap between them and hugged him, really hugged him, wrapping her arms around his body, and absolutely crumbling, her face contorting in utter pain as her body yearned for the warmth he provided. And George's arms wrapped around her so tight, pulling her as close as he could. 

Catherine's tears soaked the front of his ODs, as her weak fist balled into a fist, grasping the front. But he smelled like pine. A gentle scent that entered her system and sent her cuddling into him even more, shutting her eyes, as her innocent, stuttering cries for a breath of air were taken in by his uniform and never let out again. 

His other hand was on the back of her head, and she could feel the gentle kisses that he pressed into her hair - what he didn't realize was how soothing his gentle touch was on her weary body, to for once feel the touch of another human caring for her and letting her vulnerability be the only thing important for them in that moment. His touch was keeping her from losing her entire mind, his gentle grasp, the way he let her just cry and didn't try to justify it with the virtual use of words others decided were best. 

Because sometimes just the touch of another person was comfort enough. 

Late into the night, into the early hours of the next day, they were there, in each other's arms, trying to patch what wounds they could of each other's hearts, trying to mend their broken souls, patch it up with what they could in that moment. 

Catherine had run out of tears by 0400, her throat dry from heaving cries out of her system, her eyes scratchy and red, and her cheeks stained with an emotion she didn't even know would leave her system. 

And George was still there, his chin gently resting upon her head, which lay cuddled underneath. Her finger played with the loose string on his jacket, her white fingertips feeling the gentle fabric underneath in the slightest bit, in the darkness. She felt George briefly pulled the blanket up around her softly again, the soft rumble inside of his chest, the evident chuckle in his chest making a soft smile glow on her lips.

" Tuck you in..." he mumbled slightly under his breath and Catherine softly smiled again, moving her hand to swipe underneath of her eye again. 

" You need rest." Catherine whispered, her throat still raw with touches of emotion, " I need to head out to check the guys anyway."

" I'm fine, I can promise ya that, Cath, alright. Champion all-nighter back home." George said and Catherine giggled softly.

" Why? Did you not do all your homework or something?" she said with a chuckle and heard the vibrations from George's chest as the signal.

" You know me very well, Lieutenant." George answered her and Catherine let out a tiny laugh that settled George's heart for that moment. Catherine slowly sat up and looked at George in the darkness of the CP, the fire in the potbelly stove, having long ago gone out like a light. 

" I just....I need to make sure they're alright." Catherine said softly, watching his eyes, the deep and darkening brown of them watching her back. It was like his eyes knew he couldn't hold her back, even if he so badly wanted to. George nodded, a small smile growing on his lips as he watched her. 

Catherine watched him, taking in his features for a moment when it grew quiet, and all you could hear was the rushing water in the nearby Rhine river, faintly but there. The slight scruff across his sunken in cheeks, the way his tired eyes grew with the stress lines at the corners, his mused up hair hanging in his eyes a bit, but the same smile just like back in England that he always wore. 

Catherine softly smiled, a pained smile that had seen war's grief and softly cupped his cheek in her slightly cold palm, the blanket sliding down from around her for a brief moment. Then Catherine softly, on his other cheek, pressed a soft kiss there, a tender touch which caused George's eyes to flutter close for a moment. 

Catherine knew she should've done a small peck, but George deserved far better than that, as she then softly slid her arms around his neck and pulled him into her arms in a warm hug.

" Thank you, George." she whispered, her eyes still slightly sad as she hugged him warmly, " Thank you." George smiled, she could feel the way with her face pressed against his, and the way his dimple seemed to appear. 

" Always." George whispered softly back to her as Catherine squeezed him tighter, just to solidify that in this moment, it was her and George and there was nothing else going on in the world beside this hug, this moment, where two humans simply wrapped their arms around one another to show that they cared. To show that they cared for each other. A hug meant more than what 1000 words spoken from a trembling lip could. 

Catherine sucked in a tiny breath and then gently pulled back and watched him, not hesitating to gently brush the hair from his eyes a bit so she could really see his beautiful, brown eyes for what they were. And she smiled, a brief, fleeting, spure of the moment smile, but a smile. George grinned seeing that smile on her lips grow.

" I'll be seeing you, George." she said softly and George cracked out a grin to her as she smiled, " Thank you." George's gentle dip of his head was enough for her to pull the blanket off of her body and gently lean forward to wrap it around him, cuddling it up under his chin, tucking it in, and making sure he was warm.

" Get some rest." she whispered softly and George lazily smiled at her.

" Knowing you're better I will now." he said and Catherine smiled in the darkness. 

" I just...it's hard to deal with it all on your own, and having you there...I can't thank you enough, George, for everything." Catherine said and George smirked at her.

" I think that kiss on the cheek was enough as a thank you as a guy like me could ever get." he told her softly and Catherine smiled softly, looking down in almost a slight embarrassment briefly at his comment. 

" You deserved it." she whispered back and George chuckled gently, his eyes closing a bit, his long eyelashes clasping over his brown orbs before opening again.

" I'll be here when you need me, alright?" George told her softly, " You know....in case you need somewhere to go after checking up on them." Catherine couldn't contain the laugh on her lips as she softly punched his shoulder.

" I'll see ya." she said softly and then rose to her feet in the dark room, before a final glance to George led her moving out in the cover of night. And this time she left with a smile, a real one on her face. The tears had gone and would return for another day, but for now, there were no tears and that was okay. 

Yeah Catherine still remembered that night and hit herself in the head nearly for not figuring it out sooner that she was in love with George, intoxicated by his touch and brought in by that smile or those eyes. But love was patient, she knew that much, it always was. 

Glancing back over towards George she smiled at the way he was already taking glances towards her in the sunlight.

" Almost there." George told her, and Catherine's eyes widened, a grin spreading on her face as she looked out of the window as they moved into a more suburban setting around them, with parks and trees, little houses everywhere, and people outside, walking their dog, or little kids in the yards. 

Catherine couldn't help but grin wider, because more and more she was imagining her life with George. Catherine glanced back towards George and imagined them in a house, sitting around the dinner table, talking about their day, as George made the kids laugh, filling a home with life and love. 

When Catherine felt she was on her death bed in Normandy, she would've never imagined that she would get a second chance at life, that it was the world's way of saying it was her time. But life had given her that second chance and George had been apart of that.

" Here we are." George said, turning the vehicle into the driveway of a small ranch style home, with trees surrounding the outside, a variety of potted plants outside along the walkway, a few children's toys like a hula hoop and a few bikes scattered vicariously around, and a hopscotch drawn out as well. A grin found it's way to Catherine's face and George couldn't help but grin. 

" It's so pretty, George." Catherine said as George clicked off the vehicle with a smirk.

" Wait until you see the inside," George said, as he pulled the keys out and shoved them into his pocket, before glancing at her, " don't get out yet, I want to get the door for ya." Catherine watched with a soft grin as he jumped out of the car like a child and giddily ran around the opposite side of the vehicle to pull the door open for her. 

Gently pulling open the car door, George stepped around and softly lent his hand forwards toward her for her to take. Catherine softly grasped his welcoming hand and stepped into the sunlight as she did so, allowing the warmth to spread across her uniform, hitting her jump wings gently, and finally warming her skin. 

George watched Catherine in that moment, underneath the sunlight, so naturally herself, surrounded by nothing but the light the sun provided. 

" Georgie!" a voice suddenly called and both Catherine and George turned to find a little girl, stood out upon the step, a glowing smile, just the same as George's on her face, her big, brown eyes glowing under the sun, the yellow sundress she wore, matching the yellow ribbons that were tied up in her hair.

" Maria!" George called, his voice sounding like pure joy as the little girl giggled, jumping innocently off the edge of the step and racing towards George. George laughed, crouching down to his hunches, opening his arms up wide enough to bring the little girl into a warm hug. Catherine's eyes shined, as she watched the two hold each other, giggles leaving each other's lips as they held each other there so tightly. 

" You're back!" squealed the little girl, pulling back from George to ruffle his hair a bit, another childish laugh leaving her lips as George chuckled.

" You bet I am, kiddo." George said ruffling her hair a bit as she giggled. Her shining eyes met Catherine's and a wide grin spread across her face.

" Cath! Georgie is that Cath! Catherine!" Maria cried, immediately shoving George to the side to move towards Catherine. Immediately Catherine bent down and immediately caught the little girl in another warm hug as she giggled, giving Catherine a few tight squeezes as she did so.

" We've heard all about you from his letters, you're even more beautiful than he described you to be." Maria squealed and Catherine shot a glance up at George who stood with a soft smile on his lips. 

" That's because words can't describe her beauty," George said as Maria giggled pulling back to look at Catherine. Catherine softly looked to George who slowly crouched down and blushed slightly as George looked down, a grin on his face - he wasn't lying.

" Don't you just have the most beautiful smile, young lady," Catherine said, smiling wide as Maria giggled again, grinning with a few teeth missing. 

" So do you, Catherine!!" Maria squealed, placing her small hands on Catherine's cheeks and giggling.

" I'm sorry you had to deal with my brother through your war, he's a bit of a lunatic if you ask me." Maria said and Catherine let out a laugh as George faked a gasp of shock.

" I'll have to agree with you there, Maria," Catherine said, " quite the lunatic." Maria let out a high-pitched giggle and turned to George with a smirk.

" At least some one finally agrees with me." she said to him and George shook his head with a smirk.

" Alright, kiddo, alright, you win." George said as the two girls laughed, " Mom inside?"

" Yeah! She's beyond excited to meet you Cath, so get ready for the hugs and food." Maria said, resting her little head softly on Catherine's shoulder, " I know they'll love you, I know I already do." Catherine felt her heart soften at the innocent words and softly glanced at George who was already watching her with loving eyes, finally seeing a world in front of him, right within arm's reach. 

And within minutes, Catherine was inside, the Luz family welcoming her like she was one of their own, with hugs from everyone, and plenty of food to fill her stomach. It made Catherine glance across the table, as his mother told stories, celebrating with a song every once and a while, and would find George, a grin on his dorky face, watching her from where his chin sat on his knuckles, his eyes taking every inch of her in. 

Catherine brought the wine glass to her lips, eyes on George for a moment as they held their gazes and it all seemed to fade out. 

And for a moment, Catherine was back again, standing in those English barracks watching George Luz run up to her like the excited person he was and wrap his arms around Catherine a tight hug - he hadn't even known her. He had just wanted to hug her, that's all he had wanted. 

And now years later, she sat at his family's dining room table, watching him and falling in love with the man who had captured her heart, all over again. 

✰✰✰

_HEY!!! i am BACK with another chapter on catherine and george who's love i absolutely will forever adore. i can't get enough of them!! but as you know, we still have one fearless virago left to account for and that's lizzie. and i know so many of you have anxiously awaited to learn what happened to her - and what all this floyd talbert business is about ;) well, soon enough, never fear, you'll learn what happened!! get ready!! thank you all for reading as always, this story brings me so much joy! thank you! <3_


	66. new life

" Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle."

_\- Napoleon Hill_

✰✰✰

The sun of Rhode Island on a blissful November afternoon was one of the most freeing feelings that Catherine ever felt within her body. The soft breeze was one of the last as late fall was quickly approaching, but for that moment, in the early afternoon by the bay. 

George had made a show of taking his favorite quilt from the house and lying it out in the green grass under one of the oak trees in the park by the bay, grinning up at Catherine as he sat down on it and looked up at her with glowing eyes. 

Of course, Catherine couldn't help but sit down beside him watching him softly lean in to press a soft kiss to her cheek and wrap an arm around her shoulder. 

In recent days, George couldn't seem to stop talking about wanting to have kids - of course, Catherine was beyond excited to take him up on the discussion of kids. Seeing his eyes glow as he talked about showing his first son, possibly how to tie his shoe or ride his bike for the first time made her smile even more each time. She loved the way he got so excited, grinning like a kid on Christmas. 

And now sitting beside him, she saw that same love glowing in his eyes again. With his coat wrapped around her shoulders, smelling like his favorite cologne, she couldn't help but smile softly to herself as she listened to George talk quietly against her ear, pressing gentle kisses every so often there, as their eyes stayed on the bay. 

This was what she wanted, a life, a free life, a life where she felt simply just calm. Being with George, his jacket over her shoulders, his fingers intertwined with hers, she felt so peacefully calm.

" Hey, George?" she said softly, letting her eyes train on him for a moment as he looked up at her with a smile.

" Yeah?" he asked quietly, and he watched her smile softly.

" Nothing.." she said shyly, glancing down at their hands for a moment as the wind ruffled their hair for a moment, bringing a calm silence between the two as they sat there, " just thinking." 

" About what?" George said, softly reaching up to place a piece of stray hair behind her ear with a soft smile. Catherine met his eyes for a moment and watched the soft brown of his eyes gently touch her blue.

" Just...." Catherine sighed," I know that you'll be a great father." George chuckled softly and watched her.

" I was hoping I would be." he said, watching as Catherine watched him softly for a brief moment and smile slowly.

" I was thinking that you could hope a bit more, in maybe 9 months?" Catherine asked him and George froze, his eyes the only thing moving on his face as he watched her. 

" 9-9-9 m-months?" George stuttered out as he watched her, happy tears filling her eyes as George slowly piece by piece put together her words. Catherine softly placed her hands on George's slightly stubbled cheeks, brushing the pads of her thumbs against them, with a smile on her lips.

" 9 months, George." she whispered softly. 

" We're going to be parents," he whispered, his eyes watching her, as she couldn't help but smile, sniffling briefly as she did so, " you're going to be a mom, Cath, and I'm going to be a dad." Catherine nodded, cracking a wide smile on her lips.

" Yeah, we are." George felt speechless as he sat there, watching the woman he loved, telling him she was pregnant with their child, someone he had seen at her lowest, now producing a new life with even more strength than she had ever had before. George softly placed a hand on her stomach through the dress. He knew there was nothing there now, barely a thing, but there would be soon enough, a tiny child. 

" Cath..." George whispered, looking up at her as he could evidently see her trying to hold back the tears - he knew they were happy tears, she couldn't stop smiling that beautiful smile - and softly moved his hands to her cheeks which filled with tears.

" Hey, hey, hey..." he whispered, watching her close to sobs at this point. 

Softly, he pressed his lips to her own, capturing her lips to his, as their own softly fluttered closed, so softly embracing one another, in the others comforting touch, words unable to describe the emotions that the other felt. It was more of a simple pure joy that couldn't even be explained by all the words of the dictionary. Gently pulling back George watched Catherine smile up at him.

" I love you so much," he whispered, the words playing on her lips as his warm breath touched her own, " and Cath, you...you and I created this. And you're going to carry this baby, our baby. I don't know how I can tell you how much I love you." Catherine watched him, her eyes shining. 

" I think saving me during the war was enough of a thank you," she managed out. George choked out a chuckle and couldn't help but press his lips to hers again. Pulling back George held her face in his hands, eyes shining, looking almost like he was unable to comprehend it.

" You're pregnant!" he called out, " I'm going to be a dad, holy shit." Catherine let out a laugh as George met her eyes again, a wide smile on her face as she laughed and laughed. 

" You're going to be a great father," Catherine said softly, as George watched her with such loving eyes.

" Enough about me, you're going to be a mother, Cath!" George said, softly pulling her into his grasp," 9 months...." Catherine looked at George with a smile.

" I'm so excited." he whispered softly to her making her chuckle, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink as she did so. Her big blue eyes watched him softly, watching as he adored her right back. 

" You make me so happy, you know that." Catherine whispered softly, watching George. George's smile fell a bit into a soft look on his face, as he looked at Catherine gently. 

For that moment, Catherine felt like it was a time warp, back to when she was there, just looking across the bar to find George Luz staring at her with a stupid grin, offering her a drink from his glass, as she gladly took it it. It had been him. It had always been him. For years she never thought she'd be worthy of birthing a child, a new life into this world, and now she realized she was. 

And becoming a family with George Luz was all she could have wanted and more. 

Catherine softly kissed his lips, a gentle peck that made him close his eyes and then pulled back and watched him.

" What's your Mom going to say?" she asked and George let out a chuckle, taking her hands in his and softly brushing his fingers over them.

" Just wait until she hears, you won't stop being hugged by that woman as long as you live." George said with a chuckle, making Catherine let out a laugh of her own. 

Love was patient and kind and filled with the unexpected wonders of a life shared with someone who loves you for you. It was vulnerable, and raw and real. 

And sitting by George's side, she saw her future, the rest of her life spent with the man who had seen that side of her and loved her despite it all. 

Catherine smiled, shutting her eyes for a moment as the sun soaked her skin - life was beautiful.

**_Grand Rapids, Michigan - January 25th, 1946_ **

Elizabeth Elliot's grandmother had died on October 4th, 1945 - she had lost her battle. 

For 4 months, Lizzie had been numb to it all, trying to not let it get to her head, especially after she had just fought a war, training since '42, watching her friends die, watching them suffer, watching grief, numbness and pain take them from her own eyes. She tried not to let it bother her, but by the first week of November, it seemed all she could do was break at the mere mention of her. 

The hyperkinetic disorder wasn't helping - the stress, the overthinking, the inability to focus - all of it. Nothing was helping. 

Sure, writing letters to her friends, especially the girls was nice. 

Hazel and Joe, in their most recent letter, had sent out details about their wedding - they were engaged. Joe had popped the question to Hazel under the stars one night out by the Bay, and the wedding was quickly scheduled by the family. They had bought a little home by the Bay as well, Hazel getting back into her schooling and Joe earning his job back at the Cab Company. 

And Lizzie was so happy to see them happy, to see them so joyful, to hear about what they were doing - the distraction was nice. And Lizzie was so excited to see them at their wedding - a couple Lizzie would forever admire. 

Their selfless love for one another through a war even more so admirable. 

Lizzie had seen them at Catherine and George's wedding, after Catherine had announced her pregnancy, and Lizzie had never felt happier to see the guys again, to be able to see the girls again, getting a big hug from Hazel and Joe both. It was comforting from the two because if she knew they were happy, that was all that mattered. 

Catherine and George had settled in Rhode Island, by their own bay, with a house as well, and a new puppy - Catherine had said they called him Chip the second they got him and then, well, it sorta stuck. Catherine talked a lot about how when George went off to work, and recently, standing for too long hurt her back more than she would've wished, Chip liked to snuggle up on the couch beside her and act as a guardian until George would get home. Lizzie hoped to meet little Chip one day, possibly when the baby was born. 

Knowing that the women who had turned into her sisters were happy, was the only thing keeping her somewhat sane at this point, when every little thing reminded her of her grandmother, the war, or her crippling mental state. 

Most days, she stayed in her room, feeling like she were deteriorating, or letting her dinner go cold when her mother offered it. But no one understood, the pain, the fear, the guilt and grief. How internalized it all was, and how deep down Lizzie knew it'd stay in the pit of her chest forever. 

Lizzie felt bad for her parents mostly - her siblings mostly didn't understand, why their big sister was so distant, so emotional - they always watched her like she was this unknown person, so fragile, so weak, like any second she'd break. And they had every right to. 

But Lizzie more and more felt the weight of the world pulling her down to the ground. And it hurt, more than anything. 

The wedding had been the only bright spot for a long while, but she had barely seen any of the guys, having trailed out pretty early on when her mind got too much for her to handle. 

Gene had found her out on one of the back steps. And within seconds she couldn't believe she was having a breakdown at her best friend's wedding - that's when the guilt started even more. And it was a constant, ongoing cycle that was never ending.

Afterwards, when home became her only companion, she stayed in her room a lot, staring off, trying to settle her mind, something anything to control this, to get the weight that hurt her shoulders even if there was nothing there. To try and stop crying herself to sleep, anything that would get her mind set straight for once. 

Hazel and Joe's wedding was in a week's time and Lizzie would have to head out to San Francisco in about 3 days to help with preparations. 

But staring at herself in the mirror was a pain she could never get over, or seeing her Jump Wings, the Virago Medal, even her uniform, the medic satchel on the ground, even pictures - all of it triggered memories and emotions she was trying to escape. She wrote the girls daily, but Gene, Smokey and Shifty were near-constant. Malarkey and Joe Toye were others she never failed to write to, as well as Alton. She missed them more than anything. 

She was surprised by the person who helped the most - Floyd Talbert. 

Sitting on her bed, his letters lay scattered around her, as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. Lizzie softly reached up to wipe at the tear that crawled down her face and let out a shaky sigh. 

Floyd's letters had helped the most out of anything - simply because even if he were a funny guy and the two cracked a joke or two, here and there, he was genuinely one of the most caring people Lizzie had gotten to know. 

Before they had departed on the train, taking it out to the Midwest together, Floyd had given her one of the warmest hugs she had ever experienced, the two standing in the middle of the station, arms wrapped around one another. Lizzie still remembered the way his arms had wrapped around hers. 

And for a moment, she regretted some of the slightly crude jokes that she had directed at him on D-Day. But being in the hot sun with no idea where you were exactly, enemies crawling around you like ants, she had a right to be pissed at everything. 

But now all she wanted was him, to sit by her side, hold her close, tell her jokes until her tears turned from sad to happy again, anything. She felt human again with him. And maybe it was the gentle way he smiled at her, or the way his eyes would light up and ignite an entire room, but she wanted that more than anything. 

He had been the one to consume her mind when the grief of her grandmother didn't. He had been the one that brought her a bit of joy as Lizzie tried to grasp onto each and every memory the two shared with one another. 

Lizzie let out a shaky sigh as her throat clenched. 

How was it possible to miss someone as much as she did now? 

To feel your heart physically ache so much that it felt worse than anything else imaginable? 

Why did it feel this way? 

And holding the pillow against her chest, hearing the thumping beat of her heart against the fabric was enough to make her think that for a moment, it was Tab who was there on the other side, holding her so close to his own. 

✰✰✰

_WE MADE IT!! we have finally arrived at lizzie's postwar and to say i'm sad is an understatement - i'm so excited to finally reach this point - hazel and joe are getting married, catherine's pregnant, and lizzie....lizzie is struggling more than anything. but this means there's only 5 more chapters after this, and i'm keeping it for the moment, to a final, single, epilogue just because i don't want to keep it long winded at the moment :)_

_**PLUS THIS IS A DOUBLE UPDATE!!** <3 i'm emotional but so happy to see my story progress like this, i'm hoping to shoot out a few more double updates when i can to finish out my quarantine fic because it helped me more than anything, thank you all so much!_


	67. the winters' cold

" We're all a little broken, but that's what life's for; putting our pieces back together."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰ ** _  
_**

**_Grand Rapids - January 26th, 1946_ **

It was snowing again, Lizzie could sense it from the moment she awoke and felt the familiar chill rise up her entire body. 

It triggered the chain reaction of memories, following from Bastogne, her sickness, and her inevitable fever that was persistent in remaining with her through that time. 

Lizzie's eyes stared at the ceiling, illuminated with a small bit of light - from the new lamp her mother had gotten her after Lizzie had accidentally broken the other one from her most recent breakdown. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, Lizzie remembered the horror on her parents faces when they saw just exactly what the noise they'd heard from downstairs was only to come up and see their daughter in tears, barely able to hold herself together as a few glass shards covered the ground, blood on her fingertips and the lamp sprawled across the ground. 

Opening her eyes again, Lizzie forced herself to sit up, even though her body wished to remain stuck to the bed sheets and never move again. 

Sitting up, her eyes carried her to the window that was beside her bed and leaned forward a bit. The snow was falling fairly hard and collecting up and about the ground, as well as the sidewalks and the streets and the overhanging trees of the forested neighborhood. Lizzie could see the neighbors kids in the yard, giggling and squealing as they threw snowballs at each other and paraded around like the innocent souls they were. She sighed softly to herself and slowly turned to slide off the bed. 

It was Saturday - it meant that her father and mother would both be home, no work today, which meant facing them again - having to see her parents look at their messed up daughter, turned young woman to war child torn by the heartache the war offered. 

It also meant another letter from Floyd - she practically knew by now which days letters were sent by her friends like it were a routine. 

Hazel and Joe's were Sundays, Smokey's were Mondays with Alton's, Shifty's came on Tuesdays with Don and Gene on Wednesdays, Joe Toye was Thursdays with Catherine and George on Fridays - and sometimes there'd be a letter from Lip or Winters in the mix or sometimes even Bill. 

But today would be Floyd's letter. 

Lizzie pulled one of the cardigans on around herself, her face numbly set staring forward as she took to leaving the cold room behind and moving towards the staircase which was still covered in cedar garland that her mother used for the winter time. It would have candles and lights at Christmas, but now was dull wrapped around the wooden railings. 

Lizzie slowly moved down the stairs and was not greeted by her parents, but a knock at the door. 

" I'll get it." Lizzie called faintly into the kitchen where she had heard her parent's voices previously. 

Lizzie hoped it was the mailman. 

Slowly reaching forward, Lizzie unlocked the door and slowly stepped back as she pulled it open and looked up tiredly. 

_Please be a letter._

_Anything, please._

But her eyes looked with a set of eyes she thought she wouldn't see at least until the wedding.

" Hey Lizard." 

" Floyd?" Lizzie whispered, as suddenly she took a step back to take him in. 

It was Floyd Talbert, with a bouquet of yellow flowers in his grasp, and a wide smile spread across his face, standing there on the doorstep of her home. His cheeks were rosy, eyes filled with life, and the familiar shit-eating grin on his lips was shining bright against the falling snow which made Lizzie want to run and hide. 

The only thing that didn't make her want to run and hide was the fact Floyd Talbert stood at her doorstep at 11 in the morning.

" You seems surprised." Floyd said and Lizzie's eyes didn't fail to then quickly well with tears, as she put a hand over her eyes and felt her lip tremble. 

" Aw, Lizzie, hey, come here, don't cry." Floyd said, stepping inside, shutting the door quickly behind him, before being the one to quickly take Lizzie into his arms. 

And almost instantly, Lizzie felt a warmth that for months she had not felt, now standing right in her own home. His arms were around her, and holding her close, holding her right up against her just like their last hug on the train station, just like their last hug in Austria and just like their first in England when there was still a war on and Lizzie didn't know what it would eventually do to her. 

Wrapping her arms then around him was a feeling she never wanted to forget, just to be able to know that there in her arms was the person whom she had missed more than anything in this world and the person who had kept her from insanity in the war, even when she didn't believe it herself.

" You're here." she managed out as her voice broke, " You're really here." 

" Yeah...I am." Floyd said softly and she squeezed him even tighter in the hug when she felt the soft touch of his lips against her head in a gentle kiss against her hair. A tear squeaked out. Pulling back, she finally looked upon his face, looking at his eyes, his smile.

" How?" she whispered. Floyd grinned softly at her.

" I knew you were expecting a letter from me, but I figured me showing up would be much better." Floyd said, his eyes turning worried, " You're last letter worried me, a lot, Lizzie." Lizzie met his eyes, as she reached to wipe the tear that trailed down from her eye, briefly. And she wanted to say she was fine to him, to not have another person worry for her, but Floyd could almost instantly see right through her like she was a piece of paper.

" I didn't mean to worry you, just...." Lizzie looked past him and out of the window by the door where she saw more snow falling. Floyd watched Lizzie's eyes fade for a second, dazing out, completely unfocused and like she were transported to a different time that was not here. 

" Hey, Lizzie..." Floyd whispered, bending down a bit to meet her eyes which stared off.

" Lizzie." he whispered, reaching forward to push one of the strands of lose blonde hair behind her ear and from her face. At his touch, her eyes turned upon him again, glassy and slightly red from the tears which had previously streamed down her face. 

" It just reminds me....of...things." her voice was small and quiet, not the cheerful and outgoing sound it had been like back in Austria, at Catherine and George's wedding. What happened?

" Like Bastogne....." she tried to keep speaking but her throat lodged up with memories and things she wished to not remember. 

" I know, I know." Floyd whispered softly, the gentle nod of his head, enough to let Lizzie blow out a breath of air in a silent relief to herself, as she forced a smile on her lips as she watched him. 

The two watched each other briefly, taking in the other as they stood there in the slightly dim foyer of her home, the only noise the sound of the radio her mother put on in the morning and the quiet chatter of their voices in the kitchen.

" Have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are, Floyd?" she whispered softly, watching a grin poke up at the corner of his mouth as he watched her. He'd missed her. 

This ethereal woman that stood before him.

" Who's this?" a voice asked and Lizzie was quick to turn away from Floyd to see her mother standing in the doorway, a wide smile on her face, dough on her hands from making her Saturday bread.

" Um..." Lizzie slowly wrapped her arm through Floyd's as he stood there grinning like the sun and took him a few steps forward towards her mother, " this is Floyd Talbert, Staff-Sergeant - I served with him." Her mother grinned, her eyes shining as she turned upon Floyd.

" A good friend." Lizzie added, but she could see the twinkle in her eyes.

" It's a pleasure to meet you, Floyd, I'm Rebecca. Rebecca Elliot." she said, " I would shake your hand but I'm afraid to get dough on you." Floyd laughed as Lizzie giggled softly. 

" I didn't meant to just show up, but your daughter, I wanted to come and surprise her." Floyd said, turning to take the flowers off the table, " I knew yellow flowers were her favorite." Rebecca's eyes shined as she looked at Lizzie who looked up at Floyd with shining eyes. For the first time since Lizzie had returned home, Rebecca saw a real smile on her daughter's lips.

" Would you like to join us for breakfast? The others aren't awake but my husband is and I've just made the first pot of coffee." Rebecca said as Floyd grinned.

" Of course, I was up at 6 in the morning to get over here and I forgot coffee when I left." Floyd said as Rebecca let out a laugh.

" Then let me make you up a cup, you deserve it." Rebecca said, " C'mon." 

Floyd glanced down at Lizzie who he found was already watching him with shining eyes, eyes that he himself had missed more than anything. Lizzie softly rested her chin upon his arm as she looked up at him with shining eyes. And she smiled, it was a soft smile, one that had seen pain, a pain that lived within her still, but one that was learning to poke the corners up again and grin.

" C'mon," Lizzie whispered, leading Floyd into the kitchen with the big windows to the outside world - her favorite place of the entire house, as it was filled with warmth and love. 

Immediately, Lizzie's father looked up from his daily paper and a smile spread on his face as he saw his daughter smiling for the first time, a real smile, in months as she lead Floyd towards him. 

" It's a pleasure to meet you sir," Floyd said as he stuck out his hand with a smile towards her father. Lizzie's father smiled wide and shook his hand right back.

" It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Floyd," her father said and Lizzie smiled as her father grinned.

" He served with me, Dad, in the Airborne, he was a Staff-Sergeant in Easy." Lizzie said and her father smiled, as Lizzie looked up to Floyd, " Dad was in the Army, he was a medic in the Great War." 

" Like father like daughter." Floyd said as the two Elliots laughed as her mother chuckled from the kitchen.

" Where you from?" her father asked with a smile and Lizzie knew it was genuine, not the fake one he had used with past boyfriends of hers, no, this was genuine.

" Kokomo, Indiana." Floyd said.

" Not too far from here then," her father said and Floyd nodded with a grin," Looks like you'll be able to visit more often then." 

" I hope so." Floyd said and Lizzie grinned softly.

" Well here you are Floyd," Rebecca said coming over with the cup of coffee, " I put in a bit of cream, a pinch of sugar." 

" Sounds perfect." Floyd said, " Army usually didn't have any of this stuff."

" We usually had to take the coffee clean out with nothing in it," Lizzie pipped in, " super watery, but we took it anyway." 

" Nice to know that things haven't changed." her father said with a laugh as the group broke into chuckles.

" Take a seat, I'll start bringing over some food for you all." Rebecca said, " The best way to any home, is the heart, the kitchen, and that's with the food - the heart of a home." 

" Mom's quite the cook." Lizzie offered as Floyd smiled.

" I bet it'll taste delicious." Floyd said and Lizzie smiled softly as she glanced over towards him with shining eyes again. 

Breakfast with Floyd's surprise was the thing that Lizzie had needed to claw her out of the hole that had kept her in the dark for months. 

Of course, the heartache would still hold her hostage at points, but in that moment just to sit there beside Floyd, and have someone who understood her for her, was what she needed and all she could've asked for that morning when she had been near her breaking point. 

Just being able to look beside her and see Floyd sitting there with a grin on his face, talking to her parents like they were old friends, and laughing along at the jokes and stories Lizzie had heard one too many times, Lizzie was sure, as she sat in that very chair, that Floyd had turned into more than just the friend, the annoying, jokester friend he had always been. 

With the yellow flowers, his gentle touch and voice, the way he watched her like she wasn't the broken mess she always felt like she was, she felt something in her heart that she felt when she saw the girls, or when she saw her grandmother, even in pictures, or when she saw the men of Easy Company. 

Love. She felt love, and a love where she wanted to be able to tell him that for the rest of his days, she would be by his side, she'd be by his side, holding his hand and refusing to let go despite what might ever come between them. She wanted that. She wanted that more than anything. 

And most of all, she wanted it with him. With Floyd Talbert. 

Who had looked at her that day in Austria, despite her disorder and hugged her and told her that he wouldn't think of her any different than what she was right in this moment. Never. 

Sipping her coffee, she peaked towards him as Floyd laughed at something her mother said to him, and felt a warmth on her cheeks for the first time in a long time. 

Dressed still in pajamas and a slight bit of bed head, Floyd had stepped inside and been the one to take her into his arms without second though. And now, he sat at her kitchen table, laughing and talking and just being him with no guard up in front that the war had forced them all to do. 

Floyd briefly glanced towards her and caught the blue eyes almost instantly that stared up at him with wonder and curiosity. 

Seeing her smile was what settled him, but simply seeing her, sitting slow close to her that he could reach out and tuck that stubborn strand of hair behind her ear, and being right by her side was enough to make him reach forward and softly place a hand under the table on her thigh, lightly brushing the pajama bottoms as the two held one another's gaze. 

Lizzie softly bit back her lip as he watched her, and she could feel her heart rate pick up just by the look in his eyes, watching her and only her. 

Because she was the only thing important to him in that moment as she lay in his sight. 

Her cheeks warmed up a bit more than she would've wished and she watched Floyd smirk. 

She could only wait for the snarky comment he'd make - but in that moment of silence, the two watched each other and simply took the other in. 

So natural in their own states, right in front of one another. 

A moment of silence, where the eyes spoke and lips laid shut.

✰✰✰

_AHHHHH!!! floyd and lizzie back together again, i knew i couldn't keep them apart long :) this just made me so soft and happy, seeing the gentleness they have with one another - i can't get over it!! 5 more chapters and epilogue after this folks, and all i can say is that i'm starting to feel that reality hit :,) it's been a lovely journey <3_


	68. falling snow

" But without the dark we wouldn't know the warmth of the light." 

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

Lizzie watched his gentle eyes, as he sat on her childhood bed, shoes kicked off, as the light from the nearby flickering candle seemed to illuminate his face. His eyes were so warm, like a milk chocolate swirling behind them - and how relaxed his features were. They had been so tense in war, and seeing him against the soft light of the night she thought was even more beautiful than she could've imagined. 

Lizzie looked down into her hands and sighed softly, briefly looking to where Floyd's hand lay gentle on her bent knee, in her criss-cross position in front of him. His gentle thumb brushed softly against her knee, soothing her, as unwanted anxiety filled her system. She wanted to tell him every single thing - everything. But the fear that he would grow annoyed with her cumbersome thoughts and believe it were annoying. 

_No_. She had to tell herself, that was not Floyd.

" You okay?" he asked quietly, as her eyes caught on the snow that fell outside the window. She remembered the blood that had decorated the snow, the bitterness that had made her feel like there was no imminent escape. The blood had dripped over her fingertips, drenching them in the dark crimson color that she once wore in a dress to a church party. 

Now she saw it as a color that signaled death and war and violence and fear with masked emotions. 

Floyd watched her as she looked out the window - he could watch her like that for hours he felt, her gaze so focused on the falling snow, so gentle, like he could reach out and touch her and would feel the warmth she possessed. But he could see the pain that swam in her eyes - she tried to hide it, he knew she was good at hiding it. 

But Floyd had been with her on D-Day, and he had been with her the day the war had ended. 

She knew pain and he did too.

" The snow..." she whispered as pain filled his heart watching her mind reverberate to Bastogne in that moment, " it..." 

" Hey," whispered Floyd, as she slowly turned to him, watching his eyes, trying to hold the steady gaze she had struggled to even look at her parents with.

" Floyd..." she whispered, shaking her head, as tears welled her big, blue eyes," I see them every night. They're faces. The ones I couldn't save - just a boy dying out in the middle of nowhere." 

" Some parents never even got their son or daughter home," she managed, shaking her head, as she sniffled," they thought they would too." Floyd was quiet, watching her eyes, wanting her to tell him every burden that seemed to suck her into the ground, so for a moment, she could walk light as a feather and he could bear her pain so that she wouldn't have to feel it anymore. 

Life was not that fair, but for this moment, she deserved fairness and a break from the horrors of society and of the world.

" They were just kids," she managed, as Floyd's face grimaced in the pain in her voice, his heart quite literally plummeting deep within his chest, clenching like a fist squeezing the juices out of an orange - except this time it was his heart. 

Lizzie watched him, the tears that had flowed into his version, waiting to fall, waiting to cascade down her cheeks, following one after the other until there was no more left. The pain in her eyes was unbearable for Floyd to just sit and watch. 

Floyd softly shuffled forward, and gently cupped his right hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing at the first tear that fell down her pink cheeks, her bright red nose, the feature that made him just want to softly press a kiss there, a promise that even in this moment he wouldn't leave her side. 

His soft touch made her crumble then and there, another human, with hands that had wielded a bringer of death, so delicately touching a face and mind filled with so much pain and heartache, for a moment it almost didn't seem right. 

To let someone who had fought a war have to touch something now so broken, when they were already so broken themselves. But Floyd didn't care. His thumb softly caressed her cheek, as her hand that wasn't clenched in a tiny fist against her heart, softly held his hand there, willing that it'd never disappear again.

" I couldn't save them," she cried out, a gasping cry filled with pain following," none of them, I watched them die in front of me." She shook her head as Floyd softly with pained eyes, let his other hand cup her other cheek, holding it there, giving her a balance - anything to just tell her she's not alone anymore. And she won't ever be alone again. 

Watching her break, watching her break like she was all alone, was a stab of a knife to the heart and a twist of it if that's what you could call it - he should've been there for her, he should've been sitting by her side, holding her on her darkest nights, telling her she would never have to suffer alone after a war that had taken so much from such a pure soul. 

And she'd been alone with nothing but her feelings and thoughts, and all Floyd wanted to do was go back to that moment on the train station, and hug her, and tell her, instead, he was coming home with her. 

And he'd simply just be with her. 

But instead she had been shattered again and again, and now sat broken and utterly depleted.

" I should've done more, tried to get back to school, get my life together, but it was all I could think about. What the war did, what we saw - no one understood. No one ever will." Lizzie managed out, as her bottom lip quivered in the soft outside light," It hurts."

Those two words, caused her face to blur from his eyes, as tears welled. He shut his eyes, her face softly held within his grasp, as tears pushed past his lashes and out down his cheeks, his body giving a heaving gasp of a cry. 

Looking back up, Lizzie was watching him, with a trembling lip, her beautiful eyes watching Floyd, watching the tears that had been gated behind the barriers he had put up, finally be pushed open.

" I should've been here, Lizzie, for you, for all of you, for every single part of you," Floyd whispered, his voice wavering as he shook his head, " I should've." 

" I should've never left you on that train station." he managed out, his thumb tracing the tear track down her pale skin. Hot tears streaked down her cheeks quickly, as she softly brought her hands up to his own fresh-shaven face.

" Floyd, please," she whispered," it's okay." Her voice was breaking. 

" You've suffered so much, Lizzie, I should've been here for you." he managed, as his lips quivered and he squeezed his eyes shut, relishing her warm hands pressed against his cheeks, her touch soothing his racing heart, the feeling of her body so near, her presence and his so broken down to the rawness of what embodied the human spirit, in a tiny room in Grand Rapids, made him wish for a moment that everything would go quiet, the thoughts, the blood in his ears, everything and he could just watch her.

" You're so strong." he whispered," But I-"

" No, no, no, Floyd, hey," she managed, as she met his eyes, holding him steady for her, holding him there in her two hands, as his hands pressed warmly on the sides of her face, so the only thing the other could focus on was the one across from them.

" These four months taught me nothing but how do be strong alone," she whispered," but I never want to have to do that all my life. And it showed me love, Floyd." Floyd sniffled as he watched her, as she attempted a smile, attempted a bit of happiness in that moment for a world so dark and cold.

" My grandmother," Lizzie whispered, she always told me how raw love can be, how gentle and caring it was, how playful-" she gently removed her hand from his cheek, to gently boop his nose, as a small smile filtered onto his lips, watery eyes on her," -she always told me that everyone deserved love too, not just the ones who gave it either." Floyd watched her, his eyes clearing for a moment as he sat up a bit.

" These 4 months taught me that maybe there's more to love than just waiting and waiting, that maybe it was in front of me the entire time." she whispered," And that maybe, more than anything, in a world where you aren't guaranteed tomorrow that it's worth going for. And that it always will be." 

Floyd watched her, as his eyes comprehended her words, her eyes, her face, the slight grin that showed on her lips - everything. 

Without second thought, Floyd softly and tenderly pressed a kiss to her forehead, the feather light touch sending her eyelids closed, his soft scent of cologne clouding her features, his warm hands swarming her cheeks with heat. His lips stayed there for a moment as all was quiet, cuddled on her bed in her childhood room, two broken souls mended by one another as it snowed in the light of the outside world. 

Lizzie was so comforted by the touch of this man, whom she had all but made sarcastic remarks towards on D-Day, when the sun had beat down upon her, unraveling any anger she withheld, the bugs and sweat stinging her sun burnt skin. 

Now, she sat inches from him, his presence engulfing her - for a moment, she wished she could go back and look on him with eyes, that first day in the barrack whens he hadn't known what war was, when she hadn't see what bloodshed it could bring. But then she wouldn't be here in this moment with the touch of the man whose heart she held so close to her own. 

And then he hugged her, the two eclipsed in the warmest embrace she'd had in months - of someone who understood her pain, who understood her fears and why she couldn't even look at dog tags anymore without seeing the names of the dead across them, why she never could smell sterilized medical equipment without thinking of the hospitals where the barely conscious had gone. He softly pressed a hand against her hand, finally feeling her soft hair, the gentle vanilla scent that lingered behind her ear, the way her hands held him tightly clasped in her arms, like a vow to never let go even when apart. 

Softly, she began to hum the tune to _I'll Be Seeing You_ , the tune making Floyd practically melt into her embrace, yearning for more of her touch as he shoved his head into her neck, softly letting out a shuttering sigh as she hummed. Floyd softly hummed against the side of her neck, as she squeezed him tighter, holding the other so close, refusing to let go.

" I'll find you in the morning sun..." Floyd whispered softly against her as he pulled back, softly brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, as she watched him with a soft, slightly sad smile, as the tracing of his finger, let her follow his hand into his palm. 

" And when the night is new, I'll be looking at the moon...." she sang softly, as Floyd smiled this time, a bit wider than he had before, as her eyes looked up at him.

" But....I might be seeing a'you..." before he could even finish singing, Lizzie let out a giggle, knocking her forehead against his nose, as she slapped a hand over her mouth, watching as he raised a brow towards her in complete, utter confusion, not forgetting to draw a smirk up on his lips as he watched her giggle. 

" What are you giggling at, cutie?" he whispered as her eyes found his.

" You sang the wrong lyrics, Floyd." she whispered softly back as Floyd titled his head to the side and pouted.

" No I didn't." he complained as Lizzie giggled.

" 4 months and it's the only song you listen to anymore makes me say that, Floyd, it was the wrong lyric." Floyd pouted at her sentence.

" Awwww, Lizzie." he whined going in for another hug, as she giggled at his pouty face.

" Hey," she said, as he pulled back, looking at her, watching as she looked at him," you're too funny." 

" What can I say, I am a humorous guy."

" It's, but I'll be seeing you, Floyd." she whispered softly.

" Dammit," he managed out, voice gruff as she smirked at him.

" Sad that I might know more songs than you, Mr. Talbert?" she whispered, her gaze sneaky as she watched him, a smirk on his own face.

" In your dreams, Miss. Elliot." he whispered back and Lizzie watched him with shining eyes. 

" Why are you watching me like that?" she whispered softly, her hand reaching up to brush that stubborn strand of hair from his eyes.

" Like what?" Floyd said as Lizzie giggled. She watched his eyes glint.

" Like that." she whispered.

" Like this?" he whispered, and a Lizzie couldn't take it anymore more as nearly the same time, her lips pressed against his, her eyes shutting at the touch placed upon her lips. 

Tomorrow was no guarantee - in war and in life. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, her hand run up into his hair, as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer into his grasp, yearning for the simple touch of her being closer to his. 

Lizzie couldn't deny it, Floyd was a man of many cocky words, and albeit, he was not lying in anyway as he deepened the kiss, holding her so delicately yet firmly within his grasp. He knew how to kiss.

" You're laughing," he whispered, slightly out of breath as he pulled away with a laugh, as she giggled.

" How'd you know?" she whispered, smirking slightly.

" I just knew." he said softly, watching her eyes, as the moment finally was recognized for a split second between the two of them. She had kissed him, and he had almost immediately kissed her at the same time. 

" You..."

" Kissed you?" Floyd whispered, his eyes watching her," Yes, ma'am." Lizzie smirked, cheeks blushing a deep red, as Floyd chuckled. 

" When I get nervous, I laugh." she whispered," And you made me nervous." Floyd chuckled softly, as she watched him.

" At least you're not the only one." he said and Lizzie watched him, raising a brow briefly.

" Let's just say you sassing me out in front of the 502nd was enough to let my eye trail to you more often than I'd like." he said admittedly as Lizzie giggled.

" Or maybe Arsenic and Old Lace, when I knew you were right," he said and Lizzie let out a laugh, slapping his shoulder lightly as she did so, causing him to cackle at her own laugh. 

" So....." Floyd said as he cleared up," wanna bet that Joe's gonna be the first to cry at the wedding?"

" You're on." she said, giggling," I'll make it that it's Captain Speirs, you heard he's walking her down the isle and we all know he loves her." 

" Looks like you're about to lose, Elliot, I know Joe Liebgott and the man is in love, he's gonna break."

" It's a deal, Floyd." she said softly bringing up her hand to shake his with a tiny giggle as Floyd shook her hand, softly kissing her forehead as she laughed.

" I guess that means I'm gonna have to bring you as my date." she said with a smirk," Pity."

" Oh no, that means I'll have to _DANCE_ with _you_ , too, right?" he complained," Don't step on my foot now." 

" God I have to hear you mess up the lyrics again to more of these songs that you don't know, great." she said as Floyd broke first chuckling softly, as she smirked. 

She loved him, she knew she did, just by the way she felt whole, she felt like there was more than the war, than simply just surviving, but instead living. Living and simply being. 

That her hands may be covered in blood, but Floyd still looked at her the same way. 

4 months were for her growth, and she had been strong alone, but you didn't have to be strong alone your entire life - there was far more to life than that. 

✰✰✰

_IT. HAS. FINALLY. HAPPENED!!! IT HAS HAPPENED PEOPLE!! i knew with postwar the angst couldn't hang around for too long, war had brought enough - but i knew there still needed to be that angst factor there, but that lizzie was finding a new hope, more happiness and light in this relationship with tab that she had missed so much!! :) it makes me so happy for these too, but also sad BECAUSE THE END IS SO CLOSE :,( 4 chapters + 1 epilogue in counting - and i am EMOTIONAL. thank you all for staying on this journey with me, the highs and lows, through quarantine and 2020 - it has meant the world, and i'm so happy to be along on this ride! <3_


	69. this is peace

" Peace begins when expectation ends."

_\- Sri Chinmoy_

✰✰✰

San Francisco was absolutely beautiful - Lizzie had remembered a few of Hazel's letters describing the beautiful city, her words laced with such knowledge and wisdom like she'd lived there all her life - it seems Joe was quite the influence in knowing San Francisco. She'd started college right after they moved into the new home - and the pictures Hazel had managed to send to her were beautiful. They were all meeting at the home, and to say Lizzie felt a bout of excitement was an understatement - supposedly everyone was showing up. 

Everyone that could possibly be there, would be there - officers were invited, Private, through Lieutenant, anyone who could make it would be there. 

Celebrating Hazel and Joe was exactly what Lizzie needed, a distraction from what the war had done and from the home life and to be with the men who had been her family and will always be her family. 

The cab driver drove Lizzie and Floyd right up to the front of the home, in a small residential neighborhood that sat near the Bay with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge as the sun was near setting at the current moment. The road was lined with cars, and the clamor of voices from the backyard echoed over the freshly painted beige fence. 

Floyd softly wrapped his arm around Lizzie's shoulders and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple as the two looked up at the home. Lizzie's face warmed for a moment as she looked up at Floyd with a gentle smile.

" What're you thinking?" Floyd asked her," You and me? Little Talberts running all around-" Lizzie slapped his shoulder as he chuckled with a smirk.

" Floyd Talbert." she said her cheeks bright red as she looked up at him in the cool breeze.

" What?" he said with a growing smirk," They'd be pretty cute." Lizzie snickered and shook her head lightly.

" You flatter me." Floyd chuckled, as they started towards the home, where a little welcome mat, most likely of Hazel's own doing lay right below the door, and a tiny sign saying 'Welcome' sat on the deep maroon colored door.

" Do I? For once in my life I flatter Elizabeth Elliot?"

" Don't you dare start on the Elizabeth bullshit, Floyd." she said, and Floyd chuckled.

" Oh I love when I piss you off." he said confidently and Lizzie couldn't help but giggle. 

Taking the two tiny steps up, Lizzie looked at Floyd with a soft smile before ringing the doorbell. They heard the tiny buzz on the opposite side and immediately Lizzie heard footsteps approaching within seconds. 

The door unlocked and within seconds a smirking Joe Liebgott appeared on the other side, his hair a bit gelled up, his collared shirt a bit loosened around his neck, belt and beige pants fit and a gold engagement band on his ring finger that didn't occupy the beer in his grasp.

" Lizzie! Tab! Was wondering when you two would arrive!" Joe said, almost immediately stepping forward to hug Lizzie. 

" Yeah well, Floyd told the taxi driver the wrong directions a few too many times." she said with a laugh as she hugged him, as he gave her a tight squeeze. She heard him laugh as he pulled back and looked at her.

" Should've just called me on up, then you wouldn't have had to hear his mouth run." Joe said as Floyd scoffed with a laugh, smirking as Joe brought him into a hug.

" Shut up, Lieb." he said as the two held each other in a warm hug for a moment before pulling back. Pulling back Floyd smirked.

" Look at you, already getting married, got a house."

" Surprised?"

" Well-" Lizzie giggled stopping Floyd.

" Happy." Lizzie said and Joe genuinely smiled down at her.

" Lizzie! Floyd!!" a familiar voice squealed and Lizzie barely had time to turn and look to see the blur of caramel hair and a yellow dress launching into her arms. 

Within seconds, Lizzie had wrapped her arms as tight as she could around her. 

Hazel. 

Hazel Parker was in her arms. 

Well...soon to be Hazel Liebgott. 

Lizzie couldn't help but shove her face into Hazel's neck as tears welled in her eyes. To be held by a woman who embodied so much warmth and love made Lizzie smile so happily in her arms. 

Pulling back, Lizzie finally met Hazel's shining eyes, filled with love and joy and Lizzie couldn't help but grin wide, a few tears showing in her vision, shining like embers. Hazel softly smiled, that tiny grin on her face as she looked at Lizzie - a silent conversation no one else would understand. 

It was a moment only the three Viragos would understand when looking upon one another.

" You look beautiful, Hazel." Lizzie whispered," So beautiful." Hazel let a smile spread on her face, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

" I missed you so much you know that." Hazel said as Lizzie smiled softly at her," I missed my big sis." Lizzie grinned and then caught the ring upon Hazel's finger.

" Holy shit, Hazel this is beautiful." Lizzie said, holding Hazel's hand in her own as she admired the ring with wide eyes, looking at the little diamond in the center.

" You can thank Joe for that." Hazel said quietly, glancing over her shoulder at Joe who watched her with soft eyes, the corners of his lips lightly turned up as he was already watching her. Lizzie could practically sense the love between the two. It was adorable.

" Tab!" Hazel called, and within seconds pulled him into a hug as he laughed lightly in her ear.

" Hey there, Tiny," Floyd said as Hazel hugged him," I missed you." Hazel laughed, pulling back to look up at him with a smile.

" Aw you missed me, Tab?" she said and Floyd snickered as Lizzie chuckled. Lizzie watched as Hazel slowly returned to Joe's side, as his arm softly wrapped around her shoulders, as she softly snuggled against him a bit.

" You two have to head inside, everyone's here already - Bill's already started drinking." Hazel said with a giggle as Joe smirked.

" Already?" Lizzie asked with a laugh as Hazel nodded, giggling," Well count me in." Floyd snickered as the two looked to each other with smirks.

" C'mon." Hazel said excitedly," Cath's in there as well!!"

" Cath?!" Lizzie said and almost in an instance the two girls were racing inside. The moved down the hall towards the kitchen which lead to an open back room and the kitchen with food filled to the edges and people everywhere.

" That Doc?"

" 'Eh, Lizzie!"

" Doc Elliot!" The second Hazel lead Lizzie towards where Catherine was, she saw Catherine immediately, her face glowing as she sat snuggled beside George on one of the couches, laughing at a comment non-other being made by Lewis Nixon. 

" Cath!" Lizzie squealed and almost instantly, heads popped up and eyes turned and Catherine's grin only widened, the protruding baby bump starting to show as Catherine didn't let it even stop her, racing straight into Lizzie's arms as Hazel watched the two with tear filled eyes.

" Oh gosh, look at you!" Catherine squealed pulling back and holding her at arm's length," You look beautiful, Lizzie, oh how I missed you."

" Me?" Lizzie said," Look at you, Cath! You're glowing!" Lizzie said as Catherine smiled softly, watching as Catherine's one hand went to rest on her stomach.

" Oh Cath..." she whispered, eyes shining," you're going to be a wonderful mother." Catherine couldn't help but smile.

" I missed my girl." Catherine said and Lizzie laughed.

" Lizzie!" a voice called and Lizzie glanced over to see George coming towards her a smile on his face.

" George!" she called, and the man came over and wrapped her in a warm hug," I missed ya, buddy."

" Aw, Liz, I missed you too." he said and hugged her close. Pulling back, she watched George wrap his arm over Catherine's shoulder and smile at her softly before glancing back at Lizzie.

" You bring that other guy here?" George said with a smirk as Catherine laughed - news was getting around it seemed, about Lizzie and Floyd - not that it wasn't suspected - but that they had come together.

" You talking about me, Luz?" a voice called and chuckles rose up through the room as George clapped his hands together and wrapped Floyd in a hug.

" I knew it was you, asshole!" George said as Floyd chuckled. The two started chattering about as Joe entered the conversation, the trio joking about as Lizzie chuckled.

" You want a drink?" Hazel asked her, gently putting a hand on Lizzie's shoulder with a smile," I got white wine. Just for you." 

" Just for me?" Lizzie said as Hazel giggled with a nod," Aw Hazel you treat me too well." Hazel giggled again. Lizzie had missed that familiar ring of the giggle.

" C'mon, a few of the guys were there the last I checked." Hazel said, as Hazel took her hand," You wanna come, Cath?" Catherine put a hand on her back and shook her head.

" I need the bathroom, I swear I could hold my bladder out there, first sign of pregnancy and I go every 15 minutes." she said as the two women giggled," You two head over, I'm about to beat Nix in a theory war we've been having since 1943."

" What about?" Lizzie asked with a laugh as Catherine smirked.

" The politics of college, some bullshit like that. It's quite humorous." Catherine said as the two women snickered," I'll be back."

" C'mon," Hazel said, pulling Lizzie's hand through the home towards where the drinks were. Lizzie watched Hazel peak her head around a corner and her face start to glow.

" Hey, guys! You'll never guess who's here!" Hazel called. The second Lizzie stepped around the corner, a smile lit up her face like a Christmas tree when she saw a mass of Easy men - Bill Guarnere was there with Joe Toye beside him, she saw even Captain Speirs standing there laughing at a joke that Welsh was telling.

" Doc!" Bill called and Lizzie didn't hesitate to run right into his arms into a hug. It's not like she saw them 4 months ago at the wedding, but well....4 months was a long, long time. Pulling back, Lizzie looked at him with shining eyes as Bill chuckled.

" Was wondering when you and pretty boy would finally arrive." Bill said as Lizzie let out a chuckle, throwing her head back in a laugh.

" Yeah, can you believe it? The guy gave wrong directions the entire ride over." Lizzie said as Bill chuckled as Lizzie turned to Joe Toye who she pulled quickly into a hug, his warm embrace bringing a comfort she had missed.

" It is Tab we're talking about." Joe said as Lizzie pulled back laughing. Lizzie wasn't sure how many people she'd hugged by the time she had a nice white wine in her grasp - she'd hugged Welsh so closely as he hopped around a bit, already a tad drunk from the likes of it, and even Captain Speirs had given her a hug, a warm one too. 

For such a tough guy, he seemed quite the softie with this company. 

Next was Lip who came around the corner and gave her a warm hug already holding her at arm's length like a proud father. 

Gene was there, showing up from the basement where he had been playing darts with a group, including Johnny, Bull, Babe and Skinny. Lizzie had nearly attacked him in a hug as he laughed in her ear. Malarkey had come after that group, with Chuck and Shifty following - she did get a bit emotional, she wouldn't lie about that. 

And even Captain Nixon gave her a hug, though once released Catherine started jabbing at him again from George's side on politics of colleges. 

Nerds. 

Lizzie had laughed to herself. 

Webster had made it, bringing some of his own beer with a bow on it as the guys all seemed to cheer it on. 

And finally Lizzie hugged Major Winters, and quite possibly held onto his hug a bit longer than she previously had the others. Everything though was absolutely wonderful, everything about it. 

Dinner was filled with stories and laughter and familial love. Supposedly Hazel's mother had made it out the previous week and was staying at the Liebgotts, helping Joe's mother prepare for the wedding. 

And Hazel couldn't stop herself from gushing to the Lizzie and Catherine about the dress - Lizzie had never seen Hazel glow like she had. 

As the night grew on, Lizzie remembered being curled into Floyd's side as he chatted with Chuck, listening to the soft whispers of people in the back room talking, and catching up. Lizzie softly let her gaze carry around the room and she looked towards Hazel.

Little Hazel. She'd always be Little Hazel in her mind, no matter how old she grew. 

Hazel was currently cuddled into Joe's side, playing with his hand, lacing and unlacing their fingers as Joe talked to George - quietly though. It seemed the last thing they wanted to do was scare the sleepy Hazel. 

Lizzie felt a smile crawl on her lips at the sight of Hazel and Joe. She couldn't help but get emotional thinking of the first day she had seen Hazel walk in through that door, such a youthful smile upon her lips as she stepped in with her WAC uniform, eyes glowing like sunshine. And to see her through a war and still manage to retain her innocence, her playful smile and her wisdom, made Lizzie's eyes well with tears. 

Seeing her curled up beside someone like Joe now - Hazel deserved that love.

" Hey," a voice whispered and Lizzie looked up to see Floyd watching her. A smile spread across her face, her eyes shining with tears.

" You okay?" Floyd asked her softly, gently brushing the soft skin upon her cheek as she melted into its warmth.

" Easy Company...we're together again." she whispered," And even if we're all not here. We hold all those stories..." Her voice cracked as Floyd smiled at her, his thumb warm as it brushed her pink lips.

" We are, aren't we?" he said with a tiny grin. Lizzie giggled softly, sniffling a bit as she did so. It was peaceful in Hazel and Joe's back room, in their cozy little home by the bay, where the warmth of a group who had fought in a war who would stay with them the rest of their lives sat in the pits of their hearts, but connected each man and woman to one another like lace. 

" I love you." Lizzie whispered, watching Floyd in the soft light," I was so scared of love, and it took me a war to show me love, not just with Easy, but with you." She softly cupped his cheek, watching as Floyd gently watched her eyes, their gentle blue sending waves of calmness through his body as he watched her. 

It was so relaxing just staring at her eyes, feeling the gentle touch of a medic's touch on his cheek. 

He felt so at peace with this woman.

" I love you too, Elizabeth." he said softly and Lizzie quirked out a smile at the name. She sniffled softly and looked into his eye. 

Softly, she pressed her forehead against his own, and let out a quiet breath, softly relishing the gentle rumbles of the voices in the background. 

This is what peace was, this intimate and gentle nature that war had deprived them of. 

This was peace. 

✰✰✰

_BRB CRYING!!! I swear each chapter I update just makes me even more emotional, I swear I'm fine LOL. But truly, this made me more emotional than I would've wished - just seeing everyone together again, seeing their joy and happiness that they all deserved - UGH MY HEART!! Good news - this is a DOUBLE UPDATE - which means THERES ANOTHER CHAPTER AHHHH!! But it means that after this double update, there's two chapters and an epilogue and WOW i am just not ready for that, but this is all nearly written at the current moment and will all be written by tonight. All good things must come to an end, no matter how enjoyable. :) thank you all <3 I hope you enjoy the next chapter! _


	70. blush

" But I love you so much more than just to the moon and back."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

To say the least, watching the wedding rehearsal occur had to be absolute chaos if anything. 

For one, George and Tab side by side, could not stop making the other laugh, and each time they began laughing harder and harder. Joe looked ready to slap them just about every time George let a chuckle past his lips. 

But Lizzie swore she was just being a baby, but seeing Hazel walk so gracefully beside Captain Speirs, a smile on her pink cheeks as she glanced shyly up towards him made Lizzie's heart burst. Little Hazel getting married was just...emotional. 

Even at some points she saw Speirs squeezing her hand just a bit tighter like he, himself, couldn't believe it either. 

Seeing Joe's eyes glow as he watched Hazel, at the rehearsal looked equally as adorable, as she skipped a bit up the steps and stopped in front of Joe. It seemed like half the time she was trying not to laugh at Joe and the other times it was vice versa. 

Lizzie found it hilarious as Catherine would snicker from beside her. 

But in the end, knowing that within a day the two would be married, Hazel and Joe would finally get the happiness they had deserved all through war. 

The night out on the town had been the 3 couples, away from the chaos of the wedding for a moment as Ms Parker and Mrs Liebgott finished last minute preparations. The rest of the boys whether unmarried or escaping their families for the night, went out to some of the local bars. But the group of 6 resorted to some of the local bay-side restaurants that sat along the water, with a view of the infamous Alcatraz across it. 

The mood was cheerful yet so wonderfully peaceful, with the dimmed lights of the warm atmosphere, laughs rising up from their chairs and bright eyes - such love and joy at a tiny little table in the middle of San Francisco - who knew joy could be found in a little place like this? Even after a war....who knew it could be this....this... this beautiful. 

Just seeing people happy again was what Lizzie needed, seeing the joy on peoples' faces and in their eyes, quiet laughter and relaxed faces. 

The war was with them and a part of them, but it simply was not them. 

Lizzie smiled more than she ever thought she would that night, the corners of her cheeks hurt more than she thought they would. She hoped to remember this moment years from now, when she would look back and think of who she served a war with - the brave men and women of Easy Company and of Operation Virago. She'd think of them, everyday. 

By the following morning, it was wedding day - Lizzie felt butterflies in her chest and she wasn't even getting married. Lizzie slipped down the church's hallway and towards where she knew the boys would be. She anticipated chaos when she opened the door, but at the same time did she expect anything less? 

Nope. 

Lizzie adorned the bridesmaid dress that her and Catherine had gotten a few days previous with Hazel - they were soft yellow dresses, with a bit of lace, but the softest material that hugged their curves, leaving at just about the collarbone exposed. It was gorgeous.

" Knock, knock." Lizzie called through the door, where she heard a bit of music, evident cheering - complete chaos more likely. 

" Hey!" she called, pounding her first on the door again," Can you douchebags here me?" There was no answer - if anything she was sure the voices just grew louder.

" Hey, guys!" she called again. Just then the door swung open and Lizzie was faced with Floyd on the other side, his tie loose around his neck, his white shirt half unbuttoned, untucked and his shoe laces not even tied.

" Floyd?" she asked him and Floyd chuckled at her.

" Hey, love." he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to her cheek as she watched him, still in a bit of shock admittedly, a smirk rising on her features as she stared at him.

" You dressed?" she asked sarcastically and Floyd scoffed as he opened the door a bit more, leaning up against the frame as Lizzie watched him, crossing her arms with a raised brow.

" You look nice." he said and Lizzie grinned softly," You know I love it when your hair's like that." Lizzie giggled, putting a hand softly over her lips.

" My hair's always like this." she countered him as he reached up, sticking his tongue out of his mouth a bit as if it were of importance and twirled a piece of blonde hair around his finger, admiring it with soft eyes before tucking it behind her ear. Lizzie softly watched him, her heart pounding a bit faster than she would've wished. 

To say her heart might've skipped a beat at the shy look her gave her next nearly made her blush. She didn't blush much though - of course Floyd made her blush more than she'd like but this...yeah she would've blushed if she didn't have to go back and try and act like Floyd hadn't just made her heart all mushy.

" I know." Floyd said," You just.....it's you." Floyd cocked his head a bit at her as she shyly smiled at him. 

" Are you sweet talking me? Are you trying to hide that Lieb's got a stain on his shirt or something - someone missing a shoe?" she said as Floyd let out a laugh towards her softly kissing her forehead.

" Everything's fine, wanna see for yourself? Lieb's been practicing his vows for over an hour."

" How's he doing? He okay?" Lizzie asked him, slightly worried - Lieb nervous? Well, for this, she could definitely see that he'd be. Floyd glanced over his shoulder and then gently pushed the door open as Lizzie saw George, god bless his heart, attempting to console a red-cheeked Joe Liebgott who held a paper in his head trying his best to read off the paper and memorize it? 

Whatever he was doing, it looked like it was only making him more of a nervous wreck if anything.

" Aw Lieb..." Lizzie said stepping forward as Joe looked up towards her - a complete sheer plate of panic was what he seemed to wear shyly. 

" Oh Lizzie thank God you're here, these two haven't been any help." Joe said and Lizzie smirked sadly at him as she let him gratefully hug her, letting out a soft sigh at her comforting embrace.

" I thought everything was under control Floyd Talbert." she called gently as she pulled back from Joe and glanced towards Floyd who stood smirking beside George who grinned.

" Yeah well, before you came Elizabeth." he said and Lizzie chuckled softly, before looking back up at Joe.

" You okay?" Lizzie asked him softly watching as Joe's eyes traced on the vowels again.

" I'm gonna forget every word, Lizzie. I mean I've been looking at this ever since I got down on 1 knee and I feel I'm just gonna freeze the second I get up there." he said, tripping over words, as his hands shook a bit.

" Hey, Joe, sit down okay, sit down." Lizzie said as Joe, with an exhausted hmph, sat down on the bed and sighed, running a hand through his hair - which looked as if it had been perfectly killed. Judging by George's reaction like a knife to the heart, it seemed it had taken a while.

" Hey," Lizzie said pulling a chair up in front of him, meeting his eyes softly," what's got you shaken up? You're marrying the love of your life - you're marrying Hazel."

" I know, it's just....I don't want to mess up, for her, she deserves this, and I just..." Joe shook his head," I'm gonna forget everything. Lizzie watched with a soft smile.

" What do you love about her?" Lizzie asked him, softly leaning forward on her crossed leg and watching him," What, you know, makes your heart skip a beat?" Joe watched her and softly bit back his lip. Then a dorky grin grew on his face as he scratched the back of his head.

" She looks at the stars, these tiny little glowing things in the sky, like they're the most beautiful thing in this world. The fact she loves something so far away, so distant, so tiny, yet so beautiful - one of the littlest things in the world....." Joe smiled wider, chuckling to himself," she loves the stars." Lizzie softly smiled at Joe, inching her chair closer to see the look in his eyes as they grew with such love.

" And you know, she just...she knows what to say, in any situation and whatever she's been through - she took that, and she's only ever been kind because of it." Joe's eyes grew teary, as her laced his fingers between each other and unlaced them and sighed," It's the little things - we took a walk the other day and she got a little bird on her finger. It was just one bird in thousands of birds yet she crouched beside him, talking to him in that little voice she does, and he watched her back like she was the most precious thing. God." Lizzie chuckled quietly as Joe wiped at his eyes for a moment.

" She's so strong....strongest woman I know." Joe whispered softly, sniffling a bit again," I don't know where I would've been in I didn't have a woman like that to be by after this war, to be able to be by her side." Lizzie smiled softly.

" How'd you know you loved her, Lieb?" she asked him softly, watching as Joe looked up at her.

" Paris....Paris 1944." Joe said quickly, a grin spreading on his lips," I mean, Hazel framed against the night sky...all those stars. Man, it'll never get old. No matter as long as I live."

" I think what solidified it though, was how long she was gone after her hit. I didn't think you could physically miss someone like that. I mean there were days I didn't want to get up because I knew Hazel wouldn't be there. Because she's who'd I look for in a crowd. You know, the pair of eyes in the chaos. I'd look for her. And I knew she wasn't there. Just having her in my arms again, I just...I knew I never wanted to feel that way again - making myself sick over not knowing if she'd be okay or not." Joe said softly, lacing his fingers together," Never again." By the time Joe had looked up at Lizzie again, her eyes were filled with tears. 

" You love her so much." Lizzie whispered, sniffling as she felt her throat clenching, as Joe felt himself get choked up a bit.

" I do." Joe managed out as Lizzie let out something between a laugh and a cry. Lizzie wiped at her eye and let out a quiet whimper past her lips, as she softly took Joe's hand in hers.

" She loves you even more Joe," Lizzie said nodding as her eyes continued to well with tears," So much. And I so moments there, where I saw this little girl scared to love, scared to live...and you showed her what it meant to be loved so purely, so rawly, so emotionally. When she told me...that she loved you, Joe....she's my sister and a sister wants to her sister find the love she's always deserved." Lizzie felt a tear trail down her cheek as Joe softly squeezed her hand as Lizzie let her lip tremble softly.

" These are happy tears I promise." she said as Joe chuckled softly, an extra tear squeaking out of his own eye. Lizzie sniffled and glanced at Floyd and George who stood with glossy eyes themselves. Lizzie felt a smile tremor on her lips as she watched them.

" You two deserve this more than anything, what the war offered, you both deserve this and each other." Lizzie said, squeezing his hand softly and Joe squeezed it back as Lizzie nodded. She watched his eyes fill further with tears and Lizzie knew if she watched his tears anymore she'd break down again.

" Alright, c'mere, c'mere, I can't look at tears anymore." she choked out with a laugh as she softly hugged Joe, rubbing his back softly as Joe held her for a moment, relishing the hug she provided for him, the moment of reassurance from someone who loved Hazel more than anything. Pulling back, Lizzie watched him, clearing her eyes from tears.

" Alright, can anyone get him a beer or something, you'll make everyone cry - and Floyd and I have a bet going that I can't lose."

" Hey!" complained Floyd as the group broke into laughter. Lizzie nodded to Joe who softly nodded back, turning to the paper crumpled at his side. With a sigh, he took the paper into his hands and rolled it up into a ball before throwing it into the nearby basket.

" I'm ready." Joe said, with a nod," I really am." George was the one who went over and started adjusting his tie and shirt and collar, all the meanwhile getting Joe to laugh a bit, and distract him from nerves. Floyd led Lizzie to the door as she stepped into the warm hallway and looked at him. Floyd brushed a stray tear from her cheek and smiled at her. She softly smiled at him and giggled quietly. 

Stepping forward, she pulled his tie tighter and he watched her softly the entire time with a little grin.

" Floyd...." she whispered.

" Alright just one." he said, pressing a soft kiss to her cheeks, causing the blush to finally escape up to her ears. Pulling back he smirked at her, that cocky grin coming back to his features.

" Asshole." she grumbled, her cheeks flaming red as she tried to smirk.

" Asshole." he muttered back. Lizzie just shook her head as pressed another kiss to his lips before turning and taking off down the hall towards where the women were. Floyd watched her go, quirking a small smile upon his lips as he watched her go.

" You look cute in that dress!" he called. Lizzie glanced over his shoulder and smirked at him.

" Do I now?" she called back and with a wink disappeared around the corner. 

Look who's blushing now. 

✰✰✰

_THIS TWO CHAPTER UPDATE GAVE ME SO MUCH LIFE I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT - yeah i needed this serotonin - BUT OMG GUYS!! these next two chapters, it's the wedding and reception and wow....i am EMOTIONAL - but you all already know that LOL!!! look out tomorrow for the next two chapters and the epilogue and my closing statement - in no way am i ready for this to end, i don't think it'll ever be over for me - i'll still go back with little scenarios and scenes for this story. it keeps it inside my heat <3 thank you all - i'm bittersweet for tomorrow! :) _


	71. my love for you

" I found you without looking and love you without trying."

\- Mark Anthony 

✰✰✰

" Knock, knock." a voice at the door echoed. Lizzie had rushed in to help Hazel finish applying a bit of blush to her cheeks, as the guests were settling into their seats, when the knocking had come at the door.

" Shit, who is it?" Catherine hissed as she gently attached the veil to Hazel's caramel curled haired head. Lizzie glanced at the door and sighed to herself. Hazel giggled.

" I swear if it's one of the boys...." Lizzie grumbled as Mrs. Liebgott and Ms. Parker came from the bathroom after wiping the mascara from their cheeks - ok they'd all been crying, but who wouldn't seeing Hazel dressed like a Greek Goddess? Lizzie approached the door and put her hand on the handle.

" George, Floyd - either of you two out there - out." she called through the door. She heard a low chuckle from the other side and immediately mentally face-palmed.

" I don't think either two of them are out here there, Elliot." the voice came back and Lizzie put a finger on the bridge of her nose - it was Captain Ronald Speirs and her she was acting like it was the two idiots with far too loose ties. Lizzie immediately opened the door and found Speirs on the opposite side. Forcing a hopefully not embarrassing smile on her face, she looked up at Speirs with a smile.

" Sorry about that." she said, scratching the back of her neck as he chuckled. She noticed his clean-pressed uniform he adorned, medals pinned to his chest, hair perfectly combed back, cap removed as he stepped inside the room. His hands even shook a bit.

" You don't look too bad, sir." Lizzie said as she shut the door behind him and Speirs couldn't help but roll his eyes.

" You don't have to call me, sir." he told her with a slight smirk and Lizzie snickered quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder and patting it.

" Then you don't have to call me Elliot." she told him and Speirs chuckled softly.

" Ron." a voice said and both Lizzie and Speirs turned to see Hazel - with help from Catherine, sit up from the chair and, innocently, push the veil from her face as she approached him. Lizzie could tell immediately that Speirs' face soften, a smile reaching the corners of his lips as he looked at her with glowing eyes. Lizzie could see the corners of his eyes turned up even, into that little grin.

" Oh Hazel..." Speirs said as he softly took her hands in his, looking at her with soft eyes, shaking his head a bit, as if in shock," you look beautiful." Lizzie could see that Hazel was quite literally trying not to break down in front of him.

" Thank you." she managed out, as the first tear bubbled to her eye.

" Aw hey now, don't mess up your pretty make up." he said, reaching to pull a handkerchief from his uniform pocket and softly hold her still as she giggled, wiping underneath her eye with a gentle nature Lizzie had never seen the man possess. Lizzie glanced at Catherine, who already an emotional and hormonal mess was tearing up, holding a hand to her mouth as a tear squeaked out of her eye.

" God," she whispered, fanning her eyes as Lizzie giggled lightly, letting a few tears filter her own eyes. Speirs gently pulled the handkerchief back and looked at Hazel with a love she deserved to be looked at with. 

The love her father had not given her, but what Speirs now did. Hazel softly reached up to hug the man, and Speirs didn't hesitate to hug her right back, holding her so close, shoving his head into her neck as the two held each other close. Speirs knew why he was there, why he had taken this place with pride and with love. Because Hazel deserved a good wedding, and with a man who loved her for her and did not leave when things got tough. 

A knock came at the door as the wedding planner stuck her head in. Speirs pulled back from Hazel as the group looked towards the door.

" We're ready." she said. Lizzie smiled wide, turning to Hazel, who grinned wide, her eyes still a bit glossy as Speirs watched her softly. She was ready - they all were. 

Canon in D was playing - Lizzie was stood beside Catherine, up at the alter in front of everyone, awaiting Hazel to appear with Ronald Speirs at the end of the isle. Lizzie glanced at Catherine who softly took her hand in her own and squeezed it as tears flooded her eyes. 

Lizzie let out a soft sigh and looked into the crowd where she could pick out Easy Company, family, friends, and the small group of Virago women adorning their uniforms with pride. Lizzie smiled at them and nodded and they all grinned. She even saw Grace and Harry in the crowd, tears in their eyes as they awaited Hazel. Lizzie's heart swooned. Her eyes carried her to Joe who stood near the priest - they'd opted for an interfaith wedding. 

It was what both Hazel and Joe had wanted, and Lizzie was more than excited to see the beauty of it all. Joe was already sporting a fresh set of tears, as George watched his friend with a soft smile.

Lizzie smiled softly before meeting Floyd's eyes. He watched her with bright eyes, a grin on his face. 

God he was beautiful. 

Suddenly, everyone rose and Lizzie turned her attention to the end of the isle to see right at the end of the isle was Hazel arm-in-arm with Speirs, a smile on her face, as Speirs held her so gently and closely to himself like she were the most precious thing in the world. 

Lizzie was positive she saw a tear streak down Joe's face as he held back the slight quiver on his lip as he looked at Hazel was such soft eyes. 

Lizzie watched Hazel in the beautiful dress walk down the isle with Speirs, gripping his arm so gracefully, sending tiny glances up at him every so often as he looked down at her and patted her hand softly. 

For the first time in ages, it was like Speirs was trying to hold back his own tears. 

Joe softly moved down the few steps of the alter as Speirs, instead of the handshake, went in for a hug, hugging Joe close, in such a tender-hearted hug. 

Pulling back, Speirs turned to Hazel and gently hugged her, with a whisper of a kiss on her cheek before passing Hazel's hand to Joe's, who took her with such a softness and excitement. Lizzie watched them move up the alter towards the priest with tear-filled eyes. 

Wiping under her eye briefly, she caught Floyd's eyes and he watched her softly as she smiled.

" We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the blending of two hearts, the joining of Joseph and Hazel in marriage." Lizzie nearly broke there at the priests words.

" We have come together to witness the union of these two hearts. Out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary has happened. Joseph and Hazel met, fell in love and are celebrating as much with their wedding today. Joseph and Hazel, life is given to each of us as individuals, and yet we must learn to live together. Love is given to use by our family and friends - we learn to love by being loved. Learning to love and living together is one of the greatest challenges of life and it is the shared goal of a married life." Lizzie watched Joe look towards Hazel as she glanced shyly towards him. 

Yep, she knew their hearts were racing and yearning even more for the other. It was adorable. The priest read a rather emotional and moving passage from the bible, before wine was brought out to be drank from by Joe and Hazel, who took it oh-so-gracefully. Lizzie smiled as the two faced each other, holding on another's hands softly together - she swore Joe's thumb was brushing over her skin like a feather making her grin more and more. The vows.

" Joseph and Hazel today have prepared their very own vows today that they'd like to share with everyone." the priest said and nodded to the two of them. Hazel looked to Joe and he smiled softly at her, his eyes evidently bubbling with tears as he stood there gripping her hands so gently. 

" Joe Liebgott." Hazel said, a smile building on her face as she watched him, like it were some sort of inside joke," The moment I first met you was in England, in a barrack, some dusty old British barrack. And I told you that to fight for what was right was something I would've done just the same." Joe chuckled softly, as everyone automatically felt smiles on their faces.

" I met you in a place where it seemed love was so distant and so fearful for the time. Yet, it prevailed despite it all." Hazel said softly, her eyes never leaving Joe's for a second," You loved me when I couldn't love myself." Joe looked like he was barely holding himself together anymore as he gripped her hands. 

" You're my best friend above anything, not only the man I'm marrying, but my best friend." Hazel said, quirking out one of those innocent little smiles Lizzie loved so much," I fell in love with someone who I told the stars about." She giggled about at the word and it made a few laughs echo around the room. Her smile slowly fell slowly.

" I think I realized I was falling when I wasn't even by your side. Sitting alone in a hospital, fighting for my leg, my life. And everyday, I thought about you so much, Joe. More than I thought I would. And sitting in that hospital bed, I realized more than ever that after this war, there was far more than simply just a war. There was a life worth living, and it was a life I wanted to live with you." Hazel said softly," And coming back to you, being in your arms again - I wanted you to hold me like that forever and never let go because I knew." 

" I knew in that moment that despite a war I loved you, every piece of you - you're eyes and the way they glowed, the way your smile turned into that snarky little smirk, I loved it when I saw your dimples," her voice cracked the slightest bit," the way you wore your heart on your sleeve, even if you think you didn't. I saw your heart and I loved your heart." Hazel said softly, cocking her head to the side innocently as she smiled up at Joe, who watched her with so much love. Lizzie was damn near breaking, she could feel her lip quivering as her eyes filled with tears faster and faster.

" You changed my life, Joe - even with Operation Virago, with Catherine and Lizzie, the girls who became my sisters, I had the privilege to meet you and love you." Hazel whispered softly," And seeing you happy, so genuinely happy I felt was a moment I'll always think back - seeing your smile in the snow.." Her voice broke again and Lizzie nearly was about to let out the cry in her throat. Blowing out her cheeks she watched Hazel sniffle a bit.

" I'll always love you, Joe Liebgott." she said softly," Even when we're 80 years old watching our grand children playing with the newest toy of the year, I'll still look over and see you on the Effiel Tower that night all those months ago. I gave you my heart and you've kept it close to your own. And....I love you....so much. Thank you for showing me love, that love is far more beautiful than it is in the books, that it's worth it more than....more than anything." Hazel smiled at him softly and Lizzie softly put a hand on Catherine's shoulder who turned to her with her own tear filled eyes.

" Hazel Parker," Joe stared and Hazel giggled quietly," I always remember....the night I walked out and I saw this woman, widest smile on her face, staring at the stars. And of course, I walked over, I was curious myself," Hazel laughed lightly - it seemed a little moment between the two of them and to say it made Lizzie's heart burst," and the minute I sat down, you started talking about the stars as if they were your friends. You saw the beauty in the little things, something that I think war tried to take from us more than anything." Hazel squeezed his hand softly.

" I never saw someone see beauty like that," Joe said," and I guess you could say I admired you more than I thought I would, but that's what they say. The unexpected love is the best love." Hazel giggled - Lizzie swore it was the most pure sound in the world.

" And I swore, you were covered in dirt and rain water out there but I had never adored you more, Hazel Parker." Joe said, his eyes turning serious, watching her - the water works were starting.

" I've never met someone as strong as you, Hazel." Joe said softly, as tears filled his eyes," And I know people just sort of throw those words around like it's nothing, but you're one of the strongest women I know. You laughed in times that I swore no one could find something to laugh about - and I swore with that little laugh of yours flowers could grow." Hazel laughed lightly, wiping a tear from her cheek in the spure of the moment.

" I'm serious," Joe said through a laugh as Hazel giggled again," if there was ever a crowd, I'd look for you." Hazel watched him, tears welling in her eyes as Lizzie sniffled softly to herself.

" Those big, blue eyes - someone who saw the best in people, kept spirits up, made sure no one was left out despite anything.." Joe smiled softly, laughing lightly, leaning forward towards Hazel a bit," someone who even made me laugh."

" You weren't that tough to crack." she whispered softly as the two laughed, making smiles appear on virtually everyone's faces in the room.

" I won't ever stop treating you like you deserve to be treated." Joe whispered," How a woman like you deserves to be treated." Lizzie let out a soft smile.

" I love you, Hazel Parker," Joe said softly, gently kissing her hand," to the stars and back." Hazel let out another tiny giggle at his words - he'd said it to make her laugh, if anything. Joe always knew how to get that giggle going. And as they slid the rings onto one another's fingers, Lizzie couldn't help but glance out towards the crowd, where she was sure half of Easy by this point was near tears. 

" Do you Joseph Liebgott take Hazel Parker to be your wife?" The priest asked him.

" I do." Joe said, his eyes so soft as he watched Hazel.

" Do you promise to love, cherish, and protect her whether in good fortune or in adversity and to be with each other in sickness and in health?"

" I do."

" Do you Hazel Parker take Joseph Liebgott to be your husband?"

" I do." Hazel whispered softly, squeezing Joe's hands softly as Lizzie smiled softly at their enclosed hands.

" Do you promise to love, cherish, and protect her whether in good fortune or in adversity and to be with each other in sickness and in health?"

" I do." Hazel whispered softly. 

The priest cleared his throat, as he gave the 7 Jewish Blessings Sheva B'rachot. Lizzie watched the light softly shine in through the colored glass panes down onto the couple at the alter. Shining under the sunlight. 

The priest ended with a Jewish closing prayer and Lizzie thought it was one of the most beautiful sayings she'd ever heard in her life. The traditional glass breaking between the two was adorable, as Joe clasped his hands over Hazel as they broke the glass, a protection for their marriage, for their pure love. 

The joy of the words Mazel Tov rung out from the crowd as Hazel and Joe looked at one another with shining eyes.

" I now pronounce you Husband and Wife." The priest said as the two looked at one another," You may now kiss the bride." 

Lizzie let out a massive grin as within seconds, Joe had soft gently cupped Hazel's cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, their eyes gently closed, as the moment seemed silenced for them. 

The crowd went up in cheers, as the chairs grew ready to through their rice and Joe seemed to smirk into the kiss. 

As the two pulled away, Lizzie let out a cheer as more seemed to echo, Easy Company letting out their whoops and hollers as immediately the couple hugged, laughing in one another's ears.

" I would like to introduce to you all, Mr and Mrs, Joe and Hazel Liebgott!" 

And the cheering didn't stop as they moved down the alter and through the pews and to the car awaiting outside, rice in their hair and clothing - it never stopped. 

For the two people who deserved more love than anyone, they finally had their hearts touching one another, after years, they were forever bonded by their pure love. 

✰✰✰

_I AM TOO EMOTIONAL TO PUT ANY FURTHER COMMENT ON THESE I SWEAR :,)_

_Look out for the next chapter, epilogue and all my closing words - brb crying <3 _


	72. smiling stars

" Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

" 5 bucks Lizzie pay up."

" Shut up."

" 5 bucks."

" Oh alright." Lizzie slipped the 5 dollars into his hand as Floyd smirked at her. The music that played over the speakers was drowned out by the $1,000,000 smirk that emitted from his lips. 

" Alright, Mr., you won this round and this round only." she said as Floyd couldn't help but peck her cheek softly in the process.

" Floyd, stop it." she said with a giggle as Floyd chuckled against her cheek.

" Alright, alright, I will." he said," But just one more." He pressed another kiss to her cheek as he leaned away and smiled softly at her.

" I just....I'm happy with you, Liz, like real happy." 

" Floyd you're getting sappy." she said with a laugh.

" Ah, you know I do it to hear that giggle." he said and Lizzie giggled again shaking her head.

" Hey!' a voice called through the room," Can we get the newly-weds out here! It's time for...the first dance!" 

Cheers rose up around the room, as Joe rose from his chair to lead Hazel towards the center of the dance floor where the soft spotlight sat there as cheers slowly died down. Lizzie softly glanced at Floyd who watched softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as Lizzie softly rested her head against his shoulder, inhaling his soft scent. Lizzie watched as the lights dimmed everywhere except the dance floor. 

Slowly the gentle tune of Amapola came over the speakers and she saw a smile glow on Hazel's face. Lizzie knew why - Joe had danced with her in a spotlight in Mourmelon-le-Grande to this song, as he sang it softly to her. It became her favorite song after that. 

Lizzie smiled as the newly-weds danced, their arms clasped around the other's waist, gazing at one another's eyes. It even seemed like Joe was whispering the words softly to her, making her smile. 

Lizzie looked to Floyd and watched his smile grow watching two people who were like a brother and who was like a sister to him, finally hold each other close in the bond of a beautiful marriage. 

It was beautiful to watch them dance, but halfway through the song, Lizzie found herself looking up to Floyd, whom she was not so discretely watching with gentle eyes. Softly leaning against him further, she swayed in his arms, in their own little corner. 

The annual Father-Daughter dance, turned into Speirs in near tears as he danced with Hazel, a bit choked up as any normal father would be, except this time it was a Captain and his most trusted soldier. 

A moment that Lizzie knew Hazel would always remember, by the way she held so tightly onto Speirs, simply swaying side to side relishing the comforting Captain's touch. 

As the night drew on, moving later in the night, people dancing, talking, laughter rising up through the night, Lizzie had found herself retreating away, outside in the fairly cool night, sitting with her glass of white wine as the gentle thrum of music moved out of the door. The night was beautiful, sitting there with wine and the peace and quiet outside of the hall. 

The war had changed their lives, each and everyone of their lives. And looking back, she wouldn't change what happened to her because then she wouldn't have been sitting here with this group of people right in this very moment. She thought back on the war often, more often than she ever did, more often than she wanted to, but war was part of the cycle of life - there was always war. It was just a matter of what you did with it, what you did after. 

Not only survive anymore but live and continue to live. 

She would've never been a Nurse Corps member if it weren't for war. 

She would've never been apart of Operation Virago or met the two women she would forever cherish with her life. 

She would've never been apart of Easy Company and held the family that was within that group of men who had taken her and the other women in with open arms. 

She would've never had to fight the battles who shaped her into the woman she was today. 

She would've never met someone like Floyd Talbert who loved her despite the grief in her heart. 

Lizzie smiled to herself, sipping her drink softly again, listening to the joy inside the hall - a joy that they all deserved.

" Hey, you." a voice said and Lizzie turned to see Catherine there, stepping out from the hall entrance with a glass of water in her grasp a smile on her face.

" Cath!" Lizzie said, moving to stand but Catherine waved her hand in front of her face.

" No, no, you sit, I need to sit on down, George almost didn't stop dancing in there." she said as she slowly sat down beside Lizzie, gulping back the bit of water in the cup and sighing as the moonlight streamed down, sparkling a bit on the visible bay down from the hill they were atop of with the hall. 

" How're you feeling? The little baby treating you well?" Lizzie said as Catherine laughed lightly, shaking her head.

" So far, the morning sickness I could've done without though." Catherine said and Lizzie laughed lightly shaking her head," George was there though and Chip. Pretty sure I scared the poor little guy to death the one day." Lizzie snickered sipping her wine softly. Catherine watched her, a gentle grin on her face.

" You okay? Seems there's a lot on your mind." Catherine said, gently rubbing her shoulder affectionately with a smile. Lizzie looked at her and smiled softly, nodding her head.

" I think about the war a lot," Lizzie said," more than I want....but I get over it." 

" It sucks." Catherine said, the truth automatically spilling - there were people who couldn't even face the truth of war at this point and it did it sucked," I'm glad though, happy and proud for who I met, who I loved, and who's stories we tell. And this story, Easy's story, I want to tell it." Lizzie watched Catherine softly with shining eyes.

" Even with everyone we've lost..." Lizzie whispered," I feel them in my heart sometimes, ya know? Just a familiar presence - like they're never really gone." Catherine smiled softly, wrapping her arm around Lizzie's shoulder, as Lizzie softly rested her head on Catherine's shoulder, sighing softly.

" Hey!" a voice said and both women turned to see a pair of shining eyes in a beautiful dress standing in the door, a bottle of wine in her grasp, her eyes aglow.

" Hazel!" the two women said at the same time as Hazel grinned softly, giggling.

" How are you two?" she said, moving forward to softly sit beside Catherine and gaze upon the two with a beautiful, pure smile.

" Better now that you're here, Tiny." Catherine said, wrapping an arm around Hazel's shoulder as Hazel laughed lightly, softly resting her head on Catherine's shoulder just like Lizzie and sighed softly, as they watched the moon shine upon the bay below.

" Did you ever think it'd be like this?" Hazel whispered," Back in Normandy, did you ever think we would've been here in this moment? I never would've."

" No." Catherine said softly," Never."

" Me either." whispered Lizzie softly," But I'm glad I didn't anticipate it or think it'd be this way - I'm glad it turned out just the way it did. Right here, with you two." Catherine and Hazel smiled wide, grins on their faces.

" I'm happy it was you two," Hazel whispered softly, sniffling a bit," that when I learned who I'd be joining Easy with...that it was you two, out of all those brave women, it was you two." 

" You've been like sisters to me," Hazel said quietly, sitting up briefly from Catherine's shoulder as she watched the two women with tear filled eyes," you'll always be my sisters." A tear softly fell down her cheek as Catherine smiled sadly, reaching up to wipe the tear from her cheek softly with a smile.

" Aw Hazel," Lizzie said, reaching forward to gently grasp her hand as Hazel smiled at the two. Lizzie watched Hazel's eyes well with tears further, and Lizzie started tearing up further. 

" I was so scared for the future, but I don't think I'm that scared anymore." Hazel whispered softly as Catherine softly brushed away another tear on her cheek - Hazel laughed," Crying on my wedding night, I'm sorry."

" Awe Hazel, honey," Catherine said as Hazel softly rested her head against Catherine again and smiled softly, tears streaming down her cheeks," it's okay, you know I won't be doing much for another 6 months max and beyond that." Hazel laughed and Lizzie smirked up at Catherine.

" Easy will always be apart of use, hell the 3 of us are stuck with 3 of them ourselves." The 3 women burst out laughing at Catherine's comment. Hazel softly sipped from the wine bottle with a sigh and Lizzie chuckled.

" What?" Hazel asked her with a giggle.

" You drinking from a bottle - never thought I'd live to see the day." Lizzie said as she laughed. Little Hazel. Always Little Hazel. Hazel laughed.

" I guess you can say this is a day of change." Hazel said as the trio laughed again, almost hysterically at the comment. 

Sitting there with one another surrounded by moonlight and warmth, the three women embraced the comfort of having Easy all in one mixing pot - having the ones who breathed the fresh air of life, those whose stories lived within their hearts and those who had supported and been there, watching their son or daughter go off to a war not made for the young.

" Life was so scary." Hazel whispered softly, a gentle smile growing on her face as Lizzie grinned, reaching forward to gently take Hazel's hand in her own and squeezing it," I don't think I'm that scared anymore." Lizzie met Hazel's shining eyes. 

" You've always been ready," Lizzie said softly as Catherine watched Hazel with gentle eyes," Cath and I, from the moment you walked through that door, I knew.....I knew you were born for this. Even with a war like that and what happened, I knew you were ready. And you're ready for life. Not only do you have Easy, but you have Joe, a man who loves you for you, who saw you at your best and worst, and will always love you, and you have Cath and I."

" We'll always love you Hazel," Catherine said as Hazel looked up at Catherine softly.

" You'll always be my sisters," Hazel said, a tear falling down her cheek as she giggled, going to wipe it away quickly," even with different mothers." The trio laughed together, throwing their head backs in the night, their laughs swinging into the sky, through the stars and to the moon, in through the hall with a soft whisper.

" Thank you," Hazel said softly watching them. Lizzie teared up. 

" Thank you," Hazel whispered again, squeezing their hands gently as Catherine's own eyes couldn't hold the tears anymore.

" You're going to make me cry like a baby, Hazel." Catherine said and Hazel laughed lightly, wiping her own eyes as she did so.

" You already have a baby though," Hazel said and that sent the group laughing again, eyes squeezed shut as tears squeezed out from pure, raw joy.

" What's it's name?" Lizzie asked Catherine as Catherine smirked and shook her head.

" Well, George has already decided he wants either a George Jr or a Ricky for a boy, and I said Lana for a girl - 6 more months and we'll see which way it goes."

" Sounds like Joe," Hazel giggled out," he already mentioned Joe Jr, but I fired back with Juliette. Of course when the time comes - I still have to get through college." The trio laughed again, louder than ever before. 

And as the next drew on, smiles and laughter left their mouths - the joy even after a war which seemed determine to suck joy from every cell of life. 

The stars smiled that night, Lizzie knew they were smiling. 

Smiling down on the trio of women under the stars and the clear sky. 

There sat the smallest star, shining with her friends under the darkness of the night. She glowed the brightest. 

They all did. 

✰✰✰

_And here we are.....the final chapter. :,)_

_join me in the epilogue next chapter and then a thanking page for all of you. thank you, truly._

_thank you, all of you. <3 _


	73. epilogue

" Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what."

_\- Unknown_

✰✰✰

_**June 6th, 1966 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania** _

_**20th Annual 101st 506th 'Screaming Eagles' Easy Company Reunion** _

_Juliette Liebgott's POV_

Juliette remembered the look upon her parents' faces when Joe Jr. had first said he was joining the Marines with George Jr. 

Their faces turned ashen, she swore her mother's face had turned somewhat green and the grip on her father's arm was firm in its hold. It had scared Juliette. 

Mara had been sitting quietly at the table, yes, Juliette remembered that much and Aster had been typing away at his stupid typewriter in the corner, not so discretely sneaking quiet glances towards the kitchen to where Joe and their parents were. 

Juliette remembered her mother's cries in their bedroom that night after dinner, after Aster and Mara had offered to clean up and Joe went to call George on the phone who was in Rhode Island. 

Juliette had been going to grab some more paint, but had stopped at the door when she heard one of her mother's innocent cries, muffled quite possibly by one of father's loving hugs. He gave good hugs. It was probably what her mother needed more than anything. 

And she remembered the tremor in her mother's voice, the complete, utter fear that had laced it, the horror that struck in her tone. Juliette had never quite heard her mother's voice like that before, only when they had learned that Grandmom had gotten quite sick. 

Juliette tried to not let it get to her but more than once she found herself looking out her window, up towards the stars, praying to God or whoever there was above to keep Joe and George safe, each and every one of the soldiers who fought over there that they would be safe. 

After Joe had left, it was quieter at dinner. 

Of course, Mom did most of the talking - she wasn't much of a talker in her youth, all her children knew that - but the night after he had left, she had barely touched her food and had looked half a minute away from tears every single minute. 

And she saw her father's white knuckles, and the pained looks towards her mother, even across the dinner table, the complete utter ache of seeing his wife, her mother in so much pain and desperation over this war. Another war for her parents, one of many for their children. 

Back home, on the little lighthouse calendar her Dad always got her Mom every year for Christmas, there would be a little number on the corner of each and every day. Juliette knew Mom was counting down the days until her son's return.

Mara tried to stay positive mostly, reading books with Mom at night or going on walks with Dad in his free time. Aster didn't look at calendars, he kept it in his mind. Dad preferred not to try and track when his son would return home, it kept him off edge and helped calm Mom down. 

Now, so far from home, it seemed to keep everyone's mind off the fact they Joe and George Jr were fighting in a war that had been spanning for far too long already and completely different from the war their parents had fought in. 

Juliette sat with her head on the table over her crossed arms, lazily looking out towards the dance floor where she saw Dad twirling Mara, a smile on his face as Mara let out a little laugh as she did so. Mom was over with Aunt Cath and Aunt Liz, the 3 of them, thick as thieves, all talking, as they sipped white wine together at their own little table. They always wrote letters to each other, Juliette saw them in the mail almost daily, and half the time, Mom was curled on a chair in the living room, laughing through the phone to one of them about something. 

Juliette sighed to herself - another year with Joe and George Jr. They'd shipped out just last year before last year's reunion. It'd been odd, not having either of them here - it seemed the majority of people who knew both of them were used to it or merely numb.

" Jules! Hey...hey Jules!" a voice called and Juliette turned her tired head over her shoulder to see non other than Everett Talbert racing towards her, grin on his face, and a fair attempt at gelled-hair flying up from his head. Juliette smirked at him and pushed her head up from the table. 

Everett had to be her favorite cousin - sure she had quite a lot. There was the Luz's - George Jr, Lana and Ricky and then there were the Talbert's - Mallory, Everett and Annie. She loved all her cousins, but Everett had to be the one she had fun around, but he was almost her same age and they got along well.

" What?" she asked him and Everett smiled.

" Speirs is here."

" Ron?" she said, her face lighting up like a light bulb. 

Ronald Speirs had been the one to walk Mom down the isle, and he never failed to send the kids presents on birthdays and Christmas and sometimes even on random days of the year - and he visited when he could, dropping by in the summer usually to take all the kids out to ice cream and to go see the Golden Gate Bridge. She hadn't seen him since last summer though, before school had started.

" C'mon." Everett said as Juliette jumped up from her chair and started racing after Everett through the crowd, nearly knocking Mr. Nixon over where he stood with Mr. Winters as they talked.

" Ron!" Juliette called as the man turned his head towards the sound - he wore his uniform again - Everett loved his uniform, he thought it was the coolest thing. And a smile grew on his face at the sight of the duo.

" Hey there Jules." he said and immediately wrapped her in a warm hug, as she smiled wide. Pulling back she smiled up at him as he looked to Everett. Ron knew practically all the children here and so Everett standing there with a toothy grin wasn't a surprise.

" Hi Ron!" he called excitedly and Ron chuckled.

" Hey there, buddy." he said pulling him in for a hug as Everett laughed lightly. Everett though Ron was one of the coolest people ever, he always did.

" How was your trip to England?" Juliette asked him as the trio began walking back towards the main group.

" Well, ran into a few old friends there and we went out to the pub to catch up, before I went to London mostly, hung around there, went to some exhibitions, all that fun stuff." Ron said and Juliette smiled.

" Like plane exhibitions?" Everett asked and Ron chuckled with a nod.

" Yeah bunch of stuff from the war was there, everywhere. Maybe I'll try and convince your parents to let me take you too sometime." Everett looked to Juliette and Juliette's eyes widened with excitement.

" Oh Ron, pretty please!" she said jumping up and down as Ron chuckled to her.

" I'll see what I can do about next summer then." he told the two as Juliette and Everett squealed in excitement," Where's your Mom? I heard she just got promoted." Juliette's eyes grew two sizes and she grinned.

" She's with Aunt Cath and Aunt Liz, over there." Juliette said pointing to the group. 

Mom had just gotten a promotion for what she had done for the space shuttle launch that they're preparing at NASA. Her Mom couldn't stop talking about it at dinner most nights and Juliette always liked to see her mother so enthused and excited - and then Dad would get excited and you would hear them go outside with tea at night and look at the starts and just nearly talk all night.

" Well, I'll see you two around, alright - save me one of those little pecan pies alright." Ron said and the two laughed.

" Always." Juliette said as Ron moved away towards the table where her mother sat. Juliette turned to Everett.

" What are you two giggling about?" a voice asked and they turned to see Mallory Talbert standing there with a smirk on her face.

" Oh god not again - you always ask the stupidest questions." Everett complained as Mallory rolled her eyes. Juliette laughed lightly.

" Ron might take us to see the exhibitions in England one day." Mallory grinned.

" Don't go telling Eugene Guarnere that now alright? The boy will be up both your asses to join you." she said - she wasn't wrong. 

A college boy, Eugene Guarnere strutted a cocky smirk and had a loud mouth like his father - he was hilarious if Juliette said so herself, but he would join and proceed to want to make a presentation on everything and annoy Ron to hell.

" Where's Dad?" Everett asked Mallory as she raised a brow.

" Probably off with Uncle Chuck again." she said," They got a dart board set up anyway, so I wouldn't be surprised."

" I'll see you later Jules!" Everett called immediately, blasting off towards the dart room - and probably to convince his father to let Ron take him to the exhibitions. Mallory and Juliette chuckled.

" You doing okay Jules? How's Aunt El?" 

When Mallory had been a baby, she couldn't say much besides things like Dada and Momma and when she tried saying her Mom's name - El was the only thing that had followed. So Aunt El sorta stuck for Mallory.

" She's okay, but she worries you know for Joe." Juliette said quietly glancing up at Mallory who wrapped an arm over her shoulder.

" He'll be okay, both of 'em," she said, rubbing her shoulder," as kids we used to wrestle each other in the yards and near the Christmas tree on Christmas - tough as balls he is, I know he'll be okay. Don't tell your Mom I said that word though, she thought it was Milo that had scratched him." Juliette laughed, whipping her head back as she chuckled. 

Milo was their fat, orange cat that Lizzie had opted to get as a companion to the German Shepherd they also had, Buddy. 

As Mallory and Juliette walked, arm in arm, Juliette briefly glanced towards where she saw George holding little Ricky who was fast asleep in his arms, as he quietly talked to Joe Toye who was sipping on a beer. It was getting quite later, but it seemed Easy never cared - they'd celebrate until the next day even. They made it back to the Liebgotts' table and Juliette gently sat down again as Mallory smiled at her.

" I'll see ya around, I have to hunt down Don, he's got a new book for me." she said and Juliette grinned as Mallory teetered away looking for him. 

Softly she let her eyes rest on little Ricky snuggled into his father's arms, softly sleeping, with his eyes closed and glasses for his big brown orbs, nearly falling off, as Uncle George's hand gently rubbed his back to sleep. 

Juliette let her gaze carry towards where her Dad was, helping pour Mara now some ice cream into her bowl by the ice cream stand that Bill Guarnere was especially adamant about every year. Mara turned and briefly saw Juliette and watched as her Dad grabbed a bowl and filled it with chocolate ice cream. 

Juliette smiled as the two came over, smiles on their faces. Mara looked a lot like Dad and so did Aster, while Juliette and Joe Jr, looked more like their Mom - but Joe Jr still had Dad's height. Juliette had gotten Mom's.

" Jules, we got your favorite." Mara said as her Dad placed down her bowl to help Mara into the seat beside Juliette," Chocolate with all the fixings." Her favorite phrase as her Dad laughed.

" Yeah, Mara wanted to get you this, it was her idea." Dad said as he placed the bowl in front of her and then took a seat beside Juliette with a grin.

" Thanks guys." Juliette said as she softly hugged little Mara who giggled in her arms. Juliette then softly hugged her Dad as her squeezed her tight.

" Guess what Dad?" Juliette said as she pulled back and got ready to scoop ice cream into her mouth.

" You found another underrated artist?" her Dad guessed and Juliette laughed as Mara giggled.

" No, I wish, but even better." she said," Ron said he'd take Everett and I to the exhibitions in England." Her Dad automatically smiled.

" You should go," he said," but like always, best behavior, you do what Ron tells you alright? Listen to him, don't stray from him. Alright?" Juliette couldn't help but wrap her Dad in a tight hug again.

" Thanks Dad," she said softly and her Dad chuckled.

" You're welcome, kiddo," he said as she pulled back," now you gonna eat this before it all melts or do I have to eat it?" Juliette and Mara giggled as Juliette scooped the ice cream up as quick as she could.

" Not on my watch!" she called.

" What are you 3 up to?" Juliette heard her Mom's voice say and Juliette turned with a smile to see her Mom there, eyes wide with excitement, a smile on her face.

" Daddy got us ice cream!" Mara squealed as Mom laughed lightly looking to Dad with a small smirk. He winked at her and she laughed.

" Is it good?" Mom asked Mara as Juliette grinned.

" So good, Mommy, you HAVE to try it - it is ESSENTIAL to your life."

" Where'd you learn such a big word like that?" Juliette said with a laugh.

" Aster, where ever he is." Mara said with a little giggle.

" Probably with Lana playing darts with Uncle Tab." 

" Ooooh right." Mara said and Mom laughed before looking at Juliette.

" I heard Ron offered to take you and Everett to the exhibitions in England," she said. Juliette's eyes widened.

" Mom please, Dad said I could go and I promise I'll listen to Ron-" Mom stopped her with a gentle hand on the shoulder almost immediately, a soft smile drawn up on her lips as Juliette watched her softly.

" I already told him that once we get home your packing your bags for the one at the end of June." Mom told her. Juliette's eyes widened.

" Really?"

" Yes, of course! Any chance a child of mine gets the chance to travel the world I invite it." she said, but there was a hint of sadness in her words - instead of traveling the world Joe Jr, seemed to be fighting the world. But tonight was about happiness, they couldn't dwell. Juliette shot up into her mother's arms hugging her close as Mom laughed lightly.

" I have to go tell Everett." she said, " I'm sure Aunt Liz will let him go." Mom smirked at her."

I have no doubts." Juliette jumped up, ice cream in hand and took off, Mara watching her with bright eyes as she did so. Mara turned back to her Mom and Dad as Mom took over Juliette's seat.

" Mommy? Daddy?" she asked as she licked her spoon, her parents watching expectantly.

" What is it, honey?" Mom asked, reaching up to brush a caramel lock of hair from her eyes.

" If Jules gets to go to England, Joey gets to go to Asia and Aster gets to go to Canada, can I go somewhere?" she asked. Mom glanced at Dad with a raised brow as Dad leaned forward.

" Where you wanna go, kiddo?"

" To the stars." Mara said with a smile. Hazel slowly looked towards Joe as he watched her softly. Gently grabbing her hand, Joe pressed a kiss to it and looked at Mara who watched expectantly. 

" To the stars we go!" Joe called, shooting up from his chair and taking Mara by the waist as she giggled, her squeals of excitement flying through the room as Joe played airplane with her through the dance floor, her laughs and his mixing like a little symphony. 

Hazel softly sat back in her chair watching them, a small smile on her face. 

21 years since the war had come and gone and hopefully in 21 years this war would be over. 

But all Hazel could do for now was sit back and enjoy the joy of Easy Company together again. Because in the future, they may never get this again - so she took these moments and stored them in her heart just like every other moment she had grown to instill deep within her. 

This was one of the many. She smiled.

" To the stars." she whispered. 

✰✰✰

_I AM ACTUALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW - i have adored writing this book more than anything and including Juliette in this final chapter with her POV and ending with Hazel with the stars was how I always wanted it :,) Please read the thank yous on the next page - thank you all! <3_


	74. thank you <3

Wow....I really can't believe it's over. Of course, I hope to get some deleted scenes out in the future, but it's over. 

This was my quarantine fic and I know I repeated it over and over, but this got me through quarantine more than anything where it seemed there was no answers for the real world. it was nice to jump into a different world for a bit and not have to worry about a thing. 

Thank you all for being apart of this story, for giving The Soldier of Stars and Ad Astra Per Aspera a chance - it means the world to me. Hazel Parker has shown me how powerful a quiet strength can be, and how one refused to let a war change her into something else, while being gentle and caring and loving all the same. Catherine McCown showed me the strength of a woman in the face of evil and being a voice of authority when there seemed like there wasn't one, she showed me the power of a voice. Lizzie Elliot showed me joy in dark times, the gentle and tender care of a presence and that no matter what you go through there's always joy and laughter and humor - there's always light. 

Writing these three women showed me sisterhood in times where it seemed like there was nothing but darkness - they showed me the power of women in a sisterhood who loved one another and cared for one another despite a war of this scale. I have never been more grateful for this story and what it's taught me and where it's lead me - new friends, readers and absolutely admirable and funny comments. 

I'm forever grateful for this experience and getting the chance to right this story.

And I thank you ALL. Please know that I appreciate every single one of you everyday. Truly, just, THANK YOU!

This is not good bye though! Band of Brothers is close to my heart and I felt making a third story would complete my Women of War series where Sunshine Soldier, TSOS, and AAPA exist and now Landslide follows. I invite you to read Landslide, if you wish - focusing on Natia Filispka, a fearless Polish Resistance Fighter and SOE Agent, based in Warsaw before she eventually escapes capture and meets the men of Easy Company. I hope you'll join me! <3

If you ever wish to talk, send me a message on here, hop on over to my tumblr @wexhappyxfew, where I have bonus material like moodboards and such and we can talk about whatever you wish! This isn't goodbye!! Hopefully I'll see you all very soon! :)

Thank you for an amazing year - I couldn't have done it without support!

Hazel, Catherine and Lizzie's story of Operation Virago will always live within me no matter what, every particle of their story, every line of dialogue, every action will always be within me. I'll never forget this experience.

Thank you all. Just...thank you, truly. <3

*sends virtual hugs*

\- wexhappyxfew 


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